Isn’t it interesting how everyone wants success, but when an opportunity comes, many of us come up with excuses?
It isn’t that we don’t want success. It’s just that we often let ourselves get in the way of our own successes.
The truth is: reality is more difficult than simply dreaming about achieving something.
Obstacles come up, and life can sometimes throw unexpected curveballs that are difficult to navigate through. As a result, we might tell ourselves that we just don’t have what it takes.
Yes, it’s painful to fail at something. Whether you’re rejected by someone, don’t get the job you want, or feel like you’re falling behind everyone else, over time you tell yourself, “Why bother?”
And why should you bother?
Because, before you get good at something, you need to fail. Fail often.
If you aren’t failing enough, you aren’t pushing yourself enough.
So see if any of these 4 fears are keeping you from achieving your goals and confront them.
1. Fear of failure
You might be avoiding failure without realizing it. For example, do you catch yourself telling yourself any of the following?:
- “It’s okay if I don’t reach [x goal].”
- “She might be able to do it, but not me.”
- “Someday, I’ll do [x accomplishment]”
Listen carefully to the phrases you tell yourself. You might be talking yourself out of doing something without realizing it.
Once you notice this, I challenge you to revisit the way you see failure.
When you try something and it doesn’t work, don’t tell yourself that you failed. Instead, see it as a learning lesson.
Over time, you’ll get better at identifying your mistakes and know what to do next time.
2. Fear of letting go
Sometimes, we want to hold onto something. It could be a memory from the past, a loved one, or a place we’re familiar with.
While familiar things are comfortable, they can keep us from moving forward in our lives.
I recently saw a show in which a man, whose parents have long passed away, continues to run their restaurant. The restaurant hasn’t been doing well lately, but he insists on doing everything the same way in order to preserve his memories of his parents.
At the risk of the restaurant going out of business, he refuses to change or take others’ suggestions.
While we shouldn’t forget events or people in the past, it’s important to acknowledge that we need to embrace change to make progress and improve ourselves.
Know what is best for you in the present.
3. Fear of success
We hear about the fear of failing all the time. But what about fear of success?
It’s just as real as the fear of failure.
You might worry about what will happen something down the road. You wonder how you’ll manage certain situations, deal with various people, or have enough time for yourself.
This happened to me when I launched my blog. While I was excited, I was also worried about how I would deal with different scenarios. I worried about being overwhelmed and what I would do if I made it to a certain level.
I was planning for all these things that didn’t even happen yet, or were far off in the future. It was unrealistic of me to do so, but I couldn’t help it.
But I found a way to manage my fears.
What I did was this:
I acknowledged that the issues I thought about could happen in the future. For now, though, I didn’t have to worry about them. I would deal with them when the time came.
So if you’re just starting something, don’t think about what you need to do at step 10. Just decide how to get past step 1, and know that you’ll find a way to deal with the later steps.
4. Fear of wasting time.
A reader sent me an email about whether or not to change careers, and said “I’m afraid that time is passing me by.”
I hear this phrase quite often, and I think it’s a big factor in whether or not we decide to pursue something.
After all, time spent pursuing one career means less time on something else. It means we need to decide what’s the best way to spend our time.
Instead of asking yourself whether or not you should pursue a goal, try asking yourself: What if I don’t do this? Would I regret it?
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I look forward to sharing my secrets with you!