What is the Truth to Gaining Confidence?

You’re confident. You’re confident? You’re confident!

If only gaining confidence was as easy as telling yourself that you’re confident. But the truth is, it takes just a bit of effort in a few specific areas.

Here’s the deal: I know it’s not easy to be confident at all times. I’ve been there. And I’ve made it to the other side.

The good news about confidence is that it can be learned. Yes, I had to do some work. But with practice, you can actually become a master at it.

You must be wondering, what are the steps? How does one gain confidence if they don’t have any of it built-in yet? 

Especially for some personality types (MBTI or Big Five factors), the effort you need to reach full confidence will vary. Based on your current scores, these personality tests can be a helpful feedback tool, to show you in which areas you need to work.

But I’ll tell you a secret: No matter your current confidence level, all you have to do is practice these 5 actions every week. These helped me so much, and they will work for you as well. And soon, you will see your confidence start to take off. 

1. Take Baby Steps of Action

Nobody ever gained confidence by overthinking. On the contrary, a lot of this becomes stored in the body as muscle-memory.

Take some steps for your confidence each day, however small. It may seem a bit scary & overwhelming right now, but that’s ok… baby steps will solve this in due time.

If there is something you’ve been wanting to do, this is the key. To simply do it. No matter how small the baby steps. Just do it. 

How about an example: If you want to dance in public, maybe that is too scary right now. If you keep postponing & making excuses, it will never happen. So you always have the opportunity to start small. Start with dancing among your friends & family. Face the discomfort, tell it hello, and keep practicing.

I used these baby steps to master dancing, talking to strangers, and public speaking. It really works.

Anywhere you can, look for an opportunity to try a baby step.

2. Monitor & Measure Your Progress

Like we already said, confidence is the result of taking action. No matter how small the action. In such cases, what really works, and helps me push through the biggest challenges, is to track & monitor your progress.

When you do something repeatedly, you get better at it. It’s true what they say, “A professional is an amateur who shows up every day.” So here’s what you do: Monitor your progress in writing. Then keep on learning & improving. And be proud of making an effort for yourself.

You can use a measuring tool called the X effect.  Put a calendar up at home where you will see it every day. Mark a big X each day where you accomplish a baby step.

This is because tracking your progress gives you the motivation to continue. And your motivation feeds your discipline. 

This way, the results of your baby steps will let you become more confident in the minimum possible time. Every time you mark an X in your calendar, you are closer to full confidence.

Photo by fauxels from Pexels

3. Practice Self-Care or Self-Compassion

If this is new for you, you are in for a real treat. This was one of my biggest discoveries in personal development.

Review what you say to yourself when you make a mistake, or you get stuck. What is the tone of that language you use?

The reason for checking this is because most of us tend to be very critical or rough on ourselves. And that can make things worse.

Because deep inside you, there is a child-like version of you who needs loving & firm encouragement. So one of the keys to gaining confidence is to be a good coach to yourself. 

Thus, when you’re facing a difficult situation, talk to yourself like you would talk to a child; in a calm, loving manner. Ask reasonable questions wherever it’s helpful. And where appropriate, use a bit of encouragement or kind firmness.

When you respect yourself, your confidence increases. There are even studies that have linked compassion to confidence. And there’s also common sense that tells us that we should be kind to ourselves. This way, you have a good best friend with you, 7×24.

Just like riding a bike, once you learn it, you are set for life. But if you don’t know how to practice-self-care with yourself yet, just ask your mentor or coach for some guidance here.

Be a good coach to yourself.

Credit: Photo by Kampus Production from Pexels

4. Proactive Self-Management

Do you know what else is under the surface of confidence? It’s being and feeling healthy. 

Now you may be wondering what’s the connection here. It’s because self-care leads to feeling good about yourself. Notice how happy cats & dogs usually are, and how much time they spend on self-care.

Everyone says it, but are you practicing it? Eat well, exercise regularly, and sleep well. Feed your brain and mindset with constructive and helpful tools.

Confidence is not a single “thing.” It’s a complete package of mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. When you practice your baby steps in all of these areas, you feel better about yourself. And that’s where your journey to confidence gains momentum. 

Take advantage of the next 2 months to focus on just one of these items: eating healthy, or fitness, or your bedtime routine. With that focus, in 2 months you will be feeling better. And that feeling translates directly into your self-confidence.

Credits; ​​Photo by Product School on Unsplash

5. Trust Yourself to Get Some Guidance

You know what’s amazing about this journey? You’re not alone. I’ve been there, and it was scary at first. Yet when I found the right people to help me, it got so much easier.

There are thousands of people who wish to gain confidence, just like you. And there are good people who are there to guide you through the process.

Think about it… you’re not supposed to know everything about life. It’s okay if you don’t know how to do something all by yourself. 

Just like you can help a baby learn to walk faster than they could do it alone, a great coach will do wonders for you. So trust yourself to get the guidance and support you need.

And in just a few weeks, you will feel like a new you. Your coach will help you find what’s keeping you stuck, and give you the specific support you need. This way, you can make rapid progress, without wasting years stuck on hold. Or even putting your effort into the wrong things.

Putting it All Together 

So there are various components which add up to being and feeling confident. Practicing these, in baby steps, will let you feel satisfied, authentic, and fulfilled. 

Trust yourself to forgive & accept your own mistakes… and learn from them. And here’s the best part. You get to decide what it means to feel confident. And only you get to decide to declare yourself a confident person. 

All that matters is that you start right now.

For all the great things your education gave you, they didn’t teach you how to have great confidence for your life & career. My mission is to teach you the most effective tools for your ongoing success & confidence. All my best, Christian Pyrros, Senior Mentor & Coach at 


Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.

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