Do you ever watch personal development videos on You Tube?
I do. I used to watch them all the time and one day, about a year and a half ago, two things really struck me.
- They’re so damn long. The ‘guru’ can take between 10 and 30 minutes, sometimes going off point, to answer the question or talk about their area of expertise.
- They overload you with information. The subject may be something fairly clear like building confidence but you’re gonna get a cluster bomb of an answer. Stand back while you’re bombarded with 10 different steps ranging from the useful to the downright trivial.
Hmmm, I thought, I have an idea. What if I was to make a series of videos that gave viewers just one answer to the problem they face and were no longer than 4 minutes in length? That way, I wouldn’t take up too much of their time and also give them a clear solution they could action in their day to day lives.
Yes, I said to myself, you’re onto a winner. And so, The Real Answer series was born. I proceeded to make 7 videos dealing with issues that we all face and how to solve them.
But me being me, I couldn’t just give any old answer. It had to be THE answer, the most definitive, clearest and effective solution
And guess what?
When you’re looking for the REAL answers, the place to find it is outside the mainstream.
So without further ado, I present to you, 7 unconventional answers (taken from my video series) that will get you thinking and hopefully have a positive impact on some of the issues you face.
Answer Number 1: How to be Confident
It’s not affirmations, empowering clothing and it’s not even your posture and the way you carry yourself. Don’t get me wrong, these can help but the only real way to build long lasting confidence is to face your fears.
The confidence of a person can be measured in the amount battles they’ve been through. Yes, you may have quivered throughout that presentation you gave or bumbled your words when approaching that beautiful woman or man you like, but you had the balls to do it.
Confidence grows through this because of a human beings amazing ability to adapt. Keep putting yourself in fear inducing situations and eventually the strength of your terror will subside. When this happens, you start to relax, and when you start to relax, you’re free to give the best of yourself to the task at hand.
Answer Number 2: How to Find your Passion
The commonly held belief is that this is very difficult to do. After all, a shocking 81% of people in employed work are uninspired by their jobs. Viewed like this, there’s a global epidemic of wasted lives.
Understandably, this is something you want to avoid but doing so requires a little lateral thinking. You see most people don’t lack passions; they lack the courage to pursue them. You probably already have a workable idea but what are you doing to make it happen?
Answer Number 3: How to be Successful
I need to warn you that society considers the answer I’m about to give dangerous. It’ll tell you to work hard, keep your head down and play the game. If you do all of these things then one day you’ll live in a big house, own multiple cars and have respect.
While there’s a chance this might occur, even if you do get to the front of the rat race, it’s more than likely the things you’ll notice the most are how stressed you are by your 50 plus hour a week job and how a little piece of you dies every day through having to conform.
Of course, there is another kind of success – the one where YOU set the agenda. However, to succeed outside the system, your project, idea or dream will have to become an obsession in your mind. Only this strength of mental focus will galvanise all of your energy and provide you with the motivation, answers and persistence to forge your own path.
Answer Number 4: How to Overcome Depression
This is my most controversial answer. Remember, my intention in saying what I’m about to say is to enlighten, not offend.
It is my belief, and that of a psychiatrist imminently more qualified than me, that most people diagnosed with depression don’t need prescription drugs.
What’s the solution then?
Put simply, START LIVING A LIFE.
Think about it, is it any wonder so many people feel miserable and low on energy when we work jobs we don’t enjoy, spend an endless amount of time doing them and are conditioned to ignore our true feelings?
The antidote, therefore, is to give free reign to your dreams and desires. Start doing what you want to do, not what is expected of you. Remember, that low energy state you’re experiencing is your soul’s way of communicating and telling you to set your sights higher.
Answer Number 5: How to Deal with Failure
‘Failure is feedback’ goes the famous saying. While I don’t wish to knock a useful NLP presupposition, I do want to draw your attention to another factor that makes the experience more palatable.
What if you only needed to win one time out of ten to be a success?
Sound odd doesn’t it, but when you break down even the highest of achievers success rates, you’ll discover that they’re not as awe inspiring as we’re led to believe.
Tim Ferriss got rejected by 26 publishers before the 27th he approached agreed to publish his Four Hour Work Week.
Colonel Sanders was rejected 1009 times before a restaurant agreed to use his recipe.
Michael Jordan missed more than 9000 shots in his career.
So don’t be concerned the next time you fail to get a client, don’t get the job or make a loss on an investment. Hold out for the occasions that you do.
Answer Number 6: How to be Happy
It’s all about your energy. While the system seeks to convince us we can only be happy through greater consumption, the research would suggest otherwise. In fact, being in the highest income bracket of your country will only make you 3.5% happier than the average.
So if the big car, grand house, expensive holidays and designer clothes aren’t going to make you that much happier, what will?
The paradoxical answer is, taking ownership of your happiness. You have to work at raising your energy regardless of life’s ups and downs. Every day, you have to focus on the thoughts that get you feeling good and eliminate the ones that depress you. This way your mood will be dictated by you and not your environment.
Answer Number 7: How to Sleep Better
Some YouTube videos were telling me I needed to buy lavender scented pillows, set my alarm at exactly the same time each morning and get into bed at exactly the same time each night, but after years spent as an insomniac I knew this advice did little to assist consistent sleep.
So what did?
I only began to sleep properly after I stopped worrying about my sleep. I had to LET GO.
- No more attempting to force myself to sleep
- No more worrying about feeling tired for an important event the next day
- No more questioning why it was I wasn’t sleeping properly and wondering whether I was being punished
Although sleeping badly, the issue of sleep had to be completely absent from my mind. Only by letting go in this way would I allow my subconscious mind to take over. It knows how to guide you, SO LET IT DO ITS JOB.
Joe writes for the Dreamers. He believes everybody should live a life doing the things they love (and get paid to do it!) and have the freedom to set their own agenda. For more information please visit his website screwthesystemnow.com and check out his critically acclaimed book Escape the System Now. He also works as a hypnotherapist and tennis coach.