3 Self-Confidence Secrets To Instantly Stop Feeling Inferior

It’s soul-destroying, isn’t it?

Feeling inferior transforms every day into just one more crushing experience.

Another day on the sidelines losing hope that you’ll never get your turn to shine, or even fit in.

It leaves you consumed with self-disappointment.

It’s no wonder you feel insignificant, inadequate, a total bother to others.

Inferiority is a hideous place to be. Oh boy, it’s hell.

I was trapped there for the greater part of my life, until my thirties. Then I decided to work out what made me feel so much less confident than everyone else.

Thankfully, I beat inferiority into submission.

So let me show you how to coax your self-confidence out of the corner and say howdy to your positive self-belief.

1. Gain Self-Confidence By Being Your Self.

Find your self-identity and find your self-confidence.

Self-confidence. There’s a clue in the word. It’s self confidence, not some other person‘s confidence. Once you start being yourself, you will stop feeling inferior in any situation.

Remember, the only thing NO ONE on this planet can do better than you … is be YOU. Only Dr. Seuss put it much better:

Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You!”

Or if you prefer:

Oscar Wilde said, “Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.”

No, I don’t know you, but I can promise if we ever meet, I will prefer you as the authentic you. You are doing the world a disservice by hiding your true self.

Secret to self-confidence #1:

You will always be a poor imitation of anyone else. Stop hankering after being someone you’re not. Be yourself. Be unique.

2. Know That Inferiority Is A Choice. So Is Equality.

So the first thing we need to be clear on here is that feeling inferior is normal. Why? Because it shows that you aren’t deluded.

Let’s be honest; most of us are inferior to someone in some way.

Last time I checked my bank account, I was financially inferior to most people on the Forbes 400 list – ok, everyone on the list.

You see, the need for validation is a normal, healthy aspect of being human. But seeking validation by comparing yourself to others is a poor tool for building self-confidence. There will always be areas where you feel inferior, rightly, or even wrongly.

Why? Because most of us have a tendency to focus on the negative, which translates into noticing our perceived inferiorities and overlooking our strengths.

So unless your actual life aim is to be richer than Bill Gates or Warren Buffett, stay away from comparisons in all fields.

By refusing to compare yourself to others, you’re choosing equality over inferiority.

Remember, no one on this earth is less important or valuable than any other human being … unless they decide they are.

Secret to self-confidence #2:

Stop comparing yourself to others. Focus on your own ideals when measuring your strengths and weaknesses. We are all as valid as each other in our own way.

3. Take Yourself Out Of The Equation.

What? Having told you to find your self-identity and be yourself, I’m now telling you to forget about you altogether?

Not exactly.

What I’m saying is that when confronted by someone who has previously left you feeling inferior, focus on them and them alone.

Leave yourself outside the door.

By devoting your full attention to the other person, you will have the headspace to hear what they are honestly saying, at the very heart of their words. Listen hard; you’ll hear their own fears, worries, insecurities and disappointments articulated.

You’ll have the capacity to clearly observe their body language. Watch carefully; you’ll see their own nerves, stress points, frustrations, and deep-down desires acted out.

They will inadvertently reveal the real them, right there, laid bare in front of you. And you know, you probably won’t recognize them as the superior being you previously held them up to be.

In fact, you’re more likely to see them as a person, just like you. An imperfect human being. Equal maybe, but not superior.

Secret to self-confidence #3:

Take yourself out of the equation. Focus on the other person, and see what imperfections they reveal. You’ll find a vulnerable human being, just like you.

Get rid of your feelings of inferiority once and for all

Small, simple changes to your thinking can break the negative cycle of feeling inferior for good.

Imagine feeling confident talking to anyone.

Imagine feeling part of the group, a valued contributor.

Imagine never pretending again. Imagine actually being YOU.

Stop letting your feelings of inferiority overpower you. Fight back with these powerful tips to give you the self-confidence you need to rock your world.


Laura & Mark Tong love people, pizza and positivity. They are on a mission to help you declutter your mind and life of stress and strife. Download their Resource Guide: 5 Free Mind Decluttering Tools that Simplify Your Day and Make You Excited to Roll Out of Bed in the Morning


Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.

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