Self-Esteem: Are You Actually That Bad?

It’s pretty obvious that every one of us wants to feel that oh-so-popular “high self-esteem”, right?

It’s drilled in us since we’re little to feel confident, to feel good about ourselves, and to “know who we are!”

We see books, websites, podcasts and posts all dedicated to self-esteem.

Think about the most common advice you usually hear about how to get high self-esteem?

1. Do something for someone else to feel good about yourself

2. Think about your achievements

3. Be unique (because you’re special!)

Despite all this advice, why do so many people have low self-esteem?

Want me to explain?

Self-Esteem Is Naturally Inside Of You

Firstly self-esteem is naturally inside of you.  A lot of people think you have to DO something or BE someone in order to EARN self-esteem.  The truth is that it’s already inside of you. 

Self-esteem is how much you value yourself.  The thing is that we’re all just ourselves, and we all offer something.  

There’s no such thing as high self-esteem or low self-esteem.  There’s just how connected you are to what’s naturally inside of you.

Being Connected To You 

Being connected to what’s naturally inside of you is allowing yourself to feel what’s naturally inside of you, and that’s love & connection.

A lot of people think love comes from the outside. Most people are trying to GET love.

Love & connection actually starts from the inside, and I could prove it to you!

Place your hand over your heart and think about someone you deeply love.  Feel the feeling fully.  

What did you feel?  Love, right?  Exactly.

If Love Is Naturally Inside, What’s The Conditioning That Makes Us Look Outwards?

1. Do something for someone else to feel good about yourself 

Helping people definitely feels good, especially helping people you care about.  At the same time helping someone to feel good about yourself guarantees that you will never fully feel the love that’s already inside of you.


Because you believe you have to do something to feel it.  It’s a trade in this case.  I do something for you, and I obviously won’t ask for it consciously, but subconsciously I’m hoping for love back.  

You might ALSO like helping because that’s who you are.  It’s when you also do it to feel significant and to get love in return that blocks you from fully feeling what’s already inside of you.

The way out is to help because that’s who you are.  You’ll feel the love and therefore self-esteem.  From that place you’ll be able to help MORE, as well as feeling good about yourself.

2. Think about your achievements

The classic achiever in this one.  Most of us get praised for getting high marks in school, doing good in sports, and for looking good.  

When we get praised we feel significant and translate it to mean love.  

That’s why we think it helps our self-esteem, because we’re finally worth it, right?


Anybody that plays that game can tell you how it’s a never ending game.  You also never feel real self-esteem.  Sucks eh?

The way out is to achieve because of the journey.  You love growing and making things happen.  You get to feel your love AND get to always learn and grow.  

3. Be unique (because you’re special!)

I think this one is becoming more and more prevalent.  Coming from a past where parents rarely told their kids how proud they were, this new generation gets all the praise in the world.

They get praised for being so unique and special.  It’s true that all of us are unique and offer something.  It’s that when we think we’re somehow more important than the next person is when we again, block ourselves from feeling ourselves.

You don’t need to feel special in order to feel self-esteem.  That allows you to use your unique gifts to truly help people.

In Conclusion

Self-esteem is naturally inside of you.  You feel it by letting go of the conditioning that we’ve all been taught.  You finally GET to feel what’s naturally inside of you.

What do you think?

Giovanni Maccarrone helps his clients with self-esteem, confidence, and the real motivation that’s naturally inside of them by helping them get back to who they truly are inside.

More from Giovanni here:

Instagram: @inspireyourselflc


Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.

58 Responses to Self-Esteem: Are You Actually That Bad?

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