There’s so many ressources available on the internet on how to build your confidence. Everyone seems to have their method, and the aim of this discussion is not to look and judge, but to reflect on what confidence actually does, in a practical sense.
Objectively: Con– and fidere are the Latin roots of the English word “confidence.”
Specifically, the prefix con– means “with.” The infinitive fidere means “to believe in.”
So confidence is basically about having faith in yourself.
From there, it’s not hard to understand why this is so important in life. People who have faith in themselves, dare take risks, and in turn, have more rewarding experiences.
People who have faith in themselves understand that their mistakes cannot define them, and instead they can only help them grow.
People who have faith in themselves believe in their own ability to learn from their mistakes, and do better than they have previously done.
They don’t dwell, sulk, regret, or remain stuck in fear for very long. These things don’t serve anyone, but people who have faith in themselves, and trust in their ability to bounce back, are able to stay away from these behaviors.
As a result, they gain time.
Confident people have more time.
As they have more time they are able to be more productive. As they are more emotionally stable and more prone to risk taking, they create more opportunities for themselves.
As they combine hightened productivity with (calculated) risk-taking they become more successful, they become high achievers, and then what happens?
“Just as the foundation of successful experience is self-confidence, so the foundation of self-confidence is successful experience.”
-Neil Burton, author of Heaven and Hell: The Psychology of Emotions
And then, their blessings multiply. It’s the virtuous cycle of confidence:
Confidence -> Action -> (Positive) Results -> Confidence -> Action
Where it starts for you depends on your own personal starting point in terms of self-confidence.
If you’ve got it in spades and want even more of it, all you have to do is capitalize on what you have, and take action, take risks, take a stab at something you’ve always wanted, that girl, boy, business, championship, whatever it is you wish you had, get up and go after it.
Every new successful experience will bring you closer to your next successful experience, and your next, and so on…
And if you don’t think you’re one of “them”, those people who have faith in themselves, the first think that you could do is start changing your mind.
See that’s exactly the type of thinking that is currently holding you back. This thought that you aren’t like those people who make great things happen.
The thought that “those” people were born with some biological advantage you weren’t given.
Extreme cases aside, you know deep down that this just isn’t true. And I’m here to tell you everyone has it in them, that strength to get up and grab the bull by the horns.
And there are indeed diffent approaches you can take to start feeling more confident.
I approach this problem from a social perspective, sharing techniques on how to communicate effectively, understanding people better, and how to deal with the different social challenges regular people face on the day-to-day.
Knowing that I’m able to do these things allows me to operate confidently in this human, connected, and social world we live in.
So maybe there’s another advantage to self-confidence, the peace of mind!
Either way, you know the drill, it all starts with you going out to do something. 🙂
“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”
How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.