6 Way To Recalibrate and Focus Where You Spend Your Energy This Holiday Season

Life is short they say!  Eat the dessert first they say!  Well, there is some truth to this as we only have a certain amount of time/energy and as I reference in my book “heartbeats” in this life.  The good news is we have the power to decide where, when and how we spend this energy.

Many of us may think of the holidays with fantasies of sugar plum fairies, ginger bread cookies and a house filled with the smell of fresh baked bread.  In reality, however, it can be stressful.  The demands of your time whether it be to purchase the perfect gift, put up the perfect decorations or participate in festivities may leave you with less than the desirable holiday cheer.  So how can you protect your precious time/energy and heartbeats this holiday season?  

Listed below are 6 ways to recalibrate and focus where you spend your energy this holiday season:

Heartbeat Bank Account:

·        Picture your precious time and energy as heartbeats in a bank.  We are so careful with where and how we spend our money, why are we not doing the same with our precious heartbeats?  Pay close attention this holiday season to where, with whom and how you spend them.  Before committing to anything, ask yourself “is this a worthy transaction of my heartbeats?”  Let the answer guide your decisions on how you spend your precious time.

Best For Test:

·        This is an important guiding tool I use with my clients often which can be reinforced during the holiday season.  Pay close attention to who you surround yourself with.  Yes, there are some family gatherings and work event you may need to go to, however, for the other areas in your life, before you say yes to spending time with people, as yourself these questions:

o   Do these people bring out the best in who you are, or do you find yourself feeling a bit agitated when in their company?

o   Do you feel energized about the things you talk about or generally uninspired?

o   Do you feel better about yourself when you leave them, or do you feel as if you could have spent your time more wisely.

There is no judgement and no shame.  Use this as a simple guide to decide how to spend your time and recalibrate.

Pay Attention to Self-Care:

·        Self-care is not selfish.  It is critical to put your oxygen mask on first, especially during the holiday season.  Do you ever find that you have a shorter temper when you are tired, not eating well and doing so much for others that you forget to take care of yourself?  You deserve to have this care.  Try to stay mindful and do one good thing for yourself each day.  It could be as small as ten minutes to yourself, taking a bath or going to bed on time.  Self-care is a very powerful way to maintain your focus (and your sanity) through the holiday season.

Set Your Intentions:

·        You are very powerful.  Our thoughts drive our behaviors and these behaviors create the experiences in our lives.  Set some time aside to really think about the experiences you want in the new year.  Visualize the experiences you wish to have as if they are already yours and then set your intention.  Start thinking about a small step you can take to get there.  This not only guides you to your future but also can get you excited for what is possible.

The Timer Test:

·        Similar to the previous recommendation of how powerful our thoughts are, this is a way to check ourselves to what we are thinking about.  Set a timer to go off at random times during the day.  When the timer goes off, check in on what you were thinking.  Was it loving and caring or was it filled with stress and judgement?  Is it something you would say to a friend or a foe?  Pay attention as everything counts.  This information will help you reset and be more mindful of the thoughts you allow in your mind.  You are the bouncer of those thoughts and have the power to recalibrate and refocus as needed.

Add Gratitude and Stir:

·        Sometimes, there can be anxiety and stress during the holiday season.  The good news is there are two emotions that cannot occur at the same time which are anxiety and gratitude.  Whenever you begin to feel anxiety, think of three things you are really grateful for.  Really feel the gratitude flow through your body and melt away the anxiety. Try it now…. Can you feel it?

Enjoy this holiday season knowing you are more powerful than you could ever imagine.  Use some of these tips to help guide you through your days and trust the next chapter because you are the Author.

Written by Fortune 50 exec turned women’s empowerment coach, Stacey Aaron Domanico, author of Where Do You Spend Your Heartbeats? Design the Life You Desire, One Heartbeat at a Time


Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.

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