Everyone writes about how to be happy and successful. There aren’t many guidelines on how to ruin your life, though. It is not a secret that it is not other people or circumstances that make us miserable, but we ourselves. Not everyone can accept that, because no one likes to take the blame. And the following are the things we do that make us unhappy. If you want to be miserable, here is the guide for you.
That’s what some people do best. “Why did it happen to me?”, “Why didn’t I get this job?”, “Why didn’t he ask me out?”, etc. A list of similar complaints can go forever. People always complain about something. If it is not government, it is the weather. It hasn’t been snowing for a long time – where is winter? There is lots of snow that stays in spring – when will this winter go away? Every situation can be unfavorable if you make it this way. Let’s agree that we sooner and more often find negative moments in a situation than positive ones.
What to do? Try to find positive or at least neutral sides in every situation. As soon as you notice yourself complain and whine – stop right there! Otherwise, you’ll never stop and will be that grumpy and miserably-looking person.
Deliberately avoid problems
Putting off, not noticing, pretending you didn’t hear, not giving your opinion – these are all the things we do to avoid dealing with problems right now. However, small problems, that can easily be solved now, can turn out to be huge problems in the future. So, stop making excuses and deal with your problems the moment they appear.
Compare yourself to others
This one is my favorite. You cannot even imagine how harmful it is to always compare yourself to other people. Surely, you can have some role models and try to reach for their heights. However, the obsessive need to be everything that people around are and get everything that they have is destructive. There will always be someone that is better than you in something or has more than you have. Stop focusing on that and live your own life.
Worry about things and events that haven’t happen yet
This is one of the common reasons why so many great ideas are not realized in life. That is because the owners of these ideas are too afraid to fail and they are not sure of these ideas. They momentarily see hundreds of far-fetched obstacles on their way. This also relates to people’s personal life and the fear to create families and have babies. Don’t waste potentially great opportunities because of the stupid fears.
Burden yourself with problems
Avoiding problems is bad, but excessive diving into them is also not very healthy. If you have a talent to make a mountain out of a molehill, this point is for you. Everyone faces problems, big or small, urgent and not. You don’t have to be a superman and claim to be able to solve any problem on the way. Ask for help if you feel that it is too much.
Do things that you don’t like
I’m not going to stop on this point for long, it is too obvious. It is hard to be happy if you do the things you hate.
Continue the relationships that have outlived themselves
Being with someone you don’t love any more isn’t right. Staying with a person out of guilt or pity is not fair. No matter how great you hide it, this person will still feel it.
If you stay in such a relationship, you prevent yourself from an opportunity to meet true love and to start a new life. The same thing goes with friends. It may be sad, but people change with time and some connections can fade.
Try to change people around
It is difficult to change yourself. It is even harder to change other people, especially if you just try to thrust your views and opinion on them. Every person with self-esteem will definitely resist such a behavior.
You can spend a lot of time trying to change bad, in your opinion, habits of your partner. Eventually he or she will leave you for those who appreciate them for who they are.
People change only if they want to. That is why the only thing for you to do is to be a good example.
Try to please everyone
This is one of the most ungrateful things to do. Pleasing everyone is impossible. If absolutely everyone around likes you, you may become mediocre with no opinion of your own. One thing is that you keep your opinion to yourself with relatives and bosses and the other thing is that you agree with everyone all the time. In this desire to please every person you know, you may lose yourself and your personality.
Get attached to goals/things/people/etc.
There is nothing constant and permanent in this world. Everything changes including you. The goals that you have at the beginning of the year can lose their value to the end of it. The person that you were madly in love with and swore to love forever may turn out not as great as you thought. Friends let down sometimes, as well as relatives. Be flexible and open and don’t get too attached.
The post is written by Adam Mann, an aspiring writer, blogger and motivational speaker. He works as a freelance writer for AssignmentJedii Company and travels around the world to collect memories and experiences.