SIGNY Comes Clean: Embracing the Struggle

We wrote ‘Clean’ to paint a picture of what it’s like to struggle with demons that often overwhelm you without warning. We both have experienced the magnitude of childhood trauma. We’ve been to the underworld and returned to the land of the living. Fiends have many forms. They’re shapeshifters. They can self-replicate and reproduce. Those that follow you may be different than ours, but the struggle is the same, and the struggle is real.

“I bang my head on an imaginary wall” is a representation of how real the struggle can get. It might be intangible and inside you, but you can hurt yourself with it.

“I dig my nails into the floorboards as I crawl” represents the inner turmoil of getting well. You want to be better, so you move forward, but you hold on to what’s familiar even when it’s slowing you down. Or killing you.

Self-hate is a reflex that develops when you’re trying to make sense of why others have hurt you. Once you realize that they hurt you because they were hurt, the healing process can start. And when you take your power back by believing you deserve to be here and be heard, you begin the journey to self-love. ‘Clean’ is about that journey.

We end the song with an anthem: “I am, I am not here to please. I am, I am out of apologies. I am clean.

You are not alone in your struggles. They make you the beautiful human that you are. You may not see it yet, but we do.

Clean Lyrics
Sorry this dream takes up so much time
Sorry my life is burying me alive
I am sorry that nothing has worked out like we planned
I am sorry the one you love is the one you can’t stand
Sorry these voices are telling me to hide
Sorry I ever asked you to stick by my side
I am sorry space seems like the perfect solution
I am sorry that I’ve come a permanent pollution
I bang my head
On an imaginary wall
I dig my nails
Into the floorboard as I crawl
I am, I am not my disease
I am, I am out of apologies
I am, I am, I am
I am, I am, I am
Coming clean

Sorry my needle pulls me away
Sorry I only call when I need to fix the pain
I am sorry no one I love could ever understand
I am sorry the darkness guides my hand
I bang my head
On an imaginary wall
I am on my knees
In an empty bathroom stall
I am, I am not your magazine
I am, I am out of apologies
I am, I am, I am
I am, I am, I am
Coming clean

When will this stain be gone?
I’m barely hanging on
To a thread of what I was
Do you hear me? Do you hear me? Do you see me?
I bang my head
On an imaginary wall
I twist the knife
Cause I wanna feel it all
I am, I am not what happened to me
I am, I am out of apologies
I bang my head
On an imaginary wall
I dig my nails
Into the floorboard as I crawl
I am, I am not here to please
I am, I am out of apologies
I am, I am, I am
I am, I am, I am
I am, I am, I am
I am, I am, I am… Clean

SIGNY are an electropop duo from Austin, Texas. Connect at: https://www.wearesigny.com

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