Why Confidence Is Silent And Insecurities Loud – The Honest Truth

Confidence is silent and insecurities are loud. This is a common quote in the world of self-development. This quote is very true and understanding it is crucial. Yet, not everybody understands it.

If you understand it, you’ll achieve a greater level of confidence that benefits you in many ways. You’ll gain more happiness, higher self-esteem, and more opportunities. Fail to understand it, and the consequences can be nasty.

Today, I’d like to break down this topic for you. If you want to know how to implement this mindset and why it’s like this, read on.

Determining confidence

In an informal language, confidence often means trusting in your abilities. If someone speaks poorly about you, can you maintain a positive opinion about you? When you’re seizing an opportunity, can deal with the fear of failure?

There are many ways to determine confidence, but this is my favorite: 

Being confident means that you can enter a situation, knowing that you’ll be fine in the end. Even if the outcome is negative.

Why confidence is silent and insecurities loud?

To fully understand the quote “confidence is silent and insecurities loud”, it’s beneficial to take a look at some examples:

When someone insults you, can you stay calm and ignore them? If you have core confidence, you don’t step into their game. Simply because you don’t need to prove yourself. You’re strong enough to stay quietly confident without wasting time on them.

Insecure people would start to feel bad about themselves and argue back. Thus, insecurity is loud.

If you’re confident, you don’t have to prove your strengths either. If someone loudly brags about their achievements, it’s arrogance. Often, it’s caused by insecurity and an urge to prove something.

Confident people, however, don’t need to prove themselves. Sure, they demonstrate their capability, but not in an arrogant way. That’s because they don’t feel like proving themselves.

The honest truth is that insecurity is loud because insecure people need external validation to feel good about themselves. They need to be loud because they try to convince or manipulate you. They may seem confident but they’re not. 

Confident people don’t do that because they don’t need external validation. They’re secure with their strengths and flaws. This is why confidence is silent and insecurities loud.

Why you should know the difference?

Knowing the difference is crucial for a couple of reasons. Firstly, knowing it allows you to build your confidence the right way. When you focus on yourself, your confidence comes from the inside. It’s under your control and immune to external factors.

This has several benefits on your mental health. It results in high self-esteem. You can also enjoy life fully when you can take the different opportunities that it presents to you.

Secondly, learning to spot fake confidence helps you a lot. You’ll face arrogant people sometimes. When you understand why confidence is silent and insecurities loud, dealing with them becomes easier. In fact, it can even be fun.

Think about it, can you take an arrogant person seriously, when you know that they’re just acting tough? When you implement this belief completely, you’ll be immune to them. Simply because you don’t care what they think about you.

How to build quiet confidence?

Now that you know the difference, you probably want to know how to build your quiet confidence. Here’s how:

You must learn to see yourself the right way. This means creating a positive opinion about you. An opinion so strong, that nothing can shake it. Things that may affect it can be failures, insults, and flaws.

We all have different beliefs about ourselves. A belief is a thought or an idea that you’re very certain of. A list of good beliefs that cause confidence can be like this:

  • I’m good enough.
  • I’m secure with my flaws and they don’t make me a bad person.
  • I don’t care what others think about me.
  • I don’t need to compare or prove myself to anyone.

On the other hand, a set of bad beliefs could be something like this:

  • I’m not good enough.
  • I’m ashamed of my flaws. They lower my worth.
  • I must convince other people to like me.
  • I need to be better at something than other people.

First, come up with any negative beliefs you have about yourself. With every belief, some thoughts support it. To change those beliefs, you must come up with ideas that tear them down and replace them with positive ones.

For example, if you just got fired because of a mistake, you may have a belief like “I am stupid.” To weaken this belief, come up with beliefs like “It’s OK to fail, it’s natural.”

Confidence is silent and insecurities loud – The holy grail

Creating new beliefs takes some effort, but it’s worth it. Use the tips I’ve given in this article. It may take some quiet time and multiple thought exercises to let them sink in. Also, consider writing them down. I’ve tried that, and it’s very effective.

Above all realize this: People see you how you see yourself. When you master a good set of beliefs, you’ll feel and act confident naturally. Your words, behavior, and appearance signal this, which makes others treat you accordingly. At this point, the positive feedback gives you even more confidence, and so on.

The bottom line

There you have it. A full guide about why confidence is silent and insecurities loud. I hope this article gave you some good insights. The sooner you realize this, the better. 

If you read the entire article, congratulations! You’ve taken your first step towards a more confident lifestyle. With this said, I wish you an awesome day!

Veikko Arvonen is a blogger with a burning passion for self-development. He’s the author of Maxed Out 20s, where he shares how you can become more confident, respected, attractive, and happier. Visit his blog to learn more and get your free confidence ebook!


Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.

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    People who are confident, on the other hand, do not need to prove themselves. Sure, they show off their abilities, but not in an arrogant manner. They don’t want to prove themselves, therefore they don’t. Insecurity is loud because insecure people require external reinforcement in order to feel good about themselves.


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