The Case for Being Negative

Posted on May 4, 2011 by Joey Weber | CATEGORIES: confidence, productivity tips, self improvement

We’ve all heard it. “Be positive” they say. “Focus on the good in life” they explain.
“Think, you could be in a much worse situation so you should be thankful for what you have” they command. Well, screw that. I say, forget being positive…being negative has its own virtues.

Honestly, I’m not some weirdo who goes out of his way to find things to be negative about.. Nope, I’m not going to tell you that you should be always pessimistic and pissed off with the world. But I am going to tell you that it is absolutely ridiculous to focus 100% on being positive in your life. Being super incredibly uber-positive is detrimental to your health (much like eating lead paint). You see, optimism is a good thing…but blind positivity will keep you from actually changing your life or making a meaningful impact to this world.

Let me explain

The common thought is that being positive means being right, happy, and good. Why wouldn’t it, right? Positivity = good. Negativity = bad. Isn’t that obvious? Well, the short answer is “no.” There is an annoyingly long answer…but I don’t like long answers…

When you’re 100% focused on being positive, you miss room for growth. You see, every important thing that’s ever been accomplished is because someone was pissed off or frustrated at something. They saw something that was wrong, or evil, or broken, or just annoying, and they found a way to ﬁx it. Every person who’s every quit an awful job, every person who’s left an abusive relationship, and every person who’s ever blocked “Glee” on their Direct TV so their wife wouldn’t make them watch it were driven to do so because they were rightfully being negative. They didn’t discount the negative in the world. They acknowledged it and worked to do something about it.

In many cases that negativity is what will drive you to succeed and change your life. That burning sense of being unsatisfied with your current situation will often be what drives you do achieve.

Negativity isn’t necessarily pessimism

Just because you acknowledge the crappy parts of life doesn’t mean you need to be pessimistic about life. Nope, you should be optimistic, but it shouldn’t be some sort of blind optimism. Don’t tie your optimism to a vague sense of positive thought; instead, tie it to your plans, your goals, and your abilities. Be optimistic about your future because of what you will be doing to shape it. Be optimistic because you know that you’ll be working your ass off to make it better.

Your optimism should be your celebration of overcoming or improving the negative crap that you see around you. Give yourself your reason for optimism.

Positive action

Great people attach their happiness to taking positive action and achieving real results. The act of moving forward is satisfying and a lack of process is unbearable. Those who are successful only feel like they are truly living if they are moving forward and that’s why they achieve. It is out of that action that they become positive not some magical affirmation, mission statement, or force of will.

To focus 100% on positivity, to try to trick your brain into thinking everything is great, is to prevent yourself from making an impact in your life and in the world. When you turn a blind eye to what’s wrong in the world and what’s wrong in your life, you’ll never be able to do anything to ﬁx it.

So, let yourself be negative every once in a while…but when you do make sure to take real action to make it better.

Please leave all your negative thoughts in the comment section below (but positive thoughts are also more than welcome!)

Joey is an online business guy who loves talking about making actual accomplishments (not just theoretical personal development stuff). Check out his current project at http://findyourdamnpurpose.com. If you want your life to change, but don’t know how to get started, click to check out the 100% free video course on finding a useful purpose.

(both links should drive to either findyourdamnpurpose.com or findyourdamnpurpose.com/short-course)

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Why You Shouldn’t Care What Others Think About You

How To Choose The Right Goals For You

http://www.facebook.com/rjun.patil Mallikarjun

Thank u for the article…
Aaron

Great article, people always seem to take being positive way too seriously, they think that nothing should upset them. Of course they are going to be a little down sometimes, and there is always trouble in life. You just have to keep going and realise getting all depressed about something won’t make it better, either work hard to change it, or accept it.
- http://findyourdamnpurpose.com Joey
  
  Totally! That whole taking being positive too seriously thing is funny to me. (Well, really taking anything seriously is a problem). Thanks for your comment buddy!
Chetan

Article make sense , one can not be postive all the time. I would like to share one example – During trekking I fall on rock and lower Jaw got damaged and also several teeth.
I went to hospital and Doctor told me that he will try otherwise he will take out my loose teeth (almost 4-6 ), the way he said i got negative feeling about him. Although I was in pain , i decided to see some other hospital.
At other hospital also Doctor told me that she will try her level best to restore the teeth and Jaw but in her talk there was hope and I decided to go for it and finally everything went fine.
So many time we get negative feeling but that helps.
Chetan
- http://findyourdamnpurpose.com Joey
  
  Wow Chetan! That’s a bummer. I’m glad everything went fine in the end. (This is just further evidence to me why my clumsy self should never go in dangerous places!)
  
  Thanks for sharing your story.
http://www.Mazzastick.com Justin | Mazzastick

Joey,
Great points in regards to being positive. I had the belief too before that I must always be positive. This actually had the opposite effect on my well-being.

The way that I feel is just the way that I feel. Once I accept that I can make changes if necessary.
- http://findyourdamnpurpose.com Joey
  
  Ha, absolutely. Me too. The more positive I tried to be the more depressed I got – that’s not how it’s supposed to go…
  
  Thanks for your comment Justin.
http://www.thesynergyexperiment.com Tim Keaty

Good points, I think ‘being positive’ is now a term that is synonymous with ‘not complaining’ I would argue that truly being positive means to be hopeful that this situation can still reach a desirable outcome or said another way ‘how can I learn, grow, or improve on this’ instead of ignoring it or bitching about it.
Tim
- http://findyourdamnpurpose.com Joey
  
  You make a really good point. Maybe we’ve just developed a crappy definition of “positivity.”
  
  Thanks Tim!
http://www.theprojectweb.com Chris

I agree with much that was said in this article. Extremely positive people have always bothered me. It’s like they have no nerves — no pain receptors. Just like the body, we have nerves to tell us when something is painful. The reaction is negative. But that’s a good thing. If we deluded ourselves into being positive about the negative reactions, we’d always get burned (literally).
- http://findyourdamnpurpose.com Joey
  
  Yep. Now some people just are always positive, and that’s fine. Great for them! The problem is when people who trick themselves into thinking they are positive, but they’re not.
  
  With blinders on, you’re liable to walk right into the fire!
  
  Thanks a bunch Chris!
Dineh

Thanks for this great message. I didn’t see this point before, and therefore was always angry at myself for not being able to be uber positive about life. Rethinking things, my definitions of positive and negative have Officially changed today. Thinking Positively is: I AM capable! I AM able to come up with a solution. I HAVE the intelligence to over come this disaster/difficulty, mistake.

The New Negative is: I Don’t have to put up with this situation. I am not bound by others perceptions of me. I Do Not need to be afraid to step forward. I Hate the way I have been living (in some particular situation) and I CAN change it.

Hmmm…. I LIKE the way that feels. I accept the reality of any situation, then I can change it. All Right!
- http://findyourdamnpurpose.com Joey
  
  Ha ha, that’s awesome to hear! Sometimes reframing how we think about things helps move the obstacles from our lives. Dineh, thanks for your feedback. It always gives me the “warm fuzzies” when people find my ramblings useful!
  
  Great to hear from you.
Anna

‘Honestly, I’m not some weirdo who’s all depressed all the time’.

Being depressed (either all of the time or some of the time) doesn’t mean you’re a weirdo. Your comment is tactless and ill-judged.
- http://findyourdamnpurpose.com Joey
  
  Hi Anna,
  
  I definitely didn’t mean to offend with that line and I really appreciate you pointing it out. I guess a better way of making the point I was trying to make would have been “Honestly, I’m not some weirdo who goes out of his way to find things to be negative about.”
  
  Sorry to offend. I actually wanted to make the point, in part, that being depressed and negative about things is a normal healthy and often useful thing to do.
  
  Anyway, I apologize and wish you a great day.
  
  -Joey
- http://www.pickthebrain.com Editor, Pick The Brain
  
  Hi Anna…
  
  thanks for making this point. You are completely right and as soon as you pointed it out, Joey immediately emailed me and asked me to swap out the language, indicating his sincerest apologies – clearly it was not his intention to upset anyone and I appreciate his quick response as well.
  
  On my end, I’m sorry I let it slip through the cracks!
  
  thx again to both of you!
  
  erin
http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/the-case-for-being-negative/#more-6160 Zack

alright being positive is good but negative is bad WHY would you want to have some negative i understand that we all are going to be negative it makes us who we are but why would you make negative sound positive?
http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/the-case-for-being-negative/#more-6160 Zack

oh and im going to talk about negative FEELINGS: anger is abad feeling hatred is bad feeling bad about yourself pity ashamed insulted being bossed around being alone discouraged abused SCARED FEAR CRAZY why would any of that be good im not saying that some of those cant be positive like anger anger can drive you to do good things like if a teacher calls you stupid it makes you angry then you will try harder to get good grades
http://www.linkedin.com/in/keniaperez Kenia

Oh yay! Thank you for writing this. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. You just described, with words so impeccable, my thoughts over the last couple of weeks. I keep getting told, “Just be positive!!” and I was starting to think I was a little crazy for believing that my serious and/or negative outlook on some things didn’t mean I was a downer or a pessimist. The thing is, I’ve always had a positive outlook on the future (I seem to get contrasting reactions from people: Either “Be more positive” or “You’re such a positive person!” but never anything in between…which is interesting), while at the same time recognizing things *as they are* and not trying to make them more or less positive, or more or less negative. The whole reason I want to discuss any negative things is to find solutions – but some people have told me they prefer it if I don’t mention anything negative at all. Hard to fix things when you’re not allowed to talk about them.
- http://findyourdamnpurpose.com Joey
  
  Right on Kenia. I don’t know what it is, but a lot of times we get caught up in the whole, “change your mind and everything else will follow” kind of idea and lose sight of reality. Like you said, having a positive outlook is good, but sometimes there are bad things or obstacles that we actually got to do something about, right?
  
  As much as I try, thinking real hard and wishing bad things away never works!
  
  Anyway, thanks for sharing and no worries, you’re definitely not the only person on this bandwagon. I’m already getting emails over at my site. Definitely didn’t expect this response!
http://www.todayhaspower.com Rob

@Zack,
I’m with you Brother. I actually believe in positive thinking and doing. Negative just sounds so…negative.
I also believe working through and in spite of negative feelings and emotions.
Persistence throughout each emotional high and low makes the difference imho.
I also would ask that if a person feels it necessary to be negative to accomplish things, wouldn’t their family and others be well-satisfied if they weren’t so successful?
I will not be teaching my children to be negative any time soon.
I also will refrain from disparaging those who seem to be enjoying life more than myself. I actually look up to them.
- http://findyourdamnpurpose.com Joey
  
  Hey Rob,
  
  Thanks a ton for your feedback. I guess what I was trying to get at is less that you should try to be negative, just that it’s unhelpful when people try to pretend that negativity doesn’t exist, or not useful. It’s that dissatisfaction that drives many people to succeed. Negativity isn’t the goal, it’s just the starting inspiration to accomplish.
  
  Ha, and no. I won’t be teaching my children to be negative. And I hope you didn’t feel like I was disparaging people…just pointing out that positivity blinders aren’t always good.
  
  Thanks again for your input!
- http://findyourdamnpurpose.com Joey
  
  Hey Zack,
  
  Thanks for your input. Love hearing other points of view! I dont think we should TRY to be negative, just that we shouldn’t discount it.
  
  Anyway, thanks a lot and we can all agree…no teaching children to be negative!
http://www.kxpos.com.au pos system

It is really a nice post, it is always great reading such posts, this post is good in regards of both knowledge as well as information. Very fascinating read, thanks for sharing this post here.
http://www.balancedworklife.com/blog Bryce Christiansen

I just tweeted out an article along the same lines. The big message is that optimism can kill you if it is not backed by realism. Simply thinking you will get something and it will happen is bull crap. Thinking you will get something and then doing what that takes is beauty.
- http://findyourdamnpurpose.com Joey
  
  Yep, optimism without action tends to blind you to the fact that your life is getting worse, and worse, and worse. Then when you finally realize what had happened, it comes as a shock. It’s a creeper.
  
  Thanks for your input Bryce
Tonya

Love having found such great advice! Would love to share with my teenage son but, wow the language is so disappointing. Too bad Im sure I can find a way round it. No offense really, but I am a lady. Best wishes for you and all who log in here!
http://findyourdamnpurpose.com Joey

Ha, sorry Tonya. What language do you find problematic? (sorry, I generally write like I talk…) I’m happy to revise the article slightly for your tastes if you’d like. The best way to grab me is through my email address linked to my name.

Thanks for your comment and sorry if I offended (again!…I guess I’m on a roll…)
Rakshita

Great article Joey,now I dont think I’ll feel guilty of having a serious outlook towards life.
- http://findyourdamnpurpose.com Joey
  
  Great to hear Rakshita. Thanks for your kind words.
http://www.peppervirtualassistant.com/ Marco Paulo

Very interesting post you’ve got Joey. In my opinion, one should embrace the idea that negativity is also a catalyst for positivity. It is true that we feel better and we can achieve more in life if we continue having positive outlooks. However let us not deny the fact that acknowledging the negative sides of things could actually help us strategize or prepare our battle for success. Think of the worst consequences you might get, and then work hard to avoid them. Make failure your inspiration to succeed.
- http://findyourdamnpurpose.com Joey
  
  “Make failure your inspiration to succeed.” Couldn’t agree more. You can’t succeed if you can’t fail…you’ve got to put yourself on the line. There’s a reason why so many people say they learn way more from their failures than successes…
  
  Thanks for your comment Marco!
  - http://www.peppervirtualassistant.com/ Marco Paulo
    
    My pleasure Joey. I had fun reading your post. I hope you continue on writing good materials such as this. Keep it up!
Phil Clingo

finaly …. someone see’s things the way i do
David Owens

Blogs are so opinionated, why read them? Because it’s a view at how other people feel out certain things, situations or people. your entitled to your own opinion, but next time a situation arises that really urks you, put yourself in their garments and try to factor out reasons for “why” this was said or done, you may optimistically find out that it is more efficient this way and absorb the constructional criticism, later pass it on to someone else. Vice-versa you may pessimistically find that it indeed was selfish (still not always cruel) and act accordingly (applying the rule of life that every single human deserves common respect ‘innocent till proven guilty’) All in all Optimistic pessimistic solutions are no doubt an excellent choice!!! Agree with this blog entry a ton!

-Pay it forward-
- http://findyourdamnpurpose.com Joey
  
  Thanks David. You certainly make some good points about understanding the world around you, specifically the motivations of others.
  
  I appreciate your comment!
Anonymus

im afraid of people, and its driving me nuts…..what shall i do?
http://www.21tiger.com Michael A. Robson

“Negativity isn’t necessarily pessimism”

Then the title of this blogpost is misleading… cuz… that’s what people mean by Negativity. That’s the point. It’s not like if you said, “Contructive Criticism is a Good Idea” anyone would be up in arms over this contraversial statement.

If you’re saying, “Choosing to be pessimistic leads to success” then yeah, that’s a contraversial statement.
- http://findyourdamnpurpose.com Joey
  
  Howdy Michael, thanks for your input. Disagreements are healthy.
  
  I’m not saying being pessimistic is good. I think no matter how much bad stuff is going on, you ought to be optimistic because you know you can rise up above it.
  
  Here’s the difference. If you were wrongly accused of a crime and jailed you have a couple options.
  
  1) you could hate it and believe your life is ruined forever
  2) you could pretend everything is great and see the good in the situation
  3) you could hate it, but focus on what you can do about it because you believe that if you work hard enough you have a good future ahead of you despite that crumby circumstance.
  
  What I’m saying is if you’re in a bad situation, let yourself be negative about it. But don’t get overwhelmed by it and work to change it. Just don’t ignore the fact that it’s a bad situation and force a positive outlook.
  
  Maybe I wasn’t clear, but you probably simply disagree with me – and that’s totally cool.
  
  Thanks for continuing the conversation. I appreciate you viewpoint!
  
  -Joey
  - Bob Smith
    
    Joey,
    
    I think you just missed his point.
    
    I believe he was trying to tell you that the definition of negative you’re using and the definition of negative that he feels (and I feel) most others are using, are not the same.
    
    Indeed, the title is misleading, because “being negative” is not what you later go on to describe (which is *recognizing the negative* or, *admitting negativity exists when it slaps you in the face*).
    
    You recommend being positive about the negative, or rather, taking positive action about the negative. Not exactly the same thing as “being negative”.
    
    More likely than not he was poking fun at what he saw as the liberties taken in your ‘attention grabbing’ title.
http://www.paradiseconfidence.com Melissa

I agree with your post to some extent and totally see your side on it. It’s great to hear different perspectives! Thanks for sharing it
- http://findyourdamnpurpose.com Joey
  
  No problem Melissa. I’m glad you liked it. Personally, I like pushing my way of thinking.
http://www.africanmasksforsale.com Amy

You should definitely be a realist and know the bad parts of your life that need to be fixed, but being negative doesn’t do much for you.
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Kev

I see a lot of confusion when people talk about optimism vs. blind optimism, negativity vs. pessimism vs. realism, and the refusal to “be” negative vs. the refusal to acknowledge those negative things in your world, life, and circles. I hope we pay a lot more attention to the nuances with articles like this. I’m absolutely anti-negativity in behavior. It helps nobody, and I will only use it when it’s necessary to protect somebody or defend myself. Otherwise, I will be silent or positive, because everybody has shi7 to deal with in their lives (as do I) and the last thing we need to do as people is bring them down even more or bring ourselves down as we lash out. If you don’t like it, fix it. If you can’t fix it, ask for help. If you can’t get help, try harder. If you try harder and still can’t get help and still can’t fix it, let it go. Negativity is an ugly, contagious cancer that eats a person up from the inside out and if you are going to spend your short time on this planet being that way, why are you hanging around? What’s the point? My 2.
- Bob Smith
  
  If someone else’s negativity brings you down Kev, perhaps it’s one of those things you need to fix.
  - Bob Smith
    
    zz
Kev

I see a lot of confusion when people talk about optimism vs. blind optimism, negativity vs. pessimism vs. realism, and the refusal to “be” negative vs. the refusal to acknowledge those negative things in your world, life, and circles. I hope we pay a lot more attention to the nuances with articles like this. I’m absolutely anti-negativity in behavior. It helps nobody, and I will only use it when it’s necessary to protect somebody or defend myself. Otherwise, I will be silent or positive, because everybody has shi7 to deal with in their lives (as do I) and the last thing we need to do as people is bring them down even more or bring ourselves down as we lash out. If you don’t like it, fix it. If you can’t fix it, ask for help. If you can’t get help, try harder. If you try harder and still can’t get help and still can’t fix it, let it go. Negativity is an ugly, contagious cancer that eats a person up from the inside out and if you are going to spend your short time on this planet being that way, why are you hanging around? What’s the point? My 2.
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ber

Honestly, I often see the world in need of being much better, so I have a bit of negative thinking to give, but only to push for improvement. Most people, however, want to be lied to and told they’re at the top of their game, when in fact they could be much better, more successful, by raising their bar. That’s why I always strive to go higher, be better, etc. Then once I get there, I get really happy and excited, because I accomplished m goal of improvement, and I moved forward. A set back I take as a learning experience.
Platinumbaw

My cousin wants me to see the bright side of the world. I see whats missing in things and sometimes I take action and other times I don’t. I want to change so I take action all the time.

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