3 Ways to Rebuild Your Life When You’ve Hit Rock Bottom

“Thinking will not overcome fear, but action will.”

– W Clement Stone

In 2010 I had the best year of my life. By far.

And then in 2011, I had the worst year of my life. By far.

I was living abroad in China, living the life I had always dreamed about – full of adventure, variety, and spontaneity.  I had friends from 20+ countries all over the world. I learned to speak another language. I was constantly traveling. I had the closest friends I’d ever had since childhood.

In other words, life was the way it was supposed to be.

And then I moved back to my home country.

I had no friends.

No job.

No apartment.

I moved back into my childhood home because I couldn’t figure out “what next?”

And then, for the first time in my life, I got really depressed.

It’s a funny thing being depressed if you’ve never been depressed before – suddenly, there’s a wall of resistance around everything in your life.

Everything is so difficult. It takes so much effort. Every day is a struggle.

It overwhelmed my thoughts, and every waking moment I found myself driving around town thinking, “meaningless – all this stuff is totally meaningless.

I would apply to jobs but find myself thinking, “this is all pointless. Why am I doing this?” I sabotaged every action of mine.

Naturally, when you view everything in life as meaningless, it becomes that way, and I was really struggling. And that’s when I decided I was tired of being worn out by this constant feeling of hopelessness.

It took me more than a year to piece this together, but I found 3 things that successfully flipped the coin for me – three things that saved me.

1. Create a happiness ritual

When you’re rebuilding life from the ground up, every day is filled with chaos.

So one of the key things I did for myself was create a “happiness” ritual. It added predictability and stability to my life.

I wrote down a list of all my favorite things throughout the day, and here’s what I found I enjoyed most:

  1. Sitting in coffee shops reading with an afternoon espresso.
  2. Exercising. It turned off my mind and made me feel good.
  3. Kayaking in the ocean. It was a peaceful afternoon session where I could enjoy the outdoors and peace and quiet.

So I had three key activities as part of my happiness ritual, and I made myself do them every day.

The key for me was to figure out how to fill the day with the stuff you love.

Even if it’s just a few things that take an hour, create your own daily happiness ritual and do it every day.

2. Do a 30 day experiment

The second thing I did was try to figure out when I was in flow throughout the day.

Flow is an experience we’re all familiar with – time evaporates, the activity is enjoyable, and we’re learning and growing – but many people don’t know that in studies it’s been shown that Flow producing activities are often the highest highs of the day for many people.

So I did a 30-day experiment – I set a timer on my phone to go off every 2 hours.

When the timer went off, I had to write down two things:

  1. What was I doing?
  2. Did I feel like I was in “flow” with whatever I was doing? Was it enjoyable, was time passing effortlessly, was my mind turned off?

At the end of 30 days, I had tons of information about activities that I naturally was engaged in and super happy without even knowing it.

For example, I learned that freelancing with some clients was actually a high point during my day. I left our meetings with energy and excitement.

I also learned that talking with people was flow producing. As an introvert this was a bit surprising, but just casually talking with people about life consistently put me in flow and was a high.

These were all things I didn’t know 30 days before.

Once I found out which activities naturally made me happy, I began filling my days with more of them.

3. 80/20 Your Problems

The last thing I did was fix the “nagging” issues that bothered me.

In other words, what things were making me the most unhappy throughout the day? What were the main things affecting my mood?

I nailed it down to a few things:

  1. Loneliness. I had no social ties.
  2. Work I disliked
  3. Certain time periods – weekends, and late nights

I then viewed each thing as a problem that needed creative solving.

So for example, I found myself constantly craving social interaction.

Rather than staying at home, I started hanging out in a café in the mornings. Over time, the people began to recognize me, and friendships naturally developed from there.

Since I was relaxing (or sometimes working) in the café, if I wanted to take a break from reading I could find people to talk with. Even if it was quiet, I was surrounded by people.

My work was also un-enjoyable and I wasn’t feeling engaged. I had way too much time to be thinking. Over the coming months I gradually shifted jobs to a startup with a more relaxed atmosphere filled with people I got along with.

Last, my flow test taught me that certain periods of the day were really low for me. Late nights after work at home alone and the weekends (when I had a lot of free time) were the lowest lows.

So I scheduled activities that filled those gaps – I started taking Judo in the evenings.  I started a meetup.com group on the weekends and started taking day trips into New York City to see museums.

I viewed everything in my life making me miserable simply as a puzzle piece – it was something I could creatively fix, rather than just something I had to deal with.

As time went on, one day someone came up to me and mentioned how “happy” I seemed.  I hadn’t really thought of it, but it was true.  The pieces had all started coming together.

What about you?

At some point, many of us end up at the lowest low in our life. Nothing seems to work. Nothing is enjoyable. There’s resistance everywhere.

Just remember that there’s always a creative way to get back on path. And maybe these three ways – having a happiness ritual, doing a 30 day flow experiment, and doing an 80/20 of your nagging problems – will help you get one step closer back to a life you love.

And don’t ever forget – we are far more resilient than we think. Just because last year might have been the worst year of your life, doesn’t mean this year can’t be the best.

Alexander runs Modern Health Monk, which helps people reverse health problems caused by 21st century life. Check out his free 8-part weight loss mini course, or start with his free insider’s health kit.



Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.

48 Responses to 3 Ways to Rebuild Your Life When You’ve Hit Rock Bottom

  1. I went over this internet site and I believe you have a lot of fantastic info, saved to fav (:.

  2. Stephenpep says:

    buy generic viagra online cheap generic viagra viagra 100mg

  3. GeorgeTef says:

    viagra 100mg price online doctor prescription for viagra discount viagra

  4. GeorgeTef says:

    is there a generic viagra buy viagra online generic viagra india

  5. JeremyUrgem says:

    cialis or viagra cheap cialis coffee with cialis

  6. EdwardOpeta says:

    how much does viagra cost generic viagra without a doctor prescription canadian pharmacy generic viagra

  7. Samueleledy says:

    is it illegal to buy prescription drugs online cheap pills online new erectile dysfunction treatment

  8. Rogergaisk says:

    generic viagra india buy ed pills online where to buy viagra online
    foods for ed

  9. Rogergaisk says:

    viagra over the counter usa 2020 buy generic drugs viagra online usa
    the best ed pills

  10. Rogergaisk says:

    viagra without a doctor prescription usa canadian pharmacy viagra 100mg viagra
    canada ed drugs

  11. Rogergaisk says:

    viagra for men online buy viagra from canada cost of viagra
    ed pills that really work

  12. PeterATROX says:

    hard erections cialis buy tadalafil cialis erection penis

  13. PeterATROX says:

    can you have multiple orgasms with cialis generic cialis for sale warnings for cialis

  14. I just want to mention I’m new to blogs and actually liked you’re web-site. Almost certainly I’m want to bookmark your website . You absolutely come with amazing articles and reviews. Appreciate it for sharing with us your website.

  15. ThomasFub says:

    buy prescription drugs without doctor ed pills online pharmacy ed trial pack
    medicine for erectile

  16. ThomasFub says:

    ed treatment review ed meds online without doctor prescription best medication for ed
    best ed pills

  17. ThomasVah says:

    where to buy ventolin canada pharmacy ventolin

  18. Roberttup says:

    instant online payday loans payday loans online fast deposit

  19. Roberttup says:

    cheap sildenafil sildenafil pharmacy

  20. Roberttup says:

    cheapest sildenafil sildenafil online

  21. Roberttup says:

    cheapest sildenafil buy sildenafil online

  22. Douglasgot says:

    ed men https://sildenafilxxl.com/ canadian online pharmacy viagra

  23. BrianSlupt says:

    ed causes and treatment generic drugs generic viagra without a doctor prescription

  24. BrianSlupt says:

    generic names for cialis and viagra cialis generic cheapest cialis

  25. BrianSlupt says:

    canada price on cialis buy cialis warnings for cialis

  26. BrianSlupt says:

    canadian pharmacy generic viagra buy viagra online best place to buy generic viagra online

  27. BrianSlupt says:

    pet meds without vet prescription canada canadian drug stores generic ed drugs

  28. BrianSlupt says:

    30 mg cialis what happens cialis safe alternatives to viagra and cialis

  29. Philipvax says:

    non prescription erection pills: best ed pills ed prescription drugs

  30. Philipvax says:

    buy ed pills online: ed dysfunction treatment vacuum pump for ed

  31. DanielGog says:

    prescription drugs online without doctor buy cialis in canada online dog antibiotics without vet prescription

  32. DanielGog says:

    zithromax 250 mg australia zithromax cost australia buy zithromax online fast shipping

  33. DanielGog says:

    generic zithromax medicine zithromax prescription buy zithromax canada

  34. DanielGog says:

    zithromax prescription zithromax azithromycin cost of generic zithromax

  35. DanielGog says:

    natural ed cures canadian drugs without prescription how to overcome ed naturally

  36. DanielGog says:

    best ed pills buy viagra online canada pharmacy 100mg viagra without a doctor prescription

  37. DanielGog says:

    zithromax for sale us zithromax buy online no prescription zithromax antibiotic without prescription

  38. d4e says:

    最近、女性のボディセックス人形を購入することを選択すると、本物の女性のように見える人形がいくつか手に入ります。 ダッチワイフ 激安

  39. This web site definitely has all of the information and facts I wanted concerning this subject and didn’t know who to ask. Sex Doll Blog

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.