My post from a couple weeks back on the beauty of sadness opened up a great discussion about the difference between sadness and depression and the merits of accepting sadness vs. treating it with prescription drugs.
On a very related note, I recently came across an interesting article on the tendancy of unhappiness in intelligence people. The author (a sociologist) claims that unhappiness develops in childhood, primarily because of Western cultures lack of esteem for intellectual values.
Children develop along four streams: intellectual, physical, emotional (psychological) and social. In classrooms, the smartest kids tend to be left out of more activities by other children than they are included in. They are “odd,” they are the geeks, they are social outsiders. In other words, they do not develop socially as well as they may develop intellectually or even physically where opportunities may exist for more progress.
Their emotional development, characterized by their ability to cope with risky or stressful situations, especially over long periods of time, also lags behind that of the average person.
Adults tend to believe that intelligent kids can deal with anything because they are intellectually superior. This inevitably includes situations where the intelligent kids have neither knowledge nor skills to support their experience. They go through the tough times alone. Adults don’t understand that they need help and other kids don’t want to associate with kids the social leaders say are outsiders.
Interesting stuff, although I’m not sure I completely agree. It’s nice to know that if you’re prone to the occasional bad mood, it’s only because you’re too smart to be happy. 
Interview for The Happiness Project
Also, if you’re interested in checking out more of my thoughts on happiness, I recently did an interview with Alex Shalman for his series, The Happiness Project. If you have moment, leave a comment. The interviewee with the most comments wins $200 for charity.
(9 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
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Awesome. Thanks for mentioning this John =)
An open invitation to all the readers here, you are very welcome to answer the interview questions on your own blog. If you do not have a blog, I would love it if you would share them in the comments here, or over at my site under John’s interview.
Enjoy! =)
“[Too] smart to be happy.” That is actually a good way of putting it. I agree that society’s lack of appreciation for intellectual values tends to isolate intelligent people.
There is, I think, much more to it than that. Often intelligent people are simply unable to enjoy the bliss that accompanies ignorance (which would include blind acceptance of a society’s core values.)
The semi-autobiographical novel “Steppenwolf” by the Nobelist Herman Hesse illustrates this point beautifully.
Steppenwolf is an amazing book. I read it last year and strongly identified with the main character, although my suffering/isolation is much less extreme.
smart people tend to be unhappy because they are faced and put upon more responsibilty than the avergae person, they see things and understand things a dumb or average person may not see or understand.. for example most smart people will see problems in areas, and also positive in ares others cannot see this brings along extra responsabilty, cause what you dont knwo or notice doesnt brother a person.. also most of the worlds majority is average people, so smart people find it harder to find someone on their level of understanding… and the main problem is smart people can see there is problem with the world and that most people today are infact wrong, and destroying each other and the world.. avergae and dumb people dont quite understand or realize the full pottentials of our actions… a smarter person understands the out some of most actions… people that live the happiest lives are down syndromes, simply because they have less responsibilty and understanding of the world, and this works in order so, then a average or dumb person can find happiness alot easier also and less pressure and responsibilty….. but the intelligent people are less understood… and have the hardest times…. its easy for a clever person to understand a dumb person, but a dumb person will never understand a smart person, hense thats why they are dumb…. i can go on forever there are millions more reasons than these… being smart is a gift… genius is a god given gift!!!
From my observations, intelligent people often have a tendency to over analyse certain people, situations, etc.
The ability to “switch off” and just enjoy the moment is a key to happiness in my opinion. This is completely different from ignorance btw.
I would agree with your point about over analysis, especially if you tend to over think potential problems and can’t appreciate positives.
Definitely different than ignorance, but I also think the point about ignorance helping people be happy is valid. Imagine, for example, someone who has no idea about the U.S. economic problems compared to someone who is constantly fretting about it.
thanks for the interesting post! i think highly intelligent people are sometimes unhappy because they are more aware of stupidity and absurdity around them…. best, brad
Also, they are more inclined to see ‘patterns’ - connecting events and realizing something similar happened before - because they tend to hide in reading and history - based on that, you can become rather good at predicting outcomes…
I believe the interests of intelligent people cause problems for them as well. While many intelligent people may be interested in some of the same topics, it is difficult to find social activities associated with them. Thank goodness for dorkBot!
On the other hand, there is no end to non-intellectual social activities (especially for women, imo) such as scrap booking parties, jewelry making, chick flicks and the like. As a reasonably intelligent woman, I find most of these activities boring and do not think that someone is an artistic genius because they can twist wires and stones together. Quite frankly, I often see other womens’ hobbies and think, “Meh, I can do that.” Try it out for fun if I’m interested and move on. Other women seem to oooh and ahhh as if these activities are the holy grail of female achievement.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not some elitist snob, but these activities just aren’t appealing. I enjoy being with friends, but often leave parties wondering what is wrong with me that I’m unable to play along. I love to read books, but (book clubs notwithstanding) that isn’t a social activity. I think it is similar to men who aren’t into sports, they are often left out of conversations and activities b/c the main topic is sports related.
Perhaps, by being excluded from activities, the intelligent “geeks” found other things to occupy their time that have a more independent bent. If these become their main interests, then the social activities are phased out as the geeks pursue their passions.
That’s a really interesting point about the nature of social activities. For guys it is largely the same, with many group activities being sports or entertainment oriented.
For me, the most intellectually stimulating activity is good conversation. Although very social, it can be very hard to find.
And, yet, I’m in the top .3% on IQ, and I love quilting, scrapbooking, beading, crochet, chick flicks, tv, Artemis Fowl books, and many other “non-intellectual” activities. I am, like you, often unimpressed by the “artistic talent” I see, but life isn’t always about excelling…sometimes it’s just about doing something you enjoy, something that makes you happy, and being proud of yourself for doing your best.
I’m curious as to what constitutes “the interests of intelligent people”. Most of the people I associate with are highly intelligent, and we/they seem to be interested in the same sorts of things as people of average intelligence. Frequently, our interest in the area simply runs deeper.
It seems to me that being highly intelligent only separates me from those of average intelligence if I am condescending, lack empathy, or am otherwise unable to successfully interact due to my own inability to be present and connected with another human being.
Great post, though I’m not sure I agree with the citation regarding child development and lack of nurturing in intelligent children. I think more intelligent people tend to be unhappy because they are usually more bored with things. It is more difficult for them to find something challenging and engaging or fulfilling. When one is intelligent, it’s also easier to get frustrated with others when they don’t meet an intelligent person’s high expectations.
I felt sort of the same way about the passage. Although I didn’t agree completely, I still thought it was interesting and worth discussing.
I’m with you on boredom. That was the definition of my high school experience.
Not to toot my own horn here, but as I WAS one of the more intelligent ones in my class (Gifted Program, reading and comprehending at a high school level before Kindergarten, etc.), I say that I’d have to agree with the premise here. In fact, were it not for my VERY supportive parents, I might have been less satisfied with school than I already was. As it were, most of my friends were ALSO Gifted students, and we were known as the “preps” and “pre-college”.
I say I agree, because teachers DO tend to think that if you know more about one subject, then you most likely are ahead in ALL subjects, which is TOTALLY false about all of the Gifted students I’ve ever known. Most are a little ahead in many subjects, but some of us still struggled in classes (mine was Math, and mostly because of teachers who didn’t know how to teach me). And there is nothing more frustrating than to feel disappointment from the adults in your life, particularly when the disappointment comes from YOUR failure to understand something.
Another problem is that teachers often don’t take into account learning styles - yes, some people CAN sit in a lecture and get a lot out of it, but for some of us, it’s like sitting in a Charlie Brown cartoon - “wah-wah-wah”.
But the biggest part of unhappiness comes from the feeling that they ARE different - for example: I understood at a VERY young age how to make relationships work - that it takes kindness, understanding, and communication - yet I didn’t fit in with my classmates when it came time to date because, frankly, most high school boys aren’t looking for a REAL relationship - that doesn’t come along in most guys until they hit their 30’s and 40’s (or if they’re lucky, at LEAST 25). I dated, but not very many guys, and not very often, and was told by a good guy friend that many guys said I came off as overbearing. But my understanding was that I didn’t have time to date for no reason, that dating was to find the person you wanted to marry, and that dating anyone else wasn’t worth my time.
Now, I’ve married a FABULOUS man, and we have an intelligent daughter. My parents were helpful in that my mother encouraged me to go out and try things, and that my father helped me build my self-esteem by teaching me that being my own friend and loving myself first would help me through times when it seems that I can’t get on with anyone else. We’re both introverted, but I can go places with my (extroverted) hubby and (extroverted) daughter, and talk to only a couple of people, and still feel like I enjoyed my time.
Hi John, I haven’t been at you site for awhile. It is looking good.
Intelligence is word that to me is unclear. Intelligence as a measure of scores on tests is only one kind of intelligence. There is emotional intelligence, physical intelligence and much more as you probably know.
“People are about as happy as they choose to be.” Abe Lincoln
I think happiness is much more related to how we think about ourselves and how we learn to view the world.
Keep up the great content, you are a real asset to the blog world
Joseph
www.ExploreLifeBlog.com
www.peace-together.com
Interesting topic (and one that apparently resonates with a lot of people!) Why does unhappiness in childhood carry over into adulthood, when we have the resources to do whatever we want? Simply force of habit?
Readers may want to check out “When Gifted Kids Don’t Have the Answers” - it’s aimed toward parents and teachers, but reading it prompted a lot of retrospective “a-ha!” moments for me.
Just a thought - but I wonder if “intelligent” people; or I think more to the point, intellectually-minded people are not less happy or more happy than others, rather they did not develop the social skills to mask their unhappiness to the world as well as others?
Happiness is very difficult to read from an position of observation.
I’m sad! I must be smart!! Right!? Anyone here play world of warcraft? I’m on Illidan, hit me up! Tailor LFW!!
It’s the story of my life, with overanalysis included.
I couldn’t disagree more. This piece of writing you’re referring to is a short article, self-published, ending with an advertisement for some scared parents who want their children to be smart and happy.
It is neither peer reviewed nor properly published nor a study. It lacks any references to actual research.
Maybe there are more famous smart unhappy people than famous stupid unhappy people. However, that could be because of them being famous or known for their intellectual achievements.
It is a nice hypotheses. Looking at the comments here, many of your readers seem to be drawn to it. That’s a start, an idea, to conduct a study on this, nothing more, let alone scientific evidence.
As I said to the guy who wrote the bit on intelligence and unhappiness, the research doesn’t back up his opinion. It sticks in my craw that this bit of unsubstantiated opinion has moved past his own website into the greater internet.
Check out the positive psych research by Chris Peterson, Marty Seligman, et al. Individually, an intelligent person may be depressed, but, as a group, intelligent people aren’t more or less happy in any statistically significant way than less intelligent people. In fact, the vast majority of people, regardless of intelligence level, are more happy than not the vast majority of the time.
I was tested at age four and am supposedly a “genius.”
I would say that I started struggling with happiness as an adult. I think some of the reasons behind that was the fact that being a smart adult is not valued as much as being a smart child, and that as an adult, there were no longer the same social support systems that are in place for gifted children.
Sometimes I feel very lonely because I have no one to share my interests with, and people often come to me for solutions and not much else. That, to me, has been most disappointing of all.