Why You Need to Learn to Be Outcome Independent

Why You Need to be Outcome Independent

Just as it sounds, outcome independence is learning to be independent of the outcome of a situation, whether that situation is a date, a job interview, or a request for help. Doing so helps you to learn that the Universe is abundant. Too often, we worry about the outcome because we have a scarcity mentality. We worry that if we miss our chance that another one will be a long time in coming.

By learning outcome independence, you also accept that you will encounter rejection and failure on your path towards success. You accept that sometimes plans go another way. More importantly, be flexible in adapting to the situation and learn from those mistakes. Over time, you also learn to view every challenge as an opportunity. Acceptance of an unpleasant situation helps you to rebound from that failure and continue moving on much faster.

Accept that Failure and Rejection Are a Part of Life

You have backup plans if you date flakes on you. You examine the last, failed job interview to investigate where you dropped the ball, learning from your experience. You have plenty of other friends who will jump in to help you if the first person you asked cannot help you. In other words, you are a person full of options. You treat detours to your life as adventures.

So then, a big part of learning to become outcome independence is to accept that failure and rejection are good things. It also teaches us that at times a situation is out of our control. Being risk adverse prevents you from taking any action towards accomplishing your goals. Accepting that failure and rejection are good things means that freeing yourself from the victim mentality, wherein instead of blaming others for your past and present mistakes and conditions, you now accept that you—and you alone—are solely responsible for the crap that happens in your life.

Freeing Yourself From the Victim Mentality

Only when you free yourself from the victim mentality will you start taking the initiative and accountability towards affecting the positive changes you want to see. This also means letting go of part mistakes and regrets rather than continuing to use them as excuses on why you cannot take action towards securing the future you so desire. To let go of these past mistakes you will need to learn how to forgive others that you felt may have been responsible. More importantly, you must learn how to forgive yourself as we are often our own harshest critics.

Visualize and Minimize Its Sting

The sting of failure and rejection is oftentimes too hard for us to bear but it is often only us blowing things out of proportion. Visualization techniques with all 5 senses engaged will help you to diminish that sting. Find a quiet place and run through a new scenario in your head. Visualize the interaction going badly and that you are about to fail. Find cases from your past to help build up that emotional roller coaster you are about to ride. Experience the failure and the rejection. Likewise, you might try journaling if writing is more your thing. Now, was it really as bad as you thought? Even if it is, doing this exercise will help inoculate you against future stress in a similar situation!

Deliberately Fail!

You might also try to deliberately fail and get rejected on purpose with the little things in real life, so that you build up a tolerance and a thicker skin towards the big things. For instance, you might ask a stranger to borrow his cell phone or for spare change, knowing full well that most people will be hesitant. Experience that rejection and you will find that it in actuality it is only as bad as your mind makes it out to be.

You Will Be Free!

Ultimately, learning outcome independence will free you from your past demons and to help you start chasing after your dreams, which in turn helps you to realize that the world is an abundant place. It will also help remove a lot of the stress and pressure you would have normally felt in the past in trying to affect a situation to your desired outcome. As that saying goes, “What would you accomplish if you know that you cannot fail?”

If you want to learn more about living an fulfilled, inspired, and happy life, be sure to visit ManSpirational.com. While you’re there, sign up for my newsletter and receive my free eBook, 14 Ways to Boost Your Confidence.


Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.

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