Ever wonder why other people seem happier than you?
You take a look around and notice that people are smiling and laughing, and things seem to be going their way.
Meanwhile, it feels like you’re struggling along, just trying to make it through the day and running yourself ragged. You tell yourself that others aren’t really that happy – it’s just an illusion.
Over time, you could be sabotaging your own growth and development. But if you pay attention to your thoughts and actions, it can become clear that you are in control of how you feel.
So instead of holding yourself back, focus your energy on living positively. After all, happy people do have a different way of looking at things.
They never forget to:
1. Focus on improving themselves
Don’t become fixated on other people have achieved. Never mind what that guy has or things your neighbor has done. Just focus on your own progress and growth.
When you focus on yourself, you set goals that you want to achieve and put in the effort to make progress every single day.
You feel fulfilled knowing that you’re doing something to better your life and making a contribution to yourself, your family, and even the world.
Other people’s achievements don’t bring you down, because you know that you’re becoming a better version of yourself over time.
2. Make a choice to be happy
Happiness is largely a choice. The difference between being unhappy and happy comes from what we decide we need in our lives. If you consistently think that you need just that “one more thing” in order to be happy, you will never be happy.
Don’t let other people define what happiness should mean for you.
Happiness comes from acceptance. Not everything will go your way, but at the same time, unfortunate events can turn out to be a blessing.
Good things surround you if you just take a second to stop and take a breath. Look around and see what you have.
Being happy doesn’t mean staying stagnant. It means recognizing that you’re on a continual path, whatever it may be, and that it’s important to savor each moment along the way.
Relish the challenges and obstacles you might be facing. Embrace the wonderful things that could be happening to you this very moment.
3. Let go of the past
Everyone has something painful that’s happened to them in the past. What separates people from happiness is how they decide to deal with painful memories.
Do you feel resentful and bitter, thus crippling your ability to move forward, or do you acknowledge that event, learning from it and being optimistic about the future?
Conversely, don’t let the happiness of the past hold you back from being happy today. Just because you feel like the best times of your life are behind you, doesn’t mean that you can’t be happy now.
Happiness might take a different form or shape, but it’s there if you want it.
We only have the present to experience. The present is where you can make decisions; decisions about what to do, how to feel, and who to spend time with.
4. Spend time in positive, supportive environments
Who we spend time with speaks volumes about what kind of person we are. Being with people who don’t support your endeavors and try to bring you down will succeed if you let them. So if you catch yourself in a toxic environment, it’s time to leave.
It’s easy to remain surrounded by negativity when it feels like there are no other options available.
But there is.
You can choose to be alone rather than with people who don’t help you become your best self. The thought of being alone can be daunting for many people, but remember this: alone doesn’t mean being lonely.
Being on your own can be a good time to self-reflect, to find ways to improve your perception of things. And when you become positive, there’s a good chance you’ll attract like-minded individuals too.
5. Embrace the truth
Sometimes the truth can be scary. It can frighten other people, or even ourselves.
But the truth can also be liberating. Being truthful means not having to remember lies, or lying to cover up another lie. It means being able to sleep better at night.
Being truthful and recognizing the way things are will help you do what’s best for yourself. It helps you stay honest to yourself and keep from eventually believing the lies you tell.
You are free to make your own choices, to live according to your own mantra, and to fight for what you believe in. So when you’re given a choice, tell the truth.
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Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.
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