Having an inferiority complex is like having recorder playing the same thing over and over in your head. Nobody is perfect that’s for sure! So many of us strive for perfection every day and yet it is difficult to quiet the voices in our head that haunt us about how inferior we are. You know what I mean. “He’s so handsome; he would never go out with a girl like me.” “I’ll never get that job; I’m just not smart enough.” “I’ll never drop this weight, I’ve tried everything and nothing works.”
However, if you don’t have the talents, skills or drive that you need to accomplish what it is you want, then you are only feeding the inferiority complex fuel to keep that recorder playing on autopilot whether you like it or not. Maybe it’s time for a change!
You developed your inferiority complex at some point in your past. There was a defining moment when it occurred. It could have been something that someone said. Perhaps you looked up to someone who was achieving what you wanted but you didn’t have the strategies in place and instead of making a change; you simply began bashing yourself over it. What’s the solution?
You might think you need to do a few more affirmations or go get hypnotized or worse yet, give up on your dreams all together as an answer. No, these aren’t good solutions. I can tell you that in order to get rid of your inferiority complex that you have been carrying around with you for what seems like a lifetime, you’ll need to start with two things. Yes, pretty simple right? I said simple but I didn’t say it would be easy. The first component is DECISION and the second is INTENTION. When you put these two things together, it’s like TNT! You must decide right here and right now that you will stop the negative talk. You need to have a greater intention to banish your inferiority complex forever! This is just a start though, you’ll need more ammunition So let’s get to it!.
The good news is that once you begin this process and put solid actionable strategies into place, you’ll really be unstoppable! But how? How to stop putting yourself down when it is a habit that you practice on a daily basis?
Below are strategies to get you on the right track to help you conquer your inferiority complex. Get serious though, you will never change your life if you don’t begin by changing your behavior. Don’t simply read this then move on, implement these strategies right away.
1 – Audit your life circle: First things first. You need to establish what is working and what is not working. If your career is going great but you are lacking confidence in the relationship area because you need to improve something, it’s time to be real and make some changes. Maybe you need to learn how to be a better communicator or listener. It’s up to you to discover what you need to change in any one part of your life to improve it and feel better about it in the long run.
2 – Replace negative words you say. It might be true that you’re clumsy, overweight, or uneducated. Nevertheless, that hardly suggests that you’re unintelligent or that you can’t be kinder to yourself. Make list of how you put yourself down and find a different, more positive way of saying it. You could say “I should practice being more graceful.” “I am glad that I am working towards being healthier by working out and eating better.” Also, make a list of your characteristics that make you feel inferior.
- Think of who around you makes you feel inferior. Successful people? Your co-worker, Your partner? In what ways do these people make you feel inferior? Can you gain a new skill that could make you feel better about yourself?
3 – Inferiority complexes may come from your inner desire to be like someone else. It’s a fantastic idea to have positive role models, someone who you can look up to or someone to learn strategies from. Avoid trying to be like them however, you’re likely to lose your individuality. You can’t impersonate someone else while being authentic to who you are in your soul.
- Analyze what aspects of this person whom you admire and take the positive aspect to incorporate. Never try comparing yourself with them at any point. You are you.
4 – Throw the baby out with the bath water. Believing that one of your flaws is the root to all of your life’s challenges is dangerous. This is far more common than we realize in our society. Remember, all of your problems won’t be solved once you lose those extra pounds or get married.
5 – Consider what will stop you from feeling inferior. Are you feeling inferior because you’re short? This is a situation that is not under your control. Analyze what you feel inferior about for a moment. Is overcoming this flaw within your control?
- Visualize how it would feel to have this new characteristic that you believe will make you a better person. Does it feel natural? Do you feel as if you’re pretending to be someone else? Does it feel within the realm of possibilities with time or perhaps gaining a new skill? Redefine and clarify your vision until you feel comfortable in it. Be patient.
6 – This is my favorite: Have a friend list your best qualities. It’s so much easier to have someone else look at your best qualities. You already know them but it feels great to have someone confirm them. This is a confidence boost! You may not have an accurate opinion of yourself, but a good friend could list your strengths. I like to pick their brain and ask for examples. It’s hard to believe someone sometimes so really delving into the nitty gritty is very helpful.
7 – Everyone needs a victory. It doesn’t matter what age you are, you need to focus on your wins; big or small. The great leaders of our world practice this every day and so should you! Getting to the gym, packing a healthy lunch or remembering to stay in touch with an old friend who needs encouragement are worthy accomplishments. We all fall down but it’s those you get back up are the successful ones. The truth is I bet you’re doing better than you think.
8 – It’s not all about you. We go through our day thinking that everyone knows our shortcomings; this is how inferiority becomes rooted in our minds. Most people in your circle don’t know that you’re a bit messy and more than likely they’re so wrapped up in their own flaws to even give yours a consideration. The truth is that most people aren’t thinking about you at all.
- It’s easy to prove to yourself. Next time you’re talking to your friends or family, notice how they are always complaining about something in their life. It’s not your flaws that is the topic of conversation. You’re much freer than you realize.
Feeling inferior is nothing new in our world. There is always someone whom is doing better than us. I bet you’re doing better in some way than someone else, aren’t you? Never allow your inferiority to someone get in your way to achieving success. Instead use it as a tool to drive yourself to be better and go out in the world and get what it is you want.
Conquering your inferiority complex is all about your ability to focus on your strengths, re-frame your self-talk, and keep in the front of your mind that no one is really watching anyway. That’s the bottom line. You can let go of your inferiority complex now with real strategies that will help you breathe a sigh of relief as well as a new level of confidence and freedom. Now, let’s continue the conversation and leave your comments below.
About the author: Life Coach and Strategic Interventionist, Sharon Koenig is an author, entrepreneur and champion athlete. She has overcome adversity and now empowers and coaches others to move beyond their fears and limitations to reach their fullest potential in life and business. As a gift to you, she is sharing her “Success Toolkit” for FREE! Visit www.FearlessPursuits.com.