How To Stop Being Scared Of Your Passion

“Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.”
~ Oprah Winfrey

As I pulled on the reins there was nothing…

I desperately needed to check my speed before we reached the jump of two 4 ft. hanging logs into the water.

I tried over and over again, as we flew down the hill, but to no effect!

This was my big day….

The TV crew, spectators including my parents with the manager of The British Eventing Team, my boss and sponsors all stood waiting at the water jump.

I had dreamt of this since I was four.

I spent years training, sacrificing everything and working my way up to be a professional event rider and this was my opportunity to prove myself to everyone!

I’d had been so focused on my excitement, the nerves of fulfilling everyone else’s expectations and getting a fast time, that I had let my horse get away from me.
She had been building momentum and now it was too late ~ I had lost control!

We were no longer a team…

As she aimed herself at the approaching logs, energy pumping through her body, she bounced so high that she cleared them with feet to spare, but nose-dived into the water.
Although she was fine, I had been nothing but a rag doll sent flying through the air, until I landed face down in the water and drifting into unconsciousness…
What followed was a lot of drama, embarrassment and shame!

But this wasn’t the last time I made this mistake…

We like to call it passion, excitement, drive, competition ~ maybe it sounds more romantic or less daunting, but “A rose by any other name, would smell as sweet.” [Shakespeare]

It’s all DESIRE!

Desire gets a bad rap, but it’s a wonderful emotion…

It’s our life force, our lust for life, joie de vive and makes us find reasons to get up in the morning!

Desire is our ability both to create (grow) and destroy (consume).
It is neither bad nor good, but we do need to learn how to master it.
The greater the desire we feel, the more force it has ~ the more we need the courage and skills to harness and direct it.

But like a learner being given a Ferrari to drive, I lacked the experience and skills to be in charge, so I ended up out of control and crashing!

I made this same mistake again was when I was totally bowled over by my feelings of love and complete sexual attraction for a man who came into my life.

I got completely carried away by my excitement, passion and fear of failure that instead of having a little patience to let it build and grow naturally I tried to rush the pace of the relationship between us and ended up with what I most feared ~ broken hearted!

Desire is essential to survival and ability to thrive and be happy in life.

Take hunger ~ our most basic desire, the desire to consume. We must fulfill it to live and grow…

Hunger tells us when we are not getting enough of what we need and we must listen…
Hunger is not only for the right food (thirst is the also hunger), but also affection, recognition, attention, play, rest and sleep.

Sadly women too often fall into the trap of giving too much and not receiving. They give all their energy and time away, whilst blocking themselves to being fed, so that they end up starving and anxious.

Desire’s force to destroy gives us the power to clear, cut away and let go.

To not hold onto things, experiences, emotions and choices that we have outgrown, no longer need and is dead or dying.

It also enables us to create personnel boundaries between ourselves and other people. It gives us the power to say no or demonstrate NO in action, so we are in charge of our lives and we don’t become smothered by other people.

Both empower us to create space to invite new possibilities and ideas into our lives and initiate change.

We are all creative beings whether that’s to create relationship, a baby, building a career, a business, a home, a piece of art, a book, making love and creating an orgasm!
It is in our nature to express and fulfill our unique desires for life, but if we lose total control of ourselves we ultimately get burned by a fire that’s raging!

To become empowered is to know how to manage the pace and force of our desires enough to have momentum, movement and flow in our lives, without getting carried away too much to lose control of the direction and purpose and that only comes from trial and error.
However if we are afraid our desires, and to repress, hide or avoid them we leave its force untamed and out of control.

We end up redirecting our energy into our FEARS instead.

Either trying to grasp, manipulate, dominate or control other people or situations to force an outcome, or instead turning it on ourselves to self-sabotage and destroy our own lives!
If we try to squish our desire out shame and guilt, the result is stagnation, depression and starvation, like a river being damned, unable to flow.

By embracing our desires and learning to not be afraid of the fire behind them, but instead respecting it we can learn how to play with it we can master how to harness the powerful energy for our benefit.

We can become a team with our desire able to still keep the momentum, but with enough control to communicate thought, skill and judgement like my horse and I needed to be.
We could have then not only successfully completed that one water jump and most importantly the rest of the cross country course!

Jo Warwick is a therapist, energy healer and creator of
She is passionate about empowering women to unleash their feminine power. Get your free copy of Don’t Screw It Up ~ Top Ten Ways To Create A Relationship That’s Just Right For You


Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.

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