It is easy for us to express our love to others. We dedicate time and effort to be with our beloved family, friends, and special ones. But most of the time we forget to show our love to ourselves. Take this as a reminder and a sign that you need to dedicate some effort to love and take care of yourself. The simplest way to start? Write yourself a love letter.
Yes, writing yourself a love letter might sound weird to some of you. Honestly, it was strange to me at first. It is because we got used to treating ourselves as expendable. And it took courage and much support for me to start practicing self-love fully. But however strange the idea of writing ourselves a love letter is, it is an effective way to start focusing our attention on ourselves, appreciating, and loving ourselves more. If you have never written a love letter to yourself before, I have few tips here to share with you.
The first step is to dedicate some time and set up a comfortable space to write. Being in a comfortable setting is important as it allows your mind to be at ease. You will be professing love to someone special with words, so pick a lovely place where you can slow down all the other thoughts and focus on this special someone (P.S.: it’s you!). It can be a comfy corner of your favorite café and you can order a delicious sweet cake that reminds you of your sweet notions. If you love nature, you can have a little nook deep in the woods or sit under the palm tree on a warm sandy beach. For me, it was on my sofa, lighting a floral-scented candle, and with my blue pea flower tea on my side. When choosing the space to write this love letter, think of it as a date: where would you take yourself to?
Writing the letter to yourself needs to be done with full attention and love, so always go the old-fashioned way: handwriting. Typing, especially on digital devices, will take the personal connection and intention out of the letter. Instead, with the old pen and paper way, we get to slow down and be more intentional in expressing our love. Go above and beyond, choose the best paper you have ever touch, and write with the greatest pen you have ever had. Here you may exercise in acknowledging what you like and your favorite things: imagine the best love letter you will ever receive and take this as a chance to gift yourself just that. My very first self-love letter was on a 160-gram ivory paper, written with a brown gel pen. The goal here is to impress this special someone who you are writing to, so put out all of your best moves.
Don’t forget, you are not writing an evaluation sheet. It is a love letter, so think about all the things you admire about yourself and express all the love you have for yourself. Start with a sweet salutation, you can call yourself in a way that makes you smile.
The first part of the love letter can be about the loveliest moments. You can write them out by recalling the beautiful memories in your life, your proudest achievements, and the best choices you have made. Write yourself the praises you have been wanting to hear, don’t wait for someone else to say it to you, you can say it to yourself.
The next part is the cheering section. There may be some things about yourself that you are not so happy about or things that you are scared of and worried about. Notice them and write them down, but with all the encouragement that you deserve to hear. Compliment yourself for doing your best so far and give yourself the motivation to overcome them all. And remember to celebrate the unique traits that make you, you. Let it all out because you deserve it all!
For the last part, close your love letter by declaring your love and encouraging yourself with positive affirmations. Be sure to include a lovely salutation that will always make your day whenever you will read this love letter.
When the love letter is all written down, it is time to “send” the letter. Keep the letter somewhere special but not hidden, in a treasure box on the shelf or a dedicated space in your drawer. Treat the letter with tenderness as it is a love letter from a very special someone. Whenever you feel like you need support and love, don’t wait for someone else to give it to you, you can gift yourself just that by reading your love letter.
There you have it, how to write your first love letter to yourself. When you are ready to level up on self-love and self-improvement, you can find many tips and even guided exercises that you can do in groups. Eventually, all the self-improvement exercises will lead you to healthier well-being and happier life.
Written by Fergie Verantianes, Self-Growth Advocate at Uloo – the app that guides people to learn new things, build better habits, grow with support from others, and improve their life.
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