Is Happiness Really A Choice?

When I was a child, my parents would ask me, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” and I would reply “Happy!” Somewhere I have always known that if I was happy, everything else in my life would work. However, for many of us happiness seems just out of reach, like a place we will all ‘get to’ one day when certain conditions are met: maybe when we find the perfect relationship, when we’re earning a certain amount of money, or when we’ve reached our ideal body shape.

Ironically, seeing happiness as a destination is the very thing that keeps it so elusive. In truth, you can choose to be happy, for no reason! It’s a space of being, something you are, and it’s not as complicated as we’ve been led to believe. Let’s take a closer look.

A New Perspective on Happiness

It’s about your point of view

Your point of view creates your reality, reality does not create your point of view. This is a vital element in finding your happy and creating your life. Being happy comes first: it’s the catalyst for creating the life you truly desire, and accessing all of the experiences, people, possessions and situations you’d like to have in your life. What if all it takes to be happy, is to alter your perspective? Which bring us to…

It never looks the way you expect!

A lot of us have fixed ideas about what happiness will look like for us. What does it look like for you? Take a second to think about it. Now, is it really your idea of happy, or could you have absorbed it from your parents, teachers, friends or even the media? What if what would make YOU truly happy looks entirely different? When you allow yourself to be happy now amazing things can show up and yes — they might take you to whatever you pictured at the top of this paragraph — or they might take you somewhere even greater.

Being happy is not selfish

It’s common to think that doing more of what you love makes you selfish. But consider this: can you contribute more to the world and people in it when you’re happy, or when you’re unhappy?

Money is not the key to happiness

If you made the choice to be happy, then you wouldn’t have any problems and the money would show up. Happiness is where your potency lies. This is such a big one. When you’re happy, you have the power to change anything. If you’re anxious about money, finding love, raising your kids, losing weight — anything at all — happiness is the space from where you can change any of that. Ever notice that when you’re happy, everything just works out? As if by magic?

6 Ways to Choose Happiness — Today

What lights you up? Find out what lights you up and do it daily. Hang out in nature, visit that friend who you feel great around, go window shopping, create, watch your favorite movie. Treat yourself, take a day trip somewhere you love, or buy a donut and eat it in the sun.

A lot of us lose touch with what makes us happy over the years. If that’s you, ask yourself: What is it that makes me happy, that I’ve never acknowledged?

Say this out loud: All of life comes to me with ease, and joy and glory. Say it ten times. In fact, say it ten times every morning, and every evening. It will invite ease and joy and an exuberance of living into your whole life, the good the bad and the ugly. Who doesn’t want that?

What if you lived every day as a celebration? Reach into your wardrobe and wear that special dress or shirt you’re saving for the perfect occasion. Prepare that meal you love to cook for guests — just for you. And eat it on the dinnerware you’re saving for Christmas. If not now, when?

Be willing to be different. Here’s the deal, you can either be wrong, or you can be joyful. Choosing to be happy, despite the world around you, is actually a radical choice! It rejects the dominant world view that happiness is conditional. Making this choice is stepping away from being normal or fitting in. It’s inspiring — and it inspires others to choose happiness, too.

Move your body: There’s a reason this is recommended by doctors the world over — physical exercise releases endorphins, giving you that beautiful, natural sense of happiness that comes with a side helping of vitality. Put your favourite playlist on and move your body! And, if you’re happy, could you let your face know it? If you don’t, your body never knows it’s actually happy! Just saying!

Happiness is actually your natural state. Once you start accessing more of it, a momentum is set in motion, and more and more will show up with ease.

Get Happy & Stay There!  

Here’s a question: has anyone ever got mad at you for being happy? I’ve definitely experienced this. Why do people do it? Because when someone is happy, they can’t be controlled. When others get dramatic, traumatic, angry or sad when you’re happy, they might be doing it in a effort to contract your happiness and take it away.

Recognize you’re not wrong. You don’t have to earn being happy or prove yourself. Your happy is your own — it looks different to mine, to your lover’s, and to your most treasured friend’s. No one else’s happiness is bigger or more important than yours.

If you make the choice to be happy today, what could your life be like this time next year? What about five years, or ten?

Would you like to find out?

Dr. Dain Heer is a bestselling author and internationally renowned speaker. He is a co-creator and leading facilitator of Access Consciousness®, a personal development modality available in more than 170 countries that has contributed to changing the lives of tens of thousands of people. Dr. Heer draws upon his personal background and unique perspective to facilitate positive change in the world, and to empower people from every culture, country, age and social strata to create the life they truly desire. For more information on his latest book, Return of the Gentleman, visit: Follow Dain.


Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.

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