“Am I doing the right thing?
“Can I pull off quitting my job and starting my own project?”
“Should I be doing more?”
Let’s face it: we constantly ask our ourselves questions that make us doubt our ability to improve.
It’s part of our human nature to try as hard as possible to stay within the status quo. Evolution tells us that generations of humans got through arduous living conditions by seeking shelter and safety above all else. Now that we very rarely struggle to find that kind of physical safety, our brains haven’t changed all that much. We’re hardwired to seek the status quo, and our minds do an efficient job of holding us back even when we strive for something new.
I’ve seen many of the people around me suffer from this kind of self-doubt:
My best friend spent over two decades being unlucky in love, accepting sub-par treatment from her dates.
Daniel, a friend I met at a conference last month, spent years putting on weight mindlessly and carelessly.
I followed society’s advice all the way to grad school and a high-paying job, building a business for someone else instead of myself.
Has something like this happened to you? We do this when we’re afraid we can’t create a better situation for ourselves, when we believe this is as good as it’s going to get for us, when we can’t fathom of anything better coming our way.
If our brains are hardwired to stay within the status quo, creating doubt and fear of change, how can we change that hard-wiring? How can we flip the switch on our minds so that the questions we ask ourselves become *helpful* instead of *hurtful*?
Ask yourself a new question — a better question.
I strongly believe in the power of questions. Asking yourself a thought-provoking question can change your life more than any simple answer can. That’s why I created an entire mobile app based on asking interesting questions to elicit lots of thinking and deep-felt answers.
But there is one question above all that I encourage everyone to ask themselves. At most, it takes a few moments to ponder. If you aren’t ready to answer it, come back to it later. If you are ready to answer it, your life may change forever.
The question is:
Do I deserve better?
At some point, we’ve all been guilty of accepting less than we deserve.
I shared some examples with you of how doubt and fear of change can keep us locked inside our current situations, even if they’re not good for us. Now, allow me to share how these situations changed once the question of what each person deserves came into the picture:
My best friend’s father said to her one day: “I raised you to expect the best from your life.” That changed her mindset and her love life took a turn for the better.
My friend Daniel hit a low-point when he couldn’t run a 5k and struggled to build his business. Knowing he deserved better, he invested in a coach to help him drop 70 pounds thus far.
I quit my job (and then restructured my business a few months later) when I realized I wasn’t as free as I wanted to be.
If you asked yourself what you deserve out of your life — in your career, your relationships, your health, your everything — does it match up with your current situation?
Asking yourself what you deserve gives you a clearer roadmap of where you want to go — your destination. Once you can see your destination, it’s much easier to identify what you need to do get there — your path.
I hope this very simple question opens your eyes and your life to all the awesomeness you’ve always wished for.
I’d love to hear from you — could the concept of what you deserve change some part of your life?
When Marcella Chamorro decided to quit her job to live every day as if it’s a vacation, she turned her attention to creating a lifestyle that is both meaningful and exciting (watch her TEDx video in Spanish). As an author & entrepreneur based in Nicaragua, Marcella guides those who want to quit their jobs, live their dreams, and live a vacation that never ends at The Perpetual Vacation.