self improvement

How To Believe In Yourself When Everything Is Against You

When I look back at all the things i’ve ever achieved in my life. I’ve realised that while the process towards getting there was straight forward, what was most evident was the fact that there were also emotional and external implications that were always there that made it difficult for me to succeed.

It was a constant battle not only with myself, but also a battle with the people around me and my external conditions that I had to deal with at the time.

All the self-doubt, the motivation issues of taking action and the ups and downs having experienced failure towards becoming successful. Further fuel to the fire was added when people around me would doubt in my ability to do it, not because they didn’t want to see me change but because they felt uncomfortable with the prospect of seeing me change.

Your closest friends and family will not want to see you change because they are with you on the premise of who you are at the present moment.

Your journey towards success will never be easy because of it, which many people opt out of having seen at first hand how its like. And the ones that stick with it, often find it difficult to maintain the connections they currently have.

At that point, you’re then left with a choice, which is very difficult to make and have to weigh up whether what you want is worth more than the lifestyle you currently have.

Most of the time, this is an easy decision to make since most people decide to change due to not being satisfied with their current lives.

However, there are other times where you might love the friends and family you have and would love to take them with you towards your goals, but may need to cut them out of your life due to not liking the direction you’re going. No matter how positive it may seem.

What then?

What I realised is that there is no easy solution and will have to be prepared for the inevitable decisions, which you’ll have to make.

It will also set you up for getting over the negative feedback you’re receiving from your environment and realign you towards you goals.

Here are 2 questions I always ask myself that has always helped me succeed:

1) Is my life having achieved my goals going to be more valuable in the long term than what’s currently provided for me right now by my friends and family?

If your friends and family are keeping you from making your dreams and visions come true and stopping you from finding happiness in your life. Don’t feel guilty of cutting them out of your life or even limiting contact with them.

Everyone has a different path to follow that is unique to them, which generally doesn’t involve anyone else’s happiness and satisfaction besides your own. It’s a sad and often difficult thing to accept but the sooner you do, the easier your journey towards success and achievement actually becomes.

2) Are my goals really what I truly want, or is it for validation?

Regardless of what your circumstances are, its vital that you sit down and question why your goals are what they are and whether they’re coming from a place of genuine achievement or for validation.

If it’s the latter, then your friends and family may have a point in feeling the way they’re feeling and may even provide you with all the validation you need, realising that who you actually are is enough and don’t need to prove anyone anything as far as worthiness is concerned.

The issue then will not be due to lack, but in your ability to communicate your attractive qualities to the people who may not know you, and will simply have to improve the way your sell yourself.

Once you’ve asked yourself both of these questions and given yourself an honest answer to both of them, you’ll then have a better idea of where you stand and (depending on your answers) what you now need to now do to take action.

The journey to success is never easy, but well worth the struggle.

Onder Hassan is the owner and publisher of Dawn of Change. A self-confidence blog, using case studies and real world experiences to document his progress. He is also the author of How To Cure Social Anxiety: An Alternative Guide. Sign up for his FREE YOU 2.0 course for a simple strategy to overcoming your fears to help take you to the next level. He can be found on Google+


Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.

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