So you want to feel confidence that’s running through every vein? The type of confidence that brings out the absolute best in you? That inner voice that makes heads turn, the looks that make people shut up, or the suggestion that makes people nod. You want the kind of confidence that when you walk into a room and own it.
There is no such thing as confidence potion or self-esteem vitamin, however.
The good news is that self-confidence can be drawn from within. Actually, that’s what should happen – if the confidence is real. It is not something that you necessarily have to get or buy from someone. You can draw it from your own stock inside you.
Let me share with you how you can use these reserves that are inside of you and see what we can do to poke them out to get that oozing confidence!
1. Recall those small successes that bring out positive emotions
Do you remember that day when you helped your boss recover an unsaved file; when you lost your way but eventually found your destination by keeping your focus; or when you placed in the top 5 in your exams unexpectedly? These were the wow-moments when you felt great and confident about yourself. Those were the days when you were willing to take the lead, no matter how it may sound insignificant or trivial, to make an impact in your life or of another.
Being confident is not a one-time package that you can get in one box and have it forever. You have to work for it. You have to discover bits and pieces of it in the things you do, the events in your life or even in your daily routine.
Hence, make it a daily exercise to draw those positive energies from within by spending quiet moments of reflection remembering those moments when you had those little or even big successes. Use them to face your challenges. It will surely make wonders!
2. Remove the negativity in your mind and in your life
In our lifetime, we are full of negativity- those we acquired from our childhood while we were growing up, those people who tried to knock down our self-worth with verbal abuse, those unfortunate events that we did not have control of but continue to haunt us. The examples would be endless if I would take the time to list them one by one.
Some of these still hound us on a daily or regular basis. They keep coming back precisely on those moments when we face the challenges that question our self-confidence and capability. There is nothing wrong with looking back for once but we have to do so quickly just to draw learning from them. Acknowledging the past is the first step.
Furthermore, while you can spend time for reflection on the good things, you can also spend part of that time to detoxify your inner self. Find out what good we can take from those unpleasant experiences and move on. Throw them away, try to forget them and if you can’t, seek appropriate help.
3. Reflect and visualize the confident you
Author Jack Canfield encourages visualization to help fast-track the achievement of those goals or dreams. He says it activates your creative subconscious and programs your brain to be more aware of your environment.
The practice of visualization was never a formal exercise that even many successful people do. A large number of them probably did so unconsciously in face of adversity or need to survive. They tried to learn and pickup from what they see from other successful people and feed their minds that someday they will get there if they work on their goals.
Use visualization to project your self-confidence. Who do you see yourself in the next five years? Like a rich educated gentleman who speaks and walks confidently? Like a team leader who can command respect from his members? Like a community leader who can courageously beat the odds to stand for what he believes in?
You can use your imagination to see yourself in the position of these admired persons. If you have to spend a time in your routine and meditate to imagine your goals; if you have to cut down images that represent your confident self and put them on a board; if you have to write descriptive words and record them in a diary for you to remember them—do so. It will help you realize your goals faster!
The truth about oozing confidence and what you can do about it
So you really want that powerful confidence to come out of you? Think again. There is no magic pill to give you that great confidence.
Oozing confidence is about drawing from your experience those winning moments and using them to face new challenges. It is about making yourself visible and truly relevant to your workplace, family and community. It is not about the noise but the impact you make in the place where you live.
It’s about time you make a choice. I therefore challenge you to make one little step to this journey – to join my community and support group. Let’s work on this together and see how far you can go!
Rob Leonardo is the creator of successful email series turned into a book, Confidence Upgrade. He advocates building self-confidence around an alternative mantra “be bold assertive and happy.” He is giving away digital copies of his book next month to the first 100 new subscribers to his support community. Get access HERE.
photo credits: Tim Inconnu