self improvement

The 2 Most Important Steps to Banish Negative Thoughts for Good

Have you ever gotten all excited about starting something new just to want to chuck it later?

When I wanted to paint a couple rooms in my house it seemed like an easy enough task. I’ve painted before. It really wasn’t a big deal. Although I was going to paint three times as many rooms this time around.

Picking out the color schemes and painting techniques got boring really quick, but I got through it.

After that I was still all excited about how fresh and new the rooms would look with different colors, along with the designs and accents I would add. I couldn’t wait for the completed results.

But the more and more I thought about it the more I started to think that I shouldn’t even bother. I mean they have professionals for this. I should just leave it to them. They could probably do it quicker and better.

It was crazy because at one point I was all happy like I could paint all these rooms in a flash. Then the next minute, the thought of doing one exhausted me. Even if I didn’t do the decorative painting techniques, just the prep work alone had me looking at it as a second job.

I know putting tape and covering stuff isn’t rocket science but I wanted it to come out perfect so the angles had to be right and consistent from one end to the next.

I was thinking I couldn’t do it, as simple as it was. My confidence was no longer at its peak. It just took a nose dive. At that point I didn’t even want to try.

If you approach all your projects or new things the way I did painting you’re not going to get anywhere.

The thought of making any changes in life will be nothing but a roller coaster of emotions. You’ll start off slow and neutral, then catapult up, dive down and just continue up and down, side to side until you finally decide to end it.

Reflecting on your goals shouldn’t make you feel sick afterward. And you definitely shouldn’t be talking yourself out of making progress.

Instead you should be motivating yourself to knock out any obstacles, not creating them in your mind.

How you think about something, which impacts how you feel about it, shapes the outcome and the process along the way.

It’s You

You’re not getting anywhere because you’re getting in your own way. You’re making it hard for yourself because you’re scared or you think it’s more than you can handle.

You haven’t even begun and you’re ready to quit. And who can blame you, your self-talk is beating you down from the inside out.

What seemed like a no brainer before is now giving you a migraine. Just the thought of it makes you want to run for the hills. Now it’s straining you mentally, it’s too much.

Just give it up all together, forget it, you don’t even want it anymore is basically how your body now responds to it.

You might even get yourself comfortable with the idea of not having it. When something seems too hard, you back pedal instead of moving forward like you planned.

The process of getting what you want shouldn’t discourage you from achieving it.

Why is this happening? It’s because you’re trying to do something new. Take something to the next level, something life changing. You’re scared out of your mind. You want it but its unchartered territory for you.

I know painting a few rooms in a house hardly seems life changing. But I was making my house my own, making it more comfortable and aesthetically pleasing to me. Which was kind of a big deal since it was completely new for me.

I Changed My Mind

Even though I didn’t want to do it, I pushed myself into starting the first room. Before I was done with the first wall I wanted to throw in the brush. It was boring, tedious and there were already paint speckles on the carpet.

But I wanted to freshen up the room and I knew this was the way to do it. I took a breather and continued painting the next day.

Once I got to the second wall it actually wasn’t too bad anymore. Nothing had really changed. I was still painting the same thing and the same way as before. But I did make one tweak, and you can too.

You have to change the way you think about it. That’s where positive thinking comes in.

I started off in the right mental space, I was super excited. But then I started doubting myself, letting negativity take over. The closer I got to doing it the more I thought I didn’t have the endurance and skill to pull it off.

Once you begin to start thinking about it in the right manner things will become easier.

Issues that previously had you mind boggled will all of a sudden become flooded with creative solutions. And they’ll all be coming from you.

Nothing else will have to change, just your mind. You’ll magically see loopholes that weren’t visible before and come up with things you couldn’t imagine prior.

Your dreams will seem more like goals because you will finally be in a place mentally where you can put everything together and make them happen.

From Negative to Positive in Two Steps

1. Discount negativity

When something negative comes up in your mind, attack it with positivity. Think about how things would turn out if the opposite outcome were to occur. In most instances you have a 50/50 chance, so why not focus on the side that would benefit you.

Respond to the negativity with answers that prove it to be wrong, that suggest it could work out in your favor.

2. Affirm it

Affirmations are a good way to positively convert your thought process and remind yourself of your abilities.

Recite them to yourself for a quick and simple pep talk. It’s an easy way to get your head back in the game.

Soon enough you’ll get to the point where you don’t need to say it. You’ll just act accordingly without prompting.

Staying confident and positive can be hard when you’re scaring yourself. The way you talk to yourself and how you think about your goals affects your level of motivation.

You need to make sure you’re in the right space and can combat any negative that comes along, whether it is from you or your environment. This simple two-step process will keep you armed and ready for action.

When was the last time you talked yourself out of something?

When you talk to yourself or think about trying something new, is it coming from a positive or negative place?


Lea Bullen is a certified life coach who is lifehack obsessed. Don’t let negativity stop you anymore, you can live the positive life you always imagined when you know exactly what you want and how to achieve it. Head over to her site now to take the eye-opening Redesign Your Life course to do just that!



Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.