Everything you do in life, everything you try to achieve, all the actions you take, all the dreams you pursue… you do, because you think it will make you feel better.
Everything you do is motivated by the desire of moving away from fear, pain, worry, doubt… towards joy, courage, happiness, gratitude… Wherever you are, you will always try to feel at least a little bit better than you are feeling right know
But, what is happiness anyway? Most people don’t seem to have much of an idea. Are you happy? Many people I ask this question answer something like: “I don’t know, I guess I’m fine…”
This doesn’t sound very convincing to me. If you are really happy, there can only be one answer: A big and happy “YES” without any hesitation.
Is it really so strange to be happy?
Imagine you ask one of your friends or a work colleague how he is doing today and with a big smile he jumps into the air and shouts out loud: “I am so happy, you can’t even imagine…”
Wow, this would be somewhat weird. But, why? Because we are mostly a very unhappy society. We don’t smile a lot, except when a fake smile for a professional or whatever reason is required.
From morning until evening the mass media condition us to how terrible and bad the world has become. In order to be happy, some sheer insurmountable requirements need to be met: You need to have beautiful, slim body, great looks, a lot of money and at least a little bit of celebrity, otherwise – how can you be happy?
No wonder, that the majority of people in our society are so unhappy. But, the good news is, this apparent lack of happiness is only an illusion. Authentic happiness is part of your true nature and it can be accessed at any time.
Have you ever seen a documentary of people in third world countries? They starve from poverty and hunger, they need to work very hard just to survive, the children walk 10 miles or more to school every day… yet they laugh, sing and smile and they seem so much more radiant, happy and joyful than most people in our society.
How come? Because happiness doesn’t have anything to do with the current circumstances in your life. Happiness is an inner state of being and you can access it anywhere and at any time.
It is entirely your choice how you react to a specific event. You can say: This is terrible, this is really bad… and repeat it again and again in your head and fall into a negative spiral that gets bigger and bigger. Taking this path will block the access to your inner happiness and it will make your problems rather bigger than smaller.
Or, you can say: Not a big deal, it could be worse. I will soon find a solution and most probably I will even learn something important from this experience… This already feels entirely different, doesn’t it? And you remain connected with your inner joy that will guide you towards a solution.
Yes, it is possible to access your inner happiness under any circumstances and to move from the state of fear, doubt, worry… to courage, positivity, joy and even great happiness…
And here are 5 simple steps that will allow you to get there:
#1: Go on a Media Detox
We are constantly flooded with all sorts of negative information that keep us in a state of gloom and doom. At the same time, the media constantly tell us (directly or indirectly) that we need to have great looks, lots of money, popularity… in order to be worthy and respected in our society.
I recommend you take a healthy detox from all this negative mass media programming and start focusing on something positive, uplifting and joyful. Also, don’t let anyone tell you that you need to be skinny, have a big house and a boat… in order to be happy. Nothing could be further from the truth.
You already have everything you need to feel great and to be happy. Right now, this very minute you can let go all negative thoughts you may be holding on to.
Close your eyes and tell yourself: I’m alive, I’m wonderful, I love myself and I fully enjoy this moment… Doesn’t this feel great?
#2: Be Yourself
Most people are wearing masks. They try to adapt to everyone around them. Everyone tries to achieve the same things, to behave more or less the same way, to have the same dreams, to talk about the same topics… in order to be integrated and accepted in our society.
Unfortunately, those masks are like thick layers around the real YOU, the joyful and happy you. Over time, those layers may have gotten so thick that you completely forgot about this naturally happy part of you. Also, those masks are heavy to wear, they drain your energy and they make you tired.
You are perfect the way you are. Throw away those masks and allow the real you to shine through – no matter what others may think about you. At the beginning they may think you are strange, but somehow they will be attracted by your new energy and sooner or later they will also throw away their masks.
#3: Live in the Here and Now
What are you doing in the past? It’s long gone and whatever happened cannot be undone. You were happier in the past? Well, that’s an illusion. You cannot be happy in the past, you can only be happy now. It is always now, now, now… that’s all you have and there is nothing else.
Maybe you are worried about the future? Believe me, worrying about your future won’t allow you to create a happier future – it just doesn’t work like that. Or, you sacrifice your present happiness, to enjoy your life in 10 years when you climbed up the career ladder, made a lot of money, bought that big villa… This doesn’t work either.
The future is just one NOW that leads to another NOW and to another NOW…
If you decide to feel good NOW, there is a good chance that you feel even better NOW, and really fantastic NOW…
Your “future” happiness is a consequence of your NOW happiness!
Learn to live in the present moment and move into happiness now – do it right NOW.
#4: Practice Gratitude
Gratitude is an affirmation that your life is good, that things are going well, that in general you are happy with how your life is unfolding. If you focus on gratitude, you will attract more and more things into your life you will be able to feel grateful for and you will become happier and happier.
You think you don’t have much to be grateful for? Think again.
Maybe you have at least some of the following things: A roof over your head, something to eat in your fridge, heating in winter, the ability to walk, talk, listen and see, a supermarket nearby where you can buy pretty everything you need on a daily basis, a good friend, warm clothes, access to a local park, sunshine and a blue sky every now and then… and I could surely list a thousand other things.
Take 5-10 minutes every day to practice gratitude. While listing the various thing in your life you are grateful for, remain a few seconds with each point and feel joyful and happy about it.
Do this for a few months and it will completely change your life. Get started right now and I promise you will feel already so much better after only 5 minutes.
#5: Tell a Better Story
I know, it is difficult to move straight to happiness from a state of fear, worry, depression…
But, you can get to a state where you feel just a little bit better and then again a little bit better, and you take the next step to feel better and better and better… right towards happiness.
You do this simply by telling a different story.
Your story up until now may have been something like: “My life is terrible, I feel so bad, it is getting worse every day, there is no way out…”
Now, you simply change the predominant thoughts and beliefs in your head and you start telling a different story, like: “It could be worse, it surely will be easier in a week or two… at least I didn’t get hurt as badly as that guy I saw in the documentary yesterday… I take some time to relax, maybe I watch a comedy or I go for a walk in the park…”
Re-write your story right know and you will feel so much better immediately.
Never forget: Your true nature is joy and happiness, that’s how you felt as a small child and you can get back there again. Unfortunately, over time you accumulated lots of thoughts, ideas and beliefs that don’t really belong to you and that keep you from experiencing your inner joy and happiness.
Simply let go of those thoughts and beliefs that no longer serve you, pull away all those layers, and once again, allow your natural state of joy and happiness to shine through.
Robert Spadinger is the founder of EverythingIsWithin.com where he teaches people how to create a life that’s filled with love, abundance, happiness and success. If you enjoyed this article, you will also love his book: “How to Create The Life of Your Dreams”, which you can download for free from his website.
How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.