We each are traveling our own paths, some experience a personal discovery, or revelation, early on in life while others are much later. Sometimes maybe not at all.
The path we have traveled thus far was traveled for a reason and the change you desire to have is actually waiting for you.
This I wholeheartedly believe in, though, I can only say that now, I wouldn’t have agreed with this one year ago. I saw things differently then.
Then, I looked at the experiences that were causing me such pain as why me. I placed blame on others, I regretted choices that were made. I dwelled on the inconvenience, the pain, it brought me. I filled my head with chatter and replayed various scenarios on how it should have unfolded.
All of these thoughts took me down a deeper and darker path.
Then something happened.
I reached a point of realizing that the path I was traveling was not healthy; both physically and emotionally. I was highly stressed with intense anxiety and pains in my chest. I was beginning to become disconnected with myself and with those around me.
I set out on a journey of self growth. I sought change.
The failures I experienced are now seen from a lens of gratitude. Not knowing then, but they are the exact experiences that have shaped me into who I am today. They are the exact experiences that have led me to this commitment in traveling a journey of self growth.
Those painful experiences are the exact experiences I needed, to change.
The biggest realization about change for me was, I had the control to do it. Nobody was going to grant me permission to change.
It was a matter of choices.
I chose to approach each day wanting to be a better version of myself than I was the day before. I chose to be intentional about the things that occupy my time throughout my day.
It’s so profound to look back at the pain I was feeling was all caused by how I was seeing things—the world, my own space, life—and that I could change it.
I saw an opportunity to rewrite my past, so I ran with it.
What I mean by rewrite is not necessarily changing the past, but rather, changing the lens in which I view the past.
It was a simple shift in mindset that allowed me to rewrite my past.
Here are 3 intentional actions that will provide you space to rewrite your past, your story:
Spend time with just yourself. Become one with your thoughts and the present moment.
This practice allows feelings and emotions to surface. Surrender to them, give yourself permission to expose them.
Often times what causes stress and anxiety are the ramblings in our own head. Most of which our counterproductive; they’re useless. They scatter down rabbit holes that don’t even exist.
Eliminate all of the unnecessary head chatter and focus on the things that do matter, the things that you can control.
This was the very first thing I did. I wrote, a lot.
I would write about things I wasn’t able to talk about. I opened up the vulnerability vault and began to dust off the deep and dark pockets of who I am. I would write about things I didn’t even know existed; not until that pen hit the paper. I wouldn’t know what I was feeling until I would write.
Being honest with yourself and making the decision to express your vulnerabilities will allow you to accept your flaws, to take responsibility for your mistakes and to own your failures.
This begins to free your soul. Your most authentic self becomes exposed and it begins to shape the lens in how you see things.
Reading helped me immensely. I read books that moved me. I read about other people’s journeys, their stories. This gave me the confidence to change. This gave me perspective on my own life.
One of the most beneficial feelings that aspired from reading about other people’s journey is that it provided me with a sense of connectedness, that I wasn’t alone in the pain I was feeling or the thoughts I was having or the questions I was asking. Though the paths and context of our stories are different, the feelings can be the same.
The deeper you go with how you feel, the more universal the feelings.
This made me realize that I wasn’t alone; that it was okay for me to feel this way. It was then up to me to change. To physically and emotionally set out on this journey of intentional self growth to reinvent myself, or to shed the outer layers in becoming who I actually was.
When you choose to take care of yourself first, growth and change can surface. Commit to traveling a journey of intentional self growth to rewrite your story, and more importantly, to be the author of your story at this very moment and the moments going forward.
Are there moments in your past that you wish you could rewrite?
Eric Ungs is the founder of the Unless You Care project. Writing about an intentional journey of self growth, nudging you to let go; to give yourself permission to be vulnerable and honest with yourself so you can give your best self to others. Author of 10 Incredible Ways to Live a Fulfilling and Joyful Life ebook. Get your free copy here.