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How to Defeat Your Inner Jerk

The inner jerk is the anti-conscience of your thought process. It is the tiny voice inside your brain that says, “you’re not good enough. You’re not pretty enough. No, you can’t do that. You’re a loser. You’ll never amount to anything.” Sometimes it makes a home inside of your brain. It might even be the kind of jerk who makes frequent visits to your thoughts.

We all have an inner jerk that feeds us negative thoughts about us, but we don’t have to listen to its nasty comments. There is a way to defeat the inner jerk within ourselves.

1. Establish a Goal

Set your sites on a goal, something you want to accomplish in your life. Envision yourself achieving this goal and enjoying the rewards of your success. This will inspire you to work towards meeting that goal and it will also give you hope. At the same time, be open minded and be realistic about things. The path to success is a rocky path and you need to be prepared and fully equipped for the trip. There will be times when you will stumble and fall. But, don’t look at your falls as failures. Learn from the mistakes you made and establish a guideline on what you plan to do differently in the future. You learn and grow from your failures and you become a stronger person. Most importantly, always keep your eye on the prize. When you are focused and committed to the pursuit of your goal, you give your inner jerk no chance to hurl insults at you.

2. Get Involved

Involve yourself in social groups and/or professional organizations, like Toastmasters, your local theatre community, a book club, or any leisurely activity you enjoy doing when you’re not working. When you get involved in any activity, you give yourself the chance to develop a new skill and to meet like-minded people. That is how lasting friendships form. Also, your confidence builds up when you learn a new skill.

3. Surround Yourself With a Network of Supportive Friends

Choose your friends wisely. Surround yourself with people who are trustworthy, positive, encouraging and open-minded. Avoid people who are pessimistic, overly competitive, jealous and superficial. These people will only bring you down, not build you up.

4. Establish Healthy Boundaries

In a world where negativity prevails, you must have a good intuition. Know when to say NO to people who try to take advantage of your kindness and know when to give in to those who genuinely need a helping hand.




5. Believe in the Power of Prayer


At some point in our lives we all face obstacles that seem insurmountable and instinctively, we know that we cannot overcome them alone. Perhaps you have to deal with a very self-centered, domineering co-worker, a lover who has decided to break up with you, or maybe you’re a newly published author who has no support from your publisher’s marketing department. In hard situations like these, it is easy to become confused and depressed because they are beyond your control.

While you cannot control what life gives you, you can seek out guidance to steer you in the right direction. You don’t have to be a Christian to pray. There is a loving God who knows you and the situation you are in and He only wants the best for you. If you seek Him, He will provide guidance. At the same time, God does give us free will. Therefore, He requires you to meet Him half way. With His help, you can take control of your situation and can make important decisions that will redirect your life on the right path.

With strength from above, you will be strong enough to repel the voice inside of your head that tries to put you down.

If you take all five of these steps, you will become a well-grounded, happy person. Why? You will know yourself as an individual, what you want in life, where you belong in this world and you will have a purpose. So, if your inner jerk decides to tell you otherwise, you can tell it, in a strong voice, to go away and never return.


Deanna Proach is the author of two novels. Her first novel, ‘Day of Revenge’ is a historical suspense that is set in revolutionary France. Her second novel, titled ‘To be Maria’ is a contemporary YA suspense.

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