Back in November, I went away for a weekend’s retreat, and it was one of the best things I did last year. I have a lot going on in my life, and clearing that space meant juggling some commitments around – but it was well worth it. I felt much happier and more relaxed than I had done in a long time, and I came back from the weekend determined to keep some of that “quiet space” in my regular life.
I expect that you’re similarly busy. You probably find it hard – logistically and emotionally – to find any time for yourself. When you do get a gap in your day, you end up filling it with chores or emails or tasks that have been on your to-do list for months. And when it comes to the evening, you probably don’t have the energy to do much more than turn the television on.
Even when you’re short of time, though, it’s possible to find yourself a quiet space – mentally, if not always physically! Here are a few ideas to get you started.
If you have … five minutes
Five minutes might not seem like long, but if you sit in silence, focusing on your breathing, you’ll realise how refreshing that time can be. You might want to read up on meditation, or, if you’re religious, you might like to pray.
However busy you are, you can find five minutes a day – perhaps five minutes before work, during your lunch hour, and when you come home from work – to simply sit quietly and let yourself calm down from the busyness of the rest of your day.
If you have … half an hour
Although finding a half-hour block in your day is more challenging than snatching five minutes, it’s definitely possible. It might mean taking your lunch break (instead of working through it), or using the first half-hour when you get home from work in the evening.
Half an hour is a great length of time to go for a brisk walk. I find that walking is one of the best ways of being active, because you don’t need any special equipment, you don’t need to shower afterwards, it’s free, and you can do it almost anywhere. Instead of listening to music while you walk, opt for silence, and observe your thoughts.
If you have … an afternoon
Free afternoons (or mornings) don’t come about all that often, so make the most of them – and try blocking out a Saturday or Sunday afternoon every once in a while. (If you have kids, try arranging a childminding swap – you’ll take your friends’ kids if they’ll have yours the following week.)
A whole morning or afternoon is perfect for digging into a creative project. Whether you like to work with paint, clay, words, music or even food, give yourself the chance to make something. Don’t rush it, or feel that you have to produce something perfect or finished – just enjoy the process of creation.
If you aren’t in the creative mood, try curling up with a great book that you’ve been wanting to read for a while. Treat yourself to a mug of good coffee or hot chocolate too, and enjoy!
If you have … a weekend
Empty weekends are few and far between, and you may have to plan several months ahead to get one. It’s worth it, though: a whole weekend away from the busyness of life can refresh you, get your creative juices flowing, and help you think through the priorities and commitments that you have.
There are many places – some religious, others not – which welcome visitors to come on a retreat. Some retreats are run like courses (e.g. for painters or writers), others are very free-form and you can do whatever you like. Alternatively, you could just book yourself into a hotel, or go hiking for a weekend. Choose something which gets you away from the computer, the phone, and all your day-to-day worries – make yourself as uncontactable as possible!
I’d love to hear how you find quiet in your life, whether it’s for short or long periods.
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Nice post. I tend to find myself with an half an hour or so free and I end up wasting it with watching TV or something else irrelevant – this post will help me on the path to kick that habit.
Great ideas for taking a 5 minute to weekend long retreat! Lunchtime retreats are my favorite. They give you an opportunity to almost start your day over, refreshed and ready to go.
If you come across 1/2 hour, take it! Better yet, plan for it. You will be amazed at how “productive” you can be in a short amount of time if your mind, schedule and equipment are pre-prepared – whether your “goal” is to enjoy an hour at an art museum or brainstorm how to take your business to the next level.
People concern about wasting money, but don`t concern about wasting time, since both of them are so precious and limited. I believe that people have time enough to do anything important they want, but the problem is people use to waste their time doing banal stuff like drinking alcohol,watching movies and so forth. No trouble at all about watching TV since it does not comes first your obligations,meetings and goals. I don`t wanna be radical here, but believe or not we waste our time everyday with the unimportant, letting the priorities behind. The most successful people and the most poor people in the world have one thing in common. Both of them have exactly 24 hours a day to spend.
I’ve no problem with alcohol, TV, internet surfing or any other activities like that … so long as people are doing them consciously and to enjoy them, rather than just drifting along. I think the key is to THINK about what you’re spending your time on. Same with money: if you want to splash out on something, that’s fine, just make sure you’ve really made a decision.
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As a dad with a young ‘un around, I hear you on the difficulties in finding a little time to myself. I’ve gotten fairly addicted to my half hour or 45 minutes of treadmill time I try to take in most days this winter.
As for extended time to myself like a weekend, that is one thing that I have had an extremely hard time finding. In fact, from time to time taking advantage of something like a monastic retreat has popped into my head. Consider I’m an atheist-leaning agnostic, that’s probably saying something of the need for time in one’s head…
I’m sure even atheist-leaning agnostics are allowed to have a spiritual side.
(Seriously, though, I think a lot of places will welcome individuals of any faith or none.)
Hi Ali,
Nice article with some good tips on ways to find and use quiet space. I have a friend who goes to an annual “silent retreat” where everyone shows up and literally doesn’t talk or have any sound stimulus all weekend. It sounds a bit crazy, but it also sounds…intriguing. I may like to try it some day.
Regarding finding time in the day, Neil Fiore, in his book “The Now Habit” talks about what he calls the “unschedule.” In that, you only fill in your daily calendar with mandatory appointments and fun stuff (9like time for yourself. It’s a different approach I have had success with. There’s more to it than I go into in a comment, but if you google it I’m sure you’ll find info.
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These ways sound good! We often tend to get soaked up in the daily humdrum and finding some time to ourselves or in peace is just next to impossible. However, I feel these ways can definitely help in finding quiet space amid busling schedules.
Nice post you got here. It would be great to read a bit more about that theme. Thnx for giving this data.