Be the master of every moment
You are the master of your mind and only you can decide what you’re feeling. Don’t let other people put you down with their words and actions. You have the decision to give in to their misery or to remain unaffected and pleasant.
Think of them as giving you a present; inside of it is a little misery. Your mind has a choice to accept it or not. Without accepting the present, what happens to the present? It remains with the owner and they have to deal with it. People often receive one present of misery and give ten presents back. This just feeds the cycle of misery and it’ll keep going. People who feed the cycle want to receive your attention and get a reaction; don’t give into this. By understanding how this cycle works, you should remain unaffected and stop the cycle.
As humans we crave social interaction, and when we are desperate for attention we say things or do things we don’t mean. It’s a really petty way of getting attention, but that’s okay because that’s what makes us human.
Whether it be for their ego or for their misery – accept that the people you’re dealing with just want to be desperately heard. Don’t feed their ego or misery and remain unaffected; we aren’t cavemen anymore. You have a choice to let things go!
Respect the law of impermanence
We have all heard the saying “what comes up must come down”, and that applies to life as well. People give insufficient attention to this little detail in life. No matter how happy you are in life, there will be a time when that happiness goes away. Same goes with pain, no matter how painful you feel that pain would thankfully go away.
Individuals who get attached to outcomes and material objects suffer a lot more than those who understand the impermanence of everything. Let your attachments to material objects go and you will feel more tranquil and have a lighter mind.
Take for example two people who bought the same pair of shoes. One is attached to the shoe and worries about it getting dirty even though eventually it would get dirty and replaced. The other understands that this is only one of many shoes that he would wear in his lifetime and wears it without worry. Who suffers more?
When you feel attached to an outcome or feel aversion towards one, remind yourself about the law of impermanence. Correct understanding will help you let go of these feelings and have a calmer mind. It is a hard habit to master and may take a long time, but keep at it!
Accept that everything is changing all damn the time
You aren’t the same person you were a year ago or even 5 years ago. Everyday you change a bit, for the better, or for the worse. It’s just the law of nature that things change over time. Accept that life changes and let things go. Don’t get attached to what had previously happened or worry about the future; it’s a waste of mental energy and focus. Focus on the present instead, and use what you had learned from previous experiences to improve yourself. Forge yourself to be unaffected by sudden or gradual changes, and when the time comes to let past outcomes go – you will be ready.
Your body is the best example of this. You can experience the change and apply the knowledge. The surface of your body is going through countless biochemical reactions at any given point of time. If you focus hard enough you can even feel the changes. A change in temperature, a sudden itch, the feeling of touch, the vibrations caused by blood flow, etc. Just like your body the world is changing a countless number of times at any given point of time.
These changes happen relatively fast compared to your lifetime. Each experience that you have gone through is comparable to a second of small vibrations on your body. You went through it and you’re here now. Why give so much attention and mental energy to something that’s so fast and insignificant? Let go of those thoughts and free your mind from the suffering that they cause.
As grim as it sounds, life is short – your body is changing and degrading all the time. You want to focus on things that matter and not give your focus away like charity. If something is bothering you, let it go because it does not deserve your focus. Realise that it’s a little blimp in your journey called life and you would live more happily and freely!
Enjoy more tips at my blog ‘The Anxiolytic’ (www.theanxiolytic.com) which aims to help those with anxiety and share techniques for stress reduction.