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How Well Are You Performing in Your Different Roles?

Each day, you play a number of different roles in both your professional and your personal life.

Your professional world is a large part of what you do – but if you’re striving for excellence in this part of your life, it makes sense to strive for excellence in every area.

How are you doing in each area of your life? What are you committed to in each of those areas? What’s the gap or the creative tension between where you are and where you want to be?

As the people around us grow and change, our roles change too: as parents, children, siblings and spouses. We need to be intentional in looking at the roles we have and the level of priority that we give to each. Being excellent at each of our roles means following a constantly moving, evolving target – bridging the gap between our current reality and our vision for the future.

Consider how you spend a typical day:  perhaps you go to the gym at 5am, work from 8am until 5pm, and then spend time with your family in the evening. How might you change and evolve in each of your current roles?

Professional Life

In my professional life, I’m not just a coach. I’m also a community leader, board member, and speaker.

As a community leader, I love to support individuals and organizations in Michigan to lead more fulfilling professional and personal lives.

As a board member for the Troy Chamber of Commerce, I am able to help many small businesses in my local area.

As a speaker, I can be a catalyst for change for a whole group of people by delivering a customized presentation to suit their needs.

As a coach, I’m part of a large network of coaches. Today, I can point to literally hundreds of coaches who I’ve influenced. To me, that’s the true power of community.

For example, I saw a new acquaintance on LinkedIn mention how awesome her coach was: it turned out I was her coach’s coach years ago. To see my contributions showing up in this way gives me an enormous amount of pleasure.

Sometimes we take on roles out of a sense of obligation. These can feel oppressive, like carrying a heavy weight. Other roles reflect our genuine self and are characterized by lightness and joy: they allow us to express ourselves with authenticity and delight.

How could you shift your perspective about the more difficult roles that you play? Could you bring a sense of playfulness to these? What could you learn from them?

Personal Life

In my personal life, I’m a husband, father, brother and son. Each role has its challenges – and its rewards.

As a husband, I’ve learnt to focus on becoming the person I need to be in the relationship, rather than thinking that my wife should be the person I want her to be.

As a father, I am honored and delighted by my children’s evolution and growth, even now that they’re both out of the house and doing astoundingly well.

As a son, I try to live by “honor thy mother and father” – and as I observe and embrace my parents’ life changes, I become increasingly aware of my own.

And as a brother, I try to stay in contact with my older sister and younger brother, and be the “glue” in my family.

Reflect on your own role as a partner, parent, sibling or child. What opportunities have these relationships given you for growth? How do you live out your core values in your relationships with family members?


Barry Demp is a highly-skilled Michigan Business and Personal coach, working with small business owners, executives and other professionals. He has a free downloadable workbook on “Masterful Networking” available on his website, and he blogs regularly about self-improvement.

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