When you were a child, you often had to wait for permission to do something. Perhaps you needed to be a certain age before you were allowed to use the oven or cross the road by yourself. Maybe you needed to ask mom before you got a snack. Even as a teen, you had to stick to rules: curfew, acceptable music volume, homework…

Once you’re eighteen, you’re free to do what you want (within the bounds of legality). So why do we get stuck waiting for permission?

You’ll know what I mean, even if you’ve never consciously acknowledged it. Maybe:

• You’re waiting for someone to say that you’re good enough before you’ll allow yourself to paint/write/sing/act
• You won’t take that course or qualification until you’re “ready”
• There are some things you’d love to try – but you’re worried what your mom would say
• You’re afraid to be yourself; you always follow the crowd

So often, the only person who needs to say “yes” is … you. Here’s how:

Read the rest of this article »

Are you worrying, hurrying or stressed? Stress comes with a long list of damaging effects of stress like heart disease, high blood pressure, accelerated aging, anxiety, depression, anger, forgetfulness, learning difficulty and sleep disorder. When we are stressed, we try to forget about stress by doing something else such as shopping, eating, watching a movie, listening to music, or even taking mind altering substances. By doing so, we might get a temporary relief from the stress but often end up more stressed. A good news is that scientists discovered very effective way of reducing stress with our mind. Jon Kabat-Zinn, Professor of Medicine Emeritus at the University of Massachusetts Medical School, was one of the first Western scientists who discovered and demonstrated the effectiveness of mindfulness in its clinical applications, especially stress reduction. Since he introduced Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) in 1979, University of Massachusetts Medical Center Research and other researchers elsewhere have found mindfulness is effective in reducing stress and provides other benefits. Mindfulness training is now becoming an essential stress reducing skills being offered growing number of hospitals, clinics, universities, psychiatrists and psychotherapists in US and other countries.

Read the rest of this article »

Have you ever been blind sided by an unexpected event that threatened to throw your dreams, hopes, and life plans off-course? If nothing that grandiose has happened (lucky you!), how about just being surprised by small obstacles that threaten to ruin your day?

Big or small, unexpected events will happen. You can not avoid them, you can only control how you respond to them. It is in those critical moments after the unexpected occurs that ultimately determine your long term success. Think about it: anyone can do well when everything is going great. What separates people who succeed (the Winners) from those who don’t and just complain about it (the Whiners) is how well they respond to life’s inevitable curveballs.

How can you make sure you respond to the unexpected like a Winner and not a Whiner? Here are six traits that separate the two:

1) Whiners Focus on the Past, Winners Focus on the Present and Future

Whiners love to dwell on the past. “I wish this never happened!” or, “if you had just done what I said we wouldn’t have this problem,” or everyone’s favorite, “I told you this would happen!”  The past is done and over and can not be changed. For some reason this simple concept eludes Whiners.

Winners understand that we live in the here and now. Rather than dwelling on the past, Winners focus on the future they want to create and think of actions they can take in the present to make that future happen.

Read the rest of this article »

Reports in the NY Times and elsewhere point to the rise of Chinese language instruction in our schools, against the backdrop of the demise of language learning in general. People justify this rush to Chinese by referring to the growth of the Chinese economy. The US government has declared Chinese a “critical language.” How realistic is this Chinese boom, and will it last? Here is a reality check.

1) Chinese will probably not help your kid get a job.

Chinese is being touted as the language of the future, given the growth of the Chinese economy. Some predict that a knowledge of Chinese will be big advantage in the job markets of the future. It is worthwhile remembering that Chinese is the language of business in only one country, China. Relatively few American kids are going to be working in China after graduating.

Read the rest of this article »

Image courtesy of vhm-alex @ deviantART

What’s your guilty reality TV pleasure? The Bachelor? Survivor? America’s Got Talent? Of course, the granddaddy of them all — American Idol — just started a new season. Some 30 or 40 million fans have been waiting six months for American Idol to kick off. If this season is anything like last season, expect at least 50 hours of American Idol on your TV. No, that’s not a typo.

Last year I gave you a few ideas on what you could have done with those 50 hours instead of watch American Idol. For example, you could earn an extra $1,000, read several books, start writing your own book, burn 43,000 calories jogging, learn the waltz, and others. But, who am I kidding? If you like the show, you’re not going to listen to me. Heck, I’m not even going to listen to me because I’m going to watch this season!

Read the rest of this article »

Image courtesy of Jamal Vrno

Being a big dreamer doesn’t mean that you walk around with your head in the clouds. It means that you’re seeking a purpose for your life and it means that you’re becoming fulfilled in the process.

People that get into the habit of dreaming big will accomplish those goals because they have the right mindset. You need to look at life with the perspective that you can achieve anything that’s possible. If you can accomplish big dreams, why wouldn’t you go after them? Why would you want to settle for small dreams?

Here’s a list of reasons why you should be a big dreamer:

Read the rest of this article »

A lot of people have quite a fatalistic attitude towards self-discipline. They see themselves as essentially undisciplined people who lack the stamina to follow through on their decisions. They might talk about a “procrastination problem” or “no will power”. They blame their lack of self-discipline for their inability to get their business off the ground, or finish college, or successfully quit smoking or diet.

I don’t believe that any of us are lost causes when it comes to self-discipline. I also don’t think that any of us are born with iron wills or great tenacity: it’s something which we learn.

Short-Time Pleasure

A lack of self-discipline is often the result of a focus on short-term pleasure over long-term rewards. You might have experienced this a lot as a teen or in college, prioritising partying or computer games over studying! And, at the time, you might have been quite annoyed by adults who tried to persuade you to knuckle down and get on with your homework. Perhaps you used to blow your allowance money on CDs, only to end up broke and unable to go out with friends.

Read the rest of this article »

Personal development happens when you finally decide to change the way you live your life for the better. It must be emphasized that the whole process is not only made up of good experiences or formal workshops. Even bad experiences can help in pointing a person to the right direction in life.

But most, if not all mentors would try to fix on self-motivation and positive thinking as the two most important considerations that ensure personal development success. Well, they may be right, but a holistic approach to self-development goes way beyond these two factors. Read on to know what else is needed to help you attain self-awareness and development.

Read the rest of this article »

“I’ll go for a run just as soon as I finish this article. … Right, should return that call from Roger. … Well, now I’m hungry and I can’t run on an empty stomach. … Now I’m feeling too full. … Rain clouds?! Better wait and see if it clears up. … Great. It’s getting dark now. … What a shame; I really was going to have that run. There’s always tomorrow!”

We lie! To ourselves and anyone who’ll listen. You see, part of me knew I had no intention of going for that run. Actually, I honestly love to exercise. And not just because it helps me sleep deeply and increases my energy.

I know that exercise motivation doesn’t come naturally to most people. It didn’t for me. I had to work at getting and keeping myself motivated to run, do yoga, and weight-lift.

The following tips work for me (and for many of my clients who need to exercise). I know they’ll help your exercise motivation, too.

Read the rest of this article »

Is it possible that you are (at least partially) responsible for your hectic, over-scheduled, and downright crazy schedule? Some of your time pressure is legitimate. You have HOA meetings to attend, kids that need a ride to soccer practice, household chores that need to be finished, and a host of other responsibilities. But studies show that we have more leisure time now than we have in the past.

While you may have more “leisure” time now than before, it won’t feel like it if you fill your free time with activities that aren’t enriching. Still, the challenge is freeing up more time in an environment where it feels like there are more and more demands on your time.

If you look closely at how you spend your time and discover that you may be your own worst enemy, try the following two strategies:

Read the rest of this article »