5 Things I Learned As An Angry, Introverted Individual

So I’m currently 30 years old and I’m an angry person. An introverted one at that.

People around me may see me as weird, or even crazy considering the different things I do. Truly, I tend to isolate myself, especially when the anger feels overwhelming.

It’s okay though. I don’t expect them to understand, and sometimes, that’s the way I like it.

That’s the life of an introvert for you. We tend to look inwards more than anything. And we do it at our pace, in our own space.

I wish I could say this article is going to be super inspiring and helpful, but it’s not. These are just observations of my own life. Hope it helps anyway.

1) Do things your own way, screw what others think

I’ve honestly come to believe that anger management is complete bullshit. It does not help me.

It makes me react to my anger too much. And it makes me feel like I’m in denial as it forces me to forgive my wrongdoers, something I am not ready to do. Or, most commonly, you’re taught to meditate (or whatever woo-woo technique) to calm down.

None of that helped.

What helped me the most? It was acknowledging that I am angry person and that I’ve accepted it. I will continue to be angry.

Yes, you heard that right. I will continue to be angry, and that’s okay with me.

Most will not understand it, but I don’t care anymore. After all, this is my life and I come up with the rules. Also, when you admit that you’ve a problem, it is easier on you and also a relief to accept who you are rather than constantly try to push it aside.

Besides, I don’t act out in public. I never get in trouble, so I personally think I am doing alright.

So go get it at your own pace. Do things your way. There’s no right or wrong for you unless you’re hurting yourself or others on an abusive level. Remember, you control the reins.

2) Isolation can be liberating

This year, I made the decision to quit all of my Whatsapp groups. The groups consisted of a lot of my friends, some of whom I am even close to. But I left anyway. It was part of my endeavor to further my isolation.

The average person would start to wonder why, as they talk about the benefits of being in chat groups.

I just didn’t want to be one anymore. It kind of annoyed me that despite being in my own home, people have the power to be connected to me. And yes, some of these groups were toxic as they constantly gossiped non-stop.

It was liberating to leave them, that much I can tell you. It was a form of power to me. Not many people would dare to leave a group like that because of logical reasons, hence fear of what others may think.

Ignore the fear. Do what you want even if it seems minor or silly. Again, your life, your rules. If it’s minor and silly, then there’s no reason why it should have control over you.

3) Do not obey if you don’t want to

I’ve reached a point in my life where I constantly ask myself, “Why should I obey?” Or “Why should I do the right thing here?”

Because the followup is always, “I’m just going to be angry anyway.”

I know that sounds cynical, but the thing is I’ve taken little steps to watch out for myself now.

As I wrote about here before, being nice is not part of healing.

Doing the right thing or merely being nice may not heal you at all. But of course, this isn’t to say you go into the end of the spectrum and actively be a jerk to hurt others.

Just don’t say yes if you don’t want to. You can say no and reject people. You don’t have be nice all the time. Don’t even forgive if you don’t want to. Remember to be nice to yourself. Self-love is THAT important.

4) You can’t do nothing all day, so do the work

For a while I took solace in simply lying in bed to do nothing. I’d either surf the net with my phone mindlessly or take a nap.

But that only gave me a short burst of relief.

Things like that can only help you so much and in the long run, it won’t do you any good. I also read that relying on a small rush of dopamine, from say, surfing porn would affect you negatively in the long run.

That’s why you have to do the work. You need a sense of purpose.

So be it your business or passion project, find the will to motivate yourself to do the work.

You can’t ever be happy when you’re bored all the time. The boredom will eventually develop into something worse, like depression.

5) But sometimes, it is the human interaction that may be help you

Recently, I did something totally out of the norm, which was going to help my mom out in her office.

This was thoroughly different considering I’ve been working on business from home for years now.

And I had a such a good time despite helping her with mundane tasks.

It was there I interacted with her and also observed how she exchanged friendly banter with her neighbors.

It wasn’t just a distraction from my emotional troubles, but it made me realize how a little bit of human relationship can help. For example, a simple joke told to you out of nowhere that made you laugh can make you feel good instantly.

So it made me wonder: Could I be wrong? Am I too focused on myself and my problems? Could I need a complete change?

Maybe yes. Maybe no. But as with life, too much of anything isn’t great. This applies to everyone, introvert or not.

If you feel stuck with your problems, perhaps look around so you can get out there.

Hope this article helps.

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Alden Tan is a passionate breakdancer and writer. He writes about honest and real self-improvement without the bullshit. Get his free book already!

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