The end of a relationship can be an extremely difficult time no matter what, but when you get dumped—the emotional wounds are usually much deeper and more painful.
If you’re having trouble figuring out how to get over being dumped, specific beliefs and insecurities are most likely your biggest obstacle.
It takes some people far too long to figure out how to get over being dumped.
Make sure you’re not one of these people. The path to being happy without your ex involves a few steps.
1) Gain and apply deeper self-knowledge by understanding the reasons you’re upset.
Are you beating yourself up, thinking of everything you should have done differently?
If you are doing this or assuming that you were just not good enough, therefore you were dumped, you need to reassess the situation.
It’s their loss, isn’t it?
If you find it extremely difficult to get rid of this sort of thinking–you probably have a deeper issue with self esteem that should be addressed.
It’s virtually impossible to be dumped and not to experience some degree of insecurity.
Just because it’s a normal reaction to rejection of this nature doesn’t mean it’s logical or healthy.
To avoid going any further down this self-deprecating road, you need to replace emotion with logic when you find yourself dwelling on these insecurities.
If there was ever a great time to take your ex off that pedestal you’ve had them on, it’s now.
Not only should you take the fault off of your shoulders, you should consider that there are countless reasons for being dumped that might have nothing to do with you.
Your ex might have issues with commitment and it might have been getting too serious for them, and you could’ve been anyone–it still wouldn’t have worked out.
Like many people, they might have unrealistic expectations for their partner and you, being human, didn’t quite measure up.
Along these lines, they might also have expectations that they don’t even consciously realize.
For instance, a lot of people are attracted to someone with the same hair color as their opposite sex parent.
You can’t control this. Your ex might even have self esteem issues of their own and feel they need to find a specific type of person in order to compensate for their faults.
2) Understand “The One” concept
Are you most upset because they were “the one”? Well, time for a reality check; use logic to decide what the odds are that this one person was your soulmate and you’ll never find anyone who makes you that happy again.
Just in case you’re not great with statistics–the odds are very low.
Was this the first time you thought you found the one? If not, there’s your answer, you can always find someone new.
This break-up could be a good thing; you might find someone who is more compatible with you.
If you don’t live under a rock, you’ve heard this concept (The One/Soulmate). The media especially plays on our emotions by exploiting this concept.
It’s almost impossible not to buy into the theory of a soulmate in the world we live in.
There are billions of people in this world and you are much more likely to have several people that you could have a wonderful relationship with than just one.
The odds that only one in billions of people is, not only right, but meant for you, reveals the flaw in this theory.
Some aspects of a soulmate of the one theory are appealing and romantic and perhaps you don’t want to give that up.
Even if you believe in the one, it doesn’t mean that this person was the one. If they were, wouldn’t you both have fought harder?
Reflect on the books you’ve read, movies you’ve seen that exploit this theory, do they just let each other go without giving it their all?
No, and your ex wouldn’t have dumped you if they were meant for you.
3) Recognize the perks of being single again –
Do not let yourself fall into another relationship quickly because you’d rather any relationship to being and staying single for a while.
Thinking and acting this way is seriously detrimental in the long term.
With self confidence, you’ll be able to be happy without having a significant other.
After all, it doesn’t make sense to expect someone to be happy with you if YOU can’t even be happy with you.
This is quite possibly the most important skill to have in order to wind up in a happy relationship.
When you are constantly settling, and entering relationships lightheartedly, it leaves no time to find the RIGHT person.
Sure, you’ll be in a relationship most of the time, but they aren’t likely to work out and it would be sheer luck if you actually found yourself in a relationship that was a healthy and happy one.
If you’re interested in long-term happiness with a partner, do yourself a favor and learn how to be to single for awhile.
Learning how to get over being dumped can look like an uphill battle, which it often is, but it’s worth every minute.
Following this guide will bring about even more positive changes than you’d aimed for when done correctly.
Not only will you be able to make the transition to singlehood with less pain, but you will be happier in the long term.
About The Author:
Alex J. Stevenson is founder of http://howtogetoveryourex101.com/ and the creator of the training material ‘The Master Training Kit: How to Get Over Your Ex In 14 Days’. If you are feeling down right now, visit his site for your Free report.
How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.