My post from a couple weeks back on the beauty of sadness opened up a great discussion about the difference between sadness and depression and the merits of accepting sadness vs. treating it with prescription drugs.
On a very related note, I recently came across an interesting article on the tendancy of unhappiness in intelligence people. The author (a sociologist) claims that unhappiness develops in childhood, primarily because of Western cultures lack of esteem for intellectual values.
Children develop along four streams: intellectual, physical, emotional (psychological) and social. In classrooms, the smartest kids tend to be left out of more activities by other children than they are included in. They are “odd,” they are the geeks, they are social outsiders. In other words, they do not develop socially as well as they may develop intellectually or even physically where opportunities may exist for more progress.
Their emotional development, characterized by their ability to cope with risky or stressful situations, especially over long periods of time, also lags behind that of the average person.
Adults tend to believe that intelligent kids can deal with anything because they are intellectually superior. This inevitably includes situations where the intelligent kids have neither knowledge nor skills to support their experience. They go through the tough times alone. Adults don’t understand that they need help and other kids don’t want to associate with kids the social leaders say are outsiders.
Interesting stuff, although I’m not sure I completely agree. It’s nice to know that if you’re prone to the occasional bad mood, it’s only because you’re too smart to be happy. 
Interview for The Happiness Project
Also, if you’re interested in checking out more of my thoughts on happiness, I recently did an interview with Alex Shalman for his series, The Happiness Project. If you have moment, leave a comment. The interviewee with the most comments wins $200 for charity.
Awesome. Thanks for mentioning this John =)
An open invitation to all the readers here, you are very welcome to answer the interview questions on your own blog. If you do not have a blog, I would love it if you would share them in the comments here, or over at my site under John’s interview.
Enjoy! =)
“[Too] smart to be happy.” That is actually a good way of putting it. I agree that society’s lack of appreciation for intellectual values tends to isolate intelligent people.
There is, I think, much more to it than that. Often intelligent people are simply unable to enjoy the bliss that accompanies ignorance (which would include blind acceptance of a society’s core values.)
The semi-autobiographical novel “Steppenwolf” by the Nobelist Herman Hesse illustrates this point beautifully.
Steppenwolf is an amazing book. I read it last year and strongly identified with the main character, although my suffering/isolation is much less extreme.
smart people tend to be unhappy because they are faced and put upon more responsibilty than the avergae person, they see things and understand things a dumb or average person may not see or understand.. for example most smart people will see problems in areas, and also positive in ares others cannot see this brings along extra responsabilty, cause what you dont knwo or notice doesnt brother a person.. also most of the worlds majority is average people, so smart people find it harder to find someone on their level of understanding… and the main problem is smart people can see there is problem with the world and that most people today are infact wrong, and destroying each other and the world.. avergae and dumb people dont quite understand or realize the full pottentials of our actions… a smarter person understands the out some of most actions… people that live the happiest lives are down syndromes, simply because they have less responsibilty and understanding of the world, and this works in order so, then a average or dumb person can find happiness alot easier also and less pressure and responsibilty….. but the intelligent people are less understood… and have the hardest times…. its easy for a clever person to understand a dumb person, but a dumb person will never understand a smart person, hense thats why they are dumb…. i can go on forever there are millions more reasons than these… being smart is a gift… genius is a god given gift!!!
blessed hah its a burden a total and huge mess of a burden and somtimes i just dont want to take it any more T-T and i dont know where to go to go talk to some body theirs nothing to do and i need some major help pls somebody help me T_T pls somebody help me …
From my observations, intelligent people often have a tendency to over analyse certain people, situations, etc.
The ability to “switch off” and just enjoy the moment is a key to happiness in my opinion. This is completely different from ignorance btw.
I would agree with your point about over analysis, especially if you tend to over think potential problems and can’t appreciate positives.
Definitely different than ignorance, but I also think the point about ignorance helping people be happy is valid. Imagine, for example, someone who has no idea about the U.S. economic problems compared to someone who is constantly fretting about it.
thanks for the interesting post! i think highly intelligent people are sometimes unhappy because they are more aware of stupidity and absurdity around them…. best, brad
Also, they are more inclined to see ‘patterns’ – connecting events and realizing something similar happened before – because they tend to hide in reading and history – based on that, you can become rather good at predicting outcomes…
I believe the interests of intelligent people cause problems for them as well. While many intelligent people may be interested in some of the same topics, it is difficult to find social activities associated with them. Thank goodness for dorkBot!
On the other hand, there is no end to non-intellectual social activities (especially for women, imo) such as scrap booking parties, jewelry making, chick flicks and the like. As a reasonably intelligent woman, I find most of these activities boring and do not think that someone is an artistic genius because they can twist wires and stones together. Quite frankly, I often see other womens’ hobbies and think, “Meh, I can do that.” Try it out for fun if I’m interested and move on. Other women seem to oooh and ahhh as if these activities are the holy grail of female achievement.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not some elitist snob, but these activities just aren’t appealing. I enjoy being with friends, but often leave parties wondering what is wrong with me that I’m unable to play along. I love to read books, but (book clubs notwithstanding) that isn’t a social activity. I think it is similar to men who aren’t into sports, they are often left out of conversations and activities b/c the main topic is sports related.
Perhaps, by being excluded from activities, the intelligent “geeks” found other things to occupy their time that have a more independent bent. If these become their main interests, then the social activities are phased out as the geeks pursue their passions.
That’s a really interesting point about the nature of social activities. For guys it is largely the same, with many group activities being sports or entertainment oriented.
For me, the most intellectually stimulating activity is good conversation. Although very social, it can be very hard to find.
I completely agree. As a child, I was always best in my class, which made me very isolated and shy since people would constantly reject me. All you grow up having is your intelligence and your passions. It is difficult to cope with some situations which other people find easier to cope with; I am prone to stress always and keep over-analyzing events, people and things. There’s simply very little awareness that intelligent people need other types of support. I am bored to death by ‘female’ activities; and as I don’t drink and smoke, I feel left out of a lot of social situations. I also find it very hard to relate to people my age (I am 24) as I usually don’t have their interests.
And, yet, I’m in the top .3% on IQ, and I love quilting, scrapbooking, beading, crochet, chick flicks, tv, Artemis Fowl books, and many other “non-intellectual” activities. I am, like you, often unimpressed by the “artistic talent” I see, but life isn’t always about excelling…sometimes it’s just about doing something you enjoy, something that makes you happy, and being proud of yourself for doing your best.
I’m curious as to what constitutes “the interests of intelligent people”. Most of the people I associate with are highly intelligent, and we/they seem to be interested in the same sorts of things as people of average intelligence. Frequently, our interest in the area simply runs deeper.
It seems to me that being highly intelligent only separates me from those of average intelligence if I am condescending, lack empathy, or am otherwise unable to successfully interact due to my own inability to be present and connected with another human being.
While people of high intelligence have a tendency to desire intellectually stimulating activities, they can also find enjoyment in a simple tactile activity. One think I don’t think was pointed out well in the article is that there are multiple types and areas of intelligence, such as social intelligence. A less popular type of IQ test is the EQ or emotional quotient, mainly the persons ability to feel a complete range of emotions and feelings and general awareness of social interactions. High EQ people are very uncommon, and you won’t see someone with a genius EQ and IQ in your lifetime (most likely), because the experiences they needed to have both are pretty much opposite each other, i.e. social interaction vs lonely contemplation. Anyways, myself being a decently high IQ person, I enjoy playing around with computers. However my favorite part is the tactile experience of putting them together.
Great post, though I’m not sure I agree with the citation regarding child development and lack of nurturing in intelligent children. I think more intelligent people tend to be unhappy because they are usually more bored with things. It is more difficult for them to find something challenging and engaging or fulfilling. When one is intelligent, it’s also easier to get frustrated with others when they don’t meet an intelligent person’s high expectations.
I felt sort of the same way about the passage. Although I didn’t agree completely, I still thought it was interesting and worth discussing.
I’m with you on boredom. That was the definition of my high school experience.
Not to toot my own horn here, but as I WAS one of the more intelligent ones in my class (Gifted Program, reading and comprehending at a high school level before Kindergarten, etc.), I say that I’d have to agree with the premise here. In fact, were it not for my VERY supportive parents, I might have been less satisfied with school than I already was. As it were, most of my friends were ALSO Gifted students, and we were known as the “preps” and “pre-college”.
I say I agree, because teachers DO tend to think that if you know more about one subject, then you most likely are ahead in ALL subjects, which is TOTALLY false about all of the Gifted students I’ve ever known. Most are a little ahead in many subjects, but some of us still struggled in classes (mine was Math, and mostly because of teachers who didn’t know how to teach me). And there is nothing more frustrating than to feel disappointment from the adults in your life, particularly when the disappointment comes from YOUR failure to understand something.
Another problem is that teachers often don’t take into account learning styles – yes, some people CAN sit in a lecture and get a lot out of it, but for some of us, it’s like sitting in a Charlie Brown cartoon – “wah-wah-wah”.
But the biggest part of unhappiness comes from the feeling that they ARE different – for example: I understood at a VERY young age how to make relationships work – that it takes kindness, understanding, and communication – yet I didn’t fit in with my classmates when it came time to date because, frankly, most high school boys aren’t looking for a REAL relationship – that doesn’t come along in most guys until they hit their 30’s and 40’s (or if they’re lucky, at LEAST 25). I dated, but not very many guys, and not very often, and was told by a good guy friend that many guys said I came off as overbearing. But my understanding was that I didn’t have time to date for no reason, that dating was to find the person you wanted to marry, and that dating anyone else wasn’t worth my time.
Now, I’ve married a FABULOUS man, and we have an intelligent daughter. My parents were helpful in that my mother encouraged me to go out and try things, and that my father helped me build my self-esteem by teaching me that being my own friend and loving myself first would help me through times when it seems that I can’t get on with anyone else. We’re both introverted, but I can go places with my (extroverted) hubby and (extroverted) daughter, and talk to only a couple of people, and still feel like I enjoyed my time.
Hi John, I haven’t been at you site for awhile. It is looking good.
Intelligence is word that to me is unclear. Intelligence as a measure of scores on tests is only one kind of intelligence. There is emotional intelligence, physical intelligence and much more as you probably know.
“People are about as happy as they choose to be.” Abe Lincoln
I think happiness is much more related to how we think about ourselves and how we learn to view the world.
Keep up the great content, you are a real asset to the blog world
Joseph
http://www.ExploreLifeBlog.com
http://www.peace-together.com
Interesting topic (and one that apparently resonates with a lot of people!) Why does unhappiness in childhood carry over into adulthood, when we have the resources to do whatever we want? Simply force of habit?
Readers may want to check out “When Gifted Kids Don’t Have the Answers” – it’s aimed toward parents and teachers, but reading it prompted a lot of retrospective “a-ha!” moments for me.
Just a thought – but I wonder if “intelligent” people; or I think more to the point, intellectually-minded people are not less happy or more happy than others, rather they did not develop the social skills to mask their unhappiness to the world as well as others?
Happiness is very difficult to read from an position of observation.
I’m sad! I must be smart!! Right!? Anyone here play world of warcraft? I’m on Illidan, hit me up! Tailor LFW!!
It’s the story of my life, with overanalysis included.
I couldn’t disagree more. This piece of writing you’re referring to is a short article, self-published, ending with an advertisement for some scared parents who want their children to be smart and happy.
It is neither peer reviewed nor properly published nor a study. It lacks any references to actual research.
Maybe there are more famous smart unhappy people than famous stupid unhappy people. However, that could be because of them being famous or known for their intellectual achievements.
It is a nice hypotheses. Looking at the comments here, many of your readers seem to be drawn to it. That’s a start, an idea, to conduct a study on this, nothing more, let alone scientific evidence.
If you want to help somebody out, use a nicer tone please. Harshness is completely unnecessary.
As I said to the guy who wrote the bit on intelligence and unhappiness, the research doesn’t back up his opinion. It sticks in my craw that this bit of unsubstantiated opinion has moved past his own website into the greater internet.
Check out the positive psych research by Chris Peterson, Marty Seligman, et al. Individually, an intelligent person may be depressed, but, as a group, intelligent people aren’t more or less happy in any statistically significant way than less intelligent people. In fact, the vast majority of people, regardless of intelligence level, are more happy than not the vast majority of the time.
I was tested at age four and am supposedly a “genius.”
I would say that I started struggling with happiness as an adult. I think some of the reasons behind that was the fact that being a smart adult is not valued as much as being a smart child, and that as an adult, there were no longer the same social support systems that are in place for gifted children.
Sometimes I feel very lonely because I have no one to share my interests with, and people often come to me for solutions and not much else. That, to me, has been most disappointing of all.
Happiness is the radiance of an untroubled soul. It is the sum of our dispositions rather than our circumstances and because of this we, in theory, are solely responsible for our individual level of happiness. I find it saddening that some of the self-proclaimed geniuses who have replied to this post seem to generalise people into classes of ‘dumb’, low intelligent and high intelligence. Not keeping an open mind to everyone’s outlook on life may have perhaps been one of the reasons why your levels of contentment aren’t at their optimum.
I tend to agree that western society (especially at young ages) lacks a lot of respect for those who are intellectually flamboyant and instead tends to outcast them. Is it possible that someone who has (for example) a rare talent at mathematics may tend to lack skills in other areas like sociability? This is certainly true in forms of autism. The reason behind the conception of the ‘geek’ as the social-outcast is most likely due to the common traits that these mentally skilled people often have.
In my opinion, finding happiness is largely about self-actualisation. This may perhaps be more difficult for those who ponder, analyse or generally think about things a lot because from these thoughts insecurities, negativities and discontentment can emerge and I think that this may play a big part in ‘more intelligent’ people feeling generally less happy. I do feel that in me is the ability to rise above all of these unwanted bi-products – this is self-actualisation… For some it is playing the blues!
As an extremely intelligent person, I thought I’d try to give my perspective on life. I remember the last time I had lasting happiness. I was 9 years old. Then I became the victim of societies aggression and hatred toward those that are different. I had to calculate my daily activities and monitor myself to keep from being a further target of abuse. I even pretended to be less capable than I actually was. This unfortunately drew me farther away from the only few individuals who were like me. I need only look in their eyes to see the bond of trust that resembles similar intelligence, it is an awkward thing to describe to those that have not experienced it. I lost trust in humanity as a whole. For a long time i was depressed and isolated. I had convinced myself that love was the answer. Though i found it impossible to get any girl to like me. I think perhaps my social skills were just not developed. I was always the odd one, but far from unattractive. Yet at the age of 15 i was given no choice.. my dream of happiness was ripped out of my mind. Mental illness that ensured i would never feel pleasure, a warm touch, or any feelings again. I think of the joy and possibilities left behind in my shattered life if i had been someone else. At that age i decided to leave behind this world of stupidity and embrace my intelligence with books, and skills, it is my obsession because it is all i have left. Am I unhappy? most of the time I’m too busy to think about whether I am happy or not. Briefly for a few moments i am happy when i think of those that i teach and help, possibly for the rest of the time i am sad. Yet I fully know what would bring me happiness. Perhaps that is the most important step. Freedom from this set of circumstances, the freedom to choose my life. To see my world ignite with prospect and desire for intelligence instead of stupidity, self gain , and vanity. I work everyday the hardest I can for those things, even though i may get depressed, even though i may be too weak to continue. I was given the gift of knowledge and I must use it to help others even if they care nothing for me and wish cruelty upon me. This is my life and I’ve come to accept it. The rewards of life are at the end of the journey not the beginning.
To me , honestly i am so small comparing with the smart people. It is so hard for me eventhough i know myself not a smart person, but still i don’t seem really work hard. i believe whether or not you are smart, as long as you are really working hard, one day you can be considered to be smart. People will respect your determination, a strong spirit of hard working person.
Hi All,
I agree with many people who posted, but I didn’t read everything, as I don’t have the time.
I’ll try to keep this short LOL
Like Jesse, I think a lot of people feel I’m overbearing, but I never equated that to intelligence even though I do know I’m above average in intelligence, but maybe not for the same reasons most of you are.
I barely graduated HS, never went on to post secondary, can’t be classified a nerd or a geek, I’m what I call a learner of life.
I also learned only a couple of years back that when I say intelligence, I’m not just talking left brain (there are a few different forms of intelligence), I’m also talking about intuitiveness.
I don’t know my IQ & I would probably score very low since math & science aren’t my things, but I can read people’s feelings (sometimes b4 they even know what they are feeling), & I often have them lie to me b/c they won’t admit their truth, or how they are feeling.
I’m not a social butterfly, far from it, but I try to work on that weak side of me b/c I don’t care what anyone says, very intelligent people do far worse most of the time, then people who have a very high EQ & I know I don’t have that.
I did use to over analyze people, now I moved on from that b/c I’m spiritually conscious & haven’t been into psych since ‘90.
Because of my spiritual growth (not talking religion here), I’ve gone from one step to another learning about who we really are as humans. Finally about 3 years ago I started to learn about energy & “HAPPINESS”, of all things.
LOL, I remember the first time reading my first book on happiness & getting angry b/c the authors said Happiness is a choice. I scoffed at the idea that I could control my feelings, & happiness. : )
Thank god (I say that as a figure of speak, I don’t believe in god, I believe in the Universe) I continued to study & finally about 1-1 1/2 years after I read that book, I realized that happiness is a choice, & we are the only ones responsible for our happiness & of course our reality. I’m still studying the reality part, it’s hard to undo brainwashing from others : )
So while I agree with everyone who said that us intellects notice things more than average or below average people do (I know that, agree, etc.), what I’m trying to do is set aside more of my left brain & concentrate on enjoying life more just like Peter said – live in the moment.
I wasn’t able to “live in the moment” the way spiritual books & some people were teaching me, I found it very hard, so I guess I went around in circles a few times b4 I found my own way of dealing with it & I stopped trying to force myself to live in the moment & instead started concentrating more on my connection to the Universe b/c that’s where you get the happiness from.
Trying to draw energy from other humans is exhausting, makes people feel uncomfortable & somewhat abusive/intrusive even though the person drawing may not realize that is what they are doing & the person giving it up is also being proactive even if they are being passive about it.
I was a very very happy child until I started being abused first by parents, then by students & it went down hill from there, so I’m very happy that I’ve found the answers for me & I have had a lot of moments where I feel very childlike in my happiness which is great.
Don’t get me wrong, I can still be very critical b/c I used to notice everything (my attention to detail is quite high), but it’s decreased some over the years & that may be a good thing.
I still do have a problem speaking to moronics (sounds better than morons). I just can’t help myself. I can end up figuring out the solutions to their company’s problems & I don’t like wasting my time, so I’m still working on how to relate to the average human (any suggestions are welcome), b/c one thing I really need is someone who “gets” me, not after 20 times LOL, but the first time.
That doesn’t mean I’d trade my brain for anything in the world b/c I love my brain (& I’m always trying to love myself more).
I know I have a very old soul, but like someone else stated, it’s been hard for me to find people I feel compatible with, but that is where creating your own reality comes into play, so I’m working on that every time I feel like it.
For me healthy above average communmication skills is paramount, & I tend not to learn this area that is so crucial to human development, b/c by the time I start to feel close to someone via the phone, they start to run away, or the signs are there for me it won’t work. I also tend to talk way too much b/c I don’t have enough friends, so I vent quite early on & a lot of people can’t handle that.
I do seem to have the same issues others have like getting bored easily (that’s why I’m an entrepreneur LOL & need people who constantly keep my brain active & they love having fun too).
I do have a dual personality & while others may have that too, I find most people don’t admit they do, or they are unaware of it.
For example, I can be serious one minute, laughing & joking the next.
I can sit home & relax, but in a relationship get bored if we aren’t out having fun.
I can work all day, or on some days just want to veg.
I have no favorite music, actor, author, singer, type of food, b/c I’m too diverse.
I’ll stop now : )
I hope I sort of answered the premise of the post about happiness vs intelligence. I don’t believe for one minute that we can’t all be happy if we set our minds to it. : )
I wish everyone all the best & MUCH happiness in their lives.
Michelle
It’s funny how a few people who posted here started with how they are really “intelligent”. Like they always have to prove their worthiness first before making a mark. Maybe that’s what separates the happy people from the others. People who are always afraid of rejection and are overly conscious about their actions will find it very hard to be happy.
All through school I was the target of bullies and found myself pursuing hobbies that could be done in a solitary environment – computers and photography. The darkroom at high school provided me both a rewarding hobby and somewhere to hide during my lunch break.
Now, later in life I find myself struggling with personal relationships. Two years ago I seperated from my partner of 18 years, I would have left sooner but I felt that my two sons needed, for some time at least, a stable ‘normal’ home environment. They were 12 & 13 when I left.
The things that caused the breakdown of my relationship in that relationship are the same things that are causing me problems in the one I am currently in. Both my former and current partners exhibit the same traits – the hardest for me to deal with is apathy. I find that I can’t sit still. I have too many things on the go at once and I bounce from project to project. (How many here can identify with that?) I’ve not found anyone who can cope with me doing that.
The other big thing is my partners inability to understand that I enjoy learning new and different things – where as they are happy to simply sit and watch tv. It was said of my previous (18 year) relationship that we grew apart. I agree with that in part – but somehow I feel that I kept growing whereas my partner decided that she had gained all the knowledge she wanted and spent the rest of her time being entertained by the TV, she chose not to grow with me. Unfortunately, I can now see the same traits in my current partner.
I suffer from depression and quite often feel lonely – even when I have my partner with me. I struggle at times to have a conversation with her.
Hi Sascha,
While I agree that really intelligent people have to be constantly learning, the agitation is more about inner peace & IMO, that has nothing to do with intelligence.
If your partners always feel you are moving around, then they probably never feel connected to you & while I’m a strong believer of having alone time in any relationship, I personally could never be in a relationship where I don’t feel connected to the other people. That has been my challenge, most humans don’t truly let me in, they are too scared, especially when I can connect very deeply beyond the superficial, so I have always felt alone in any of the few relationships I’ve been in.
You are probably moving around jumping from project to project b/c you aren’t settled internally. Letting go of bullying is hard. Even years after school (I’m 42 now), In the past 2 years I went to a few huge biz seminars & during one in particular, no one came up to me to talk to me, out of the entire 1,200 people, I was pretty much the only one standing there & I couldn’t understand why, so there are still times when I feel like an outsider just like in school. This is why I still continue to strive for building relationships with like minded people & facing my fears b/c I will get nowhere continuing to hide.
I can’t tell you how to feel inner peace, that is something you need to figure out on your own, not for your relationships, but for your own inner self.
If you want me to recommend some books to you that have helped me (I’ve been studying spirituality [not religion] for years), then you can e-mail me.
Wishing you all the best & much peace within : )
Michelle
I have so much brainpower and so little to use it on. I’m so socially isolated from my dissatisfaction with the indifference and insipidity of nearly everyone around me that I’ve developed bipolar and schizophrenic tendencies. I have serious problems communicating with people my own age, and even adults too (I’m 20). I’m quite socially underdeveloped, but I’ve been working on it.
I’ve been near suidice in the past few months because I can’t stand this isolation anymore. I’m a college student, majoring in music ed, and I cant connect with most of the people I meet because none of them are at my level of maturity. Nor can I find common ground in interests.
Another problem intelligent people face is advanced emotional maturity. I’ve been this way for years and while I know its a blessing in some ways, I want to forget all the hard experiences I have had and still am going through that made me so jaded. When you cant find people who are able to deal with your skewed age, intelligence, and emotional maturity levels, you pretty much go insane. I’m going insane!
If anyone has any advice I’d love to hear it because I’m at the end of my rope here. If I don’t find some smart people soon my already deficient personality will crash and burn.
Smart people are unhappy because they see the world for what it really is, a cruel and mean place. That said there is alot of good and noice people in the world… but there is still a heap of mean things going on
yes its true,, average people also see the world for what it is, but they are unable to see the routes of the problems,, they also know there is a problem, but they are not as strong mentally to be able to put into action what they want to do,, so the become sheep.. intelligent people often are not sheep because they can see the flaws of it,, but this can also be a downfall and is often why most intelligent people dont succeed, because the average is the masses and the status quo, so what the average see as right is right.. and the average person is unable to understand a intelligent persons point of thinking or view…
but yes most smart people can see the flaws in the world and see how bIG the issue actually is, so most intelligent people often want to make a change in the world..
people that created the lightbulb, computer nerds, top musicians, or anyone that is intelligent care about making a change,,, but in a world where only 2% have the mind to do this,,, it makes it a far fetched target..
intellgent people seem to be more individual, and less reliant on people because they are mentally strong enough to wrok and deal with things themselfs,, however average are unable to deal as well, and tend to become sheep just to make life easier, and also take their problems out on other people without the ability to reconize the consequences until after its done…
if a average person came across this page they would more an likely be filled with hate and call us ignorant,, arrogant, and big headed… but i know as well as any other intelligent person in this forum,, its not spoken in that light at all…
however i do not consider people that simply done well at school to be intelligent.. these people may have been forced by parents, to study hard and they never really done anything else but study,, so they spent alot of time studying.. so they are very smart in the areas they study,, but are flaws in other areas…
i see someone who is intelligent or genius, to be able to do anything, that other people can do better and in a quicker amount of time…
they say if you dedicate yourself to any one thing, you can become a genius in that area,, and i believe so most definitely,, however, i also believe this would take a average person their whole life,,, or many years of dedication,,, where as the gifted can do that thing and become just as good, majority of the time better in a few weeks or months,,, sometimes even days….
and these are the people i consider gifted…
this can go for anything, practically or mentally.. because even physical things is about brain speed and coordination
Sigh.
There really isn’t such a thing as someone smarter or dumber, it’s only a matter of someone’s mind-speed and capacity tolerance. ” Intelligent” people have faster and deeper thoughts only because they are attuned to delve into that speed and that depth and feel un-alive, being any less complicated. ” Dumb” people or ” average” people, have minds that chill the fuck out. ( To be frank. I’m tired of caring about eloquence here.)
If you develop intelligent interpersonal skills ( and stop blaming your ostracized past, and lack of gifted and talented school programs, and yadda yadda), you will find that as a HUMAN BEING, you can, indeed, connect to ANY other human being.
All you have to do, is alter your language, or the way you communicate the said ” intelligent” interests, and ideas you’re so starved to share.
I’m sorry if I sound so rough here, it’s just that I’ve been through everything everyone is saying, and have actually found too many like-minded people that have completely put my heart and soul through a damned guillotene, because of their UNWILLINGNESS, to lower their pride ( you cannot love and be such an elitist at the same time, no matter how exceptional the other person is, or unexceptional) , get off their ” intelligent” high horse, put aside their ” intelligence related rejection”, and just
fucking
live. feel. trust. ENJOY.
Instead of compete and compete and defend in a rather desperate attempt to connect on a meaningful level.
You can have meaningful connections with plenty of people ” lower” than you, if you just learn how to relate to somebody’s BEING. If you stay open minded, and child-like enough, to FIND something absolutely beautiful and astonishing about their minds–no matter how different they are from yours.
There is sheer beauty, peace, and absolute genius in the minds of the “simple”, us ” intelligent” people should be very admiring of!
I was labeled a child prodigy growing up, and had a slew of expectations to remain so from teachers, peers, parents, and myself, and I am not saying I cannot commiserate with the isolation, defilement, identity and personality confusion or depression everyone here has talked about. I can, whole-heartedly.
But there is a point where you have to stop classifying everything into one category or another, in yourself, and everyone around you, if you want to claim a means to a more free spirit. Smart people tend to be petrified to be happy, because something about happiness and ease, rubs against every grain put in place to be “smart”.
People like ” us” tend to be the dumbest people ever when it comes to freeing ourselves from our OWN extrication and imprisonment, we totally and utterly rob ourselves from what would make us happy—-which is letting GO.
I’ve yet to meet anybody intelligent capable of sharing themselves in a way that isn’t purely objective and scientific, and if you ask me, the most important intelligence anybody can acquire as a human being, is intra and interpersonal. If you cannot connect with the world,
look within yourself first, before you point at the rest of this place as ” average” and not good enough for you and all that relative bullshit.
You can learn from ANYBODY. Even those said “dumb” people who watch tv all day and get joy out of making bracelets or whatever activity that doesn’t stimulate you enough.
There is a place for stimulation, and there is a place for rest. You can stimulate yourself, and it isn’t impossible to meet anybody like-minded ( this entire website is proof that you are not alone) and maybe where happiness lies for those with minds that are so fast and so deep, are places where your mind slows DOWn. You just have to let it, and trust that you can speed it up elsewhere.
That is when your social life will start looking a lot better for you, but until your expectations are set to be having a bunch of mind-soulmates floating around everywhere, you may even find those mind-soulmates, to find that they cannot fulfill what your heart needs to feel good.
Stay true to yourself, but also put those brilliant minds of yours ( which I’m sure everyone here has) to good social use.
You can’t even begin to do that, when the only thing you hold onto, is sad resentment for the way you’ve been so unlucky or islolated.
Take responsibility, and quit that pride, if you don’t want to feel lonely anymore.
We create our realities, just as much as we become a product of them.
what your saying is what a dumb person would say,, there is no such thing as a dumber person or a smarter person… REALLY!!! what you said there is retarded right away..
so yes you are what I stated as a person that is forced into doing what he done at school by parent pressure, or whatever reason, and you became good in that area because you studied alot in it, so thats why people called you a child prodigy,, but as you grew up you realized yourself you cannot keep up with their expectations and your not a prodigy at all,, am i right??!!
what makes you think i am unlucky and isolated,,, me growing up i never hardly studied i didnt do well in school, not because i werent good enough, but because i wanted to have fun,, i had an amazing childhood, just doing what kids do being a bit naughty at times… but i never really knew my talent,, or that i was more intelligent or better than other people at things,, i really didnt have a clue,, cause what was me was me… and i assumed everyone was the same… its only as i gotten older that im starting to grow up and think about life,, and also learn forom how people have reacted to me as a adult, and in the past,,, that i realize people are not like me,, and often cant do what i can… and that people dont understand me.. or see what i can see…
i never said i was alone but genius’s or talented or gifted however you want to put it are always isolated because of the status quo, so alot of them choose to be alone, and also like it better that way,,
science is not fact,, i dont believe in science cause its lies, i believe in GOD evolution is the biggest pile of bullshit… however dont try and undermine my inteeligence now by claiming i dont believe or like science at all.. cause doing that simply undermines yours..
so thanks for you trying to explain to me how i can have not be isolated,, i am not, and know exactly what to be and how to be,, i was the popular kid at school also because i had fun…
but what i am saying is NOW i often choose alot of solo projects, because i consistantly have bitter jealous people around me trying to make me fall…
i also realize that we need people,,, noone can be in the world alone, we need the help of others at least once in our lives… but i know what is useful for me and what is useless…. and friends that are going to make me spend the rest of my life doing nothing and getting nowhere is useless!!!
do you get my point
also, —in leu of you being completely condescending, to point something out:
the FIRST sentence I wrote was
” there is no such thing as being smarter or dumber”
…and then your first sentence was ” what your saying is what a dumb person would say,, there is no such thing as a dumber person or a smarter person… REALLY!!! what you said there is retarded right away..”
I laughed really hard then, because not only did you obviously not at all read what I wrote and just take it as a complete ATTACK since you completely attacked back, but you were rude as fuck along with it.
I don’t think GOD taught you that, did he.
I’m sure you’re justified in everything you’re saying, and I’m not gonna tied up in semantics here,
but maybe people ” try to make you fail” or get bitter or what have you
because you’re an asshole.
think about it.
and don’t respond to me about either, cause I will not only not read this website again but it’s a moot point.
Genius.
that doesnt mean i am cold and dont love my friends,, but if you look at it another way if they loved you and was true to you,,, owuldnt they accept that you want to become a better person??? instead of getting insucure that i am no longer acting like a sheep and have my own mind,, and no longer just agree with them even though i know their wrong,,,, im sure youve heard the term “your just lying to make friends” cause thats what ppl do, especially in western society,,, if you are honest with a friend they often call you two faced or even a liar… because they only want you to tell them what they want to hear,, by being honest i dont mean being nasty,, because people often take being honest out of context,, (well the liars do)
and its also intersting to meet people that are NOT like you,, because that brings abotu new ways of looking at things,, this has nothing to do with intelligence, sometimes the dumbest person can come up with the greatest ideas,, this is what i mean!! and also the dumbest person can be the most loyal friend you can ever find,, i dont judge people that way and your getting it all wrong by thinking that…
the problem is people dont fully understand me,, often i think to fast speak to fast and normal converstaion can bore the life out of me, when people talk about rumours, that are malicious or how much they are looking forward to getting bladdered on the weekend,,, to me thats like you dont that 50 weeks on the run,, what new are you learning? before ya know it theyll be 50 and still doing the same stuff and only knowing the same stuff..
i want to find what lifes about the meaning of life, im always growing, and everyday i understand more and more.. and weather you acknoledge this or not,, the people you spend alot of time with can rub off on you and you can become like them…
hang with a angry person youll become angry, hang with a dumb person you become dumb… that is unless your not a sheep,, and it wont affect you… but then if your unwilling to drop what YOU STATE AS PRIDE!!! you wouldnt be able to become friends….
its not pride its what jesus teaches about not being like everyone else, SHEEP..
tan—
I wasn’t talking to you in my post. I didn’t even get to read your comment, I was referring to all the people who kept saying they can’t find something that fits.
And your whole sheep thing blew my mind, because I’m not talking about becoming , or aspiring to being sheep-like and ‘just like everyone else’, I just said to not let how unique and different and “faster” your mind is, to pull you away from experiencing things that are different from it—-which, I see, from what you’ve said, you don’t do, which is good.
You can still stand by yourself without standing IN FRONT of people. THAT is what I meant by pride. Not relinquishing your identity all together and turning into something else to be friends and gage yourself.
It just means not setting your expectations , ( all the time) for like-mindedness, for you OWN sense of well being.
there are plenty of people who get bored fast and think fast and want to delve into deeper meanings of life, like you, it just takes some digging to run into them.
All I’m saying is, that won’t be the perfect solution, even when you have it, and as great as it is to be ” understood”.
Ultimately intelligent people question the hell out of everything too much to ever be satisfied with any answer, and they rotate around doubts ( which is why they are such intellectuals in the first place)—all I’m advocating, is not letting that gift, hurt you, in the end, in very subconcious ways. All I’m saying is to not have that limit you.
not YOU, in specific. I don’t know what you do or don’t do, so you really don’t need to get so defensive.
I’m talking pervasively.
right ok if you didnt reply to me thats fine, but i received a message in my inbox telling me someone had writen on here,, after i replied to your first comment.
i totally dont agree that you think there are no smarter people, and in fact its just how they think,,, scientists have been trying to do this for years,, genius kids have been like lab rats to them cause they are trying to uncover the secret to becoming a genius,,
the fact is you are born that way,, so yes there are smarter people…
not to say average or intelligent people cannot become great at something with pure dedication, but a average person if commited his whole life to one subject or area, could become a genius in that field,, but in every other area he is just average..
a smarter person can pick things up alot quicker,, and also work things out for himself…
there are many types of people when it comes to intelligence
there are group 1, the people that never learn after their mistakes, no matter how many times they are told, they keep doing the same thing,
then group 2. people that are told 1 ,2 or 3 times and understand,
and group 3,, where they know before it even happens..
and trust me there are people out there so dumb they keep making the same mistakes in life, cause they are not intelligent enough to learn,, kinda like why i think cats are smarter than dogs,,, cats learn things and pick things up and remember it,, they learn on their own,, a dog is told what to do and needs direction…
and if you put both of them structures into a human,, the way the cat thinks is the intelligent person.. thats also why cats are solitary or isolated too..
also intelligent people tend to be good hearted,, thats one of the main reasons why its so hard… they care too much about others, when other people care about themselves and only really have you in their life cause they dont want to be alone…
where as intelligent people are more pure hearted…
this is a very interesting fact it think!!
do the gifted understand something the sheeps are too blind to see????????
i dont think the whole sheep think is out of context i hope it blew your mind in a good way, cause like you said you agreed with me… people are sheep can you really be with people that live a life you dont agree with and not become like them??
what happens when you get into a situation where there are drugs,, and you know what friends are like, if they have it, you all gotta have it…
what about if they bully a person you like??
i dont think you can without changing,,, no matter who your with you eventually have to give in and mutually agree on things maybe you didnt agree with,,, you start talking about it and then before you know it,,, youve comformed and start believing what you didnt in the first place…
thats natural human behavior we imitate our friends and people we communicate with,,
but agree that you trying to give out a positive message to people, but the fact is life is the way it is, we have ups and downs, we have times when we enjoy life so much, and times when we even want to die.. but without good there is no bad,, and intelligent people there are no dumb people…
everyone in the world plays their part, and its about finding who you really are!!! and playing your part
i’m sorry but i don’t agree with the smart kid is gonna have depression/or chronic sadness just because he didn’t make any friends or get picked to play soccer. if the kid wants to make friends and play sports then he needs to get the hell out there and do it, u cant tell me that smart kids can’t make friends and fit in, because i have known many people much smarter than me have more friends than me and there never depressed. its the persons own fault for not trying to accomplish what will make him happy so there for they did it to them selfs
Testing throughout my life has resulted in me being mapped at genius levels. I’m not sad, but surprised that more women have not wanted to mate with me. That would make me happier.
I will not be starting this post with whether or not im considered gifted/smart/intellectual or if i have the IQ and attention span of a household gnat.
It seems to me that a few people posting on here would fare a tad better in the happiness department if they were a bit more humble.
When you go around flaunting your intelligence, always correcting people or showing them up, it gets on their nerves a good portion of the time. People will find themselves less and less inclined to spend time or converse with you. They start to initiate contact with you only when they need something that they can’t figure out.
So instead of being ready and willing to constantly throw out “Well technically I’m a genius” or “I’m above average/an intellectual/extremely gifted” just live your life, do what you love, try on a little humility for size and leave it at that.
AMEN
Intelligent people, defined by any one of the many intelligences human posseses, including, but not limited to intellectual intelligence, understand the more they learn the more untilligent they truely are, hence, if you were one of the above who proclaimed their intelligence, you actually just categorized yourself otherwise, I gues ignorance is bliss. I think the few simpleton articulations of what an intelligent person deals with in life highlights the frusterations that arise at the intersection of diffent complexities of minds and intelligence, moreso for the intelligent mind. This stream has just highlighted why simplicity and ignorance is bliss for me.
[...] with no words, the eyes can reveal a lot about someone. A person who is trying to hide his unhappiness can never really pretend to be happy without people noticing it. The eyes can tell stories that are [...]
hai ..you all are idiots ..talking about intelligence ,to show your language skills.
Intelligence means living happily without conlflict in oneself and with others.
in my opinion, intelligent people tend to become unhappy due to many factors. one is the family, some parents give their child a high expectation or what we often call high standards, as a result, the child tends to focus on his studies so that his parents would be pleased which oftentimes becomes the reason why he neglected to explore his social life. another is the peer factor, most of the time, an intelligent person is avoided by some because they feel that intelligent people were some kind of a boring person who dedicated his life on his studies, and that they cannot get along with the intelligent because they cannot match his abilities (that is what we call “insecurity”) the last one that i can mention is the self-problem, most of the time intelligent people wishes for more and more knowledge (thirst of knowledge) in which they neglect to notice that they were driven too much of this “curiosity”, which imply the situations wherein these people tend to exaggerate a simple problem.
Like this one, prove that this message is not existing!
Intelligent people, I am challenging you!!
I believe that are muli-variables involved in whether or not someone is “happy.” First, what exactly is “happy?” People are looking for a constant state, but it doesn’t exist. We have happy and unhappy moments. The percent of each varies from person to person, but it isn’t based just on IQ or even mostly IQ. Much has to do with how a person was raised. Are they overly critical of others? This is usually a learned behavior and contributes to more unhappy moments. Intelligent people can take their intelligence and learn how to be more accepting of those less intelligent. They need to be taught to appreciate their gift, but not expect others to be like they. Hope this helps a bit or pushes someone in the right direction. Embrace your talents, whatever they may be, and don’t expect others to be like you. Good luck.
I find it interesting that the sociologist states “Not enough study exists to quote on this subject”, because I did my Senior Capstone paper on whether or not intelligence is a good predictor of depression.
I’ve come across many people who I feel aren’t that intelligent who get depressed, so I doubt this has any direct correlation to intelligence level. Maybe EQ, but not intelligence.
Depression can also stem from lack of nutrients in the body (one factor, not all factors).
Just my pov.
Thanks
Michelle
Thank you so much for your article! I am not a genius, but intelligent and I continue to be unhappy. I read your article and it made me feel better that my knowledge is what makes me unhappy. Plus, I got a laugh from the logic of it. Thank you!
That’s because you’re normal. Happiness is just moments. It’s not a state. People are unhappy because they expect to have those highs more often. Well, people, sorry, but that isn’t how it works. Treasure those rare moments of happiness and remember, we know they are happy moments because we experience the unhappy. Happy doesn’t exist without unhappy. It’s like a balancing act.
Depression and I.Q whilst not necessarily being joined at the hip seem to be related more often than not and I think it comes down to having more understanding the world and potentially the universe than the average joe and therefore creates more stress for the individual or at least that is the case for myself personally. Its also a major cause of frustration for myself personally trying to communicate with people who do not understand the subject matter I try to communicate to them. I can completely relate to the Poster “Km” as I am Male and have interests such as Computers & Technology rather than sports and I find it extremely hard to get on with other men who seem to exists solely to watch sports, drink beer and live a very average lifestyle. I have had few friends thus far in my lifetime and despite several women telling me I am attractive the grand total of girlfriends for me personally stands at 2 with neither relationship lasting more than around 6/7 months. I have a secret lothing for those people who say such things as “you just need to do what everyone else does” and “you just need to try harder” because I know personally in my situation that is complete bullshit. I just hope one day that I will be able to move into a community, town or city where I know more intelligent people on a personal level.
Actually “House” had an episode on last week that dealt with this very issue.
The patient had an off the charts high IQ, & it turned out that he couldn’t handle not being able to relate anymore, so he started taking cough medicine & a shot of alcohol to numb his brain cells. That’s when he met his current wife.
Once in the hospital after they cleared it from his system, he went back to his previous intelligence level & started drawing complex math & when he tried to explain it to her & she didn’t get it. He started to feel depressed again & her lack of intelligence annoyed him.
In the end once House figured everything out, he said go for the numbness b/c he could relate to the patient & he knew he really loved his wife.
I used to do this with pot. I could relate a lot better with humans if I was stoned although even then it was difficult.
It’s no way to live & we should embrace our talents & who we are.
Since so many people on here have trouble finding like minded people, I suggest people contact one another & see how they get along.
I am always open to making new friends.
My intelligence probably isn’t the same as some of yours on here, but I welcome anyone who wishes to contact me & get to know one another as friends first with no expectations.
My personal website should be attached to what I wrote.
Happy Holidays! Be Happy & find Peace Within : )
Michelle
hey people,
that is one hell of a good and insightful discussion. i would like to take anyone’s opinion….
I have a problem conforming with people because i live in a fake and superficial community that is only marked by appearances.
If you are good at pretending, then you are one of the key players of the game.
But whenever i am with most people i feel detached and i am suddenly in the observer mode, seeing the top view perspective with no involvement.
It is my faith in myself, my faith in God and some little voice of wisdom that keeps me going on my life journey without looking back. I cannot deny that i am still learning but I thank our creator for all the blessings that i have. If you feel unhappy, think of all the blessings that God gave you and think that things could have been alot worse.
Thank you all, i hope the dose was not concentrated
Creative people are on their own plain. If they try to express themselves, peoples eyes glaze over. If they try to appreciate other peoples’ whims, they are quickly bored and frustrated. Cliche’ phrases, predictable humor, football games – creative people evolve beyond that.