Questions Couples Should Ask Before a Relationship

5 Questions Couples Should Ask Before a Relationship (According to Experts)

Relationships can be hard sometimes. Imagine spending the rest of your life in a dull, motionless relationship with someone you can’t stand. Not cool, is it?

When you`re dating, there are lots of reason to take someone home. He`s slick, she`s hot, or you just want to fill the void made by someone else.

Regardless of the reasons, if you date the wrong person you`ll regret it, and it may be too late for it. For that, I`ve made you a list of the top five questions relationship experts believe you should ask before choosing your future wife or hubby. Here they are:

Relationship Question #1: Am I dating for fun or marriage?

“The most prominent dating mistake is to look for a fling instead of a long-term partner,” says Athol Kay, author of The Married Man Sex Life. Once things get serious, and the sex gets a little colder, you`ll begin to worry if your partner is husband/wife material.

Kay believes you should ask the “Is he/she the right person for me?” question early on before shit hits the fan. He recommends that you create a detailed image of your perfect partner. Once you know what you want, go out there and date only those who can come close to your ideal plan.

Want another opinion?

There`s a cool mathematic method you can use to find your perfect match. Matt Parker, the famous author, and mathematic communicator suggests you go out with ten people and pinpoint the one who has rocked your world the most.

And no, you won`t marry this person. You`ll compare him/her with any future date till you find someone who rocks your world even better —that`s your perfect match.

Relationship Question #2: Do they have a healthy relationship with their family?

“Never marry a man who hates his mother because he’ll end up hating you.”Jill Bennett

Ask yourself, “Do I want to be part of this family?” Says Virginia Gilbert, the  Los Angeles-based relationship expert. If it seems like “No,” then maybe you should reconsider your relationship.

Studies suggest that child-parent relationships affect the way we approach love and marriage. One study found that children who experienced high levels of family conflict — parents fighting, worrying about money, abuse, etc. — were likelier to get divorced as adults.

Other studies suggest that a man`s relationship with his mother affects his future affairs significantly: the weaker the bond, the messier his affairs will get.

Relationship Question #3: Am I ready to deal with their emotional baggage?

Everyone has their own baggage but at different intensity.

Wikipedia defines emotional baggage as the act carrying all the disappointments, wrongs, and trauma of the past around. This baggage has many reasons; parental divorce, infidelity, miscarriage, abusive relationships…etc.

Signs of prior emotional baggage can be:

  1. Projecting doubts: They are neither sure of themselves nor sure of you, they project doubts on others and are very quick to form harsh assumptions. They won`t fully trust you without the assistance of a good shrink.
  2. Compulsive habits: Over-smoking, eating, drinking, gambling are usually coping behaviors for unresolved emotional issues.
  3. Relationship failure: One failed relationship is never enough to judge a person, but a dozen of them is. A list of failed marriages and breakups can all be signs they won`t stay for the long haul.
  4. Being on an emotional rollercoaster: They`re unpredictable in a terrible way. One day they`re head over heels for you, the next they can`t even stand your face. Excess drama, overreacting and picking up fights out of nowhere are all signs of emotional instability.

Does this mean your partner must have zero baggage?  No, cause no one is 100 percent clean of baggage.

This is why  Jim Burns and Doug Fields authors of Getting Ready for Marriage Workbook, recommend that instead of saying, “How to marry someone with no emotional baggage?” you should ask yourself, “Am I prepared to deal with their baggage when they surface?”

Sometimes baggage is just the result of shockingly bad luck, but many times, it can be a sign of self-control or nag for making terrible decisions.

Even no baggage, according to Athol Kay, can say your partner never did anything memorable their whole life.

Relationship Question #4: How do we fight?

Arguments are part of every human interaction, but for some people, it can be hard to differentiate between verbal abuse and a normal argument.  The former will ruin your relationship.

The health of a marriage is measured by how clean both sides fight, according to the bestselling authors Alan Loy McGinnis and John Gottman. If your arguments tend to escalate very quickly, then that`s an issue to take seriously before moving forward with your relationship.

According to both experts, partners sooth each in healthy fights other and seek to share responsibility instead of criticizing, blaming, or maybe using hands.

Learn to argue like adults. If you, or your partner, don`t have enough patience or understanding to handle each other,  then you should call the whole thing off.

Relationship Question #5: Can they handle money?

Experts believe that how both of you handle cash is a serious deal maker/breaker in the relationships.

According to a study by Kansas State University, financial disagreements were the strongest disagreement types to predict divorce.

Another study by the University of North Carolina found that every $10k in student loans lowers marriage desirability by three or four percent.

Professor Terri Orbuch, the author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great, believes you should watch out of any debt problem your partner has, and discuss it with them.

“It`s okay for the partner who finds out about the other’s debt to ask questions, recognize whether it was a one-time situation or a general approach to money and if their partner is trying to fix the situation.” Says Orbuch.

If there`s no sign they`ll fix their financial dilemma, then you should leave before their money problems become yours.

 Marwan Jamal is a soccer-playing, food-loving, joke-cracking New York-based wellness writer. You can say hi to me here


Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.

49 Responses to 5 Questions Couples Should Ask Before a Relationship (According to Experts)

  1. William Hill says:

    Crazy pace of life, work, friends, gym, work again. How, at the same time, can everyone find time to get acquainted with a girl? Where to get to know her, what to speak, how to speak? So much energy is spent on all this, that many men simply hammer on it and live a quiet bachelor life However, there is one proven way to simplify everything – to get to know a girl on the Internet. Especially if you want to find mom, you should look for them only on dating sites free milf hookup sites !

  2. Valuable info. Lucky me I found your website by accident, and I am shocked why this accident didn’t happened earlier! I bookmarked it.

  3. josef green says:

    Hello! In my opinion, the best site I was advised by his friend, when I was single, nothing brought me joy, and there I found myself a girlfriend. There is a very user-friendly interface, and most importantly, most are looking for serious relationships. Although there were those who

  4. Stephenpep says:

    best place to buy viagra online buy viagra online is there a generic viagra

  5. JamesHib says:

    viagra prescription sildenafil viagra discount

  6. KevinUsaby says:

    how long does it take cialis to take effect buy cialis buy viagra cialis

  7. Wallyblula says:

    best ed treatment pills best ed solution pet meds without vet prescription canada

  8. Wallyblula says:

    best canadian pharmacy online reasons for ed ed pills that really work

  9. Stevendub says:

    viagra over the counter generic viagra online where can i buy viagra over the counter

  10. Stevendub says:

    when will viagra be generic cheap viagra viagra without a prescription

  11. Stevendub says:

    generic viagra online buy viagra from canada generic viagra names

  12. Stevendub says:

    mail order viagra canadian pharmacy viagra viagra pill

  13. Danielzef says:

    natural ed remedies generic viagra the best ed pills

  14. Danielzef says:

    buy prescription drugs online without ED Pills Without Doctor Prescription ed in men

  15. Danielzef says:

    treating ed cheap ed pills treatment for erectile dysfunction

  16. Danielzef says:

    erectial disfunction cheap ed pills buy prescription drugs without doctor

  17. Danielzef says:

    cheapest ed pills generic ed pills buy drug online

  18. NathanHoake says:

    cialis tolerance generic cialis for sale daily use of cialis

  19. NathanHoake says:

    does cialis lower your blood pressure cialis cialis 20 mg best price

  20. WilliamRox says:

    canadian drugstore online best canadian online pharmacy real cialis without a doctor’s prescription

  21. WilliamRox says:

    cheap pet meds without vet prescription canada ed drugs best ed pills that work

  22. Roberttop says:

    drugs from india india pharmacy

  23. Roberttop says:

    tadalafil online buy tadalafil

  24. Roberttop says:

    speedy cash payday loans online payday loans no credit check instant approval

  25. Hares Werev says:

    Good afternoon everyone, today I want to advise you just an excellent site for students who require a lot of help. I think that today I can just perfectly help you with this by advising write my essay fo me this is just an excellent service that will do all the work very quickly and efficiently

  26. Roberttop says:

    buy generic drugs from india buy generic drugs from canada medications

  27. CaseyWenep says:

    natural treatments for ed how much does viagra cost

  28. Rodneyalone says:

    where can i buy viagra over the counter buy viagra can you buy viagra over the counter

  29. Rodneyalone says:

    cialis prices cialis tadalafil free cialis medication for providers

  30. Rodneyalone says:

    canadien cialis cialis does viagra or cialis help with pe

  31. Rodneyalone says:

    buying viagra online viagra prices viagra prices

  32. Rodneyalone says:

    causes of ed online pharmacy canada ed problems treatment

  33. Rodneyalone says:

    best liquid cialis generic cialis cialis reps

  34. Rodneyalone says:

    viagra coupon viagra viagra prescription

  35. Rodneyalone says:

    no prescription viagra viagra pill viagra best over the counter viagra

  36. Rodneyalone says:

    how long does 20mg cialis keep in system cialis 30 mg cialis what happens

  37. EdwardLip says:

    ed dysfunction treatment: online ed medications prescription meds without the prescriptions

  38. EdwardLip says:

    ed for men: vacuum pumps for ed ed treatment review

  39. Richardscove says:

    cialis coupons printable buy cialis online free cialis medication for providers

  40. Richardscove says:

    generic zithromax india buy zithromax 1000mg online zithromax 250 mg pill

  41. Richardscove says:

    cialis lowest price the effects of cialis on women real cialis online with paypal

  42. Richardscove says:

    normal dose cialis cialis dosage 40 mg dangerous is generic cialis safe

  43. Richardscove says:

    mail order viagra viagra online canadian pharmacy cheapest viagra online

  44. Richardscove says:

    when is the best time to take cialis cialis side effects is generic cialis safe

  45. greyasanna greyasanna says:

    The popular dating site AshleyMadison is believed to offer singles more chances to get new acquaintances online. Here we took a starting over after divorce at 40 man closer look at the site’s options and services to find out the truth about AshleyMadison.

  46. I am only commenting to make you understand of the notable discovery my wife’s princess enjoyed viewing your webblog. Sex Doll Blog

  47. MAX6325CSA+T says:

    EIS Components is the stocking Distributor of MAX6325CSA+T, we specialize in Maxim Integrated all series electronic components. MAX6325CSA+T can be shipped within 24 hours after order. If you have any demands for MAX6325CSA+T, Please kindly submit an RFQ here or send us an email. We will reply you as soon as possible.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.