self improvement

Why Alone Doesn’t Have to Mean Lonely

People tend to confuse being alone with the loneliness, between which there is a relevant difference. To be alone means to be by one self. Even though we live in a society there is time in our life that we are totally alone and this is a completely normal state and should not cause any worry.

In opposition, to be lonely is to really suffer from being alone, to intensively crave contact with other human. Then you start to feel emptiness in your life. But it is for you to decide if being on your own makes you feel lonely or not! Why would you be sad of being by your own? If it happens to you, try to understand a few things:

1.Being alone give you absolute freedom

When you are alone you are open to change and you can welcome new opportunities with open arms. You don’t have to fit into sb’s else agenda, worry about sb’s else tastes or opinion. You are the lord of your own. Without giving explanations or disappoint anyone, you can just follow your rhythm and desires.

Choose what and how to do without counting with anyone else. You know yourself the best- what you want at the moment and how you want it. If you are not sure, instead of complaining, looking for disadvantages of being alone and asking why I am so lonley? , take some time and listen to yourself.

2.Being happy alone is a learnable skill.

In my opinion being alone is a virtue. Kind of skill we can develop in ourselves. We were born and grown up surrounded by other humans who took care of us (at least how it supposed to be). Since we become adults we were exposed to difficulties on our own. Solving them is a part of life, and no one really can help us to build our self-esteem and happy life, more than we can.

Look at hermits, monks or the religious gurus. All of them went through their spiritual path alone, making it a source of pride and their wisdom. Practice being alone on your own. Spend regularly some quality time just by yourself, and enjoy it. If going to a diner alone is too big for you, go for a coffee. Don’t think what other people thinks!

3. You have inside you everything what’s needed to be happy

Fortunately, when you feel will feel happy with yourself and have good self-esteem you will never feel lonely anymore. If you are not happy with yourself you won’t be happy even surrounded by many people or when you find a boyfriend. If you feel bad about yourself, you will use companion of the others to kind of  drown your bad thoughts.

Keep yourself busy, improve your skills and do activities which brings you happiness. Being happy alone is not influence by any external situation. You can be alone in a remote village, and feel happy just by contemplating nature and your own thoughts. At the same time, being surrounded by many people does not have to heal your pain.

4. Treat being alone as your own choice

There is no doubts that is better to be alone, than with somebody who annoys you every single moment. If you temporally don’t have someone to go hang out with, you still can do the same activities as you did! You don’t have anyone to go to visit this place you always wanted to travel to? No problem, go alone.

Be good to yourself and treat you as your best buddy. And when the others will see that you feel confident and glad about being alone, you will attract very interesting people!

You make your own choices in life and don’t let external circumstances to make you unhappy. There are times when you not necessarily can be with someone. It is for you to decide if you are going to enjoy being alone and take all the advantages of this situation or feel lonely.

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Marzena is a young writer who is passionate about psychology. She has visited over 40 countries and has lived in 4 of them, currently is located in Berlin. She loves to observe people and truly believes that it’s possible to learn a lesson from every experience and encounter in life. She shares her thoughts on Get-A-Wingman.com

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