You’ve set up your goals for 2014 and finding true love is one of your priorities for this year. Do you find yourself day dreaming about that special person who will rock your world? Well, here are 6 little effective secrets that not only will help you finding love, but to keep in burning for years to come.
1 – QUIT DREAMING
Yes, quit dreaming, there is no way around that one. You won’t find your soul mate, you better half, while you’re just passively dreaming. Wake up and take action. Be the number one actor of your life and write your own story.
Sometimes the love of our lives is right in front of our eyes.
2 – BE ATTENTIVE
Sometimes we think we have to go far to find love. Sometimes we think we should actively search for something. In reality, love can be found on our back yard and when we least expect it. I’ve traveled the world extensively, just to find my partner literally at my front door!
Instead of finding a million strategies on how to meet more people, try to be more attentive to the people you meet. We’re not on a race for numbers, but for quality, compatibility.
Start doing the things you love most. Join that Yoga class you’ve always wanted to take, enroll in that theater group, the animal rescue volunteer association you love so much… join the gym. When you’re doing the things you love the most, you’ll automatically meet people with similar interests, which will probably share a lot of the same passions. When you stop looking and start living, love will come your way effortlessly.
3 – WRAP IT UP AND PACK IT WISELY
This is very important. I have a friend who is constantly involved with the weirdest type of men. When looking at it, I see a pattern, but she can’t understand why she only attracts creeps. Well, it’s very simple. It has everything to do with how she pack and wrap herself. Let me explain: The way you put yourself out there, will determine what type of people you’ll attract.
First impressions are very important and even the way you dress and the places you go to search for love can determine the type of person you’ll end up with. My friend tries to get male attention by using super short, tight and too revealing clothes. She goes to bars and needs a few drinks to loosen up. The way she’s wrapping and packaging herself, screams: “easy” and “desperate” with every single letter. She doesn’t understand that being sexy and seductive, has nothing to do with being sleazy. When searching for love in a low class bar, she’s limiting herself to these kind of people. Raise your standards.
This takes us back to the previous point; do what you love doing the most. Follow your passions and surround yourself with like minded people. This way, you’ll find someone who shares the same passions and dreams.
4 – LEARN TO SAY NO
Learn to say no. It’s very important when you start dating. The beginning of every relationship is when habits and dynamics start to take shape. Always be yourself since day one and choose only what empowers and works out for you, not what serves the other person only. When you feel happy and empowered, you will automatically empower your better half and treat him/her with love and kindness.
We tend to say yes to everything in the beginning of our relationships and that’s why things seem to change radically when the fire of passion cools down. Instead of turning passion into real love, your feelings turn into irritation. Suddenly the wet towel on top of the bed, or the fact that he/she never takes out the trash goes from being ok to a big problem and a motive for constant fights. If something doesn’t feel right, say it from the beginning.
In reality, very little things change during the first few years of our relationships, only our perception and tolerance to things does.
5- GAME OVER!
Although most women’s magazines try to make you believe you have to play games to win his heart, that is all fake. Don’t start a relationship based in games and strategies. It’s not fair and it’s not honest.
Be yourself and cultivate the habit of communicating. Make sure a no is no and a yes is yes. Be assertive and true to the other person.
6 – WHAT ARE YOU BRINGING TO THE GAME?
Why do you want to be in a relationship? Is it because you feel lonely? You feel bored? You’re scared you’ll never find the love of your dreams so you settle for less?
So, what are you bringing to the game? A void and emptiness? Then you’re starting with the wrong foot already.
Romantic relationships are meant to make us grow and expand as human and spiritual beings. When your self confidence, self esteem are high and you feel it’s time to share your happiness with someone else, then you’re bringing the right type of energy to the relationship. You won’t be attracting other needy people. Don’t bond over each other’s pain and emptiness as emptiness will only bring more emptiness and each one of you will constantly try to get the other one to fulfil the void.
Bond over love and joy and you’ll see how your relationship will last a lifetime.
Yara Coelho is the author of the travel & personal development blog “Heart of a Vagabond” she’s a solo female traveler, with a love for vegetarian food, natural medicines and ecology projects. She studied Psychology, just to find out the Freudian view of the world was too depressive, leading her on a Classical Chinese medicine and personal development journey. Follow her journey on Facebook