We take it for granted that people should know how to be polite. It seems like something universal: You say please and thank you, you smile, and you tell people you’re doing well when they ask how you are, even if your life is in turmoil. At least that’s how it works in the West.
I’ve been living in Korea for the past year and a bit and it’s a little different over here.
Koreans have a distinct way of saying “Yes” to each other that sounds like a dismissive grunt to the native English speaker.
When my girlfriend and I first started dating, for example, I’d ask if she wanted to have pizza for dinner. “Uh,” she’d reply, and it took me a while to learn that this meant yes.
Naturally, as we spent more time together, I began using “Uh” myself. Eventually it became unconscious; without noticing I would grunt “Uh” whenever I wanted to say yes to something.
Why was this an issue?
I’m used to expressing politeness by using the word, “Please,” or excessively apologizing like the good Canadian boy I am. But in Korea I’m often at a loss because there’s no real word for “Please” in Korean, and if you say “Sorry” without having actually done anything to apologize for, you just seem strange and silly.
Instead, politeness in Korean is expressed using different word endings. There are essentially three levels—casual, everyday formal, and super formal—and in each level you would end the last word of your sentence in a different way.
It’s a little confusing, but for the sake of this story all you need to know is that using “Uh” to say “Yes” is something you would do only when speaking to someone younger than you or someone who you know very well. You would use a different word to say “Yes” in more formal situations.
The other week I went to a flower shop.
There was an old Korean couple inside sitting behind the register. They were eating noodles together silently. I smiled, said hello, and began browsing the flower display.
The old lady rose from her seat and asked me in Korean if I’d like to buy the bouqet that I was looking at. “Uh,” I said, without noticing.
She began preparing the flowers. As she did I noticed a sour look on her husband’s face as he sucked up a few noodles from his bowl.
“Would you like to pay by card?” she asked me.
“Uh.” I smiled and handed her my card. Now her face looked sour too. I tried making small talk with them in Korean—something I’ve found usually delights the elderly couples here as they watch me struggle to form sentences. This time, however, I barely received a response.
I sensed something was wrong. “Would you like a receipt?” she asked in a tone that seemed rather harsh. “Uh,” I said.
She gave me the receipt and sat back down without thanking me or saying goodbye. I eventually figured it out as I replayed the scene in my head on the walk home.
Worst of all was that I had no idea how many times I’d done the same thing to others; I imagined the number to be high. I consider myself to be a reasonably polite person, yet here I was in Korea, walking around grunting “Uh” at elders like an asshole.
Politeness is often one of the first things lost in translation, as it turns out.
So the next time you see a foreigner acting in a way that seems rude in your own country, perhaps they’ve just misunderstood some of the dos and don’ts of your culture. Maybe they really do mean well and are just confused about how to express their good intentions. Maybe they aren’t accustomed to all of the strange things we do that seem normal to us.
…Or maybe that particular person really just is a dick. Who knows. 😉
My name is Jacob. I’m fascinated by all of the strange things we often tell ourselves that prevent us from doing what we want to do in life. Soon-to-be blogger at pooroldme.com Check me out here.
Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.
I just want to say I’m all new to weblog and seriously enjoyed you’re website. Almost certainly I’m planning to bookmark your blog post . You absolutely have fantastic articles. Thanks for sharing with us your web site.
594385 805024You may uncover effective specific development of any L . a . Weight loss program and each and every youre extremely critical. To begin with level is an natural misplacing during the too much weight. lose belly fat 155999
478003 78374It is rare knowledgeable folks within this subject, nevertheless, you appear like theres far more you are talking about! Thanks 210005
733596 779923Immigration Lawyers […]the time to read or visit the content material or websites we have linked to below the[…] 253720
951513 244540Excellently written post, doubts all bloggers offered the identical content since you, the internet has to be far better location. Please stay the most effective! 380406
私たちの現実的な等身大のセックス人形は、あなたの喜びと欲望を念頭に置いて巧みに作られ、あなたの最もワイルドな性的衝動と空想を満たすように設計されています。 ダッチワイフ ロリ
Excellent article plus its information and I positively bookmark to this site because here I always get an amazing knowledge as I expect. Thanks for this to share with us japanscissors.com.au
Amazing blog and best selection of words totally informative for every one thanks for sharing
Really informative! Politeness is always a key when things run out of order. Thanks a lot for sharing a wonderful blog.
에볼루션코리아
086PKBWKw'{]
에볼루션카지노
320WHWjYf{:(
에볼루션바카라
071kyzjth+]]
에볼루션룰렛
036yVuKPz\%]
에볼루션블랙잭860IBkvAw)}>
Hello, we have very interesting and good news. Women need to give flowers, and to make it easier, there is an online flower shop. Athletes also deserve flowers and pleasant moments.