5 Steps to Make the Law of Attraction Work for You


The law of attraction is simple: Like attracts like. Positivity attracts positivity – so if that’s what you’re after, a good place to start is within. We all get it. But there’s another level I’ve been hoping to address with my latest project, Wishbeads, now live on Kickstarter.

I knew a dancer once who would compete around the country. Whenever she did well, she would wear her competition wristband from the previous event until the next competition date, as a reminder to practice. “It helps me stay focused,” she told me..

The reality is that life tends to get us mired in obligations and habits – so whenever we want to really create a change or go for a major goal, we need and benefit from powerful reminders. Wishbeads is a jewelry-making kit that allow women to write their wishes and turn them into paper beads, so they are ever-present each day.

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But that’s just the beginning.

Once you’re clear on what you want, you have to stay focused. I also believe in the power of the law of attraction to inch and leap ahead – but how can you really “use” it, so it doesn’t just live out there like some existential concept or law? Let’s look at what it takes to put it into your life in the context of setting and achieving goals.

You can start by getting honest with yourself.

The dictionary defines “authenticity” as: The quality of being authentic. What is authentic? Something that is authentic is: real or genuine, not copied or false, and original. What’s authentic for you is different than what is authentic for another.

If you want to use the law of attraction in your favor, lying to yourself about whatever you want to attract – perhaps because you want to keep up with the neighbors you’re comparing yourself to, or you have some idea that if this relationship ends you’re unloveable, or you think you “need” this or that material thing to prove you’re successful – will not work. Inauthenticity creeps in slowly, and then leaves you in a spiral of striving for something you never really wanted in the first place.

The mirror of the world might confuse you – studies show that an angry or fearful face triggers the same emotion in another. But the science that supports the law of attraction (enter: mirror neurons) reminds us that you also get to be a mirror toward whatever you want. You’re surrounded by options – and you get to reflect back what you’re choosing.

The process for realizing any goal, dream or wish requires that you know what it is. Let’s look – what else needs to happen for you to wave your magic wand and cause results? Try these five steps.

Step 1: What do you really want? Look at yourself first and see if you can become aware of the ways your life and habits are or are not working for you. Take stock of how you are approaching or have approached that thing or goal before. Do away with any preconceived notions of how to get there or how long it will take, and just zoom in the camera lens of your heart and mind. What do you want? Be honest. Be authentic.

Step 2. Be imaginative. When was the last time you just sat still imaging what was possible? When was the last time you really visualized what you wanted and imagined what it would feel like, taste like, look like? Childhood goes on forever when we allow our imaginations to run wild. Give yourself the space and permission to wish. If you’re cynical inner voice tells you something negative, thank it for sharing and tell that little guy or gal to sit down. You’re bigger than every ordinary thought you have – and so is your imagination. Really make space for dreaming forward.

Step 3. Articulate and visualize with detail. In your ideal house, what color is the door? In your ideal career, how much free time do you have, how often do you travel? What kinds of people are around you – anyone specific? What will you really do once you’re debt-free? Once your company or idea gets off the ground – look for yourself at what other details will be to your left and right. A lack of specificity leaves one floundering in a sea of options, crippled by choice.

Boundaries actually create freedom – have you ever gone to a restaurant with a dietary limitation of some kind? It makes choosing that much easier. If I told you to paint anything, you might feel stuck. If I told you to make it 15 x 15 and only use red, blue and green – you’d suddenly have a world of options available that are much easier to choose from. The idea that specificity is limiting might be helpful in some other context – but in terms of writing down your goals, you want detail.

Step 4. Write it down. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said it best: “At the moment of commitment the entire universe conspires to assist you.” As soon as you are truly committed to your wish, give it a place to live – like on paper. It’s not alive in the world yet – but the ritual of writing it down can be a powerful exercise of focus and clarity. This is why vision boards are so popular (Pinterest for the win!). Make the picture clear for yourself.

I’m aware that “ritual” has an almost spiritual connotation – rituals are done with a soul-opening intentionality. I believe strongly in the power of writing down your plans and goals – it gives your authentic desires more opportunity to take form in the real world. And in the act of writing them, watch and see what opens up. Much like a songwriter shifts the pen from verse to verse and edits as they create – you will perhaps write and rewrite, and see new relationships between things on that page. Editing is good – it’s okay, and it’s part of the process.

This is where Wishbeads comes in. In less than 10 days of Kickstarter funding, women everywhere will be able to wear their wishes and goals as powerful reminders of what they’re actually out to achieve in the real world.

Step 5. Take meaningful action. The science shows that the area of the brain associated with intentions is closely connected to the areas associated with action – and they often fire up together. But intention doesn’t make the difference in the real world. Neither does thought or hopefulness – the impact in the physical realm comes from your physical actions.

Consider another law of the universe: linguistic phenomena can be altered by linguistic phenomena. As in, a conversation can be altered with a conversation. Yelling “move!” at a nearby chair or object won’t get it to go anywhere. But physical objects can be altered by other physical objects – and yes, that means you. Exert force and movement in the real world, and you’ll see your wishes come to fruition. Set deadlines for yourself (hint: deadlines are vital, they make your idea vital, and they’re important). Go for it with everything you’ve got.

To see an idea become physically real, when it never existed before, is proof of your power! To get how powerful you are, you must remember what you set out to achieve, focus and plan and write it down – and then act as much as possible. Honor your feelings, but whenever you feel down or stuck or disempowered, again tell your inner voice to be quiet, and ask yourself “what’s another action I can take?” to get where you’re going.

Your performance in the realm of “attraction” has much to do with being aware and attentive to how the world around you is supporting you, and seizing opportunities – but all of the real difference is made in the domain of action. In the words of the late, great Maya Angelou: “Nothing works unless you do.”

Ready to try Wishbeads? Get these beautiful jewelry kits to empower you in your goal-setting right now at Kickstarter! I can’t wait to see women everywhere engaging in creativity that adds meaning and intentionality to life, and empowers others to fulfill their desires, goals and wishes.



Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.

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