Before you open another door, follow this three-step process:  Stop. Pause. Enter. It might take an extra 10 seconds, but doing this will help you become more conscious of your objectives and help you connect with your spouse, children, boss, mother-in-law, or whomever.

If you’re like me, you have a thousand things you’re thinking about and commitments you’re juggling. You’re probably bouncing from one thing to another, trying to keep it all together. You might feel overwhelmed, overworked, and mentally exhausted. You also might spend a good deal of your mental energy focused on the future — wondering how you should reply to that email from your nosy colleague, thinking about your grocery list, or even daydreaming about your upcoming vacation.

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If you are like me, no one ever sat you down and instructed you on how to choose a life partner.  Yet, this is one of the most critical decisions we will ever make in life – with potentially huge repercussions for a less-than-ideal choice.  A long-term relationship can be one of the most joyous and fulfilling experiences life has to offer.  Although you may not have learned it from your mother, here is what you need to know to choose the life partner who is right for you.

Consider qualities that are important to you

First, become familiar with the qualities that you desire in a partner.  It doesn’t matter what they are – what matters is that you are consciously aware of what is important to you.  Take some time to reflect, write a list if it helps you, and keep at it until you are clear about what you want.  Two qualities you might seriously consider are honesty and openness/flexibility.  You need to be able to trust your partner to be straight up with you – about money, preferences, things they are doing, people they are spending time with.  In addition, you will want to choose someone who is open to examining themselves, willing to take responsibility for their own behavior, and able to move with the ebbs and flows of life.

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There’s one crucial relationship in your life that I’m pretty sure you’re neglecting. And if you’re one of those people who gives a lot of themselves to others and always drops everything to give a friend a hand, you’re definitely neglecting it. Nope, it’s not your relationship with your partner, your mom, or even your kids. Important as those are, this is even more crucial. It’s a relationship I can guarantee you’ll have from the day you’re born till the day you die.

It’s your relationship with yourself.

So often, the one person in life who we criticise, judge, condemn and ignore is ourself. We decide that our needs don’t matter. If everyone else in our life walked out, this one relationship would be all we had left. And when we disregard our relationship with ourself, all other aspects of our life suffer: however hard we strive for success, things will always feel empty.

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Charisma can help you in many aspects of life.  It can help you win friends, be popular with the opposite sex, and even land that new exciting job.  There is almost nothing that charisma can’t help you achieve.  For some, it is very natural to be charismatic.  They just seem to have that ‘X-Factor’.  However it is comforting to know that charisma can also be developed.  Here are 4 top methods to help boost your charisma…

1. Have goals you are working towards

There are a lot more followers than leaders, so if you want to stand out then be a trailblazer.  There is nothing wrong with being a follower, but people are naturally drawn to leaders.  Set yourself goals to work to.  Have a sense of purpose and a vision – a big goal that you are working towards.  You may or may not succeed to meet your goal, or it might change over time, but if you always have one, people will naturally feel drawn to you as you present the possibility of an exciting future.

Don’t simply pretend to have a goal as people will quickly see through you and you will lose all credibility.  In any case it is far more satisfying to spend life attempting to meet realistic goals.

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Do you always think the best of people – or do you think the worst? It’s so easy to make assumptions and to find ourselves falling into a judgmental or critical frame of mind – both about people we know well (like family members) and about complete strangers.

So why worry about changing your thoughts? So long as you don’t go around being verbally or physically abusive towards others, what does it matter what you think of them?

The danger of letting yourself think angrily or negatively about others is that the thoughts tend to rebound on you: your internal voice will start to be more self-critical. Plus, your relationships will suffer; perhaps you won’t make contact with a potential new friend, just because you had a bad first impression, or you might find yourself unable to patch up a tricky relationship with a colleague.

To top it all off, you’re likely to feel a lot more stressed and unhappy if you believe that others are deliberately out to irritate you or to cause you grief.

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