feeling insecure

5 Things You Need To Stop Comparing

Are you currently indulging in this very ironic activity where you constantly think of other people and their lives instead of your own?

That sounds kind of far out, but a lot of us suffer from it.

We constantly compare ourselves with others.

We think about our own jobs, and then others’, seeing who has the cooler title.

We think about money and see who has more of it.

We look at others’ lives, and forget about our own

In this modern society where we’re constantly in a race, many material things control our lives.

It is a necessity to have said material things, but simply chasing it for yourself and then wondering how others do not do you any good.

That’s how it becomes a rat race, where survival of the fittest becomes the most prominent rule.

Let’s get out of the race for a change.

Life isn’t a race. Life is about fulfillment and finding happiness from within to achieve your ultimate destiny.

It isn’t easy, but you can start by stop comparing about the following things.

5 things you need to stop comparing

1) Your own situation at hand

Are you constantly wondering, “Dang, I wish I was at the bar now” or “I sure wish I was watching the game now”?

Wish all you like, but what you’re actually doing is comparing your situation at hand with an unreachable state.

Continue with this comparison, and you’re just going to increase your boredom or even make you dread what you’re doing.

It simply cannot be helped if you stuck at work or well, just doing something else!

Think about it: If you’re washing the dishes, you’d definitely, without a doubt want to be somewhere else (unless you really love washing dishes).

Is there a point thinking about it? Not really.

Be present at your moment instead. Quiet your mind. Eliminate distractions. Get the work done and be on your way!

2) Money

We all want money. We need it even. It’s easy to compare with others who has more of it and see who is rich.

But let me be another writer who would gladly remind you this: Money does not buy happiness.

All the tangible goods or buy-able experiences can’t ever bring joy.

I’ve met a ton of rich people who’re constantly buying a bunch of expensive stuff simply to attract attention. Why? Because they’re attempting to buy real friendship.

Of course, that doesn’t work.

Money is important, but try not to chase it. It will come to you as long as you’re happy and doing what you love. Treasure the other awesome things you have in life too, like friends, family and a shelter to shield you from the elements.

3) Jobs

Who has the lucrative job wins eh? In this competition, whoever has the nicest looking office or important title earns the most points.

But that’s not what jobs should be about.

You probably have friends who are working some high-paying job and are given important responsibilities. That’s okay, but it’s a danger when you simply conclude they’re better than you.

Don’t do that.

Whenever I hear about a friend like that, I always ask how many hours they have to put in a week and whether they’re ultimately happy.

More often than not, they work ridiculously long hours and are too tired to even spend the money they earn. They end up splurging on a really expensive single thing to make up for it.

Don’t worry about what jobs others are working in. Find a job you’re really passionate about instead, and you don’t even have to work a day of your life.

Can’t find a job based on what you love? Then work a job that covers your basic needs and use your time for your passions.

That’s living life. Life is too short to be working everyday.

4) Popularity

I’m sure you’ve come across that one popular guy or girl who’s constantly surrounded by friends. People always want to hang out with them and thus, they’re popular.

Does this make you feel alone or even socially inadequate? Nah. Don’t be.

“Popular” people only look popular because of the number of people around them.

What matters most is the quality of the relationship the person has with his or her “friends”.

People who actually see a need to show that they have friends are actually very insecure. They think they aren’t good enough by their lonesome and need others to validate them, mostly on superficial things like looks, or money.

It then becomes a vicious cycle as they try to “buy” new friends. Sooner or later, the relationship doesn’t last at all.

Don’t compare on popularity. Forge your own real friendships and stick to them, through thick or thin. These are the friendships which are going to last and guess what? A few, like less than five good friends is already plenty.

Be willing to give yourself your own private time too because it’s alright to be alone. You can indulge in your passion or simply meditate to learn more things about yourself.

Besides, think about it: Why would you need so many friends? You aren’t trying to garner votes to be the next prom king or queen anymore.

5) Life in general

This is the ultimate one.

When you want something, or when you feel your life isn’t going the way you want it, you just wish you were (someone).

Well, it’s too bad we can’t switch bodies and live each other’s lives.

This is life. Your life.

And your life consists of your own special individualism and unique experiences, both of which combine to create your special memories. They’re what forms (insert your name).

There’s only one of you amongst the seven billion plus people in the world and no one can ever take away this privilege from you.

Maybe life feels tough and you feel like you’re dealt a shorter hand, but it’s all done so as to create your life.

So be patient. If you use any of the above things to overwhelm your life and replace the voids, you’re just slowing down yourself.

You’re bound for great things. Have faith in yourself. Do what you love. Have fun with life and be happy. Your greatness will come.

Never compare.

Just for Pick the Brain readers

If you reach to the end of this article, that’s awesome!

I just wanted to tell you about a free book I wrote about how you can START getting inspired. It’s all in here, the Revival Kit.

- How to find passion

- Gain confidence to do what you love

- Learn how to stop caring about what others think.

This free book is only available through this link to Alden-Tan. Check it out!

Bio:

Alden Tan keeps it real at his blog and writes about motivation in unconventional ways. He tells it like it is, to heart of the matter. Check out his free report, Revive Your Life on “waking up” in life to start doing what you love.

Photo credit

  • Guest

    Wow! I simply love everything what has been said here in the article. Actually, it really got me! Thanks for this. I’ll try to stop comparing myself to others. :D

    • Alden Tan

      Glad it helped! Share the love!

  • ma.dativa ampoloquio

    Hi Alden, its awesome !thanks for sharing your story and helping others find their passions and live a life that they ever dreamed of.keep it up and God bless you.

    • Alden Tan

      Thanks for dropping by!

  • hollydaze

    it’s so easy to list and say but difficult to do. For me I know not to compare, sometimes I just can’t help it

    • Alden Tan

      Try… Just try….

      Let it be the difference you make in your life. Let it be the milestone you hope for.

      There will be change.

      • Rohit

        it sometimes isn’t possible, i know that two people would have been through different circumstances and reached where they are and so on, but sometimes its just not possible not to compare. Job (promotions) and Money are the most common attributes for comparison

  • Bethany @ Journey to Ithaca

    Good article. I’ve found, through my writing and sharing, that we are incorrect in our assumptions that everyone else has it better, has it all together, etc.

    Comparing is such a waste of energy, and it puts walls between relationships, when what we really need to do is drop the facades and be real with each other. Life is complicated and sometimes difficult for all of us.

  • http://cashwithatrueconscience.com/rbblog Ryan Biddulph

    Looking around here in India Alden has helped me stop complaining. I see suffering animals and people, dying, and I become grateful. Looking around and seeing how much of the world lives, through travel or the TV, provides you with an amazing wake-up call. Power stuff buddy, and as an FYI I shot you an email back a few days ago.

    Ryan

  • Piers

    “Comparisons are odious, its all the same” Jack Kerouac, The Dharma Bums

  • http://www.suzieqsolutions.com/ Suzanne Jones

    When we embrace our own gifts, and we all have them, there is no need to compare.

  • Joanna Jot

    great article :)

  • Brindha

    Well said..This post made my day!! I always compare myself with others..No matter How hard I tried getting out of these thoughts, I always find myself where i started…This simple explanation with experience is going to be my guide from now on…. Thanks a lot for this wonderful article!

  • The Truth

    The truth is, success may never find you. Your job, not matter how much you love it, may never bring you financial wealth. Your friends may not even stick by you. Life is unpredictable but the people who are busy being successful aren’t on this blog trying to figure out how to stop comparing themselves to others…they’re busy being successful. Even if that means working extra hard! Because it deceptive to tell ourselves that we’re better off when we’re secretly pining away at their lives. The truth is, success comes to those who work for it. Not those who build a comfortable bubble and wait…and wait patiently as they watch others. If comparison is to serve any useful purpose, use it to motivate you, not to justify any complacency! That’s the truth. And i wish someone had shaken it into me years ago!