When I’ve got a case of the blues, I sometimes cheer myself up by buying a new book or two on Amazon. Perhaps you have some similar habits: you know what cheers you up, whether it’s going shopping, eating a giant bag of chips, opening a bottle of wine, lighting up…
The problem is, a lot of these little habits don’t really cheer us up, and, over time, they can have a very negative effect on our health, our wallet, or both.
These are some perennially popular ones – and reasons why they’re not a good idea:
1. Comfort Eating
Do you ever turn to food when you’re bored, stressed, or feeling low? Many of us have a long-established pattern of eating for emotional reasons – this may be something we learnt as small children, if parents gave us candy as a comforter (or to keep us quiet!)
The problem with comfort eating is that, even if a king-sized candy bar dulls our misery temporarily, we usually feel worse afterwards. If you’re trying to take care of your health, or lose weight, you’ll probably feel guilty for using your bad mood as an excuse to succumb to temptation.
A short-term sugar crash won’t do much for your state of mind, and your long-term health is likely to suffer if you regularly over-indulge in sweet, salty or fatty snacks.
2. Alcohol or Cigarettes
When I realized in college that I often felt I “needed” a glass of wine at the end of the day in order to unwind and relax, I knew it was time to go teetotal for a while. You might be far from being an alcoholic – but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a drinking problem.
Turning to the bottle when you’re feeling blue isn’t going to help. At best, you might forget about what’s troubling you for an evening – but your problems will still be there the next day (and they may well be accompanied by a hangover). If you’re starting to feel that you “need” a drink in order to de-stress, be careful.
I’ve never smoked, but a few of my friends are smokers, and from what they’ve said, I know that cigarettes do provide some stress-relief. This comes, however, with a hefty price tag, both in monetary and health terms. If you’re putting off quitting because you can’t relax without a cigarette, start exploring some better stress-busting techniques.
3. Shopping
There’s nothing wrong with using your money to buy things that bring you enjoyment. If you regularly go shopping to lift your mood, however, there’s a good chance that you’re buying a lot of stuff that you don’t really need and don’t really want.
If you get into the habit of shopping when you’re down, you’ll be more susceptible to succumbing to cunning marketing ploys. As with comfort eating, alcohol and cigarettes, excessive and unnecessary shopping won’t make you feel good about yourself the next day.
Plus, if your financial situation is a bit rocky, shopping will add to your worries.
So, if these popular mood-boosters don’t really work, what does? There are a whole host of things you might try, but three that are pretty much guaranteed to lift your mood are:
1. Exercising
Don’t groan! Getting your body moving is a great way to boost your mood (and, of course, it’s good for your health). Have you ever had that satisfied, completely de-stressed feeling after a workout? Or have you ever gone outside to “walk off” some excess nervous energy, or to get some space and recover from a bad mood?
If you’ve tried exercising in the past, you’ll know how effective it is. Over here in the UK, doctors are increasingly encouraging patients with mild to moderate depression to exercise regularly – it can help people to manage their depression without the need for drugs.
2. Doing Something for Others
Many volunteers find that giving their time and energy to a good cause helps them to feel fulfilled and satisfied, and that it can be a great way of meeting new friends with similar interests and values. Knowing that you’ve used one of your skills to help someone in need can give your confidence and your sense of self-worth a massive boost.
You don’t necessarily need to join a formal scheme as a volunteer. How about dropping in on a lonely neighbor, doing a favor for a friend, or taking the time to phone someone who you know will appreciate a chat?
3. Get On With Something Absorbing
When you’re feeling down, it can be hard to feel motivated to start on anything. Perhaps you’ve got a stack of emails to reply to, but you just can’t face them. (Indeed, a backlog of work might even be the cause of your bad mood.) Maybe you’ve got a particular hobby or interest that you never seem to get time for any more.
Getting on with something – anything – can sometimes be enough to lift your mood. It might mean throwing yourself into work, or enjoying a chapter or two of an engrossing novel. Sometimes, all that’s needed for your mood to lift is to simply find an activity that occupies your brain.
How do you lift your mood when you’re feeling down? Do any of the above tips work for you, or do you have some of your own to add to the list?
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I’ve done all six of these at one point or another in my life and I can tell you that the first three definitely don’t work and the last three definitely do work. Great post on pointing out the positive, healthy ways to cheer yourself up!
You’re so right. I’ve done them all — The first three stupid things work temporarily but cause anything but cheer in the long run. The last 3 are definitely the ones that work best. I also do these sometimes when I feel down and they help:
Get some sun. (This one could go hand in hand with your suggestion to get some exercise. But even just standing outside on a sunny day lifts my spirits when I’ve been stuck in the home or office too long).
Put on cheerful music. (Any thing that makes you smile or feel like dancing).
Make a list of 3-5 things I love about me (or that I did well that day)
I don’t know… I enjoy eating especially with the right company. I agree with a lot of the points you put down. I wrote a post on it a while back, and I certainly agree with doing things for others. It can put a smile on anyone’s face.
Three great suggestions, Gina — thanks!
Pharmacist Millie, maybe I was too harsh on eating to cheer up! I definitely agree that a good meal with friends is a fab way to improve your mood. It’s the mindless handfuls of chips type eating I’m down on (mostly cos I’m rather prone to it myself!)
This a perfrct blog for me at the moment. I’m guilty of item 1 and 3. I will try your suggestions and hopefully i’ll be out of the blue state.
I find that exercise works best for me when I’m feeling down. I have an exercise bike so whenever I need a boost I just hop on that, put on a DVD and cycle 5k. Gets the heart pumping and tops up my energy level.
Exercise is definitely something I feel benefits me when I’m in an off mood. Nice post.
Two that don’t have instant payoff, but definitely work:
1. B Complex: taking B6 and B12 everyday has a big impact on my overall mood.
2. No wheat, and no refined sugar (fruit sugars are ok). You’ll have a couple of days of bitchy withdrawal hell, but after that, you may be astonished to discover how much of your mood ups & downs are just the blood sugar rollercoaster of the modern Western diet. (BTW, pt. 1 above is wrong: eating a candy bar won’t help your mood, but if you haven’t eaten in a few hours, a healthy snack with some protein and carbs may well pick you up!)
Once you tune into how much of your mood is physiological rather than emotional you will have one more instant way to cheer up that now works for me almost every time: instead of trying to figure out what’s bothering you, or looking for the “solution” to the thing that you think is getting you down, try to tune into the physical place in your body where you are feeling the yuck. Learning to connect with your “moods” as physical symptoms — and then looking for physical ways to manage them (exercise, healthy snacks) will get you out of that unhappy brain loop.
Dear Ali,
I couldn’t agree more that comfort addictions such as eating, alcohol/cigarettes and shopping are not good ways to cope with difficult feelings. Letting ourselves be with those feelings, process them integrate and let them go are habits worth cultivating. Certainly using exercise, reaching out towards others or supporting yourself to move forward are much more constructive ways to deal with cheering yourself up. Because I am a psychotherapist for over 20 years, I know from experience, being willing to look at why your down is the true answer to not needing to cheer yourself up.
Dr. Jennifer Howard
My favorite choice is exercise. The benefits are great and I get in shape at the same time.
For serious depression, this advice is pretty worthless. It doesn’t work, and telling it to a clinically depressed person is a little patronizing.