How To Be Confident – 5 Ways That Actually Work

When you start looking for ways to be confident, you’ll probably end up finding tons of different tips and tricks. Some of them work more, some less. However, there’s lots of content that suggests you to rather fake it or focus on little details. Details that will help but won’t create rock-hard core confidence.

Today, I’d like to share with you five tips to be confident that actually work. I’ve spent years improving my confidence and these tips are something that have had a massive impact. Now, I’d love to share these battle-tested methods with you.

1 Take care of the “little things”

When I say little things I mean daily, little tasks and self-care activities that you’ll face. Every little thing like skipping the Mc Donalds, keeping your apartment clean, and avoiding too much scrolling in social media.

These things may seem irrelevant but hear me out. If you neglect one of them, neglecting another one becomes easier and easier. And after a while, you’ve ignored your daily tasks and spent hours of scrolling celebrity gossips on social media.

However, if you commit to taking care of the simplest things like making your bed, you’ll gain a small sense of pride and an urge to move to another task. This creates a positive, self-amplifying spiral that makes you a person with standards.

When you take care of the little things, that momentum will bleed to the bigger things like working on your career and exercising. I mean, it’s way easier to be confident when you’ve finished your tasks in a clean apartment and haven’t spent hours on Instagram, etc.

2 Be confident with martial arts

Martial arts are a phenomenal way to boost your confidence and life in general. I’ve spent many years practicing them and they’ve been nothing but good.

When you know that you’ll have the skills to defend yourself, it’s easier to be confident in social situations. Fights rarely happen (which is good), but the underlying belief of your capabilities is always there.

On top of that, martial arts teach you many valuable, confidence-building skills. Skills and abilities like physical fitness, mental toughness, discipline, and self-esteem.

If you’re looking for a new hobby, consider trying martial arts. The best ones in my opinion are MMA, Kickboxing, Muay Thai, and Ju-Jitsu.

3 People see you how you see yourself

One thing that’s notorious for affecting confidence is your flaws and how other people see you. I’ve seen people trying to fix this, but they’re approaching the problem from the wrong perspective. You should never try to impress others or try to prove yourself.

See, here’s the fact: people see you how you see yourself. If you accept your flaws like they’re not a big deal, they will sense your confidence and respect you more.

Realizing this helps you to be confident and here’s why: When you know this, you can carry out yourself with dignity, knowing that it’s ok to have flaws, and let that inner confidence reflect from you. Everybody makes mistakes sometimes.

Let’s say something you dislike about yourself comes up in a conversation. You can just admit it like it’s not a big deal and let that become your reality. When you master this technique, you’ll go through life with ease and confidence.

4 Learn to set boundaries

A great way to train your confidence is to set boundaries in different areas of life. This means being crystal clear about what you tolerate from your friends, co-workers, dating partners, or anyone.

Sometimes we end up in situations where someone treats us unfairly, but calling it out would cause a conflict. This can be a friend who starts to complain when you’ve decided to go to the gym instead of hanging out. Or maybe a dating partner who tries to manipulate you by asking to pay for every date. I guess you got the point.

However, you’ll have to learn to set boundaries. If you’ve decided to go to the gym, go there regardless of your friend’s complaints. If someone in your dating life is toxic, either tell them to change or kick them out of your life.

If you sacrifice your boundaries, two things will happen. Firstly, your self-esteem suffers because you try to please everybody. Secondly, others will sense your weakness and maybe even start using you.

But if you stay stubborn and push through the conflict, you’ll find yourself being more confident and respected in the long run. So, remember to respect your boundaries, my friend.

5 Form a sense of purpose

Purpose means a certain goal that you pursue constantly in your life. If you don’t have one yet, now it’s a good time to figure it out. It can be anything from building a billion-dollar company to scoring A on your next test.

This purpose is good if it fills the two following criteria:

  • You find it exciting and motivating
  • It feels fulfilling and meaningful

See, when you form a sense of purpose that puts fire in your belly, you start feeling like you’re doing something remarkable on this planet. You’re on your own path and mission. This causes every little inconvenience to feel irrelevant and will drastically boost your confidence.

If you get rejected, someone speaks poorly about you, or something like that, so what? You got better things to do. A sense of purpose that’s formed properly will put away all the small inconveniences that cause insecurity.

Again, this can be any goal as long as it inspires you, and it can change. So, pick something that feels meaningful and start executing. You don’t have to have it all figured out yet. The most important thing is to take action.

With all this said, I hope you enjoyed this post. The confidence is there for you to take.

Veikko Arvonen is a blogger with a burning passion for self-development. He’s the author of Maxed Out 20s, where he shares how you can become more confident, respected, attractive, and happier. Visit his blog to learn more and get your free confidence ebook!


Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.

107 Responses to How To Be Confident – 5 Ways That Actually Work

  1. lucabet says:

    I like the idea of ‘ took care of little things’, I personaly called it detail enthusiastic. Guys, please make sure to work hard, work best and took care of little things.

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  3. Felicity Young says:

    This article really moved me. “People see you how you see yourself” is very true. Accepting your flaws and not making it a big deal makes you really confident.

  4. Lisa Sicard says:

    Hi Erin, I love the part of having boundries. They are so important in being true to yourself which will boost your confidence. When you can say “no” to others “yes” to yourself you grow your confidence.
    I also love doing things I’ve never done before that scare me a little to increase my own confidence.

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