Self Improvement

10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence

Self confidence is the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared out of your wits. Your perception of yourself has an enormous impact on how others perceive you. Perception is reality — the more self confidence you have, the more likely it is you’ll succeed.

Although many of the factors affecting self confidence are beyond your control, there are a number of things you can consciously do to build self confidence. By using these 10 strategies you can get the mental edge you need to reach your potential.

Build Self Confidence


1. Dress Sharp

Although clothes don’t make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don’t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. Use this to your advantage by taking care of your personal appearance. In most cases, significant improvements can be made by bathing and shaving frequently, wearing clean clothes, and being cognizant of the latest styles.

This doesn’t mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. One great rule to follow is “spend twice as much, buy half as much”. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality items. In long run this decreases spending because expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than cheap clothes. Buying less also helps reduce the clutter in your closet.

2. Walk Faster

One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about herself is to examine her walk. Is it slow? tired? painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. Even if you aren’t in a hurry, you can increase your self confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important.

3. Good Posture

Similarly, the way a person carries herself tells a story. People with slumped shoulders and lethargic movements display a lack of self confidence. They aren’t enthusiastic about what they’re doing and they don’t consider themselves important. By practicing good posture, you’ll automatically feel more confident. Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You’ll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.

4. Personal Commercial

One of the best ways to build confidence is listening to a motivational speech. Unfortunately, opportunities to listen to a great speaker are few and far between. You can fill this need by creating a personal commercial. Write a 30-60 second speech that highlights your strengths and goals. Then recite it in front of the mirror aloud (or inside your head if you prefer) whenever you need a confidence boost.

5. Gratitude

When you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you can’t have it. This leads you to dwell on your weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum. You’ll be amazed how much you have going for you and motivated to take that next step towards success.

6. Compliment other people

When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of praising other people. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you’ll become well liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.

7. Sit in the front row

In schools, offices, and public assemblies around the world, people constantly strive to sit at the back of the room. Most people prefer the back because they’re afraid of being noticed. This reflects a lack of self confidence. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over this irrational fear and build your self confidence. You’ll also be more visible to the important people talking from the front of the room.

8. Speak up

During group discussions many people never speak up because they’re afraid that people will judge them for saying something stupid. This fear isn’t really justified. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.

9. Work out

Along the same lines as personal appearance, physical fitness has a huge effect on self confidence. If you’re out of shape, you’ll feel insecure, unattractive, and less energetic. By working out, you improve your physcial appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive. Having the discipline to work out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day.

10. Focus on contribution

Too often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution you’re making to the rest of the world, you won’t worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world the more you’ll be rewarded with personal success and recognition.


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Related Articles:

How To Increase Self Discipline

How To Motivate Yourself

  • http://www.succeedsocially.com Chris

    I think the biggest distinction is between temporary psych-up self-confidence and stable, longterm confidence.

    The first can be manipulated somewhat by listening to driving music or mental techniques or a recent success whatnot, but the feeling will always go away.

    Longterm self-confidence is more of a logical assessment of your abilities rather than a charged up emotional feeling. You just ‘know’ you have a certain value. You raise that by having real accomplishments and strengths, and by getting enough external feedback from the outside world that your positive self-assessment becomes another fact.

    • liset

      correct me if im wrong or give me some advices please. my problem is that im so afraid to spak something out when im in school because my english is a second language to me, and I feel that my classmates will make fun about me.

      • bob

        all of your fellow classmates will respect you 50 tmes more then they already do if you speak out. most of them probably dont say anything in class, and when they see a forgein person speakng about something in a language they know all too well – theyll be impressed.

        • sara

          well i had this problem befor and i was afraid to be fun or others laugh on me but i find out that if you will laugh with them when they laugh on you and say oh God i’m not intelegent or i’m not good or stuff like that …will makes this fun normal and you will see how much thsi way work out so just laugh with them and ask and say whatever you want do be be afraid try it nad you will see..good luck

          • Saadiftikhar001

            i have no confidence to talk with females , or over aged people …………

          • Moeez Kashif

            saad contact at this no +923334072047

          • Enjoy

            hey bud, THINGS ARE THE WAY YOU WANT TO SEE IT.
            keep this in your head and be your self. females wont bite, they can’t survive without our attention.

          • Brandymle

            Yeah right.u men couldn’t survive without each other huh? Lmaf lame guys.

          • kenduby

            Thats because you girls tend to drive us absolutly nuts haha

          • vanessa

            NOT  really is just the fact that men can not leave without us.

          • Guru

             gosh

          • Guru

             gosh

          • Arabearisme

            I agree!

          • Rizzi_aka

            I just cant say how wshit people are when theythink highly of the waytheyare

          • rich

            me too, thats why i dont act confident cuz i relate that to arrogance

          • Amelia Hay

            there’s a massive distinction between self-confidence and arrogance. An arrogant person is consumed with their own self-importance whereas, confidence is an assurance or belief in yourself.

          • june

            very well explained. I like this post.

          • Munni

            There is a very fine line between arrogance and self belief,self importance can lead to hurting others,as they are meek.

          • Munni

            Absolutely right,they are not humble or sensitive rather self obsessed.

          • Joshuatucker

            h
            i
            m
            y
            n
            a
            m
            e
            i
            s
            j
            o
            s
            h
            u
            a
            t
            u
            c
            k
            e
            r

          • ash

            What the hell it is .

          • http://www.buysocialmediatraffic.com/ Tyson Otto

            what is this?

          • Stallonearyan

            Can women live without Men !!!!!!!!!!!!!

          • Pretty in Pink

            *Typo Correction lol* Live not Leave :)

          • Hayim

            We are not meant to live without each-other.

          • Renata Baumgardner

            This is actually for all. Men can’t survive without women and women can’t survive without men. I have had several abusive relationships, but all men are not the same. Its like women some women are self centered but not all of us are. It is the bad ones that give men and women the bad names. I don’t wear makeup and I don’t do my hair. I don’t care about what a man has as long as he has a good heart. Once I took over this belief, I found a good man. If you change your perspective on the opposite sex you will find the good ones. And we are just as scared to talk with men and apporach them as you men are to apporach us.

          • Nir

            I don’t feel confident because I have more hair than people in my school not much more but enough for people to tell me to go shave or something in that sort because I am from Israel and there the girls don’t really care but its different in the United States they DO CARE! Some people told me I have to shave as now I am just scared and I stare at the floor all the time walking in te halls idk what it is I just don’t feel confident at all :( do you know a way I can change this I know that shaving is not really an option for a guy I don’t think guys shave correct me if I’m wrong and waxing hurts like a bitch lol and laser idk can’t that give you skin cancer or something and my parents are saying I can’t shave so idk

          • Ronaldo

            I’m Israeli too and live in the U.S. and from what I hear, you are making such a big mistake. Be super proud of your hair, your genes, your ancestry, your identity, and your self, because it’s something only you possess making you very special. Bro, if you don’t like your hair or in other words, YOURSELF, no one will like you and even if someone does, you won’t believe it for you yourself feel that certain way about yourself. So start loving yourself and seeing the greatness that you possess. And to just be real clear with you, this will give you CONFIDENCE. A way you can effectively do this is by using positive affirmations (http://www.self-help-and-self-development.com/self-confidence-affirmations.html, http://www.self-help-and-self-development.com/self-love-affirmations.html) (Print them out and read them every time you wake up in the morning and everytime you’re about to go to sleep in the night. Do this consistnently for a month, and you’ll see results. They seriously work and I know this because I use them.) And btw, guys do shave. My aba shaves me. xD

          • Oz

            I don’t have enough hair to be a guy… I’m not confident!

          • perfect generation

            you are allowing others to make you feel guilty about yourself instead of being CONFIDENT about it. choose which will you want, guilt or CONFIDENCE and run with it. i ll choose CONFIDENCE though

          • Sanctus47

            Well men would survive as would females… into everyone died off with no new babies. But if I take what you said word for word us man not surviving without other men… not sure how to respond.

          • Sanctus47

            Well men would survive as would females… into everyone died off with no new babies. But if I take what you said word for word us man not surviving without other men… not sure how to respond.

          • http://www.sanfranciscodentistdds.com/ San Francisco Dentist

            cuz girls make us insane

          • ash

            I AGREE WITH U .;

          • Leaf

            Are you feeling ok Brandymle?
            Take it easy

          • Preshitha Parihar

            girls really dont need boys attention. the thing is u guys cant live without giving us attention.

          • Spunkyknight_16

            Men just wanna sex those women then back to work thats it !

          • Leaves

             You are speaking of the Men you have met. Not all Men are the same. Myself being male find the modern woman revolting and shallow. A woman’s true beauty can be felt as the light of love warming your heart. If a Man wants to feel this light he must be deserving of it – meaning he should not let lust, greed, anger, jealousy or pride enter his consciousness. Women are the most beautiful, powerful and resplendent creations that have ever existed – it is just that most of them don’t know it yet.Time to wake up fellow people as now is the time to make the Earth more beautiful than it has ever been! 

          • warrior

            nice thoughts……girls sud know their responsibilities n their potential…..

          • berna

            i like what you say.. about us,

          • Ag2911

            thats nothing to be boasted about !!..god has made us that way :)

          • Devon Reynolds

            speaking from a guy who is scared of talking to girls the reason is, is that in my experience women seem to be very harsh in thier judgments of others especially men and the guys who are too shy to speak effectively to you you shun away and call us useless in actuality these men are the good guys that you all want to find we dont do things to you or with you because we fear rejection and when you all just give us condescending looks and tell us that we need you. yea thats all true but there is no reason that you have to be as mean and as judging as most of you are. Just give us a chance stop waiting for guys to come up to you so much and try to be in our shoes sometime you go up to someone and try to talk to them and let them condescend and reject you. Im sure we’ve been through more rejection than you ever will.

          • Raj Kamudu

            girls never ever accept this truth….sorry can’t help…

          • Preshitha Parihar

            girls really dont need boys attention. the thing is u guys cant live without giving us attention.

          • june

            really is that so hm

          • http://www.mrdatecoach.com/ Sam Lee

              @Saadiftikhar001
            as a professional dating coach and matchmaker I always have my clients
            create a list of the following to help build confidence when it comes to
            speaking with women:
            1. Previous personal goals that you obtained!
            2. What are the worst things women can say or do to you? And how can that really effect you.
            3. What do you want to say to women?
            4. What do you believe is stopping you from talking to women? And how can you fix those areas?
            5. What makes you of value to women.
            6. What will you do if things do not go well with the approach?

            After you answer these questions it will given you some real incite and
            show you that the process to speak to  women is not that bad. Most times
            simple mechanics can stop you from wanting to take that next step. Work
            the mechanics out before you ever approach her. Once you set your plan,
            work the plan! Approaching women is always about creating a game plan
            (game plan, not GAME) and working it. Let me know if I can help! http://mrdatecoach.com

          • ranz

            why?
             

          • http://confidentman.net/ Graham

            Hey Saadifikhar001. I used to be the same. I recommend you do this free online course: http://confidentman.net/confidence-building-course

          • Princessash

            HA HA Ha !

          • Muneeb Najmi

            Same here, bro

          • shocker

            thats cause u mastabate

          • Arun Kumar

            I don’t like to talk with girls and over aged peoples. i have reasons

          • Majid_chandio81

            hi sara where are you from? i  m from pakistan. i m farhan and student of b.com. if u wanna friendship with me call me at +923332767038

          • Ahmedmike970

            hi i am also from pakistan? just need some advice if your willing to help? At least reply back with a yes or no answer. My email is ahmedmike970@gmail:disqus .com

            Ps. i live in karachi 

          • Ahmedmike970

            hi i am also from pakistan? just need some advice if your willing to help? At least reply back with a yes or no answer. My email is ahmedmike970@gmail:disqus .com

            Ps. i live in karachi 

          • Chris R

             yeah… try not to give in to others’ negativity. It’s all a pathetic attempt for them to feel better about themselves…

          • K_email

            Totally agree. I’ve just recently had this epiphany.

          • Anu

            Sara, very truly said. This will be the first step to make yourself as confident. 
            Thanks

          • jusaguest

            bad advice, wouldnt that only exacerbate the problem.?..

          • Nobody Special.

            Sara please learn to spell, it makes things difficult for others to read. (Corrections you start off with a capital letter in the first word ** Well not well) (Corrections not i it is I) (Corrections not befor it’s before) (Corrections not thsi it’s this) (Corrections not nad it’s and) (Correction it’s I’m not i’m) (By the way none of this makes sense Sara, I have no idea at all what you mean. p.s I learn’t this all in Primary School, hope this helped you.

          • Geek Gurl Melissa.

            Exactly! People these days!

          • Nobody Special.

            Oh dear what a hypocrite I am sorry, I accidentally forgot to type in the closing bracket on the last bracket sentence! # Beedy Eyes.

        • SABELO NOGENGE

          i will read more of this as it gives me more confidence in.I am in South Africa, unemployed & am 26. Thanks for the page, fullfilling.

        • Jayhawk2940

           Haven’t been in a high school in a while, have ya Bob?

        • John

           Liset have you tried Sean Coopers http://www.TheConfidenceTricks.com
          – For some people it really is a state of mind, and he teaches you ways
          to get in the right state of mind. You wouldn’t believe how confidence
          is so easily manipulated.

      • nana

        i shake when i am reading in public. esp when am holding a mic.help

        • shreya

          just look above their heads and take a deep breath and remember u are faaar better off than the peopl who are sitting there who will get scared to death by the mere thought f holding a mike..u r more dynamic n confident person than many others sitting down there..

        • http://www.freedatingssites.com Lucymcbees

          Absolutely I agree with you. It takes time and effort. We need to be trained more and more.

        • Amanda

          when I do any public speaking,I try to focus on one object generally above those to whom I’m speaking,it helps me and gradually I feel more confident and actually look at the people I’m talking to.just never do the whole “picture them in their undies”thing,it’ll just make you laugh.

          • Sharmamotilal18

            This poem was inspired by the loss of a loved one who was the provider of the family, having no safeguard the person themselves suffers economic despair along with the emotional grief of losing a loved one.                              Life Left With Nothing
                                  

            Through all the years of love
            support unconditional and true
            a life interrupted by tragedyI have nothing left of you

            My home crumbles around me
            disrupted life drifting like dust
            a broken heart joined in griefwhy wasn’t life insurance a must?

            DON’T WORRY
            WE WILL WITH YOUR FAMILY IN YOUR ABSENCE

             WE ARE

            LIC OF INDIA

            SINCE 1965

            20% CASH BACK ON YOU FIRST YEARLY PREMIUM OFFERED BY OUR AGENCY
            ONLY
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            CONTACT NO.—— 08882276747

        • Armandalilly

          try to take a public speaking course an oral communications course best investment yet. 

        • Armandalilly

          try to take a public speaking course an oral communications course best investment yet. 

      • maggie

        No, many individuals want to hear other students speak from other countries, not that it is funny but because it is interesting. I actually bet you will find more friends in doing this because everyone wants a unique friend they can talk to and get a new prespective. Use your different style to stand yourself out in a good way!

      • daniella

        i know how you are feeling, i’m going through that too. i’m really doing my best to change but it’s really hard. i think u should find some help, thats what i’m trying to do, because i know i can’t do it by myself. it sounds like i’m making a big deal out of this, but thats because it is a big deal. not only for high school but for everything else, beeig communicative is very important. and it might seem like i can speak english very good. but thats only writing and reading, because i dont like talking in english. for the same exact reason u said,”i’m afraid they r gonna make fun of me”. but u know what i realized this is more a selfesteem problem that a accent or difference of cultures like i thought. i really hope u realize that too, and that u always look ahead and be succesful!!

        • liam yhlgaygdl

          hi i saw u know alot about this stuff soo i am 15 n i find it hard to speak out and take unless im angry butt i used to be very outgoing and confident now if i see a person i know my belly will go in nots,start to feel sik i also have bad paranoyer both my mum n dad suffer from depression and take drugs i think that could be a little bit why,will u help me if

          • chris

            hey mate – i know exactly what you are going through!!! i am experiencing this at the moment, my parents are both the same being anxious and depressed and yes it has a small knock on effect but only if you let it. I am building my self confidence back up because deep down I know that I am fine in these situations with other people. The only reason that you may find it hard to speak is because you BELIEVE that you will find it hard to speak. You should check this link out – http://recreateyourlife.com/free/  it will help in some understanding of how you may have created these false beliefs of yourself  which are just not true. And in a positive note enable you to get your life back on track to where you want it to be. P.S at the end of the link they will want you to pay for the full course – i didn’t need to part with any money to gain benefit from the video.
            Life is only as difficult as we imagine it to be. No matter what we go through in life we are the people who can make it better for ourselves! 
            I have also found taking part in a sport such as a martial art definitely helps – it will teach you self confidence, peace of mind and self control. 

      • Nina

        Just dont listen you have to know what you want and how to respond. Learn as hard as you can. Most likelt thoose students just havent heard an accsent or a new language. There proably jealous of you. Dont think your higher or lower then them just believe in yourself

      • Marthees

        Hello sir,
        I am also had that problem. But now I came out of that one. Just take ur friends comments as fun and try to speak whatever you think and don’t think whether it’s grammatically correct or not. Don’t be inferior yourself. Right or wrong try to speak in a confident way. Then only your friends will eager to listen your speak.

      • FSK

        Do not be ashamed of poor english. The fact that you just try to speak without showing fear or lack of trust in yourself will make everything else seem minimal.

        I have always highly enjoyed listening to and speaking to someone who does not speak english well, it makes the conversation more intriguing and interesting and anyways, why should anyone care if your english is good or bad so long as they understand what you are trying to say.

        Whenever I find myself holding back from something because of how others will percieve me, I say to myself, ‘I don’t give a sh*t (excuse the language) what others think, I am me, this is my life, I will live it.’

        Hope this helps.

        • Inderjaat07

          well said! my friend.

      • http://www.galitscampcoaching.blogspot.com Galit

        I know how you feel. I speak 4 different languages. Now I speak 4, but I couldn’t speak a word when I started. Here is the thing. Don’t think about what others think of you, rather be proud of what you are going to learn. The more you are going to practice, the better you will become. You can even ask others to correct your language so you can learn faster.
        You will become so fluent you won’t believe how good you are.
        Good luck.

        • Hema1389

          Hai i like ur confident

          • javed

            im not confident and i hate myself

          • Monkey123

            I hate you too, and I don’t even know you.

          • Monkey123

            Actually, I love you dearly and want to have mad, raving humpies with you.

          • javed

            im not confident and i hate myself

          • Sharmamotilal18

            This poem was inspired by the loss of a loved one who was the provider of the family, having no safeguard the person themselves suffers economic despair along with the emotional grief of losing a loved one.                              Life Left With Nothing
                                  

            Through all the years of love
            support unconditional and true
            a life interrupted by tragedyI have nothing left of you

            My home crumbles around me
            disrupted life drifting like dust
            a broken heart joined in griefwhy wasn’t life insurance a must?

            DON’T WORRY
            WE WILL WITH YOUR FAMILY IN YOUR ABSENCE

             WE ARE

            LIC OF INDIA

            SINCE 1965

            20% CASH BACK ON YOU FIRST YEARLY PREMIUM OFFERED BY OUR AGENCY
            ONLY
            A RISK COVER OF UP TO 1000 TIMES OF YOUR MONTHLY PREMIUM WITH ALL TAX        BENEFIT
            GET 8 TIMES TAX FREE MATURITY FROM LIFE PLANS WITH NO MARKET RISK

            CONTACT NO.—— 08882276747

      • Dylcoxy

        Just speak,thats the only way you will be able to learn,coz then you will be able to know what is right and wrong,they will correct you or God will give you a friend who will help you and not laugh at you.

      • areeb

        liset dont afraid speak whethes it is wrong or right this will increase ur self confidence because no language is easy to learn or untill unless u won’t speak then how would u learn 

      • Avinashr86

        every person feel like that only but my advice is that speaking regularly in english with others will develop our speaking skills 

        • Monkey123

          What? I haven’t a clue what you just wrote.

          • Julia

            oh thats nice of you monkey123 put him/her  down even more why don’t you. what he/she means is that pracise makes perfect and speaking in a foreign language regularly will help you get better at it.

      • Marcinbilda

        If you don’t speak up you will not learn the way you should,  if you get it wrong they will correct you and forget it the next day,  we learn by our mistakes so go for it! 

        • image

          This is true

        • Anonymous

          100% true. You just gotta do it. About 8 years ago I hated dancing (I still dont dance often). About 4 years ago I met a girl who loved dancing and I didnt have the self confidence to dance. Luckily, she was ok with teaching me and understood that I am stiff goofy guy. I hated feeling vulnerable and embarassed in front of her. At the point, I just wished that I learned dancing 4 years before then so I wouldn’t have to go through this now. 

          Now, 4 years after I met my future wife, I’m still not a good dancer by any means, but I dont look goofy anymore and I’m glad I finally learned.

          You are always going to want to just know how to do something, but you have to learn and start from somewhere. 

      • Isra Ali

        Im 15  years & I been dealing with the same problem since i came to america  in 2008. I really thought i was the only person because no one talks about things like that or understand the struggle. But when i read all the comments i dont feel a lone, so thank you all.

      • Angel Spandana

        u dnt think like dat….once if u come out and talk to ur frnds then ul lose ur fear….if u sit like that wid out talking to anyone then wen vl u improve ur eng? I suggest u to talk to ur lecturers and frnds  so that they’l correct u 
                                              hope my suggestion will help u.

      • Lime Squeeza

        You are who you are. That is simply showing you dont accept yourself, so why would anyone else? Accept who you are in every facet, and the more confident you react to those situations, people will pick up on your confidence, not your speech.

        • Lime Squeeza

          And read  “Power of Positive Thinking,” it’s a game changer!

      • K Cho88

         English is my second language too. and in class im quite all the time and just staring at the wall or the person. but if u just speak your mine and just say like anything random, and be confident of your self.
        nobody will care about your clothes your wearing or looks just speak up. and make sure to smile to people.

      • K Cho88

         English is my second language too. and in class im quite all the time and just staring at the wall or the person. but if u just speak your mine and just say like anything random, and be confident of your self.
        nobody will care about your clothes your wearing or looks just speak up. and make sure to smile to people.

      • Arabearisme

        People will respect you more if you DO speak out. And if they don’t speak out and they make fun of you, tell them at least you want to try and get involved.

      • Chris R

         I can tell you one thing. I only speak English, and not very well at that. So when someone who’s primary or native language isn’t English speaks in class, they automatically recieve respect for multiple reasons… Think about it:
        1. Many of the kids in class aren’t even bilingual.
        2. Many of these kids don’t even speak English all that well even though it’s their only language.
        3. Most of these kids aren’t even confident enough to speak up in class.
        4. You will be seen in the proper light because people don’t expect those who are still learning English to speak perfect English!
        5. The teacher as well as the students who are paying attention in class will be the only ones who really pay attention to what you’re saying, and they will naturally make more of an effort to understand what you are saying since English isn’t your first language!

        *I hope this gives you at least some perspective..

      • Letsplaysoccer10

        ingles sin barreras bro

      • Zhena Nova

         hi, i think we have the same problem u know..english is my second language too…i never voluntered, speak up, hands up. but no one bullied me bcoz they said im nice and do u know that being friend with everybody around u will help u get confidence on speaking up for urself bcoz they will automatically understand u if u say something confusing to them but u have to remind them that english is ur second language but try hard to study english

        • Pravinprakash

          hi ilke ur coments  iam also  same like english is  second  languge for me  for me its very dificult to  pronounce   and iam shy  with  talk  who speck very good english in front of them im full of nervuse  please sugest  me  coz iam from india  working in hotel     its feeling shy  and iam feeling myself  same on me

      • Zhena Nova

         hi, i think we have the same problem u know..english is my second language too…i never voluntered, speak up, hands up. but no one bullied me bcoz they said im nice and do u know that being friend with everybody around u will help u get confidence on speaking up for urself bcoz they will automatically understand u if u say something confusing to them but u have to remind them that english is ur second language but try hard to study english

      • Liz

        Personally, I enjoy hearing people speak who are just learning English. You have a different sound and I like it. There may be some who will want to make  a little fun but just as many will like to hear you talk. Remember, most people listening only know English and maybe not very well at that. So don’t hold back. Speak out and do the best you can.

      • Liz

        Personally, I enjoy hearing people speak who are just learning English. You have a different sound and I like it. There may be some who will want to make  a little fun but just as many will like to hear you talk. Remember, most people listening only know English and maybe not very well at that. So don’t hold back. Speak out and do the best you can.

      • Ryan Wadsworth

        if they make fun of you becuse you are not very god at English then they are the ones people should be laughing at. 

      • John

         Liset have you tried Sean Coopers http://www.TheConfidenceTricks.com – For some people it really is a state of mind, and he teaches you ways to get in the right state of mind. You wouldn’t believe how confidence is so easily manipulated.

      • Rolltidebama93

         You can type good in english for it to be your second language. Good Job! (except for when you typed “spak” but that could have very well been a typo.)

      • Fluer

        um..there are a few mistakes which you wrote.English is a second language to me too but I am able to speak it well.you can improve by talking in english ALL the time,even if someone corrects you don’t be discouraged and correct yourself.Then you’ll be awesome at english!

      • praan

        if u hv nythn to say,jus say it…it dsnt mttr if othr’s laugh at u…da ones who mke fun of u nw wll b da ones who wll cm to congratulate u frst wn u wll achieve success in future..

      • Shikha Rawal

        Dont be!! start faking confidence and u will see the difference for yourself!!!once its a habit then u dont have to worry at all

      • Safiya

        same problem here :(

      • Handan Tuncdoruk

        dear person, simply start doing public speaking courses – meetup groups are awesome – because everyone who goes to those groups feel the same way as you… So no-one judges:) then you learn how to speak up, & most importantly open up…

    • Taylor Bee

      Look, we all can pretend all we want to say that “Oh, yeah, listen to some music” or “Oh, yeah, believe in yourself”. But you all know that is a bunch of crap and wenever do that.

      What are we always running around the house saying?

      How does my hair look?

      Do I have something on my shirt?

      DID I SIT IN SOMETHING?

      And people do look at the clothes a lot.

      So maybe clothes don;t make the man…
      but you’re sure right about they make you feel good!

      • http://google ANGELA

        well i think ur right
        come on i mean im one of those people…I GO CRAZY.
        WHAT TOOK MY ATTENTION IS THE POINT WHERE THE WALKING STYLE WAS STATED!
        I NEVER KNEW THAT WALKING FAST DEPICTS SELF CONFIDENCE:)

        • Lily

          I believe walking fast does depict confidence. When you walk faster you have a drive to get more things accomplished and by accomplishing more things you possibly run into more people, you have brief converstations with each person, and the conversations that you have with each person are just feedback and confirmation that you are a very important person. These converstations usually consist of what is on your agenda and getting to know the other person’s agenda as well.

        • JOnathan

          That was acually the most interesting thing when I read that, because I acually just came from the supermarket and when I went in this peticular time, I knew beforehand what I wanted and it was just 2 things, but get this, the interesting thing was that from the time I got out of the car I realized that I was projecting confidence by the way I was walking cuse I had something to do and was going straight for it. Now, weather conciously thinking it, or subconciously, I realized it therefore upon the realization, my confedence was even boosted more. but either way i knew it and it was surpizing to read that after that just happening

          But at the same time, when I went to ask for help from the one girl, n she was kinda cute, I didnt have that same confidence.

          so anyway if your wondering how such the coincidence,
          well when I got home I googled the word “Confidence” so thats how I got here. Cuse I said to myself I said “self” your gonna get so self confidence.

          And I believe that anything you want can and is possible to be attained but you need first to want it, then you need info., then you gotta disipline yourself, to what degree, I guess depends on how much you want it and how enjoyable it is for you.

          ok way too much writing, but n e way i its interesting youll read it. so why am I writing this well… I guess i thought it might possible be might help someone out. You know im putting the 10 things into practice. thinking on others. and heck, I just felt like writing.

          some feedback… “I feel you”, “ok” “interesting”, “shut up” you know anything.

        • Althea

          I don’t agree with the walking faster bit. I suffer from social phobia, and whenever I’m on the street (very seldom) I tend to walk very fast, so that whatever it is I’m doing (e.g. going to the store, work, etc) will be over as soon as possible. I also do so because it gives me the impression that if I walk fast, nobody will have time to notice me.

          • stanley

            hey, u know what that’s called, spotlight effect…i read abt that in a newspaper in india b4 i came here to san francisco…its a feeling u get that everyone on the street is looking at YOU ONLY and u feel very conscious abt urself that way…i had that problem too back home..sometimes do feel that way here too..but i guess over time u get over it…. cheers :-)

          • http://apps.facebook.com/nutsforlovesolitaire/ Facebook Games

            I think this is very true.  Another way other than the ways you have mentioned is to say a mantra or a quote to yourself.  Like the one described here:
            http://www.glamquotes.com/quote/confidence-quotes/

          • Ariella

            I loved what your wrote.

            Keep doing it.

            Sincerely,

            Ariella

          • Hema1389

            Sweet

          • http://increaseyourselfconfidence.blogspot.com Sara

            I definitely agree with you. You cannot veil what is real. What you can do, however, is take a proactive approach. Sometimes it makes sense for our body to lead our emotions and thinking. Think about it: if you are sad, you can keep being sad or you can watch a comedy. I would love for you to check out my blog at http://increaseyourselfconfidence.blogspot.com

          • vangie

            i do the same thing

          • Ben

            It’s called agrophobia , I have it too , I totaly understand what you mean about walking fast so nobody notices you , But I have come to realise that that isn’t a way to live , all you should say to yourself when your outside is “Who cares if people are looking at me” I mean so maybe they are better looking , maybe they are more intelligent , but at the end of the day we are all human , we are born, we live , we die , so why waste your life thinking about what other people think? they are not worth it! And 90% of the time they arnt looking at you! and the 10% who do look at you don’t care what you look like. It’s one of the hardest phobias to get over but if you don’t you will get to the end of your life and regret not having done more. Email me at Ben.du11@hotmail.fr if you want to chat about it, I will be happy to help you .
            Ben

          • Mariemcgonagle

            thank u so much ben.reading ur comment tonight has really helped.i thought i was the only one on the planet that felt this way.going to the supermarket can be very scary.when i step out 2moro i will think of what ive read your right we only live once. thanks ben

          • Jodes

             Me too! Good luck to you. I know how horrible it is.

        • ms girl

          yeah the walking fast thing was a load of crap to be honest. shy people, me included walk fast because they are uncomfortable. (me included) in highschool or when walking around groups of people and you dont know , it makes you walk fast, you’re trying to get through quickly. people used to tell me i walked fast all the time. a confident person enjoys being seen or doesnt mind it so he doesnt need to speed up or hurry. he can slow down and take a look around him. a shy person with low confidence looks at the grown and is speeding.

          • http://twitter.com/Julie_eddie ?

             I think the article is more talking about HOW you walk as in how you hold yourself. If you’re walking and looking down for example, of course you aren’t going to give the appearance of confidence :/ But you’re right, I walk fast sometimes, but because I don’t smile much and like to wear boots (they’re comfy) I’m told I just look like I’m angry about something. lol

          • http://twitter.com/Julie_eddie ?

             I think the article is more talking about HOW you walk as in how you hold yourself. If you’re walking and looking down for example, of course you aren’t going to give the appearance of confidence :/ But you’re right, I walk fast sometimes, but because I don’t smile much and like to wear boots (they’re comfy) I’m told I just look like I’m angry about something. lol

    • sevil

      i think i dont have enough self confidence to make friends and the worse thing is that i think i am not attractive to my friends.i am a youngh girl and i need to be attractive especially to my boy friend i would be grateful if you help me

      • Ben

        If you want to chat about it email me at Ben.du11@hotmail.fr

      • Mel

        I agree that the walking fast is a load of rubbish, I don’t have any confidence and I walk fast to get to wherever I am going as fast as possible.

        I woul’ve thought walking slow and taking your time would give you more confidence.

      • Kim

        This is probably late.  But I used to be exactly like you. Zero self confidence in my looks and I just didn’t know where to start in making friends and if someone tried to befriend me I’d tremble so hard I wonder why I never shit my pants!! And worse, I have a driving license but I was so terrified of other drivers that I spent years without driving.

        Anyway, I tried the net since I couldn’t face people. this link might be helpful; http://chardskm.selfconfidenceguides.com/ I have improved a lot in the past 3 months!

    • http://pickthebrain kara

      hi can some one please help me.
      i havent had a job for 2 yrs i have no confidece what so ever i dont like going out side my front door i have scars on my arm from where i was self harming and i dont want people to see i want to get a job but i fail underpressure and i cant wear short sleeves b’coz of my scars lately i been thinking if i dont do some thing now i will end up on my own for ever jobless and just living in my bedroom i havent been out sit for 2yrs and im only 19 please some one help me!!!

      • jeff

        do not fear better days will come. put yourself out there and hopefully people will see the great person inside rather than the scars on your arms. that are obviously apart of your past. :)

      • Stephen

        Hi Kara, I am really suprised to see so many people here all looking for the same thing …. It relieves me to see that i’m not the only one with this problem …. I think we should be supportive with each other … Well i dont dare talk about it with people in my daily life because you cant trust that they will be supportive about it …
        There should be some way we could build a support group with those who are willing …. I think its worth a try …

        • http://www.demondjackson.com Demond

          What I’ve been saying recently is that you never really know what’s going to happen. There is just as much evidence that you will succeed than there is that you will fail. Since you cannot predict the future, predict your own future, take action and see your life change.

          • andrew

            i totally agree about having a support group. we all know what its like, the pain of not knowing if theres even a single person out there who would care to listen. i think that feeling compounds the problem because i dont feel like anyone would care or that i should even bother other people about my feelings. but i came here and its very apparant that im not alone. i will talk to and listen to anyone who needs a friend to do so. feel free to email me and we can start a dialogue. that goes out to anyone who needs someone to talk to.

        • JD

          this is the way to gain not only confidence in the way you carry yourself but more importantly beleif & self worth…

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEvLMig_MO0

          I use to doubt myself but when you see yourself in another light thibgs become different.

      • laksjfdlksajfdl

        kara dont be such an emo bitch Mmk?

        • Ben

          Why did you come on this site if it was to say “dnt be such an emo bitch”? God some people are stupid :/ maybe you should look in the mirror before posting comments like that because noones perfect !

        • honesty

          the rough true comments are generally what snaps me out of a rough phase and gets me thinking clearly again. Its usually the kick i need to say to myself ‘yeah stop being so damn stupid!’ or ‘ just friggen do it!’. So i wouldn’t care too much about being called a stupid emo prick. Is this even normal?..

        • Basher19

          oh dear, you obviously have a problem!  Did your advice come from the heart?  Do you feel satisfied now?  Satisfied that basically you have succeeded in making yourself look a right prick!  Feel good does it?  No, didn’t think so.  The urge to be ‘nasty’ to someone who obviously is looking for support and help with somat that is so important to them they have come on here and had courage to ask for help and what do they get? …YOU!  How dare you be so fucking ignorant.  Dude you to me are the lowest of the low, scum and a fave of mine that I only bestow on the very deserving of ‘scum’ are ., ‘Dog poo people’  YOU!  There is nowt worse than dog shit, the smell, look, everything about it is awful and you my friend fit that description perfectly, CONGRATULATIONS  now do us all a favour and fuck off

      • Sheri

        I’m not sure how good this is so late but the last comment you got was a bit much. And if that person was as tough as they made themselfs out to be they would have had a reply option on there comment. Forget people liek that. Lookinto yourself and give you a chance to go out and show poeple what you are about. There are people out there worse off so be thankful for that. Your scars dont make you who you are they just show a path that you had to go down to get ot the place your in. But it dosent mean that you will be in that place forever. Give life a chance to show you that it can get better. :)

      • jimbob

        I saw a girl at wendys the other day with cutting scars all the way up her arms. like she had sliced across her arm all the way up. she was wearing short sleeves and she was working. she wasnt smiling but she had a job and was doing a good job. fast food is where to start if you need a job and have no confidence. the fast pace will keep your mind off of other things.

      • http://yahoo elyas

        well , I just wanne say that you are not to be afraid on whats on your body, since there are so many people out there lookong what you have got in your mind or your internal beauty just make sure that you have a good heart.when evrer meeting a new people
        and be a strong girl mentaly and change this feeling in to some thing postice and powerful to come over
        and good luck.

      • Ben

        This may be a bit late , but email me at ben.du11@hotmail.fr if you need help

        • itsokay

          Im going to send you an email. Please reply to it.

    • http://www.CarePages.comprismed zoe

      Hey,
      I’m just trying to glean from this~ and wondering how to build from the ground up, basically. The last few years I’ve almost completely lost my mobility. I can’t drive, can only walk about 30 paces with a cane, wear a neck brace, ect. and live in a very isolated place.

      I don’t have many opportunities to interact with people in real time anymore. My self confidence is constantly bombarded by terrible doctors who don’t want to take the time to understand my rare conditions (and for 20 years told me they were all in my head)

      I used to enjoy a lot of activity, taught yoga and loved being athletic and out-going. Now I’m basically trapped most of the time and a burden to the people who agree to help me out- I can work on keeping a grateful heart and focus on my artistic gifts, but isolation just isn’t doing anything for my self confidence, which was never really very great to begin with, especially considering that I do have a mental disorder as well.

      Is there a site you can direct me to for disabled people in regards to building confidence? I came here by way of a site on depression- and I imagine if I felt some self confidence I wouldn’t be depressed!

      Anyway, thanks for listening.
      From somewhere over the rainbow~
      zoe

    • http://www.confidencesimplified.com Sah

      Good post.
      Personally I like the point in relation to contribution.
      If you constantly focus on and provide value to others, you will automatically gain cofidence.

      • http://www.superconfidentwoman.com Rita

        great strategies for confidence building, some of the comments were very interesting. confidence and self esteem are very close together, that is why most of the time our confidence is based on our emotions and what we think about ourself rather than how confident we are.
        If you suffer with low self esteem then your confidence is shaken.
        Do you think that we should pay more attention to doing things we know we are good at to help build confidence instead of focusing on our weaknesses,

    • jaba jones

      if you find all the things helpful that every one has suggested you should try learning some basic N.L.P. from chris howard, you can dl via bit torrent, hes changed my life and gives life skills for sucess, also vocabulary can change your life aswell, all sucsessful peoples vocabulary is vary high.

      sincerely jaba jones

      p.s. i hope some one looks into this, even just listening to it once through will give you many tools FOR LIFE

    • Tallulah

      Hey thank you for giving me some tips on how to be more confident!! I think that, because im low in confidents is because i got bullyed ALOT in the past 2 to 3 years because i had a gap in my teeth? and i had buck teeth as well [ but not that bad ] my gap was so wide i could slide a lolly pop stick thourgh it!! but now i’ve got brasses and my teeth are just about perrfuct!! now on my list is to gane some more confidents so im not so paranoid all the time so Thank you ALOT XOXO!! :)

    • Larry madlock

      This is a great analysis! Your right, everyone has emotionally charged short term feelings of confidence that manifest from superficial or insignificant stimuli. Long term confidence evidenced by personal strengths will help ride out these short waves of false confidence and leave one with a sustainable sense of self assurance.

    • Emma1118

      Hi ,I agree with you!maybe I am a completist,although my friens and families think me great,I doubt it because of I can’t do very well like my expection,I not a person who like my image.have you had same feeling?————a girl from china my e-mial  emma1118@msn.cn

    • Melania

      I love your comment!!!! I agree with you 100% if we base our self confidence on emotions it will fluctuate depending on the degree of temporary “happiness” or “unhappiness” we are experiencing, on the contrary basing our self confidence in our true internal being; principles, strengths, and accomplishments in life (not necessaraly material success) it will bring the best in us and will help us getting thru difficult times in life. It will remind us how greatwe are  instead of letting others determine our value.

    • Melania

      I love your comment!!!! I agree with you 100% if we base our self confidence on emotions it will fluctuate depending on the degree of temporary “happiness” or “unhappiness” we are experiencing, on the contrary basing our self confidence in our true internal being; principles, strengths, and accomplishments in life (not necessaraly material success) it will bring the best in us and will help us getting thru difficult times in life. It will remind us how greatwe are  instead of letting others determine our value.

    • Chris R

       I agree with this because I’ve experience so many short lived bursts of confidence from many different ‘methods’, so to speak, but in the end its the stable sense of self which is what we each need, and the short lived revelations of vitality actually end up bringing us down most of the time.
      To make this clearer, imagine someone high on drugs… They may have enough confidence in the moment to shove a bunch of talk into your head, but you think they’re gonna wake up tomorrow with the same convictions?
      On the other hand, the master in a Zen monastery may seem dull and boring to the average person, but he will always keep you on track, and he wont even need to appear hyped up to get his point across (he doesn’t even need to display his confidence in an extreme way to convey a lesson).

    • canathaigirl

      So true. If your stuck in that flaky temporary self-confidence faze though, it’s really hard to keep a stable functioning life because your so in and out of it. By that i mean that people are usually the best version of themselves when confident; outgoing, intelligent, open, approachable, and friendly. I don’t know if this is just me but I have this horrible fluctuation of confidence. I’ll be all great, happy, and confident one day, then a small bad event will make a huge tear in my sail and i find myself retreating into this weird insecure, anti-social, defensive, and un confident version of myself. It’s a problem that I struggle with almost everyday, depending on how my life is going. I’m usually at my best when like your said, I get positive external feedback from people.. then i feel more comfortable and confident in myself. I’m trying so hard to change that and just be happy and love myself for who I am, it ain’t easy. I don’t have any particular reasons and damaging events that i can think of that have made me this way.. but I do set un-achievable high standards for myself that i fail to achieve again and again. 

      So, you seem to know what your talking about in your comment I just thought I’d ask you for any feedback that you can think of..
      How can I acquire that stable, long term confidence?? what is the matter with me that my confidence is so strongly dependent of other people judgement of myself and I’m so easily brought down by a simple questionable facial expression???  I’m a 17 years old teenage girl btw, and before you point this out as a normal stage of growing up.. I’ve clearly assessed myself and realize that my self-confidence is unusually low compared to others around me.

    • Panther19937

       dude that is genius.

    • Ethiogegna

      i agree but how do you get long term confidence

    • Robinbirdd

      I like what you said and it makes more sense to me than to tell everyone, ” all you have to do is have confidence in yourself!” 
      Plus there are differnt kinds of confidence… confidence in the way you look, confidence in the way you dress and so on!  I call that false confidence.

    • http://imobilerescue.com/ Ryan

      Yea, good points. There definitely is a difference. Charged up works only for a bit – The long term thing has to be conditioned in, and yes, you have to feel like you have value. 

    • John Clad

      that’s it, I think just the same way you think, that 
      the biggest distinction is between temporary psych-up self-confidence and stable, longterm confidence: 
      http://howiw.com/How_to_Build_Self_Confidence

    • Shikha Rawal

      i agree!!

    • Sameer Sharma

      Very good comment.

      vashikaran mantra

    • Sophie

      Chris you sound like my brother Chris.

    • Saturminus

      Hello, I am Saturminus, No, Hello everyone how the heck are you all doing. it is good to be here. I see we have some movers and shakers in the house and those who live in fear. Hello, to the men and women augment, shush, we all need each other. Men is not greater than woman and neither is women greater than men. Tha! don’t say anything point close.
      Next what’s with the hair issue, man if you don’t like your hair, get it bold, hey Rastas look confident with their Dread Locks hair. Hair is not what make you!
      Shush, don’t want to hear it.
      Next what with I am afraid to talk to girls or guys ? Huh, you will never experience you fulness if you believe this trash, Now my friend here is a better way, “I am confident, bold and powerful, I can speak to anyone I choose, I believe in myself, I am quite capable, I have power, authority and determination within. I can!.

      Ok, who is next step up to the mike…. Love you all and good luck, peace, and live. Let kindness abound.Forgive those who has done you wrong, do not repay unkindness with unkindness.

      SRCombie

  • http://www.armannd.com Armand

    I totally agree with Chris here. Anyhow, whether one’s self confidence is temporary or longterm, it’s still a very good thing to have!

  • http://www.pickthebrain.com John Wesley

    Yes, he definitely has a point. But I also think that if you regularly do things that build self confidence (even if it is temporary) that confidence boost will lead to concrete success and reinforce your self confidence even more.

    There is no quick fix here, but by controlling your behavior I think a permanent improvement is possible.

  • daniel

    correct me if im wrong but i believe that if someone walks at a normal pace looking aroung not in a rush, at least it appears to me that he is more confident than someone who walks faster

    • rich

      its about moderation,not too fast ,nor too slow,if we go by speed,someone running,then will be said to have a higer self confidence,Thats not the case,

  • Novous

    Walking faster will not make you “more confident.” It’s the opposite. Walking fast makes you seem like you have obligations, for which people will be displeased with you if you’re late. As if they’ll downright leave you if you’re late. However, walking slow is more confidence thing. It says, “I don’t need to get their fast because people will wait on me.”

    • welfraid

      i dont think so
      as it depends what you think while you walk..

      first attitude
      if you think tht u are going hurry somewhere; thn tht wnt hlp u as it passes a sense of inferiority in u.
      bcoz if u were to be superior than u are nt answerabe to anyone

      secoend attitude
      u think tht u are goning for an innovation[accepting the fact tht u are most worthiest man on planet] at that time no one can stop u from becoming a highly confident person

    • Gracjan

      It’s a combination of walking fast and having a posture (shoulders up, etc.) Think about walking fast, energetic with your shoulders up and ‘confident,’ as opposed to walking slow and confident, as you don’t give a damn, or fast with your shoulders down and hunched over, obligated to get places in time. Hope all you see the point – I’m new to this. G.

    • http://twitter.com/Julie_eddie ?

      if you walk slow with your chest out and a smirk on your face then youcould look confident while walking slow, but if you look at the ground and drag your feet obviously the walk will do nothing for you. A confident walk has nothing to do with pace. what chris was trying to get at was that changing the way you hold yourself makes a difference

  • http://www.modern-worker.com Modern Worker

    Dressing sharp always works for me. I used to take exams in slacks and nice shirt!

    • Guest

      Yeah, i agree with that as well. :) I used to feel the same. It definately lifts anyone’s confidence.

  • Illusionist

    This desire to have self confidence is the bane of American society. The fact that people haven’t caught on to this is pretty sad. The fact that there are still lists of 10 ways to get more confident is even more sad.

    In my opinion, coming to peace with oneself, the role you occupy in your own life is the key to having ‘confidence’. And even then, it is a form of confidence that is diametrically opposed to the one presented here.

    Also, while being good at something sure does give you confidence, it also has the caveat of making everyone want to be the best.

    I feel cheap to cite a book that’s been written over 3000 years ago (but people should read the Tao at least once in their lifetimes): “Oversharpen a knife and it will dull quickly”.

    The point being that being bigger, better, faster, more is never going to lead you to ‘happiness’ until you learn to be at peace with yourself. To not equate your worth as a human to your worth to a corporation.

    • Tao

      The Tao states: Care about people’s approval
      and you will be their prisoner.
      Do your work, then step back.
      The only path to serenity.

      There is no reason not to strive to be your best. We grow with our

      He who clings to his work
      will create nothing that endures.

      There is a time for being ahead,
      a time for being behind;
      a time for being in motion,
      a time for being at rest;
      a time for being vigorous,
      a time for being exhausted;
      a time for being safe,
      a time for being in danger.

      Because he believes in himself,
      he doesn’t try to convince others.
      Because he is content with himself,
      he doesn’t need others’ approval.
      Because he accepts himself,
      the whole world accepts him.

      The great Tao flows everywhere.
      All things are born from it,
      yet it doesn’t create them.
      It pours itself into its work,
      yet it makes no claim.
      It nourishes infinite worlds,
      yet it doesn’t hold on to them.
      Since it is merged with all things
      and hidden in their hearts,
      it can be called humble.
      Since all things vanish into it
      and it alone endures,
      it can be called great.
      It isn’t aware of its greatness;
      thus it is truly great.

      • yuforik

        Tao
        I appreciate your forwardness in bringing the word ‘confidence’ up as a term in modern psychology and peoples lives and devaluing it by definition. I have not studied the etymology/linguistics of the term but personally feel that we jump to a concept of embodiment without acknowledging the greater picture/holisitic approach. This could lead to a religious or other intellectual self-knowledge awareness but the term of ‘confidence’ is so widely used that I don’t feel we can fully decipher between ego, emotion, authentic self, etc.

        There is that thought and truth within you that says go for it, be that strength … it is not power, it is not seeking power … it is the creator and all can prosper by feeling it and overlooking the simple linguistic terms our brain deciphers and place into commandments.

        Gratitude and honor to all posts, because without we couldn’t discover together.

        Peace and Joy,
        Chris
        AKA yuforik

    • Kelly

      Why is it sad? It’s a good place for people to read about feeling better, especially those who don’t have strong support groups and have spent a good chunk of their lives being abused emotionally and/or physically. Now, I’m sure you can think of a few hurdles you couldn’t do on your own and asked for advice. It’s the same thing. I think it’s sad that people are knocked on in the manner that forces them to have low self-confidence. I believe they can find faith in themselves. First, they need realize though that they’ve just had negative re-inforcements. Then they can realize those people are negative towards themselves first. It’s like that old english proverb, If you have one rotten apple in the bag, it spoils the rest.

  • http://www.miltonramirez.com TonNet

    I’ve already been practicing but comes just in hand for a everyday re-energizing method. Thanks.

    • tiger

      I am not the most confident person at times even though I know that I am “worth it”. I don’t know why (well, i guess there are a million reasons, but I can’t seem to pick the right solution to it all) but sometimes, I just feel so insecure. I recently got a job at a really good company. It’s a very good job that I am proud to have gotten (I feel very lucky) and the people here are really terrific. I’ve never worked somewhere where the management didn’t have some sort of power trip. I’m treated as an equal – valuable to the company. I’ve been going to school for the past two years and now I have an internship with a terrific company in a perfect situation, but my insecurities are starting to come out. You know: I’m afraid to just be myself. To speak out of who I am without feeling scared. And the weird thing that I’ve noticed no matter who I am with is that when I start showing my insecurity, they start becoming insecure too. It’s like a disease and it prohibits people from enjoying life and the fun things in it. I don’t want to let this get the better of me now. I’m doing what I want to do and I feel so fortunate to be where I am. I’m going to do my homework so that eventually it will just be fun to be who I am, no matter who I’m around. Thank you everyone for what you’ve said – except of course the idiots who just enjoy mocking people.

  • Phillydawg

    Great comment Illusionist. Face it folks. You’re average. Don’t worry about it so much. It’s hilarious to see the latest kids coming into the workforce. They’re so confident and full of self-worth. They all think everything revolves around them because for some reason in the good ol’ US of A, the whole “you’re special and above average” BS has been pushed so hard in recent years. Get over it kids. You’re not that great.

    • nreidy

      Phillydawg obviously has some self-confidence problems. Instead of putting down others, why not examine yourself?
      Not all young professionals think the world revolves around them, so I suggest you know what you are talking about before you make inconsiderate generalizations.

      • oscar

        I am with you all the way! nreidy There are two ways of looking @ everything. in a good way or in a bad way. You are what you hate and what you want to be or cant be.

    • oscar

      If you were so confident about your self you would not be reading this material in first place. I bet you do not make over 50K a year and complain about everything in life.

    • Corey

      Young People tend to think that the world revolves around them to help boost themselves. imagine how they would feel if you were always bullied at school or at home and at work.
      instead, young people do subconcious things to help themselves and i feel like people should live by the motto: “Think Before you speak”, but no one does that anymore really

  • http://imreallyawesome.com CJ

    10 Ways to Instantly Give Bad Advice. Most of these points just have to do with how other people view you. If you need people thinking you’re important to feel confident you’re deceiving yourself.

    I’d say confidence is being happy with whatever you do and whatever happens. Self-image based on how you stand against other people is flawed.

    As long as you’re alive you can think anything you want.

    • orod1one

      You must not look good at all. Maybe you should apply those 10 tips!

      • dramaqueen_

        Shutup. -.-

    • desdemona

      absolutly right

    • Riana Mh

      Too right.. I think self confidence comes when you make a fool of your self, and don’t care because then you become less worried about making a fool of yourself if it’s an accident.

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  • Tim Smith

    This is a silly article, it’s a bunch of techniques that are forced into a ‘boost your self confidence’ context which makes sense … but really doesn’t work that great.
    For instance, you could easily say that many confident people do not need to dress sharply because they rate themselves high anyway … that they are so confident they do not need the fab clothes to get things done. They can walk slowly because they are relaxed .. they are relaxed because they are confident that they’ll do things well. Walking fast could be a stress thing. Many performers who ooze confidence don’t rush.
    So yeah, I’d agree with a bit of the advice on this in a loose way. But other than that, it’s a bunch of baloney! Confidence comes from within, and that manifests itself in various ways … some confident people walk slow, some fast … some dress sharp, some don’t. some work out, some are full of lard.
    So yes. I wouldn’t take this article seriously. Nice try tho.
    Tim.

  • http://www.succeedsocially.com Chris

    Thoughts on other comments:

    -In more naive self-help writing it’s not uncommon to see confidence talked about as a kind of cure-all (not saying this article is naive, making a general comment). The attitude is, “Don’t worry about specific problem X, just be more confident and everything will fall into place”. Not only is “Just be confident” easier said than done, confidence isn’t a magic bullet. You may still need to learn and hone specific skills or change the way you think. Not all the solutions spring out of high confidence.

    -My last comment wasn’t an opinion on the original article either way, just throwing my thoughts into the mix. Some of the ideas are definitely good (e.g., dressing better, good posture – genuine improvements to yourself that will boost long and short term confidence). Some may work differently for some people than others (I personally feel more confident if I walk slowly. For me fast = stressed, nervous, and out of control).

  • http://devbleue.com Monjay S.

    I’m not so keen on this list of ways, they seem as materialistic and republished.

    Self confidence has several components. First I feel confident because of how I manage myself. Centering my perception, feelings and reactions – i.e. seeing all possible sides to a problem, avoiding blaming my self and others, and being proactive rather than reactive or nonactive – helps to avoid embarrassment, disgrace, fluster, etc… – the kinds of self judgement that lead to self doubt, self criticism low confidence and low self esteem. By this self confidence is an expression of the least amount of negative thought about oneself.

    Secondly, I might feel confident because of how others interact with me. If I am considered before a decision is made, to be on a team, or asked an opinion, or involved in a way as to be nontrivial, then I am more self confident after the interaction than before. I also like when people show interest in the things I have, but not as much unless it leads to a welcomed nontrivial interaction. Self confidence has a directly proportional relationship with external or social interactions.

    This and many other “10 ways” lists are for the physical world where print or publishing costs were too high or when a blogger’s time, patience are too limited to list all the ways to build self confidence. Ideally all the parts of self confidence should be dealt equally and fully without the restriction to 10 which is entirely unnecessary being this post is in a virtual infinite space.

  • http://www.persistenceunlimited.com Brad Isaac

    I found the comments about this post as interesting as the post itself. The strategies in this post can help boost a person’s confidence, but confidence or the belief in oneself comes from within. Everyone has a day when his confidence is low. If using these strategies helps great. I use some of the strategies listed when I am presenting in front of my peers. This gives me the boost I need at that moment.

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  • http://youtechnology.blogspot.com Ionescu Bogdan

    The only part that can be presented on paper, is 7. Sit in the front row.

    That I agree with.

    I have to do with business, manipulation and people evey day. If I would give you an advice, would be to look at Donal Trump.

    Just make a search on the internet about him, or on YouTube . See his posture, the way he walks, the way he sits, the way he talks.

    At a first glance, his posture for example, seems weak. But it isn’t. Very smart thing. He just makes you think he is a little weak, and he manipulates you from the shadow.

    Anyway, good article. It would be 200% even better if you made a video article. So people can see examples of posture, voice, eye contact.

    good luck!

    • oscar

      I like your comment, can you explain more about how he manipulates you from a shadow! thanks bud.

  • rafel

    You forgot the obvious: have sex with someone that loves you

  • http://www.360view4u.co.uk Shashank Garg

    do know about your area of operation i.e. confidence comes from the knowledge and knowledge comes from knowing things around you — be expert in your subject.

  • http://www.sciencebase.com David Bradley Science Writer

    You could just try an oxytocin spray…

    http://weirdscience.ca/2007/07/19/shyness-be-gone/

    db

  • http://www.360view4u.co.uk 360view4u.co.uk

    good one — we need more on this!!

  • http://Mourtaz.com TAZ

    Contribution is a great thing. We need to make each other stronger. Nice Article. Thank you for posting John Wesley.

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  • Montezuma

    It seems that a few people, who commented, have missed the point of the article.

    It is meant to build confidence, some one who is already confident does not need to build it in the same manner that some one who is not.

    The point of the article is to help some one with out confidence to do things that will make them feel more confident. Confidence is learned, this is a start.

    Setting and accomplishing goals incrementally is definitely goals is also essential to building confidence.

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  • http://leion.net Leion

    Confidence is sexy

  • http://www.pickthebrain.com John Wesley

    Don’t you think?

  • http://www.materialbitch.com materialBITCH

    My website is BUILT on confidence as a young american entrepreneur woman. I have to have confidence and I make sure everyone knows it.
    Rep the brand,
    http://www.materialbitch.com

  • http://www.macd.net MacD

    I agree with all of the points noted except number two: turns out that ‘important’ people (yeah, sure, that’s relative) like CEO’s of large companies etc all walk slowly. The psychology behind it is that they aren’t in a hurry; the world will wait for them and they have planned ahead well enough that they don’t need to hurry to get where they need to be on time.

  • EuroMarkus

    Good article, but it’s “Dress SharpLY”

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  • kelly

    Definatley a great start for some one who lacks much self confidence . For number two; at some point in their life they had to walk “fast” to be able to walk slow.

  • http://www.essentiallifeskills.net zhereford

    According to some of the posts, this must the fast-food version of developing self-confidence!

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  • http://www.growthplayground.com/ Kurt Seifried

    You forgot posture. It will make a huge difference, you literally will see more and people will look up to you. If people believe you are confident it will help reinforce that positive feedback loop, making it easier for you.

  • Montezuma

    Good point Kurt, acting confident may temporarily give one the feeling of confidence. In return the person will have the courage to complete a task that they would have previously shunned.

    Upon successful completion, you will now have a person that is actually more confident due to their success.

  • np

    #1 should have been dump your girlfriend. I’ve never met a girl interested in helping you be more confident. If you’re feeling low, dump that bitch now before she dumps you and move on to something better.

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  • http://irewealth.com/4 Aldo Karell

    Even if like some are saying we should know this or it sounds overused I think reminding ourselves every now and again is a good thing. It is very easy to get into a negative mind, being positive sometimes does take reminding and work. Thanks

  • David Zent

    After reading some of the rather vicious comments by the “self-realized” elite here, aren’t you wasting your self-important time with the ferocity of your protestations about a simple “ten ways” list? John has simply presented a few ideas to help the guy whose daily grind is selling, cold-calling, meeting and greeting. A lot of those guys need help in believing they can do it, and these tips help a guy believe a little more in himself, in spite of his lack of training, schooling, polish, expertise etc. Thanks for posting them, John. I know you did it out of concern for the common man, and not for the benefit of these ridiculous know-it-alls who live to carp.

    • oscar

      David, I could not of said it better my self. I am one of those sales people you just described, I am 34 and made a ton of money in real estate, so my head is as big as they get heehee! I’ve been semi-retired for a year and a half. Now i am opening a used car dealer ship on my own, and I am trying to build that sales confidence again.

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  • http://www.shinewithgrace.com Shine

    The most powerful self-confidence surely comes from within. But, I also believe that the way we walk affect the way we talk and the way we talk affect the way we feel, and how others perceive us, so, John thanks for the list. Especially I can’t agree more with pt. 1 – if you down on a particular day, dress up helps.

    And, may I add one to the list?

    # Always put a smile on the face – you yourself feel better and others feel warmer.

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  • Glynn

    Illusionist is against confidence.

  • http://www.skepticalpd.com Sieow Yeong Huah

    “Oversharpen a knife and it will dull quickly”

    There is no such thing as an “oversharpened edge”, but you can use the wrong edge for the wrong job. Would you use a fillet knife to cut down a tree? The fillet knife would dull quickly and the tree would take forever to cut down. Would you use an axe to fillet a fish? The axe blade is much too thick and you will not be able to get thin fillet slices.

    The point here is that if a tip doesn’t seem to work perhaps the situations for which it does and doesn’t work should have been specified clearly. It would be great to have tips that work in every situation but that is not always possible, just as there is no blade that can handle all cutting chores.

  • http://simra.net/blog Rob Sim

    I disagree strongly with the notion that walking fast will boost your confidence (or other people’s positive impression of you). A fast walker is someone who looks harried- totally stressed out. Rushing from one thing to another is not going to improve your state of mind. I think better advice is to focus on posture and expression- try to walk upright, focus on enjoying your trip from point A to B, and work on bringing a smile to your face.

  • http://www.JapanGamingGuide.com James

    I’d have to agree with the guy above. I’m a fast walker myself and I feel much more relaxed and confident when I force myself to slow down.

    People that walk really slowly though, they should hurry up a bit.

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  • http://nalinmakar.com NULL.in

    IMHO, confidences brings about the things you have mentioned in the 10 points…

    For me, confidence in workplace comes from being knowledgeable in your and possibly other areas… confidence in social life comes from knowing about things that happen around you, general knowledge, and a little extra cash in bank… :-) and, confidence in personal life comes from having some one who loves you…

    peace…

  • Steve

    Very good list. I’d like to see point 10 nearer the top though. Concentrate on duties and responsibilities instead of rights.

    I find walking fast winds me up a bit. It is possible to walk in a relaxed and confident way: back straight, chest out, swing the arms a little (no need to go all military), fill your space, look others in the eye and say ‘hello/good morning/hi/ whatever’ to them. You acknowledge them as a fellow human, and their response (if they give one of course) acknowledges you. They feel better. You feel better.

    Good day, all!

  • http://www.thebachelorchronicles.com Ron

    There’s a bit of voodoo in confidence. Something that’s not easy to break down into overt or perhaps even conscious behaviors or thoughts.

    I had an interesting experience in the last several days that illustrated the subtle differences in the varieties of confidence one might project, knowingly or not. I live in Greenwich Village, New York, a few steps away from a long established bar that has live music (classic rock standards) every evening. On weeknights, there’s usually just one vocalist/guitarist. Most of the musicians have been playing here regularly for several years, some for decades. All are quite talented. I spoke with one the other evening after his musical set, and he was understated and affable, conversing easily about his career and loyal fan following with both humility and candor. He had the essence of a man who was comfortable in his skin.

    I had a nearly identical encounter with another one of the bar’s musicians last evening. He too was affable and conversed about his career with ease, however spoke more pointedly–more confidently, perse–about which gigs he enjoyed and which he did not, and what the future held. On paper or filmed, both conversations and interactions would seem similar, yet the second musician left me with the distinct feeling that his confidence was of a far more superficial nature than the first musician did.

    Why? It’s hard to pinpoint, though I’m sure a psychological researcher could identify why. The body language of both musicians was not grossly different. Human beings can often sense when confidence has bedrock within a person, and when it does not–even when there’s subjectively very little difference between them.

    This speaks to the argument as to whether confidence is something you can actually possess or portray, or only something that’s conjured and ascribed to you by others after they feel that they have genuinely, sincerely perceived it. The latter is closer to true, I believe.

    While there is much credibility in the notion that purposely acting in certain ways and doing certain things will make you think and regard yourself differently, confidence is far more enigmatic than that. Mr. Wesley’s article is as fine as or better than all other pieces I’ve read that attempt to prescribe greater confidence with a list of dos and don’ts, but the challenge is that we intuitively know that confidence can’t be distilled this way, because its quintessence comes from incalculable nuances. That’s what makes such prescriptive service articles ring both solid and simplistic, through no fault of the writer.

    • Leo

      Hi Ron,
      I admire you comment a lot.
      The Objectivity of your analysis is very seducing.
      As to the content, i broadly agree with you.

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  • http://www.prodigyally.com Viv

    Even for a normally confident individual, there will be times when you feel a little smaller, a little discouraged, or a little intimidated. I do think that the above points will come in handy as a quick-fix, when you still have to go out to face the world no matter how relunctant one is at that point.

  • http://www.theHAPPINESSblog.com www.theHAPPINESSblog.com

    There is no doubt that having self-confidence leads to greater well-being and positive emotion. Great post.

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  • http://www.davidjarvis.ca Dave

    Dance.

    Seriously. Lindy Hop. East Coast Swing. Charleston. Blues. Balboa. Shag. With a name like Shag, who wouldn’t want to do it? :-)

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  • http://www.altpd.com Alex

    The walking faster part is the total opposite of how it should be. Confident people move slowly and with ease when they walk, and have little to no movement when they sit.The person who moves the least has the most power.

  • http://www.shelukhin.com Sergei Shelukhin

    I’d day that walk faster tip can be very counter productive.
    Walking faster likely leaves you less breath and ability to concentrate, or to keep good posture for that matter; it may also make you a bit nervous on a crowded sidewalk with a lot of slow strollers.
    Confident people are not in a hurry; I personally found out that I feel more confident if I slow down my pace considerably and walk normally and not extremely quickly as I usually do.

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  • Anonymous

    Thanks

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  • http://www.117selfimprovementgifts.com/index.php?id=27488 Olaf

    If you’re in a hurry, go slow!!!
    Once a woman had no chance to get some stuff via inet- download. MS, HP, all the gurus + hotliners- they had no solution (but hugh bills :-( ) So she called a friend and he came around. She went all the way on her computer to show him what will happen- it did not work. He said do it again, slowly!!! Surprise- well gone.
    How came? She used to use a habit: add the spacebar after typing the emailaddress…
    If you’re in a hurry, go slow!
    Olaf

    P.S. Make sure you also download your 117 free gifts, where
    you are able to use them to improve your life.

    Here is the link:

    http://www.117selfimprovementgifts.com/index.php?id=27488
    (Take a look at the site. It’s free.)

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  • http://www.kumito.com Bryan

    I stumbled upon this article and I liked it a lot. Gave a reference to this in my article “14 Simple Things To Do For A Better Body” here http://www.kumito.com/articles/14-simple-things-do-better-body

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  • sadara

    this is excelent

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  • PC

    Did it bother anyone else that it’s all “herself”?
    What about the men? Equal rights does not mean women get more.

    there were 10 things on the list, could have done 5 of “herself” and 5 of “himself”.
    Of course the author could have followed proper English writing rules and just stayed consistent and gender neutral but directing the comments to “yourself” as they did at the last of the article.

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  • abidakshan

    nice, but practically will it be easy to follow?

  • you commentors are idiots

    omfg this person is actually getting their infor from professionals…..you guys obviuosly lack confidence and didn’t really tried it.. I heard this from many couselors, therapists…so ppl like chris shut it what do you guys have backing what you say.. what are your sources I have tried these things and they do work… My teacher once told me if you lie to you self and say your confident many times over you are…..now I kinda agree with you this isn’t a quick fix there is never a quick fix for building your confidence everyone has to build their confidence if you commentors are looking for a one time permanant fix ghood luck cause I don’t think there is one. I personally find these to always rebuiold my confidence

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  • Jimmy

    If I had to give just ONE advice, to those who lack self-confidence and are experiencing some of the troubles we as people go through everyday. It would be to DEVOTE your life to Christ. And everything else will fall into place. Ask and you will recieve, seek and you will find, knock and he will answer. For the most part of my life I have tried to do things my way or mans way. Whether it was trying to build self-worth, being successful, financially stable, staying fit, being like by others, etc. etc. . I found that all those worries put way too much pressure on me as a person and sooner or later I would fail ( I didn’t show it physically through actions more so mentally, where I would bottle things up and it would eventually cause me to crumble).
    I personally feel that many, not all, of us put on a front, a different image of who we really are …( basically a costume we wear everyday to survive the struggles in life ) rather than being genuine & real. That right there takes a toll on many people, whether you’d like to admit it or not.
    I’ve been there before in my life and still am, but this time I am not doing it alone. I have God in my life, who is stronger than I am to help take away the burden and worries that have plagued my life. Now, with his help, teachings, values, morals, and support I am able to worry less about me, less about money, what I look like, what people think of me, if I should fail, etc. and just live and love my life.
    I am starting to appreciate the things I have and the people around me alot more i.e. family and friends. I focus on the positive things and solutions rather than the negative and looking for reasons to make me upset.
    I am by no means, trying to portray an image that I am better than others, rather that is the very cause of many self-conscious fears we have today. We directly & indirectly compare ourselves with others, thus creating fears and doubts within ourselves.
    I am still going through this trouble everyday, but I am making great progress and far from the person I was just a few years ago. I am sharing this with others so that some may come to understand that you deserve this, YOU deserve to feel good, YOU deserve to be loved, YOU deserve to be happy, YOU deserve the good things that come your way. Even if your a good or a bad person, we all deserve room for change, we all have made mistakes in the past and present.
    We ahould try and stop fufilling our emptiness with materialistic things such as, the most expensive cars, clothes, homes, jewelry, money, satisfying our emptiness with drugs and alcohol.
    And instead replace those things with something real like kindness, compassion, understanding, patience, happiness, and most of all LOVE.
    These are the things God has to offer us and through Christ we may recieve these gifts and draw closer to him.
    I know I’ve wrote alot and many might be turned off by all of these words lol, but I honestly believe this is the sole answer to everyone and anyones problem. I have alot more thoughts to share and will be more than happy too, for now I leave everyone with this. Your Life reflects how much you love God…. think about it.

    • Biryomuruwe Joshua

      Anyway Jimmy j have appreciated your advice;surely devorting to Jesus, is the only standing way to succeed in life, as he clearly say,’am the way, truth and the life’ actualy to have confidence, u have to be possesing life and Jesus is life. Brotheren let us take JESUS as our immediate kin and others will follow.keep up to JESUS.

      • lack of selfconfidence

        whoever you are…i really like what you wrote here and when i read it, it makes me feel better about myself by saying all those nice words on how to feel confident about yourself. i myself sometimes i have problems communicating with people around me because im always afraid that when i talk to people they will make fun of my accent. im always worried and afraid about people what they think about me.

        i hope someday i can gain my confidence just like others…i guess it will take time and like you said prayer and just have fait in god and he will guide and help you around your needs…

      • lack of selfconfidence

        Hello,

        I just read your blog and Im really impressed with it. I do agree on some of the suggestions that you wrote there and it kinda made me feel better.

        Im not sure if my problems is about self esteem or hating other people because I had such a bad experienced in life. Id love to share more about this with you when ever you have time please email me. Perhaps, you will be able to give some good advices.

        I too, love god and I think I’m a good person. I love to help people especially those poor ones or needy people. When I helped them it made me feel good and better about myself.

        Weii, this is it for now and thank you for taking time ready my email.

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  • Elnaz

    In my opinion,appearance is the most important thing to get confident.
    If you like your face & dressing,you’ll get sociable & you’ll be brave enough to show yourself to the others & you’re not shy anymore.

    (That’s what I’ve experienced myself)

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  • http://unknown boudi

    good information

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  • Melissa

    I recently migrated to a new continent..new culture, new people…suddenly lacking self confidence at work struck me..and i am trying to figure out how i can win this debacle…and i came across this article or blog as you may call it. The comments did add some enlightenment. And I would say I have been walking slowler than before since I got here. It made me think twice if walking really has something to do with confidence. Now I will try to walk fast on Monday to work :o) Sure it wont hurt to try :o) To build confidence one needs to read more and fill up ones tiny little mind each day with something new. So you may be able to communicate with others…I think that is the best but the hardest way.

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  • http://www.mindtools.com ASA=>Ahmed alhajri

    good ways
    I hope that i got benifits

  • Shakeeb

    those 10 stratigies are pretty impressive but a person unconsiously does these things when he is self confident, and the point here is that when ever you do something you just think that how would a confident person will react in this kind of situation and just react that way. after some time you will get used to these habits and will develop a habit of doing this.
    other thing about walking pace is that should not walk too fast nor to slow because if you walk too slow it describes that you are confused about something and wondering aimlessly and if you walk too fast,it means you are in some kind of pressure and fear (fear from boss, instructor for being late). it is also a sign that you have somekind of unstability in yourself does’nt look mature.

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  • http://www.dougwoods.com Douglas Woods

    There are some great tips and strategies here.
    You are right to say that clothes do not make the man and yet dressing sharp can affect the way we feel about ourself.
    I very much like the concept of gratitude and saying thank you to people or events that have helped you each day.
    Exercising and working out, too, are important. There is an old saying ‘healthy body, healthy mind’ which I feel is apt in resect of confidence too.
    In my work I see many people who feel that a lack of confidence holds them back in life. These strategies I’m sure would help many of them.

    Thanks
    Doug
    http://www.dougwoods.com

    • riat cali

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  • http://www.myspace.com/soundwave86 dw

    i say its better to walk more slowly, and be more accepting of your journey! this takes confidence i think, more so than rushing around

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  • http://www.tallboy.co.uk/etc/courses/presentation-coaching.php Presentation Coaching

    There are some great tips here but I really do think that the most important factor is number 6 – Compliment other people. It really does help with your presentation and thinking if you are positive about your work colleagues.

  • http://none mona

    thank u .i have a huje lack of self confidence. but when i tryed to think about it i found myself that in most cases i have been modest and people judjed me that im weak, and i don’t believ in my self. peopel around me tell me and all the time try to convince me that im good and i have to be proud of who i am because it is me and i couldn’t have been someone else.but i find it hard to believ them because i don’t truste people that much . they all say that i want to be perfect and do something outstanding,whereas my objective is to do someting correct for once. im 19 about to get my 20s and i still don’t know who i am what am i going to do .i still think of my life as an accident ,unwelcomed accident.my familly loves me my parents and brothers and sisters care about me .sometimes i feel im the center of their lives. that’s why i try to do my best to make them proud of me .however no matter what i do i never achieve the degree to make them satisfied that’s what i think.i miss motivation in ly life .if i am motivated i believ i can reach the moon.my lack of responsibiilty is the most tornment to my soul. all the time i seem sad and furious and i laugh ,however,i immidiately regret it. always i care about peopel and say to my self’ what would be their point of view about me?” what me for them?” why don’t they treat me well ? eventhough they ‘ve done nothing wrong. i study english at university and i feel so inferior to my classmates .at class when a teacher launchs a certain idea .i get some stupid answers in my mind while the answer when it is said tottaly faaaaaaar from what i thaught about.STUPID.and i am a bit fat well not very fat but full shaped .which is sth that disturbs me. i believ in god but i don’t feel like satisfying god.when people think of loving god and his prophet. i just find hard to feel that love which is sth i wish i can achieve one day.i am so carismatic. and i believ in hard working and responsiblity. plz comment.thank u

  • http://danwalker667hotmail.com dw

    mona
    reading your post it looks like you are caught up in self doubting thought processes.

    don’t worry about age most peeople never know exactly what they want to do. why should you? we live in an age of uncertainty which is why it is a very hard time to be a student. i am too a student.

    i must say, a breakdown, even though horible, was what i needed to smack me in the face and provoke me to think for myself.

    i say this because it has provoked me to learn to find time for myself. see what i like, what I want and what i want from life.

    your life is your own, you should stop worrying what your mates, your family or ANYone else appears to ‘want’ from you and find time to learn to love yourself.

    trust me im no hippie, this i have learned through experience.

    ‘a wise man learns from experience, an even wiser man learns from others’ experiences’ -plato

    oh and do you excercise or do many hobbies? it is important to do things that interest you.

  • http://none mona

    dw, “self doubting thaught proccesses” wonderfull sentence.u mentioned sth about time? well i make u sure that time which is preserved to my privacy and life and inner thaughts is more than any other thing.i believ in contemplation and wondering in the world and people .but i never thaught this will lead me to be a prisoner of a wrong immagination.anyways.about hobbies, i used to draw profiles and human’s faces meanwhile i try to see my self through that painting .i succeeded, but i faced horrible reactions that say “it’s against our religion” .well no comment?. later on i stopped and i used to write well not correct poetry but well verses that expresse me. i enjoyed them but unfortunately this abilty to writing wasopressed because of an accident that i feel sad and humiliated to talk about.so i better keep it for my self.now i gave up all my hobbies ad i live to live. and my main concern is to reach my last day and leave this world peacfully. as long as i do noth in return ….anyways Mr dw thanks for ur answer.it was helpfull .but still words shape that clutter image in my mind and thaghts seem foggy and takes time to be cleared up .and as usual putting sth into practice is harder than emptying the sea.thank u so much.

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  • http://www.visualizeforsuccess.com Nancy Hoe

    I certainly agree with your pointers. Thank you for your tips.

    Truly Yours
    Nancy

    http://www.visualizeforsuccess.com

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  • great

    Hey, just wanna say thanks

  • mona

    thank u for all .really thank you so much.

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  • danielle

    As a recent graduate of philosophy who came accross this article in a “next-step” search, i must include a few observations. I have spent years listening to the people around me, studying identity and trying to comphrehend the springs from which a person’s concept of being flows, and i have discovered that so many share a link. When i consider the people i know who are thought confident, myself often one, many of them do have the traits described. And none of them think about it.
    A past lover once told me he thought i seemed confident. Really? i asked. Why? He shrugged, and this has been the basic response. Confidence is not fixed, it is a processural stream which people may step in and out of which is in a constant state of flux. And they do this unknowingly.
    What is amazing about confident people to the unconfident person is that they seem to be without a care in the world, or at least, their cares seem not to bog them down. And that is their choice. The human mind can overcome anything. Once you realize that only you control how you experience the world, confidence will no longer be an issue. You can take things in stride, take them with a grain of salt, or not take them at all. Life’s possibilities are endless. Go.

  • d

    agreed, seeing confidence as fixed is not a real idea.
    this is something ive been getting at but haven’t quite realised before now… ta danielle!

    do you think the realisation of that you control your world means ‘understanding’ it.. after all people are apparently afraid of what they do not understand?

  • danielle

    It’s interesting that you connect the idea to fear, however, that people often fear what they don’t understand is a very general sentiment. I think of how often heterosexual people who are homophobic, for example, are claimed to be afraid of homosexual persons, that is afterall implied in the term. And this is linked to the idea that they fear what they don’t understand. However, i do not think it’s fear, and i don’t think it’s that they don’t understand. The problem in this example is that they do think they understand, and they have done so within a limited construct. When i claimed that people often don’t realize that they control their world, ie, their perception or experience of the world, i didn’t mean that they lack an understanding of it. What I meant was that they often are not aware of the possibilities of their experience, that they control what they perceive, and as such they can overcome said barriers and choose how they feel about whatever occurs in their life irregardless of the given circumstances. Any barriers people percieve in life, that maybe they need ‘confidence’ to overcome, are usually only perceived by them. And to many people this realization may seem “easier said than done,” due to a number of factors, maybe even fear, like you suggest. But if fear has any place, it is in that part of ourselves that knows, deepdown, that there are no barriers in life other than our minds, that we can go forth as we please, and that we are responsibile for the choices we make.

  • http://www.myspace.com/soundwave86 d

    cool, understood… almost

    so for someone who thinks they lack confidence, it is more so the failure to see opportunity in front of them

    do you mean this article is wrong, cos it thinks it understands ‘confidence’

  • danielle

    I think the article is surface level. It is addressing the symptom rather than the cause. It gives options as to improve one’s confidence, so to speak, but it ignore’s my initial point. I spoke about people who appear confident, and noted that they basically aren’t occupied with whatever may mentally ail them. My second passage elaboarted on the concept, locating their not being preoccupied with such things in their choice to not be preoccupied. These are the things that help/hinder confidence. This article isn’t wrong, per se, but it’s kind of like of get-rich-quick scheme for the mind. All along however, a person is working towards achieving what i have been positing all along: don’t worry, brush it off, go forth. If this is done, then confidence seeking becomes moot, because you’re mentally in the clear.

  • MoNa

    i really wanted to understand but it seemed a little bit shallow. what u said about understanding the fact of being “confident”. amazed me. but the question of fear in’t really clear. talking about myself, i ‘ve a terrible lack of confidence but i read the comments written above and i learn step by step. Actually, i would like you to talk a bit about the milieu and its effet on the person. how friends n responsibility n familly ,to some extenct, can affect the person… , ur anlysis is really impressing but personnaly i believ that what is scientific and professional can’t easly get into everybody’s mind. people ain’t all the same. unless the speech is adressing a specific category of people. thank you so much
    .

  • http://www.myspace.com/soundwave86 d

    i notice everything ive come across has all pointed to that . ways to let go –

    suppose the question is what is the best ways to do that

    and i take it when the reasons are more disturbing thats when proffessional help fits in.

  • danielle

    Thank you, Mona. You say you have a lack of confidence which indicates to me that you are not sure of yourself for one reason or another. It sounds like you have a tough situation going on, that you’re really struggling in some respect. Although i was not writing to a specific audience, as i think my ideas apply to all, I was not writing about people who have barriers outside of their control. Some people have physical or mental disabilities, which are hard to overcome but not impossible, I promise. Some people, especially young ones, feel trapped or that their lives are not in their control when they have issues with their families or peer groups. But even these situations can be changed. There is a tendency when we are young and have yet to experience the world to look inward for the solutions to our problems. However, that is the source of the problem. Do not think I am placing blame or directing shame. I am simply saying that people often get so wound up in whatever is holding them down that they don’t realize that it usually is only within them that the barrier exists. In your situation Mona it seems like you have spent alot of time trying to find the answer yourself, which is quite admirable considering so many people never even try, but that is not the only way. You should reach out to a counselor. If you’re in school, talk to a teacher or counselor there. Your friends and family can’t give you the help a trained professional can. Also, you should have someone help you locate a social service agency that could help you find more resources. If there’s one thing i’ve learned, it’s to never be afraid to ask for help from those who can give it. And take pride in knowing that the fact that you’re trying to better yourself is proof that you have the strength within to do it. Be well.

  • http://www.myspace.com/soundwave86 d

    hey dannielle, love philosophy but wasnt brave enuff for the degree!

    what do you think the best way to think is?
    e.g. i was thinking earlier its probably best to:
    1. elliminate inner dialogue
    2. focus on what you want

  • http://www.myspace.com/soundwave86 d

    hey dannielle, love philosophy but wasnt brave enuff for the degree!

    what do you think the best way to think is?
    e.g. i was thinking earlier its probably best to:
    1. elliminate inner dialogue
    2. focus on what you want (as opposed to what you dont want)

  • desdeMona

    Amazing. i appreciated .but let me focus on few palces where u mentioned respect.i believ i couldn’t make my
    self clearer,but still have a chance to do so. my lack ofconfidense is what i was told to have not what i discovered myself. in class at home ..let me tell u something. i always say things that somebody else woudln’t dare to reveal.for instance.i always have that fear of failure,looking diffrent,expressing my real feelings but never afraid of saying the truth.many around me translated this to my eager for perfection. which is absolutly the opposit. i express my worries openly before all my friends,actually, no specific person .however i discovered this is not a successful outlet to feel good . cus backbiting hurted me so much. but now things has changed to the best. it is said that “ne pas cherchez a contenter les uns et les autres car les gens sont pas les memes’. i really believe in this saying. not everybody are safe not to fall in self doubting confidence. no body is perfect.i believe in a “change” but time palys an important role which i do respect.in fact, i lost many people because of my being stern. mayeb this artical is not realy well organized, but i decided not to erase a single word ,believing that it’s a step toward building selfconfidence. and excuse my english because it’s not quiet good. plz respond. All in all “repsected Danielle” . the time ur giving to this site trust me is very worth to be spent for. im so glad i recieve such analysis from a professional. because i acually have no well trained prcon in this field to criticise or analyse who be am..just carry on this actvity it’s a helpfull way u r affording to “poorish” people like me. Thank you.

  • http://www.myspace.com/soundwave86 d

    mona please have a look at:
    http://www.uncommonforum.com
    anxiety2calm.com

  • danielle

    Asking a philosopher ‘what is the best way to think,’ is probably one of the most complicated questions one could ask! To respond to your suggestion, i don’t know how one could eliminate inner dialogue, as thinking is basically a conversation with yourself, unless you mean second-guessing yourself. And second-guessing yourself needs to be distinguished from one’s conscience, which is that manifestation of inner dialogue.
    That’s a tough call. In the Anglo-American tradition, the best way to think would be to consider all repercussions of an action before you act. However the continental philosopher would argue that in such a case they are not acting naturally, whatever that may be, and are in fact restraining themselves in some fashion. The continental philosopher would argue the best way to think would be with spontaneaity, to say and do whatever comes to mind. And this, the Anglo-American would say, is foolish. That’s what the greats think. Now I’ll leave it to you to decide.

  • http://www.myspace.com/soundwave86 d

    i suppose i am refering to second guessing; as without second guessing you would act without questioning yourself at every turn. its all good and well having a conscience as it can help, but i believe second guessing can not help as it may help provoke what we call mental illness.

    my point of focusing on what you want as opposed to what you dont want must mean elliminate second guessing also.

    by the way i definetly agree with the anglo-american, why act spontaniously when your mind may be full of hate.

    cheers
    d

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  • SONICA

    The points covered here r very good to build your selfconfidence. My confidence loosed over the years while knowing the people and their attitute especially in very personl relation as well as work envionment and ur boos. The way your boss treats you. So I would say guys just call yourself that “I am the best” and should not allow anyone to decrease your morale and and confidence. Believe in one thing, “If u belive urself people ( world) will believe in you.”

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  • desdeMona

    good point SONICA. thx

  • Sophia

    I agree, except I’d add that you have to make sure you don’t cross the line into arrogance like this blog points out: http://sophiasparx.blogspot.com

  • oscar

    I cant believe i am reading these negative comments from you guys! some comments do make sense like the walking fast. Here is a quick profile on most of you guys who think one or more of the 10 tips are stupid. Your all or most of the following!!!! “Single” some college, over weight, “NEGATIVE” not sure of what you want in life, never really achieved anything, making no more than 25K, hates their job, or jobless, does not really get along with anyone. And need to hide behind a computer to make silly comments,very insecure of themselves, I make over 100K and still looking to refine my sales skills. Your supposed to learn from good and bad. I love this diggs.com see you all laters

  • oscar

    Please do not offense by my comments! But here are my 2cents.

    To Phillydawg: Your average cus you say you are! Dont think of yourself like that!

    To Tim Smith: Your right in someways! But Its obvious your lifestyle does not require you to dress up. I highly recommend everyone to look nice! You do not need to buy clothing from Chanel, Eddie Bauer, or Versaci. Walt Disney said, “image is everything”. Joseph Kennedy, father of J.F.K. and R.F.K. Said “its not what you are but what people think you are”.

  • oscar

    Confidence can be applied differently, for instance! Homeless have to be the most confident people alive! why? Because not everyone can approach people to give them money. Now that takes confidence. But look at their appearance its repulsive. You should dress nice and look nice because you care about your self. Not because you want people to think your confident. I have to admit when I dress sharp. I turn more heads than usuall and I feel like a million bucks! I do belive in some small way that how you look is how you feel about everything. I tend not to socialize with people whom turn positives into negatives. I think these are the best ten tips I have read so far this year. I will apply them to my new business venture. I used to be negative about EVERYTHING in life. When i turned it around I tripled my income, kept more friends, and became overall a better person.

  • Broman

    I really don’t agree with what you say. All that you talk about are things that are temporary. Sure everyone should wear neat clothing etc but it doesen’t enhance the way we perceive ourselves. Confidence is the feeling that you have the ability to do something. By wearing nice clothes you’ve eliminated the fear or atleast lestened the fear of looking bad style wise, but whose to say that you aren’t worrying about your weight, your voice, your posture, your acne, your stutter, your one leg, whatever. There are a million things that could be influencing that persons confidence, some of which are unchangable but could still be accepted by the individual. Confidence is the ability to accept who you are regardless of what inabilities you may have. The only thing which i can truely agree with is the speak up part because it conditions you to have an equal part in conversations.

    I look forward to any replies because i am extrememly interested in this area of peoples lives :)

    • http://www.pickthebrain.com John Wesley

      You are right that some of these things that are temporary, but they also do affect our self perception.

      If you dress sloppily, what does that say about the opinion you have of yourself? Do you consider yourself important?

      None of these things will cure all your woes, but I do think they can help. Something as small as taking better care of your appearance will make others see you in a different light and change the way you see yourself.

      • Broman

        Yeah i agree. I guess my post wasn’t all that clear on it but i believe that clothing, colognes etcetera do impact upon your self confidence but there is also something i believe much deeper than that. Its like the person who has millions but can’t get in front of a crowd of a thousand people and give a speech. More than likely he has the finest colognes, clothing and equipment but in an instant its worthless. I don’t know if it seems like i’m talking in riddles but in different situations the boost that his look gives him is so minute that its worthless. I have a mate who is blonde and has a six pack but has absolutely no confidence around women. So what i want to know is what is ‘it’ because to me it can’t be found in appearance.

        Looking forward to your reply.

        • http://www.pickthebrain.com John Wesley

          Well, I guess that’s the million dollar question. Maybe there are no words to define ‘it’.

    • oscar

      Broman, I hate to say this but I truly believe you pretty much described yourself in oneway or another. Everything in life is temporary we would of never evolved into what we are now if we did not seek change in our lives .We are wired to constantly be on the move. I truly believe people really do not understand human evolution. Part of living and surviving is adaptation. Example: Ellis Iland was the T.J. of today 100+yrs ago, humans will constantly look for change so temporary should be a part of everyones lives. I truly believe everyone on this website has issues, because if you were not looking to better yourself you would not be on this website. Confidence is a double edge sword confidence is something that just does not happen, it takes time and you will hit the floor many times before you understand it. Confidence is something good and bad. People like and dislike confident people. I learned that 99.9% of people are really good a giving advise and have wisdom but, less than 1% of us actually practice what we preach. infact I really do not know anyone whom does or practices every piece of advise they give but its really good. I am truly happy that I found this website. I just got divorced i had to give up 3/4′s of my assets and liquid capitol, I have to start from the bottom again I didnt think I would be able to get to level i was, making 7figures, but I will sure try and all of you will help me get there. I was a real estate developer in Riverside California, but when you create money you also create a whole lot of other issues taxes, disgruntle people, lending money, the money goes and comes but the problems seem to always remain. I may have to look for a job soon if i dont liquidate some of my left over assets. So in a nut shell I need the courage and confidence to be a sales person passout flyers, and talk to people like I did 5 yrs ago. I know what to do but I need the courage and confidence to do it. Wish all of you luck and success.

      • Broman

        Hi Oscar,

        I truly appreciate your honesty in describing your situation and hopefully we can help you, just as you help us :)

        I believe that yes i did in some ways describe myself. I am a confident person in many situations, i’ve spoken in front of crowd of two hundred for 8 minutes, played jack johnson to a crowd of seven hundred but some things just throw me like being in social situations and approaching groups of people i’ve never met before. I guess everything we are confident with we have become familiar with so you are right when you said ‘it takes time and you will hit the floor many times before you understand it’

        Looking forward to your reply :)

        • oscar

          I truly like your 2nd post to John, Anyways Confidence in my opinion is not what people think you but how you dont care about what people think of you. I need to put it together better but you catch my drift. broman, I truly believe and I could be wrong but most of the people online have a fear of been in public or are more to themselfs. I havent pin pointed it but!!!! Every single person online is very confident about typing their problems away on a keyboard, all we need to do is somehow figure out a way to carry this confidence throughout the day. I still havent got the courage to go out and pass out flyers for the car dealer ship, its a small lot but its a start. I did speak with three people at a gas station this morning because I was filling up a car and it had the for sale stickers. Tomorrow i will stand outside of wal-mart and pass out my flyers, I keep printing them but not passing them out.
          I welcome your advise and thank you for replying back…
          your bud oscar

          • Broman

            Glad you liked the post. I guess my only advice that i could give to help you out is don’t perceive your customer as this amazing thing that is greater than you. Just before you are about to go out and hand out the flyers stop and think about how everybody has insecurities and hopefully it will boost you confidence with approaching people. I know it works for me :)

            Also you might want to think about looking at body language because maybe you are giving off a ‘vibe’ that you don’t want to be approached.

            Not sure if this helped or not.

  • oscar

    All i am saying is how can you be confident looking like crap! Usually people bring down other people. you are who you hangout I never seen donald trump hanging out with people we tend to discriminate. It kinda sucks that some people here can turn the 10 tips into a negative. Everything in life, nature is temperary you have to stimulate what ever it is you adapt. Even when you work out you can lift the same weight all year long but when you change the angle you will stilmulate growth. You can be confident for maybe 8hrs with new clothes, but that is why you need to understand that anything in life you adopt will need maintenance.

    • desdeMona

      confidence?? many tips r being given to tell n help people how to ameliorate their selfesteem right?.great. but weird when most of the given advice works all on the side of how that person is accepted by his surrounding;while it ignores tottaly how that person is ready to reach an understanding to his situation.is it through people that we make it to build our own self confidence. but why it is said “celui qui connait l’art de vivre avec soi_meme ignore l’ennui”….also there is a point i admired but never could to express however Mr OSCar has just benn to the point saying” I learned that 99.9% of people are really good a giving advise and have wisdom but, less than 1% of us actually practice what we preach. ” pretty good expression.

      • oscar

        Mona, I am not sure what angle your coming from but it sounds like your not happy with somethings in your life. I learned from a business partner 10yrs ago something I will never forget. He said, No degree no schooling, no college etc, will teach you what another persons life experiance can. Dont make all the mistakes your self learn from others. This guy is a millionaire, I dont even think he is legal in this country, but he owns like 50 99cent stores. Desdemona, you are obviously online for a reason you need to accept the fact that you are like ALL of us online seeking help to be motivated and have get that bounce in our step again. I learned that the first step to tackling a problem is to recognize it and of course to accept it. mona let let your anger out that is part of recognizing you have an issue, I dont believe in the word problem. You guys, 100 yrs ago we did not have to remember 20 passwords, indentity theft, car loans, payments, and if you live in California, social status is a must “keep up with the jones’es” I am still wondering why? but i fell for it.
        So our brains really cannot handle all of that over load. So we lashout at what ever we do not understand Especially old scool people like most of us. I will repeat my self, we all have somekind of issue otherwise we would not be having this discussion. Mona are you french or is that just a prop! I am the first to admit that before, alcohol gave me the confidence I needed to take on everyday tasks. But then, it started creating more problems than I could handle. So now I am seeking a natural supplement. You guys know what is sad but true… Most of us if not all of us feel somewhat better to see that other people have the same if not worse problems than us. “SO LET IT OUT” heehee

        • Broman

          Hi again oscar,

          When you said that you use to use alcohol as a way of taking on everyday task it triggered something which i have always thought about for a long time. I’m from australia and we are fairly big drinkers as a society, but every party i use to go to i would get smashed as a way of being able to be confident around people. I never really thought about it that much when i did it but now i have come to realise what i was doing. I was simply covering up how inadequate i felt with alcohol. Now when i go to parties i’ll either have nothing or try to limit myself. Thought you would find it interesting.

          • oscar

            Well you dont have to tell me about alcohol, I am Mexican 2nd generation in the states, My parents arrived in the states in 1951. My girfriend is white and her family drinks, so I learned that alcohol does not discriminate. Our brain functions are chemically triggered, I am researching exactly what chemical reaction triggers us to be so social when we drink. I know Alcohol suppreses our shyness part of the brain. Or if anyone here knows please share it with us. Sad part is that all it takes is one bad incident to throw away a year of confidence building. OMG I dont even go to parties anymore, usually all my old drinking buddies try to hug me and they stink wreak! all they talk about is non-sense. I am over that hurdle.

        • desdemona

          SIR oscar .one thing, THANK YOU SO MUCH .n thanks for joining this cite wot u r saying in general makes sense n ur thoughts are a spice that makes our discission more delecious . cus u r kind of analysing each one’s situation in a simple way everyone can get it. gracias.

  • oscar

    broman, you and i share the same problems, Its taco tuesday here in cali, so i am out to have dinner. I enjoy talking to you. So like the terminator./; I’ll be back! You have the same thoughts i have, we must of had the same life experiences training or share the same background somehow.
    thanks bud. I truly believe that sharing ideas thoughs and experiences is all a person needs to get through their issues. I always seek ideas from day to day people who actually work, and sweat as i do. No offense to Psychiatrists but I think they can tell us why and the hows the brain works but I would never ask them for advise. They live in a world thinking that everyone that goes to them is phsyco. Atleast that is what I think. I am off to my tacos. 3 for a dollar at del taco. cant beat that if I wanted to.

    • Broman

      Glad i’ve helped :)

      I don’t think i would go and see a psychologist but i love reading books on psycology. I’m reading one now called called change your thinking by Sarah Edelman and i’m finding it really helpful. Not sure if you can get it in the states because its by an australian psycologist.

      I know its going to take a while to read the following but this is from the book and i thought it was pretty cool.

      ‘All events are causally determined – this is a basic scientific principle that applies to human behaviours as well as the laws of nature. Everything that happens in the universe occurs because the circumstances that prevail at the time cause it to happen. Whether a volcano erupts or a leaf falls from a tree or your computer crashes, it is because all the factors that were necessary for those events to occur were present at the time. This same principle also applies to human behaviour. Everything we say and do, including those things that turn out to have negative consequences, happen because all the factors that were necessary for them to occur were present at the time. We could not have behaved differently given all the factors that prevailed, including our limited knowledge and awareness at that point in time, and if all those circumstances recurred we would do exactly the same thing. In retrospect, we can see the consequences of our actions and realise that it would have been better to have done some things differently. After the event, we can learn from our experience (new knowledge and awareness) and try not to repeat our mistakes. However as we did not have that knowledge and awareness at the time blaming our past actions is both irrational and self defeating.’

      :)

      • http://modernseducer.wordpress.com/2011/12/26/how-to-be-more-confident-article-series-1-the-concepts-of-just-being-yourself-and-failure/ How to be more confident

        I would also add that there needs to be a sense that failure is not an option.  Most success in building confidence comes from the idea that one will learn something with each attempt until they reach their goal

  • miko

    hi guys maybe im the new born here trying to digen himself with these words but let me share my view too.
    well,self estmate is one of the most hurting issue in everybody’s life if somebody doesn’t trust or lost his word of trust i think (s)he would close all the doors of life and see the world in a very limited view whereas (the world is bigger than we can imagine) how???ok if we went through our imagination,we would never stop cos our dream has not an end so this can take us away from what we call loose of hope or luck of trusting the other.all what we see and live has no sense!! yeah no sense as long as we’re limited minded.i think if we do not tend to understand facts,people,ideologies…we’ll never make any good that we all dream to realise it.one thing more, it is the weak of humain being. yeah this play another big role in distructing our hope n trust as well.it has to do with the first one cos when we can do anything we excuse and try to escape cos again we dont have the ability to face and confront and which makes our situation more puzzling than what it was in the beginning.well as they said dont take life too much serioously,we won’t get out of it alife means things has simple order is GOD to him we’re going back so there is no need to desire things you can’t have and then say i can’t trust if you want to trust get to start by yourself dont depend on others to do it for you everything done in your own world must be controlled by you cos your the god in your world under the supremecy of the LORD of everythings .
    well that was me miko every single damn idea is from me n evil whereas all the great n good point is from him the Almighty thanks gentleme for listening n reading.

  • d

    couldnt quite understand what your sayin miko but interesting.

    if we are talking about being a good business man i am sure the tips on this page will help you look good for a speech and such like. you dont necessarily have to carry these tips in all your life ‘cos i dont think it is healthy to do so.

    everyone is different but everyone can learn to realise that you are responsible for your own actions. the more this happens you can let go of so called insecurities.

    finding cruches is not the way for a healthy mindset IMO

  • oscar

    thx mona, john, broman… I was visiting my parents yesterday,
    welcome mico but WTF are you talking about Miko, I am new to this and i love it, we all are different in everyway on this post but we share the same issues, we all lack confidence, and courage which I think is pretty much the same thing. broman i went out to radio shack last night and I took one of the cars from the lot, I think i sold my first car! I want to thank everyone who posted and replied to my crys for help!!!!. I could not of done it without you!!! I swear my confidence went from negative one million to positive ten trillion to the 10th power. MIKO; It seems that you obviously read a lot, but it seems like your living in an authors shoes, or a fantasy world… you need to understand what works for someone else oes not mean it will work for you!!! I have a twin brother the only thing we have incommon is we both like attractive lesbians. heehee “miko” live simple, we are our own worst enemies. I am with “d” i did not understand your post! keep it simple i live by that. Their is answer to every problem and usually the simples is the best one. My girl thinks i have an online relationship because all day i check my email, i told her I have several of them heehee…. laters

  • oscar

    Please no one take offense with this post.”BUT”
    I read most of these posts and it seems like most of them are posted for the wrong reason. Let me explain! I could be wrong but it seems like, most people post comments from literature they read and not actuall experiences. Most of us like to escape reality by reading and imagination which is a result of lack brain stimulation. The mind tends to make up stuff on its own when there is nothing to stimultate it. miko; its sounds like you need to go out more…! It sounds kinda like let me impress you with crap I really dont understand and maybe it will make me seem more intelligent. We are all intelligent, and the reality is that we tend to mask things we do not understand with crap no one understands. Like, maybe if I confuse the hell out of everyone they may think OH! this person really knows what he’s saying or doing when in reality that is not the case. Also it seems like all the advise or comments posted are from some kind of best seller book or something! You guys again 99.9% of us are pretty good at giving advise but we tend not to use it ourselves. I like to have reality checks now and then. Again I dont mean to offend anyone. I trully dislike but like it when someone critizises me! Because, that is like grinding the burrs and defects from my life to make my days easier.

    • Broman

      Hi Miko,

      I haven’t really spoken to you yet and my advice is to get some lessons or coaching on sentence structure or similar because i feel that you can’t articulate what you truly feel. I can understand that you have issues but i can’t truly grasp the full extent of your problems. I’m not trying to be mean i’m just being honest.

    • Broman

      Hey oscar,

      Not sure if the literature comment was aimed at me or not so i’ll give you a real life situation so you can be happy :)

      I have a huge fear of being rejected by women. Fucked if i know where it comes from but anyway. At like every party i go to there always seems to be someone i want to be with but every time i go to approach them i fuck up. I tense up, sweat, all that shit, you know the fight of flight response. But i’ve read heaps of books which you seem to have a hatred of :) and it helps a lot. I now realize that i was focusing on how fucked up my body was which only made it worse and i was also catastrophising which means seeing the worse in every situation, the worst thing being completely shut down and having others see it happen. So now whenever i’m in that situation instead of focusing on how bad i feel, i focus on how good the situation could be and all the times that i’ve had with other women that have gone smooth as fuck :)

      Hopefully that isn’t to bookish for you :)

      • oscar

        Hey broman, I can tell you what, if you act like if you own the world I dont care what you look like heads will turn, trust me!!! Women like confident men! I get off like I own the universe. I do pretty good in that department, I was horrible thoe, i was so shy. IF i tell you what someone was doing to me while i was typing earlier It would BLOW your mind.

        • Broman

          Yeah i get what your on about :)

          I’m heading out to a party tonight and I’m so keen for it. I’ve been thinking about a bunch of times where I’ve been so smooth and confident and I’m in a mindset that anything is possible tonight!!

          I’ll tell you how i go tomorrow but i’m quietly confident i’m going to have an awesome time tonight :P

          Hmm i’m curious have any of you read ‘The Game’ or any books similar to it ???

  • http://www.myspace.com/soundwave86 d

    aha!

    that is why i said i think its not healthy. we all do it as you say though

    • oscar

      Miko, i trully do not mean to offend you non of us do. We are all here for the same reason. Pretty much all of us like to feed off of others problems../ Look at Britney Spears, thousands of people go through that daily where is the media? I think I actually know why people like to see others down. Number one it tells us WOW i am not the only one that is screwed up! and two we love to come to the rescue of others its our nature. It some how makes us feel like we mean or meant something to someone. miko} I sense you’re not happy something dramatic happened recently let it out!!! talk to us or email me or someone! hey “d” you were onto something with miko. thanks bud oscar

  • desdemona

    woww wow wow guys? what is this adversed attack on miko?? u keep saying we r all here for the same reason that we lack something or need help.n i believe this will be reached through trying to understand if not pick up points that indicates what that person really is trying to say. everyone here has a message has an idea .some have the ability to expresse it somehow , others get confused and expressions just fail them. and i believe that this guy here “miko” said he is the new born. so let’s respect his excitement to join this site n this discussion…trust me ,i see many ideas in miko’s comment, so confused, a mixture of thoughts that explains a certain stance toward one’s life. and those ideas just give a foggy picture unable to be contemplated.simply sir”miko” would u please emphasize what do you really want to say .because it’s too vague up there. we would appreciated .SIR Oscar. u said u felt a huje change from negative to posetive. well thanks to this site me too i really have many things which have taken another direction.for me i believe that to find somebody to talk to is the best remmedy to ones suffering.Befor, i used to chatt n say whatever i ‘ve deep inside ,however,i feel worse than before;but once i got in this conversation i started to feel better .then i said to myself”AT LAST SOMEONE TO UNDERSTAND”. also, whenever i switch on my PC ,the first thing i do is: “yo girl GO TO PICK THE BRAIN’S MAILS” unavoidable action.guys i trully wanna thank ou for all and keep on helping eah other becuse nobody’s perfect. GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU.

  • oscar

    heehee… We are all here for the same reason trust me! to somehow better our lives, and second to feed off of each other, besides i have nothing else better to do::miko:: I stand by my earlier post! There are two ways of taking things. Good or bad! IF anyone here thinks you can post something that dramatic and not get both negative and positive feed back!@ You truly do have issues, I though i understood he was new born to this blog. If you want symphaty I dont think you’ll get it ere. miko is kool reply miko, i just think he or she has really deep thoughs he or she wants to let out! Take the Bull by the horns and ride em. I am opening my self to critism to so you have to take the good with the bad and land in between. I guess we were kinda mean!!! but again us as humans we tend to deal with new and different people in different ways, I am not religious at all, but I do believe something is outthere and not the X files type of stuff. I am a huge science fan!!! LOVE YA!!!

  • oscar

    And besides i wrote please do not get offended, I probably have more issues here than anyone else. smell ya laters.

  • oscar

    “d” i was the rude one not you, i guess i got caught up in the exitement… I truly believe I havent chatted with such an intelligent group of people before… Hey you guys I am a kickboxer so here is another good site for confidence. You guys will love this one to but pickyourbrain is better. info@martialartslegend.co.uk

  • miko

    hi guys im here again nevermind i dont get angry about this i hate sympathy too so if you see in me sth just let it comes up i know when you criticise sb you’re pretty sure that (s)he made sth wrong. concerning me i dont have that big problem that you all said just i tried to give you my view not depending on books or imagination i said i’ve seen in my life n my experience n what i’ve done with pp in my life up till now also i dnt limit myself in such limitation i always go trough things far from me in order to get full understanding to the facts cos this is what i learnt from a sychologist who thought me to depend on several views before getting into my own this is why it looked like that i read more n not concentrating on real life in the oppostie i always tried to be real rather than unreal maybe this view that i’ve given is my reality but again doesn’t mean that is wrong cos i beleive in a saying NOBODY IS PERFECT n nobody is wrong n nothing has come from nothing it is from our memories n experience
    miss DESDEMONA i wanna say it’s not a mixture of ideas but rather my personal view on things.well self confidence is our own problem not for anybody cos we who lock themselves into these ideas that is when we need things we dont go stright foraward to it we keep on turnin arround n assume that we went for it.yea it’s nice to think simply so as to get a simpple reaction but not all the time is true cos if you keep living simply it won’t give you much n you know we’re from the category that wants to get n to acheive what our sorroudind did or less then. things we really can do unlike if we do it in a simple way i know to be easy in life is nice but we dont know cos sometimes we got enthusiastic eager to do things we want thing we dont want we say ok TAKE IT EASY !!!???

  • oscar

    I am not sure what is going on but who needs writing skills here… I am so lost

  • desdemona

    sympathy!!!euuuuh anyways those who miss sympathy sees it everywhere…no comment i don’t wanna go any further repeating the same thing.one thing is if anybody has something to say why can’t he or she say it straight n share what is rolling in his head instead of being metaphysical about facts.knowing that we learn from each other hereand that’s the point of this forum isn’t it.”MIKO” what kind of comments u r making? r u here for help or to give advice cus we tried to understand but u said in your last comment:”concerning me i dont have that big problem that you all said just i tried to give you my view ….”.is there anything we can do to get on the same ligne.”of course in case ur interested in sharing !!”

  • desdemona

    sir Broman im interested in reading .so what kind of books is “the Game”.plz

    • oscar

      Mona, i knew there were deep issues with “M” miko you lashed out at us the other day!Sorry bud! but regardless of what other people comment or try to defend you, you have SEROIOUS ISSUES MAN! all were trying to do is help one another! Hey MONA how did it go the other day at the party!

      • Broman

        I didn’t know Mona went to a party i thought it was me :)

        It was ok it rained all day yesterday so a lot of people ditched the party and only about 6 girls went that were single. There were 2 girls standing by themselves so i approached and noticed one of them had their arms folded which is something i’ve learnt about from learning about body language so i used that as my opener and then i talked to them for about 10 minutes but it was fairly painful as both of them were on the extreme side of being shy. Later we were all dancing and i tried with them again but got no where and then one of my friends said that they were just rejecting everyone. So yeah that’s pretty much my night just getting shut down and drinking beers. Also i fucked up because i offered one of the girls a beer and i don’t know if you guys believe this but its pretty much like saying i’m a pussy and if i give you this gift will you stay with me. Thats what i beleive anyway.

        I would love some feedback or advice!!

      • desdemona

        sir Oscar what do you rreally want to say that i have issue with “M” . i don’t wanna have any thoughts untill now. . alos i dont appreciate not facing me .believ me oscar i am not trying to defend anybody here i am not anybody’s lawyer. i don’t try to be sympathetic or nice or being a wamon at all.im kin dof trying to understand and test my ability of respecting others.trust me if it was me to whom u responded the way u did i will never get into this site cus i will net feel comfortable as long as u don’t try see me. im disapointed cus i thought this site allow us to face each other but this thing i dunno whether it is fear of facing or . . i just dunno. but still i can say nothing more but thanks.

    • Broman

      Hi Desdemona,

      The Game is about picking up women but its also about your confidence, approaching people and things like that. Its by Neil Strauss and i highly recommend it. I lent my copy to a mate and i haven’t seen it for about 3 weeks so i’m guessing he liked it. Its one of those books that you have to read 2 or 3 times to fully appreciate how much information is in it. He also wrote a book called rules of the game which is a 30 day challenge to increase your confidence, posture, voice and image. I’ve also bought it but i’ve only done about 5 days so far.

  • miko

    hi guys im sorry for what i said just did not mean sth bad to anyone i tried merely to answer what i understood it is was a question risen up explicitly to me that’s all but again im sorry.yeah i need to share too about my confidence dont k,ow but it seems but im always lost into my world which is not that wnderful that anyone can have im trying hard to find my reason but no way out.well MR broman i see your looking arround you to get your desire toward girls but not all the time what you know is the best way to get them cos maybe they’re familiar with them n got fed up try another style acts speech n see if it works

  • Broman

    Hey Miko,

    Yeah i guess your right, i have to stand out from the other guys. I mean everyone starts conversations the same way. I can do a pretty cool trick with a zippo lighter which impresses everyone i see so maybe tonight i might use it to get into a group in the clubs. But make it fun so say hey if i can impress you you owe me a drink, deal??? I’m pretty keen to do it now. Last night i left my zippo at home and i was going to show a few people the trick, i feel naked without it now because its become a part of me just like my rings and bracelet :)

  • desdemona

    “picking up women!!!!!” interesting…let me ask u about this issue u have with “women”,as long as u try always to chase any chick you see at a party you’llnever be satisfied .i wish i am not interferring in ur personal stuff but “have u ever been left down by a woman” ,also have you ever had a specific wamon in ur life? why couldn”t u try to find one lady who can offer you all what u need “love ,carring,time,understanding. . .” u mentioned something like “rings bracelet..” what kind of styles u have.hip hop or punk or rock or hard or metal … or u can be simple. brief, what i try to say is that ,many girls seldom have that stereotype about appearances.look around you ,maybe outthere, there is someone who deosn’t mind to spend an honest ,serious time with you. i believ that trying to make urself famous and try to attract girls by showing them tricks or stuff like that absolutly will succeed .but it won’t last.if u r looking for love or a constant relation with an honest girl.this will be reached only if that girl loves you for who u are not for the tricks u can do.im teling you this because changing girls like T-shirts or trying to spend time with any girl you meet always ends up with a frustrating and hopless look at things.don’t say that ur rejected by women .ofcourse not,because GOD created both men and women so as any one of them can think of words like ‘together .”me & you”.”, to allow each one of us to look for perfection in the other, that nobody can “be” without the other.but it requiereds time n experiences to find the one you think both of you belong to the same world. i hope what i said makes sense.
    and oneother thing broman ” women worth all what u can think of it possible to have them in ur armes even the impossible!!.because once they r in you’ll be treated the king of your era.”
    i believ my english in’t really correct but i guess the meaning can be deciphered.
    cheers

    • Broman

      Hey Desdemona,

      I understand what you are saying about searching for just one girl and being in a long term relationship but I’ve thought about it and its just something that doesn’t really appeal to me at the moment. You asked if i’ve ever been let down by a women and yes i have but i believe its something which happens to everyone who’s ever been in a relationship and its never been anything which has left me bitter or anything like that :)

      I can’t really think of a way to describe my style but i think its sort of says that i want to party and have fun and i also believe that it gives people a sense of my personality without me having to say a word.

      And i also realise that the tricks are just a way of getting into a conversation with someone and then letting your personality come forth.

      • desdemona

        well broman i wish you all the best.

  • oscar

    OK! mona no one is even talking about you! “M” has issues. And now I trully believe so do you, you are a hostile person so keep my name out of your post. I already know your problem, and its attention defecit and paranoia, I could honestly careless about you now.

  • http://www.myspace.com/soundwave86 d

    lol
    its all nonsense really. the mind loves imagination, creating stories.
    stop eating sugar

  • desdemona

    narrow minded. nobody really is carring for each other here we all try to see ourselves in each one’s situation. i believ you are the one with limited self respect.trust me you have problems. for me i am never ashamed of saying the truth. yes i have issues but i am proud i could talk about them im so proud i could make myself feel better .and all the crap u said, trust me will reinforce the idea that some people really lack something of being polite. . about your name.hehe it’s just a name who the hell cares about your name. i don’t log here to see names ,i read these comments to pick what’s good to me an dpost whan can be helpfull to some..true your name has been but will never be . holly cow you know my problem???!!! but plz tell me do you know urs ??? that’s a question u should think of . paranoia HAHAHA? no comment.listen let’s keep this blog clean and neat of small scummy missunderstandings like u try to creat.and carring or not carring its your own problem.if this will make you feel good.trust me i am the most pleased not having any response from you to any of my comments i’ll be so glad.but one thing.everyone should respect his limits.if you don’t mind no more “bla bla bla.for me i really wnt to apologize to this blog and express my deep sorry for things like these. because this blog aims to hold a group of people all together helping ad understanding each other .not focusing on black spots in everyone’s comment. thanks people.it was nice, spending time with you all without exception. one other thing “good morals help to build one’s personnality “.

  • desdemona

    narrow minded. nobody really is carring for each other here we all try to see ourselves in each one’s situation. i believ you are the one with limited self respect.trust me you have problems. for me i am never ashamed of saying the truth. yes i have issues but i am proud i could talk about them im so proud i could make myself feel better .and all the crap u said, trust me will reinforce the idea that some people really lack something of being polite. . about your name.hehe it’s just a name who the hell cares about your name. i don’t log here to see names ,i read these comments to pick what’s good to me an dpost whan can be helpfull to some..true your name has been but will never be . holly cow you know my problem???!!! but plz tell me do you know urs ??? that’s a question u should think of . paranoia HAHAHA? no comment.listen let’s keep this blog clean and neat of small scummy missunderstandings like u try to creat.and carring or not carring its your own problem.if this will make you feel good.trust me i am the most pleased not having any response from you to any of my comments i’ll be so glad.but one thing.everyone should respect his limits.if you don’t mind no more “bla bla bla.for me i really wnt to apologize to this blog and express my deep sorry for things like these. because this blog aims to hold a group of people all together helping ad understanding each other .not focusing on black spots in everyone’s comment. thanks people.it was nice, spending time with you all without exception. one other thing “good morals help to build one’s personnality

  • Rabab

    According to me, self confidence is must in every individual, as it tells not only to you but the infront person who is watching you that how much you are living life fully.
    living life is another thing and loving life is another. if you have confidence on you to make a difference you love yourself, or life will become only a journey.

    the steps given above are really important to build up confidence in all aspects like walt, talk, speech or whatever.

    a small suggestion to all the readers of this article, please apply all possible ways to make you confident.

    enjoy life. allah hafiz

  • Saniya

    I agree with you Rabab.

  • http://www.myspace.com/soundwave86 d

    i suppose you can pretend to be confident. but it doesnt work… not until you come to realise that you already are confident

    as i think a few people mentioned earlier on this board -i dont think you can learn to be confident by applying these things. you have to BE confident in order for these things to happen.

    in other words all these things may be things that describe what a confident person may do but not that what creates them.

  • desdemona

    in my very first posts .i was so desperat and so needy for help.but if you have the will to change to the better ofcourse .you will absolutly do it.i am till working on myself .but i noticed that the offspring of selfconfidence is just like rabab said “it is a must in every indidvidual”. i believ that first thing in building one’s self confidence is to be sure of what he or she is doing.for instance. when u doubt about sth .just don’t do it.and be confident that every choice u make is what u r poetive it is good for your ownself.adopting these tips given above.is pretty helpful.but you have to watch out not to forget who you really are deep inside .learn how to be brave to defend your actions.u don’t really have to justify what u r or what u do.live it simple. accept yourself the way GOD had created you.and always remember that every creature has what makes it special.so be proud of what you have special in you. don’t wait for the external world to deliver it to you . wherever you are keep your head up high.and show the world all the modesty GOD has put in.just be human and be yourself.and if selfconfidence is for some based on what the other sees in you. then working on the appearance and visual stuff would do it.God bless you all.

  • http://www.myspace.com/soundwave86 d

    i do not agree with looking for GOD as the answer;
    however everyone of us is different, and as you say, different people need different stimuli to find the answer.

  • desdemona

    absolutly being diffrent is the answer to the mistery of the harmony GOD had put in his creatures.and i repsect being disagreed.BUT what i this thing that you really don’t appreciate in having god as part of the answer. i just couldn’t see your stance.

  • aleksandar

    Well, what you gave us in the post is 10 great advices how to appear self-confident to others… in other words useless marketing bullshit… walk faster, sit in the front row…sheesh, give me a break…

  • J

    Nobody is going to make fun of you for not speaking perfect English. And anyone who does is immature and not worth your time. Everyone who learns a language has to begin somewhere, and it takes a long time to become fluent and able to speak like a native speaker. Most people will appreciate your effort and overlook your mistakes, some will correct you (don’t feel bad – if they’re being polite about it, they’re trying to help), and some people will even find you endearing. Don’t forget that the more you practice, the better you will become.

  • desdemona

    true

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  • http://www.triond.com/users/KELVIN+TAKOR kelvin

    YOU’RE A GREAT WRITER.WOULD LIKE TO COME INTO CONTACT WITH YOU.I’M FROM CAMEROON,SITUATED WITHIN THE COMFINES OF CENTRAL AFRICA.MY NAME IS KELVIN

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  • http://www.hatchhead.com Will – Hatchhead.com

    it’s funny how with self confidence, if you fake it for long enough by your apperance and doing things that people with high self confidence do, you actually start to feel more confident for real.

    I’m also into self improvement and discuss it on my blog, come check it out if you have a chance.

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  • d

    the more you try different things and realise you have all the time in the world to do what you want… the more you’l be free from apparent lack of confidence

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  • desdemona

    eye contact is truly important i tottaly agree.

  • http://profiles.friendster.com/rockmyworld1 rhevz

    My future father in law gave this website with me because I am having a problem regarding myself confidence…I’m sure I starting to like this page and I will learn a lot from it…got cha!

  • Anna

    I improved my self confidence by the great book Speak as a Spokesman on http://www.SpeakAsASpokesman.com.
    Try it.

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  • http://www.4maximumhealth.com Dan (Self Confidence is My Motto)

    One of the best ways to learn how to be self confident is the military, especially the Marine Corps. If you can get through basic and the rest, you will find yourself full of confidence in yourself.

  • shashank

    I really thanks to all these above comments which really help me to strive on self confidence but my problem is something different as english is second language for me as well this is an international language so i have to use it very precautiously so no one laugh at me and at this age i think i have to speak in good manner what i am using should be goood enough to talk about
    so pls give some comments regarding this subject as this demotivates me and decrease my self confidence

    • Emil

      I have also got problems with my English. The level of it varies so much. I have studied in England for four years. I cannot say that I have learned the language during these years as I have probably been exposed to the language throughout my life, though American English has had bigger influence. The level has, however, improved quite a lot though over here, but I’m still getting these “very bad” English days very often. Then, the other days I feel almost like it would be my first language. I don’t know what causes this (it’s probably something psychological) but it really bugs me and makes me depressed. Has anyone else ever experienced these same kinds of feelings?.. And does anyone know how to build up self confidence regarding second languages?

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  • http://www.drjerm.com Jeremy Johnson

    I enjoyed reading about your tips on self confidence. For me, I haven’t always been confident. In high school I was extremely shy. I slouched and was not proactive. I was this way because I knew of no other way to be. Later on in life, what has helped me is finding my purpose in life and making the decision to be confident and successful. I am amazed that by making a simple decision to pursue success that my confidence is also increasing. By taking steps in life to find your purpose, believe in yourself, build yourself up, and give back to other people, you will then begin finding confidence. Ultimately, make the choice to take life head on and don’t look back.

    • http://www.drjerm.com/Finding-Confidence/Finding-Confidence.php Finding Confidence – Jeremy Johnson

      P.S. Look at examples of confident and successful people. They are proactive and go-getters. “The Rock”, “Bill Gates”, “Michael Jordan” just to name a few.

  • http://www.drjerm.com/Finding-Confidence/Finding-Confidence.php Jeremy Johnson

    Finding Confidence – take the time to research, and then make a decision to be confident. Stand up and say, “I am confident”. Then act confident. Believe in yourself. I believe anyone can be confident if they simply choose to be and take the steps necessary to become so.

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  • sevil

    i think i dont have enough self confidence to make friends and the worse thing is that i think i am not attractive to my friends.i am a youngh girl and i need to be attractive especially to my boy friend i will be grateful if you help me

    • Broman

      Hi Sevil, if you have a boyfriend already then obviously he has found you attractive in some way otherwise he wouldn’t be with you. We all tend to think that people are judging us but when you think about it how much do you judge other people … my bet is you hardly ever do, i know i don’t. So if no one is judging you then you have nothing to worry about. Also having a boyfriend should give you a fair indicator that your an attractive person.

      Hope this helps :)

  • sevil

    i realy enjoyed your 10ways to instantly build self confidence i am trying to be more confident but i need a help because lack of self confident makes me feel that i am not attractive to my friends especially to my male frinds im a young girl and need to be attractive

    • Broman

      You have to remember that this is how to INSTANTLY build self confidence not how to become a confident person. To me personally this article contains some valuable information, such as; dressing well, having good posture and being grateful for who you are as a person.

      Dressing well: It goes without saying that you should have pride in your appearance. Often the clothes your wearing, the way you have your hair, or your smell (wearing colognes and perfumes) has a dramatic impact on the overall way you feel about yourself. I spend a fair bit of time everyday working on my appearance. I wear nice clothes (this does not mean expensive clothes or brand name clothes), i wear a cologne (Reaction Thermal by Keneth Cole), i style my hair with Gel or wax and i make sure that i am clean shaven and my teeth brushed. After this i feel great.

      Good posture: I’d like to change this a little and say have good body language, there are many books on the topic and one i have read is by alan and barbara pearce. It says that something like 70 percent of what we portray is non verbal. Like when you say you felt a vibe that someone was angry with you or attracted to you it was more than likely because of their body language.

      Being Grateful: Perhaps grateful is a bit over the top, you can’t be happy with everything about yourself. I believe this is impossible. But you can accept who you are. This will dramatically change your thinking and self confidence. If your a bit over weight you accept it. You might not like it but you acknowledge that its a problem. When you come to a stage of self acceptance you will feel better about yourself. Maybe not because you have a problem but because you acknowledge it is a problem or maybe it isn’t a problem and by focusing your attention on it you can come to this realisation.

      • sevil

        thanks Broman your reply made me very happy especially your well dressing advice it is a really practical one but i dont have boyfriend

        • Broman

          Yeah thats ok. I’m only 18 at the moment and i’m doing the single thing by choice :)

          Next time you see a guy that you think you want to be with instead of focusing on all his good characteristics focus on the bad ones. It will give you a confidence boost because you then realise that he has faults just like everyone else.

          • sevil

            hi broman to be honest,your suggestions works very well,at least they are so usefull for me thanks

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  • leila

    please give me a practical advice.i have a suiter in university who isnt a logical boy he loves me for 4 years but after 1.5 years i feel that he isnt suitable for me but from that time up to now i cant undrestand him that i dont like to speak with him and when he want to talk with me i cant do anything and when i escape from him he follow me and can find me and can stop me every where.

    • selo

      dear leila escaping will never solve your problem try to talk with him and explain that you can not be happy couples and frankly tell him you dont like him as a husband let him understand your feeling about himself

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  • http://www.inspirationforchange.com Inspiration for Change

    Fantastic and thoughtful post on how to bhild confidence.

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  • skeeter

    Self confidence is great! My confidence was quite low, but i thought it was ok, because i had some. But i got a little confidence and it got a good response and i felt great for a week, now i am slowly building my confidence and being the person i want to be. Music helps alot for some reason, buying clothes help aswell. If these material things help to build your great personality that you and everyone likes, then why not.

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  • Tyler

    I tend to be able to speak out with a small group of friends that i feel comfartable around but when it comes to other groupsof people which i often find myself doing ifeel uncomfartable and barley say a word and people notice that and say stuff to me and i dont really express myself and say somthing back i say yes or no answers. If i used to hangout with another group and then i will go to another and i hangout with the old group i feel weird and dont want to talk. What should i do?

  • http://alifeofinspiration.blogspot.com Robert

    Those who say these tips don’t work are wrong. Self confidence is all about how you feel. These things will help make you feel better about yourself, and when you feel good, good things happen to you.

  • sathya

    thank you all

  • Bongani

    This is great and it inspires me a lot, i have just subscribed to this website and foud this very helpful and uplifting. Neatness, tidyiness and my outer-look has an impact to my self-comfidence. I get often discouraged wheni get negative comments about the colour selection of my clothes. I am an individual that is not fond of bright colours, i don’t know why people are always judgemental. Inner-talk helps me a lot to boost my confidence through any challenge that i am facing whether work or personal related.

  • Monkey

    t’s a hard thing to explain but it has to do the way you were raised and what things u were allowed to do…and also people believing in u.
    if ur parents always gave u bad comments about wat u do and stuff of course u lose self confidance.
    i say fuck what people say and do what u want, if its “wrong” and people said why u did it, say” because i can…..bitch”

  • Dr. Eugene Walton

    Can you improve your child’s self image for $15.90? YES YOU CAN. And here’s how in two easy steps:

    Step 1: Get the two session video “Programming Your Own Self Image” and study it for yourself. (You cannot teach what you do not know. You cannot lead where you do not go!)
    Download this 26 min. video for $9.95.

    Step 2: Get the companion workbook “Parent’s Guide To Teaching Students To Program Their Own Self Images”—a step-by-step all the materials you need (including Teaching Tests and Discussion Topics) to create this “Joint Study Project For Parent and Student.”
    Download this 22 pp. Parent’s Guide for $5.95.

    Get both resources from Eugene Walton’s Storefront at:

    http://stores.lulu.com/dreugenewalton

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  • http://www.bebo.com/BethyyJoann Bethany Payne

    I Really like this Boy called Tom and he recently asked me to meet up with him and i was really down because i didnt want hi to be dissappointed with what he saw – but the speech idea really worked for me and now i cant wait to see him! x

  • http://www.pluginid.com/ Glen Allsopp

    I definitely agree with number 8 but I’m not too sure about number 2. Confident people have a certain pride in their step but not necessarily fast walkers. More a normal, positive stride from what I’ve noticed.

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  • JOnathan

    well i dont know how you tell yourself your not attractive cuse that just can’t be true. You are attractive to God, cuse he made you. And God himself said that you were fearfully and wonderfully made and knowing just that, that theres a God closer than far, thats loves you more than the beautiful earth He created, so much that on account of us He sent here to this earth His own Son, to die on account of us because we are born into sin. And that through Him, His Son, soly on believe in him, we are given eternal Life instead of the jugment and wrath of God and it is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

    But if you were the only person to have ever lived, He still would have went through all the suffering and punishment, for you.

    So with that kind of Love aimed at us, we should never think of ourselves as unatractive.

  • K.Venkatesh

    dear All,

    As 31 years male fellow i have tried number of times to build self confidence by way of self motivation that is my past expiriance etc., but it is in vain. Pls anybody tell me how to improve self confidance because as a managerial cader i have to supervise no of peoples, for this cause iam loosing my value with my subordinates
    k.Venkat

  • http://www.askraymondteh.com/Personal-Self-Confidence Personal Self Confidence | Building Up Self Confidence

    Great articles and clears steps on building self confidence. We have to implement it after reading it!

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  • Maher

    Hello. Well, I’d like to know if there are any strategies for a good way of communicating in society: how to express things in an attractive persuacive way… How to control the voice, the tone, the volume, the vocabulary.. Thanks in advance

  • http://www.confidencedynamics.com Confidence

    I run a dating advice company and this article is actually pretty accurate, unlike many I find on the internet
    http://www.confidencedynamics.com

  • Kevin

    Very nice article. For years, I have struggled with self-confidence. Just today, I have notice myself having the slump shoulders, walking slowly, etc. I have put myself on notice for doing things like that.

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  • http://google SREE

    Good….)- everybody should have self confidence, then the world will turn and see U. This article is very excellent unlike other. The 10 tips are very nice, it shows that v should create more self confidence in us…

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  • http://guideondating.socialmindset.com/how-to-on-confidence/ how to on confidence

    Another great article on building confidence.

  • hani mikati

    it is good for writting home work

  • http://www.2knowmyself.com farouk

    10 out of 10, wonderful article :)

  • http://wondersnet.com Wonder Wyant

    “However, if John Wesley over at Pick The Brain is right and “(s)elf confidence is the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared out of your wits”, I might still have a problem :)

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  • http://www.selfesteem2go.com/self-confidence.html Zoltan the confidence wizard

    Self confidence is having faith in yourself and your ability to handle whatever situations are presented to you. You are blessed with freedom from doubt in yourself.
    If you have faith in yourself, you are able to laugh at yourself. You trust and believe that you’ll be able to deal with whatever life throws you, good or bad. If you know what you want and where you’re trying to go, you have self confidence. If you stay calm under pressure, because you know it’s only a matter of time until you figure out what to do, you have self confidence. Another good indicator of having adequate confidence is a sense of purpose and a willingness to take risks.

    The amount of success you achieve in life has a lot to do with how much self confidence you have. Making the decision to work at improving your self confidence could be the most important decision you ever make.

    Life is a wonderful journey. So, enjoy it my friend

  • http://timelesslessons.com Valeria | TimelessLessons

    Definitely a great start for some one who lacks much self confidence. For number two; at some point in their life they had to walk “fast” to be able to walk slow.

  • http://confidentandfabulous.com Michelle

    Great pointers for anyone in need of help with their confidence.

    I think dressing sharp is a good point – if you know you look good, you feel good!

    • farhan

      Hy i am farhan from pakistan,and my national language is urdu so it is hard for me to speak a right english and i lose my confidence infront of other who is a good english speaker

  • http://minilifehacks.blogspot.com Mini Life Hack

    Trust yourself. Act on that instinct and get to know yourself. Once you are comfortable with you, you can be comfortable with anything.

    Knowing yourself and understanding yourself will give you an internal place of refuge when there is no other place to go.

  • soundwave86

    agree! know thyself
    it may take some doing if you are covered in bad habits and covered up sense of self. but once you get there anything is possible

  • http://www.facedestiny.com Maggi | facedestiny

    Like previous commenters I would agree that some of these tips will work for some people in some situations, but none of them are likely to work for everyone, all the time (that’s life…).

    Thing is, we’re all different and the situations that make us lack confidence are different, so there is no cure-all. But that doesn’t make the tips any less valid.
    I think dressing well CAN boost your self confidence, but I think it’s more about finding styles that suit you and make you feel good, rather than watching the latest trends. When I was working there were certain things I would choose to wear when I knew I was in for a difficult day and wanted to boost my confidence.

    Not everyone who follows fashion looks good! And the fact that famous people dress very badly at times yet still ooze self confidence shows it’s all relative.

    Another tip I picked up years ago was to stand up if you’re making an important or difficult phone call as it makes you feel more confident about it.

    If you have mastered a skill to any degree, whatever it is, it will boost your self confidence because it’s something you know you can do successfully.

    And if you lack confidence in social situations try focussing on the other person and asking them about themself. It takes the pressure off worrying about yourself.

    Examples of extremes from my own experience:

    I’ve stood up in front of a couple of hundred parents – without much notice – and advised them how their children should choose school subjects, without batting an eyelid.

    Then at the start of 2008 I moved to Greece with my partner, and this usually confident person suddenly got nervous about even going to the local supermarket on her own. I was in a new environment that I was struggling to get to grips with, and things that hadn’t been a problem before suddenly were.

  • http://www.xcat.co.uk Rob Taylor

    Great tips. Thanks a bunch. :)

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  • http://uknown Tanya

    Im Tanya and im 19 years old,I live in Nova Scotia Canada.Self Confidence is having eye contact,having a friend saying to show you can.Helping an alcohol,without judgement,Im not alcoholic.Helping people become open minded.Helping people look on the inside instead of looking outside.Its important to love your imperfections.
    Its good to take a hobbie,art,sing,smile and look in the miror and say I love you!!!Good Hygene is important.,Im still working on it.Treat yourself for a bubble bath.Im not always right or wrong.Dont follow me.Just be yourself then you will have the self confidence.But most of all God will make you shine your confidence.

    love always Tanya

  • http://uknown Tanya

    Do not hold grudges,and people should not haunt the past in your face!!!!!

    Tanya

    Im not a true Christian,but I love God..but not as much as i should.

  • http://uknown Tanya

    Drinking alcohol relaxes you,But dont become an alcoholic.If you cut down on it,It will change your self confidence.I just worry about the world.I love money,but there are down sides and good sides.The good sides is you buy alot of things like cell phones,Cds,give to the poor.But money is not the true happiness,Its about being a good person trying to be nice.Its important to have a good job that supports the family.Dont have to listen me just understand that its from my heart.
    love Tanya

    love Tanya

  • http://uknown Tanya

    Down sides of money

    jealousy greed

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  • http://wisecurve.com Relax

    I think substance helps a lot in giving confidence, such as having abundance of knowledge and experience.

    You know what you do, if not, your head will be down. :)

    I would do more and learn more to have my head up toward the sky!

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  • http://www.Tohami.com Dissatisfied at work?

    Sophia Loren once said, “Getting ahead in a difficult profession requires avid faith in yourself. That is why some people with mediocre talent, but with great inner drive, go so much further than people with vastly superior talent.”

    I love your mention of Gratitude. It has a magic beyond imagination. Great post. Thank you.

  • Gunas

    Style, Physical Fitness, Walking, Dressing sense… if all this matters means everyone can easily build their confidence…

  • SQ

    Hi,

    It’s really amazing to read different people’s perspective and point of views .. everyone see the world from a different angle .. from a different point ..

    I like the 4th piont (Personla Commercia) .. Keep reminding yourself of what u have accomplished in the past years .. motivate ur self .. n -take this advice from me- DO NOT WAIT FOR A MOTIVATION FROM OTHERS .. coz u’ll be w8ing for ever !! .. if u want somethin .. get it ur self !

    I do consider my self as confidence .. I wasnt suprised when I read this artical since I’ve been practicing all the 10 points since I was 11 years old ! (thanx to dad)

    I learned that we shouldnt spend time thinking about wt people r thinking abt us ! .. if we want people to accept us .. then we should accept ourselfes first !

    OK .. am sounding like Dr.Phill now .. lol :P

    Anyway .. Thanks for the artical .. n thanks for every1

  • alleah

    I resent that last one … I dont always concentrate on myself in fact i think more about others than i do myself. (you spelled “your” wrong in step 10) Thanks for the tips! :)

  • Crambert Olsonater

    Dressing sharp sure does get me sucked everynight.

    • Pedro

      Hahaha, true that my good sir, well said ;)

  • Darlene

    I have always done better in life when I was at a “confidence high”. However, the key to my successful living relies on being able to maintain that confidence during stressful life situations. We all have problems now and again and maintaining myself through physical exercise, appearance, believing in my abilities, etc. has really helped me get back on track so to speak.

  • Richard

    Well,you see in my situation. I thought I lost self-confidence. When I indeed never had any. I started school in September and I was very loving nad very social. But after some time. A kid got transfered to my class and well he started being nasty to me. You see,I’m openly gay. And It seemed that this kid was homophobic. and on the SECOND week of school. Everything changed for me. i was picked to be in his grouped and he was angry and fustrated that he had to work with me. He through a fit. Which made me feee like nothing. Then the next week he make friends with this other kid in my class. Imagine how they become friends. He became friends with the other kid by talking about me. And after he made this group,which all of them picked on me. Well,behind my back. Not to my face. Each time I turned around they stopped talking and they looked downed.I was frequently absent to school. My fear was to get talked about. Or to see them. I actually cared for what they say.And I still do to some very small extent. But I’m working on it.Through vacation. I did a huge improvement on myself. And I learn how to self-accept myself. And I’n still going to the struggle . But I’m still reaching for my dreams and finding the light at the end of the tunnel.
    Alot of seen my improvement. But I still not on what I want. But I have to keep going and I will see if this steps will help me more.
    P.S. I’m doing alot better in school and I’m not going to fall like I did before.
    Sincerly,
    Richard :))

  • http://www.wiseexec.com/Insights/ArticleDetail.aspx?KeyID=404 Hemlata S

    Very well written. You have described each point very nicely. The most important part is “TRUST YOURSELF”. Say you are the “BEST”.

  • samirfg

    I have always a cronic anxiety.I fell something pinch me in the back if I am among group of peaople in social activities and sometimes certain situations make me panic ,I do not what to do .I sometimes believe the avoidance of people is the best solution,any body can help me,????

  • joe

    I’ve lived on this Earth for 56 years and can tell you that there are only 2 factors that influence how you feel about yourself. One is how you look and the other is the KNOWLEDGE of how other people know you look. There is a famous tip that I recall from some unknown source. It tells you how to feel confident when standing in front of an audience of other people who are listening to you…… imagine them all naked.That might work if you have the body of a Greek god but if you have the body of a geek or you are fat it doesn’t work does it.? If like me you are a thin boned skinny guy then any body looks superior to yours.Does that matter? Hell yes , especially in today’s body conscious society. Oh listen…Ispent years trying to convince my 2 daughters that they need’t spend hours in front of a mirror angsting over their looks because everybody else was so busy doing the same thing that they wouldn’t be noticed. Truth is I was lying. People DO look at you and compare your looks to theirs. People ARE repulsed by people who do not live up the now accepted norm of beauty….they just don’t show it. How do Iknow this .because these same people would, if allowed rush outside and roll around in the newly fallen snow or autumn leaves just like kids…if they knew they could get away with it. We are all just children…we just suppress our instinct to behave like one when we mature..but it,s still there.

  • http://www.networkingnotecards.com John

    I think this article hits it on the head as far as what we can do which is in our control. The only other options are ingesting chemicals and most people dont need to do that.

    I started my website, http://www.networkingnotecards.com, because I wanted to help people with their conversation confidence. Check it out and let me know what you think.

  • Alessi

    These are all good tips. If any of you are interested in more inspirational articles, visit Joan Marie Whelan’s blog. Joan Marie is an amazing life coach who has helped me through a lot of difficult times. i encourage all of you to check out her site!

  • Beverly

    I feel like i need to boost my self confidence. I read this article and I walk fast naturally, I always make it a point to sit up straight to the extent of people complimenting me on it. Although somethings in life get me down, I’m aware of the fact that I am very lucky and greatful for all that is around me. I compliment other people all the time as a few positive words don’t cost me anything but can make someone else’s day and I feel that focusing on contribution not only tie’s in with gratitude and really does help us to appreciate what we have but it helps to bring me up when I am down.
    So why is it that I can’t seem to present myself well at interviews? I went for a job interview the other day and really wanted it. In the end someone else got it. I asked for feedback and the person said that they had nothing negative to say.. that i presented myself well and they found me very nice. I honestly think that it was my lack of enthusiasm. If I wasn’t so shy, I would have been a bit more bubbly and jumped up to show the person how much i wanted this job! But something was holding me back.. something was holding me down in that seat.

    I guess that I’ll read the other things in this article and try make the change.

    Thanks for listening

  • http://www.directorymines.com Hemlata S.

    Hey Beverly,

    Please don’t underestimate yourself. Definitely there is some big opportunity for you and you have to show them that YOU are the BEST. Just face everything confidently.

    Wish you good luck for your future.

    • Beverly

      Thank you Hemlata

      I appreciate your words :)

  • Angela

    There are so many comments, I read many, but not all.
    I just left my new husband because of my dwindling confidence. I liked the article, but I liked what others shared more.
    The part about walking was interesting. I have a lot of pain when I walk and that wears on my confidence because I am not able to do what I love anymore with out pain. I also liked the part about not gossiping and being negative about others. I find that I do this a lot. Not meaning to, but more just for idle conversation. My husband would tell me not to, and I never realized until now how weak that does make a person seem. Although he did not help me to feel better about myself and often made me feel much worse, I enjoy thinking that he had a good point now.
    To those who are afraid to even go out, I wish you all the strength in this world. It is a dark and lonely place to not want to enjoy even a few moments outside your home.
    I think that the trick is to push yourself to. Even if everyone hates you, it is never about them… enjoying a few moments out of the day to smile and see the beauty that is there right in front of our noses is what is more important.
    I’m plagued with boredom, and a sullenness that often keeps me indoors, but I always feel a little bit better when I got out and breath fresh air.
    A serious problem I have is sometimes talking to people I know. I always feel awkward around others. I am a survivor of all sorts of abuse and I think that that is the reason why. Perhaps a trust issue?
    Does anyone have any suggestions to help me build self worth so that I’m not so uncomfortable sharing my time with people I like or already know. I always feel like such a burden. It is funny because I’m attractive and smart and funny, I even love to dress well and usually carry myself as though I’m very confident. Inside I just clam up if I have to get close to anyone.
    Thanks and Bless you all.
    A

  • http://findmedatestoday.com Suzanne

    Confidence really helps with many different aspects of your life. It’s honestly one of the things in life that you must have.

    Great article!

    • yara

      i care too much abt wut ppl think abt me!!help

  • http://www.twth.org.uk Mukesh

    Well i don’t think that Sharp Dress is a good idea to get self confident, Because If a person who is handling his office work from home no need to get Sharp dress…

    • http://improveurlooks.com Suzanne Lamoutte

      I would disagree with that Mukesh. When you dress up you feel good about yourself whether you are home working or out at an office. When you feel better about yourself you perform better as well.

  • http://www.succinctsuccess.com Jett Brenner

    Great article.

    Dressing up is so important! When you look good, you feel good. When you look great, you feel great! When you feel great you perform better in all areas of you life.

    It is imporant to dress well all the time so that you feel comfortable. It is easy to spot someone wearing a suit who is not used to it. Dress up often and you will be more comfortable. When you are comfortable you will be more confident. We all know how important it is to be confident!

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  • Ayaz Khan

    Great Ways to increase your self confidence…I simply appreciate.

  • Chamara

    This is just great..I love it.Thank you!!

  • Kerry

    I have a problem that everytime i woke up for college i was feeling sick, and beeing sick everyday because of my nervs and because i wasnt that confident so now i have droped out of college, but now need a job and im scared that the same thing is going to happen before i go to work? any advice please!

  • Tony

    Im not disagreeing with the 10 things, I think they could deffinatly help someone on the road to self confidence, just stating some personal thoughts.

    Ive been in a highly looked up to position,I have a thin tone muscular build from exercise,I walk fast,Have good posture,Have had many “female relations” and, I like the way I dress.

    At times Id feel on top of the world. Even mabe a little over confident.
    Some of these things have come and gone and come back but through it all I realized it wasnt confidence I was feeling……. it was EGO.
    Strip all or a few of these things away and you feel even worse.
    Ive came away with a new way of thinking. Im not going to be truly happy until I feel comfortable in my own skin,With or without clothes,alone or surrounded, accepted or completely un-understood and,at peace with my inner-self. To the point where the thought of having confidence or not never even crosses my mind.
    I enjoyed reading everyones opinions and on the road to inner peace I will practice steps #6 and #10.
    Thank you!

  • Ufaq

    thanks a lot … im gonna practice all the 10 of the above given points and would surely succeed in my life Thanks again

  • Natalia

    I always give second thoughts to EVERYTHING! i’m always so scared to try new things and to challenge myself. I feel self confident at first but then i just lose it!

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  • fikirte

    so how can i get the exact tought about this topic “self confidence” which is the best for me please contact me and i wanna to reach @ the exact tought for my life.

  • ashish

    My problem is that i wanna do more things in life life n i can do also bt i dont wanna show to my family that i am smart worker in my field.i try to hide from my family that i am a very fast in my work.pls help me

  • ashish

    jus try to find out that u wanna proof anything to ur family or

  • http://hi makala96

    hi its makala i like this webside

  • John

    Hi, i read the page on how to be confident its just that i never feel confident even when things are good, could somebody please help me?

    • strodiggs

      Have you checked out the website:

      http://www.thinkandgrowballs.com

      At the site you will find an excellent discussion on how to build self-confidence… or as J.D. Bloodstone puts it, “How To Shrink Your Fear & Enlarge Your Courage”. Check it out. This book will become a handbook for daily goal-striving.

  • http://sterndal.blogxi.com/ sterndal

    hi!

    nice tips :) from now on I’ll try to walk faster

    thanks!

  • miha

    Hello
    I always make an opinion about a person at first meet, an opinion that remains forever. that’s why I’m afraid always when I meet a person.I don’t want to desapoint so I prefer to not speak very much, and when I speak I say things usual, nothing important. Then I feel bad and my self respect is decreased. what u recomand me to do to disappear my fear?
    thanks

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  • kieran

    i loved this it helped me within seconds, thanks:D

  • jan

    Walk Faster is BS!!
    confident people walk slow, because they own their time!

  • http://www.selfesteem2go.com/self-confidence.html Zoltan – Self-esteem wizard

    Great ideas. Lift up your chin, pull back your shoulder, stomach in and you already feel better.

    Exercise can help to build your confidence. There are certain hormones in the body that can be released by exercise and give you temporary “happiness”.

    I would add smile to the list. When you smile at somebody it’s hard not to get the same response back to your kindness and friendliness.

  • Ella

    Heyah :D
    Can anyone help me? I’m only 12, but I’m ver self-concious, The thing is, I over react. Like, for example, Boys, If i had to kiss one, i think “Wait, what if i do it worng, or if hee says something” .

    I think about whats going to happen and exagarate the situation. Please help me, I’m always scared of what other people think, and mainly because of my looks. Thanks for your help :) x

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  • http://www.asktallgirl.com/ casper

    I like your rule about being grateful. It would definitely help if we focus on positive things instead of judging ourselves and others in a situation.

  • http://www.confidencesimplified.com soorya

    I liked and agree with Chris’s comments.
    Long term confidence is something more valuable.

  • asidis

    As a surfer i have many degress of selfconfidence they are the feeling of drowning , you may think it accours
    with big waves ,but that is not the case .I have been in situations of drowning at a safe beach break and other times getting dumped on waves that are large.

    I’m sorry if my not story is not releavent.
    The only thing thats gets me through the fear of
    drowning is not to pannic . I know it sounds weird .
    but in every situtation in life when i feel i need control . I push my fear a little harder.Please , fear is also good . Take each step at a time .
    I wish you all the best

  • Andrew

    Well I do really have a big problem on self confidence, the fact that my girlfriend is talking with a new guy and she just says that he’s just a friend just make get jealous and feel me bad becuase I really think he’s looking in another guy who is giving more or i really dont know, I accept I’m a nice looking guy but i Really dont have self confidence.
    I hope somebody could help me

    • Rakoto

      Andrew, you have to increase your self-esteem, never think negatively about yourself,think that you are good enough for your girlfriend, and be sure that you are the one who can love her a lot, think about all your positive points, that would help you a lot.

      Avoid thinking negatively about yourself and not having self confidence, that will be frustrating yourself

      Hope this will help a little
      Han

  • andy

    im afraid to try new stuff say if im doing a sport i hate messing up and if i wanna try something i get to scared and hesitant i either dont doit or i just dont give it my all and get hurt or mess up again.

  • teeheng

    here has another 10 tips for confidence. let check it out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yO27wPFZZG0

  • http://www.LikeSoup.com Jim Campbell

    This is really, really good advice; things we should all be paying attention to for ourselves and sharing especially with children.

    Thank you very much for the reminder.

  • kishie

    good stuff…

  • Kanak

    I read all the stuff in this entire site. It was really helpful. Keep up the good work.

  • http://www.adityaseo.com Aditya

    Very good tips to groom a person. I will try to apply them in my life periods. Thanks

  • http://www.selfmademiracle.com/ rama

    I perfectly agree with you that perception is reality—how you see yourself will most definitely be how others will see you and how people see you equates to how much they will respect you. Thank you for your tips on how to ! It’s amazing how we can actually build self-confidence by modifying our behavior. True, these strategies entail discipline, but hey, improving self confidence is surely our ticket to success—and I guess anyone would agree that a few lifestyle checks would definitely be worth it, especially if it’s your whole life on the line.

  • http://www.selfmademiracle.com/ rama

    I perfectly agree with you that perception is reality—how you see yourself will most definitely be how others will see you and how people see you equates to how much they will respect you. Thank you for your tips on how to improve self-confidence! It’s amazing how we can actually build self-confidence by modifying our behavior. True, these strategies entail discipline, but hey, improving self confidence is surely our ticket to success—and I guess anyone would agree that a few lifestyle checks would definitely be worth it, especially if it’s your whole life on the line.

    http://www.selfmademiracle.com/motivationmodel/how-can-a-person-improve-self-confidence/

  • sarah

    am not confident enough, most of the time am talking I fear the confusion of R and L, this makes me feel bad I tend to talk less, making me uncomfortable

  • http://www.seriouslypositive.co.uk Mary Dempsey, Confidence Consultant

    I was once a timid, anxious , scared yong woman, who would always sit in a corner and not say a word.
    At the age of 30 that changed, I decided to walk through the TERROR BARRIER and I got CONFIDENCE on the other side.
    I now equip, encourage and empower individuals to get the same personal power.

    Be ENCOURAGED!

    To your SUCCESS!

  • http://aol.com Karissa

    thanks for this !
    it really helps out a lot.

  • http://www.seriouslypositive.co.uk Mary Dempsey, Confidence Consultant

    I believe very STRONGLY that PURE CONFIDENCE COMES from taking ACTION. Courses are great, however I teach clients how to step into their personal POWER and stay there.

    You can too, if you want me to work with you, I can , I have been there , so I can resonate with how you FEEL.
    I have ovecome and am soaring with CONFIDENCE and SELF BELIEF!

    To your SUCCESS!

  • Pmalik

    i am a student and i just moved to usa and for the time i have been here i am realising that i am very bad at english well actually i can speak english in my mind but when it comes to speaking to other person i am all gone, i cannot find what to say and whenever i try to speak i always and ya always i speak up wrong and stupid, i know it is because of lack of self-confidence but what should i do i have tried for like hundred times to get over my this fear or phobia whatever and i can feel that i cannot survive here… or anywhere without this language…. unless i learn to open up and get over my fear. please help me out..

  • http://www.seriouslypositive.co.uk Mary Dempsey, Confidence Consultant

    You must FEEL THE FEAR and DO IT ANYWAY, Susan Jeffers.
    Take COURAGE and step out.
    Your CONFIDENCE will then be birthed into your personal power.

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  • scott

    ok,so i kind have a fear of talking to new people and like opening up to people, especaily like when i meet a new girl or a girl i like then just blush or get nervous an don’t know what to say plz help thanks

  • S.

    hi,
    well i didnt read all of posts, but its interesting though. I wonder what does it depend on. I mean a real super stable selfconfidence. cuz i felt very confident sometimes, but it goes away. dont know how to make it stable. and ps for all who think they are not good looking so they dont have high self confidence> first, good looking is not prerequisite for good self confidence but just the opposite!!! trust me, when i look back at “pretty” ppl in my life i can see that they were all just really self confident but most of them not really pretty, and this guy i know, he is a cripple and very much not so pretty, but he is probably one of the most selfconfident ppl i know and i tell you, he probably had more chicks than some stunning looking guys. just because he really belives in himself…..still i wonder, what is it based on??

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  • http://www.howthemindworksdaily.com jonathan figaro

    This an excellent post. Building confidence actually comes from doing. Like they say “act like a man of thought”. So if you have a fear of rejection and feel inferior to anyone or any task that you have in your way.

    Just act! By just acting you dissolve the fear with in your conscious mind and start to grow into a confident individual.

  • http://www.seriouslypositive.co.uk Mary Dempsey, Confidence Consultant

    Confidence is a HUGE area, however it usually comes down to two BELIEFS…
    Can I do it?
    Am good ENOUGH?
    f you keep walking through your fear, keepm taking action.
    Or hire someone to walk you through your barriers, then let them come down and you walk in your own POWER.

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  • Ani

    Whenever i face crucial time then i lost,mainly in games
    such as i played well and reached to the finals and then in finals i played like a novice,
    dont know what happened to me in final situation

  • Onge

    First of all, I dont agree that confidence is always attractive, some people a frightened by confident people and hate them for their confidence.
    But in saying that confidence is a good thing to have, it gets you the things you want in life.
    For all those people who have placed posts, slagging off the people discussing how to gain confidence, there are plenty off people like you out there.
    The people who pay out people who try to improve them selfs are the types of people who hold others back so they can feel better about them selves.
    First rule of being confident, ignore these people.
    Second rule, learn not to worry about things, worring is “A WAY OFF THINKING” that is a learnt behaviour, have faith that things will work out even if it does not seem to be the case.
    Third Rule, when talking to your self in your mind, dont say “I wish I was popular” (example), say “I Am Popular”, If this feels uncomfortable, like you are lying to yourself, That is where you are doing good in your mind, keep doing it, your subconsious mind is objecting, eventually the sub counsious will follow what the consious mind is saying. If you say I wish all the time thats all you will ever do.
    Fourth rule, dont care what people think about you, go out there with clothes with holes in them and be proud that you are going against the flow, wanting everyone to like you will never happen, there fore you will never be happy if you are hoping this will happen. Be happy with the people who do like you for you and if no one likes you, work out why ?(eg.maybe you compain to much)
    Fith rule, learn as much as you can, where ever you can, knowlege is power.
    Sixth rule, if someone pays you out, dont respond directly or in your mind. They are nothing, calling them this and that, is an acknolegment that their comment had power over you, that makes you feel weak inside.
    Usually these people are loosers and they will eventually hang them selfves and when you see it happen you will say nothing to prevent it from happening, then have a good laugh when it does.
    Seventh rule, dont get upset if you make a mistake, evryone does it, learn from it, hide it if you can, from others, no one needs to know (dont draw attention to your mistakes)
    eight rule, dont do things that are morally objectionable, that way you cant feel guilty for them later.
    ninth rule, love yourself, strength comes from within,
    Tenth rule,try to be the best, but never expect to be the best, there is always someone who can lift more or has a bigger doodle.
    Thats a summery of what I think it takes to build confidence, I am sure that there wil be people who post responses paying me out, I say bring it on, I laugh at you, Hahahah I laugh because I am not you, hahahah and to those who are trying to improve yourself I say, I hope all your dreams come true, you are awesome, because alot of people dont even bother to try or worse still put others down to feel good.

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  • Anze

    Last week in was in Romania for holidays. Then i was self-confident. But now when i am back in my home country i think that everyone is locking at me. So i cant walk normaly.

  • Krishna

    You did good job for me

    you boost my confidence and mental energy to do well in my day

    Thank you very much

    keep doing and keep encouraging people like us

    have a great day

  • nm

    its really a good pack of things…………..

    power of thinking big id s good book which tells the same thing by david schwartz. interested people can read that one………..i myself is a sufferer of low confidence ,,,at times i am loiw of confidence and not feel like to so anything ,,,even to meet my dead lines i dont feel energetic…….

    of cpurse the tips given helps atleast 80 % … i agree totally with the author……

  • Taha

    Your article Motivates me alot .

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  • FAZIL

    Hi guys, i have a small tip that i can share with others in
    order to improve self confidence.Every single man on this world should have a moment that he should be proud and happy about himself.So if you are loosing any confidence when getting close to do an important or unavoidable things.In these times you should remember the instances that i have mentioned above.I also want to say that one donot want to be more concious about what others things about you.Such foolish thoughts will only harm your self confidence and courageness.In this time I also want to
    remember you about one proverb saying “What others will thinks about you reveals that you are a slave of that man”.So guys always be your self and you should have your own style of expressing things.So always keep your Identity wherever you are in this whole world.

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  • http://turbed.com/ jerry

    as always awesome

  • http://read-y.com Boris

    Great post, and I would choose Work out as my favorite..
    Once you get fit…

    All the best

  • Boss

    this is tut how to look like a sc person, and not becoming one.This 10 steps are just one step i the real scale.And they are not necessary.

  • Cristina

    The post is very good. I noticed that each time I put reddish nail polish I feel more confident. So, now before an important meeting I invest time in my nails and looks. I sometimes feel like a different person in these moments. Sometimes, I would buy something new just for an important event.

    Also, the fact that I exercise often makes me happy about myself and about my self-discipline and helps me to avoid some time-consuming activities.

    It is true that these are temporary boosters and I still have a long way to go, but I make progresses in this field and I am happy about this.

    Thank you for the post!

  • http://www.nethaggler.com NetHaggler

    This post is very useful. I am already subscribed for this. I love to read the new users feedback comments.

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  • daniella

    hey u shouldnt think like that, firt of all because if you think about it,YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND, and if he is going out with you he must have his reasons, i dont know what they are, but they have to be good reasons, people dont go out with somebody if they dont like them. and if they do it’s probably kuz they dont know what they r doing. so i just think u just need to think of what u have and how great u are.

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  • garry

    iam a MBA student, where i need to prepare a lot of presentations though english is my 2nd language but that doesn’t bother me but i don’t have confidence to go up on the stage and start talking about the presentation. Its something very hard for me and iam losing so many things in life.

    Can some one please suggest what should i do to come over this problem of mine

    cheers

  • JamieKirk

    I have this problem where I always take things that people say about me to heart. Can someone help me and tell me how to start believing in myself?

    • http://yahoo lorac

      you need to know first who you are and love yourself and just be yourself . dont mind what other people saying as long you know that you dont hurt other peopl..

      • http://www.happymakernow.com/blog/ Debbie

        when it comes to believing in yourself you have to learn not to take everyones opinion personal. Remember it is jut an opinion and God doesn’t make junk.
        Debbie

  • http://yahoo lorac

    hi, i understood whats written here bout self confidence and i thank you for that, the thing is i really cant speak fluent in english and understand all of it.

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  • http://vlogsport.blogspot.com Olivier

    This article is not about self confiance, its about how people look at you. There’s a huge different: you can look good walk fast and work out, does not mean you think you’r a good person…

  • Fareen

    good idea
    i like those steps to become self confident
    i am going to use this for my speech
    thank u :D
    bye bye

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  • John

    What an incredible article…for HOW SHORT it was!

    And great comments too!

    I believe every suggestion will work (in the right context)

    I went to this guys seminar and it was incredible…he really helped me overcome my fear of people

    Hope you find his site useful: http://www.breakthruguy.com

  • Jack

    I agree with John

    Great article for how short it was.

    I checked out the site you recommended…

    looks interesting!

    Does this guy do any work on the East Coast?

  • Amanda

    Thanks for some great advice. When I’m feeling down, I read tips available on the internet such as this and it helps me a little. At times I wish there are support groups out there that I can just talk to and not have to be afraid they will judge me…I guess there are but I don’t really know because I don’t do much on the internet. I have to say my confidence is low and someday I feel very sad and lost, not knowing what to do. I sometimes wish there is a support group I could freely to about anything without being afraid they would judge me. That would surely help improve my English skills and thus help boost my self-confidence.

  • http://hasankamran3940@yahoo.com hasan kamran

    when ever i want to study i just lose my self confidence please help i am very depressed

  • http://www.gainselfconfidence.org/sub Michael

    Great tips. Another tip I found very useful is to face your fears on a constant basis. The opposite of self-confidence is fear, and by destroying your fear and facing it, you will build self-confidence much quicker and will establish a powerful self-esteem.

    It is also crucial to alter ones mindset in order to grow confidence. Think of the all wrong habits that take place in your life, and change each one, bit by bit.

  • http://www.gainselfconfidence.org/sub Get An IRON-SOLID Self-Confidence in 21 Days

    Great tips. Another tip I found very useful is to face your fears on a constant basis. The opposite of self-confidence is fear, and by destroying your fear and facing it, you will build self-confidence much quicker and will establish a powerful self-esteem.

    It is also crucial to alter ones mindset in order to grow confidence. Think of the all wrong habits that take place in your life, and change each one, bit by bit.

  • mon

    I agree with all these uplifting messages.I want 2 ask,wat can a person do when the little confidence they have is threatened by a strong sense of anxiety,and the support around them is zero,and the pple they confided in don’t know wat 2 do for them and others keep judging them.

  • Mike

    Hi everyone. I am troubled and confused at this point in my life. Im not sure what my problem is exactly, but i am always worried about what other people think of me. I cant seem to make any new friends in school. And whats worse is that one of my closest friends is sooo popular and can become friends with anyone he wants to. Lately i just dont want to socialize with anyone. When i actually try to i get nervous and my voice gets quiet and mumbly. I also always worry about how i look. Please help.

  • http://www.inselfhelp.com mitchel hohnson

    good suggestion.

  • snickers

    hi everyone..i’m having a speech class this semester.when it’s time for me to talk in front, there’s a tendency for me to be shaky, my face becomes so red and my hands are so cold..I’m really nervous when I speak in front of people..I hope this article could help me with my problem..

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  • http://adzrollz.blogspot.com adzrollz

    it’s really nice…we as a human not a perfect person
    but we can always be a better person…

  • http://avg-money.ru gerysy

    Thank you for the post!

  • http://youngstephens.vox.com/library/post/acnes-scar-treatment.html BiafPejelia

    Will, can you PM me and apprise me infrequent more thinks far this, I am absolutely adherent of your blog…

  • mohammad hassan

    self-confidence are the best way to success in our life, and without it we can’t do anything.. we must become our self to solve all the problem that face us in this life.and the most thing should know him; ho can be give us the self-confidence are the god we must think in him and to take the power from him….

  • http://www.self-improvement-advice.org/gaining-self-confidence.html Gaining Self Confidence

    Good practical advice. It’s only by doing what we fear that we can gain confidence in doing that. There is no easy out. Good posture, sitting in the front row and speaking up – all of these tips point to doing what we fear. Thanks for the article.

  • Solver

    As said by many, great post indeed. Another sure way to success is a proper goal setting and actions towards that goal. Goal setting coaching can ne found at http://casesolving.com

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  • http://www.sereneintuition.com Clairvoyance

    I agree that you have to face your fear and that’s how you move forward. Use your intuition in order to achieve your goals and find answers to your questions

  • Georg

    Stop looking towards others and comparing your achivements to theirs, there will always be someone better than you in EVERYTHING. Compare yourself to yourself and you will find that you are just as good as you are and nothing ever changes that. If someone laugh at you becaouse they could do better at whatever it is you are doing in that instance, they are simply ignorant. Forgive them.

    Search the truth and the truth will sett you free.

  • Mike Sam

    I do not agree with you regard “walking fast”. It reflects unsteady, nervous and anxiety attitude.

  • http://www.online-texas-poker.org/ FrozenSun

    Rather interesting site you’ve got here. Thanx for it. I like such topics and anything that is connected to them. I would like to read more on that blog soon.

    Truly yours

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    Sincerely, your post goes to the heart of the issue. Your pellucidity leaves me wanting to know more. Allow me to instantly grab your feed to keep up to date with your web site. Sounding Out thanks is simply my little way of saying bravo for a great resource. Take On my warmest wishes for your next article.

  • http://www.sr-22.info/ SR22 Insurance

    This is a great list, it reminds us to be conscious of our self confidence as others are paying attention.

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  • Tucker

    I lack self confidence in one part of my life, girls.
    When ever im around a girl a like, its like a loose the abillity not only to speak, but to be myself in genreal. im affraid that if i act myself they will think im wierd (well i am, but only slightly lol) and im affraid to talk about anything with them, or get a convosation started, coz they might take me as being boring or strange. I have a great fiend who’s always trying to help and big me up, highlighting the posative stuff about my personaillty, but he cant always be there for me.
    I just want to be able to walk in a room full of people and not saclude (think i spelt that wrong)into my shell, and for those horroscope fans out there, yes im a Cancerium

    • Marthees

      Hello Tucker, Girls are always liking the person who is having positive looking and positive speak. Don’t afraid to talk to friends. Just think the girls are your friends and try to make some group meetings. And call the girls by using her first names. Personality not only depends upon your walking style and dressing style it depends on your confident posture and speak. Be confident while you speak with girls. Just try this one. You can get the confident.

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  • http://www.energysmartindustry.com Led Retrofit

    Self confidence is the most imperative thing any individual requires either at the start of his professional career or through his pursuit

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  • http://getconfidence.org Johan

    Nice one,

    Confidence is built from within and we will feel like we walk and talk. The shell can help us feel the way we want to prepare for a certain task in that role.

    Thanks

  • http://www.yesucan4women.com Susan

    I think we should definitely support each other, support groups and making connections online are a great way to start.

  • http://landseo.ru root

    Thank you this nice post

  • http://poweressence.com self empowerment

    1. Take a shower and be hygienic
    2. Put on some nice clothes and look good…human bodies require decoration
    3. Realize that EVERYONE desires relationships and interaction, not just you
    4. Realize that if you mess up, it’s just ONE event in your ~70 year life
    5. Realize that confidence is the opposite of focusing on yourself
    6. Remember what you’re good at
    7. Remember not to act like what you aren’t
    8. Accept that you’ll never have to be perfect
    9. Accept that you should never wait for life’s “perfect timing”
    10. Force yourself out socially and enjoy the ride

  • http://instantconfidencenow.com Instant Confidence

    Nice one

    I would like to add controlled breathing to posture. The way we breath affects how we feel. A deep, slow controlled breathing puts us in the state of control.

    Thank’s for a great post

  • Michelle

    Just feel good about yourself and the things you do. That can totally gain you self esteem.

  • Taylor

    you are great you are the best keep these thoughts in your head cause you are these features and no one can change that you are an intersting person you need no one to tell you who you are or what are you made of you know just well what you are you are here for something we are all here for something you just need to learn how to appreciate your self more make your self ar a friend if you treated your self good then you will have a heck of a friend treat your self badly then you will never have a friend and take my advice on this never be with a friend who makes you feel bad about your self just throw him/her away and believe me there are others who are daying to be with you even if that doesnt seem that way to you but it do on reality so be good behave good respect your self then respect the other and then things are going to pay off

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  • http://www.tvtopten.com/ Loving diets that work!

    I have found that yoga is a great way to increase confidence, because not only do you look good, your posture is better and you have a healthy glow about you. That leads to so much more confidence in yourself!

  • tim

    I have started a new job as a sales rep.I need to canvas for new bussiness do cold calls and go and promote my business.I always feel like a door to door salesman.
    I feel insecure and small talking to people.I have this fear that Im just wasting there time.What the hell is wrong with me.

  • http://www.mindwolvesleader.com/ Yuval

    Because Self confidence is always shown in behavior,
    then “playing it right” on the out-side is always useful.
    But it is only dealing with the toppings of the cake.

    What makes a great cake is the recipe.
    Therefore In the self confidence delicacy
    especially when someone is in a real need
    It should include redisigning values, believes, attitudes, feelings, memories and choosing the right way of thinking.

    The good news is that anyone can become the chef of his confidence…
    whith the right guidence.

    • tim

      how do you start to re-evaluate,or where do you start,time is crucial,You cant just wake up and be someone els.can you?

  • http://www.pickthebrain.com SEHRISH

    i m very worried because i cant tell others even the right thing. i cant give interviews and some times even start weeping infront of interviewer it seems that words stuck in my throat. PLease help me i m very worried.

  • Daniel

    EVERYONE LISTEN TO THIS AND YOU WILL INSTANTLY FEEL BETTER. THIS WORKED FOR ME!

    Ok, so posture is very important. All you need to do is flex your abdominal (ab) muscles and your glute (butt) muscles and you will walk straighter and better. This will give you confidence! Believe me. I tried this and I could speak what was on my mind, made me feel better and livelier, and also helped me with my OCD to take the focus away from my bad thoughts.

    I usually don’t do this at night though because I’ve noticed people usually don’t care about image at night.. haha (not 100% sure about that thought) also it gives me a break from flexing. It’s not that big of a hassle though. Makes you feel great! Also the confidence you had during the day will carry over into the night so you really don’t have to focus on your posture at night. Plus people are more tired at night so they don’t really care. Trust me, this works!!!

  • http://www.successlodge.com Claude Camilleri

    What a great Blog, really enjoyed reading 10 ways to instantly build self confidence.

    I have just written my own book, called 14 Powerful Suggestions to Buld Your Self Esteem, I am very happy to share it with the community.

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    Master NLP Practitioner & Success Coach
    founder of Successlodge

  • maddi

    hey guys

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  • Darren Gricks

    I am so want to get my self confidence back
    cause every time I try where I dont see people again I in to not feel conftable enough like everyone else
    to say it really confidently being myelf cause I plan to make it happen
    and it is really frustrating could anyone me out here

  • Darren Gricks

    I am so want to get my self confidence back
    cause every time I try where I dont see people again I in to not feel conftable enough like everyone else
    to say it really confidently being myelf cause I plan to make it happen
    and it is really frustrating could anyone help me out here

  • http://www.texasdefensivecourse.com Texas Defensive Driving

    The post does really boosts up your energy levels and also makes you think of your self at least once. I think these ten tips for instantly building your self confidence is really an informative post.

    I really thank for mom who has really boosted up my self confidence, right from childhood. she was the one who always made me think that i can do anything, if i have self confidence with in myself.

    I am also now passing the same message to people who meet me and teach them how important is self confidence.

  • http://www.hottest-rated.com/datingtips5.php Ravisher

    Hey,

    I don’t agree with on this “many of the factors affecting self confidence are beyond your control”. You CAN control the factors affecting self confidence. NOTHING is impossible.

    Just click on my name to read the article on my website and tell me if I’m wrong. I believe. Belief is very powerful.

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    Most of this article is right on. Thanks for taking the time to write it and post it.

  • http://www.sr22form.net Sr22

    Dress sharp! Walk fast! Sit up straight! Great advice!

  • rsn1936

    I have zero self confidence, and this is ruining my relationship. I’m too jealous when it comes to my boyfriend being friends with other girls. I feel like the reason he talks to them is because I’m not giving him all he needs..it’s ridiculous to think he’s only gonna need me as a friend and no one else. I don’t know what to do )= I always feel like the other girls he talks to are prettier than me and stuff like that.

  • http://www.RoseannaLeaton.com Roseanna Leaton

    Everything in life is affected by your levels of confidence and this article lists 10 things which everyone can do to feel so very much better in themselves. I wonder how many of the people who have posted comments have actually put all 10 into practice? All too frequently, we know what we should or could do, but somehow do not get around to doing these things.

  • http://www.richardlindo.com Richard Lindo, on confidence building

    Hi, I came across your blog from Google.

    This post is 100% correct and realistic. I agree with these strategies to help build confidence.

    These can definitely help.

    Have a nice day.

    Richard Lindo

  • kim

    i disagree about walking fast, if you walk fast just to create the impression of being confident even if you are not in a hurry then you can’t fool anyone. That will not look real confidence instead ACTING but not feeling confident, you will look someone who thinks he is important than everyone else. True confidence is deep inside the way you feel, you can walk slows as a turtle, but as long you have confidence people can percieve it rather trying hard like walking fast just to appear confident. You dont act confidence you should FEEL it. If you feel confident even if you are the poorest guy in the world, you will still have a positive response from people and you don’t even have to prove or show this is just flows naturally because real confidence is natural and not force.

    anyway here is my site to develope self confidence. read it. thanks.

    http://realconfidence.blogspot.com/

  • http://www.myrelationshipguy.com/lifecoach Guy Farmer

    Great insights. The wonderful thing about self confidence is that we can start building it at any time. I’ve noticed that it’s often about just doing small things that, over time, build up our self esteem and create a new, more effective way of living life.

  • http://www.galitscampcoaching.blogspot.com Galit

    I love this information, especially the one about gratitude. Gratitude is such a powerful tool that if someone knows how to use can change a lot about the way we see things.

  • natalieeee

    Thanks for this blog. I do have really low confidence in myself. As Low self esteem as well. I agree with everybody that said walking faster is a sign of low confidence. I always walk fast when I pass a certain crowd. So that they won’t look. I always feel like people are looking at me and judging me and I hate it. I hate caring so much and always trying to win approval from people who probably don’t care. I will admit that my confidence has gotten better. Especially since I surround myself with amazing friends. I think that if you make a goal and you reach it, it’s realllyyyy a big boost. I still have a lot of work to do since I do have real bad self esteem. Anyway..thanks for the blog :D <3

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    All these 10 ways are efficient to me. It is better to be n forced to be self-confident than do it myself. No matter what kind of situation it is, I’ll prepare the 10 things before.

  • SWATHA

    hello friends i think that will be good i improve my self confidence today now a days i am not worring about these and all

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  • http://10WaystoInstantlyBuildSelfConfidence rohan

    hey hi i am suffering from low self doubt and low self confidence, cause of my appearence i have a great body, good face, i look more than average, i wear good clothes, but usually i become self conscious and get anxious about my looks and what others might be thinking about me..plz help me out.

  • Pravin

    It was great to read the valuable wordings to gain lost self confidence. I thank to him who has worte this and also thanks to internet who has made this to reach us.

    Best Wishes & Regards,

    Pravin

  • http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-ways-to-instantly-build-self-confidence/ annoymus

    hey i really dont know how to build my self confidence straight away i have gone through loads of stages where i dont know what to do with my life i want to beleieve in myself again and feel like i can do anything! help me please!

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  • seastar.dolphins

    really you are doing a good job.
    i am a budding trainer
    ur articles helps me a lot
    it is very simple and easy to understand and present
    thank u

  • Waheed

    Thank you for posting such a help full article. I am 27 years old and working in a company. I am slim and not physically healthy like other people of my age around me. People mostly make fun of my physical appearance that why i never feel confidence in social gatherings. who i can overcome this complex?

    Please advise thanks.

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  • Sonu

    I’m suffering from “MANBOOBS”
    When I was in school my friends laughed on me I was a very bright and intelligent student and I was a district topper. they destroyed my self confidence and ruined my life. Now I fear of everybody and don’t go to parties and social events also I left my studies and Now I want to make my life normal. What should I do ? I’m going to do B.B.A. and I’ve no confidence to go to college please help

  • tej

    nice article!

  • Manal

    Well my problem is that most of the time it happens to me that whenever the teacher asks a question or ask about anything even though i know the answer i do not feel confident enough to stand up and tell her because i am afraid of being the reason for laughing.So pls helpppp!!!

  • Roland

    I disagree with the idea that walking fast makes you seem important. I think that walking fast is a sign of being anti-social and we are human beings, social beings…. It is not good for your health to walk fast unles you are exercising. I walk 5 miles a day for exercise, I am in excellent shape and I meditate while I’m walking, breathing in good air and taking in my surroundings broadly. I also feel that people who walk fast are in some way uncomfortable and don’t want to be seen, bothered or talked to, which is rude rather you are in the city or not. I think you are an easy victim when you walk fast, allowing people to see that you are in a hurry, therefore not aware of your surroundings and/or you don’t like and appreciate where you are. Besides, why hurry through life. People who walk fast and run do not seem that they are on a mission, they just seem insecure.

  • James
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  • http://www.brisbanecityhypnosis.com Shona Davis hypnosis

    I am a hypnotist and I help lots of people to improve their self confidence. Over the years I have come to realise that the people that may mock you or pull you down and come across as over flowing in confidence, actually have less confidence than their victim. They are simply trying to compensate for their feelings by making someone else feel worse than they do. So the next time someone is giving you a hard time…..pity them!

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  • http://robert-thompson.blogspot.com Rob

    “Self-confidence is knowing that we have the capacity to do something good and firmly decide not to give up.”
    - His Holiness the Dalai Lama

    Great article: here are four simple ways to increase self confidence and restore faith in you!

    1. Think “positive”: write down at least 10 things you’ve done well or been proud of in the last few weeks. Look at the list and think, what does this tell you you’re great at? You could also try to write down a few things each day that you’ve done well. They don’t have to be huge achievements, just stuff you’ve done a good job of. Also think about what you actually done to make these good things happen. Here you’re focusing on not only the outcome but also the process too. See negative experiences as temporary and specific to a situation.

    2. Think “solutions”: big problems sometimes seem impossible to achieve, so break them down into smaller parts. Completing these small parts will make you feel more confident and valued.

    3. Think “passion”: determine what you do best and then reorganize your life, if possible, to spend more time doing these activities.

    4. Think “praise”: be alert to praise both informal and formal. A smile, lack of complaint, a nod, etc can all be taken to mean someone is happy about what you’re doing. Look out for the small signs that have big meanings.

  • http://www.dotkev.com kevin

    I need Major help with self-confidence…everyone says I have none and I am starting to believe them..Can anyone steer me in the right direction? I would really appreciate it.. Kevin

  • Josh

    This made me do so much better on my alien project in school this websire saved my life thank yop♥

  • Josh

    you*

  • http://www.2beconfident.com Matthews.M

    Nice article! Another good tip is to come out of your comfort zone. Don’t always cocoon yourself from doing things you fear. You should be open to new experiences and try it out. It is important for you to know that doing the things you fear the most or those you try to avoid is probably one of the effective ways to develop self confidence. Coming out of your comfort zone and doing things that you fear can be very challenging and this will need a lot of courage.

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    It is very helpful.
    The more you contribute to the world the more you’ll be rewarded with personal success and recognition.

  • Huss

    there were many changes happened to my look and my view in life after fellowing some of these ways.

  • muponisi chritious

    i hv nt tasted this 10 ways b4, they r amaizing

  • uch

    Tnx alot for this short piece.it really helped more than i expected.The eye contact thing’s really wonderful.i can hardly look at people’s faces while talking.now i can look anyone right into the eye balls without a blink.funny enough i find them looking away!somebody says a firm hand shake could be an additional skill.How true is this? By the way thank you once more for this piece.

    Uch.

  • John Bosco

    This information is certainly of a great help to generate self confidence in a person. Thanks a lot for providing this information in a systematic way.

  • vaishnavi

    This artical contains the ganeral but most important n well..known things..! which we knows well but un-notice by us…..this would definatly built our confidance level…!thnx 4 such wonderful artical…!

  • Judith

    your website is realy great I really appreciate wht you’ve written, i wana suggest that you can also provide videos that demonstrate all those qualities. I will be very grateful thanks a million!

  • Judith

    I realy think that all those articles reflect me thank you so much I will try very hard to build my self confidence!

  • Billion

    Thanks a lot for the article and the comments that have been made of building self confidence. I will try my best to remember by following all the 10 steps and hopefully i will be able to gain self confidence.

  • KC

    Yep.

  • JOY

    thanks for this blog!!
    now i feel better & i try to have more self confidence in my self!
    because of this blog i realize how stupid i am..so now i apply this tips to help my self and also to show my skills & knowledge to the people w/ no fear!!

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  • riaz

    i like it and i try to learn more

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  • Rahul

    Nice guidance dude go on!!!!!!!

  • Desta Measa

    It is extremely helpful for the people who in needs of other. I am the one who is using this motivational blog.thank you very much.

  • http://www.barbequekopen.com Barbecue kopen

    Amazing to see the simple ten steps, but keeping them in mind is more difficult. Change takes time, more important be yourself.

  • wetef

    can you please writing Damage of Environment is an inevitable consequence of worldwide improvements in the standard of living. Discuss.

  • crystal

    OMG the posture part is sooooo tru i cant beliv it, i actually have my shoulder back wenever i giv a speech in front of loads of people because i feel so scared amd show lack of confidence. i always think that if I have my shoulder up then people will presume that am big headed and i h8 the fact that i always take notice of what people say and not do the stuff that i like, its sooo frustrating.

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    Stand up and be proud. Confidence comes from inside of you.

  • mehdi

    Im really appreciate for this blog .From this time i want to change my lifestyle your 10 ways are very useful but two thing has problem in my opinion ,i need to more time for better thinking and next week i will explain for you with details.good job

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    I like this article, it helped me a lot. Thanks!

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    i have low self confidence in front of many people and when i share my emotions with friends and others’

  • http://www.thekingscounsel.com JJ

    Hey, love the article and what it entails. I’m a co-founder of a website that is continually putting new information to boost confidence and self-esteem, which in turn improves your life in all aspects including relationships, work, friendship, and your internal happiness. We are building a community of men and women who have real life issues but want FREE one on one advice. Please check us out at http://www.thekingscounsel.com, I look forward to hearing some of your struggles and future successes!

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  • Mujtaba Nasiri

    THAT IS A VERY NICE AND USEFUL ARTICLE I HAVE NEVER READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
    THANKS A LOT!!!!!!!!!!

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  • Nadjrz

    4, 5, 6 and 10 are very useful. Good article anyways.

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  • http://www.skyeflutterby.com Skye

    I think this article is a great overview of things anyone can do to give their self confidence a boost. I have to say that not only does complimenting other people break negativity, you would be surprised how many people will return the compliment. Receiving compliments can be very powerful, it’s reassuring and encouraging which can really help you when you’re trying to boost you self confidence.

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    i like this article, it makes good reading. :)

  • mahroof muhammed

    this article is great ,i like it vary much.

  • Anna

    I like this articke so much, I hope it will help a lot of people

  • Naveen B. Cherian Earaly

    Dear sir, Its is a good work to teach people such good qualities.THis is very interesting,informative and awesome.MAY GOD ALMIGHTY BLESS YOU ABUNDUNTLY.

  • Irene

    I love the article.

  • soulmate

    great article….. :)

  • http://lifeabundanceinfo.com nick bogatin

    I would like to add some self confidence tips:

    Let’s try something. Stand up (or at least sit up straight) and take a DEEP breath. As you breathe in so deeply it begins to hurt, allow your chest and stomach to protrude outward . Take in every last breath you can possibly fit. Hold it for 15 seconds to really extract all of the oxygen and then exhale slowly for 7 or 8 seconds.

    Now that was a deep breath wasn’t it. You took everything you possibly could take in and yet how much is left around you? Would you agree that there is an abundance of air? Of course you would. This is the way that your life is too and you can live an abundant life!

  • BenjaminsButtons

    Those are some pretty darn useful points.
    If you want to go further however, may I suggest this system which almost subliminally builds self confidence and other things, like awareness and concentration. At first it seemed like a total waste of time, but it really helped. I’m pretty sure it’s scientifically verified and all, and it’s well worth the money. I think everyone should give it a go!
    anyway, here is the site where i bought it from.
    notconfident.webs.com

  • http://lifeandreality-kate.blogspot.com/ Kate

    That was so nice of you to share the above tips :) Some people are born confident and are always up for everything and some loose their confidence with time . I think the best way to overcome the feeling of low confidence is to recall the past occurrence when your confidence was high,that will certainly imbibe in you the faith which you had lost in yourself.
    Here’s a fun test on this theme , hope you will enjoy taking it!
    Am I Confident?
    Do you believe in yourself and your ability to do things?
    http://www.3smartcubes.com/pages/tests/confidence/confidence_instructions.asp

  • Mahendra More

    Can u suggest the books of names which can boost of self confidence.

  • Andrea Anders

    wow, this website REALLY helped me, i hope other people listen.my boyfriend says that hes seen a real difference.Thank you!

  • http://www.newselfesteem.com Self Esteem Building

    I like these suggestions.

  • adeel

    these suggestions will bring a great change i my life.

  • fulya

    I like the article in terms of practicable. Simple but efficient tips are good. I think, if anyone wants to boost their confidence and quality of their life, they can find something useful in this article.

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  • Deede

    thank you so much I’ve been needing to build up my self confidence and by reading this it helped me out in what i need to do to achieve this.

  • GYIMAH SAMUEL YAW

    IT IS ALWAYS GOOD TO MOTIVATE PEOPLE BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE ARE IGNORANT ABOUT LIFE AND FOR THAT MATTER THE NEED TO MOTIVATE PEOPLE TO DISCOVER THEIR POTENTIALS IN LIFE. I AM VERY CHALLENGED TO DO SOMETHING

  • http://www.selfempowermentsecrets.com self empowerment

    Hi,

    Great article and thanks for sharing. I like to add one point. That is to to prepare yourself beforehand.

  • Daniel

    Good article. I dont believe in instant staff, but this article proved me otherwise. Point on gratitude could use a bit of revision. A clearly defined vision always produce successful goals. I think a clear mental picture of what u want to achieve coupled with the gratitude concept wil produce more rewardin results.

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  • http://www.davidbingham.net David

    Great content. Powerful people tend to “run the room” not with words but by their presence another way to improve confidence is merely by social proof. I love this article!!

    Lets change the world. Today!
    http://www.whoisdavidbingham.com

  • Stephen Caster

    Good Article….Many successful People are successful not just because of their knowledge but their ATTITUDE and ACTION, and the attitude of been confident is what is shared here….Positive and confident communicators are not born they are made, using techniques and strategies of the above values that already exist in one self…..These values are outlined here to become successful in one’s life be it from Business to an intimate relationship….

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  • karl y

    excellent, short and to the point. we all need a boost now and again, cheers

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    this is really gud..
    infact my of those points come in me..i need to develop the rest.n il surely make an attempt..:)

  • Karen Hardy

    “Confidence is that deep inner belief of knowing that everything you imagine is possible. It is the energy that fuels your life” Harley Lovegrove.
    Harley makes some interesting comments on confidence, relating it to his own experiences etc. It is a very easy blog to read. Well worth reading if you are interested in building confidence.

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  • Ronald

    This is very useful article. Helped a lot!

  • archa

    its veru

  • abhi

    i m very much in need of this article. nd i fond it really helpful. thanx a lot

  • http://www.howtobeabettermantoday.com DeVaughn

    This article said it all in a nut shell about boosting your confidence. Confidence can really change your life I know it did mine.
    But this is definitely a great blog

  • jessey

    i’m feeling confident already while reading this article and i hope i,ll be more confident and its awsm

  • jessey

    its awsm

  • http://whimorwhisky.wordpress.com/ Al

    Great site, but you have to remember that there are several types of introversion, and mine is, by far the worst. I don’t think I could do any of these tips, I think the mountain is too high to climb, but I love the fact that there are people trying to make life easier for us. I wrote a blog (blog was one of the suggestions but nobody has read it so it’s clearly not working) about one such experience on the website. It’s a rare window into how difficult it can be.

  • Paul C

    Great 10 points and all very practical. I have one more big one to add to this list and that’s to eliminate negativity in and around you. One of the biggest diversions to obtaining that feeling of confidence seems to be the negative energy that seems to follow like the tail on haleys comet. sometimes you get caught in the slip stream. Moral is be aware of the danger that heads towards you and make sure you step aside or wear appropriate clothing. Negativity will always be present aslong as there is someone being positive.It is really your choice. I’m off to kick some goals. enjoy smile love and be happy.

  • http://gj kamal

    goooooooooooooodddd

  • bhesh

    This article is very good has genuine approach.

  • Akshay

    This is a very good article. And this is very useful in making ur selfconfidence.
    Thanks……..

  • http://www.10toeverything.com Mujibur Rehman

    Tips are really nice and with accurate content.
    I like these tips ..Thanks a bunch!!

  • vishnu

    thank you……………this article is very helpful and gave me the way to build up self confidence…

  • Zubair

    I think thèse are vital stems to Enhanced confidence.

  • tami

    very good article

  • Mray

    Very GOOD Article, thank you

  • Sunny

    great article :) .. i only have problems in 5 and 8 , rest of the things i do but still …. and one more problem ,i think alot before doing anything . thanks anyway :)

  • Jackos

    I realise more and more that self-esteem IS the source of inspiration. It’s not the goal itself, but our belief we can achieve it. That’s why deluded people (like Madonna) have relentless motivation -because they really believe they’re THAT great!

  • Michael Inyang

    Within the spectrum of what or who you are, there is always what or who you were and within the spectrum of what or who you would be, there is always what or who you are. All are intertwined: the past, the present and the future, but always look at the future with a difference. Hardwork and optimism are the words!

  • harsimran jeet singh

    hi i really impressed by your word little thing i would like enter that this is your life and everywhere there is knowledge i red this i got knowledge from here. so make habbit to collect knowledge. everybody has knowledge of his experience because life is uncertain at present what u learn that will help in your future because knowledge is in your brain nobody take it. it come only when you speak so always speak good words which show your knowledge. because good knowledge is god. god always speaks god words. thanks……….

  • http://www.newselfesteem.com John Forrest

    Good suggestions. Check out http://www.newselfesteem.com for more information on proven methods used to build self esteem and self confidence.

  • Mike Larookie

    Does a woman need to shave her arm pits? I live in China whre most women do not shave, so I think you self esteem advice is not realistic because it does not include the fact that many cultures do not dress or groom like the walking dead in materailism USA. This is why the USA is falling like a brick from the sky. This advice is good if you want to speed up the end of the country.

    Learn the local customs, compromise and realize there are others on this planet that have proably done less to dirty it than the clean shaven….Soap suds in the water?????

    Mike L

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  • Habiba

    this is good one! thanks alot

  • http://www.lifeabundanceinfo.com Abundance

    Hi,i would like to share some thing which is related to self confidence where Great things are seldom achieved without necessary confidence. All the skills and efforts possible are useless if confidence is lacking. Low confidence halts your steps and you cannot take initiative.There is no place for the undecided in this world where success is worshipped, and success seldom comes to someone who is undecided. As the old saying goes, you should stand for something or you will fall for anything – and it’s your confidence that holds you together or breaks you apart, so self confidence will make a man to be focused.

  • Marcus

    Some good advice and common sense here, mixed in with some questionable:

    ” People with confidence walk quickly. ” Not necessarily. Walking quickly can make one look like a slave to the schedule, or stressed, or under someone else’s authority. A slow measured walk can display confidence just as well if not more so. The world can wait.

    Anyway, a good move. Posture, speaking up, being willing to make mistakes, all valuable. The emphasis on gratitude, compliments, and contribution are also very important antidotes to rudeness and self-centeredness. We should be confident, but also always aware that we are interconnected and interdependent.

  • Natalie P Horn

    I came across this article on Google. I was originally typing in “How to be sexy” but before I could type the ‘xy’ Google presented me with self-confidence, so I decided to click on the link that brought me here. I must say that I am very happy that I chose to build self-confidence instead of sexiness. I realized that a person can be sexy, yes, but it is self-confidence that is more important. That, along with other characteristics can lead to sexiness. I am an 18 year old first-year college student struggling to find and show my inner confidence. Thank you, to whoever wrote this article. It is much appreciated and I am sure you have helped many other beside myself.

    P.S I posted it to my Facebook profile as well (laughs) There are a lot of people on there who try to be sexy with no self-confidence. They may need help as well. ;)

    Thank you once again,
    Natalie P. Horn

  • Yemisi Aluko

    This is a good one. Self confidence is a key to successful living

  • Karthi

    I have typed this topic in Google to improve my confidence level. Thank you for your suggestions.

  • http://www.Pickthebrain.com Riaz

    I want to self Confidence

  • http://www.Pickthebrain.com Riaz

    So I respect to your Idea & I Will in future really Thankfull

  • mo

    love it i think ill try it….

  • ASHOK R

    Some good advice and common sense here, mixed in with some questionable:

    ” People with confidence walk quickly. ” Not necessarily. Walking quickly can make one look like a slave to the schedule, or stressed, or under someone else’s authority. A slow measured walk can display confidence just as well if not more so. The world can wait.

    Anyway, a good move. Posture, speaking up, being willing to make mistakes, all valuable. The emphasis on gratitude, compliments, and contribution are also very important antidotes to rudeness and self-centeredness. We should be confident, but also always aware that we are interconnected and interdependent.

  • Kalen

    Mike Larookie-your being a bit judgemental, NOT everyone or place in the U.S is materialistic, you saying that makes you sound ignorant.
    I dont need to belittle or bash other countries to make myself feel better and im pretty sure thats not helping your self confidence in a positive way.
    This page is pretty vague which makes it more versatile, its a good way, i believe, to help those who need a self confidence boost and to get started in the right direction for positive self feelings. If people are visiting this website, including myself, then they are trying to do something to help themselves and i think its great that there is information like this on the web!

  • Deepa

    In the present time self confidence is must, these steps are will really help us

  • http://nil T Tshoganetso

    I never thought I could possibly come across an article on boosting self-confidence and must admit that I learnt a lot.I am a student in Limkokwing Varsity in Botswana

  • daya

    I would say that self confidence is the best friend when you are e strangled and venerable by some even I have observed this important thing in my life, confidence is only that cure which prevents you from this evil suffer.

  • http://improvelifenow.blogspot.com/ mbogro

    Thanks for the tips, they seem easy to use

  • safeena

    I was tying to boost up my confidence. Thank u for this short and neat key points.
    I would like to learn more about gaining self respect and confidence to start a new business and for family success.

  • http://anytimehealth courtney

    I always try to dress neat/ clean, fix my hair and make up the best possible and FORGET IT!

    If I go to the pool in my suit, even if I don’t exactly love how I look in it, I say ‘scr*w it!’ and dive in! who cares how i look, anyway. Did I come to win a fashion show? no i came to swim and have fun. It’s such a downer when people are too self preoccupied to be in the moment.

    I just want to tell people, ‘come on! life’s too short!’

  • Klea

    like

  • http://www.facebook.com joemarie

    w3w …………………………………………

  • http://google dina

    ahm my biggest problem is,no self confidence,
    thank you for the idea how to get self confidence.
    i try this..tnx…

  • sem

    feeling great about yourself is the best feeling ever!

  • asim

    good steps thank u very much

  • syed safdar

    nice article…self confident people can achieve great success in life…

  • Js

    thank you for posint this up…

    I am doing a research on “creating a technique to build self-confidence during public speaking”

    I would have to create my own method and put it on a website.

    Would appreciate some help if anyone has any suggestion on how to build self confidence? Thank You! =D

    This site is really helpful. thanks a lot!

  • swati

    ya its working very nice steps

  • S.ASHOK BERNARD

    i have gone through the above points today and i will start working from right
    now and pls also e mail different articles to create self confidence and i am
    happy and going to take a new life

  • S.ASHOK BERNARD

    really wonderful steps and i am follwoing right now

  • Francisco Gomez

    thank you so much…i am one of those people that looks lowly upon themselves. i am always beating myself up for what i CANT DO or for what i am not, but i have to start looking at the things i can do! playing baseball really requires alot of self confidence, and by following these 10 tips, i have a good feeling that i am going to be one heck of a baseball player!! thank you again:)

  • http://inscribd.blogspot.com Swapnil Sid

    heY! thank you so much! i’m starting to follow these right now!!

  • mark

    mike “loorokie” you can continue to live in China, we don’t want you here

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  • http://www.wmbeco.com George McFarland

    No. 10 is suggested in the Bible about success.

  • abhy pandey

    it is good points for increase self confidence because if you are follow good habits it is convert in your self confidence it is depend on you which point you get healthy manners or other way.

  • abhy pandey

    if you have loose your self confidence first you share your problems or you can not share your problem then write in a paper because you share your problem it is decrease your problem level and support to other way so share your thoughts.

  • narinder dhir

    my problem is that i am afraid of competition ! how can i get rid of it???

  • ashly

    this steps not very easy.weak people can not do it.This is my opinion

  • Rajesh Detroja

    This is really good. please help me someone for give step by step how to follow above the steps.

  • sutanuka

    really found a good one after a long search

  • http://gmail.com sutanuka

    really found a good one after a long search..

  • abhaya

    i ws badly needing it.. thnkx a lot…

  • silvine

    thankyou very much for this information, really needed it. hope my life all together will take a different dirrection.

  • lakshmi sharma

    hey these tips are really useful…. they are actually a boost to everyone.

  • http://masculinefreedom.com Ivan Dyn

    LOVE the personal commercial tip. By doing this exercise you’ll unconsciously tell condition yourself to talk in a positive way.

  • http://www.kamjah.com Life Coaching

    This is an interesting article about the various aspects of confidencce. I have recently read a book which would support some of the statements but also it challenges some of the comments too. Well worth a read if you get the chance. The book is called Inspirational Leadership, the guy also rights a blog which also has some interesting views on management styles

  • http://selfhypnosisconfidence.com confidence building

    Good information, thanks for posting that. I have bookmarked your site and will come back to see what else you have to say. Building confidence is so challenging for me that the more information I have the better: there are so many ideas and people to learn from. I am looking forward to coming back and learning some more to help make a difference to my confidence levels and my life. thankyou David

  • aklima

    I’m too shy to speak out loud in crowds or do presentations in front of people. So this may really help me bring my confidence level up.
    Thank you. =)

  • http://blog.mymoe.info/ wiki

    good tips~ love it

  • Praveen sai

    Thank u for a valuable information about self confident

  • http://fitmindfitlife.com HT

    Thanks for the tips. Another useful blog post to chew on.

  • MissT

    Not sure who has plagiarised who but this information is identical to ezine article…ummm – doesnt anybody in the states have anything new and fresh to say?

  • Awesome

    My dick is gianormous!!!!

  • http://www.newselfesteem.com John Forrest

    Good suggestions. Check out http://www.newselfesteem.com for more information on proven methods used to build self esteem and self confidence.

  • Portia

    I am realy motivated by your suggstions.thank u very much and keep up the good work!

  • Avneet

    Mind blowing article…

  • kalim

    these are really helpfull tips to build self confidence

  • http://www.selfconfidence.com SSG

    Very good suggestion. I am impressed

  • saida issah

    i like this all the these tips above visual. makes one pictures herself in those situations.thank you. i got exactly what i needed.

  • tejashree

    i like too much this suggestion and i should be develope my confident level by adopting this all things its very important to build our currier life.

  • Charulata

    Very well said, Wonderful thoughts very Motivating….Thanks

  • Mohammad mohsin

    Well done
    Nice style of telling some difficult points in an easy way, I hope you will write more useful articles on building the confidence issue.

    Many of us don’t know importance to build our self confidence and how we can improve our confidence.

    Your tips are powerful enough to motivate one and to build one’s self confidence instantly, especially your point of view to build confidence form compliments, speech, dress and posture.

    But I am really unable to understand how can self confidence is improved by
    “Walking faster” and “focusing on contribution”.

    also visit
    http://hubpages.com/hub/Color-your-life-with-confidence

  • http://google.com khilesh

    very nice this helps me to change my life…..

  • Nisar

    nyc to groom our self confidnc………, NIsss…..!!!

  • aj

    impressed …now feeling very much confident…boom boom!!!!

  • Emo

    On my oppinion, reaaaally vague techniques and ineffective techniques have been offered here…..I do not agree with walk faster thing…..WALK SLOWER….do things slower. First you’ll have the time to think about things while you’re doing them and what should be the next thing to do and second a self confident person in as an independant person, master of his/her time. You have calculated how long you’ll need to go somewhere. Of course to make yourself important in the eyes of somebody you can always say that you are very busy or you don’t have the time, but I thought the main goal of the article si to make yourself important and meaningfull in you own eyes…….;)

    I could add to that from my own experience….
    1. Spend some more time infront of the mirror and try to correct whatever you do not like in your outlook and try to understand how cool you actually are.
    2. GO TO THE GYM. First it takes the stress away and it gives you very good positive vibe and even your body is tired your mind is rested and stress hase been pushed out. And finally in couple of months when you look stand infront of the mirror you will see how cool you really are.
    3. Be different than the others. I am not talking about beeing outsider or something like that, but just try to show with some details in your stile in your way of talking and remebmer that this is your unique thing. It is what makes you different than everyone else. And knowing that you’re different in some positive way is enough to make you feel more confident…..:)
    There are many many things but I beleive that people wil find their own trikcs of knowing that they are worth talking to once they go down this road….:)

  • Atif jadoon

    thanks for shearing you experiences through web, i m really very impressed and know that why i have lost my self confidence tell today. from today i will be start my new life with full self confidence. thanks again

  • ashwini

    its very nice and basic thing to build selfconfidence

  • jenkins

    its really superb.i am going to try this

  • dheer

    gud ..1

  • dheer

    gud 1..

  • arshad ejaz

    very well said and impressive suggestions regarding self confidence, it will help alot.
    Jazakallah
    arshad ejaz

  • Caprice

    Thank you for all your tips , they are very good , exped i have a problem with my leg and i cant walk fast , so i dont really no what to say to the walking fast tip. No affence people need to understand that people have problems and not all off us can do nomal things that other people do.
    Thank you for all the other tips though, They really help.

    From Caprice xxx

  • ahsin

    i am here to just ans the objection of emo that walking fast doesn’t works, i agree that it doesnt works always but it works to build confidence, many of times slow walking effect on this

    http://hubpages.com/hub/Building-the-Confidence

  • ahsin
  • Rakesh

    It’s a very good suggesion. I’ve started following it.

  • REEM

    NICE TIPS .THEY CAN REALLY CHANGE A LIFE OF A PERSON …..

  • Anna

    All very well for the able body, but what about people with physical disabilities who cannot walk fast or have a good posture? I am one of these people and I suffer from lack of self confidence on a grand scale. How do I improve myself from a wheelchair?

  • joyee
  • yve

    its good ive learned a lot!! Thanks…!

  • http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-ways-to-instantly-build-self-confidence/ Ulugbek

    thanks :)))))

  • moder

    good work buddy
    anyone wants to learn more about building the confidence visit
    its cool

    http://hubpages.com/hub/6-steps-to-instantly-build-your-confidence-in-60-seconds

  • don

    nice to read………tanx

  • kiki

    this is really helpful, ill keep this in mind ^-^

  • Jackson Mutie

    very true indeed

  • I know

    Some of them may help you.

    But no 10 steps, there is only one way for instilling self confidence. Just progress in your job, profession, position or whatever you want by planning. Once you achieve it, the light comes from within. You are standing erect and walking quickly but constantly failing in your work life. Eventually you would again loose your confidence.

  • amisha tyagi

    this was a aussom suggestions n i think tht i also have this type of prob.!!!
    but i must try to follow some of them……..

  • Igrar

    I feel really confident when a bunch of cash is in my pocket :)

    Great article :)

  • s.alagarsamy

    its very nice really helpful to improve my self confidence

  • KHAWAR

    It is a great step to help cowheart people.

  • http://www.p4parttime.com Adposting

    yes, very good information

  • david

    Listen guys, I’ve read a bunch of spiritual books, bought a ton of self help. This advice right here is IT. If you just apply what is right here, I’m absolutely sure the many other pieces will fall in place. You’ll probably start taking care of yourself better, being more present, cultivating genuine love, eating healthier, and start gaining spiritual depth. Drop all those self help programs if you can just DO what is being said right here. I truly feel the person who wrote this is genuinely confident in a rare way. Peace and love yall!

  • Swara

    Hi All,
    I need to some suggestions. I just wants to improve my English communication like written & verbal. Due this point , I dont have self confidance. I want to improve it. Please suggest/give me some helpful ideas.

    Thanks in advance,
    Swara

    • mugur

      hey u should start reading some english books and listen to the radio… i recommend bbc radio 4 they have some nice theatre plays during noon and afternoon…try listening bbc radio 1 in the morning also from 6 to 10 there is a nice show that really makes your day. by practicing you will get better there is no other way also try writting something like essays 200 words per essay one at 2 weeks should be enough about any topic and then your essay should be corrected by someone who speaks english properly.hope you improve soon just dont give up!!!

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  • http://google aditya sahay

    I feel gud after reading these things..hope i make the most of it very soon.

  • Hrujith Thiruvilwamala

    * I am fully agreed with these 10 precious STEPs, and i should follow it from today itself…
    Thank u verymuch for giving such a valuable advice for all *

  • fakiha naseem,

    these will very helpful to me,i will do it.thanks allot .

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  • http://healthywealthyboomer.com/wordpress Michael Barrett

    This is good stuff.

    I appreciate the message and the clarity. It is a reminder to ‘check in’ with myself more frequently and do a better job monitoring the details. You have also given me cause to consider what I am doing well and where I need improvement.

    Thoughtful and gently inspiring.

    Thank you for creating this.

    Very nice website, BTW.

    Regards from paradise,

    Michael

  • nikhil

    i will try these techniqes in my life. lets hope for the best.

  • http://www.motivationandhappiness.com/2011/confidence-self-esteem/ Daniel

    Great article I love reading such good material.

    http://www.motivationandhappiness.com/2011/confidence-self-esteem/

  • mordecai

    nice talk, bt i dont agree wit workin fast. U jst ned 2 be ur self and stay very concious. Bt dnt b wek. Workin fast may attract unneceesry attention 2wards u and u becom object of ridicul.

  • http://bx-design.com/ Charla Yates

    There are some attention-grabbing points in time on this article but I don’t know if I see all of them heart to heart. There is some validity but I’ll take hold opinion until I look into it further. Good article , thanks and we wish extra! Added to FeedBurner as effectively

  • Fredrick

    I want to improve on my speaking publicly

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  • Paradox

    I do not agree. Yes, it can help, but those aren’t the ways that will help on the long run. Very soon, things will be as same as before, if not worse. Why? Because the main problem is not changed – your way of thinking. There are no magic tricks like ones that you numbered.
    That process is slow and hard, but it can be made by everyone!
    I myself has helped several people and confirm that it is possible.

    I’ll give you some guidance: set of rules that you will respect, at any time and place!
    Rule no.1: First thing that has priority about everything is YOU! Nobody else! Remember that for any occasion. You and only you will stand for you. Don’t count on anyone to help you. If someone does – good for you. But that’s it! Defend yourself, don’t allow anyone to step on you at any cost, because damage that can do is far more worse than what can happen if you defend yourself (you may loose your job? Big deal, you’ll find another. If you stay on the job where anyone can step on you, soon your health will suffer, your personal life, depression… Is it worth?).
    Rule no.2: Do not allow discussion about your way of thinking. Do not allow to drag yourself into discussion – you are already lost. Stop any try from anyone by simply sarcasm or irony. Do not allow to be questioned – you are always right! It’s sound silly – how can u always be right? You can’t, but if you repeat that to yourself, you will show that you’ll not tolerate to be taken for granted by others. You will show character.

    On the end, everything what is all that about is – how you will present yourself to others, what picture they will get from you. Because, you are the one who create that picture, were you aware of that or not!

  • Ebube

    Am awfully grateful.I can now deal with it.

  • http://howtoimprovelife.org sylvain

    very interesting, easy to read and very helpful…thanks!

  • Esther

    great article………….keep it up,hoping to seee more of this.

  • Meg

    Why ‘herself’ and not ‘themselves’? ‘Herself’ is a sexist terms a sit excludes ‘himself’ and vice-versa.

  • Soudeh

    I read all your suggestion one after one. they are great. Thanks

  • Soudeh

    I read all your positive suggestions. They are really great. Thanks

  • jerry

    thanks for your suggestions.it makes my thoughts so clear..

  • Anthony Asegah

    This are great ideas i was looking for. i am not that bad in these aspects but i needed to build more ideas from this. thanks a lot

  • bukata ishaya

    I am really impress by these ideas. Thank you

  • bukata ishaya

    Thank you for all this ideas

  • shaina mehta

    i am inspired with the ideas.thanks.

  • RAMYA

    Really its true……..it will really work out in everyone’s life………….

  • http://surya.appy@gmail.com surya

    all suggestions are superb. Am totally impressed… thank u so much

  • Vikash

    Dear Sir,
    I have read your comments.its really energatic and impressed topics.

  • Bimal paudel

    Thank you so much for sharing your supuberb ideas for enchancing the cofidence for the happiness of intellectual and grand mankind..

    • http://wilsyldeo@yahoo.com wilsyl

      thank you for those
      ideas that you share with us…

  • Vandana

    Good post.
    Thank you for sharing your valuable information,you might find this presentation interesting.
    http://www.commlabindia.com/improve-self-confidence-presentation/

  • uchenna solomon

    i read your topics, they are all intersting. am impressed. Thanks alot

  • uchenna solomon

    i read your topics they are all wonderful, am impresed .Thanks

  • http://www.hypnopardis.com hypnopardis

    Did you try any possible approach but it didn’t help? Do you want to build a powerful self confidence in a very easy way with sustainable result forever?

    Imagine what you can do with a powerful self confidence, you’ll be able to do anything. Change your life in any way you want it to change. Boost your self confidence and create a protection shield which you can use to protect yourself from unwanted feelings and things going on around you. Surprise yourself how fast you can build an extreme powerful self-confidence.

    http://www.hypnopardis.com/nlp/default/products/self-confidence-self-hypnosis-pack-1.html

  • vandana

    Thank you for sharing your valuable information.I found them really great.
    you might find this resource interesting.
    http://www.commlabindia.com/improve-self-confidence-presentation/

  • http://www.731860572@qq.com allen

    buiding the confidence in your life ,the more you wanna be ,the better you are

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  • Rishi Raj

    these ideas are very helpful in the way of making success.

  • http://www.lainnadobosz.com Lainna

    These concepts are so simple yet powerful! Thanks for the reminder! Application is key! I’ll be sure to make these practices something I add to my daily actions!

  • Jalal Bazwan Shinwari

    Dear Sir/Madam;
    This was amazing 10 steps, and i will say that it is the summary of the full book of D. Carnegie (How to speak efficiently….).

    I am wishing you long long life with much successes and victories in your life!!!

    Best Regards;
    Jalal Bazwan Shinwari
    Kabul Afghanistan

  • mohammad mohsin

    nice tips… but i don’t agree with walking faster
    http://hubpages.com/hub/How-to-build-your-confidence-be-simple-and-logical

  • http://hi5.com sphaniram

    now i start applying these things ! if they succeed ill again give a comment

  • http://www.deliveryourpromise.com jamie

    Here’s a comment I wrote on Linkedin which I thought I’d share with you…

    Confidence is a result. It is built through time like any learning process. It requires action to get the ball rolling…the rest in my experience tends to fall in to place if you’re committed to it. We all start out shaky…that’s just life. For a longtime I used to believe I had to be perfect – that stops confidence dead! Nikes ‘just do it’ phrase has some real merit and I also appreciate it doesn’t always feel easy. Sometimes, if it’s really important you just have to do it and ignore those thoughts that say you can’t or you’re not good enough, because it’s your thinking that creates the fear. Nothing else…fear is a self created illusion.A poor use of the magic you have available in your imagination.

    http://linkd.in/inZQRv

    Please feel free to contact me

  • Vishnu

    Good article…….
    thank u for explaning on the external factors which can make me confident and positive……

  • http://www.improvepersonality.info/ Tanmi Gold

    Good ways to improve self confidence, at times when we feel low. But, to maintain a long lasting confidence levels, one must develop a complete strong personality.

  • Ravi

    Read all the suggestions to build self confidence , and I could connect with all of these as being low in confidence myself.

    Thanks a lot for the information sure will be of great help to me/others.

  • SAUMYA RANJAN

    Finding the above ways interesting, will definately try these to change my way of looking at things.

    take care

  • Ahsin

    hay guys!
    check my work want your support
    I write best of me and best of my articles
    I am working on confidence building too and i need your support and suggestions

    I have learned all this by studying many books and taking many lectures, now i want to share with all those who want to build their confidence.
    For a longtime I used to believe I had to be perfect – that stops confidence dead! Nikes ‘just do it’ phrase has some real merit and I also appreciate it doesn’t always feel easy. Sometimes, if it’s really important you just have to do it and ignore those thoughts that say you can’t or you’re not good enough, because it’s your thinking that creates the fear.

    A great figure or physique is nice, but it’s self-confidence that makes someone really sexy.

    Its a little effort,I developed a great sense of self-confidence when I was very young.

    I emphasize self-esteem, self-confidence, and dignity, not as an ideal, but as a real test of community organization. Without leadership development, community organizations do not have staying power.

    :)
    http://hubpages.com/hub/How-to-build-confidence-a-life-changing-article-confidence-building

    check it and feedback me… just a minute from your side for my effort

  • http://www.vision-academy.biz Carlo R. Cartledge

    Hey, great information & awesome site! I truly believe that every human activity is dictated by a person’s confidence or lack thereof. Without it, your life is meaningless and success is minimal. Check out my blog building and feel free to comment and follow. I will be sure to return the favor. Thanks!

    http://bit.ly/io0eSH

  • http://www.facebook.com marilou pangan

    i really enjoyed reading this tips. i learned many new ideas that will help me to build more confidence. thank you :))

  • ayush

    i relly like this site !! thanks!1

  • http://www.snpsports.com.bd paplu datta

    really all those suggestion will definitely help for every people in the world.
    thanks…

  • karl yildiz

    excellent advice, thanks.

  • guta

    i really love the suggestion, i need it so badly and i hope that will work for me

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  • http://N/A Shriram

    I think this article is really good n everyone who has lost his/her confidence or wanted to build confidence shud read it and also try to implement.While reading i came to know that i have lost my confidence n i need to use ur tips of confidence,thanks for your help this site and initiotor is really doing good job,i appretiate ur work!

  • Daivat thakur

    i like ur article. I hope it will help to enhance my self confidence. Till i not very happy. i required much more step for increasing self confidence. I hope u will impeove ur article

  • rosalie

    thank you so much! Its a great help for those who are in fear to express their self . Yeah.. we need to gain more confidence so that in the end there are no regrets and sorrow. :) god bless!

  • susanta

    really your advice r very helpful for all

  • shubh

    VERY NICE AND GRACEFUL SUGGESTIONS….
    SURELY I’LL FOLLOW IT
    THANKS!!!!!!

  • diane

    ….,,tnx. for the suggestion, I try those things to improve my self-confidence…,,

  • Billy

    Great list! Perfect to use as a daily or weekly quick reminder.

  • Fasheehudeen

    Thanks for sharing the views, greatly appreciated.

  • http://facebook arpit

    i really like this as it help me in getting boost up

  • govi

    it is really true, i will apply it, thanx

  • http://www.breakthroughselfimage.com Joshua

    Everything you have said here will work to create a better self esteem. I love it!

    I especially like what you said about “your perception of yourself will have an enormous impact on how others see you”. This is SO true.

    If you change the way you see yourself, you can most defitely help to change the way others see you too!

    What a great blog!

    To discover my #1 secret for breaking out of a negative self image, visit the my website link below!

  • galaxy kumar

    if anyone acts upon it,,,he wuld surly gain confidence

  • stella maris

    How inspirational, thanks for helping us discover how best we can motivate and carry ourselves i see a great change in me.

  • raj

    well by reading the article itself i feel that it will work good,,,,,,so i will implement all things into my life,,,thank you people for supporting this article

  • revathi

    Really i inspire when i read these all things.

  • monik

    Well…all suggestion are good.

    bye

  • sumit kumar gupta

    its very nice msg for every one .thanks

  • seen

    hi! THANKS A LOT ITS REALY WONDERFUL.

  • akbar

    its really great msg towards confusion…..

  • ram

    its good word’s for people who devlop self confidence

  • http://google rajitha

    i learned a lot very thankfull to u……..

  • farhan

    thnx..it helped me a lot

  • raza

    i also lack self confidence..confuse in front of people, especially who are elders.i hope this page will help me in building my confidence..thanx a lot

  • Keshav Ghimire

    thanks a lot.. because i got useful suggestion.

    • http://none chrysanthus

      wow is really great to hear this,i’m just a web suffer and was wanting to get such a message,hope it helps me because i lack it and its very annoying.i sweat alot when i talk to almost everybody,lack words to say,and also become conused,which makes me look like a fool.

  • tabu

    it is very helpful for me.thank you so much

  • dennis

    gr8 advice! Am prolly gonna maximise dem.

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  • Jabbu

    Excellent Tips !!!! I learned a lot from this article, hoping more …. Thanks !!

  • Pingback: 10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence | Kevin Powell-Self Improvement

  • krishan dhanwaria

    great teaching in this site…..gud work!!!!!!!

  • Cas

    Tanx alot, nw am proud of my self cos my self confidence is high

  • http://gmail Ravish

    Thanks a lot for your it really is neccesary to tell the people the correct things which help them improve themselves thanks a looooooooooooooooot

  • kishor

    hy…….this is very nice messange
    thanks lots

  • http://www.hypnopardis.com hypnopardis

    (Video) How Much Self Confidence Do You Want? http://tiny.ly/rda7

  • George

    Was a short, but helpful points to grow one’s selfconfidence

  • cody

    thanks hope this work cause i need this before i go to college

  • nazima

    thanks a lot..this is really helpful for me to increase my confidence…

  • Jaffar

    V should have self confident but of some resons we will lost it so by reading this sentence i got my confident back dude

  • Najib

    thanks alot…hopn more

  • http://www.enterwall.com John Walley

    I agree. Believe it or not many people struggle with low self confidence. Many would be surprised to know the level of value that exercises like these provide to the average Joe and the Entrepreneur.

  • http://www.gettingthegirl.org Chris

    Good post. Only thing I have to disagree with is the moving fast part. While you shouldn’t walk too slow, moving faster makes you look like your in less control of yourself and time. Working out is great advice though. You don’t have to go overboard but its good to stay in shape.

  • waseem asif

    those people who want to improve yourself its good for them . every one should
    be improve our abilities like selfconfidence, wellpower,comunication,knowledge,personality and so many other things

  • anuradha.N

    Its good and very useful

  • Arun

    Its realy nice

  • Mario

    thank you very much for the motivation… one question, if someone lacks confidence does it make them depressed?,beacuse latey i feeldown about eveything for no reason at all just watchin other people and not being able to come close to wat u want to be.
    but anyways thankz again PEACE

  • ritu

    hey, thanks for this wonderful msg.it’s really worth it.

  • Vinay

    This is very good. Please should follow above mentioned points and improve their self confidence.
    Vinay

  • Farooq

    i have to read it artical throughly i like it thank you very much for posting keep it up

  • Jeff Criswell

    This all sounds like a lot of BS to me. Like when a mother wants a uncooperative kid to eat all their vegetables they will say things like’ “Eating you vegetables will make your eyesight better.” I think most of these suggestions is from someone who likes to dictate how others dress and act but can just come out and say it so instead he/she uses the above. “If you dress better…etc.

  • Sam

    Thanks for your great blog, I just subscribed to your blog so that i won’t miss any thing new nor do i forget the URL.
    best wishes, keep up this nice blog

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  • G.boy

    I see an improvement in my self leaving a comment. Thumbs up

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  • Khalid Mitchell

    Thanks for taking the time to do this article

  • joshe

    felt that my self esteem was improved after reading this

  • Fahad

    Its really a good can i print it.

  • Khan

    Really! impressive tips which would help me to get out from difficulties.

  • PATTUGALAN

    two thumbs for this blog!!! Helps me a lot..Thanks

  • lotty fitzpatrick

    Hey great blog but i suffwr very badly with self confidance i work out eat healthy and well most of the things on your list i feel very depressed sometimes about myself i dont understand why becuase i am forever gettimg compliments and even have a great life with my fioncee and his family but i just cant seam to feel good about myself :(

  • Rahul Maan

    ohhh….I Knew That All….

  • rik

    very good advice.

  • Akhil RV

    Thanks a lot

  • Shahnawaz

    very nice ,all 10 points r very effective,

  • chakravarthy

    Reaaly Good One @ Every One Should Follow These Steps

  • avantika

    SO sweet it increase confident & we never shy to express thoughts in front of anyone

  • avantika

    When u happy change your life by its own easily & your confident & self esteem is increase that ‘s god gift for u. So be happy ever.

  • anita

    Its very good artical if we should appy on our life we will be successfull person in the life

  • zenith

    it is absolutely nice article.

  • Manpreet

    Very nice article

  • aymen

    i agree its realy so nice.

  • kshitij agrawal

    self confidence is very important for a man to be a perfect man.

  • sriya

    nice ………………………………………

  • vinod kumar

    good one………….

  • http://www.hygiene2day.com Akhilesh

    Thanks 4 this topic..

  • Lucy

    yaya bitch

  • fasahat

    It really works if u follow that points.

  • cas

    am realy grateful cos dis has truely helped me in building my self confidence, my advice 2 people is 2 imbibe dis ten ways cos it rily worked 4 me.

  • shameen

    nic e article

  • Norine

    Just reading this helped me out. Reading this made me have thoughts on when i felt uncomfortable with myself. It made me realize that i don’t need anyone to look up to, when the one person i should look up to is myself. I don’t know why i didn’t see it before, but i am my own leader.(: This is really good advice and i am going to use it. Thanks so much.

  • Gauri shankar

    This is very needful for own life

  • Anusuya

    very good article for the betterment of attitude and confidence level…

  • Archna

    Nice post…I really enjoy this..
    And definitely going to adopt these steps…

    Thanks

  • http://www.gainselfconfidence.org Michael

    Good tips.

    Another good tip I can give is to *face your fears*. The more fears you face, the more confident you will become and your character will become much stronger.

    Try it and you’ll see ;-)

  • sadikshya

    i feel shy 2 grate my deep con fidence but now i feel grave confidence,,,,,,, Zoot

  • sanyukta

    hey!!!!!!!really it works

  • phrank

    I’m happy I ended up on this page somehow, dint regret time spent reading this points on how to boosten self confidence, clicked in my head and I know its going to work for me. This is priceless but thanx a milli……TeGa from Nigeria

  • http://Www.Google.Com Nice
  • http://Www.Google.Com Nice

    Good

  • Rod

    I really need this. I’m 24, and feel a little low about myself at times, but glad I came across this page.

  • http://www.absoluteselfconfidence.com Vicky S.

    Great tips! Key is to take the focus off ourselves to see how we can help other people. When we are driven by the desire to help others, we will find a source of strength and confidence that we never thought we had.

  • Kushum

    Why didnt i read this article b4? I am very grateful to these tips

  • Laura

    Amazingly AMMMMAZZZZIING

  • http://n/a Suraj Mokal

    This tips is very nice…..
    It is very useful for myself….
    Thanks………..

  • http://??? Emily

    i just wanna say that i’m currently going through anxiety and i’m going to try and follow these things. I’ll see if it works. sounds like it will though. :)

  • Jay

    hi friends
    u r here for knowledge about self confidence from my opinion this article abt self confidence is one of the better. In that way we can understand how to build self confidence …………..

  • Tmeadows92

    I appreciate this article. I am already doing a few of these things but there are some things I never really thought about that effect self confidence. I didn’t think about making a little speach to tell myself in the mirror, some mornings I could really use a confidence booster and I think that will work wonders =)

  • Akhil

    Such a great article. This will definitely help towards boosting self confidence.  The ways enumerated are really very practical.
    Akhil Srivastava, Lucknow

  • Helpmeguys

    Hi ppl ! M 16 and I just came from another country and ma accent is totally different I tried hard to pickup wit American accent ! Ma mates in high school made fun of me and I laughed wit tem too ! But at the end of the day I do care wat ppl say ! I was the most popular girl in ma native-school and it’s not even abt being popular but i dnt hav many friends and tat make me feel worse ! I dnt talk to ppl a lot .. I became kinda reserved here … Plz help if u can

    • I’ll help you

      Hey dont worry its not a big problem i had it once also, but it can be removed like a hair from a surface of milk. contact me on my email (naveed_nutkani@hotmail.com)

    • I’ll help you

      Hey dont worry its not a big problem i had it once also, but it can be removed like a hair from a surface of milk. contact me on my email (naveed_nutkani@hotmail.com)

  • A2022750

    who re-upped for two Eagles Michael Vick Authentic Jersey years, as a joker type who can play either strong side linebacker or defensive end.

  • JONAOBELLA

    jona, fortunately this implies that confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.

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  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_LOUGJT6T4AYYR2N4LS2WQOR7SQ Michael Velasquez

    please….help me… all my life i have been overweight now i have to start my story from the beginning i was born in Manhattan and i lived there for a few years and then i moved to the Bronx at age 11, in a neighborhood heavy of Jamaicans and puerto ricans, im Dominican. i couldn’t afford much, me my mother and  brother (No father he left me when i was 2 years old) were living under section 8 housing even with the city’s help it was tough paying the bills, i was living in a very tough neighborhood, i saw my first dead body when i was 12 from a shootout across from my building, either you was a bully or a punk that’s the way it was, so imagine school. now i been a good kid when i was growing up in Manhattan i knew the neighborhood had lots of fun etc so when i moved i changed the way i think , spoke etc school for me was ….well picture yourself in a class full of bullies some were doing there school work others was fighting for a drop of a dime this was elementary school, my life changed though when i went to middle school….

    now i was in the most dangerous middle school in the city Richard R Green MS113  (here’s a review    http://insideschools.org/middle/browse/school/503     )  i was a 13 years old 6th grader in a class full of 14,15,16,17 year old’s . i passed my classes and still to this day i have no idea how i did it…all i did was sit in class and do NOTHING my class would go CRAZY!!! during the day. if a teacher walks into class all the students would curse out the teacher , throw tables  across the room,  fight alot etc and the school wouldn’t do a thing about it, I was in the middle of this this would continue for all 3 years 6th,7th and 8th grade, NOW…

    i always been overweight, every-time i would get in an argument in class they would target my weight at first it didn’t bother me but overtime it gotten very serious , i gotten into fights when i was made fun of and i won them but i wasn’t the same, i then became very insecure about my weight.

     now lets fast forward to high school, im 15 this is where my life turn upside down, i made alot of friends in High School during my freshman year i was the class clown type. then one day on my bus ride back home my friend met up with two girls who knew him from back than they took one look at me and starting going on and on and on AND ON about how fat i am my friend told me don’t listen too them and we went home all there disses stayed in my head running back and forth i started missing class i said later to my mom than i went to the roof and stayed there all day by myself i started missing so many days of school it was like each time i would go to school as the months go by , sooner or later i was targeted for my weight, since my high school was the type that i could leave at ANY time and the school wouldn’t care i usually did and of course i ended up repeating the 9th grade

    it gotten so drastic that i just stopped going to school all together,  my house phone would ring alot it would either be the school calling about me or my friends wondering why  i aint showing up, of course i didn’t tell them my problems i gotten on a diet and started working out i ended up dropping outta high school im 17 at this point i started getting depressed i tried suicide multiple times  didnt work i ended up just staying in the house for days and days until February of this year. 2011 Im 19 now with no GED or High school diploma scared to go outside because i think everybody is looking at my weight most of my friends is in rikers prison or dropped out as well. in February i up my diet and workout i was weighing 234 pounds  its now august and i am weighing 187 pounds and still going i also put muscle on my arms and legs i went from a size 38 to a size 32 in jeans, so there’s that but MY FEARS ARE STILL THERE!!!  i am still scared of going outside im going to study for my GED this September but im scared i wont be able too because of my thoughts , i still see myself fat in the mirror even though EVERYONE I KNOW tells me i am skinny i  cant see what they see, this is my life at this point and i don’t know what to do my mom helped me alot on this journey,  but i don’t think i will be here for long as the urges to commit suicide appear again i feel like my life is ruined, i don’t have any confidence at all  no matter what nice things people tell me Help me what can i do to get out this slump in my life.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_LOUGJT6T4AYYR2N4LS2WQOR7SQ Michael Velasquez

    please….help me… all my life i have been overweight now i have to start my story from the beginning i was born in Manhattan and i lived there for a few years and then i moved to the Bronx at age 11, in a neighborhood heavy of Jamaicans and puerto ricans, im Dominican. i couldn’t afford much, me my mother and  brother (No father he left me when i was 2 years old) were living under section 8 housing even with the city’s help it was tough paying the bills, i was living in a very tough neighborhood, i saw my first dead body when i was 12 from a shootout across from my building, either you was a bully or a punk that’s the way it was, so imagine school. now i been a good kid when i was growing up in Manhattan i knew the neighborhood had lots of fun etc so when i moved i changed the way i think , spoke etc school for me was ….well picture yourself in a class full of bullies some were doing there school work others was fighting for a drop of a dime this was elementary school, my life changed though when i went to middle school….

    now i was in the most dangerous middle school in the city Richard R Green MS113  (here’s a review    http://insideschools.org/middle/browse/school/503     )  i was a 13 years old 6th grader in a class full of 14,15,16,17 year old’s . i passed my classes and still to this day i have no idea how i did it…all i did was sit in class and do NOTHING my class would go CRAZY!!! during the day. if a teacher walks into class all the students would curse out the teacher , throw tables  across the room,  fight alot etc and the school wouldn’t do a thing about it, I was in the middle of this this would continue for all 3 years 6th,7th and 8th grade, NOW…

    i always been overweight, every-time i would get in an argument in class they would target my weight at first it didn’t bother me but overtime it gotten very serious , i gotten into fights when i was made fun of and i won them but i wasn’t the same, i then became very insecure about my weight.

     now lets fast forward to high school, im 15 this is where my life turn upside down, i made alot of friends in High School during my freshman year i was the class clown type. then one day on my bus ride back home my friend met up with two girls who knew him from back than they took one look at me and starting going on and on and on AND ON about how fat i am my friend told me don’t listen too them and we went home all there disses stayed in my head running back and forth i started missing class i said later to my mom than i went to the roof and stayed there all day by myself i started missing so many days of school it was like each time i would go to school as the months go by , sooner or later i was targeted for my weight, since my high school was the type that i could leave at ANY time and the school wouldn’t care i usually did and of course i ended up repeating the 9th grade

    it gotten so drastic that i just stopped going to school all together,  my house phone would ring alot it would either be the school calling about me or my friends wondering why  i aint showing up, of course i didn’t tell them my problems i gotten on a diet and started working out i ended up dropping outta high school im 17 at this point i started getting depressed i tried suicide multiple times  didnt work i ended up just staying in the house for days and days until February of this year. 2011 Im 19 now with no GED or High school diploma scared to go outside because i think everybody is looking at my weight most of my friends is in rikers prison or dropped out as well. in February i up my diet and workout i was weighing 234 pounds  its now august and i am weighing 187 pounds and still going i also put muscle on my arms and legs i went from a size 38 to a size 32 in jeans, so there’s that but MY FEARS ARE STILL THERE!!!  i am still scared of going outside im going to study for my GED this September but im scared i wont be able too because of my thoughts , i still see myself fat in the mirror even though EVERYONE I KNOW tells me i am skinny i  cant see what they see, this is my life at this point and i don’t know what to do my mom helped me alot on this journey,  but i don’t think i will be here for long as the urges to commit suicide appear again i feel like my life is ruined, i don’t have any confidence at all  no matter what nice things people tell me Help me what can i do to get out this slump in my life.

    • Caroline Redden

      Your story has really touched me because like you I let fear stop me from moving forward in my life for many many years until I got the courage to take small steps toward change -which take a lot of effort, when in your mind negativity is ingrained…you’ve made a start with the changes so a big well done to you!!! There’s a fabulous confidential helpline call the Samartains that you can e-mail, that can help you with your feelings and help you focus on moving forward and leaving old demons behind to live a more healthy and happy life. I wish you every success with this Michael because your power comes from within and I’ve a hunch you have it! Blessings from Ireland

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_LOUGJT6T4AYYR2N4LS2WQOR7SQ Michael Velasquez

        thank you Caroline i need all the strength i can get new york city is a Huge town i know so many places in this city im so used to it by now and yet im scared … scared of people i guess… i have to break free soon Sept, 1 is right around the corner, i need to start my life, i am so tired of all my fears, once again thank you i truly mean it i will come here from time to time and post updates

        • Jannlynch

          wow michael your story yet so touchin it really really helped me an 31 with 3 kids all boy an i have no confdince i lost me mum wen i was 12 she was a alcholic an i was the oldes off 5 children she left behined my dad went off with me mums best freind soo trusting people has never been easy am sorry am going on but i realy know u will be ok please contact me back i would love u as a freind x

          • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_LOUGJT6T4AYYR2N4LS2WQOR7SQ Michael Velasquez

            thanks jann i really appreciate it, i have also came back with an update to my life, i know its a little late but i am going to start taking GED classes this Friday, i pray this goes well, i was told i have to take 6 weeks of classes then i will be able to take the test and get my GED. i already have plans to go to BMCC in downtown Manhattan, i was told by my guidance counselor  ” if i focus i would be taking summer classes at BMCC” I just got to get past this final step and get my GED to finally start my life… thanks again leave your email, maybe we can talk about your personal problems if you like and i can give you some sort of advise, even if its minor talking it out sometimes helps others, so who knows :D

          • L JamesMcFarland

            Congratulations Michael!  You have come soooo very far!  Keep your momentum going Michael, it’s one of the biggest secrets of building your confidence- put one little win on top of the next little win, on top of the next and so on!  Don’t stop now! Dude, you should be so proud of yourself!  You’ve come up out of a “sewer of the soul,” and now, you’re seeing the light and starting to bathe in it!  So inspiring…KEEP GOING!!!

          • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_LOUGJT6T4AYYR2N4LS2WQOR7SQ Michael Velasquez

            thanks jann i really appreciate it, i have also came back with an update to my life, i know its a little late but i am going to start taking GED classes this Friday, i pray this goes well, i was told i have to take 6 weeks of classes then i will be able to take the test and get my GED. i already have plans to go to BMCC in downtown Manhattan, i was told by my guidance counselor  ” if i focus i would be taking summer classes at BMCC” I just got to get past this final step and get my GED to finally start my life… thanks again leave your email, maybe we can talk about your personal problems if you like and i can give you some sort of advise, even if its minor talking it out sometimes helps others, so who knows :D

  • Simple_kizz28

    nice!

  • mohit

    very good and motivational .i rellay inspired thank u so much
     

  • mohit

    very good and motivational .i rellay inspired thank u so much
     

  • AJ

    Self-confidence comes from self-belief  and self-belief only comes when you truly know within you what you are. 

  • Xxmilo360

    thanks.I’m twelve years old and ever teacher I had told me to speak up.I had so much to say but I had the fear of being judged in a good or bad way and having my expectations to high or low  for me to handle.I guess I was just scared.

  • Scarlet

    I think that this is really helpful. Not only did it piont my life in a good direction but it opened up my shell and helped me express the things that i thought were not okay until now

  • Britts

    i have ‘orrible self confidence. 

  • Hillary

    great post. love #4 + 6 good tips. i have found that self confidence also comes from loving your body and doing whatever you want no matter what the voices say. 

    • jyoti

      hi….my problm is dat i dnt feel nw dat i luk great anymre,in colg dys i was more confident abt every thing nd mainly abt my luks,,,,,i do every thing which u mention abv bt aftr sm hrs i feel i m nt lukng good bcz of dis i m loosing my confidence….help me out before i give up…..

      • srk7

        Jyoti, when you try the tips given here or anywhere else, its not enough to do just try it once or twice. Remember, practice makes perfect. Everything is a learning experience, whether it is multiplication tables or social skills. Keep at it till you are able to do it without thinking about it! Especially the physical exercise part! That alone can do wonders for you physically, emotionally, mentally.
        And smile… to yourself and to others… from your heart! :-)

  • Sango_9314

    Since everyone is putting their problems down, I might as well put one of my own

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_KH2U6ACWN4C66BUCKX72M4BWUY sangog

    So since everyone is posing their problems, I figured, I might as well put my own out there. I am very envious of other people and I feel that their accomplishments are worth more than my own. I’m extremely jealous basically. I get jealous over my boyfriend all the time. I get mad when people flirt with him. I get mad at the slightest thing. I don’t want anything bad to happen. please help!

  • kiran

    thank u!!!

  • kiran

    thank u!!!

  • mai

    well, self confidence is a fact.. it helps me a lot.. just want to share something, before i don’t believe in my self..but because of this simple steps and tips it helps me to improve and face other.. I can say “i am grown”

  • Lemon

    i have this problem.. every time i walk in the public i always feels that people are staring at me and laugh at me.. and when i attend parties my mind says that “I DON’T BELONG HERE, they are too social.. pls. give some advice..

  • KRISHNA

    THIS IS AWESOME

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  • Zack

    As a 17 year old who’ s read hundreds of self-improvement articles online, I’ve learned that the best way to improve yourself is to LOSE YOURSELF.

    Focus on the community, your family and friends, and the greater good; stop worrying about your own microscopic troubles. The only way to bring out the best in yourself is to bring out the best in others. Otherwise, what’s the point? We all have our issues, worries, setbacks, etc.

    A great way to start enjoying life is to attend local activities. Support a local musician/band, go to a town festival, hit up a party… And CONNECT with the people you meet. Strike up a conversation and figure out exactly who that person is that you’re talking to. Exchange numbers and email address with people and make new contacts.

    It’s all about being selfless! :)

  • Uriel Mtz_254

    I have achieved all these steps and am now so confident in my own skin that I feel like I can go inside a building or a place where there are a lot of people and run around and act a clown  in front of people without even carring if I get beat up by everyone and even less if they judge/laugh at me..haha

  • Prashanthpandu

    Very Nice ..!!!!!

  • Ariel Chojnacki

    I cry when I go shopping for my wedding dress. I know it’s not because I don’t want to marry the man I’m engaged to, it’s that I’m afraid of what everyone will say when they see me in a dress. I wear dresses, but I don’t feel beautiful in a wedding dress. I feel fat and ugly and I don’t want my soon to be husband seeing me like that on our wedding day of all days. I know he’s not as shallow as I lead myself to believe and he tells me I’m beautiful everyday, I just don’t feel like I’m good enough for him. I feel like he could do better and I try so hard to look and be as beautiful as I feel he deserves, but I’m not living up to my own expectations and it’s killing our wedding. I need to build some self confidence and fast. I don’t want to push away this amazing guy just because I can’t get myself together. Please help me.  - Ariel

  • http://icanthebook.com Tjlinnard

    Self confidence is talked of so often as this outwardly attained feet that needs to be worked on consistently by “doing” things.  This is where I completely disagree.  I know for a fact that everyone is born with an endless abundance of confidence, but somewhere along the path of life most people lose site of it and it somehow gets locked up in a cage inside of you.  There it sits for years, sometimes lifetimes, just stewing and pent up building such incredible energy that through all of our subconscious actions winds up acting out in negative forms, such as aggression, lies, arrogance, overcompensation for this feeling of lacking something that has been there all along.   If any of this sounds interesting or even an inkling rings true for you, I ask you to visit this site.  http://www.icanthebook.com.  It could just remind you of exactly what you’ve been missing for so long.

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  • http://www.coachkaren.com/ Coach Karen

    In addition to the above I would add:

    1.      
    1. Embrace failure from the perspective of learning
    and nothing else.  It’s not an
    opportunity to berate yourself.

    2.      
    2. Create strong support networks for
    yourself.  Family, friends,
    colleagues.  When we drop the ball – they
    can be there to pick it up.

    3.      
    3. Take action. 
    It’s great having a vision of success but it takes effort, practise,
    patience and more effort to get there.

    4.      
    4. Don’t rest on your laurels.  We can find ourselves in a comfort zone, we
    it’s nice, easy and then we’ll miss the opportunity to be even better.  And people will just pass us by.

     

    The other key thing to support yourself, is find what give
    you a sense of satisfaction.  It could be
    anything from, listening to music, exercising, reading, socialising and make
    sure we have enough of that on a daily basis to ensure we have enough energy to
    do the above.

  • Miss Not So Shy Anymore

    i think this was a good article, i wrote down a few of these tips in a notebook to keep in mind. i’m slowly working on building up my self-esteem and confidence and I constantly am online searching for self-help type of articles and writing down notes and tips for myself. hope that i am able to be the confident girl that all my family want to see of me ! they always tell me i should be confident and have high self esteem due to my looks and being educated, but i don’t know what the heck happened, i never had high self esteem and confidence, i was never one of these girls all stuck up on my looks, i used to be realll shy and quiet, just didnt have enough courage to speak up and let my opinion be known, but i dont want to be that shy,quiet girl anymore, im 23, job searching and also getting past a breakup… its time for me to come out of my shell and claim my awesomeness Lol

  • Virendar sharma

    i like it and it make affordable to do the work with confidence thanks for these tips

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  • http://www.achievebrilliance.com Achievebrilliance

    Great article – I would have loved it to address some of the road blocks that can stop people from doing the things that are addressed here though.

  • http://fisimba.com Fahrah

    Self-confidence is an evolving state of being. Just when you think you’ve got it in one area, the self-doubt starts to creep in when you’re challenging yourself towards something new and uncomfortable.  I like the advice you gave in this article.  It’s practical in the sense that even if one is doubtful of themselves, they can FAKE it by doing the things that you suggested and then…. viola, things start to happen and you feel more and more confident with the successes!

  • KARAN SHAH

    it is very useful to person with lack of self-confidence

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=711975178 Ben Berry

    Wow, these are all ripped from the book ‘The Magic of Thinking Big’. Nice to see someone sharing this great information. Sad to see the book’s author totally uncredited.

  • howcanibeconfident

    Check out: howcanibeconfident.com
    An incredible ebook that’s unlike any other to build confidence. Really worth checking out.

  • Ssonali1212

    after a gap of 3 years after graduation  i got admission in Msc  and now i am finding many difficulty in my studies. 

  • http://www.selfesteem-building.com Michelle Sears

    If you consistently use these 10 strategies you will build self confidence. Great article. Thanks for sharing these with the rest of us.

    • http://www.playdoughrecipe.info playdough recipe

      I totally agree! :)

  • Giannaandsons

    I have a big issue I can’t trust nobody and I’m married but I can’t even trust my husband am I not normal or what is it cause I’m beautiful and that I know but somebody help me cause its driving me crazy and I don’t know what I should do.

  • isaiah

    Everyone already has confidence they just need to look within themselves to find it. Like for example when i am flirting with a girl by myself it can be very awkward sometimes but if i’m in a group flirting with another group i’m the life of it all. So what i learned to do is always make sure i have a friend with me. 

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  • Anany83

    nice post

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  • Valleysdown7

    This is shit. This isnt confidence. This is changing yourself to fit someone else’s standards.

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  • JT

    I am writing a series of posts that discusses becoming more outgoing and self-confident.  I really like what you have to say, and feel that it goes a long way in helping people develop self-confidence.  I’d love it if you would check out my blog at http://www.online-dating-mastery.com/?p=1776 and let me know what you think.  I work as a dating coach in my normal 9-5, and find that many men suffer from a lack of self-confidence and in turn aren’t outgoing enough to attract the people they want into their lives.  It’s something that we all have to work on.  Thank you–JT  

  • Weldee

    You’re standing there, analyzing every part of the conversation… especially what you just said; you’re probably wondering how weird or “stupid” it just sounded, which just makes the next thing you’re going to say sound even more weird because it was forced by your desire to fit in. And then you ask yourself, “Fit into WHAT?”. Not only are you up in the clouds–thinking about the next thing you should say, or what the other person will think, or if it’ll sound weird, or if they’ll like you, or if you’ll impress them–you’re not really even listening (connecting) to them. You get so wrapped up in thinking about whether or not others will judge you for every move or word, that you forget that YOU are the most judgmental person on the playing field. How’s that for food for thought? 
    Now your mind is reeling and you’re trying to wrap your head around the fact that YOU are the one analyzing and judging everything around you. How do you stop… thinking? How can you just simply BE here, on earth? How long is this going to take before you forget or have to get back to reality where it becomes difficult to follow this advice for yourself? 
    STOP. THINKING.
    Seriously.

    Take an enormous breath. Hold, for 4 seconds. Now slowly release all of it–release the tension in your shoulders & neck–and keep pushing your breath out until you feel your stomach muscles tighten. 
    Repeat 2 or 3 more times, if you’d like to stay away from all of that chatter for just a little bit longer. (paragraph 1 = “chatter”)

    Nice, huh?

    Your breath, is a start. Whenever you feel that chatter coming back, just breathe, as you did ^ there. It brings you to a place where it’s JUST YOU. But in order for this to work, you have to find that place first, by breathing on your own. Funny concept, isn’t it? Everyone knows how to breathe! Wrong. Everyone knows how to chatter. Not everyone knows how to breathe. 
    Find your inner calm, by deep breathing on your own. Once you find your place, you will find that it becomes incredibly easy to go back there whenever you feel all that chatter invading your space. (Yes, invading… because it doesn’t belong) ;)

    If this doesn’t help you… you are for the universe to take. JUST KIDDING! :D 
    There are so many different ways to find your place, you just have to find that state of “trance” where it’s JUST YOU (<—repeat! Now where have you seen that before?).
    I dance. I go find rhythmic music that's got a good beat, find a large crowd, close my eyes and immerse myself in dance. I don't feel anyone else but me.
    I make time to come back to that whenever I feel "chatter" invading. I make time because it's important to me–to be able to get back to myself. 

    As with anything, you'll find it takes time to find and get to that place where it's 'feel good 24/7', but what is it those wise people always say?… "PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT!"
    Yes, at first you'll feel the chatter coming in as it normally does, but find your place. Do it for yourself if you are truly tired of it. Once you become familiar with your place, it'll be much easier to get back to it. Maybe you'll eventually be able to get back there with just a simple thought and concentration… 

    This post is for the people that are serious about getting to that place where it's JUST YOU. If you have any doubts, you're not quite ready. (But maybe you have the will to push through that doubt?) ;)

    Those who need AND want to hear this, will. And try not to get too confused by vocabulary and other words people have for this. The result is the same–that's all you need to hold on to because feeling is transcendent. Have faith and start giving yourself a little more credit :)

    BREATHE.

  • funkyie

    i hope this is gonna help me wid my problems…really liked it…some of them even matched with me for who i am..I’ll do my best/..thnk u..n thumbs uo

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  • http://twitter.com/amybarnes22 Amy Barnes

    I love gratitude as a way of building self confidence.  Love the fact that not only does the person being appreciated feel better,  so does the person giving the appreciation and even the people observing the appreciation being given feel better.
    Great tips!
    Amy

  • Simon

    Great article, I only do six of those things and feel that my confidence level is good. People who have self-esteem and confidence issues should really give this a read.

  • http://flawlessconfidence.com Martin

    Walk faster? I think that people who walk fast look nervous. IMHO if you want to appear as a confident person, you should slow down your movements (and speech). It’ll make you look more confident, since you’ll look more relaxed. All other tips are great, especially working out. I believe that changing your body is one of the best ways to change your mind. Get off your ass!

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  • lindy

    love this 

  • tristan meyer

    wow this really gave me a confidence boost just reading this

  • ADishow

    Great Article!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_KEU6Z7FYE5MO7MT2Q43OX46RZU Allaine

    Thank you.

  • Anuj

    In Some cases, children, youngster  can not express there thoughts to some one because of feeling insecure towards homeside. Because parents unable to judge what the children wants from them.
    One must praise the person in livelihood because it is the period where one can learned the most.
    One should express there views towards their elders and colleges to avoid hesitation.

  • Kara

    I already do ALL of these things and yet struggle with confidence issues.  I constantly believe that I’m incapable of anything, but I act confidently and usually people see me as one with purpose.  What’s going on?

  • Zachariah Prince08

    thanks a lot. really helped me to boost my confident

  • RAMZAN

    I think, these are the problems. I was searching in myself since my childhood.Thanks to all of you to helping me in this biggest problem in my life. I hope I”ll become confident with these important tips.Once again thanks.

  • http://www.selfconfidenceforum.com Shawna

    Creating a “personal commercial” is a great idea. I know this as your “elevator speech” and it has come in handy many times. You portray a true sense of confidence when you can give your speech with ease.

  • Saadiftikhar001

    i think most of ugly people  are less confident ……. i think participation is the major point to build confidence………

  • Tidus

    I have a present for you all:
    Charlie Chaplins Ultimate Speech
    (remake)
    He literally answers all questions to any problem in a few minutes..
    Please watch this, because I love you all.
    Made me tear up haha…

  • Amgy07

    Real nice. I walk first, maintain eye contact but always try to be behind others. This tips are practice, i will try them on me.

  • Danieltalara

    very nice tips. it help me a lot

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  • Subhankar Saha4

    I WILL LIKE  TO NEXT TIME BETTER SUGGESTION  AT ALMOST BETTER WAY .AND AND AND DAR KOH VAGAO KYUKI DAR KI PICHE MAUT HAI. CONFIDENCE KO BARAIO

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  • Bandamabel

    I just love the information and it’s real useful to me

  • Alex Guest

    I’m 12 years old almost 13 and I am not very popular in class, sometimes I’m picked on a little and the brunt of people’s jokes. I sound wierd in recordings and my photos look terrible. I want to be more confident and finally get a girlfriend, please help me.

    • http://flawlessconfidence.com Martin

      Alex, you have to realize that getting a girlfriend won’t eliminate your problems. The first thing you have to do is to get rid of your shyness. When people make jokes at you, just laugh it off and ignore them. If people can see that you’re getting stressed when they laugh at you, then they’ll continue doing it. If you let them know in some way that it doesn’t bother you, they’ll get bored.

      Take up some sport or find a passion and structure your life around it. Find something that will make you an interesting person and try to be the best in it – it’ll build your confidence. Good luck!

  • Sabreen Fathima

    to have confident you should have power in your self that “I will do it” and because of that you will think that you did

  • Jane

    These are great suggestions. Self-esteem could change in an instant. One minute you have a great social life, the next you find yourself alone most of the time. It is necessary to keep your social life and think great about your self so others can do the same. It is hard to hide when your self esteem is low. It shows in performance and in the people you push away. I am thankful for this website which made me realize that I am in control of myself esteem and it is up to me to create a change. 

  • Yogendra gurjar

    make a lot friend boys and girls . and try to spend your to much time with them thats why you can be shiless.

  • Jhiaraju

    SELF CONFIDENCE IS MEAN OF BLIND OF POOR

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  • Ceprianpaultolosa

    thank u i leaned a lot….

  • Ceprianpaultolosa

    thank u.. i learned a lot..

  • http://www.self-esteem-tips.com/ Self Esteem Tips

    I really like the simple way you characterized the self confidence states. I am a sports psychologist and recently just conducted a workshop for some athletes. Would have included some of your list in.

  • http://www.livetowincoaching.com/ Steve Werner

    All great points.

    A good road map to confidence. Now it’s up to the indivivual

    sw

  • shubham

    in my school i have to teach a topic to all my classmates
    for that i need confidence 
    these tips helped me a lot

  • alisha mughal

    hey plz help me out
     i have lack of confidence as i can not talk in front people
    i start shivering
    in class room if teacher asks me to read or says to tell related to the subject i could not even attempt to read
    i make mistakes again n again
    but when m alone or with friends so i do not face any condition like this
    in fact my friends mostly praise me
    but this situation in front teacher on any body else keep me upset
    plzzzzzz help me out

    • Crazguy3004@yahoo.co.in

      Type your comment here.10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence | PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement

      some years back i too had this problem.
      see you hav to feel or at least try to be the same way as u behave with friends..
      i mean jus dont feel u r addressing a class but addressing friends..
      (at least try to think inside u in this fashion)

      i class let me tell u all are are students…and when u make mistake n everyone laughs its not that guys n gals mocking at you…you are giving them a reason to smile….u may smile too n even laugh at your mistake….jus try once ..the moment u smile u will feel gud inside…

      accept the reading in class as challnge but try to stay light …light the same way as u r with friends…

      if u look broader way..in class u have no enemies..do u?
      so that mean all guys n gals are intrinsically hv empathy for you…realise this first…
      n dont think about mistakes…n dont evn think about speaking flourishingliy…
      1st step is to speak normally..

      3 times u speak without emotions n less glitches..4th time u will be confident..
      n remember when clss laughs at u ..u also laugh at yourself…its a virtue to spread smiles….
      change comes gradually…
      n for change as in ur case to come soon ..take up more n more reading opportunities…
      swimming could nevr be learnt on bed. :) (i framed dis last proverb jus now for u cheers!!…) 

  • SexyandInoit

    Okay, I HATE sitting in the front so…rule that one OUT!!! Anyway, I really think that it doesn’t matter what people say about me as long as I know I’m, like, totally awesomer than them. Just becasue I make a mistake doesn’t make them better than me. I know that now because…I know what I feel and who I am. They’re just jealous.

    • http://confidentman.net Graham Stoney

      What is it you hate so much about sitting in the front? Given that you have such a strong reaction, it’s likely to be particularly powerful for you. Try just moving one row forward each class until you can sit in the front without hating it.

  • sheni ladha

    THNKS

  • Someone

    When I read this i thought someone was describing me, because I have no self confidence what so ever. This is going to be very helpful.

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  • http://youcanconfidence.com ilyas

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  • Oxangelmonkey97

    i dont have self confidence because i feel that im not pretty and boys will never like me…every time i try to boost my confidence a negative insult pushes me down again! i feel sooo alone. HELP!!!

  • Hafsa Rumaan

    Hey i have a probem that i cant look other persons eyes while talking!Could anybdy help me out in this…

    • http://flawlessconfidence.com Martin K.

      Practice with random strangers on the street. Look them in the eye until you pass them. Don’t forget to smile so you won’t look like a creepy guy. Practice on a daily basis and you’ll quickly get better. There’s really no secret in this, it’s all about practice. You have to get used to it.

      • Hafsa Rumaan

        Thanx for Replying!Will Surely Give it a shot!

  • Socalaileen11

    self cnfidence? me? yeah right i have never met him

    • Jemma Smith

      If you haven’t why are you commenting

  • Jemma Smith

    My confidence was knocked by my English teacher at school.
    I need advice on how to get by confidence back
    It was knocked because of the marks I got

  • uni

    I do 7 of this things every day. I don’t do personal commercials, ’cause I’m awesome, I just wonder why people don’t notice it lol, but really I don’t need that, ’cause I already know my strengths and weaknesses. I don’t work out, ’cause I don’t care about my body being “defined” and “chiseled” all I care about is being fit enough, not to be held back and annoyed by my own weight. And well I don’t compliment other people that often, because people tend to misinterpret it, anyway… none of that works, at least not for me.

  • http://confidentman.net/ Graham Stoney

    Most of this is great stuff, but I don’t entirely agree about the walking faster point. In fact, I recommend guys walk more slowly, directly, and intentionally in my online training course. Speed can come across as nervousness. Instead, I suggest walking like you own the place, and letting other people get out of your way in crowds instead of you weaving between them. Aside from this, great advice!

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  • Dramit Fortis

    make your confidence
    1. Dress SharpAlthough clothes don’t make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don’t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. Use this to your advantage by taking care of your personal appearance. In most cases, significant improvements can be made by bathing and shaving frequently, wearing clean clothes, and being cognizant of the latest styles.This doesn’t mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. One great rule to follow is “spend twice as much, buy half as much”. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality items. In long run this decreases spending because expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than cheap clothes. Buying less also helps reduce the clutter in your closet.2. Walk FasterOne of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about herself is to examine her walk. Is it slow? tired? painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. Even if you aren’t in a hurry, you can increase your self confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important.

    3. Good PostureSimilarly, the way a person carries herself tells a story. People with slumped shoulders and lethargic movements display a lack of self confidence. They aren’t enthusiastic about what they’re doing and they don’t consider themselves important. By practicing good posture, you’ll automatically feel more confident. Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You’ll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.4. Personal CommercialOne of the best ways to build confidence is listening to a motivational speech. Unfortunately, opportunities to listen to a great speaker are few and far between. You can fill this need by creating a personal commercial. Write a 30-60 second speech that highlights your strengths and goals. Then recite it in front of the mirror aloud (or inside your head if you prefer) whenever you need a confidence boost.5. GratitudeWhen you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you can’t have it. This leads you to dwell on your weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum. You’ll be amazed how much you have going for you and motivated to take that next step towards success.6. Compliment other peopleWhen we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of praising other people. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you’ll become well liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.7. Sit in the front row

    In schools, offices, and public assemblies around the world, people constantly strive to sit at the back of the room. Most people prefer the back because they’re afraid of being noticed. This reflects a lack of self confidence. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over this irrational fear and build your self confidence. You’ll also be more visible to the important people talking from the front of the room.8. Speak upDuring group discussions many people never speak up because they’re afraid that people will judge them for saying something stupid. This fear isn’t really justified. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.9. Work outAlong the same lines as personal appearance, physical fitness has a huge effect on self confidence. If you’re out of shape, you’ll feel insecure, unattractive, and less energetic. By working out, you improve your physcial appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive. Having the discipline to work out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day.10. Focus on contributionToo often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution you’re making to the rest of the world, you won’t worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world the more you’ll be rewarded with personal 

  • Naushad Khan

    This honestly really works . Thank you very much . I was recently told that I always get rejected and this really helped boost my confidence .

  • Naushad Khan

    This honestly really works . Thank you very much . I was recently told that I always get rejected and this really helped boost my confidence .

  • Anne Lyken-Garner

    I never thought about walking fast as a way to build confidence, but I think you’ve got something there. People walking purposefully always give an air of confidence. 

  • Anne Lyken-Garner

    I’ve never thought of walking fast as a way to show confidence. But I think you’ve got something there. After all, purposeful walking people always give out an air of power and confidence. 

  • Taylorken70

    this was very helpful thanks alot.

  • Flai_uk

    thank you for writing this, i feel this will really help me :)

  • Somrita Dey

    It’s doesn’t help more any one who have not courage .must try this to improve your courage. good posture a better  point to improve our attitude.

  • Mimi

    walk faster can also be the sign of anxiety. i guess the best is to walk in a speed reaching a target while remain calm, within a nice balance.

  • Bnparagas

    hey i feel like this, i was voted a leader, well i am a transfery at this school , there was a girl who studied this school since she was young, right now she’s getting my part she always want to play as the leader, and everytime i ask her what she wanna do she always say “i don’t to you guyz i’am the leader”, well that’s my point ..is that she play my role and tell that she was not that, hehe sorry for my mistakes, how can i tell  my ideas??i’m  a bit shy cause i’m a transfery,.. xDDD

    –sorry for wrong spellings, hurryinh.. xD

  • http://www.stepupspeakout.co.uk Jon – Step Up Speak Out

    I like the take action approach to confidence these tips offer. I think it is important to start taking action instead of over thinking everything that needs doing and then not actually getting anywhere. The more action you take, the more confidence grows as you learn what tasks you actually want to do and stop wasting time on things that are unimportant.

  • Issa Ibrahim18

    If you want to get something you have to loose something, to reach your goals you have to pass alot of obstracles by knowing so nothing is imposible. i was so afraid when i started my degree program taking computer enginering but after readinng this page i am not afraiding of my studies.

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  • Gladiator

    hey um. i ben off my game. i cant walk up to my freind and without gettin mooshmouth n front of her. so i really mess up aroung others. what do?

  • Anonymous

    Personal Commercial, Gratitude and Compliment Other People top the chart!  This list will not only build self-confidence but kick up motivation as well.  Great List!  

  • Anonymous

    I think when ever one is able to understand the things that affect their self worth, they can start the journey to rebuilding their self esteem, self confidence and life. While this is not the only path, many others see this as a short term pop up feeling. However, the tips are great except for walk faster. Some people like to enjoy a refreshing, relaxing and enjoyable walk.

    Once you have a proper long term prespective of things, you will rebuild your self confidence.

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  • ThatGirl

    Anyone that’s struggling with confidence, check out my blog. It’s called BlingALife on tumblr.

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  • Megan

    This was very helpful, I’m going to print this out and stick it up in my room! Thanks:)

  • Pete

    Self-confidence requires people to be confident in themselves without the support of other people’s opinions. http://goo.gl/cjCdy

  • Will

    Fantastic help. Just fantastic.

  • Dipali-diku

    i like personnel commercial topic. it really works thanks.

  • Magda

    ok so english is my second language and i have no trouble communicating/reading/writing but the thing that really brings my confidence down is people pointing out my accent all the time. It’s like yeah I’m foreign of course I won’t have a perfect british accent (I live in England) Plus it’s especially hard seeing as there are like 15 different accents in the UK alone so it’s hard for a foreign person to get their head around it let alone try and speak like that. It really upsets me how ignorant some british people are when it comes to foreign accents they make such a big deal out of it and the number of times i’ve heard “aww you have a really cute/weird/strange accent” is just depressing. That is why I don’t like speaking in public and just don’t like talking generally. I know it’s pathetic but I’m just sick of people commenting on my accent, which is much beter than most immigrants if I can say so myself.  Yeah its not 100% british but why comment on it a million times??? I wish I could have my confidence back :(

  • Bhagwansharansingh

    i only say to thanks for this wonderfull ideas.

  • http://www.succinctsuccess.com/ Jett

    Thiis a great tip.  It is amazing how confidence links to everything else….when I am feeling more confidence I do not waste energy on being afraid. I am more productive.  I am healthier.  I have more energy.
    Thank you.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000752985191 Khimmie Japone

    its a big help for me :)) Thanks to this wonderful site :)) Now i KNow what im going to do :)) Thanks alot ..

  • Omarelkady

    this is so amazing factors really, i like it so much and i did some of it before and felt difference ,and when am stop doing that i feel not self confidance

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  • http://twitter.com/JudyHWright Judy H Wright-Auntie

    Hello from Montana,

    I am a parent and life educator and work with families to build strong, self-reliant and confident kids.  It is amazing how easy it is to tweak the words that are spoken to either heal or hurt the confidence and spirit of a child.

    You are invited to claim your free eBook on the wise use of encouraging words at http://www.useencouragingwords.com

    You will be so glad you did.

    Judy H Wright aka Auntie Artichoke
    Speaker and Author

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_T7N7XHAJQIVGA3JDI4SP3OF73U Eric

    Great blog. visit http://selfconfidence1.info for more on self confidence

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_T7N7XHAJQIVGA3JDI4SP3OF73U Eric

    Great blog. visit http://selfconfidence1.info for more on self confidence

  • Merrylmorales

    I miss this bonding moments with my friends. I want to bring back this moment:)

  • Merrylmorales

    I miss this bonding moments with my friends. I want to bring back this moment:)
    I am glad that you are my batchmates!

  • Pantea

    I like it, it was amazing! Thanks a lot.

  • Arpita sharma

    wow………..it was awesome!! i m impressed

  • Danish Hashmi

    leave to think  about the things,this will the cause to do backward u. u r a great person ,and u have a power by which u can do every thing what u want but u have only get one thing that is a confidence,so friend leave all thinking on its way and try to  make ur own way.

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  • Suhanichanda

    Hi I like these all 10 ways very much.I think if anyone follow it then he/she build their confidence much.i’ll also follow it. : )                                                                                        

  • prashant

    hi
    I am prashant and my problem is that i feel so low about myself. i donnt feel that i m good enough.
    i have good school percentage …but who now cares about school percentage …so i dont feel great about getting 85 percent or around.

    i am unable to speak properly and impressively and convincingly.

    my tone show my low cofidence.

    when i talk i could not make my office seniors impressed.

    i feel i m a top guy…but could nevr get sort of appreciation …and even avg ppl around me get appreciated well by family friend and bosses.

    i feel im not very lucky and i work very hard…on top of it when ppl say me ‘dear you r lucky to have this or hv that’ i feel annoyed…

    since my my childhood i have never done any mischief…
    n now i hate like hell…y i didnt do…

    i m a gentle guy…but 3 yrs ago my gf left me for a guy who was collge goon…n sort of macho for her..though she regrets her decision but i sort of fell in my own eyes for not not beating that guy when he used to beat her…n i m not acting a macho…

    even my mothr praises my youngr brothr n other neighbor guys who punch wrong doers instead of negotioating…..

    i feel so very very low about it also…that being of good physique i hv nevr punched anyone but shown care…

    probably for this reason i dont want 2 get married…

    i m fear ful of being a failure..

    since i cud do no wrong to anyone ppl dont take my warnings wid attention…

    i need someone or some  pragmatic advice to be out of all this..

    things which i work hard and achieve other ppl n guys who r more arrogant than i am gain that wid pleasure ….

    i m not happy with being me n my life…
    i hv not enjoyed it i think…i hv just studied n studied…

  • Kvijayanand129

    nice points 

  • Dondinesh768

    really good for motivate self confidence.

  • Hamidrehman

    icant answer my teacher because i am too afraid.and i know the answer everytime be confidence man :(

  • Hamidrehman

    i am no body man i hate my self

  • Megan Feur

    that is a like

  • Rheaglyvilla

    tnx 4 ths advice, i really had learned a lot… hopefully, i can now manage myself to become confident :)

  • Saw-long

    amazing statement

  • Sreevidhukanth

    very good

  • Seemee590

    handsome is he hansome who does

  • Seemee590

    ALWAYS HOPE FOR THE BEST BUT READY FOR THE WORST TOO.

  • Pratyushsingh

    good job  yo
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

  • Chris C.

    I’d have to disagree with the walking fast part. Yeah it can show other people that you have a lot of energy but it probably won’t do much in terms of giving you confidence. I noticed those who walk a bit slower, have good posture and have more calculated movements to have more confidence. They’re calm and collected, as opposed to those who are always trying to get to the next place anxious and have trouble pulling themselves together. Here’s a useful link I found on overcoming shyness http://surfsocialwaves.com/blog/overcome-shyness

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/H7QZDI7BLEJYJKR2US62IMAH3E xpez

    ok reciting something in the mirror looks like an SNL spoof.

  • http://party-favors-ideas.com/ Myrna Ganda

    I
    never thought about these  as building self-confidence, but I do
    several of them because they make me feel good. I walk fairly fast,
    stand straight, and speak up. I sit in front at meetings so I can hear
    better!  This makes it easier to speak out.
    Gratitude: it’s just good to be aware of what you can  feel grateful
    for. I am grateful for living in Australia, a good place to be (just
    think, I could have been born in a poor African village). I am thankful
    for the trees around me, a roof (paid for) over my head, good food to
    eat, a comfortable bed to sleep in. Music to listen to, a gorgeous
    grandchild, the list goes on.  Not much money, but enough to get by. We
    can all find something we are grateful for – it beats thinking about all
    those things you DON’T have! http://goo.gl/IvvgN

  • Carrisa

    This tips seem so small but make a HUGE difference. I learned these in a class my Freshman year of college and have been practicing them through out my college career and they have made a huge impact on my self confidence and I am truly 100x more confident now four years later after following tips similar to the ones you posted than I was entering my first day of college.

    These have helped me and I hope others practice these tips and allow them to help them increase their self confidence.

  • Troubled student

    hello I am an adolescent and currently I read in 10th grade O’levels. I have a deep and very emotional problem which I think nobody seems to understand or even try to understand. They think I am an actress in a drama but here I am hoping for a positive view from you. I have a lack of self-confidence, since I have came in o levels my grades have fallen and I blame myself to such instincts that I dont even want to study but the fear of looking at my parents pleading infront of the teachers disgusts me yet whenever I try to work hard I always fail……please help me I would be very grateful if you reply to my comment and I appreciate the page you made. 

  • nilesh

    Thanks a lot this will helpful for me,  for my whole life. it will give shine to me in the way of success  

  • http://www.clarendonconsulting.com/ Ken

    Building self-confidence can be some times not as easy, because the problem comes from within. The most important thing is our perception of ourselves, the way we look, feel and think of ourselves.  We have to learn to be caring, loving, and understanding with our own person. In my website I assist you to appreciate all that you are and I guarantee I’ll help you to get out the most out of you.

  • Ecc

    I really don’t have any confidence when giving an opinion or presenting something in front of our class. I’m afraid if I will wrong and all the classmates will laugh at me, and underestimate myself.. :( I know, I’m not good like them all. 

  • Christine

    This was very informative. My favorite point was the last one. I agree that we need to focus less on ourselves and more on the other person. If we’re too focused on ourselves then we’re always worried about what we look like instead of focusing on the other person. If we are truly interested and focused on the other person and really engage in the conversation then we focus on our insecurities less.

    Visit my blog here: http://www.christineadnani.com/

  • Ciara

    hii I don’t have any confidence, I’m a freshman in college and I go to parties with my roommates and they all have guys dancing with them… and none ever on me .. they tell me I’m pretty but obviously not. please help me I have thought some pretty depressing thoughts and need confidence asap.

  • http://twitter.com/marissaomo marissa nider

    this what i need a good motivation ,,,

    http://scrubsmed4u.webs.com/index.htm

  • http://twitter.com/marissaomo marissa nider

    I like this ,, really a good motivation
     http://www.scrubsmed4u.com/

  • Silviogigante

    what a load of crap…. I know people who resemble all of these qualities and they are the most disliked people  within any setting. … For sure people suck up to them … but when their backs are turned they diss them down…. The key to self confidence is to play the game and mirror other people… if you stand out … people will dislike you!… individuality is the key and to respect everyones individuality is a demonstration of your own self confidence… just because you do not shout the loudest … does not mean you are the weakest!

    Popularity breeds contempt … ! 

  • Haashim06

    what is the steeps that i can  use to maketo confedence  my self

    and slso iam not condfenance my whrite

    what i can make all that prolems

     

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  • Zarathoustra

    Self-esteem is about how a person values themselves … just perception of what we are httpwww.clarendonconsulting.comself-esteem

  • Zarathoustra

    Self-esteem is about how a person values themselves … just perception of what we are  …
    http://www.clarendonconsulting.com

  • Dkrajput01

    This are the best ways to boost confidence…. I will surely try it…

  • Anonymous

    focus on dressing really helps a lot to get confidence.http://perthwebsitebuilders.com.au/

  • Dontbenosy

    that is not actully what i wanted! :-/

  • Charlotte

    Everytime, when my teacher choose me to give an opinion ’bout something, I will automatically blurred and stuck! I already got the point but, I was lack of confidence to do so. :’( And yet, when there’s a class presentation in front of my classmates, I really don’t have that strong self-confidence to talk. I afraid if they’ll laugh at me and so on. It’s really bad! I desperately need your advice guys. Help me to enhance my self-confidence..  

    • hidden

      when u give presentation in class ,practice in front of mirror honestly and loudly and see the weak points . and in class when u start ur presentation u think all listeners are nill ,they do not know about the topic and just present in front of them confidently…………….

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  • Marvzkie_sagez

    Thanks for this…

  • Zarathoustra

    Do you feel you deserve happiness? Self-esteem is all about valuing yourself, so find out how to improve it ! We can halp you 

  • Zarathoustra

    Do you feel you deserve happiness? Self-esteem is all about valuing yourself, so find out how to improve it ! We can halp you 

  • Rana Akshaya

    Thanks for this
    From selfesteemcontrol.blogspot.com

  • Rana Akshaya

    Thanks for this
    From selfesteemcontrol.blogspot.com

  • Rana Akshaya

    Pretty much things I have got here about how to have self confidence Thanks for your suggestions here.

  • Rana Akshaya

    Pretty much things I have got here about how to have self confidence Thanks for your suggestions here.

  • James

    I love number 9! People need to understand the knock on effect that working out has. It boosts your self confidence in so many other ways. Starting your day with a decent workout gets you so pumped to continue achieving tasks throughout the day. 

    Great List!

    http://lifeandmind.net

  • Arielle

    i dont think i will do well for my talent show, but since i started doing this, it helped my so much! 

  • guest

    I am from the united states and when a foreign person talks to me I  have never assumed they were stupid or sounded stupid if they didnt speak correctly, I actually think they are smart because not only do they know thier language but they know english too and most americans only speak one language. 

  • Dassdsds

    yep

  • Sameer_alagizy

    I’d like to call .any one here?

  • http://www.highertrustmarketing.com/blog/ Jeff smith

    Good advice, in my experience working with entrepreneurs 99% of self confidence starts by eliminating the negative self-talk that is going on (often without people really knowing about it) and replacing that with positive self images and emotions…from there your mind changes, your image changes, your behavior changes and your results almost automatically begin to change. 

  • Jane Doe

    I can’t help feeling that out of the 10 points you make, 3 are relatively good advice while the rest are either comments on how you should be perceived by others to gain confidence, or are just pure nonsense (listen to motivational speakers?). I don’t think focusing on what others see and think of me will give me better confidence, and by acting the part “to look important”. 

    Did I get it right that you advise people to buy fashionable, expensive clothes so they feel confident? If anything, fashion is one of the major reasons why people suffer from lack of confidence and poor self-esteem, not to mention how much a poor financial situation can impact a person’s state of mind (speaking here with much experience).

    All-in-all, awful advice.

  • http://www.rackmountsales.com/Cat5_KVM_Switches_s/56.htm KVM Switch

    Learn to catch yourself every single time you tell yourself that you can’t
    have, won’t get or aren’t good enough to get what you want.

     

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  • T apas Mahakhud

    hi.. sir  , i always afraid of being noticed …

  • Fardus

    I think these 10 steps are very useful and logic let us try digest and adopt it and hope changes will appear soon. thank

  • http://www.ramkicyfrowe.com/ Ramki Cyfrowe

    I m agree with you. Good point of view. We need informations like this one

  • Gloria Caldwell

    I like this article.

  • glanko

    a good way to feel confident about your clothes is to keep them organised into catagories. I recently sepererated my t-shirts into a drawer of sports t-shirts for when i’m exercising and a drawer for vintage style for going out socially. I hang my smart clothes in my wardrobe and clothes that aren’t smart get folded. and dont forget getting rid of old clothes you dont like is just as rewarding as buying new ones :)

  • Spartacus

    Simple and nice, no need for some mickey mouse psychology pep talk

  • Niceshop3

    Thank you for this article. That’s all I can say. You most definitely have made this blog into something special. You clearly know what you are doing, you’ve covered so many bases.Thanks!
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  • Luke

    Brilliant.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Neelam-Sharma/100001552729801 Neelam Sharma

    good nice thoughts telling here for improving self confidence…………….

  • hidden

    i can’t talk with boys .i tried to overcome this many times but when i come to talk any boy i feel shy………sooo plz help me

  • Dipo-easy

    Though this was posted 4years ago i must say its really some good stuff.

  • Jaideepsinghroha

    Hi 

    This is Jaideep from Delhi .It is really informative and helping to boost up confidence level . I feel very energetic after reading these steps. 

    Thank a lot . 

  • Jaideepsinghroha

    Hi 

    This is Jaideep from Delhi .It is really informative and helping to boost up confidence level . I feel very energetic after reading these steps. 

    Thank a lot . 

  • Mark Henrry

    Sometimes I just think that people write and don’t really have much to say. Not so here. You definitely have something to say and you say it with style, my man! You sure do have an interesting way of drawing people in  your words.
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  • Mark Henrry

    “Sometimes I just think that people write and don’t really have much to say. Not so here. You definitely have something to say and you say it with style, my man! You sure do have an interesting way of drawing people in  your words.

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  • Mark Henrry

    “Sometimes I just think that people write and don’t really have much to say. Not so here. You definitely have something to say and you say it with style, my man! You sure do have an interesting way of drawing people in  your words.

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  • http://profile.yahoo.com/HF4HPDIGQPTK53MG6VDB7OLYGM Charlotte

     These are some great techniques to help improve self confidence! I am always blaming everything for myself that goes wrong, I just have a  hard time ignoring my inner critic and being myself. I want to be a strong, confident woman, so I have found http://onlineceucredit.com/edu/social-work-ceus-sea to be helpful in giving me steps to feel better about myself and help me to not constantly compare myself to everyone else. Definitely recommend taking a look!

  • Ayush Bhat

    I need some advice. I am having this sort of problem where, most of the time i am not making sense to what i am saying and this is really bugging me. With this i start to lose self confidence in myself, as I think that people will stop communicating with me. =) 

  • urekha

    its good tell me some more tips 2 get more confidenc

  • sasmita paikaray

    Yaa oviously all time focus not of own ,focusing others and society ,and doing something other its not feel happy bt also recognise by others

  • Annabelle

    I find it really hard to contribute to class discussions in my philosophy class at school, i think i am quite a philosophical and thoughtful person and i always have an opinion i just for some reason get really scared of having my say. It’s probably because i am at the side and back of the class, i don’t know many of the people in my class and if i talk then they all look at me and i think they are judging me and my opinion. I keep telling my self to just throw my hand up grin and bare it but i still can’t seem to do it :/  

  • Annabelle

    I find it really hard to contribute to class discussions in my philosophy class at school, i think i am quite a philosophical and thoughtful person and i always have an opinion i just for some reason get really scared of having my say. It’s probably because i am at the side and back of the class, i don’t know many of the people in my class and if i talk then they all look at me and i think they are judging me and my opinion. I keep telling my self to just throw my hand up grin and bare it but i still can’t seem to do it :/  

  • Annabelle

    I find it really hard to contribute to class discussions in my philosophy class at school, i think i am quite a philosophical and thoughtful person and i always have an opinion i just for some reason get really scared of having my say. It’s probably because i am at the side and back of the class, i don’t know many of the people in my class and if i talk then they all look at me and i think they are judging me and my opinion. I keep telling my self to just throw my hand up grin and bare it but i still can’t seem to do it :/  

  • Annabelle

    I find it really hard to contribute to class discussions in my philosophy class at school, i think i am quite a philosophical and thoughtful person and i always have an opinion i just for some reason get really scared of having my say. It’s probably because i am at the side and back of the class, i don’t know many of the people in my class and if i talk then they all look at me and i think they are judging me and my opinion. I keep telling my self to just throw my hand up grin and bare it but i still can’t seem to do it :/  

  • Annabelle

    I find it really hard to contribute to class discussions in my philosophy class at school, i think i am quite a philosophical and thoughtful person and i always have an opinion i just for some reason get really scared of having my say. It’s probably because i am at the side and back of the class, i don’t know many of the people in my class and if i talk then they all look at me and i think they are judging me and my opinion. I keep telling my self to just throw my hand up grin and bare it but i still can’t seem to do it :/  

  • Annabelle

    I find it really hard to contribute to class discussions in my philosophy class at school, i think i am quite a philosophical and thoughtful person and i always have an opinion i just for some reason get really scared of having my say. It’s probably because i am at the side and back of the class, i don’t know many of the people in my class and if i talk then they all look at me and i think they are judging me and my opinion. I keep telling my self to just throw my hand up grin and bare it but i still can’t seem to do it :/  

  • Annabelle

    I find it really hard to contribute to class discussions in my philosophy class at school, i think i am quite a philosophical and thoughtful person and i always have an opinion i just for some reason get really scared of having my say. It’s probably because i am at the side and back of the class, i don’t know many of the people in my class and if i talk then they all look at me and i think they are judging me and my opinion. I keep telling my self to just throw my hand up grin and bare it but i still can’t seem to do it :/  

  • Annabelle

    I find it really hard to contribute to class discussions in my philosophy class at school, i think i am quite a philosophical and thoughtful person and i always have an opinion i just for some reason get really scared of having my say. It’s probably because i am at the side and back of the class, i don’t know many of the people in my class and if i talk then they all look at me and i think they are judging me and my opinion. I keep telling my self to just throw my hand up grin and bare it but i still can’t seem to do it :/  

  • Annabelle

    I find it really hard to contribute to class discussions in my philosophy class at school, i think i am quite a philosophical and thoughtful person and i always have an opinion i just for some reason get really scared of having my say. It’s probably because i am at the side and back of the class, i don’t know many of the people in my class and if i talk then they all look at me and i think they are judging me and my opinion. I keep telling my self to just throw my hand up grin and bare it but i still can’t seem to do it :/  

  • Annabelle

    I find it really hard to contribute to class discussions in my philosophy class at school, i think i am quite a philosophical and thoughtful person and i always have an opinion i just for some reason get really scared of having my say. It’s probably because i am at the side and back of the class, i don’t know many of the people in my class and if i talk then they all look at me and i think they are judging me and my opinion. I keep telling my self to just throw my hand up grin and bare it but i still can’t seem to do it :/  

  • Annabelle

    I find it really hard to contribute to class discussions in my philosophy class at school, i think i am quite a philosophical and thoughtful person and i always have an opinion i just for some reason get really scared of having my say. It’s probably because i am at the side and back of the class, i don’t know many of the people in my class and if i talk then they all look at me and i think they are judging me and my opinion. I keep telling my self to just throw my hand up grin and bare it but i still can’t seem to do it :/  

  • Annabelle

    I find it really hard to contribute to class discussions in my philosophy class at school, i think i am quite a philosophical and thoughtful person and i always have an opinion i just for some reason get really scared of having my say. It’s probably because i am at the side and back of the class, i don’t know many of the people in my class and if i talk then they all look at me and i think they are judging me and my opinion. I keep telling my self to just throw my hand up grin and bare it but i still can’t seem to do it :/  

  • Annabelle

    I find it really hard to contribute to class discussions in my philosophy class at school, i think i am quite a philosophical and thoughtful person and i always have an opinion i just for some reason get really scared of having my say. It’s probably because i am at the side and back of the class, i don’t know many of the people in my class and if i talk then they all look at me and i think they are judging me and my opinion. I keep telling my self to just throw my hand up grin and bare it but i still can’t seem to do it :/  

  • Annabelle

    I find it really hard to contribute to class discussions in my philosophy class at school, i think i am quite a philosophical and thoughtful person and i always have an opinion i just for some reason get really scared of having my say. It’s probably because i am at the side and back of the class, i don’t know many of the people in my class and if i talk then they all look at me and i think they are judging me and my opinion. I keep telling my self to just throw my hand up grin and bare it but i still can’t seem to do it :/  

  • Annabelle

    I find it really hard to contribute to class discussions in my philosophy class at school, i think i am quite a philosophical and thoughtful person and i always have an opinion i just for some reason get really scared of having my say. It’s probably because i am at the side and back of the class, i don’t know many of the people in my class and if i talk then they all look at me and i think they are judging me and my opinion. I keep telling my self to just throw my hand up grin and bare it but i still can’t seem to do it :/  

  • Kachingweshaun

    i regard this as very apt advice thank you will definitely practice this because i wany to be a Leader in life..cheers

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  • Dbalbes

    thank you very much for the tips”you give me”’god bless you all

  • http://tipstimes.com/ TipsTimes.Com

    nice post, it’s really boost my confident

  • Guest

    i am still trying to work on getting confident but i feel i will get there one day :)

  • Ushna

    I can’t be confident. today I needed to do a speech and I was so scared and I couldn’t 
    look to the audience. But I would keep on trying……………. :D

  • Naveed Anjum

    its really good information for me and other depress people which are infacted by confidance.

  • http://twitter.com/Julie_eddie ?

    “Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip”?

    Is that really something people have to make conscious efforts not to do?! lol. That’s depressing.

  • Saloni6jain

    Vry vry vry vry helpful  tips!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D Thxxxxxxxxxxxxx!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Saloni6jain

    Vry vry vry vry helpful  tips!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D Thxxxxxxxxxxxxx!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • neha

    thanx.. these are really inspiring.. :)

  • Kshotty

    i want a blow job

  • Guest

    what do i do about this?
    any advice?

  • Guest

    Won’t be fully confident unless i have this guy in my life being closer to me instead of ignoring me a lot. we used to be closer but now it seems like we aren’t so close. i dont know what to do. i wanna see him but he doesn’t seem to really respond to me when i try to arrange to see him now. he hasn’t spoke to me for more than a week. :(

  • Guest

    i just want him to speak to me and tell me the truth instead of being so secretive.

  • Kyla

    People always tell me how pretty I am, and sometimes I feel beautiful, but lately I have no confidence. Guys wanna hang out with me and im so scared there not gonna like me , and theyll think im ugly even tho theyve seen me before? And I wont hang out with them because of it… I feel like sometimes I come across mean or stuck up, but im really not I’m just so insecure… No ones gonna wanna be with someone like me!

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002825472351 Mathew Coyne

    I have a really bad, big problem about socializing with anybody in school, especially girls , i sit in the front, i dress sharp, and etc; I don’t know what the real problem it’s just so confusing right now. I need advice.

  • http://www.scareaday.com/ Ks1233

    I have recently been doing things that scare me or bring me out of my comfort zone. I find when I push myself to do something, the results are usually positive. If you want to learn more visit http://www.scareaday.com.

  • Farhinfarheen

    Awesome answer thanksssssssssssss

  • Skye

    that helped 0….

  • Rehamgamal61

    what’s more important is to believe that you have good qualities and you can smash the world around you :)

  • Natasha

    Nice article !! My biggest problem was lack of gratitude.. This aspect never ever struck my mind. In the recent past I have been so low on self-confidence and have not been myself. The reason is because I could focus only on my weaknesses. I have not thought about all the wonderful things in my life. Thinking about this now makes me feel better. Also, I always felt I was vulnerable and as a self-protecting mechanism I started looking out for the negatives in the people I meet. Eventually I guess I ended up identifying all the negatives in me – makes me feel like a loser .. 

  • http://twitter.com/peteranthonygor peter anthony-gord

    extremely, open minded and forthcoming , however it is important that we keep sight of who we are and where we were brought up as a child ! none the less still an eye opener and some very positive remarks…… good stuff!

  • Sharmijeyakumar

    really awesome tips…hope i ll destroy my fear and improve my positive thoughts

  • mekdes

    mekdes

  • Jazmyn Smith752

    I thank you so much for this exelent advice!!!!

  • http://twitter.com/TracyDempsey Tracy Dempsey

    I – mostly – wholeheartedly concur! Except for the ‘walking fast’; sometimes this betrays nervousness or a desire to get quickly to where you’re going to get out of sight. Plus, you can be feeling relaxed and confident – confidently strolling along!

    I’d replace that one with ‘Get comfortable with saying “I don’t know, but I’ll find out for you” ‘ – I’m a confidence coach and the most frequent cause of a lack of confidence I hear is fear of looking ignorant – it’s okay not to know everything; just believe you’ll be able to find out! (I wrote more about that here: http://soulambition.co.uk/blog/2010/10/knowledge-is-confidence/)Great post!

  • myrene

    i have read it…..

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  • Amorsaljic

    You guys needa open your fucking head for real

  • Bilal ahmed

    thanx

  • http://spiritualseduction.com/ Erika Awakening

    Well, I like to wear pajamas, and I experience feelings of self-confidence wearing my pajamas because I don’t really care what anyone thinks of it.  But they are cozy, wonderful, feminine pajamas, and they do feel good.  

    I agree with you that gratitude, appreciation, and contribution are all wonderful ways to feel confident.  And it has been my experience that when people start being guided by the quiet Voice within themselves, instead of by other people’s opinions, that their feelings of trust, confidence, and faith skyrocket.  

    It’s an important topic, as so many people seem to be so timid about living the life they truly want, and it all begins with confidence.  Thanks for the article :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002786119069 Rabab Mohamed

    really important one and AMAZING too!!!!

  • Vishal_5522

    yes someting that i despertily neede… i have been feeling so low,for a very long time,, 

  • Jrgterrazas

    this is some real, practical advice that seems to be easy to follow. I might give it a try.

  • ChangedByDefault

    I think that it’s more important to build confidence from your heart and mind, that it’s the love you have and the knowledge you possess is what matters the most. No matter what etiquette you have practiced or fancy clothes you wear, if you’re psyche is conflicted.

  • Djindahizouse

    Just be yourself, because you are amazing! =)

  • Alex

    there is this girl i love, and everyone tells me that i have a really good chance with her but my mind tells me that she’ll never love a loser like me, what cann i do to improve this

  • Digvijay

    It’s very great to see the tips here…….coz sometimes u have the qualities but u still feel insecure…….the points mentioned here r actually for normal confidence building..i was lacking up with one point..and will overcome it for sure..thanks for the tips…

  • Digvijay

    It’s very great to see the tips here…….coz sometimes u have the qualities but u still feel insecure…….the points mentioned here r actually for normal confidence building..i was lacking up with one point..and will overcome it for sure..thanks for the tips…

  • Chris R.

    I don’t know if walking faster is always good…. On the  other hand, I agree that people shouldn’t be moping around either. I personally find it best to walk at a relaxed pace where you sync up your breathing to your steps, but not to the point where it is unnatural like you’re practicing some dance moves. If you’re walking to some place you need to be, give yourself more than enough time. Many times a rushed walk will put strain on both the body and mind. Just my 2 cents.

  • Leesaanrobertson

    I like this…And the most important thing for me is building my self confidence, and i know
    this website will help me. 

  • Ahmad

    these are good practices every single one had all of these in small amount, try to practice it for longer period 

  • Ahmad

    these are good practices every single one had all of these in small amount, try to practice it for longer period 

  • Richie Saunders

    Another excellent article, confidence is rooted to our internal perception of ourselves and so often governed by external influences. I think this article hits the nail on the proverbial head. Excellent work

    Regards,
    Richard
    liberateconsultants.com

  • Mimo-_-2012

    i love girls and i …
    i am a bisnes man in police  station
    i want to maried
    and i want from a girl to mary me

  • Laurie Ludlow

    People who have a serious problem with a lack of self confidence will find this article mostly useless. Those people need to: a) Go into themselves and figure out what exactly it is that makes them feel consistent shame; b) they must find a way to deconstruct this complex; c) they must rigorously  confront their feeling of a lack of self work, every day, and affirm that their feeling sof shame are invalid (if you just can’t see past, say, the fact that you’re overweight, you must change what you can’t see past, so you must lose weight); d) they must EXPERIENCE life while doing all this (it will never get better until you desensitize yourself to the universal possibility of social rejection, and this must be done through real experience as a person who is all the while trying to be their own best friend); e) lastly, and most importantly, you have to want with a burning desire to get better, and as result not give up, keep applying your mind to the task of fixing your problems, all the while being highly aware of where you stand with yourself.

    <3

  • http://selfesteemcontrol.blogspot.com/ Rana Akshaya

    Self esteem or Personality is a great  concern in every sphere of life. As you have discussed some of the best topics for energizing the personality, some exemplary issues if added would enhance the story.
    Long term Personality development  can be achieved by adopting all the steps with full self confidence.
    In the portal http://selfesteemcontrol.blogspot.com     some basic as well as some tested facts about personality development, healthcare relating to personality and also some of  crucial issues has been added.
    This issue is a very alarming now a days. If properly handled can a boon for mankind.

  • Cheekybennett

    I have no confidence to talk to men so ive been single for a long time.

    Even though i had feelings for this guy and i thought it was going somewhere it dint and that has bought my confidence down.

    Because i still love him and hes being like nasty to me my confidence has lowered even more.

  • Cheekybennett

    hes like driving me insane.

    i keep trynna flirt with other guys but all the time im thinking of him

  • http://evolution-hypnotherapy.com/hypnotherapist-warrington/ Chris

    I agree with some of the comments that confidence, real confidence comes from within and not just the mask that we present to people. These tips are great to help someone feel better about themselves which certainly will help, however the underlying issues behind the lack of confidence needs to be identified and worked on. Challenging the way we perceive ourselves and the way others see us. I couldn’t care less what other people think of me and this helps me be more self confident and more self awa