Is This One Critical Mistake Crippling Your Confidence?

Are you’re freaking out at the thought of meeting new people, speaking up at that meeting or going for that job interview?

Have you tried all the standard advice on how to be more confident, more self-assured?

And have all your efforts actually left you less confident, less self-assured?

Take heart. You’re not alone. There’s a really good reason.

You see, it’s still good advice…

  • Talk louder
  • Walk faster
  • Strike a ‘power pose’

And so on.

Good advice that is … for anyone not like you.

That’s not because there’s anything wrong with you. In fact, it’s the opposite. It’s because everything is right with you.

The problem is you’re making one critical mistake that’s crippling your confidence…

The true, authentic you.

You see, you were born with a fierce desire to be you. And you naturally want success in your personal and work life. But not at the expense of who you truly are.

And you feel that if you follow a lot of the good, but generic advice out there on how to be confident, you’ll end up a walking, talking, posturing caricature of yourself.

Trying to build healthy self-esteem and confidence by imitating others is like trying to eat healthily on a diet of fast food.

Your self-esteem and confidence can only flourish in the person it belongs to – you.

You are unique and have always had your own unique self-confidence. What you need is to unlock that confidence and use it to permanently rock your world.

You see, the critical mistake all this advice is making is treating self-confidence as if it were somehow an external thing.

True, lasting confidence is an inside job.

The advantage of inner confidence is that it doesn’t rely on ‘faking it or external techniques designed to impress others. Techniques that, even though they may work in the short term, leave people like you and me feeling less confident and often with lower self esteem in the long term.

Remember, the only thing NO ONE on this planet can do better than you … is be YOU.

Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You! – Dr Seuss

Or if you prefer:

Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. – Oscar Wilde

You will always be a poor imitation of anyone else. Only by unlocking your true inner confidence can you :

  • stop feeling intimated by others
  • stop feeling inferior to others
  • stop saying ‘yes’ to everyone and everything.

And instead:

  • Start feeling good about yourself
  • Start feeling more confident about your capabilities
  • Start saying ‘no’ and standing up for yourself without creating conflict or feeling guilty.

So here’s a few suggestions to start unlocking your inner confidence…

  • Instead of talking louder, try talking quieter – Gandhi never raised his voice and a nation listened.
  • Instead of walking faster, try walking at your own pace – I’ve never seen the Dalai Lama rushing from one place to the next.
  • Instead of striking a ‘power pose’, try letting your authentic body language speak for itself.

Unlock you inner confidence

Stop missing out on great social, personal and work opportunities

Imagine being at ease when meeting new people.

Imagine speaking up with confidence at that next meeting.

Imagine acing that next job interview.

Let your authentic, inner confidence rock your world.

From the inside, out.

Bio: Laura Tong is a former health professional, a regular contributor on The Huffington Post and Assistant Editor at Goodlife ZEN. Along with Mary Jaksch, a psychotherapist and authorized Zen Master she has created The Confidence Blueprint to help you feel good about yourself and unlock your authentic confidence with proven strategies and techniques. Or take her fun and revealing Confidence Quiz.




Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.

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