7 Secrets to Growing Up (and, yeah, it’s about time!)

Call this post a rant, but I decided it’s high time I wrote this in-your-face article to let people know what they’re doing wrong.

Time and time again I see my friends acting like, well, kids. It baffles my mind to how somebody around my age, that is 29 can be so insecure that they behave like selfish, needy, erratic and crazy brats.

Life is tough. Life is even unfair, but that doesn’t mean we should keep acting out, believing the world revolves only around us.

My friends, I shouldn’t have to write this, but here are 7 secrets to growing up and maturing into an adult

1) You MUST recognize how you’re coming across and how others perceive you

You have your own thoughts and feelings, but that doesn’t mean people around you think or feel the same way.

So basically, what you say or do has a different meaning to others. It’s important to know how you’re coming across as to others because you don’t want to go downhill and have people judge you and start misunderstanding you to be a selfish person.

Why? Because face it. People are judgmental creatures. Image is important. It’s not going to do you any good if you go down that path of acting your way while entirely coming across as another to others. And yeah, you’ll come across as selfish if you think your way is the only way.

For example, say you’ve had a stressful week at work. You do indeed have the right to whine, rant or complain about it. Do it once, sure, maybe others will think you’re a hard worker. Do it everyday for the week? You’re a whiny brat then, and nobody likes a whiner.

2) Hence, you need to care about what others think too!

Okay I get it. The entire self-help world rages on about not caring about what others think and how that creates an awesome life for you.

But I call a little bullshit on that. To a certain extent, we all do care about others think about us. And how you play with that idea is an art. It’s make the difference between a masterful adult who’s brave enough to lead his life his own way and a stubborn little kid; between the adult who keeps his comments to himself and the kid who is (unknowingly) rude to others and then thinks he’s still right.

Yet, it honestly shouldn’t be that hard.

Care about what others think because you respect others and wish not to harm them. Care because you know others have their own challenges in life and thus the world doesn’t revolve around you. Care because, you care.

Don’t care about what others think because you know it’s just noise trying to drag you down from hitting your own goals and dreams. Don’t care because they’re toxic people. Don’t care because you know you’re own person.

3) Suck it up if it’s just a little pain

Look, this is life. There’re ups and then there’re downs. Not everything goes our way.

And when that happens, it is the adult who accepts it, learns from it, brushes his himself off and move on.

It is the kid who whines, rants and complains loudly about it.

It’s not a big deal if it hurts a little ONLY! So suck it up. It’s not the end of the world and nobody wants to hear it from you more than once.

4) Never hide your pain by trying to hurt others and drag others down

Unfortunately, a lot of people who’re hurting in this world function this way. This is why bullies exist.

I was never really bullied, but I’ve had my fair share of encountering people who thought they could put me down as a way of actually seeking my attention badly. They’d subsequently start justifying why they were acting like jerks and then reveal what their problem was.

So be open about it. A mature adult would be open about his problems and then actively seek the help he needs. A kid would complain, insult and then cry just for the attention.

5) So be vulnerable and learn to apologize

By that extension, an adult would willingly admit that they’re wrong too. An immature person on the other hand would hunt for excuses just to cover up their own mistakes.

Always make amends. Be a man. Be an adult about it. Learn to forgive others too. You’re not always right and you’ve to respect the idea that you screw up and make mistakes too.

Truly, the mark of a real man is one who not only faces those he fears, but also those he has wronged.

6) Never cry for attention on social media

Perhaps I’m a little biased on the way social media works, but I think this has to be said.

An adult seeks feedback on social media. He or she would break out of their comfort zone and expect to be judged as they showcase their work, art or opinion.

If it’s anything less than that, then you’re just crying for attention and seeking weak validation through the currency of likes, shares or comments. This is when you post some passive aggressive status that is vague in its meaning altogether. This is when you feel good because you hear what you want to hear from your friends, the ones who are too nice to tell you what you NEED to hear instead.

Then you call it a day and sweep your problems under the digital rug.

That’s what kids do. Don’t expect to grow up at all if you’re addicted to this.

7) Act and don’t act your age

Ahh. Another idea the self-help world has put on a pedestal, namely, that age is just a number and we should do whatever we want regardless of how old we are.

But honestly, how effective is that? Can we do that for every second in our lives?

Of course not. The world will be a crappier place overnight if adults refuse to act like adults and then start dumping all their responsibilities.

So like not caring about what others think, you’ve to play with this carefully.

Act your age because you need to be responsible and retain accountability in your life, especially if there’re people depending on you. Act your age so you can take charge and help those younger than you.

Yet, shed the ideas around what is expected of your age! Balance it out and start braving life by doing what you really want. Heck, help those older than you too.

Live a fulfilling life yourself. It’s very possible to do that without  shirking your responsibilities.

Okay. Rant over! Help me share this if you know of friends who need to grow up!

Special bonus for Pick The Brain Readers!

I hope you enjoyed the article! Want more ways to be mature?

Then you’re going to want my book. It’s free! Here it is:

12 Things Happy People Don’t Give a F**K About!

Time to shed the crap in life and start being happy! This free book is only available through this link to Alden Tan.

Alden Tan keeps it real at his blog and writes about motivation in unconventional ways. His two main passions are Bboying and writing. Check out his free report12 Things Happy People Don’t Give a F**k About!


Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.

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