4 Fool-Proof Methods for Slaying Health-Sucking Vampires




We live in an age of vampires. And their numbers are on the rise.


No, I’m not talking about the blood-sucking ones (I leave those to Buffy and Blade to deal with). I’m talking about health-sucking vampires.


Health-sucking vampires are those twisted creatures that consciously or not drain us of our vitality, vigor, and overall well-being.


You’ve met these villains of vibrant heath already – those that criticize your health endeavors, those that mock you for yourhealth diligence, and those that would drag your health quality down to their unacceptable level.

It’s time to fight back. It’s time we become health-sucking vampire slayers!


1. Emotional Holy Water


Health-sucking vampires are nasty creatures. You certainly don’t want them to linger around for too long. But like any good tactician, your initial response to a vampire threat should be a controlled and measured one.


Enter emotional holy water – the delightful yet stealthy weapon against health-sucking vampires.


Let’s first explore how holy water works. Ordinary vampires are repulsed by any potent substance or symbol of genuine goodness. Holy water is the embodiment of that idea. And when sprinkled (or flooded) upon them, the vampires cringe and flee.


We’ll use the same approach when contesting health-sucking vampires. But instead of dousing them with holy water we’ll drench them in a bath of radiant and positive emotions.


This tactic is quite easy to execute. Simply share to the confrontational vampire how euphoric you feel when conquering health challenges. Convey how energized and confident you become when eliminating sugar-coma inducing foods from your diet. Vivify how magnificent it is to have near-limitless vitality for all the activities you love. And so on…


Such an emotional barrage has profound affects on humanoids – people and vampires alike. Both are hard-wired to be viscerally receptive to emotional arguments. So if you can effectively articulate the emotional benefits you reap from your life of vibrant health, then that positive force field will block the health-sucking vampires attack. Even better, they’ll recognize you as a powerful opponent and thus turn away in search of weaker victims.


You’ll slay most health-sucking vampires with emotional holy water. That’s the best of outcomes because you’ll have effectively regulated your energy output,minimized your stress, and also avoided using more contentious means.


2. Crosses of Conviction


Sadly, some health-sucking vampires will elude your emotional holy water dousing. If that’s the case then it’s time to break-out your crosses of conviction.


Vampires of traditional folklore cannot tolerate the sight and influence of religious crosses. The crosses are too pure for them to cope with. Why? Because such righteous symbolism conflicts with the very essence of a vampire’s vile treachery and outright wickedness.


Health-sucking vampires are equally sensitive to forces that conflict with their unhealthy spirit. Such conflict is a war of conviction – beliefs. Healthless vampires believe fabulous, joyful, and vibrant health is either unattainable or unimportant. This is toxic and seductive mindset that compels them to attempt inflicting others with it.


Your response to such health threats is an unleashing of your indestructible convictions forfearless health. Share your beliefs on why good health matters to you, how vibrant health makes you superhuman, and why healthlessness is a game for suckers.


The trick is to unleash these convictions in a positive and passionate manner. We don’t want an all-out war if it can be avoided. So don’t preach to the health-sucking vampire – merely convey the full extent of your healthy lifestyle beliefs.


The magic of purehealth convictions is that they’re rooted in ideals far stronger than the every-changing whims of vampires. Such health-sucking demons follow trends. They’re loyal to no one cause. That’s precisely why they’ll never be as tenacious and valiant as you can be.


3. Blasts of Audacious Sunlight


Alas, sometimes health-sucking vampires get past your onslaught of fearless health convictions. If that happens then it’s time to up your game and let loose some audacity! But before becoming theJames Bond of health, let’s first understand how this works.


Bright sunlight unnerves even the staunchest of conventional vampires. They wither at it’s presence and thus seek havens in the depths of darkness. The reason is simple – sunlight is raw and pristine energy.


Hitting health-sucking vampires with an equally concentrated dose of energy has the same effect. But with this breed of vampire, your audacity is your energy powerhouse.


Audacity, of course, is the apex of boldness. It’s not a force easily deflected or defeated. The thing with audacity though is that it only works at full-throttle. So if you have to get audacious with healthless vampires then don’t half-ass it. And by this point, it’s okay to be a bit edgy.


Precisely “how” you get audacious is up to you. Here are a few ideas – convey your sentiments for radiant health in absolute terms; contrast the status quo’s declining health standards with your own uplifting health spirit; verbally illustrate how your remarkable health is a gateway to euphoric life experiences unattainable by those less healthy.


Final tip – your blasts of audacity should be focused on you, not them. This keeps your audacity bold yet not fully antagonistic. As we’ll see next, shifting the focus onto them is the more provocative and lethal option.


4. Silver Daggers of Truth


If emotional holy water, crosses of conviction, and blasts of audacious sunlight haven’t fully rid your life of health-sucking vampires then it’s time to deploy your alpha-weapon – silver daggers of truth.


Daggers are the most direct and lethal means in your anti-vampire arsenal. Thus, they shouldn’t be used lightly. Consider them as the option of last resort or for first-strike attacks against exceptionally vile vampires.


Silver daggers of truth are so deadly due to a simple and universal reality – the truth hurts, and hurts a lot when they are inconvenient facts about you. If you need to escalate your attack to this level then don’t be ashamed to do so. Just know that you won’t be converting the vampires into your best-friends-forever.


So when launching your silver daggers of truth go for the heart. Call out how they’re subjecting themselves to suffocating amounts of health care costs and debts, either now or in the future. Share in no uncertain terms how their approach to life itself is more about talk and half-measures than actual substance. Nail them with the inescapable truth that their poor health promotes a destiny of unfulfilled dreams, forsaken opportunities, and maddening regret.


Yes, this approach isn’t for thefaint-of-heart. It’s a direct assault on them. Thus, use with caution and don’t have an itchy trigger finger. But sometimes you have to fight fire with fire.


Congrats – You’re Now a Health-Sucking Vampire Slayer!


Health-sucking vampires shall continue to live all around us. It seems that’s just a truth of the times, tragically.


And there are health-sucking vampires you may never be able to slay completely. But with these four fool-proof methods you’ll at least be able to keep those vampires at bay.


In the end, you have the ability (and now the know-how) to successfully take-on and defeat these creatures. And at a certain point, health-sucking vampire slaying may even become fun! Enjoy!


Author Bio:


Matt Gartland is a proud health geek, writer, world traveler, nonconformist, coffee fanatic, and more. He writes atHealthy Lifestyle Design where he unleashes his passion for audacious, remarkable and unconventional living powered by a vibrant healthy lifestyle. He’s also the author ofFearless Health – a manifesto for optimizing the human experience and changing the world.


Photo: Little Blue Hen


Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.

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