Self Improvement

10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence

Self confidence is the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared out of your wits. Your perception of yourself has an enormous impact on how others perceive you. Perception is reality — the more self confidence you have, the more likely it is you’ll succeed.

Although many of the factors affecting self confidence are beyond your control, there are a number of things you can consciously do to build self confidence. By using these 10 strategies you can get the mental edge you need to reach your potential.

Build Self Confidence

1. Dress Sharp

Although clothes don’t make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don’t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. Use this to your advantage by taking care of your personal appearance. In most cases, significant improvements can be made by bathing and shaving frequently, wearing clean clothes, and being cognizant of the latest styles.

This doesn’t mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. One great rule to follow is “spend twice as much, buy half as much”. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality items. In long run this decreases spending because expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than cheap clothes. Buying less also helps reduce the clutter in your closet.

2. Walk Faster

One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about herself is to examine her walk. Is it slow? tired? painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. Even if you aren’t in a hurry, you can increase your self confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important.

3. Good Posture

Similarly, the way a person carries herself tells a story. People with slumped shoulders and lethargic movements display a lack of self confidence. They aren’t enthusiastic about what they’re doing and they don’t consider themselves important. By practicing good posture, you’ll automatically feel more confident. Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You’ll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.

4. Personal Commercial

One of the best ways to build confidence is listening to a motivational speech. Unfortunately, opportunities to listen to a great speaker are few and far between. You can fill this need by creating a personal commercial. Write a 30-60 second speech that highlights your strengths and goals. Then recite it in front of the mirror aloud (or inside your head if you prefer) whenever you need a confidence boost.

5. Gratitude

When you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you can’t have it. This leads you to dwell on your weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum. You’ll be amazed how much you have going for you and motivated to take that next step towards success.

6. Compliment other people

When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of praising other people. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you’ll become well liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.

7. Sit in the front row

In schools, offices, and public assemblies around the world, people constantly strive to sit at the back of the room. Most people prefer the back because they’re afraid of being noticed. This reflects a lack of self confidence. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over this irrational fear and build your self confidence. You’ll also be more visible to the important people talking from the front of the room.

8. Speak up

During group discussions many people never speak up because they’re afraid that people will judge them for saying something stupid. This fear isn’t really justified. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.

9. Work out

Along the same lines as personal appearance, physical fitness has a huge effect on self confidence. If you’re out of shape, you’ll feel insecure, unattractive, and less energetic. By working out, you improve your physcial appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive. Having the discipline to work out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day.

10. Focus on contribution

Too often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution you’re making to the rest of the world, you won’t worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world the more you’ll be rewarded with personal success and recognition.

Related Articles:

How To Increase Self Discipline

How To Motivate Yourself

1,834 Responses to 10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence

  1. Chris says:

    I think the biggest distinction is between temporary psych-up self-confidence and stable, longterm confidence.

    The first can be manipulated somewhat by listening to driving music or mental techniques or a recent success whatnot, but the feeling will always go away.

    Longterm self-confidence is more of a logical assessment of your abilities rather than a charged up emotional feeling. You just ‘know’ you have a certain value. You raise that by having real accomplishments and strengths, and by getting enough external feedback from the outside world that your positive self-assessment becomes another fact.

  2. Armand says:

    I totally agree with Chris here. Anyhow, whether one’s self confidence is temporary or longterm, it’s still a very good thing to have!

  3. John Wesley says:

    Yes, he definitely has a point. But I also think that if you regularly do things that build self confidence (even if it is temporary) that confidence boost will lead to concrete success and reinforce your self confidence even more.

    There is no quick fix here, but by controlling your behavior I think a permanent improvement is possible.

  4. daniel says:

    correct me if im wrong but i believe that if someone walks at a normal pace looking aroung not in a rush, at least it appears to me that he is more confident than someone who walks faster

  5. Novous says:

    Walking faster will not make you “more confident.” It’s the opposite. Walking fast makes you seem like you have obligations, for which people will be displeased with you if you’re late. As if they’ll downright leave you if you’re late. However, walking slow is more confidence thing. It says, “I don’t need to get their fast because people will wait on me.”

  6. Dressing sharp always works for me. I used to take exams in slacks and nice shirt!

  7. Illusionist says:

    This desire to have self confidence is the bane of American society. The fact that people haven’t caught on to this is pretty sad. The fact that there are still lists of 10 ways to get more confident is even more sad.

    In my opinion, coming to peace with oneself, the role you occupy in your own life is the key to having ‘confidence’. And even then, it is a form of confidence that is diametrically opposed to the one presented here.

    Also, while being good at something sure does give you confidence, it also has the caveat of making everyone want to be the best.

    I feel cheap to cite a book that’s been written over 3000 years ago (but people should read the Tao at least once in their lifetimes): “Oversharpen a knife and it will dull quickly”.

    The point being that being bigger, better, faster, more is never going to lead you to ‘happiness’ until you learn to be at peace with yourself. To not equate your worth as a human to your worth to a corporation.

  8. TonNet says:

    I’ve already been practicing but comes just in hand for a everyday re-energizing method. Thanks.

  9. Phillydawg says:

    Great comment Illusionist. Face it folks. You’re average. Don’t worry about it so much. It’s hilarious to see the latest kids coming into the workforce. They’re so confident and full of self-worth. They all think everything revolves around them because for some reason in the good ol’ US of A, the whole “you’re special and above average” BS has been pushed so hard in recent years. Get over it kids. You’re not that great.

  10. CJ says:

    10 Ways to Instantly Give Bad Advice. Most of these points just have to do with how other people view you. If you need people thinking you’re important to feel confident you’re deceiving yourself.

    I’d say confidence is being happy with whatever you do and whatever happens. Self-image based on how you stand against other people is flawed.

    As long as you’re alive you can think anything you want.

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  12. Tim Smith says:

    This is a silly article, it’s a bunch of techniques that are forced into a ‘boost your self confidence’ context which makes sense … but really doesn’t work that great.
    For instance, you could easily say that many confident people do not need to dress sharply because they rate themselves high anyway … that they are so confident they do not need the fab clothes to get things done. They can walk slowly because they are relaxed .. they are relaxed because they are confident that they’ll do things well. Walking fast could be a stress thing. Many performers who ooze confidence don’t rush.
    So yeah, I’d agree with a bit of the advice on this in a loose way. But other than that, it’s a bunch of baloney! Confidence comes from within, and that manifests itself in various ways … some confident people walk slow, some fast … some dress sharp, some don’t. some work out, some are full of lard.
    So yes. I wouldn’t take this article seriously. Nice try tho.

  13. Chris says:

    Thoughts on other comments:

    -In more naive self-help writing it’s not uncommon to see confidence talked about as a kind of cure-all (not saying this article is naive, making a general comment). The attitude is, “Don’t worry about specific problem X, just be more confident and everything will fall into place”. Not only is “Just be confident” easier said than done, confidence isn’t a magic bullet. You may still need to learn and hone specific skills or change the way you think. Not all the solutions spring out of high confidence.

    -My last comment wasn’t an opinion on the original article either way, just throwing my thoughts into the mix. Some of the ideas are definitely good (e.g., dressing better, good posture – genuine improvements to yourself that will boost long and short term confidence). Some may work differently for some people than others (I personally feel more confident if I walk slowly. For me fast = stressed, nervous, and out of control).

  14. Monjay S. says:

    I’m not so keen on this list of ways, they seem as materialistic and republished.

    Self confidence has several components. First I feel confident because of how I manage myself. Centering my perception, feelings and reactions – i.e. seeing all possible sides to a problem, avoiding blaming my self and others, and being proactive rather than reactive or nonactive – helps to avoid embarrassment, disgrace, fluster, etc… – the kinds of self judgement that lead to self doubt, self criticism low confidence and low self esteem. By this self confidence is an expression of the least amount of negative thought about oneself.

    Secondly, I might feel confident because of how others interact with me. If I am considered before a decision is made, to be on a team, or asked an opinion, or involved in a way as to be nontrivial, then I am more self confident after the interaction than before. I also like when people show interest in the things I have, but not as much unless it leads to a welcomed nontrivial interaction. Self confidence has a directly proportional relationship with external or social interactions.

    This and many other “10 ways” lists are for the physical world where print or publishing costs were too high or when a blogger’s time, patience are too limited to list all the ways to build self confidence. Ideally all the parts of self confidence should be dealt equally and fully without the restriction to 10 which is entirely unnecessary being this post is in a virtual infinite space.

  15. Brad Isaac says:

    I found the comments about this post as interesting as the post itself. The strategies in this post can help boost a person’s confidence, but confidence or the belief in oneself comes from within. Everyone has a day when his confidence is low. If using these strategies helps great. I use some of the strategies listed when I am presenting in front of my peers. This gives me the boost I need at that moment.

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  17. The only part that can be presented on paper, is 7. Sit in the front row.

    That I agree with.

    I have to do with business, manipulation and people evey day. If I would give you an advice, would be to look at Donal Trump.

    Just make a search on the internet about him, or on YouTube . See his posture, the way he walks, the way he sits, the way he talks.

    At a first glance, his posture for example, seems weak. But it isn’t. Very smart thing. He just makes you think he is a little weak, and he manipulates you from the shadow.

    Anyway, good article. It would be 200% even better if you made a video article. So people can see examples of posture, voice, eye contact.

    good luck!

  18. rafel says:

    You forgot the obvious: have sex with someone that loves you

  19. do know about your area of operation i.e. confidence comes from the knowledge and knowledge comes from knowing things around you — be expert in your subject.

  20. good one — we need more on this!!

  21. TAZ says:

    Contribution is a great thing. We need to make each other stronger. Nice Article. Thank you for posting John Wesley.

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  23. Montezuma says:

    It seems that a few people, who commented, have missed the point of the article.

    It is meant to build confidence, some one who is already confident does not need to build it in the same manner that some one who is not.

    The point of the article is to help some one with out confidence to do things that will make them feel more confident. Confidence is learned, this is a start.

    Setting and accomplishing goals incrementally is definitely goals is also essential to building confidence.

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  26. Leion says:

    Confidence is sexy

  27. John Wesley says:

    Don’t you think?

  28. My website is BUILT on confidence as a young american entrepreneur woman. I have to have confidence and I make sure everyone knows it.
    Rep the brand,

  29. MacD says:

    I agree with all of the points noted except number two: turns out that ‘important’ people (yeah, sure, that’s relative) like CEO’s of large companies etc all walk slowly. The psychology behind it is that they aren’t in a hurry; the world will wait for them and they have planned ahead well enough that they don’t need to hurry to get where they need to be on time.

  30. EuroMarkus says:

    Good article, but it’s “Dress SharpLY”

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  33. kelly says:

    Definatley a great start for some one who lacks much self confidence . For number two; at some point in their life they had to walk “fast” to be able to walk slow.

  34. zhereford says:

    According to some of the posts, this must the fast-food version of developing self-confidence!

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  36. You forgot posture. It will make a huge difference, you literally will see more and people will look up to you. If people believe you are confident it will help reinforce that positive feedback loop, making it easier for you.

  37. Montezuma says:

    Good point Kurt, acting confident may temporarily give one the feeling of confidence. In return the person will have the courage to complete a task that they would have previously shunned.

    Upon successful completion, you will now have a person that is actually more confident due to their success.

  38. np says:

    #1 should have been dump your girlfriend. I’ve never met a girl interested in helping you be more confident. If you’re feeling low, dump that bitch now before she dumps you and move on to something better.

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  44. Aldo Karell says:

    Even if like some are saying we should know this or it sounds overused I think reminding ourselves every now and again is a good thing. It is very easy to get into a negative mind, being positive sometimes does take reminding and work. Thanks

  45. David Zent says:

    After reading some of the rather vicious comments by the “self-realized” elite here, aren’t you wasting your self-important time with the ferocity of your protestations about a simple “ten ways” list? John has simply presented a few ideas to help the guy whose daily grind is selling, cold-calling, meeting and greeting. A lot of those guys need help in believing they can do it, and these tips help a guy believe a little more in himself, in spite of his lack of training, schooling, polish, expertise etc. Thanks for posting them, John. I know you did it out of concern for the common man, and not for the benefit of these ridiculous know-it-alls who live to carp.

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  47. Shine says:

    The most powerful self-confidence surely comes from within. But, I also believe that the way we walk affect the way we talk and the way we talk affect the way we feel, and how others perceive us, so, John thanks for the list. Especially I can’t agree more with pt. 1 – if you down on a particular day, dress up helps.

    And, may I add one to the list?

    # Always put a smile on the face – you yourself feel better and others feel warmer.

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  49. Glynn says:

    Illusionist is against confidence.

  50. “Oversharpen a knife and it will dull quickly”

    There is no such thing as an “oversharpened edge”, but you can use the wrong edge for the wrong job. Would you use a fillet knife to cut down a tree? The fillet knife would dull quickly and the tree would take forever to cut down. Would you use an axe to fillet a fish? The axe blade is much too thick and you will not be able to get thin fillet slices.

    The point here is that if a tip doesn’t seem to work perhaps the situations for which it does and doesn’t work should have been specified clearly. It would be great to have tips that work in every situation but that is not always possible, just as there is no blade that can handle all cutting chores.

  51. Rob Sim says:

    I disagree strongly with the notion that walking fast will boost your confidence (or other people’s positive impression of you). A fast walker is someone who looks harried- totally stressed out. Rushing from one thing to another is not going to improve your state of mind. I think better advice is to focus on posture and expression- try to walk upright, focus on enjoying your trip from point A to B, and work on bringing a smile to your face.

  52. James says:

    I’d have to agree with the guy above. I’m a fast walker myself and I feel much more relaxed and confident when I force myself to slow down.

    People that walk really slowly though, they should hurry up a bit.

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  54. says:

    IMHO, confidences brings about the things you have mentioned in the 10 points…

    For me, confidence in workplace comes from being knowledgeable in your and possibly other areas… confidence in social life comes from knowing about things that happen around you, general knowledge, and a little extra cash in bank… :-) and, confidence in personal life comes from having some one who loves you…


  55. Steve says:

    Very good list. I’d like to see point 10 nearer the top though. Concentrate on duties and responsibilities instead of rights.

    I find walking fast winds me up a bit. It is possible to walk in a relaxed and confident way: back straight, chest out, swing the arms a little (no need to go all military), fill your space, look others in the eye and say ‘hello/good morning/hi/ whatever’ to them. You acknowledge them as a fellow human, and their response (if they give one of course) acknowledges you. They feel better. You feel better.

    Good day, all!

  56. Ron says:

    There’s a bit of voodoo in confidence. Something that’s not easy to break down into overt or perhaps even conscious behaviors or thoughts.

    I had an interesting experience in the last several days that illustrated the subtle differences in the varieties of confidence one might project, knowingly or not. I live in Greenwich Village, New York, a few steps away from a long established bar that has live music (classic rock standards) every evening. On weeknights, there’s usually just one vocalist/guitarist. Most of the musicians have been playing here regularly for several years, some for decades. All are quite talented. I spoke with one the other evening after his musical set, and he was understated and affable, conversing easily about his career and loyal fan following with both humility and candor. He had the essence of a man who was comfortable in his skin.

    I had a nearly identical encounter with another one of the bar’s musicians last evening. He too was affable and conversed about his career with ease, however spoke more pointedly–more confidently, perse–about which gigs he enjoyed and which he did not, and what the future held. On paper or filmed, both conversations and interactions would seem similar, yet the second musician left me with the distinct feeling that his confidence was of a far more superficial nature than the first musician did.

    Why? It’s hard to pinpoint, though I’m sure a psychological researcher could identify why. The body language of both musicians was not grossly different. Human beings can often sense when confidence has bedrock within a person, and when it does not–even when there’s subjectively very little difference between them.

    This speaks to the argument as to whether confidence is something you can actually possess or portray, or only something that’s conjured and ascribed to you by others after they feel that they have genuinely, sincerely perceived it. The latter is closer to true, I believe.

    While there is much credibility in the notion that purposely acting in certain ways and doing certain things will make you think and regard yourself differently, confidence is far more enigmatic than that. Mr. Wesley’s article is as fine as or better than all other pieces I’ve read that attempt to prescribe greater confidence with a list of dos and don’ts, but the challenge is that we intuitively know that confidence can’t be distilled this way, because its quintessence comes from incalculable nuances. That’s what makes such prescriptive service articles ring both solid and simplistic, through no fault of the writer.

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  58. Viv says:

    Even for a normally confident individual, there will be times when you feel a little smaller, a little discouraged, or a little intimidated. I do think that the above points will come in handy as a quick-fix, when you still have to go out to face the world no matter how relunctant one is at that point.

  59. There is no doubt that having self-confidence leads to greater well-being and positive emotion. Great post.

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  61. Dave says:


    Seriously. Lindy Hop. East Coast Swing. Charleston. Blues. Balboa. Shag. With a name like Shag, who wouldn’t want to do it? :-)

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  70. Alex says:

    The walking faster part is the total opposite of how it should be. Confident people move slowly and with ease when they walk, and have little to no movement when they sit.The person who moves the least has the most power.

  71. I’d day that walk faster tip can be very counter productive.
    Walking faster likely leaves you less breath and ability to concentrate, or to keep good posture for that matter; it may also make you a bit nervous on a crowded sidewalk with a lot of slow strollers.
    Confident people are not in a hurry; I personally found out that I feel more confident if I slow down my pace considerably and walk normally and not extremely quickly as I usually do.

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  79. Olaf says:

    If you’re in a hurry, go slow!!!
    Once a woman had no chance to get some stuff via inet- download. MS, HP, all the gurus + hotliners- they had no solution (but hugh bills :-( ) So she called a friend and he came around. She went all the way on her computer to show him what will happen- it did not work. He said do it again, slowly!!! Surprise- well gone.
    How came? She used to use a habit: add the spacebar after typing the emailaddress…
    If you’re in a hurry, go slow!

    P.S. Make sure you also download your 117 free gifts, where
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  82. Bryan says:

    I stumbled upon this article and I liked it a lot. Gave a reference to this in my article “14 Simple Things To Do For A Better Body” here

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  84. sadara says:

    this is excelent

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  87. PC says:

    Did it bother anyone else that it’s all “herself”?
    What about the men? Equal rights does not mean women get more.

    there were 10 things on the list, could have done 5 of “herself” and 5 of “himself”.
    Of course the author could have followed proper English writing rules and just stayed consistent and gender neutral but directing the comments to “yourself” as they did at the last of the article.

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  91. abidakshan says:

    nice, but practically will it be easy to follow?

  92. you commentors are idiots says:

    omfg this person is actually getting their infor from professionals… guys obviuosly lack confidence and didn’t really tried it.. I heard this from many couselors, therapists…so ppl like chris shut it what do you guys have backing what you say.. what are your sources I have tried these things and they do work… My teacher once told me if you lie to you self and say your confident many times over you are… I kinda agree with you this isn’t a quick fix there is never a quick fix for building your confidence everyone has to build their confidence if you commentors are looking for a one time permanant fix ghood luck cause I don’t think there is one. I personally find these to always rebuiold my confidence

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  94. Jimmy says:

    If I had to give just ONE advice, to those who lack self-confidence and are experiencing some of the troubles we as people go through everyday. It would be to DEVOTE your life to Christ. And everything else will fall into place. Ask and you will recieve, seek and you will find, knock and he will answer. For the most part of my life I have tried to do things my way or mans way. Whether it was trying to build self-worth, being successful, financially stable, staying fit, being like by others, etc. etc. . I found that all those worries put way too much pressure on me as a person and sooner or later I would fail ( I didn’t show it physically through actions more so mentally, where I would bottle things up and it would eventually cause me to crumble).
    I personally feel that many, not all, of us put on a front, a different image of who we really are …( basically a costume we wear everyday to survive the struggles in life ) rather than being genuine & real. That right there takes a toll on many people, whether you’d like to admit it or not.
    I’ve been there before in my life and still am, but this time I am not doing it alone. I have God in my life, who is stronger than I am to help take away the burden and worries that have plagued my life. Now, with his help, teachings, values, morals, and support I am able to worry less about me, less about money, what I look like, what people think of me, if I should fail, etc. and just live and love my life.
    I am starting to appreciate the things I have and the people around me alot more i.e. family and friends. I focus on the positive things and solutions rather than the negative and looking for reasons to make me upset.
    I am by no means, trying to portray an image that I am better than others, rather that is the very cause of many self-conscious fears we have today. We directly & indirectly compare ourselves with others, thus creating fears and doubts within ourselves.
    I am still going through this trouble everyday, but I am making great progress and far from the person I was just a few years ago. I am sharing this with others so that some may come to understand that you deserve this, YOU deserve to feel good, YOU deserve to be loved, YOU deserve to be happy, YOU deserve the good things that come your way. Even if your a good or a bad person, we all deserve room for change, we all have made mistakes in the past and present.
    We ahould try and stop fufilling our emptiness with materialistic things such as, the most expensive cars, clothes, homes, jewelry, money, satisfying our emptiness with drugs and alcohol.
    And instead replace those things with something real like kindness, compassion, understanding, patience, happiness, and most of all LOVE.
    These are the things God has to offer us and through Christ we may recieve these gifts and draw closer to him.
    I know I’ve wrote alot and many might be turned off by all of these words lol, but I honestly believe this is the sole answer to everyone and anyones problem. I have alot more thoughts to share and will be more than happy too, for now I leave everyone with this. Your Life reflects how much you love God…. think about it.

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  99. Elnaz says:

    In my opinion,appearance is the most important thing to get confident.
    If you like your face & dressing,you’ll get sociable & you’ll be brave enough to show yourself to the others & you’re not shy anymore.

    (That’s what I’ve experienced myself)

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    Hello nice blog! !!
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  104. boudi says:

    good information

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  107. Melissa says:

    I recently migrated to a new culture, new people…suddenly lacking self confidence at work struck me..and i am trying to figure out how i can win this debacle…and i came across this article or blog as you may call it. The comments did add some enlightenment. And I would say I have been walking slowler than before since I got here. It made me think twice if walking really has something to do with confidence. Now I will try to walk fast on Monday to work :o) Sure it wont hurt to try :o) To build confidence one needs to read more and fill up ones tiny little mind each day with something new. So you may be able to communicate with others…I think that is the best but the hardest way.

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  109. good ways
    I hope that i got benifits

  110. Shakeeb says:

    those 10 stratigies are pretty impressive but a person unconsiously does these things when he is self confident, and the point here is that when ever you do something you just think that how would a confident person will react in this kind of situation and just react that way. after some time you will get used to these habits and will develop a habit of doing this.
    other thing about walking pace is that should not walk too fast nor to slow because if you walk too slow it describes that you are confused about something and wondering aimlessly and if you walk too fast,it means you are in some kind of pressure and fear (fear from boss, instructor for being late). it is also a sign that you have somekind of unstability in yourself does’nt look mature.

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  112. There are some great tips and strategies here.
    You are right to say that clothes do not make the man and yet dressing sharp can affect the way we feel about ourself.
    I very much like the concept of gratitude and saying thank you to people or events that have helped you each day.
    Exercising and working out, too, are important. There is an old saying ‘healthy body, healthy mind’ which I feel is apt in resect of confidence too.
    In my work I see many people who feel that a lack of confidence holds them back in life. These strategies I’m sure would help many of them.


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  114. dw says:

    i say its better to walk more slowly, and be more accepting of your journey! this takes confidence i think, more so than rushing around

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  117. There are some great tips here but I really do think that the most important factor is number 6 – Compliment other people. It really does help with your presentation and thinking if you are positive about your work colleagues.

  118. mona says:

    thank u .i have a huje lack of self confidence. but when i tryed to think about it i found myself that in most cases i have been modest and people judjed me that im weak, and i don’t believ in my self. peopel around me tell me and all the time try to convince me that im good and i have to be proud of who i am because it is me and i couldn’t have been someone else.but i find it hard to believ them because i don’t truste people that much . they all say that i want to be perfect and do something outstanding,whereas my objective is to do someting correct for once. im 19 about to get my 20s and i still don’t know who i am what am i going to do .i still think of my life as an accident ,unwelcomed familly loves me my parents and brothers and sisters care about me .sometimes i feel im the center of their lives. that’s why i try to do my best to make them proud of me .however no matter what i do i never achieve the degree to make them satisfied that’s what i think.i miss motivation in ly life .if i am motivated i believ i can reach the lack of responsibiilty is the most tornment to my soul. all the time i seem sad and furious and i laugh ,however,i immidiately regret it. always i care about peopel and say to my self’ what would be their point of view about me?” what me for them?” why don’t they treat me well ? eventhough they ‘ve done nothing wrong. i study english at university and i feel so inferior to my classmates .at class when a teacher launchs a certain idea .i get some stupid answers in my mind while the answer when it is said tottaly faaaaaaar from what i thaught about.STUPID.and i am a bit fat well not very fat but full shaped .which is sth that disturbs me. i believ in god but i don’t feel like satisfying god.when people think of loving god and his prophet. i just find hard to feel that love which is sth i wish i can achieve one day.i am so carismatic. and i believ in hard working and responsiblity. plz comment.thank u

  119. dw says:

    reading your post it looks like you are caught up in self doubting thought processes.

    don’t worry about age most peeople never know exactly what they want to do. why should you? we live in an age of uncertainty which is why it is a very hard time to be a student. i am too a student.

    i must say, a breakdown, even though horible, was what i needed to smack me in the face and provoke me to think for myself.

    i say this because it has provoked me to learn to find time for myself. see what i like, what I want and what i want from life.

    your life is your own, you should stop worrying what your mates, your family or ANYone else appears to ‘want’ from you and find time to learn to love yourself.

    trust me im no hippie, this i have learned through experience.

    ‘a wise man learns from experience, an even wiser man learns from others’ experiences’ -plato

    oh and do you excercise or do many hobbies? it is important to do things that interest you.

  120. mona says:

    dw, “self doubting thaught proccesses” wonderfull sentence.u mentioned sth about time? well i make u sure that time which is preserved to my privacy and life and inner thaughts is more than any other thing.i believ in contemplation and wondering in the world and people .but i never thaught this will lead me to be a prisoner of a wrong immagination.anyways.about hobbies, i used to draw profiles and human’s faces meanwhile i try to see my self through that painting .i succeeded, but i faced horrible reactions that say “it’s against our religion” .well no comment?. later on i stopped and i used to write well not correct poetry but well verses that expresse me. i enjoyed them but unfortunately this abilty to writing wasopressed because of an accident that i feel sad and humiliated to talk i better keep it for my i gave up all my hobbies ad i live to live. and my main concern is to reach my last day and leave this world peacfully. as long as i do noth in return ….anyways Mr dw thanks for ur was helpfull .but still words shape that clutter image in my mind and thaghts seem foggy and takes time to be cleared up .and as usual putting sth into practice is harder than emptying the sea.thank u so much.

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  123. Nancy Hoe says:

    I certainly agree with your pointers. Thank you for your tips.

    Truly Yours

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  126. great says:

    Hey, just wanna say thanks

  127. mona says:

    thank u for all .really thank you so much.

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  129. danielle says:

    As a recent graduate of philosophy who came accross this article in a “next-step” search, i must include a few observations. I have spent years listening to the people around me, studying identity and trying to comphrehend the springs from which a person’s concept of being flows, and i have discovered that so many share a link. When i consider the people i know who are thought confident, myself often one, many of them do have the traits described. And none of them think about it.
    A past lover once told me he thought i seemed confident. Really? i asked. Why? He shrugged, and this has been the basic response. Confidence is not fixed, it is a processural stream which people may step in and out of which is in a constant state of flux. And they do this unknowingly.
    What is amazing about confident people to the unconfident person is that they seem to be without a care in the world, or at least, their cares seem not to bog them down. And that is their choice. The human mind can overcome anything. Once you realize that only you control how you experience the world, confidence will no longer be an issue. You can take things in stride, take them with a grain of salt, or not take them at all. Life’s possibilities are endless. Go.

  130. d says:

    agreed, seeing confidence as fixed is not a real idea.
    this is something ive been getting at but haven’t quite realised before now… ta danielle!

    do you think the realisation of that you control your world means ‘understanding’ it.. after all people are apparently afraid of what they do not understand?

  131. danielle says:

    It’s interesting that you connect the idea to fear, however, that people often fear what they don’t understand is a very general sentiment. I think of how often heterosexual people who are homophobic, for example, are claimed to be afraid of homosexual persons, that is afterall implied in the term. And this is linked to the idea that they fear what they don’t understand. However, i do not think it’s fear, and i don’t think it’s that they don’t understand. The problem in this example is that they do think they understand, and they have done so within a limited construct. When i claimed that people often don’t realize that they control their world, ie, their perception or experience of the world, i didn’t mean that they lack an understanding of it. What I meant was that they often are not aware of the possibilities of their experience, that they control what they perceive, and as such they can overcome said barriers and choose how they feel about whatever occurs in their life irregardless of the given circumstances. Any barriers people percieve in life, that maybe they need ‘confidence’ to overcome, are usually only perceived by them. And to many people this realization may seem “easier said than done,” due to a number of factors, maybe even fear, like you suggest. But if fear has any place, it is in that part of ourselves that knows, deepdown, that there are no barriers in life other than our minds, that we can go forth as we please, and that we are responsibile for the choices we make.

  132. d says:

    cool, understood… almost

    so for someone who thinks they lack confidence, it is more so the failure to see opportunity in front of them

    do you mean this article is wrong, cos it thinks it understands ‘confidence’

  133. danielle says:

    I think the article is surface level. It is addressing the symptom rather than the cause. It gives options as to improve one’s confidence, so to speak, but it ignore’s my initial point. I spoke about people who appear confident, and noted that they basically aren’t occupied with whatever may mentally ail them. My second passage elaboarted on the concept, locating their not being preoccupied with such things in their choice to not be preoccupied. These are the things that help/hinder confidence. This article isn’t wrong, per se, but it’s kind of like of get-rich-quick scheme for the mind. All along however, a person is working towards achieving what i have been positing all along: don’t worry, brush it off, go forth. If this is done, then confidence seeking becomes moot, because you’re mentally in the clear.

  134. MoNa says:

    i really wanted to understand but it seemed a little bit shallow. what u said about understanding the fact of being “confident”. amazed me. but the question of fear in’t really clear. talking about myself, i ‘ve a terrible lack of confidence but i read the comments written above and i learn step by step. Actually, i would like you to talk a bit about the milieu and its effet on the person. how friends n responsibility n familly ,to some extenct, can affect the person… , ur anlysis is really impressing but personnaly i believ that what is scientific and professional can’t easly get into everybody’s mind. people ain’t all the same. unless the speech is adressing a specific category of people. thank you so much

  135. d says:

    i notice everything ive come across has all pointed to that . ways to let go –

    suppose the question is what is the best ways to do that

    and i take it when the reasons are more disturbing thats when proffessional help fits in.

  136. danielle says:

    Thank you, Mona. You say you have a lack of confidence which indicates to me that you are not sure of yourself for one reason or another. It sounds like you have a tough situation going on, that you’re really struggling in some respect. Although i was not writing to a specific audience, as i think my ideas apply to all, I was not writing about people who have barriers outside of their control. Some people have physical or mental disabilities, which are hard to overcome but not impossible, I promise. Some people, especially young ones, feel trapped or that their lives are not in their control when they have issues with their families or peer groups. But even these situations can be changed. There is a tendency when we are young and have yet to experience the world to look inward for the solutions to our problems. However, that is the source of the problem. Do not think I am placing blame or directing shame. I am simply saying that people often get so wound up in whatever is holding them down that they don’t realize that it usually is only within them that the barrier exists. In your situation Mona it seems like you have spent alot of time trying to find the answer yourself, which is quite admirable considering so many people never even try, but that is not the only way. You should reach out to a counselor. If you’re in school, talk to a teacher or counselor there. Your friends and family can’t give you the help a trained professional can. Also, you should have someone help you locate a social service agency that could help you find more resources. If there’s one thing i’ve learned, it’s to never be afraid to ask for help from those who can give it. And take pride in knowing that the fact that you’re trying to better yourself is proof that you have the strength within to do it. Be well.

  137. d says:

    hey dannielle, love philosophy but wasnt brave enuff for the degree!

    what do you think the best way to think is?
    e.g. i was thinking earlier its probably best to:
    1. elliminate inner dialogue
    2. focus on what you want

  138. d says:

    hey dannielle, love philosophy but wasnt brave enuff for the degree!

    what do you think the best way to think is?
    e.g. i was thinking earlier its probably best to:
    1. elliminate inner dialogue
    2. focus on what you want (as opposed to what you dont want)

  139. desdeMona says:

    Amazing. i appreciated .but let me focus on few palces where u mentioned respect.i believ i couldn’t make my
    self clearer,but still have a chance to do so. my lack ofconfidense is what i was told to have not what i discovered myself. in class at home ..let me tell u something. i always say things that somebody else woudln’t dare to reveal.for instance.i always have that fear of failure,looking diffrent,expressing my real feelings but never afraid of saying the truth.many around me translated this to my eager for perfection. which is absolutly the opposit. i express my worries openly before all my friends,actually, no specific person .however i discovered this is not a successful outlet to feel good . cus backbiting hurted me so much. but now things has changed to the best. it is said that “ne pas cherchez a contenter les uns et les autres car les gens sont pas les memes’. i really believe in this saying. not everybody are safe not to fall in self doubting confidence. no body is perfect.i believe in a “change” but time palys an important role which i do fact, i lost many people because of my being stern. mayeb this artical is not realy well organized, but i decided not to erase a single word ,believing that it’s a step toward building selfconfidence. and excuse my english because it’s not quiet good. plz respond. All in all “repsected Danielle” . the time ur giving to this site trust me is very worth to be spent for. im so glad i recieve such analysis from a professional. because i acually have no well trained prcon in this field to criticise or analyse who be am..just carry on this actvity it’s a helpfull way u r affording to “poorish” people like me. Thank you.

  140. d says:

    mona please have a look at:

  141. danielle says:

    Asking a philosopher ‘what is the best way to think,’ is probably one of the most complicated questions one could ask! To respond to your suggestion, i don’t know how one could eliminate inner dialogue, as thinking is basically a conversation with yourself, unless you mean second-guessing yourself. And second-guessing yourself needs to be distinguished from one’s conscience, which is that manifestation of inner dialogue.
    That’s a tough call. In the Anglo-American tradition, the best way to think would be to consider all repercussions of an action before you act. However the continental philosopher would argue that in such a case they are not acting naturally, whatever that may be, and are in fact restraining themselves in some fashion. The continental philosopher would argue the best way to think would be with spontaneaity, to say and do whatever comes to mind. And this, the Anglo-American would say, is foolish. That’s what the greats think. Now I’ll leave it to you to decide.

  142. d says:

    i suppose i am refering to second guessing; as without second guessing you would act without questioning yourself at every turn. its all good and well having a conscience as it can help, but i believe second guessing can not help as it may help provoke what we call mental illness.

    my point of focusing on what you want as opposed to what you dont want must mean elliminate second guessing also.

    by the way i definetly agree with the anglo-american, why act spontaniously when your mind may be full of hate.


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  146. SONICA says:

    The points covered here r very good to build your selfconfidence. My confidence loosed over the years while knowing the people and their attitute especially in very personl relation as well as work envionment and ur boos. The way your boss treats you. So I would say guys just call yourself that “I am the best” and should not allow anyone to decrease your morale and and confidence. Believe in one thing, “If u belive urself people ( world) will believe in you.”

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  148. desdeMona says:

    good point SONICA. thx

  149. nreidy says:

    Phillydawg obviously has some self-confidence problems. Instead of putting down others, why not examine yourself?
    Not all young professionals think the world revolves around them, so I suggest you know what you are talking about before you make inconsiderate generalizations.

  150. Sophia says:

    I agree, except I’d add that you have to make sure you don’t cross the line into arrogance like this blog points out:

  151. orod1one says:

    You must not look good at all. Maybe you should apply those 10 tips!

  152. oscar says:

    If you were so confident about your self you would not be reading this material in first place. I bet you do not make over 50K a year and complain about everything in life.

  153. oscar says:

    I cant believe i am reading these negative comments from you guys! some comments do make sense like the walking fast. Here is a quick profile on most of you guys who think one or more of the 10 tips are stupid. Your all or most of the following!!!! “Single” some college, over weight, “NEGATIVE” not sure of what you want in life, never really achieved anything, making no more than 25K, hates their job, or jobless, does not really get along with anyone. And need to hide behind a computer to make silly comments,very insecure of themselves, I make over 100K and still looking to refine my sales skills. Your supposed to learn from good and bad. I love this see you all laters

  154. oscar says:

    Please do not offense by my comments! But here are my 2cents.

    To Phillydawg: Your average cus you say you are! Dont think of yourself like that!

    To Tim Smith: Your right in someways! But Its obvious your lifestyle does not require you to dress up. I highly recommend everyone to look nice! You do not need to buy clothing from Chanel, Eddie Bauer, or Versaci. Walt Disney said, “image is everything”. Joseph Kennedy, father of J.F.K. and R.F.K. Said “its not what you are but what people think you are”.

  155. oscar says:

    Confidence can be applied differently, for instance! Homeless have to be the most confident people alive! why? Because not everyone can approach people to give them money. Now that takes confidence. But look at their appearance its repulsive. You should dress nice and look nice because you care about your self. Not because you want people to think your confident. I have to admit when I dress sharp. I turn more heads than usuall and I feel like a million bucks! I do belive in some small way that how you look is how you feel about everything. I tend not to socialize with people whom turn positives into negatives. I think these are the best ten tips I have read so far this year. I will apply them to my new business venture. I used to be negative about EVERYTHING in life. When i turned it around I tripled my income, kept more friends, and became overall a better person.

  156. oscar says:

    I am with you all the way! nreidy There are two ways of looking @ everything. in a good way or in a bad way. You are what you hate and what you want to be or cant be.

  157. oscar says:

    I like your comment, can you explain more about how he manipulates you from a shadow! thanks bud.

  158. oscar says:

    David, I could not of said it better my self. I am one of those sales people you just described, I am 34 and made a ton of money in real estate, so my head is as big as they get heehee! I’ve been semi-retired for a year and a half. Now i am opening a used car dealer ship on my own, and I am trying to build that sales confidence again.

  159. Broman says:

    I really don’t agree with what you say. All that you talk about are things that are temporary. Sure everyone should wear neat clothing etc but it doesen’t enhance the way we perceive ourselves. Confidence is the feeling that you have the ability to do something. By wearing nice clothes you’ve eliminated the fear or atleast lestened the fear of looking bad style wise, but whose to say that you aren’t worrying about your weight, your voice, your posture, your acne, your stutter, your one leg, whatever. There are a million things that could be influencing that persons confidence, some of which are unchangable but could still be accepted by the individual. Confidence is the ability to accept who you are regardless of what inabilities you may have. The only thing which i can truely agree with is the speak up part because it conditions you to have an equal part in conversations.

    I look forward to any replies because i am extrememly interested in this area of peoples lives :)

  160. John Wesley says:

    You are right that some of these things that are temporary, but they also do affect our self perception.

    If you dress sloppily, what does that say about the opinion you have of yourself? Do you consider yourself important?

    None of these things will cure all your woes, but I do think they can help. Something as small as taking better care of your appearance will make others see you in a different light and change the way you see yourself.

  161. oscar says:

    All i am saying is how can you be confident looking like crap! Usually people bring down other people. you are who you hangout I never seen donald trump hanging out with people we tend to discriminate. It kinda sucks that some people here can turn the 10 tips into a negative. Everything in life, nature is temperary you have to stimulate what ever it is you adapt. Even when you work out you can lift the same weight all year long but when you change the angle you will stilmulate growth. You can be confident for maybe 8hrs with new clothes, but that is why you need to understand that anything in life you adopt will need maintenance.

  162. oscar says:

    Broman, I hate to say this but I truly believe you pretty much described yourself in oneway or another. Everything in life is temporary we would of never evolved into what we are now if we did not seek change in our lives .We are wired to constantly be on the move. I truly believe people really do not understand human evolution. Part of living and surviving is adaptation. Example: Ellis Iland was the T.J. of today 100+yrs ago, humans will constantly look for change so temporary should be a part of everyones lives. I truly believe everyone on this website has issues, because if you were not looking to better yourself you would not be on this website. Confidence is a double edge sword confidence is something that just does not happen, it takes time and you will hit the floor many times before you understand it. Confidence is something good and bad. People like and dislike confident people. I learned that 99.9% of people are really good a giving advise and have wisdom but, less than 1% of us actually practice what we preach. infact I really do not know anyone whom does or practices every piece of advise they give but its really good. I am truly happy that I found this website. I just got divorced i had to give up 3/4’s of my assets and liquid capitol, I have to start from the bottom again I didnt think I would be able to get to level i was, making 7figures, but I will sure try and all of you will help me get there. I was a real estate developer in Riverside California, but when you create money you also create a whole lot of other issues taxes, disgruntle people, lending money, the money goes and comes but the problems seem to always remain. I may have to look for a job soon if i dont liquidate some of my left over assets. So in a nut shell I need the courage and confidence to be a sales person passout flyers, and talk to people like I did 5 yrs ago. I know what to do but I need the courage and confidence to do it. Wish all of you luck and success.

  163. desdeMona says:

    confidence?? many tips r being given to tell n help people how to ameliorate their selfesteem right?.great. but weird when most of the given advice works all on the side of how that person is accepted by his surrounding;while it ignores tottaly how that person is ready to reach an understanding to his it through people that we make it to build our own self confidence. but why it is said “celui qui connait l’art de vivre avec soi_meme ignore l’ennui”….also there is a point i admired but never could to express however Mr OSCar has just benn to the point saying” I learned that 99.9% of people are really good a giving advise and have wisdom but, less than 1% of us actually practice what we preach. ” pretty good expression.

  164. Broman says:

    Yeah i agree. I guess my post wasn’t all that clear on it but i believe that clothing, colognes etcetera do impact upon your self confidence but there is also something i believe much deeper than that. Its like the person who has millions but can’t get in front of a crowd of a thousand people and give a speech. More than likely he has the finest colognes, clothing and equipment but in an instant its worthless. I don’t know if it seems like i’m talking in riddles but in different situations the boost that his look gives him is so minute that its worthless. I have a mate who is blonde and has a six pack but has absolutely no confidence around women. So what i want to know is what is ‘it’ because to me it can’t be found in appearance.

    Looking forward to your reply.

  165. John Wesley says:

    Well, I guess that’s the million dollar question. Maybe there are no words to define ‘it’.

  166. oscar says:

    Mona, I am not sure what angle your coming from but it sounds like your not happy with somethings in your life. I learned from a business partner 10yrs ago something I will never forget. He said, No degree no schooling, no college etc, will teach you what another persons life experiance can. Dont make all the mistakes your self learn from others. This guy is a millionaire, I dont even think he is legal in this country, but he owns like 50 99cent stores. Desdemona, you are obviously online for a reason you need to accept the fact that you are like ALL of us online seeking help to be motivated and have get that bounce in our step again. I learned that the first step to tackling a problem is to recognize it and of course to accept it. mona let let your anger out that is part of recognizing you have an issue, I dont believe in the word problem. You guys, 100 yrs ago we did not have to remember 20 passwords, indentity theft, car loans, payments, and if you live in California, social status is a must “keep up with the jones’es” I am still wondering why? but i fell for it.
    So our brains really cannot handle all of that over load. So we lashout at what ever we do not understand Especially old scool people like most of us. I will repeat my self, we all have somekind of issue otherwise we would not be having this discussion. Mona are you french or is that just a prop! I am the first to admit that before, alcohol gave me the confidence I needed to take on everyday tasks. But then, it started creating more problems than I could handle. So now I am seeking a natural supplement. You guys know what is sad but true… Most of us if not all of us feel somewhat better to see that other people have the same if not worse problems than us. “SO LET IT OUT” heehee

  167. Broman says:

    Hi Oscar,

    I truly appreciate your honesty in describing your situation and hopefully we can help you, just as you help us :)

    I believe that yes i did in some ways describe myself. I am a confident person in many situations, i’ve spoken in front of crowd of two hundred for 8 minutes, played jack johnson to a crowd of seven hundred but some things just throw me like being in social situations and approaching groups of people i’ve never met before. I guess everything we are confident with we have become familiar with so you are right when you said ‘it takes time and you will hit the floor many times before you understand it’

    Looking forward to your reply :)

  168. Broman says:

    Hi again oscar,

    When you said that you use to use alcohol as a way of taking on everyday task it triggered something which i have always thought about for a long time. I’m from australia and we are fairly big drinkers as a society, but every party i use to go to i would get smashed as a way of being able to be confident around people. I never really thought about it that much when i did it but now i have come to realise what i was doing. I was simply covering up how inadequate i felt with alcohol. Now when i go to parties i’ll either have nothing or try to limit myself. Thought you would find it interesting.

  169. oscar says:

    I truly like your 2nd post to John, Anyways Confidence in my opinion is not what people think you but how you dont care about what people think of you. I need to put it together better but you catch my drift. broman, I truly believe and I could be wrong but most of the people online have a fear of been in public or are more to themselfs. I havent pin pointed it but!!!! Every single person online is very confident about typing their problems away on a keyboard, all we need to do is somehow figure out a way to carry this confidence throughout the day. I still havent got the courage to go out and pass out flyers for the car dealer ship, its a small lot but its a start. I did speak with three people at a gas station this morning because I was filling up a car and it had the for sale stickers. Tomorrow i will stand outside of wal-mart and pass out my flyers, I keep printing them but not passing them out.
    I welcome your advise and thank you for replying back…
    your bud oscar

  170. Broman says:

    Glad you liked the post. I guess my only advice that i could give to help you out is don’t perceive your customer as this amazing thing that is greater than you. Just before you are about to go out and hand out the flyers stop and think about how everybody has insecurities and hopefully it will boost you confidence with approaching people. I know it works for me :)

    Also you might want to think about looking at body language because maybe you are giving off a ‘vibe’ that you don’t want to be approached.

    Not sure if this helped or not.

  171. oscar says:

    Well you dont have to tell me about alcohol, I am Mexican 2nd generation in the states, My parents arrived in the states in 1951. My girfriend is white and her family drinks, so I learned that alcohol does not discriminate. Our brain functions are chemically triggered, I am researching exactly what chemical reaction triggers us to be so social when we drink. I know Alcohol suppreses our shyness part of the brain. Or if anyone here knows please share it with us. Sad part is that all it takes is one bad incident to throw away a year of confidence building. OMG I dont even go to parties anymore, usually all my old drinking buddies try to hug me and they stink wreak! all they talk about is non-sense. I am over that hurdle.

  172. oscar says:

    broman, you and i share the same problems, Its taco tuesday here in cali, so i am out to have dinner. I enjoy talking to you. So like the terminator./; I’ll be back! You have the same thoughts i have, we must of had the same life experiences training or share the same background somehow.
    thanks bud. I truly believe that sharing ideas thoughs and experiences is all a person needs to get through their issues. I always seek ideas from day to day people who actually work, and sweat as i do. No offense to Psychiatrists but I think they can tell us why and the hows the brain works but I would never ask them for advise. They live in a world thinking that everyone that goes to them is phsyco. Atleast that is what I think. I am off to my tacos. 3 for a dollar at del taco. cant beat that if I wanted to.

  173. Broman says:

    Glad i’ve helped :)

    I don’t think i would go and see a psychologist but i love reading books on psycology. I’m reading one now called called change your thinking by Sarah Edelman and i’m finding it really helpful. Not sure if you can get it in the states because its by an australian psycologist.

    I know its going to take a while to read the following but this is from the book and i thought it was pretty cool.

    ‘All events are causally determined – this is a basic scientific principle that applies to human behaviours as well as the laws of nature. Everything that happens in the universe occurs because the circumstances that prevail at the time cause it to happen. Whether a volcano erupts or a leaf falls from a tree or your computer crashes, it is because all the factors that were necessary for those events to occur were present at the time. This same principle also applies to human behaviour. Everything we say and do, including those things that turn out to have negative consequences, happen because all the factors that were necessary for them to occur were present at the time. We could not have behaved differently given all the factors that prevailed, including our limited knowledge and awareness at that point in time, and if all those circumstances recurred we would do exactly the same thing. In retrospect, we can see the consequences of our actions and realise that it would have been better to have done some things differently. After the event, we can learn from our experience (new knowledge and awareness) and try not to repeat our mistakes. However as we did not have that knowledge and awareness at the time blaming our past actions is both irrational and self defeating.’


  174. miko says:

    hi guys maybe im the new born here trying to digen himself with these words but let me share my view too.
    well,self estmate is one of the most hurting issue in everybody’s life if somebody doesn’t trust or lost his word of trust i think (s)he would close all the doors of life and see the world in a very limited view whereas (the world is bigger than we can imagine) how???ok if we went through our imagination,we would never stop cos our dream has not an end so this can take us away from what we call loose of hope or luck of trusting the other.all what we see and live has no sense!! yeah no sense as long as we’re limited minded.i think if we do not tend to understand facts,people,ideologies…we’ll never make any good that we all dream to realise thing more, it is the weak of humain being. yeah this play another big role in distructing our hope n trust as has to do with the first one cos when we can do anything we excuse and try to escape cos again we dont have the ability to face and confront and which makes our situation more puzzling than what it was in the beginning.well as they said dont take life too much serioously,we won’t get out of it alife means things has simple order is GOD to him we’re going back so there is no need to desire things you can’t have and then say i can’t trust if you want to trust get to start by yourself dont depend on others to do it for you everything done in your own world must be controlled by you cos your the god in your world under the supremecy of the LORD of everythings .
    well that was me miko every single damn idea is from me n evil whereas all the great n good point is from him the Almighty thanks gentleme for listening n reading.

  175. desdemona says:

    SIR oscar .one thing, THANK YOU SO MUCH .n thanks for joining this cite wot u r saying in general makes sense n ur thoughts are a spice that makes our discission more delecious . cus u r kind of analysing each one’s situation in a simple way everyone can get it. gracias.

  176. d says:

    couldnt quite understand what your sayin miko but interesting.

    if we are talking about being a good business man i am sure the tips on this page will help you look good for a speech and such like. you dont necessarily have to carry these tips in all your life ‘cos i dont think it is healthy to do so.

    everyone is different but everyone can learn to realise that you are responsible for your own actions. the more this happens you can let go of so called insecurities.

    finding cruches is not the way for a healthy mindset IMO

  177. oscar says:

    thx mona, john, broman… I was visiting my parents yesterday,
    welcome mico but WTF are you talking about Miko, I am new to this and i love it, we all are different in everyway on this post but we share the same issues, we all lack confidence, and courage which I think is pretty much the same thing. broman i went out to radio shack last night and I took one of the cars from the lot, I think i sold my first car! I want to thank everyone who posted and replied to my crys for help!!!!. I could not of done it without you!!! I swear my confidence went from negative one million to positive ten trillion to the 10th power. MIKO; It seems that you obviously read a lot, but it seems like your living in an authors shoes, or a fantasy world… you need to understand what works for someone else oes not mean it will work for you!!! I have a twin brother the only thing we have incommon is we both like attractive lesbians. heehee “miko” live simple, we are our own worst enemies. I am with “d” i did not understand your post! keep it simple i live by that. Their is answer to every problem and usually the simples is the best one. My girl thinks i have an online relationship because all day i check my email, i told her I have several of them heehee…. laters

  178. oscar says:

    Please no one take offense with this post.”BUT”
    I read most of these posts and it seems like most of them are posted for the wrong reason. Let me explain! I could be wrong but it seems like, most people post comments from literature they read and not actuall experiences. Most of us like to escape reality by reading and imagination which is a result of lack brain stimulation. The mind tends to make up stuff on its own when there is nothing to stimultate it. miko; its sounds like you need to go out more…! It sounds kinda like let me impress you with crap I really dont understand and maybe it will make me seem more intelligent. We are all intelligent, and the reality is that we tend to mask things we do not understand with crap no one understands. Like, maybe if I confuse the hell out of everyone they may think OH! this person really knows what he’s saying or doing when in reality that is not the case. Also it seems like all the advise or comments posted are from some kind of best seller book or something! You guys again 99.9% of us are pretty good at giving advise but we tend not to use it ourselves. I like to have reality checks now and then. Again I dont mean to offend anyone. I trully dislike but like it when someone critizises me! Because, that is like grinding the burrs and defects from my life to make my days easier.

  179. d says:


    that is why i said i think its not healthy. we all do it as you say though

  180. oscar says:

    Miko, i trully do not mean to offend you non of us do. We are all here for the same reason. Pretty much all of us like to feed off of others problems../ Look at Britney Spears, thousands of people go through that daily where is the media? I think I actually know why people like to see others down. Number one it tells us WOW i am not the only one that is screwed up! and two we love to come to the rescue of others its our nature. It some how makes us feel like we mean or meant something to someone. miko} I sense you’re not happy something dramatic happened recently let it out!!! talk to us or email me or someone! hey “d” you were onto something with miko. thanks bud oscar

  181. desdemona says:

    woww wow wow guys? what is this adversed attack on miko?? u keep saying we r all here for the same reason that we lack something or need help.n i believe this will be reached through trying to understand if not pick up points that indicates what that person really is trying to say. everyone here has a message has an idea .some have the ability to expresse it somehow , others get confused and expressions just fail them. and i believe that this guy here “miko” said he is the new born. so let’s respect his excitement to join this site n this discussion…trust me ,i see many ideas in miko’s comment, so confused, a mixture of thoughts that explains a certain stance toward one’s life. and those ideas just give a foggy picture unable to be contemplated.simply sir”miko” would u please emphasize what do you really want to say .because it’s too vague up there. we would appreciated .SIR Oscar. u said u felt a huje change from negative to posetive. well thanks to this site me too i really have many things which have taken another direction.for me i believe that to find somebody to talk to is the best remmedy to ones suffering.Befor, i used to chatt n say whatever i ‘ve deep inside ,however,i feel worse than before;but once i got in this conversation i started to feel better .then i said to myself”AT LAST SOMEONE TO UNDERSTAND”. also, whenever i switch on my PC ,the first thing i do is: “yo girl GO TO PICK THE BRAIN’S MAILS” unavoidable action.guys i trully wanna thank ou for all and keep on helping eah other becuse nobody’s perfect. GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU.

  182. oscar says:

    heehee… We are all here for the same reason trust me! to somehow better our lives, and second to feed off of each other, besides i have nothing else better to do::miko:: I stand by my earlier post! There are two ways of taking things. Good or bad! IF anyone here thinks you can post something that dramatic and not get both negative and positive feed back!@ You truly do have issues, I though i understood he was new born to this blog. If you want symphaty I dont think you’ll get it ere. miko is kool reply miko, i just think he or she has really deep thoughs he or she wants to let out! Take the Bull by the horns and ride em. I am opening my self to critism to so you have to take the good with the bad and land in between. I guess we were kinda mean!!! but again us as humans we tend to deal with new and different people in different ways, I am not religious at all, but I do believe something is outthere and not the X files type of stuff. I am a huge science fan!!! LOVE YA!!!

  183. oscar says:

    And besides i wrote please do not get offended, I probably have more issues here than anyone else. smell ya laters.

  184. oscar says:

    “d” i was the rude one not you, i guess i got caught up in the exitement… I truly believe I havent chatted with such an intelligent group of people before… Hey you guys I am a kickboxer so here is another good site for confidence. You guys will love this one to but pickyourbrain is better.

  185. miko says:

    hi guys im here again nevermind i dont get angry about this i hate sympathy too so if you see in me sth just let it comes up i know when you criticise sb you’re pretty sure that (s)he made sth wrong. concerning me i dont have that big problem that you all said just i tried to give you my view not depending on books or imagination i said i’ve seen in my life n my experience n what i’ve done with pp in my life up till now also i dnt limit myself in such limitation i always go trough things far from me in order to get full understanding to the facts cos this is what i learnt from a sychologist who thought me to depend on several views before getting into my own this is why it looked like that i read more n not concentrating on real life in the oppostie i always tried to be real rather than unreal maybe this view that i’ve given is my reality but again doesn’t mean that is wrong cos i beleive in a saying NOBODY IS PERFECT n nobody is wrong n nothing has come from nothing it is from our memories n experience
    miss DESDEMONA i wanna say it’s not a mixture of ideas but rather my personal view on things.well self confidence is our own problem not for anybody cos we who lock themselves into these ideas that is when we need things we dont go stright foraward to it we keep on turnin arround n assume that we went for it.yea it’s nice to think simply so as to get a simpple reaction but not all the time is true cos if you keep living simply it won’t give you much n you know we’re from the category that wants to get n to acheive what our sorroudind did or less then. things we really can do unlike if we do it in a simple way i know to be easy in life is nice but we dont know cos sometimes we got enthusiastic eager to do things we want thing we dont want we say ok TAKE IT EASY !!!???

  186. Broman says:

    Hi Miko,

    I haven’t really spoken to you yet and my advice is to get some lessons or coaching on sentence structure or similar because i feel that you can’t articulate what you truly feel. I can understand that you have issues but i can’t truly grasp the full extent of your problems. I’m not trying to be mean i’m just being honest.

  187. Broman says:

    Hey oscar,

    Not sure if the literature comment was aimed at me or not so i’ll give you a real life situation so you can be happy :)

    I have a huge fear of being rejected by women. Fucked if i know where it comes from but anyway. At like every party i go to there always seems to be someone i want to be with but every time i go to approach them i fuck up. I tense up, sweat, all that shit, you know the fight of flight response. But i’ve read heaps of books which you seem to have a hatred of :) and it helps a lot. I now realize that i was focusing on how fucked up my body was which only made it worse and i was also catastrophising which means seeing the worse in every situation, the worst thing being completely shut down and having others see it happen. So now whenever i’m in that situation instead of focusing on how bad i feel, i focus on how good the situation could be and all the times that i’ve had with other women that have gone smooth as fuck :)

    Hopefully that isn’t to bookish for you :)

  188. oscar says:

    I am not sure what is going on but who needs writing skills here… I am so lost

  189. oscar says:

    Hey broman, I can tell you what, if you act like if you own the world I dont care what you look like heads will turn, trust me!!! Women like confident men! I get off like I own the universe. I do pretty good in that department, I was horrible thoe, i was so shy. IF i tell you what someone was doing to me while i was typing earlier It would BLOW your mind.

  190. Broman says:

    Yeah i get what your on about :)

    I’m heading out to a party tonight and I’m so keen for it. I’ve been thinking about a bunch of times where I’ve been so smooth and confident and I’m in a mindset that anything is possible tonight!!

    I’ll tell you how i go tomorrow but i’m quietly confident i’m going to have an awesome time tonight 😛

    Hmm i’m curious have any of you read ‘The Game’ or any books similar to it ???

  191. desdemona says:

    sympathy!!!euuuuh anyways those who miss sympathy sees it everywhere…no comment i don’t wanna go any further repeating the same thing is if anybody has something to say why can’t he or she say it straight n share what is rolling in his head instead of being metaphysical about facts.knowing that we learn from each other hereand that’s the point of this forum isn’t it.”MIKO” what kind of comments u r making? r u here for help or to give advice cus we tried to understand but u said in your last comment:”concerning me i dont have that big problem that you all said just i tried to give you my view ….”.is there anything we can do to get on the same ligne.”of course in case ur interested in sharing !!”

  192. desdemona says:

    sir Broman im interested in reading .so what kind of books is “the Game”.plz

  193. oscar says:

    Mona, i knew there were deep issues with “M” miko you lashed out at us the other day!Sorry bud! but regardless of what other people comment or try to defend you, you have SEROIOUS ISSUES MAN! all were trying to do is help one another! Hey MONA how did it go the other day at the party!

  194. Broman says:

    Hi Desdemona,

    The Game is about picking up women but its also about your confidence, approaching people and things like that. Its by Neil Strauss and i highly recommend it. I lent my copy to a mate and i haven’t seen it for about 3 weeks so i’m guessing he liked it. Its one of those books that you have to read 2 or 3 times to fully appreciate how much information is in it. He also wrote a book called rules of the game which is a 30 day challenge to increase your confidence, posture, voice and image. I’ve also bought it but i’ve only done about 5 days so far.

  195. Broman says:

    I didn’t know Mona went to a party i thought it was me :)

    It was ok it rained all day yesterday so a lot of people ditched the party and only about 6 girls went that were single. There were 2 girls standing by themselves so i approached and noticed one of them had their arms folded which is something i’ve learnt about from learning about body language so i used that as my opener and then i talked to them for about 10 minutes but it was fairly painful as both of them were on the extreme side of being shy. Later we were all dancing and i tried with them again but got no where and then one of my friends said that they were just rejecting everyone. So yeah that’s pretty much my night just getting shut down and drinking beers. Also i fucked up because i offered one of the girls a beer and i don’t know if you guys believe this but its pretty much like saying i’m a pussy and if i give you this gift will you stay with me. Thats what i beleive anyway.

    I would love some feedback or advice!!

  196. miko says:

    hi guys im sorry for what i said just did not mean sth bad to anyone i tried merely to answer what i understood it is was a question risen up explicitly to me that’s all but again im sorry.yeah i need to share too about my confidence dont k,ow but it seems but im always lost into my world which is not that wnderful that anyone can have im trying hard to find my reason but no way out.well MR broman i see your looking arround you to get your desire toward girls but not all the time what you know is the best way to get them cos maybe they’re familiar with them n got fed up try another style acts speech n see if it works

  197. Broman says:

    Hey Miko,

    Yeah i guess your right, i have to stand out from the other guys. I mean everyone starts conversations the same way. I can do a pretty cool trick with a zippo lighter which impresses everyone i see so maybe tonight i might use it to get into a group in the clubs. But make it fun so say hey if i can impress you you owe me a drink, deal??? I’m pretty keen to do it now. Last night i left my zippo at home and i was going to show a few people the trick, i feel naked without it now because its become a part of me just like my rings and bracelet :)

  198. liset says:

    correct me if im wrong or give me some advices please. my problem is that im so afraid to spak something out when im in school because my english is a second language to me, and I feel that my classmates will make fun about me.

  199. desdemona says:

    sir Oscar what do you rreally want to say that i have issue with “M” . i don’t wanna have any thoughts untill now. . alos i dont appreciate not facing me .believ me oscar i am not trying to defend anybody here i am not anybody’s lawyer. i don’t try to be sympathetic or nice or being a wamon at kin dof trying to understand and test my ability of respecting me if it was me to whom u responded the way u did i will never get into this site cus i will net feel comfortable as long as u don’t try see me. im disapointed cus i thought this site allow us to face each other but this thing i dunno whether it is fear of facing or . . i just dunno. but still i can say nothing more but thanks.

  200. desdemona says:

    absolutly right

  201. desdemona says:

    “picking up women!!!!!” interesting…let me ask u about this issue u have with “women”,as long as u try always to chase any chick you see at a party you’llnever be satisfied .i wish i am not interferring in ur personal stuff but “have u ever been left down by a woman” ,also have you ever had a specific wamon in ur life? why couldn”t u try to find one lady who can offer you all what u need “love ,carring,time,understanding. . .” u mentioned something like “rings bracelet..” what kind of styles u have.hip hop or punk or rock or hard or metal … or u can be simple. brief, what i try to say is that ,many girls seldom have that stereotype about appearances.look around you ,maybe outthere, there is someone who deosn’t mind to spend an honest ,serious time with you. i believ that trying to make urself famous and try to attract girls by showing them tricks or stuff like that absolutly will succeed .but it won’t last.if u r looking for love or a constant relation with an honest girl.this will be reached only if that girl loves you for who u are not for the tricks u can teling you this because changing girls like T-shirts or trying to spend time with any girl you meet always ends up with a frustrating and hopless look at things.don’t say that ur rejected by women .ofcourse not,because GOD created both men and women so as any one of them can think of words like ‘together .”me & you”.”, to allow each one of us to look for perfection in the other, that nobody can “be” without the other.but it requiereds time n experiences to find the one you think both of you belong to the same world. i hope what i said makes sense.
    and oneother thing broman ” women worth all what u can think of it possible to have them in ur armes even the impossible!!.because once they r in you’ll be treated the king of your era.”
    i believ my english in’t really correct but i guess the meaning can be deciphered.

  202. oscar says:

    OK! mona no one is even talking about you! “M” has issues. And now I trully believe so do you, you are a hostile person so keep my name out of your post. I already know your problem, and its attention defecit and paranoia, I could honestly careless about you now.

  203. d says:

    its all nonsense really. the mind loves imagination, creating stories.
    stop eating sugar

  204. desdemona says:

    narrow minded. nobody really is carring for each other here we all try to see ourselves in each one’s situation. i believ you are the one with limited self me you have problems. for me i am never ashamed of saying the truth. yes i have issues but i am proud i could talk about them im so proud i could make myself feel better .and all the crap u said, trust me will reinforce the idea that some people really lack something of being polite. . about your name.hehe it’s just a name who the hell cares about your name. i don’t log here to see names ,i read these comments to pick what’s good to me an dpost whan can be helpfull to some..true your name has been but will never be . holly cow you know my problem???!!! but plz tell me do you know urs ??? that’s a question u should think of . paranoia HAHAHA? no comment.listen let’s keep this blog clean and neat of small scummy missunderstandings like u try to creat.and carring or not carring its your own problem.if this will make you feel me i am the most pleased not having any response from you to any of my comments i’ll be so glad.but one thing.everyone should respect his limits.if you don’t mind no more “bla bla bla.for me i really wnt to apologize to this blog and express my deep sorry for things like these. because this blog aims to hold a group of people all together helping ad understanding each other .not focusing on black spots in everyone’s comment. thanks was nice, spending time with you all without exception. one other thing “good morals help to build one’s personnality “.

  205. desdemona says:

    narrow minded. nobody really is carring for each other here we all try to see ourselves in each one’s situation. i believ you are the one with limited self me you have problems. for me i am never ashamed of saying the truth. yes i have issues but i am proud i could talk about them im so proud i could make myself feel better .and all the crap u said, trust me will reinforce the idea that some people really lack something of being polite. . about your name.hehe it’s just a name who the hell cares about your name. i don’t log here to see names ,i read these comments to pick what’s good to me an dpost whan can be helpfull to some..true your name has been but will never be . holly cow you know my problem???!!! but plz tell me do you know urs ??? that’s a question u should think of . paranoia HAHAHA? no comment.listen let’s keep this blog clean and neat of small scummy missunderstandings like u try to creat.and carring or not carring its your own problem.if this will make you feel me i am the most pleased not having any response from you to any of my comments i’ll be so glad.but one thing.everyone should respect his limits.if you don’t mind no more “bla bla bla.for me i really wnt to apologize to this blog and express my deep sorry for things like these. because this blog aims to hold a group of people all together helping ad understanding each other .not focusing on black spots in everyone’s comment. thanks was nice, spending time with you all without exception. one other thing “good morals help to build one’s personnality

  206. Broman says:

    Hey Desdemona,

    I understand what you are saying about searching for just one girl and being in a long term relationship but I’ve thought about it and its just something that doesn’t really appeal to me at the moment. You asked if i’ve ever been let down by a women and yes i have but i believe its something which happens to everyone who’s ever been in a relationship and its never been anything which has left me bitter or anything like that :)

    I can’t really think of a way to describe my style but i think its sort of says that i want to party and have fun and i also believe that it gives people a sense of my personality without me having to say a word.

    And i also realise that the tricks are just a way of getting into a conversation with someone and then letting your personality come forth.

  207. desdemona says:

    well broman i wish you all the best.

  208. Rabab says:

    According to me, self confidence is must in every individual, as it tells not only to you but the infront person who is watching you that how much you are living life fully.
    living life is another thing and loving life is another. if you have confidence on you to make a difference you love yourself, or life will become only a journey.

    the steps given above are really important to build up confidence in all aspects like walt, talk, speech or whatever.

    a small suggestion to all the readers of this article, please apply all possible ways to make you confident.

    enjoy life. allah hafiz

  209. Saniya says:

    I agree with you Rabab.

  210. d says:

    i suppose you can pretend to be confident. but it doesnt work… not until you come to realise that you already are confident

    as i think a few people mentioned earlier on this board -i dont think you can learn to be confident by applying these things. you have to BE confident in order for these things to happen.

    in other words all these things may be things that describe what a confident person may do but not that what creates them.

  211. desdemona says:

    in my very first posts .i was so desperat and so needy for help.but if you have the will to change to the better ofcourse .you will absolutly do it.i am till working on myself .but i noticed that the offspring of selfconfidence is just like rabab said “it is a must in every indidvidual”. i believ that first thing in building one’s self confidence is to be sure of what he or she is doing.for instance. when u doubt about sth .just don’t do it.and be confident that every choice u make is what u r poetive it is good for your ownself.adopting these tips given pretty helpful.but you have to watch out not to forget who you really are deep inside .learn how to be brave to defend your actions.u don’t really have to justify what u r or what u it simple. accept yourself the way GOD had created you.and always remember that every creature has what makes it be proud of what you have special in you. don’t wait for the external world to deliver it to you . wherever you are keep your head up high.and show the world all the modesty GOD has put in.just be human and be yourself.and if selfconfidence is for some based on what the other sees in you. then working on the appearance and visual stuff would do it.God bless you all.

  212. d says:

    i do not agree with looking for GOD as the answer;
    however everyone of us is different, and as you say, different people need different stimuli to find the answer.

  213. desdemona says:

    absolutly being diffrent is the answer to the mistery of the harmony GOD had put in his creatures.and i repsect being disagreed.BUT what i this thing that you really don’t appreciate in having god as part of the answer. i just couldn’t see your stance.

  214. aleksandar says:

    Well, what you gave us in the post is 10 great advices how to appear self-confident to others… in other words useless marketing bullshit… walk faster, sit in the front row…sheesh, give me a break…

  215. welfraid says:

    i dont think so
    as it depends what you think while you walk..

    first attitude
    if you think tht u are going hurry somewhere; thn tht wnt hlp u as it passes a sense of inferiority in u.
    bcoz if u were to be superior than u are nt answerabe to anyone

    secoend attitude
    u think tht u are goning for an innovation[accepting the fact tht u are most worthiest man on planet] at that time no one can stop u from becoming a highly confident person

  216. J says:

    Nobody is going to make fun of you for not speaking perfect English. And anyone who does is immature and not worth your time. Everyone who learns a language has to begin somewhere, and it takes a long time to become fluent and able to speak like a native speaker. Most people will appreciate your effort and overlook your mistakes, some will correct you (don’t feel bad – if they’re being polite about it, they’re trying to help), and some people will even find you endearing. Don’t forget that the more you practice, the better you will become.

  217. desdemona says:


  218. Corey says:

    Young People tend to think that the world revolves around them to help boost themselves. imagine how they would feel if you were always bullied at school or at home and at work.
    instead, young people do subconcious things to help themselves and i feel like people should live by the motto: “Think Before you speak”, but no one does that anymore really

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  220. kelvin says:


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  222. it’s funny how with self confidence, if you fake it for long enough by your apperance and doing things that people with high self confidence do, you actually start to feel more confident for real.

    I’m also into self improvement and discuss it on my blog, come check it out if you have a chance.

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  225. Taylor Bee says:

    Look, we all can pretend all we want to say that “Oh, yeah, listen to some music” or “Oh, yeah, believe in yourself”. But you all know that is a bunch of crap and wenever do that.

    What are we always running around the house saying?

    How does my hair look?

    Do I have something on my shirt?


    And people do look at the clothes a lot.

    So maybe clothes don;t make the man…
    but you’re sure right about they make you feel good!

  226. d says:

    the more you try different things and realise you have all the time in the world to do what you want… the more you’l be free from apparent lack of confidence

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  229. ANGELA says:

    well i think ur right
    come on i mean im one of those people…I GO CRAZY.

  230. desdemona says:

    eye contact is truly important i tottaly agree.

  231. rhevz says:

    My future father in law gave this website with me because I am having a problem regarding myself confidence…I’m sure I starting to like this page and I will learn a lot from it…got cha!

  232. Anna says:

    I improved my self confidence by the great book Speak as a Spokesman on
    Try it.

  233. Tao says:

    The Tao states: Care about people’s approval
    and you will be their prisoner.
    Do your work, then step back.
    The only path to serenity.

    There is no reason not to strive to be your best. We grow with our

    He who clings to his work
    will create nothing that endures.

    There is a time for being ahead,
    a time for being behind;
    a time for being in motion,
    a time for being at rest;
    a time for being vigorous,
    a time for being exhausted;
    a time for being safe,
    a time for being in danger.

    Because he believes in himself,
    he doesn’t try to convince others.
    Because he is content with himself,
    he doesn’t need others’ approval.
    Because he accepts himself,
    the whole world accepts him.

    The great Tao flows everywhere.
    All things are born from it,
    yet it doesn’t create them.
    It pours itself into its work,
    yet it makes no claim.
    It nourishes infinite worlds,
    yet it doesn’t hold on to them.
    Since it is merged with all things
    and hidden in their hearts,
    it can be called humble.
    Since all things vanish into it
    and it alone endures,
    it can be called great.
    It isn’t aware of its greatness;
    thus it is truly great.

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  236. rich says:

    its about moderation,not too fast ,nor too slow,if we go by speed,someone running,then will be said to have a higer self confidence,Thats not the case,

  237. One of the best ways to learn how to be self confident is the military, especially the Marine Corps. If you can get through basic and the rest, you will find yourself full of confidence in yourself.

  238. shashank says:

    I really thanks to all these above comments which really help me to strive on self confidence but my problem is something different as english is second language for me as well this is an international language so i have to use it very precautiously so no one laugh at me and at this age i think i have to speak in good manner what i am using should be goood enough to talk about
    so pls give some comments regarding this subject as this demotivates me and decrease my self confidence

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  241. Lily says:

    I believe walking fast does depict confidence. When you walk faster you have a drive to get more things accomplished and by accomplishing more things you possibly run into more people, you have brief converstations with each person, and the conversations that you have with each person are just feedback and confirmation that you are a very important person. These converstations usually consist of what is on your agenda and getting to know the other person’s agenda as well.

  242. I enjoyed reading about your tips on self confidence. For me, I haven’t always been confident. In high school I was extremely shy. I slouched and was not proactive. I was this way because I knew of no other way to be. Later on in life, what has helped me is finding my purpose in life and making the decision to be confident and successful. I am amazed that by making a simple decision to pursue success that my confidence is also increasing. By taking steps in life to find your purpose, believe in yourself, build yourself up, and give back to other people, you will then begin finding confidence. Ultimately, make the choice to take life head on and don’t look back.

  243. Finding Confidence – take the time to research, and then make a decision to be confident. Stand up and say, “I am confident”. Then act confident. Believe in yourself. I believe anyone can be confident if they simply choose to be and take the steps necessary to become so.

  244. P.S. Look at examples of confident and successful people. They are proactive and go-getters. “The Rock”, “Bill Gates”, “Michael Jordan” just to name a few.

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  250. sevil says:

    i think i dont have enough self confidence to make friends and the worse thing is that i think i am not attractive to my friends.i am a youngh girl and i need to be attractive especially to my boy friend i would be grateful if you help me

  251. sevil says:

    i think i dont have enough self confidence to make friends and the worse thing is that i think i am not attractive to my friends.i am a youngh girl and i need to be attractive especially to my boy friend i will be grateful if you help me

  252. sevil says:

    i realy enjoyed your 10ways to instantly build self confidence i am trying to be more confident but i need a help because lack of self confident makes me feel that i am not attractive to my friends especially to my male frinds im a young girl and need to be attractive

  253. Broman says:

    Hi Sevil, if you have a boyfriend already then obviously he has found you attractive in some way otherwise he wouldn’t be with you. We all tend to think that people are judging us but when you think about it how much do you judge other people … my bet is you hardly ever do, i know i don’t. So if no one is judging you then you have nothing to worry about. Also having a boyfriend should give you a fair indicator that your an attractive person.

    Hope this helps :)

  254. Broman says:

    You have to remember that this is how to INSTANTLY build self confidence not how to become a confident person. To me personally this article contains some valuable information, such as; dressing well, having good posture and being grateful for who you are as a person.

    Dressing well: It goes without saying that you should have pride in your appearance. Often the clothes your wearing, the way you have your hair, or your smell (wearing colognes and perfumes) has a dramatic impact on the overall way you feel about yourself. I spend a fair bit of time everyday working on my appearance. I wear nice clothes (this does not mean expensive clothes or brand name clothes), i wear a cologne (Reaction Thermal by Keneth Cole), i style my hair with Gel or wax and i make sure that i am clean shaven and my teeth brushed. After this i feel great.

    Good posture: I’d like to change this a little and say have good body language, there are many books on the topic and one i have read is by alan and barbara pearce. It says that something like 70 percent of what we portray is non verbal. Like when you say you felt a vibe that someone was angry with you or attracted to you it was more than likely because of their body language.

    Being Grateful: Perhaps grateful is a bit over the top, you can’t be happy with everything about yourself. I believe this is impossible. But you can accept who you are. This will dramatically change your thinking and self confidence. If your a bit over weight you accept it. You might not like it but you acknowledge that its a problem. When you come to a stage of self acceptance you will feel better about yourself. Maybe not because you have a problem but because you acknowledge it is a problem or maybe it isn’t a problem and by focusing your attention on it you can come to this realisation.

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  257. leila says:

    please give me a practical advice.i have a suiter in university who isnt a logical boy he loves me for 4 years but after 1.5 years i feel that he isnt suitable for me but from that time up to now i cant undrestand him that i dont like to speak with him and when he want to talk with me i cant do anything and when i escape from him he follow me and can find me and can stop me every where.

  258. sevil says:

    thanks Broman your reply made me very happy especially your well dressing advice it is a really practical one but i dont have boyfriend

  259. selo says:

    dear leila escaping will never solve your problem try to talk with him and explain that you can not be happy couples and frankly tell him you dont like him as a husband let him understand your feeling about himself

  260. Broman says:

    Yeah thats ok. I’m only 18 at the moment and i’m doing the single thing by choice :)

    Next time you see a guy that you think you want to be with instead of focusing on all his good characteristics focus on the bad ones. It will give you a confidence boost because you then realise that he has faults just like everyone else.

  261. sevil says:

    hi broman to be honest,your suggestions works very well,at least they are so usefull for me thanks

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  264. Fantastic and thoughtful post on how to bhild confidence.

  265. bob says:

    all of your fellow classmates will respect you 50 tmes more then they already do if you speak out. most of them probably dont say anything in class, and when they see a forgein person speakng about something in a language they know all too well – theyll be impressed.


  267. skeeter says:

    Self confidence is great! My confidence was quite low, but i thought it was ok, because i had some. But i got a little confidence and it got a good response and i felt great for a week, now i am slowly building my confidence and being the person i want to be. Music helps alot for some reason, buying clothes help aswell. If these material things help to build your great personality that you and everyone likes, then why not.

  268. kara says:

    hi can some one please help me.
    i havent had a job for 2 yrs i have no confidece what so ever i dont like going out side my front door i have scars on my arm from where i was self harming and i dont want people to see i want to get a job but i fail underpressure and i cant wear short sleeves b’coz of my scars lately i been thinking if i dont do some thing now i will end up on my own for ever jobless and just living in my bedroom i havent been out sit for 2yrs and im only 19 please some one help me!!!

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  270. Kelly says:

    Why is it sad? It’s a good place for people to read about feeling better, especially those who don’t have strong support groups and have spent a good chunk of their lives being abused emotionally and/or physically. Now, I’m sure you can think of a few hurdles you couldn’t do on your own and asked for advice. It’s the same thing. I think it’s sad that people are knocked on in the manner that forces them to have low self-confidence. I believe they can find faith in themselves. First, they need realize though that they’ve just had negative re-inforcements. Then they can realize those people are negative towards themselves first. It’s like that old english proverb, If you have one rotten apple in the bag, it spoils the rest.

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  273. Tyler says:

    I tend to be able to speak out with a small group of friends that i feel comfartable around but when it comes to other groupsof people which i often find myself doing ifeel uncomfartable and barley say a word and people notice that and say stuff to me and i dont really express myself and say somthing back i say yes or no answers. If i used to hangout with another group and then i will go to another and i hangout with the old group i feel weird and dont want to talk. What should i do?

  274. Robert says:

    Those who say these tips don’t work are wrong. Self confidence is all about how you feel. These things will help make you feel better about yourself, and when you feel good, good things happen to you.

  275. jeff says:

    do not fear better days will come. put yourself out there and hopefully people will see the great person inside rather than the scars on your arms. that are obviously apart of your past. :)

  276. sathya says:

    thank you all

  277. Bongani says:

    This is great and it inspires me a lot, i have just subscribed to this website and foud this very helpful and uplifting. Neatness, tidyiness and my outer-look has an impact to my self-comfidence. I get often discouraged wheni get negative comments about the colour selection of my clothes. I am an individual that is not fond of bright colours, i don’t know why people are always judgemental. Inner-talk helps me a lot to boost my confidence through any challenge that i am facing whether work or personal related.

  278. Monkey says:

    t’s a hard thing to explain but it has to do the way you were raised and what things u were allowed to do…and also people believing in u.
    if ur parents always gave u bad comments about wat u do and stuff of course u lose self confidance.
    i say fuck what people say and do what u want, if its “wrong” and people said why u did it, say” because i can…..bitch”

  279. Dr. Eugene Walton says:

    Can you improve your child’s self image for $15.90? YES YOU CAN. And here’s how in two easy steps:

    Step 1: Get the two session video “Programming Your Own Self Image” and study it for yourself. (You cannot teach what you do not know. You cannot lead where you do not go!)
    Download this 26 min. video for $9.95.

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    Download this 22 pp. Parent’s Guide for $5.95.

    Get both resources from Eugene Walton’s Storefront at:

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  283. I Really like this Boy called Tom and he recently asked me to meet up with him and i was really down because i didnt want hi to be dissappointed with what he saw – but the speech idea really worked for me and now i cant wait to see him! x

  284. Glen Allsopp says:

    I definitely agree with number 8 but I’m not too sure about number 2. Confident people have a certain pride in their step but not necessarily fast walkers. More a normal, positive stride from what I’ve noticed.

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  286. JOnathan says:

    That was acually the most interesting thing when I read that, because I acually just came from the supermarket and when I went in this peticular time, I knew beforehand what I wanted and it was just 2 things, but get this, the interesting thing was that from the time I got out of the car I realized that I was projecting confidence by the way I was walking cuse I had something to do and was going straight for it. Now, weather conciously thinking it, or subconciously, I realized it therefore upon the realization, my confedence was even boosted more. but either way i knew it and it was surpizing to read that after that just happening

    But at the same time, when I went to ask for help from the one girl, n she was kinda cute, I didnt have that same confidence.

    so anyway if your wondering how such the coincidence,
    well when I got home I googled the word “Confidence” so thats how I got here. Cuse I said to myself I said “self” your gonna get so self confidence.

    And I believe that anything you want can and is possible to be attained but you need first to want it, then you need info., then you gotta disipline yourself, to what degree, I guess depends on how much you want it and how enjoyable it is for you.

    ok way too much writing, but n e way i its interesting youll read it. so why am I writing this well… I guess i thought it might possible be might help someone out. You know im putting the 10 things into practice. thinking on others. and heck, I just felt like writing.

    some feedback… “I feel you”, “ok” “interesting”, “shut up” you know anything.

  287. JOnathan says:

    well i dont know how you tell yourself your not attractive cuse that just can’t be true. You are attractive to God, cuse he made you. And God himself said that you were fearfully and wonderfully made and knowing just that, that theres a God closer than far, thats loves you more than the beautiful earth He created, so much that on account of us He sent here to this earth His own Son, to die on account of us because we are born into sin. And that through Him, His Son, soly on believe in him, we are given eternal Life instead of the jugment and wrath of God and it is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

    But if you were the only person to have ever lived, He still would have went through all the suffering and punishment, for you.

    So with that kind of Love aimed at us, we should never think of ourselves as unatractive.

  288. K.Venkatesh says:

    dear All,

    As 31 years male fellow i have tried number of times to build self confidence by way of self motivation that is my past expiriance etc., but it is in vain. Pls anybody tell me how to improve self confidance because as a managerial cader i have to supervise no of peoples, for this cause iam loosing my value with my subordinates

  289. Great articles and clears steps on building self confidence. We have to implement it after reading it!

  290. Althea says:

    I don’t agree with the walking faster bit. I suffer from social phobia, and whenever I’m on the street (very seldom) I tend to walk very fast, so that whatever it is I’m doing (e.g. going to the store, work, etc) will be over as soon as possible. I also do so because it gives me the impression that if I walk fast, nobody will have time to notice me.

  291. stanley says:

    hey, u know what that’s called, spotlight effect…i read abt that in a newspaper in india b4 i came here to san francisco…its a feeling u get that everyone on the street is looking at YOU ONLY and u feel very conscious abt urself that way…i had that problem too back home..sometimes do feel that way here too..but i guess over time u get over it…. cheers :-)

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  293. Stephen says:

    Hi Kara, I am really suprised to see so many people here all looking for the same thing …. It relieves me to see that i’m not the only one with this problem …. I think we should be supportive with each other … Well i dont dare talk about it with people in my daily life because you cant trust that they will be supportive about it …
    There should be some way we could build a support group with those who are willing …. I think its worth a try …

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  295. Maher says:

    Hello. Well, I’d like to know if there are any strategies for a good way of communicating in society: how to express things in an attractive persuacive way… How to control the voice, the tone, the volume, the vocabulary.. Thanks in advance

  296. Gracjan says:

    It’s a combination of walking fast and having a posture (shoulders up, etc.) Think about walking fast, energetic with your shoulders up and ‘confident,’ as opposed to walking slow and confident, as you don’t give a damn, or fast with your shoulders down and hunched over, obligated to get places in time. Hope all you see the point – I’m new to this. G.

  297. Confidence says:

    I run a dating advice company and this article is actually pretty accurate, unlike many I find on the internet

  298. zoe says:

    I’m just trying to glean from this~ and wondering how to build from the ground up, basically. The last few years I’ve almost completely lost my mobility. I can’t drive, can only walk about 30 paces with a cane, wear a neck brace, ect. and live in a very isolated place.

    I don’t have many opportunities to interact with people in real time anymore. My self confidence is constantly bombarded by terrible doctors who don’t want to take the time to understand my rare conditions (and for 20 years told me they were all in my head)

    I used to enjoy a lot of activity, taught yoga and loved being athletic and out-going. Now I’m basically trapped most of the time and a burden to the people who agree to help me out- I can work on keeping a grateful heart and focus on my artistic gifts, but isolation just isn’t doing anything for my self confidence, which was never really very great to begin with, especially considering that I do have a mental disorder as well.

    Is there a site you can direct me to for disabled people in regards to building confidence? I came here by way of a site on depression- and I imagine if I felt some self confidence I wouldn’t be depressed!

    Anyway, thanks for listening.
    From somewhere over the rainbow~

  299. Kevin says:

    Very nice article. For years, I have struggled with self-confidence. Just today, I have notice myself having the slump shoulders, walking slowly, etc. I have put myself on notice for doing things like that.

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  301. SREE says:

    Good….)- everybody should have self confidence, then the world will turn and see U. This article is very excellent unlike other. The 10 tips are very nice, it shows that v should create more self confidence in us…

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  303. Ariella says:

    I loved what your wrote.

    Keep doing it.



  304. Another great article on building confidence.

  305. hani mikati says:

    it is good for writting home work

  306. farouk says:

    10 out of 10, wonderful article :)

  307. Wonder Wyant says:

    “However, if John Wesley over at Pick The Brain is right and “(s)elf confidence is the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared out of your wits”, I might still have a problem :)

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  312. Sara says:

    I definitely agree with you. You cannot veil what is real. What you can do, however, is take a proactive approach. Sometimes it makes sense for our body to lead our emotions and thinking. Think about it: if you are sad, you can keep being sad or you can watch a comedy. I would love for you to check out my blog at

  313. Self confidence is having faith in yourself and your ability to handle whatever situations are presented to you. You are blessed with freedom from doubt in yourself.
    If you have faith in yourself, you are able to laugh at yourself. You trust and believe that you’ll be able to deal with whatever life throws you, good or bad. If you know what you want and where you’re trying to go, you have self confidence. If you stay calm under pressure, because you know it’s only a matter of time until you figure out what to do, you have self confidence. Another good indicator of having adequate confidence is a sense of purpose and a willingness to take risks.

    The amount of success you achieve in life has a lot to do with how much self confidence you have. Making the decision to work at improving your self confidence could be the most important decision you ever make.

    Life is a wonderful journey. So, enjoy it my friend

  314. Definitely a great start for some one who lacks much self confidence. For number two; at some point in their life they had to walk “fast” to be able to walk slow.

  315. Michelle says:

    Great pointers for anyone in need of help with their confidence.

    I think dressing sharp is a good point – if you know you look good, you feel good!

  316. Trust yourself. Act on that instinct and get to know yourself. Once you are comfortable with you, you can be comfortable with anything.

    Knowing yourself and understanding yourself will give you an internal place of refuge when there is no other place to go.

  317. soundwave86 says:

    agree! know thyself
    it may take some doing if you are covered in bad habits and covered up sense of self. but once you get there anything is possible

  318. Like previous commenters I would agree that some of these tips will work for some people in some situations, but none of them are likely to work for everyone, all the time (that’s life…).

    Thing is, we’re all different and the situations that make us lack confidence are different, so there is no cure-all. But that doesn’t make the tips any less valid.
    I think dressing well CAN boost your self confidence, but I think it’s more about finding styles that suit you and make you feel good, rather than watching the latest trends. When I was working there were certain things I would choose to wear when I knew I was in for a difficult day and wanted to boost my confidence.

    Not everyone who follows fashion looks good! And the fact that famous people dress very badly at times yet still ooze self confidence shows it’s all relative.

    Another tip I picked up years ago was to stand up if you’re making an important or difficult phone call as it makes you feel more confident about it.

    If you have mastered a skill to any degree, whatever it is, it will boost your self confidence because it’s something you know you can do successfully.

    And if you lack confidence in social situations try focussing on the other person and asking them about themself. It takes the pressure off worrying about yourself.

    Examples of extremes from my own experience:

    I’ve stood up in front of a couple of hundred parents – without much notice – and advised them how their children should choose school subjects, without batting an eyelid.

    Then at the start of 2008 I moved to Greece with my partner, and this usually confident person suddenly got nervous about even going to the local supermarket on her own. I was in a new environment that I was struggling to get to grips with, and things that hadn’t been a problem before suddenly were.

  319. Rob Taylor says:

    Great tips. Thanks a bunch. :)

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  321. farhan says:

    Hy i am farhan from pakistan,and my national language is urdu so it is hard for me to speak a right english and i lose my confidence infront of other who is a good english speaker

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  323. Tanya says:

    Im Tanya and im 19 years old,I live in Nova Scotia Canada.Self Confidence is having eye contact,having a friend saying to show you can.Helping an alcohol,without judgement,Im not alcoholic.Helping people become open minded.Helping people look on the inside instead of looking outside.Its important to love your imperfections.
    Its good to take a hobbie,art,sing,smile and look in the miror and say I love you!!!Good Hygene is important.,Im still working on it.Treat yourself for a bubble bath.Im not always right or wrong.Dont follow me.Just be yourself then you will have the self confidence.But most of all God will make you shine your confidence.

    love always Tanya

  324. Tanya says:

    Do not hold grudges,and people should not haunt the past in your face!!!!!


    Im not a true Christian,but I love God..but not as much as i should.

  325. Tanya says:

    Drinking alcohol relaxes you,But dont become an alcoholic.If you cut down on it,It will change your self confidence.I just worry about the world.I love money,but there are down sides and good sides.The good sides is you buy alot of things like cell phones,Cds,give to the poor.But money is not the true happiness,Its about being a good person trying to be nice.Its important to have a good job that supports the family.Dont have to listen me just understand that its from my heart.
    love Tanya

    love Tanya

  326. Tanya says:

    Down sides of money

    jealousy greed

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  328. Relax says:

    I think substance helps a lot in giving confidence, such as having abundance of knowledge and experience.

    You know what you do, if not, your head will be down. :)

    I would do more and learn more to have my head up toward the sky!

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  331. Sophia Loren once said, “Getting ahead in a difficult profession requires avid faith in yourself. That is why some people with mediocre talent, but with great inner drive, go so much further than people with vastly superior talent.”

    I love your mention of Gratitude. It has a magic beyond imagination. Great post. Thank you.

  332. Gunas says:

    Style, Physical Fitness, Walking, Dressing sense… if all this matters means everyone can easily build their confidence…

  333. SQ says:


    It’s really amazing to read different people’s perspective and point of views .. everyone see the world from a different angle .. from a different point ..

    I like the 4th piont (Personla Commercia) .. Keep reminding yourself of what u have accomplished in the past years .. motivate ur self .. n -take this advice from me- DO NOT WAIT FOR A MOTIVATION FROM OTHERS .. coz u’ll be w8ing for ever !! .. if u want somethin .. get it ur self !

    I do consider my self as confidence .. I wasnt suprised when I read this artical since I’ve been practicing all the 10 points since I was 11 years old ! (thanx to dad)

    I learned that we shouldnt spend time thinking about wt people r thinking abt us ! .. if we want people to accept us .. then we should accept ourselfes first !

    OK .. am sounding like Dr.Phill now .. lol 😛

    Anyway .. Thanks for the artical .. n thanks for every1

  334. alleah says:

    I resent that last one … I dont always concentrate on myself in fact i think more about others than i do myself. (you spelled “your” wrong in step 10) Thanks for the tips! :)

  335. Crambert Olsonater says:

    Dressing sharp sure does get me sucked everynight.

  336. Darlene says:

    I have always done better in life when I was at a “confidence high”. However, the key to my successful living relies on being able to maintain that confidence during stressful life situations. We all have problems now and again and maintaining myself through physical exercise, appearance, believing in my abilities, etc. has really helped me get back on track so to speak.

  337. Richard says:

    Well,you see in my situation. I thought I lost self-confidence. When I indeed never had any. I started school in September and I was very loving nad very social. But after some time. A kid got transfered to my class and well he started being nasty to me. You see,I’m openly gay. And It seemed that this kid was homophobic. and on the SECOND week of school. Everything changed for me. i was picked to be in his grouped and he was angry and fustrated that he had to work with me. He through a fit. Which made me feee like nothing. Then the next week he make friends with this other kid in my class. Imagine how they become friends. He became friends with the other kid by talking about me. And after he made this group,which all of them picked on me. Well,behind my back. Not to my face. Each time I turned around they stopped talking and they looked downed.I was frequently absent to school. My fear was to get talked about. Or to see them. I actually cared for what they say.And I still do to some very small extent. But I’m working on it.Through vacation. I did a huge improvement on myself. And I learn how to self-accept myself. And I’n still going to the struggle . But I’m still reaching for my dreams and finding the light at the end of the tunnel.
    Alot of seen my improvement. But I still not on what I want. But I have to keep going and I will see if this steps will help me more.
    P.S. I’m doing alot better in school and I’m not going to fall like I did before.
    Richard :))

  338. Hemlata S says:

    Very well written. You have described each point very nicely. The most important part is “TRUST YOURSELF”. Say you are the “BEST”.

  339. samirfg says:

    I have always a cronic anxiety.I fell something pinch me in the back if I am among group of peaople in social activities and sometimes certain situations make me panic ,I do not what to do .I sometimes believe the avoidance of people is the best solution,any body can help me,????

  340. Pedro says:

    Hahaha, true that my good sir, well said 😉

  341. joe says:

    I’ve lived on this Earth for 56 years and can tell you that there are only 2 factors that influence how you feel about yourself. One is how you look and the other is the KNOWLEDGE of how other people know you look. There is a famous tip that I recall from some unknown source. It tells you how to feel confident when standing in front of an audience of other people who are listening to you…… imagine them all naked.That might work if you have the body of a Greek god but if you have the body of a geek or you are fat it doesn’t work does it.? If like me you are a thin boned skinny guy then any body looks superior to yours.Does that matter? Hell yes , especially in today’s body conscious society. Oh listen…Ispent years trying to convince my 2 daughters that they need’t spend hours in front of a mirror angsting over their looks because everybody else was so busy doing the same thing that they wouldn’t be noticed. Truth is I was lying. People DO look at you and compare your looks to theirs. People ARE repulsed by people who do not live up the now accepted norm of beauty….they just don’t show it. How do Iknow this .because these same people would, if allowed rush outside and roll around in the newly fallen snow or autumn leaves just like kids…if they knew they could get away with it. We are all just children…we just suppress our instinct to behave like one when we mature..but it,s still there.

  342. John says:

    I think this article hits it on the head as far as what we can do which is in our control. The only other options are ingesting chemicals and most people dont need to do that.

    I started my website,, because I wanted to help people with their conversation confidence. Check it out and let me know what you think.

  343. Alessi says:

    These are all good tips. If any of you are interested in more inspirational articles, visit Joan Marie Whelan’s blog. Joan Marie is an amazing life coach who has helped me through a lot of difficult times. i encourage all of you to check out her site!

  344. Beverly says:

    I feel like i need to boost my self confidence. I read this article and I walk fast naturally, I always make it a point to sit up straight to the extent of people complimenting me on it. Although somethings in life get me down, I’m aware of the fact that I am very lucky and greatful for all that is around me. I compliment other people all the time as a few positive words don’t cost me anything but can make someone else’s day and I feel that focusing on contribution not only tie’s in with gratitude and really does help us to appreciate what we have but it helps to bring me up when I am down.
    So why is it that I can’t seem to present myself well at interviews? I went for a job interview the other day and really wanted it. In the end someone else got it. I asked for feedback and the person said that they had nothing negative to say.. that i presented myself well and they found me very nice. I honestly think that it was my lack of enthusiasm. If I wasn’t so shy, I would have been a bit more bubbly and jumped up to show the person how much i wanted this job! But something was holding me back.. something was holding me down in that seat.

    I guess that I’ll read the other things in this article and try make the change.

    Thanks for listening

  345. Hemlata S. says:

    Hey Beverly,

    Please don’t underestimate yourself. Definitely there is some big opportunity for you and you have to show them that YOU are the BEST. Just face everything confidently.

    Wish you good luck for your future.

  346. Beverly says:

    Thank you Hemlata

    I appreciate your words :)

  347. Angela says:

    There are so many comments, I read many, but not all.
    I just left my new husband because of my dwindling confidence. I liked the article, but I liked what others shared more.
    The part about walking was interesting. I have a lot of pain when I walk and that wears on my confidence because I am not able to do what I love anymore with out pain. I also liked the part about not gossiping and being negative about others. I find that I do this a lot. Not meaning to, but more just for idle conversation. My husband would tell me not to, and I never realized until now how weak that does make a person seem. Although he did not help me to feel better about myself and often made me feel much worse, I enjoy thinking that he had a good point now.
    To those who are afraid to even go out, I wish you all the strength in this world. It is a dark and lonely place to not want to enjoy even a few moments outside your home.
    I think that the trick is to push yourself to. Even if everyone hates you, it is never about them… enjoying a few moments out of the day to smile and see the beauty that is there right in front of our noses is what is more important.
    I’m plagued with boredom, and a sullenness that often keeps me indoors, but I always feel a little bit better when I got out and breath fresh air.
    A serious problem I have is sometimes talking to people I know. I always feel awkward around others. I am a survivor of all sorts of abuse and I think that that is the reason why. Perhaps a trust issue?
    Does anyone have any suggestions to help me build self worth so that I’m not so uncomfortable sharing my time with people I like or already know. I always feel like such a burden. It is funny because I’m attractive and smart and funny, I even love to dress well and usually carry myself as though I’m very confident. Inside I just clam up if I have to get close to anyone.
    Thanks and Bless you all.

  348. Suzanne says:

    Confidence really helps with many different aspects of your life. It’s honestly one of the things in life that you must have.

    Great article!

  349. Mukesh says:

    Well i don’t think that Sharp Dress is a good idea to get self confident, Because If a person who is handling his office work from home no need to get Sharp dress…

  350. I would disagree with that Mukesh. When you dress up you feel good about yourself whether you are home working or out at an office. When you feel better about yourself you perform better as well.

  351. Jett Brenner says:

    Great article.

    Dressing up is so important! When you look good, you feel good. When you look great, you feel great! When you feel great you perform better in all areas of you life.

    It is imporant to dress well all the time so that you feel comfortable. It is easy to spot someone wearing a suit who is not used to it. Dress up often and you will be more comfortable. When you are comfortable you will be more confident. We all know how important it is to be confident!

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  353. Ayaz Khan says:

    Great Ways to increase your self confidence…I simply appreciate.

  354. Chamara says:

    This is just great..I love it.Thank you!!

  355. Kerry says:

    I have a problem that everytime i woke up for college i was feeling sick, and beeing sick everyday because of my nervs and because i wasnt that confident so now i have droped out of college, but now need a job and im scared that the same thing is going to happen before i go to work? any advice please!

  356. Tony says:

    Im not disagreeing with the 10 things, I think they could deffinatly help someone on the road to self confidence, just stating some personal thoughts.

    Ive been in a highly looked up to position,I have a thin tone muscular build from exercise,I walk fast,Have good posture,Have had many “female relations” and, I like the way I dress.

    At times Id feel on top of the world. Even mabe a little over confident.
    Some of these things have come and gone and come back but through it all I realized it wasnt confidence I was feeling……. it was EGO.
    Strip all or a few of these things away and you feel even worse.
    Ive came away with a new way of thinking. Im not going to be truly happy until I feel comfortable in my own skin,With or without clothes,alone or surrounded, accepted or completely un-understood and,at peace with my inner-self. To the point where the thought of having confidence or not never even crosses my mind.
    I enjoyed reading everyones opinions and on the road to inner peace I will practice steps #6 and #10.
    Thank you!

  357. Leo says:

    Hi Ron,
    I admire you comment a lot.
    The Objectivity of your analysis is very seducing.
    As to the content, i broadly agree with you.

  358. Ufaq says:

    thanks a lot … im gonna practice all the 10 of the above given points and would surely succeed in my life Thanks again

  359. Natalia says:

    I always give second thoughts to EVERYTHING! i’m always so scared to try new things and to challenge myself. I feel self confident at first but then i just lose it!

  360. Pingback: Overcoming Shyness on your First Date

  361. yara says:

    i care too much abt wut ppl think abt me!!help

  362. fikirte says:

    so how can i get the exact tought about this topic “self confidence” which is the best for me please contact me and i wanna to reach @ the exact tought for my life.

  363. ashish says:

    My problem is that i wanna do more things in life life n i can do also bt i dont wanna show to my family that i am smart worker in my field.i try to hide from my family that i am a very fast in my work.pls help me

  364. ashish says:

    jus try to find out that u wanna proof anything to ur family or

  365. makala96 says:

    hi its makala i like this webside

  366. John says:

    Hi, i read the page on how to be confident its just that i never feel confident even when things are good, could somebody please help me?

  367. sterndal says:


    nice tips :) from now on I’ll try to walk faster


  368. strodiggs says:

    Have you checked out the website:

    At the site you will find an excellent discussion on how to build self-confidence… or as J.D. Bloodstone puts it, “How To Shrink Your Fear & Enlarge Your Courage”. Check it out. This book will become a handbook for daily goal-striving.

  369. miha says:

    I always make an opinion about a person at first meet, an opinion that remains forever. that’s why I’m afraid always when I meet a person.I don’t want to desapoint so I prefer to not speak very much, and when I speak I say things usual, nothing important. Then I feel bad and my self respect is decreased. what u recomand me to do to disappear my fear?

  370. Pingback: 20 Ways to Build Self Confidence? — How to Have Great Self Confidence

  371. kieran says:

    i loved this it helped me within seconds, thanks:D

  372. jan says:

    Walk Faster is BS!!
    confident people walk slow, because they own their time!

  373. Great ideas. Lift up your chin, pull back your shoulder, stomach in and you already feel better.

    Exercise can help to build your confidence. There are certain hormones in the body that can be released by exercise and give you temporary “happiness”.

    I would add smile to the list. When you smile at somebody it’s hard not to get the same response back to your kindness and friendliness.

  374. Ella says:

    Heyah 😀
    Can anyone help me? I’m only 12, but I’m ver self-concious, The thing is, I over react. Like, for example, Boys, If i had to kiss one, i think “Wait, what if i do it worng, or if hee says something” .

    I think about whats going to happen and exagarate the situation. Please help me, I’m always scared of what other people think, and mainly because of my looks. Thanks for your help :) x

  375. Pingback: Ways To Build Self Confidence Instantly | Job Searching Blog

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  377. laksjfdlksajfdl says:

    kara dont be such an emo bitch Mmk?

  378. Pingback: 10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence | Christophe Joseph’s Everyday Personal Development Blog

  379. Sheri says:

    I’m not sure how good this is so late but the last comment you got was a bit much. And if that person was as tough as they made themselfs out to be they would have had a reply option on there comment. Forget people liek that. Lookinto yourself and give you a chance to go out and show poeple what you are about. There are people out there worse off so be thankful for that. Your scars dont make you who you are they just show a path that you had to go down to get ot the place your in. But it dosent mean that you will be in that place forever. Give life a chance to show you that it can get better. :)

  380. jimbob says:

    I saw a girl at wendys the other day with cutting scars all the way up her arms. like she had sliced across her arm all the way up. she was wearing short sleeves and she was working. she wasnt smiling but she had a job and was doing a good job. fast food is where to start if you need a job and have no confidence. the fast pace will keep your mind off of other things.

  381. casper says:

    I like your rule about being grateful. It would definitely help if we focus on positive things instead of judging ourselves and others in a situation.

  382. Demond says:

    What I’ve been saying recently is that you never really know what’s going to happen. There is just as much evidence that you will succeed than there is that you will fail. Since you cannot predict the future, predict your own future, take action and see your life change.

  383. yuforik says:

    I appreciate your forwardness in bringing the word ‘confidence’ up as a term in modern psychology and peoples lives and devaluing it by definition. I have not studied the etymology/linguistics of the term but personally feel that we jump to a concept of embodiment without acknowledging the greater picture/holisitic approach. This could lead to a religious or other intellectual self-knowledge awareness but the term of ‘confidence’ is so widely used that I don’t feel we can fully decipher between ego, emotion, authentic self, etc.

    There is that thought and truth within you that says go for it, be that strength … it is not power, it is not seeking power … it is the creator and all can prosper by feeling it and overlooking the simple linguistic terms our brain deciphers and place into commandments.

    Gratitude and honor to all posts, because without we couldn’t discover together.

    Peace and Joy,
    AKA yuforik

  384. Sah says:

    Good post.
    Personally I like the point in relation to contribution.
    If you constantly focus on and provide value to others, you will automatically gain cofidence.

  385. soorya says:

    I liked and agree with Chris’s comments.
    Long term confidence is something more valuable.

  386. nana says:

    i shake when i am reading in public. esp when am holding a

  387. asidis says:

    As a surfer i have many degress of selfconfidence they are the feeling of drowning , you may think it accours
    with big waves ,but that is not the case .I have been in situations of drowning at a safe beach break and other times getting dumped on waves that are large.

    I’m sorry if my not story is not releavent.
    The only thing thats gets me through the fear of
    drowning is not to pannic . I know it sounds weird .
    but in every situtation in life when i feel i need control . I push my fear a little harder.Please , fear is also good . Take each step at a time .
    I wish you all the best

  388. Andrew says:

    Well I do really have a big problem on self confidence, the fact that my girlfriend is talking with a new guy and she just says that he’s just a friend just make get jealous and feel me bad becuase I really think he’s looking in another guy who is giving more or i really dont know, I accept I’m a nice looking guy but i Really dont have self confidence.
    I hope somebody could help me

  389. elyas says:

    well , I just wanne say that you are not to be afraid on whats on your body, since there are so many people out there lookong what you have got in your mind or your internal beauty just make sure that you have a good heart.when evrer meeting a new people
    and be a strong girl mentaly and change this feeling in to some thing postice and powerful to come over
    and good luck.

  390. tiger says:

    I am not the most confident person at times even though I know that I am “worth it”. I don’t know why (well, i guess there are a million reasons, but I can’t seem to pick the right solution to it all) but sometimes, I just feel so insecure. I recently got a job at a really good company. It’s a very good job that I am proud to have gotten (I feel very lucky) and the people here are really terrific. I’ve never worked somewhere where the management didn’t have some sort of power trip. I’m treated as an equal – valuable to the company. I’ve been going to school for the past two years and now I have an internship with a terrific company in a perfect situation, but my insecurities are starting to come out. You know: I’m afraid to just be myself. To speak out of who I am without feeling scared. And the weird thing that I’ve noticed no matter who I am with is that when I start showing my insecurity, they start becoming insecure too. It’s like a disease and it prohibits people from enjoying life and the fun things in it. I don’t want to let this get the better of me now. I’m doing what I want to do and I feel so fortunate to be where I am. I’m going to do my homework so that eventually it will just be fun to be who I am, no matter who I’m around. Thank you everyone for what you’ve said – except of course the idiots who just enjoy mocking people.

  391. Rakoto says:

    Andrew, you have to increase your self-esteem, never think negatively about yourself,think that you are good enough for your girlfriend, and be sure that you are the one who can love her a lot, think about all your positive points, that would help you a lot.

    Avoid thinking negatively about yourself and not having self confidence, that will be frustrating yourself

    Hope this will help a little

  392. shreya says:

    just look above their heads and take a deep breath and remember u are faaar better off than the peopl who are sitting there who will get scared to death by the mere thought f holding a mike..u r more dynamic n confident person than many others sitting down there..

  393. andy says:

    im afraid to try new stuff say if im doing a sport i hate messing up and if i wanna try something i get to scared and hesitant i either dont doit or i just dont give it my all and get hurt or mess up again.

  394. teeheng says:

    here has another 10 tips for confidence. let check it out.

  395. Biryomuruwe Joshua says:

    Anyway Jimmy j have appreciated your advice;surely devorting to Jesus, is the only standing way to succeed in life, as he clearly say,’am the way, truth and the life’ actualy to have confidence, u have to be possesing life and Jesus is life. Brotheren let us take JESUS as our immediate kin and others will follow.keep up to JESUS.

  396. Jim Campbell says:

    This is really, really good advice; things we should all be paying attention to for ourselves and sharing especially with children.

    Thank you very much for the reminder.

  397. kishie says:

    good stuff…

  398. Kanak says:

    I read all the stuff in this entire site. It was really helpful. Keep up the good work.

  399. Aditya says:

    Very good tips to groom a person. I will try to apply them in my life periods. Thanks

  400. rama says:

    I perfectly agree with you that perception is reality—how you see yourself will most definitely be how others will see you and how people see you equates to how much they will respect you. Thank you for your tips on how to improve self-confidence! It’s amazing how we can actually build self-confidence by modifying our behavior. True, these strategies entail discipline, but hey, improving self confidence is surely our ticket to success—and I guess anyone would agree that a few lifestyle checks would definitely be worth it, especially if it’s your whole life on the line.

  401. sarah says:

    am not confident enough, most of the time am talking I fear the confusion of R and L, this makes me feel bad I tend to talk less, making me uncomfortable

  402. I was once a timid, anxious , scared yong woman, who would always sit in a corner and not say a word.
    At the age of 30 that changed, I decided to walk through the TERROR BARRIER and I got CONFIDENCE on the other side.
    I now equip, encourage and empower individuals to get the same personal power.


    To your SUCCESS!

  403. Karissa says:

    thanks for this !
    it really helps out a lot.

  404. I believe very STRONGLY that PURE CONFIDENCE COMES from taking ACTION. Courses are great, however I teach clients how to step into their personal POWER and stay there.

    You can too, if you want me to work with you, I can , I have been there , so I can resonate with how you FEEL.
    I have ovecome and am soaring with CONFIDENCE and SELF BELIEF!

    To your SUCCESS!

  405. Pmalik says:

    i am a student and i just moved to usa and for the time i have been here i am realising that i am very bad at english well actually i can speak english in my mind but when it comes to speaking to other person i am all gone, i cannot find what to say and whenever i try to speak i always and ya always i speak up wrong and stupid, i know it is because of lack of self-confidence but what should i do i have tried for like hundred times to get over my this fear or phobia whatever and i can feel that i cannot survive here… or anywhere without this language…. unless i learn to open up and get over my fear. please help me out..

  406. You must FEEL THE FEAR and DO IT ANYWAY, Susan Jeffers.
    Take COURAGE and step out.
    Your CONFIDENCE will then be birthed into your personal power.

  407. Pingback: How to make true friends - part 5 - Getting out of self deprecating mode | Change your thoughts

  408. scott says:

    ok,so i kind have a fear of talking to new people and like opening up to people, especaily like when i meet a new girl or a girl i like then just blush or get nervous an don’t know what to say plz help thanks

  409. vangie says:

    i do the same thing

  410. S. says:

    well i didnt read all of posts, but its interesting though. I wonder what does it depend on. I mean a real super stable selfconfidence. cuz i felt very confident sometimes, but it goes away. dont know how to make it stable. and ps for all who think they are not good looking so they dont have high self confidence> first, good looking is not prerequisite for good self confidence but just the opposite!!! trust me, when i look back at “pretty” ppl in my life i can see that they were all just really self confident but most of them not really pretty, and this guy i know, he is a cripple and very much not so pretty, but he is probably one of the most selfconfident ppl i know and i tell you, he probably had more chicks than some stunning looking guys. just because he really belives in himself…..still i wonder, what is it based on??

  411. Pingback: 42 Ways I’m going to make my 2009 Awesome… | Master Your Card

  412. This an excellent post. Building confidence actually comes from doing. Like they say “act like a man of thought”. So if you have a fear of rejection and feel inferior to anyone or any task that you have in your way.

    Just act! By just acting you dissolve the fear with in your conscious mind and start to grow into a confident individual.

  413. Confidence is a HUGE area, however it usually comes down to two BELIEFS…
    Can I do it?
    Am good ENOUGH?
    f you keep walking through your fear, keepm taking action.
    Or hire someone to walk you through your barriers, then let them come down and you walk in your own POWER.

  414. Pingback: 42 Ways I’m going to make my 2009 Awesome…

  415. Emil says:

    I have also got problems with my English. The level of it varies so much. I have studied in England for four years. I cannot say that I have learned the language during these years as I have probably been exposed to the language throughout my life, though American English has had bigger influence. The level has, however, improved quite a lot though over here, but I’m still getting these “very bad” English days very often. Then, the other days I feel almost like it would be my first language. I don’t know what causes this (it’s probably something psychological) but it really bugs me and makes me depressed. Has anyone else ever experienced these same kinds of feelings?.. And does anyone know how to build up self confidence regarding second languages?

  416. Ani says:

    Whenever i face crucial time then i lost,mainly in games
    such as i played well and reached to the finals and then in finals i played like a novice,
    dont know what happened to me in final situation

  417. Onge says:

    First of all, I dont agree that confidence is always attractive, some people a frightened by confident people and hate them for their confidence.
    But in saying that confidence is a good thing to have, it gets you the things you want in life.
    For all those people who have placed posts, slagging off the people discussing how to gain confidence, there are plenty off people like you out there.
    The people who pay out people who try to improve them selfs are the types of people who hold others back so they can feel better about them selves.
    First rule of being confident, ignore these people.
    Second rule, learn not to worry about things, worring is “A WAY OFF THINKING” that is a learnt behaviour, have faith that things will work out even if it does not seem to be the case.
    Third Rule, when talking to your self in your mind, dont say “I wish I was popular” (example), say “I Am Popular”, If this feels uncomfortable, like you are lying to yourself, That is where you are doing good in your mind, keep doing it, your subconsious mind is objecting, eventually the sub counsious will follow what the consious mind is saying. If you say I wish all the time thats all you will ever do.
    Fourth rule, dont care what people think about you, go out there with clothes with holes in them and be proud that you are going against the flow, wanting everyone to like you will never happen, there fore you will never be happy if you are hoping this will happen. Be happy with the people who do like you for you and if no one likes you, work out why ?(eg.maybe you compain to much)
    Fith rule, learn as much as you can, where ever you can, knowlege is power.
    Sixth rule, if someone pays you out, dont respond directly or in your mind. They are nothing, calling them this and that, is an acknolegment that their comment had power over you, that makes you feel weak inside.
    Usually these people are loosers and they will eventually hang them selfves and when you see it happen you will say nothing to prevent it from happening, then have a good laugh when it does.
    Seventh rule, dont get upset if you make a mistake, evryone does it, learn from it, hide it if you can, from others, no one needs to know (dont draw attention to your mistakes)
    eight rule, dont do things that are morally objectionable, that way you cant feel guilty for them later.
    ninth rule, love yourself, strength comes from within,
    Tenth rule,try to be the best, but never expect to be the best, there is always someone who can lift more or has a bigger doodle.
    Thats a summery of what I think it takes to build confidence, I am sure that there wil be people who post responses paying me out, I say bring it on, I laugh at you, Hahahah I laugh because I am not you, hahahah and to those who are trying to improve yourself I say, I hope all your dreams come true, you are awesome, because alot of people dont even bother to try or worse still put others down to feel good.

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  419. Anze says:

    Last week in was in Romania for holidays. Then i was self-confident. But now when i am back in my home country i think that everyone is locking at me. So i cant walk normaly.

  420. lack of selfconfidence says:

    whoever you are…i really like what you wrote here and when i read it, it makes me feel better about myself by saying all those nice words on how to feel confident about yourself. i myself sometimes i have problems communicating with people around me because im always afraid that when i talk to people they will make fun of my accent. im always worried and afraid about people what they think about me.

    i hope someday i can gain my confidence just like others…i guess it will take time and like you said prayer and just have fait in god and he will guide and help you around your needs…

  421. Krishna says:

    You did good job for me

    you boost my confidence and mental energy to do well in my day

    Thank you very much

    keep doing and keep encouraging people like us

    have a great day

  422. nm says:

    its really a good pack of things…………..

    power of thinking big id s good book which tells the same thing by david schwartz. interested people can read that one………..i myself is a sufferer of low confidence ,,,at times i am loiw of confidence and not feel like to so anything ,,,even to meet my dead lines i dont feel energetic…….

    of cpurse the tips given helps atleast 80 % … i agree totally with the author……

  423. Taha says:

    Your article Motivates me alot .

  424. Rita says:

    great strategies for confidence building, some of the comments were very interesting. confidence and self esteem are very close together, that is why most of the time our confidence is based on our emotions and what we think about ourself rather than how confident we are.
    If you suffer with low self esteem then your confidence is shaken.
    Do you think that we should pay more attention to doing things we know we are good at to help build confidence instead of focusing on our weaknesses,

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  427. Ben says:

    It’s called agrophobia , I have it too , I totaly understand what you mean about walking fast so nobody notices you , But I have come to realise that that isn’t a way to live , all you should say to yourself when your outside is “Who cares if people are looking at me” I mean so maybe they are better looking , maybe they are more intelligent , but at the end of the day we are all human , we are born, we live , we die , so why waste your life thinking about what other people think? they are not worth it! And 90% of the time they arnt looking at you! and the 10% who do look at you don’t care what you look like. It’s one of the hardest phobias to get over but if you don’t you will get to the end of your life and regret not having done more. Email me at if you want to chat about it, I will be happy to help you .

  428. Ben says:

    If you want to chat about it email me at

  429. Ben says:

    This may be a bit late , but email me at if you need help

  430. FAZIL says:

    Hi guys, i have a small tip that i can share with others in
    order to improve self confidence.Every single man on this world should have a moment that he should be proud and happy about himself.So if you are loosing any confidence when getting close to do an important or unavoidable things.In these times you should remember the instances that i have mentioned above.I also want to say that one donot want to be more concious about what others things about you.Such foolish thoughts will only harm your self confidence and courageness.In this time I also want to
    remember you about one proverb saying “What others will thinks about you reveals that you are a slave of that man”.So guys always be your self and you should have your own style of expressing things.So always keep your Identity wherever you are in this whole world.

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  432. maggie says:

    No, many individuals want to hear other students speak from other countries, not that it is funny but because it is interesting. I actually bet you will find more friends in doing this because everyone wants a unique friend they can talk to and get a new prespective. Use your different style to stand yourself out in a good way!

  433. Ben says:

    Why did you come on this site if it was to say “dnt be such an emo bitch”? God some people are stupid :/ maybe you should look in the mirror before posting comments like that because noones perfect !

  434. jerry says:

    as always awesome

  435. Boris says:

    Great post, and I would choose Work out as my favorite..
    Once you get fit…

    All the best

  436. Boss says:

    this is tut how to look like a sc person, and not becoming one.This 10 steps are just one step i the real scale.And they are not necessary.

  437. Cristina says:

    The post is very good. I noticed that each time I put reddish nail polish I feel more confident. So, now before an important meeting I invest time in my nails and looks. I sometimes feel like a different person in these moments. Sometimes, I would buy something new just for an important event.

    Also, the fact that I exercise often makes me happy about myself and about my self-discipline and helps me to avoid some time-consuming activities.

    It is true that these are temporary boosters and I still have a long way to go, but I make progresses in this field and I am happy about this.

    Thank you for the post!

  438. NetHaggler says:

    This post is very useful. I am already subscribed for this. I love to read the new users feedback comments.

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  440. andrew says:

    i totally agree about having a support group. we all know what its like, the pain of not knowing if theres even a single person out there who would care to listen. i think that feeling compounds the problem because i dont feel like anyone would care or that i should even bother other people about my feelings. but i came here and its very apparant that im not alone. i will talk to and listen to anyone who needs a friend to do so. feel free to email me and we can start a dialogue. that goes out to anyone who needs someone to talk to.

  441. jaba jones says:

    if you find all the things helpful that every one has suggested you should try learning some basic N.L.P. from chris howard, you can dl via bit torrent, hes changed my life and gives life skills for sucess, also vocabulary can change your life aswell, all sucsessful peoples vocabulary is vary high.

    sincerely jaba jones

    p.s. i hope some one looks into this, even just listening to it once through will give you many tools FOR LIFE

  442. daniella says:

    i know how you are feeling, i’m going through that too. i’m really doing my best to change but it’s really hard. i think u should find some help, thats what i’m trying to do, because i know i can’t do it by myself. it sounds like i’m making a big deal out of this, but thats because it is a big deal. not only for high school but for everything else, beeig communicative is very important. and it might seem like i can speak english very good. but thats only writing and reading, because i dont like talking in english. for the same exact reason u said,”i’m afraid they r gonna make fun of me”. but u know what i realized this is more a selfesteem problem that a accent or difference of cultures like i thought. i really hope u realize that too, and that u always look ahead and be succesful!!

  443. daniella says:

    hey u shouldnt think like that, firt of all because if you think about it,YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND, and if he is going out with you he must have his reasons, i dont know what they are, but they have to be good reasons, people dont go out with somebody if they dont like them. and if they do it’s probably kuz they dont know what they r doing. so i just think u just need to think of what u have and how great u are.

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  445. garry says:

    iam a MBA student, where i need to prepare a lot of presentations though english is my 2nd language but that doesn’t bother me but i don’t have confidence to go up on the stage and start talking about the presentation. Its something very hard for me and iam losing so many things in life.

    Can some one please suggest what should i do to come over this problem of mine


  446. JamieKirk says:

    I have this problem where I always take things that people say about me to heart. Can someone help me and tell me how to start believing in myself?

  447. lorac says:

    hi, i understood whats written here bout self confidence and i thank you for that, the thing is i really cant speak fluent in english and understand all of it.

  448. lorac says:

    you need to know first who you are and love yourself and just be yourself . dont mind what other people saying as long you know that you dont hurt other peopl..

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  450. Olivier says:

    This article is not about self confiance, its about how people look at you. There’s a huge different: you can look good walk fast and work out, does not mean you think you’r a good person…

  451. Fareen says:

    good idea
    i like those steps to become self confident
    i am going to use this for my speech
    thank u 😀
    bye bye

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  453. John says:

    What an incredible article…for HOW SHORT it was!

    And great comments too!

    I believe every suggestion will work (in the right context)

    I went to this guys seminar and it was incredible…he really helped me overcome my fear of people

    Hope you find his site useful:

  454. Jack says:

    I agree with John

    Great article for how short it was.

    I checked out the site you recommended…

    looks interesting!

    Does this guy do any work on the East Coast?

  455. Amanda says:

    Thanks for some great advice. When I’m feeling down, I read tips available on the internet such as this and it helps me a little. At times I wish there are support groups out there that I can just talk to and not have to be afraid they will judge me…I guess there are but I don’t really know because I don’t do much on the internet. I have to say my confidence is low and someday I feel very sad and lost, not knowing what to do. I sometimes wish there is a support group I could freely to about anything without being afraid they would judge me. That would surely help improve my English skills and thus help boost my self-confidence.

  456. honesty says:

    the rough true comments are generally what snaps me out of a rough phase and gets me thinking clearly again. Its usually the kick i need to say to myself ‘yeah stop being so damn stupid!’ or ‘ just friggen do it!’. So i wouldn’t care too much about being called a stupid emo prick. Is this even normal?..

  457. hasan kamran says:

    when ever i want to study i just lose my self confidence please help i am very depressed

  458. Michael says:

    Great tips. Another tip I found very useful is to face your fears on a constant basis. The opposite of self-confidence is fear, and by destroying your fear and facing it, you will build self-confidence much quicker and will establish a powerful self-esteem.

    It is also crucial to alter ones mindset in order to grow confidence. Think of the all wrong habits that take place in your life, and change each one, bit by bit.

  459. Great tips. Another tip I found very useful is to face your fears on a constant basis. The opposite of self-confidence is fear, and by destroying your fear and facing it, you will build self-confidence much quicker and will establish a powerful self-esteem.

    It is also crucial to alter ones mindset in order to grow confidence. Think of the all wrong habits that take place in your life, and change each one, bit by bit.

  460. mon says:

    I agree with all these uplifting messages.I want 2 ask,wat can a person do when the little confidence they have is threatened by a strong sense of anxiety,and the support around them is zero,and the pple they confided in don’t know wat 2 do for them and others keep judging them.

  461. sara says:

    well i had this problem befor and i was afraid to be fun or others laugh on me but i find out that if you will laugh with them when they laugh on you and say oh God i’m not intelegent or i’m not good or stuff like that …will makes this fun normal and you will see how much thsi way work out so just laugh with them and ask and say whatever you want do be be afraid try it nad you will see..good luck

  462. Mike says:

    Hi everyone. I am troubled and confused at this point in my life. Im not sure what my problem is exactly, but i am always worried about what other people think of me. I cant seem to make any new friends in school. And whats worse is that one of my closest friends is sooo popular and can become friends with anyone he wants to. Lately i just dont want to socialize with anyone. When i actually try to i get nervous and my voice gets quiet and mumbly. I also always worry about how i look. Please help.

  463. snickers says:

    hi everyone..i’m having a speech class this semester.when it’s time for me to talk in front, there’s a tendency for me to be shaky, my face becomes so red and my hands are so cold..I’m really nervous when I speak in front of people..I hope this article could help me with my problem..

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  465. adzrollz says:

    it’s really nice…we as a human not a perfect person
    but we can always be a better person…

  466. gerysy says:

    Thank you for the post!

  467. BiafPejelia says:

    Will, can you PM me and apprise me infrequent more thinks far this, I am absolutely adherent of your blog…

  468. mohammad hassan says:

    self-confidence are the best way to success in our life, and without it we can’t do anything.. we must become our self to solve all the problem that face us in this life.and the most thing should know him; ho can be give us the self-confidence are the god we must think in him and to take the power from him….

  469. Good practical advice. It’s only by doing what we fear that we can gain confidence in doing that. There is no easy out. Good posture, sitting in the front row and speaking up – all of these tips point to doing what we fear. Thanks for the article.

  470. Solver says:

    As said by many, great post indeed. Another sure way to success is a proper goal setting and actions towards that goal. Goal setting coaching can ne found at

  471. Nina says:

    Just dont listen you have to know what you want and how to respond. Learn as hard as you can. Most likelt thoose students just havent heard an accsent or a new language. There proably jealous of you. Dont think your higher or lower then them just believe in yourself

  472. lack of selfconfidence says:


    I just read your blog and Im really impressed with it. I do agree on some of the suggestions that you wrote there and it kinda made me feel better.

    Im not sure if my problems is about self esteem or hating other people because I had such a bad experienced in life. Id love to share more about this with you when ever you have time please email me. Perhaps, you will be able to give some good advices.

    I too, love god and I think I’m a good person. I love to help people especially those poor ones or needy people. When I helped them it made me feel good and better about myself.

    Weii, this is it for now and thank you for taking time ready my email.

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  474. Clairvoyance says:

    I agree that you have to face your fear and that’s how you move forward. Use your intuition in order to achieve your goals and find answers to your questions

  475. Georg says:

    Stop looking towards others and comparing your achivements to theirs, there will always be someone better than you in EVERYTHING. Compare yourself to yourself and you will find that you are just as good as you are and nothing ever changes that. If someone laugh at you becaouse they could do better at whatever it is you are doing in that instance, they are simply ignorant. Forgive them.

    Search the truth and the truth will sett you free.

  476. Mike Sam says:

    I do not agree with you regard “walking fast”. It reflects unsteady, nervous and anxiety attitude.

  477. Tallulah says:

    Hey thank you for giving me some tips on how to be more confident!! I think that, because im low in confidents is because i got bullyed ALOT in the past 2 to 3 years because i had a gap in my teeth? and i had buck teeth as well [ but not that bad ] my gap was so wide i could slide a lolly pop stick thourgh it!! but now i’ve got brasses and my teeth are just about perrfuct!! now on my list is to gane some more confidents so im not so paranoid all the time so Thank you ALOT XOXO!! :)

  478. FrozenSun says:

    Rather interesting site you’ve got here. Thanx for it. I like such topics and anything that is connected to them. I would like to read more on that blog soon.

    Truly yours

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  481. This is a great list, it reminds us to be conscious of our self confidence as others are paying attention.

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  483. Tucker says:

    I lack self confidence in one part of my life, girls.
    When ever im around a girl a like, its like a loose the abillity not only to speak, but to be myself in genreal. im affraid that if i act myself they will think im wierd (well i am, but only slightly lol) and im affraid to talk about anything with them, or get a convosation started, coz they might take me as being boring or strange. I have a great fiend who’s always trying to help and big me up, highlighting the posative stuff about my personaillty, but he cant always be there for me.
    I just want to be able to walk in a room full of people and not saclude (think i spelt that wrong)into my shell, and for those horroscope fans out there, yes im a Cancerium

  484. Marthees says:

    Hello sir,
    I am also had that problem. But now I came out of that one. Just take ur friends comments as fun and try to speak whatever you think and don’t think whether it’s grammatically correct or not. Don’t be inferior yourself. Right or wrong try to speak in a confident way. Then only your friends will eager to listen your speak.

  485. Marthees says:

    Hello Tucker, Girls are always liking the person who is having positive looking and positive speak. Don’t afraid to talk to friends. Just think the girls are your friends and try to make some group meetings. And call the girls by using her first names. Personality not only depends upon your walking style and dressing style it depends on your confident posture and speak. Be confident while you speak with girls. Just try this one. You can get the confident.

  486. i run a site that has similar content to this.

  487. Led Retrofit says:

    Self confidence is the most imperative thing any individual requires either at the start of his professional career or through his pursuit

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  489. Debbie says:

    when it comes to believing in yourself you have to learn not to take everyones opinion personal. Remember it is jut an opinion and God doesn’t make junk.

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  492. Johan says:

    Nice one,

    Confidence is built from within and we will feel like we walk and talk. The shell can help us feel the way we want to prepare for a certain task in that role.


  493. Susan says:

    I think we should definitely support each other, support groups and making connections online are a great way to start.

  494. root says:

    Thank you this nice post

  495. 1. Take a shower and be hygienic
    2. Put on some nice clothes and look good…human bodies require decoration
    3. Realize that EVERYONE desires relationships and interaction, not just you
    4. Realize that if you mess up, it’s just ONE event in your ~70 year life
    5. Realize that confidence is the opposite of focusing on yourself
    6. Remember what you’re good at
    7. Remember not to act like what you aren’t
    8. Accept that you’ll never have to be perfect
    9. Accept that you should never wait for life’s “perfect timing”
    10. Force yourself out socially and enjoy the ride

  496. Nice one

    I would like to add controlled breathing to posture. The way we breath affects how we feel. A deep, slow controlled breathing puts us in the state of control.

    Thank’s for a great post

  497. Michelle says:

    Just feel good about yourself and the things you do. That can totally gain you self esteem.

  498. Taylor says:

    you are great you are the best keep these thoughts in your head cause you are these features and no one can change that you are an intersting person you need no one to tell you who you are or what are you made of you know just well what you are you are here for something we are all here for something you just need to learn how to appreciate your self more make your self ar a friend if you treated your self good then you will have a heck of a friend treat your self badly then you will never have a friend and take my advice on this never be with a friend who makes you feel bad about your self just throw him/her away and believe me there are others who are daying to be with you even if that doesnt seem that way to you but it do on reality so be good behave good respect your self then respect the other and then things are going to pay off

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  500. I have found that yoga is a great way to increase confidence, because not only do you look good, your posture is better and you have a healthy glow about you. That leads to so much more confidence in yourself!

  501. tim says:

    I have started a new job as a sales rep.I need to canvas for new bussiness do cold calls and go and promote my business.I always feel like a door to door salesman.
    I feel insecure and small talking to people.I have this fear that Im just wasting there time.What the hell is wrong with me.

  502. Yuval says:

    Because Self confidence is always shown in behavior,
    then “playing it right” on the out-side is always useful.
    But it is only dealing with the toppings of the cake.

    What makes a great cake is the recipe.
    Therefore In the self confidence delicacy
    especially when someone is in a real need
    It should include redisigning values, believes, attitudes, feelings, memories and choosing the right way of thinking.

    The good news is that anyone can become the chef of his confidence…
    whith the right guidence.

  503. tim says:

    how do you start to re-evaluate,or where do you start,time is crucial,You cant just wake up and be someone els.can you?

  504. ms girl says:

    yeah the walking fast thing was a load of crap to be honest. shy people, me included walk fast because they are uncomfortable. (me included) in highschool or when walking around groups of people and you dont know , it makes you walk fast, you’re trying to get through quickly. people used to tell me i walked fast all the time. a confident person enjoys being seen or doesnt mind it so he doesnt need to speed up or hurry. he can slow down and take a look around him. a shy person with low confidence looks at the grown and is speeding.

  505. SEHRISH says:

    i m very worried because i cant tell others even the right thing. i cant give interviews and some times even start weeping infront of interviewer it seems that words stuck in my throat. PLease help me i m very worried.

  506. Daniel says:


    Ok, so posture is very important. All you need to do is flex your abdominal (ab) muscles and your glute (butt) muscles and you will walk straighter and better. This will give you confidence! Believe me. I tried this and I could speak what was on my mind, made me feel better and livelier, and also helped me with my OCD to take the focus away from my bad thoughts.

    I usually don’t do this at night though because I’ve noticed people usually don’t care about image at night.. haha (not 100% sure about that thought) also it gives me a break from flexing. It’s not that big of a hassle though. Makes you feel great! Also the confidence you had during the day will carry over into the night so you really don’t have to focus on your posture at night. Plus people are more tired at night so they don’t really care. Trust me, this works!!!

  507. What a great Blog, really enjoyed reading 10 ways to instantly build self confidence.

    I have just written my own book, called 14 Powerful Suggestions to Buld Your Self Esteem, I am very happy to share it with the community.

    I hope you find it beneficial, download your gift here

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    Master NLP Practitioner & Success Coach
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  508. maddi says:

    hey guys

  509. frances says:

    hey maddi

  510. maddi says:

    hi. come to my house. i life at 35 mcliver street underyabed

  511. frances says:

    ill be there in 20 mins

  512. Darren Gricks says:

    I am so want to get my self confidence back
    cause every time I try where I dont see people again I in to not feel conftable enough like everyone else
    to say it really confidently being myelf cause I plan to make it happen
    and it is really frustrating could anyone me out here

  513. Darren Gricks says:

    I am so want to get my self confidence back
    cause every time I try where I dont see people again I in to not feel conftable enough like everyone else
    to say it really confidently being myelf cause I plan to make it happen
    and it is really frustrating could anyone help me out here

  514. The post does really boosts up your energy levels and also makes you think of your self at least once. I think these ten tips for instantly building your self confidence is really an informative post.

    I really thank for mom who has really boosted up my self confidence, right from childhood. she was the one who always made me think that i can do anything, if i have self confidence with in myself.

    I am also now passing the same message to people who meet me and teach them how important is self confidence.

  515. Ravisher says:


    I don’t agree with on this “many of the factors affecting self confidence are beyond your control”. You CAN control the factors affecting self confidence. NOTHING is impossible.

    Just click on my name to read the article on my website and tell me if I’m wrong. I believe. Belief is very powerful.

  516. SABELO NOGENGE says:

    i will read more of this as it gives me more confidence in.I am in South Africa, unemployed & am 26. Thanks for the page, fullfilling.

  517. Most of this article is right on. Thanks for taking the time to write it and post it.

  518. Sr22 says:

    Dress sharp! Walk fast! Sit up straight! Great advice!

  519. rsn1936 says:

    I have zero self confidence, and this is ruining my relationship. I’m too jealous when it comes to my boyfriend being friends with other girls. I feel like the reason he talks to them is because I’m not giving him all he’s ridiculous to think he’s only gonna need me as a friend and no one else. I don’t know what to do )= I always feel like the other girls he talks to are prettier than me and stuff like that.

  520. Everything in life is affected by your levels of confidence and this article lists 10 things which everyone can do to feel so very much better in themselves. I wonder how many of the people who have posted comments have actually put all 10 into practice? All too frequently, we know what we should or could do, but somehow do not get around to doing these things.

  521. Hi, I came across your blog from Google.

    This post is 100% correct and realistic. I agree with these strategies to help build confidence.

    These can definitely help.

    Have a nice day.

    Richard Lindo

  522. kim says:

    i disagree about walking fast, if you walk fast just to create the impression of being confident even if you are not in a hurry then you can’t fool anyone. That will not look real confidence instead ACTING but not feeling confident, you will look someone who thinks he is important than everyone else. True confidence is deep inside the way you feel, you can walk slows as a turtle, but as long you have confidence people can percieve it rather trying hard like walking fast just to appear confident. You dont act confidence you should FEEL it. If you feel confident even if you are the poorest guy in the world, you will still have a positive response from people and you don’t even have to prove or show this is just flows naturally because real confidence is natural and not force.

    anyway here is my site to develope self confidence. read it. thanks.

  523. FSK says:

    Do not be ashamed of poor english. The fact that you just try to speak without showing fear or lack of trust in yourself will make everything else seem minimal.

    I have always highly enjoyed listening to and speaking to someone who does not speak english well, it makes the conversation more intriguing and interesting and anyways, why should anyone care if your english is good or bad so long as they understand what you are trying to say.

    Whenever I find myself holding back from something because of how others will percieve me, I say to myself, ‘I don’t give a sh*t (excuse the language) what others think, I am me, this is my life, I will live it.’

    Hope this helps.

  524. Guy Farmer says:

    Great insights. The wonderful thing about self confidence is that we can start building it at any time. I’ve noticed that it’s often about just doing small things that, over time, build up our self esteem and create a new, more effective way of living life.

  525. Galit says:

    I know how you feel. I speak 4 different languages. Now I speak 4, but I couldn’t speak a word when I started. Here is the thing. Don’t think about what others think of you, rather be proud of what you are going to learn. The more you are going to practice, the better you will become. You can even ask others to correct your language so you can learn faster.
    You will become so fluent you won’t believe how good you are.
    Good luck.

  526. Galit says:

    I love this information, especially the one about gratitude. Gratitude is such a powerful tool that if someone knows how to use can change a lot about the way we see things.

  527. natalieeee says:

    Thanks for this blog. I do have really low confidence in myself. As Low self esteem as well. I agree with everybody that said walking faster is a sign of low confidence. I always walk fast when I pass a certain crowd. So that they won’t look. I always feel like people are looking at me and judging me and I hate it. I hate caring so much and always trying to win approval from people who probably don’t care. I will admit that my confidence has gotten better. Especially since I surround myself with amazing friends. I think that if you make a goal and you reach it, it’s realllyyyy a big boost. I still have a lot of work to do since I do have real bad self esteem. Anyway..thanks for the blog 😀 <3

  528. All these 10 ways are efficient to me. It is better to be n forced to be self-confident than do it myself. No matter what kind of situation it is, I’ll prepare the 10 things before.

  529. SWATHA says:

    hello friends i think that will be good i improve my self confidence today now a days i am not worring about these and all

  530. prom gowns says:

    Its so cool, so full of information that I

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  531. JD says:

    this is the way to gain not only confidence in the way you carry yourself but more importantly beleif & self worth…

    I use to doubt myself but when you see yourself in another light thibgs become different.

  532. rohan says:

    hey hi i am suffering from low self doubt and low self confidence, cause of my appearence i have a great body, good face, i look more than average, i wear good clothes, but usually i become self conscious and get anxious about my looks and what others might be thinking about me..plz help me out.

  533. Pravin says:

    It was great to read the valuable wordings to gain lost self confidence. I thank to him who has worte this and also thanks to internet who has made this to reach us.

    Best Wishes & Regards,


  534. annoymus says:

    hey i really dont know how to build my self confidence straight away i have gone through loads of stages where i dont know what to do with my life i want to beleieve in myself again and feel like i can do anything! help me please!

  535. Pingback: Build Self Confidence with Entrainment Therapy - Part 1 | Binaural Healing

  536. Pingback: Build Self Confidence with Entrainment Therapy - Part 2 | Binaural Healing

  537. Pingback: Build Self Confidence with Entrainment Therapy – Part 3 | Binaural Healing

  538. Pingback: Build Self Confidence with Entrainment Therapy – Part 4 | Binaural Healing

  539. seastar.dolphins says:

    really you are doing a good job.
    i am a budding trainer
    ur articles helps me a lot
    it is very simple and easy to understand and present
    thank u

  540. Waheed says:

    Thank you for posting such a help full article. I am 27 years old and working in a company. I am slim and not physically healthy like other people of my age around me. People mostly make fun of my physical appearance that why i never feel confidence in social gatherings. who i can overcome this complex?

    Please advise thanks.

  541. Pingback: mental health-tips and facts « IN PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

  542. Sonu says:

    I’m suffering from “MANBOOBS”
    When I was in school my friends laughed on me I was a very bright and intelligent student and I was a district topper. they destroyed my self confidence and ruined my life. Now I fear of everybody and don’t go to parties and social events also I left my studies and Now I want to make my life normal. What should I do ? I’m going to do B.B.A. and I’ve no confidence to go to college please help

  543. tej says:

    nice article!

  544. Manal says:

    Well my problem is that most of the time it happens to me that whenever the teacher asks a question or ask about anything even though i know the answer i do not feel confident enough to stand up and tell her because i am afraid of being the reason for laughing.So pls helpppp!!!

  545. Mel says:

    I agree that the walking fast is a load of rubbish, I don’t have any confidence and I walk fast to get to wherever I am going as fast as possible.

    I woul’ve thought walking slow and taking your time would give you more confidence.

  546. Roland says:

    I disagree with the idea that walking fast makes you seem important. I think that walking fast is a sign of being anti-social and we are human beings, social beings…. It is not good for your health to walk fast unles you are exercising. I walk 5 miles a day for exercise, I am in excellent shape and I meditate while I’m walking, breathing in good air and taking in my surroundings broadly. I also feel that people who walk fast are in some way uncomfortable and don’t want to be seen, bothered or talked to, which is rude rather you are in the city or not. I think you are an easy victim when you walk fast, allowing people to see that you are in a hurry, therefore not aware of your surroundings and/or you don’t like and appreciate where you are. Besides, why hurry through life. People who walk fast and run do not seem that they are on a mission, they just seem insecure.

  547. Pingback: 10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence « JobAdvantage1

  548. Pingback: Ways to Change Your Habits and Improve Your Life « Dr. Richard Williams Medical Blog

  549. I am a hypnotist and I help lots of people to improve their self confidence. Over the years I have come to realise that the people that may mock you or pull you down and come across as over flowing in confidence, actually have less confidence than their victim. They are simply trying to compensate for their feelings by making someone else feel worse than they do. So the next time someone is giving you a hard time…..pity them!

  550. Pingback:» Build Your Confidence

  551. Rob says:

    “Self-confidence is knowing that we have the capacity to do something good and firmly decide not to give up.”
    – His Holiness the Dalai Lama

    Great article: here are four simple ways to increase self confidence and restore faith in you!

    1. Think “positive”: write down at least 10 things you’ve done well or been proud of in the last few weeks. Look at the list and think, what does this tell you you’re great at? You could also try to write down a few things each day that you’ve done well. They don’t have to be huge achievements, just stuff you’ve done a good job of. Also think about what you actually done to make these good things happen. Here you’re focusing on not only the outcome but also the process too. See negative experiences as temporary and specific to a situation.

    2. Think “solutions”: big problems sometimes seem impossible to achieve, so break them down into smaller parts. Completing these small parts will make you feel more confident and valued.

    3. Think “passion”: determine what you do best and then reorganize your life, if possible, to spend more time doing these activities.

    4. Think “praise”: be alert to praise both informal and formal. A smile, lack of complaint, a nod, etc can all be taken to mean someone is happy about what you’re doing. Look out for the small signs that have big meanings.

  552. kevin says:

    I need Major help with self-confidence…everyone says I have none and I am starting to believe them..Can anyone steer me in the right direction? I would really appreciate it.. Kevin

  553. Josh says:

    This made me do so much better on my alien project in school this websire saved my life thank yop♥

  554. Matthews.M says:

    Nice article! Another good tip is to come out of your comfort zone. Don’t always cocoon yourself from doing things you fear. You should be open to new experiences and try it out. It is important for you to know that doing the things you fear the most or those you try to avoid is probably one of the effective ways to develop self confidence. Coming out of your comfort zone and doing things that you fear can be very challenging and this will need a lot of courage.

  555. prom says:

    It is very helpful.
    The more you contribute to the world the more you’ll be rewarded with personal success and recognition.

  556. Huss says:

    there were many changes happened to my look and my view in life after fellowing some of these ways.

  557. muponisi chritious says:

    i hv nt tasted this 10 ways b4, they r amaizing

  558. uch says:

    Tnx alot for this short really helped more than i expected.The eye contact thing’s really wonderful.i can hardly look at people’s faces while i can look anyone right into the eye balls without a blink.funny enough i find them looking away!somebody says a firm hand shake could be an additional skill.How true is this? By the way thank you once more for this piece.


  559. John Bosco says:

    This information is certainly of a great help to generate self confidence in a person. Thanks a lot for providing this information in a systematic way.

  560. vaishnavi says:

    This artical contains the ganeral but most important n well..known things..! which we knows well but un-notice by us…..this would definatly built our confidance level…!thnx 4 such wonderful artical…!

  561. Judith says:

    your website is realy great I really appreciate wht you’ve written, i wana suggest that you can also provide videos that demonstrate all those qualities. I will be very grateful thanks a million!

  562. Judith says:

    I realy think that all those articles reflect me thank you so much I will try very hard to build my self confidence!

  563. Billion says:

    Thanks a lot for the article and the comments that have been made of building self confidence. I will try my best to remember by following all the 10 steps and hopefully i will be able to gain self confidence.

  564. JOY says:

    thanks for this blog!!
    now i feel better & i try to have more self confidence in my self!
    because of this blog i realize how stupid i now i apply this tips to help my self and also to show my skills & knowledge to the people w/ no fear!!

  565. Pingback: The Humble Executive » 6 Simple Steps to Feel More Confident

  566. riaz says:

    i like it and i try to learn more

  567. Pingback: Stepping Up Self-Confidence « Laura Dickey

  568. Rahul says:

    Nice guidance dude go on!!!!!!!

  569. Desta Measa says:

    It is extremely helpful for the people who in needs of other. I am the one who is using this motivational blog.thank you very much.

  570. Amazing to see the simple ten steps, but keeping them in mind is more difficult. Change takes time, more important be yourself.

  571. wetef says:

    can you please writing Damage of Environment is an inevitable consequence of worldwide improvements in the standard of living. Discuss.

  572. crystal says:

    OMG the posture part is sooooo tru i cant beliv it, i actually have my shoulder back wenever i giv a speech in front of loads of people because i feel so scared amd show lack of confidence. i always think that if I have my shoulder up then people will presume that am big headed and i h8 the fact that i always take notice of what people say and not do the stuff that i like, its sooo frustrating.

  573. Acrylic says:

    Stand up and be proud. Confidence comes from inside of you.

  574. mehdi says:

    Im really appreciate for this blog .From this time i want to change my lifestyle your 10 ways are very useful but two thing has problem in my opinion ,i need to more time for better thinking and next week i will explain for you with details.good job

  575. zhuhuiling says:

    links of london there are all your links of London! finally see himself emperor, they see you and i in your heart is only a puppet to do looking back of the feeling like this, at least, i have a links of london friendship bracelets sale reason! Life is daily existence,

  576. melinda says:

    I like this article, it helped me a lot. Thanks!

  577. melinda says: -my webpage, it is hungarian.

  578. lesly says:

    i have low self confidence in front of many people and when i share my emotions with friends and others’

  579. JJ says:

    Hey, love the article and what it entails. I’m a co-founder of a website that is continually putting new information to boost confidence and self-esteem, which in turn improves your life in all aspects including relationships, work, friendship, and your internal happiness. We are building a community of men and women who have real life issues but want FREE one on one advice. Please check us out at, I look forward to hearing some of your struggles and future successes!

  580. harry waluyo says:

    Smart people learned how to get knowledge and wisdom

  581. Mujtaba Nasiri says:

    THANKS A LOT!!!!!!!!!!

    THANKS A LOT!!!!!!!!!

  583. Nadjrz says:

    4, 5, 6 and 10 are very useful. Good article anyways.

  584. sangita says:

    gud articl, can i ask smthng?

  585. Skye says:

    I think this article is a great overview of things anyone can do to give their self confidence a boost. I have to say that not only does complimenting other people break negativity, you would be surprised how many people will return the compliment. Receiving compliments can be very powerful, it’s reassuring and encouraging which can really help you when you’re trying to boost you self confidence.

  586. Bridie says:

    i like this article, it makes good reading. :)

  587. mahroof muhammed says:

    this article is great ,i like it vary much.

  588. Anna says:

    I like this articke so much, I hope it will help a lot of people

  589. Naveen B. Cherian Earaly says:

    Dear sir, Its is a good work to teach people such good qualities.THis is very interesting,informative and awesome.MAY GOD ALMIGHTY BLESS YOU ABUNDUNTLY.

  590. Irene says:

    I love the article.

  591. soulmate says:

    great article….. :)

  592. nick bogatin says:

    I would like to add some self confidence tips:

    Let’s try something. Stand up (or at least sit up straight) and take a DEEP breath. As you breathe in so deeply it begins to hurt, allow your chest and stomach to protrude outward . Take in every last breath you can possibly fit. Hold it for 15 seconds to really extract all of the oxygen and then exhale slowly for 7 or 8 seconds.

    Now that was a deep breath wasn’t it. You took everything you possibly could take in and yet how much is left around you? Would you agree that there is an abundance of air? Of course you would. This is the way that your life is too and you can live an abundant life!

  593. BenjaminsButtons says:

    Those are some pretty darn useful points.
    If you want to go further however, may I suggest this system which almost subliminally builds self confidence and other things, like awareness and concentration. At first it seemed like a total waste of time, but it really helped. I’m pretty sure it’s scientifically verified and all, and it’s well worth the money. I think everyone should give it a go!
    anyway, here is the site where i bought it from.

  594. Kate says:

    That was so nice of you to share the above tips :) Some people are born confident and are always up for everything and some loose their confidence with time . I think the best way to overcome the feeling of low confidence is to recall the past occurrence when your confidence was high,that will certainly imbibe in you the faith which you had lost in yourself.
    Here’s a fun test on this theme , hope you will enjoy taking it!
    Am I Confident?
    Do you believe in yourself and your ability to do things?

  595. Mahendra More says:

    Can u suggest the books of names which can boost of self confidence.

  596. Andrea Anders says:

    wow, this website REALLY helped me, i hope other people boyfriend says that hes seen a real difference.Thank you!

  597. I like these suggestions.

  598. adeel says:

    these suggestions will bring a great change i my life.

  599. fulya says:

    I like the article in terms of practicable. Simple but efficient tips are good. I think, if anyone wants to boost their confidence and quality of their life, they can find something useful in this article.

  600. Deede says:

    thank you so much I’ve been needing to build up my self confidence and by reading this it helped me out in what i need to do to achieve this.

  601. GYIMAH SAMUEL YAW says:


  602. Hi,

    Great article and thanks for sharing. I like to add one point. That is to to prepare yourself beforehand.

  603. Daniel says:

    Good article. I dont believe in instant staff, but this article proved me otherwise. Point on gratitude could use a bit of revision. A clearly defined vision always produce successful goals. I think a clear mental picture of what u want to achieve coupled with the gratitude concept wil produce more rewardin results.

  604. Pingback: Building confidence | SellYourGrannie

  605. David says:

    Great content. Powerful people tend to “run the room” not with words but by their presence another way to improve confidence is merely by social proof. I love this article!!

    Lets change the world. Today!

  606. Stephen Caster says:

    Good Article….Many successful People are successful not just because of their knowledge but their ATTITUDE and ACTION, and the attitude of been confident is what is shared here….Positive and confident communicators are not born they are made, using techniques and strategies of the above values that already exist in one self…..These values are outlined here to become successful in one’s life be it from Business to an intimate relationship….

  607. Chinaemerem Opara says:

    Splendid!I wish all my friends will access dis maserpiece

  608. Nusry says:

    I was really motivated

  609. karl y says:

    excellent, short and to the point. we all need a boost now and again, cheers

  610. sravani says:

    this is really gud..
    infact my of those points come in me..i need to develop the rest.n il surely make an attempt..:)

  611. Karen Hardy says:

    “Confidence is that deep inner belief of knowing that everything you imagine is possible. It is the energy that fuels your life” Harley Lovegrove.
    Harley makes some interesting comments on confidence, relating it to his own experiences etc. It is a very easy blog to read. Well worth reading if you are interested in building confidence.

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  614. Ronald says:

    This is very useful article. Helped a lot!

  615. archa says:

    its veru

  616. abhi says:

    i m very much in need of this article. nd i fond it really helpful. thanx a lot

  617. DeVaughn says:

    This article said it all in a nut shell about boosting your confidence. Confidence can really change your life I know it did mine.
    But this is definitely a great blog

  618. jessey says:

    i’m feeling confident already while reading this article and i hope i,ll be more confident and its awsm

  619. jessey says:

    its awsm

  620. Al says:

    Great site, but you have to remember that there are several types of introversion, and mine is, by far the worst. I don’t think I could do any of these tips, I think the mountain is too high to climb, but I love the fact that there are people trying to make life easier for us. I wrote a blog (blog was one of the suggestions but nobody has read it so it’s clearly not working) about one such experience on the website. It’s a rare window into how difficult it can be.

  621. Paul C says:

    Great 10 points and all very practical. I have one more big one to add to this list and that’s to eliminate negativity in and around you. One of the biggest diversions to obtaining that feeling of confidence seems to be the negative energy that seems to follow like the tail on haleys comet. sometimes you get caught in the slip stream. Moral is be aware of the danger that heads towards you and make sure you step aside or wear appropriate clothing. Negativity will always be present aslong as there is someone being positive.It is really your choice. I’m off to kick some goals. enjoy smile love and be happy.

  622. kamal says:


  623. bhesh says:

    This article is very good has genuine approach.

  624. Akshay says:

    This is a very good article. And this is very useful in making ur selfconfidence.

  625. Tips are really nice and with accurate content.
    I like these tips ..Thanks a bunch!!

  626. vishnu says:

    thank you……………this article is very helpful and gave me the way to build up self confidence…

  627. Zubair says:

    I think thèse are vital stems to Enhanced confidence.

  628. tami says:

    very good article

  629. Mray says:

    Very GOOD Article, thank you

  630. Sunny says:

    great article :) .. i only have problems in 5 and 8 , rest of the things i do but still …. and one more problem ,i think alot before doing anything . thanks anyway :)

  631. Jackos says:

    I realise more and more that self-esteem IS the source of inspiration. It’s not the goal itself, but our belief we can achieve it. That’s why deluded people (like Madonna) have relentless motivation -because they really believe they’re THAT great!

  632. Michael Inyang says:

    Within the spectrum of what or who you are, there is always what or who you were and within the spectrum of what or who you would be, there is always what or who you are. All are intertwined: the past, the present and the future, but always look at the future with a difference. Hardwork and optimism are the words!

  633. harsimran jeet singh says:

    hi i really impressed by your word little thing i would like enter that this is your life and everywhere there is knowledge i red this i got knowledge from here. so make habbit to collect knowledge. everybody has knowledge of his experience because life is uncertain at present what u learn that will help in your future because knowledge is in your brain nobody take it. it come only when you speak so always speak good words which show your knowledge. because good knowledge is god. god always speaks god words. thanks……….

  634. John Forrest says:

    Good suggestions. Check out for more information on proven methods used to build self esteem and self confidence.

  635. Mike Larookie says:

    Does a woman need to shave her arm pits? I live in China whre most women do not shave, so I think you self esteem advice is not realistic because it does not include the fact that many cultures do not dress or groom like the walking dead in materailism USA. This is why the USA is falling like a brick from the sky. This advice is good if you want to speed up the end of the country.

    Learn the local customs, compromise and realize there are others on this planet that have proably done less to dirty it than the clean shaven….Soap suds in the water?????

    Mike L

  636. Pingback: 10 Tips to Improve your Life |

  637. Habiba says:

    this is good one! thanks alot

  638. Abundance says:

    Hi,i would like to share some thing which is related to self confidence where Great things are seldom achieved without necessary confidence. All the skills and efforts possible are useless if confidence is lacking. Low confidence halts your steps and you cannot take initiative.There is no place for the undecided in this world where success is worshipped, and success seldom comes to someone who is undecided. As the old saying goes, you should stand for something or you will fall for anything – and it’s your confidence that holds you together or breaks you apart, so self confidence will make a man to be focused.

  639. Marcus says:

    Some good advice and common sense here, mixed in with some questionable:

    ” People with confidence walk quickly. ” Not necessarily. Walking quickly can make one look like a slave to the schedule, or stressed, or under someone else’s authority. A slow measured walk can display confidence just as well if not more so. The world can wait.

    Anyway, a good move. Posture, speaking up, being willing to make mistakes, all valuable. The emphasis on gratitude, compliments, and contribution are also very important antidotes to rudeness and self-centeredness. We should be confident, but also always aware that we are interconnected and interdependent.

  640. Natalie P Horn says:

    I came across this article on Google. I was originally typing in “How to be sexy” but before I could type the ‘xy’ Google presented me with self-confidence, so I decided to click on the link that brought me here. I must say that I am very happy that I chose to build self-confidence instead of sexiness. I realized that a person can be sexy, yes, but it is self-confidence that is more important. That, along with other characteristics can lead to sexiness. I am an 18 year old first-year college student struggling to find and show my inner confidence. Thank you, to whoever wrote this article. It is much appreciated and I am sure you have helped many other beside myself.

    P.S I posted it to my Facebook profile as well (laughs) There are a lot of people on there who try to be sexy with no self-confidence. They may need help as well. 😉

    Thank you once again,
    Natalie P. Horn

  641. Yemisi Aluko says:

    This is a good one. Self confidence is a key to successful living

  642. Karthi says:

    I have typed this topic in Google to improve my confidence level. Thank you for your suggestions.

  643. Riaz says:

    I want to self Confidence

  644. Riaz says:

    So I respect to your Idea & I Will in future really Thankfull

  645. mo says:

    love it i think ill try it….

  646. ASHOK R says:

    Some good advice and common sense here, mixed in with some questionable:

    ” People with confidence walk quickly. ” Not necessarily. Walking quickly can make one look like a slave to the schedule, or stressed, or under someone else’s authority. A slow measured walk can display confidence just as well if not more so. The world can wait.

    Anyway, a good move. Posture, speaking up, being willing to make mistakes, all valuable. The emphasis on gratitude, compliments, and contribution are also very important antidotes to rudeness and self-centeredness. We should be confident, but also always aware that we are interconnected and interdependent.

  647. Kalen says:

    Mike Larookie-your being a bit judgemental, NOT everyone or place in the U.S is materialistic, you saying that makes you sound ignorant.
    I dont need to belittle or bash other countries to make myself feel better and im pretty sure thats not helping your self confidence in a positive way.
    This page is pretty vague which makes it more versatile, its a good way, i believe, to help those who need a self confidence boost and to get started in the right direction for positive self feelings. If people are visiting this website, including myself, then they are trying to do something to help themselves and i think its great that there is information like this on the web!

  648. Deepa says:

    In the present time self confidence is must, these steps are will really help us

  649. I never thought I could possibly come across an article on boosting self-confidence and must admit that I learnt a lot.I am a student in Limkokwing Varsity in Botswana

  650. daya says:

    I would say that self confidence is the best friend when you are e strangled and venerable by some even I have observed this important thing in my life, confidence is only that cure which prevents you from this evil suffer.

  651. mbogro says:

    Thanks for the tips, they seem easy to use

  652. safeena says:

    I was tying to boost up my confidence. Thank u for this short and neat key points.
    I would like to learn more about gaining self respect and confidence to start a new business and for family success.

  653. courtney says:

    I always try to dress neat/ clean, fix my hair and make up the best possible and FORGET IT!

    If I go to the pool in my suit, even if I don’t exactly love how I look in it, I say ‘scr*w it!’ and dive in! who cares how i look, anyway. Did I come to win a fashion show? no i came to swim and have fun. It’s such a downer when people are too self preoccupied to be in the moment.

    I just want to tell people, ‘come on! life’s too short!’

  654. joemarie says:

    w3w …………………………………………

  655. dina says:

    ahm my biggest problem is,no self confidence,
    thank you for the idea how to get self confidence.
    i try this..tnx…

  656. sem says:

    feeling great about yourself is the best feeling ever!

  657. asim says:

    good steps thank u very much

  658. syed safdar says:

    nice article…self confident people can achieve great success in life…

  659. Js says:

    thank you for posint this up…

    I am doing a research on “creating a technique to build self-confidence during public speaking”

    I would have to create my own method and put it on a website.

    Would appreciate some help if anyone has any suggestion on how to build self confidence? Thank You! =D

    This site is really helpful. thanks a lot!

  660. swati says:

    ya its working very nice steps

  661. S.ASHOK BERNARD says:

    i have gone through the above points today and i will start working from right
    now and pls also e mail different articles to create self confidence and i am
    happy and going to take a new life

  662. S.ASHOK BERNARD says:

    really wonderful steps and i am follwoing right now

  663. Francisco Gomez says:

    thank you so much…i am one of those people that looks lowly upon themselves. i am always beating myself up for what i CANT DO or for what i am not, but i have to start looking at the things i can do! playing baseball really requires alot of self confidence, and by following these 10 tips, i have a good feeling that i am going to be one heck of a baseball player!! thank you again:)

  664. Swapnil Sid says:

    heY! thank you so much! i’m starting to follow these right now!!

  665. mark says:

    mike “loorokie” you can continue to live in China, we don’t want you here

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  667. No. 10 is suggested in the Bible about success.

  668. abhy pandey says:

    it is good points for increase self confidence because if you are follow good habits it is convert in your self confidence it is depend on you which point you get healthy manners or other way.

  669. abhy pandey says:

    if you have loose your self confidence first you share your problems or you can not share your problem then write in a paper because you share your problem it is decrease your problem level and support to other way so share your thoughts.

  670. narinder dhir says:

    my problem is that i am afraid of competition ! how can i get rid of it???

  671. ashly says:

    this steps not very easy.weak people can not do it.This is my opinion

  672. Rajesh Detroja says:

    This is really good. please help me someone for give step by step how to follow above the steps.

  673. sutanuka says:

    really found a good one after a long search

  674. sutanuka says:

    really found a good one after a long search..

  675. abhaya says:

    i ws badly needing it.. thnkx a lot…

  676. silvine says:

    thankyou very much for this information, really needed it. hope my life all together will take a different dirrection.

  677. lakshmi sharma says:

    hey these tips are really useful…. they are actually a boost to everyone.

  678. Ivan Dyn says:

    LOVE the personal commercial tip. By doing this exercise you’ll unconsciously tell condition yourself to talk in a positive way.

  679. This is an interesting article about the various aspects of confidencce. I have recently read a book which would support some of the statements but also it challenges some of the comments too. Well worth a read if you get the chance. The book is called Inspirational Leadership, the guy also rights a blog which also has some interesting views on management styles

  680. Good information, thanks for posting that. I have bookmarked your site and will come back to see what else you have to say. Building confidence is so challenging for me that the more information I have the better: there are so many ideas and people to learn from. I am looking forward to coming back and learning some more to help make a difference to my confidence levels and my life. thankyou David

  681. aklima says:

    I’m too shy to speak out loud in crowds or do presentations in front of people. So this may really help me bring my confidence level up.
    Thank you. =)

  682. wiki says:

    good tips~ love it

  683. Praveen sai says:

    Thank u for a valuable information about self confident

  684. HT says:

    Thanks for the tips. Another useful blog post to chew on.

  685. MissT says:

    Not sure who has plagiarised who but this information is identical to ezine article…ummm – doesnt anybody in the states have anything new and fresh to say?

  686. Awesome says:

    My dick is gianormous!!!!

  687. John Forrest says:

    Good suggestions. Check out for more information on proven methods used to build self esteem and self confidence.

  688. Portia says:

    I am realy motivated by your suggstions.thank u very much and keep up the good work!

  689. Avneet says:

    Mind blowing article…

  690. kalim says:

    these are really helpfull tips to build self confidence

  691. SSG says:

    Very good suggestion. I am impressed

  692. saida issah says:

    i like this all the these tips above visual. makes one pictures herself in those situations.thank you. i got exactly what i needed.

  693. tejashree says:

    i like too much this suggestion and i should be develope my confident level by adopting this all things its very important to build our currier life.

  694. Charulata says:

    Very well said, Wonderful thoughts very Motivating….Thanks

  695. Mohammad mohsin says:

    Well done
    Nice style of telling some difficult points in an easy way, I hope you will write more useful articles on building the confidence issue.

    Many of us don’t know importance to build our self confidence and how we can improve our confidence.

    Your tips are powerful enough to motivate one and to build one’s self confidence instantly, especially your point of view to build confidence form compliments, speech, dress and posture.

    But I am really unable to understand how can self confidence is improved by
    “Walking faster” and “focusing on contribution”.

    also visit

  696. khilesh says:

    very nice this helps me to change my life…..

  697. Nisar says:

    nyc to groom our self confidnc………, NIsss…..!!!

  698. aj says:

    impressed …now feeling very much confident…boom boom!!!!

  699. Emo says:

    On my oppinion, reaaaally vague techniques and ineffective techniques have been offered here…..I do not agree with walk faster thing…..WALK SLOWER….do things slower. First you’ll have the time to think about things while you’re doing them and what should be the next thing to do and second a self confident person in as an independant person, master of his/her time. You have calculated how long you’ll need to go somewhere. Of course to make yourself important in the eyes of somebody you can always say that you are very busy or you don’t have the time, but I thought the main goal of the article si to make yourself important and meaningfull in you own eyes…….;)

    I could add to that from my own experience….
    1. Spend some more time infront of the mirror and try to correct whatever you do not like in your outlook and try to understand how cool you actually are.
    2. GO TO THE GYM. First it takes the stress away and it gives you very good positive vibe and even your body is tired your mind is rested and stress hase been pushed out. And finally in couple of months when you look stand infront of the mirror you will see how cool you really are.
    3. Be different than the others. I am not talking about beeing outsider or something like that, but just try to show with some details in your stile in your way of talking and remebmer that this is your unique thing. It is what makes you different than everyone else. And knowing that you’re different in some positive way is enough to make you feel more confident…..:)
    There are many many things but I beleive that people wil find their own trikcs of knowing that they are worth talking to once they go down this road….:)

  700. Atif jadoon says:

    thanks for shearing you experiences through web, i m really very impressed and know that why i have lost my self confidence tell today. from today i will be start my new life with full self confidence. thanks again

  701. ashwini says:

    its very nice and basic thing to build selfconfidence

  702. jenkins says:

    its really superb.i am going to try this

  703. dheer says:

    gud ..1

  704. dheer says:

    gud 1..

  705. arshad ejaz says:

    very well said and impressive suggestions regarding self confidence, it will help alot.
    arshad ejaz

  706. Caprice says:

    Thank you for all your tips , they are very good , exped i have a problem with my leg and i cant walk fast , so i dont really no what to say to the walking fast tip. No affence people need to understand that people have problems and not all off us can do nomal things that other people do.
    Thank you for all the other tips though, They really help.

    From Caprice xxx

  707. ahsin says:

    i am here to just ans the objection of emo that walking fast doesn’t works, i agree that it doesnt works always but it works to build confidence, many of times slow walking effect on this

  708. Rakesh says:

    It’s a very good suggesion. I’ve started following it.

  709. REEM says:


  710. Anna says:

    All very well for the able body, but what about people with physical disabilities who cannot walk fast or have a good posture? I am one of these people and I suffer from lack of self confidence on a grand scale. How do I improve myself from a wheelchair?

  711. yve says:

    its good ive learned a lot!! Thanks…!

  712. Ulugbek says:

    thanks :)))))

  713. moder says:

    good work buddy
    anyone wants to learn more about building the confidence visit
    its cool

  714. don says:

    nice to read………tanx

  715. kiki says:

    this is really helpful, ill keep this in mind ^-^

  716. Jackson Mutie says:

    very true indeed

  717. I know says:

    Some of them may help you.

    But no 10 steps, there is only one way for instilling self confidence. Just progress in your job, profession, position or whatever you want by planning. Once you achieve it, the light comes from within. You are standing erect and walking quickly but constantly failing in your work life. Eventually you would again loose your confidence.

  718. amisha tyagi says:

    this was a aussom suggestions n i think tht i also have this type of prob.!!!
    but i must try to follow some of them……..

  719. Igrar says:

    I feel really confident when a bunch of cash is in my pocket :)

    Great article :)

  720. s.alagarsamy says:

    its very nice really helpful to improve my self confidence

  721. KHAWAR says:

    It is a great step to help cowheart people.

  722. Adposting says:

    yes, very good information

  723. david says:

    Listen guys, I’ve read a bunch of spiritual books, bought a ton of self help. This advice right here is IT. If you just apply what is right here, I’m absolutely sure the many other pieces will fall in place. You’ll probably start taking care of yourself better, being more present, cultivating genuine love, eating healthier, and start gaining spiritual depth. Drop all those self help programs if you can just DO what is being said right here. I truly feel the person who wrote this is genuinely confident in a rare way. Peace and love yall!

  724. Swara says:

    Hi All,
    I need to some suggestions. I just wants to improve my English communication like written & verbal. Due this point , I dont have self confidance. I want to improve it. Please suggest/give me some helpful ideas.

    Thanks in advance,

  725. Pingback: Best Self Improvement Blog

  726. aditya sahay says:

    I feel gud after reading these things..hope i make the most of it very soon.

  727. Hrujith Thiruvilwamala says:

    * I am fully agreed with these 10 precious STEPs, and i should follow it from today itself…
    Thank u verymuch for giving such a valuable advice for all *

  728. fakiha naseem, says:

    these will very helpful to me,i will do it.thanks allot .

  729. Pingback: Protecting Yourself With Confidence | UPlan

  730. This is good stuff.

    I appreciate the message and the clarity. It is a reminder to ‘check in’ with myself more frequently and do a better job monitoring the details. You have also given me cause to consider what I am doing well and where I need improvement.

    Thoughtful and gently inspiring.

    Thank you for creating this.

    Very nice website, BTW.

    Regards from paradise,


  731. nikhil says:

    i will try these techniqes in my life. lets hope for the best.

  732. mordecai says:

    nice talk, bt i dont agree wit workin fast. U jst ned 2 be ur self and stay very concious. Bt dnt b wek. Workin fast may attract unneceesry attention 2wards u and u becom object of ridicul.

  733. Charla Yates says:

    There are some attention-grabbing points in time on this article but I don’t know if I see all of them heart to heart. There is some validity but I’ll take hold opinion until I look into it further. Good article , thanks and we wish extra! Added to FeedBurner as effectively

  734. Fredrick says:

    I want to improve on my speaking publicly

  735. mugur says:

    hey u should start reading some english books and listen to the radio… i recommend bbc radio 4 they have some nice theatre plays during noon and afternoon…try listening bbc radio 1 in the morning also from 6 to 10 there is a nice show that really makes your day. by practicing you will get better there is no other way also try writting something like essays 200 words per essay one at 2 weeks should be enough about any topic and then your essay should be corrected by someone who speaks english properly.hope you improve soon just dont give up!!!

  736. Pingback: One Hundred Annoying Habits of Successful Entrepreneurs | Web 3.0

  737. Paradox says:

    I do not agree. Yes, it can help, but those aren’t the ways that will help on the long run. Very soon, things will be as same as before, if not worse. Why? Because the main problem is not changed – your way of thinking. There are no magic tricks like ones that you numbered.
    That process is slow and hard, but it can be made by everyone!
    I myself has helped several people and confirm that it is possible.

    I’ll give you some guidance: set of rules that you will respect, at any time and place!
    Rule no.1: First thing that has priority about everything is YOU! Nobody else! Remember that for any occasion. You and only you will stand for you. Don’t count on anyone to help you. If someone does – good for you. But that’s it! Defend yourself, don’t allow anyone to step on you at any cost, because damage that can do is far more worse than what can happen if you defend yourself (you may loose your job? Big deal, you’ll find another. If you stay on the job where anyone can step on you, soon your health will suffer, your personal life, depression… Is it worth?).
    Rule no.2: Do not allow discussion about your way of thinking. Do not allow to drag yourself into discussion – you are already lost. Stop any try from anyone by simply sarcasm or irony. Do not allow to be questioned – you are always right! It’s sound silly – how can u always be right? You can’t, but if you repeat that to yourself, you will show that you’ll not tolerate to be taken for granted by others. You will show character.

    On the end, everything what is all that about is – how you will present yourself to others, what picture they will get from you. Because, you are the one who create that picture, were you aware of that or not!

  738. Ebube says:

    Am awfully grateful.I can now deal with it.

  739. sylvain says:

    very interesting, easy to read and very helpful…thanks!

  740. Esther says:

    great article………….keep it up,hoping to seee more of this.

  741. Meg says:

    Why ‘herself’ and not ‘themselves’? ‘Herself’ is a sexist terms a sit excludes ‘himself’ and vice-versa.

  742. Soudeh says:

    I read all your suggestion one after one. they are great. Thanks

  743. Soudeh says:

    I read all your positive suggestions. They are really great. Thanks

  744. jerry says:

    thanks for your makes my thoughts so clear..

  745. Anthony Asegah says:

    This are great ideas i was looking for. i am not that bad in these aspects but i needed to build more ideas from this. thanks a lot

  746. bukata ishaya says:

    I am really impress by these ideas. Thank you

  747. bukata ishaya says:

    Thank you for all this ideas

  748. shaina mehta says:

    i am inspired with the ideas.thanks.

  749. RAMYA says:

    Really its true…… will really work out in everyone’s life………….

  750. surya says:

    all suggestions are superb. Am totally impressed… thank u so much

  751. Vikash says:

    Dear Sir,
    I have read your comments.its really energatic and impressed topics.

  752. Bimal paudel says:

    Thank you so much for sharing your supuberb ideas for enchancing the cofidence for the happiness of intellectual and grand mankind..

  753. wilsyl says:

    thank you for those
    ideas that you share with us…

  754. Vandana says:

    Good post.
    Thank you for sharing your valuable information,you might find this presentation interesting.

  755. uchenna solomon says:

    i read your topics, they are all intersting. am impressed. Thanks alot

  756. uchenna solomon says:

    i read your topics they are all wonderful, am impresed .Thanks

  757. hypnopardis says:

    Did you try any possible approach but it didn’t help? Do you want to build a powerful self confidence in a very easy way with sustainable result forever?

    Imagine what you can do with a powerful self confidence, you’ll be able to do anything. Change your life in any way you want it to change. Boost your self confidence and create a protection shield which you can use to protect yourself from unwanted feelings and things going on around you. Surprise yourself how fast you can build an extreme powerful self-confidence.

  758. vandana says:

    Thank you for sharing your valuable information.I found them really great.
    you might find this resource interesting.

  759. allen says:

    buiding the confidence in your life ,the more you wanna be ,the better you are

  760. Pingback: Dating Confidence – 25 Articles for Having First-Date Confidence |

  761. Rishi Raj says:

    these ideas are very helpful in the way of making success.

  762. Lainna says:

    These concepts are so simple yet powerful! Thanks for the reminder! Application is key! I’ll be sure to make these practices something I add to my daily actions!

  763. Jalal Bazwan Shinwari says:

    Dear Sir/Madam;
    This was amazing 10 steps, and i will say that it is the summary of the full book of D. Carnegie (How to speak efficiently….).

    I am wishing you long long life with much successes and victories in your life!!!

    Best Regards;
    Jalal Bazwan Shinwari
    Kabul Afghanistan

  764. mohammad mohsin says:

    nice tips… but i don’t agree with walking faster

  765. sphaniram says:

    now i start applying these things ! if they succeed ill again give a comment

  766. jamie says:

    Here’s a comment I wrote on Linkedin which I thought I’d share with you…

    Confidence is a result. It is built through time like any learning process. It requires action to get the ball rolling…the rest in my experience tends to fall in to place if you’re committed to it. We all start out shaky…that’s just life. For a longtime I used to believe I had to be perfect – that stops confidence dead! Nikes ‘just do it’ phrase has some real merit and I also appreciate it doesn’t always feel easy. Sometimes, if it’s really important you just have to do it and ignore those thoughts that say you can’t or you’re not good enough, because it’s your thinking that creates the fear. Nothing else…fear is a self created illusion.A poor use of the magic you have available in your imagination.

    Please feel free to contact me

  767. Vishnu says:

    Good article…….
    thank u for explaning on the external factors which can make me confident and positive……

  768. Tanmi Gold says:

    Good ways to improve self confidence, at times when we feel low. But, to maintain a long lasting confidence levels, one must develop a complete strong personality.

  769. Ravi says:

    Read all the suggestions to build self confidence , and I could connect with all of these as being low in confidence myself.

    Thanks a lot for the information sure will be of great help to me/others.

  770. SAUMYA RANJAN says:

    Finding the above ways interesting, will definately try these to change my way of looking at things.

    take care

  771. Ahsin says:

    hay guys!
    check my work want your support
    I write best of me and best of my articles
    I am working on confidence building too and i need your support and suggestions

    I have learned all this by studying many books and taking many lectures, now i want to share with all those who want to build their confidence.
    For a longtime I used to believe I had to be perfect – that stops confidence dead! Nikes ‘just do it’ phrase has some real merit and I also appreciate it doesn’t always feel easy. Sometimes, if it’s really important you just have to do it and ignore those thoughts that say you can’t or you’re not good enough, because it’s your thinking that creates the fear.

    A great figure or physique is nice, but it’s self-confidence that makes someone really sexy.

    Its a little effort,I developed a great sense of self-confidence when I was very young.

    I emphasize self-esteem, self-confidence, and dignity, not as an ideal, but as a real test of community organization. Without leadership development, community organizations do not have staying power.


    check it and feedback me… just a minute from your side for my effort

  772. Hey, great information & awesome site! I truly believe that every human activity is dictated by a person’s confidence or lack thereof. Without it, your life is meaningless and success is minimal. Check out my blog building and feel free to comment and follow. I will be sure to return the favor. Thanks!

  773. i really enjoyed reading this tips. i learned many new ideas that will help me to build more confidence. thank you :))

  774. ayush says:

    i relly like this site !! thanks!1

  775. paplu datta says:

    really all those suggestion will definitely help for every people in the world.

  776. karl yildiz says:

    excellent advice, thanks.

  777. guta says:

    i really love the suggestion, i need it so badly and i hope that will work for me

  778. Pingback: Finding Your Life's Purpose Part 2 | Tavis Smiley | PBS

  779. Shriram says:

    I think this article is really good n everyone who has lost his/her confidence or wanted to build confidence shud read it and also try to implement.While reading i came to know that i have lost my confidence n i need to use ur tips of confidence,thanks for your help this site and initiotor is really doing good job,i appretiate ur work!

  780. Daivat thakur says:

    i like ur article. I hope it will help to enhance my self confidence. Till i not very happy. i required much more step for increasing self confidence. I hope u will impeove ur article

  781. rosalie says:

    thank you so much! Its a great help for those who are in fear to express their self . Yeah.. we need to gain more confidence so that in the end there are no regrets and sorrow. :) god bless!

  782. susanta says:

    really your advice r very helpful for all

  783. shubh says:


  784. diane says:

    ….,,tnx. for the suggestion, I try those things to improve my self-confidence…,,

  785. Billy says:

    Great list! Perfect to use as a daily or weekly quick reminder.

  786. Fasheehudeen says:

    Thanks for sharing the views, greatly appreciated.

  787. arpit says:

    i really like this as it help me in getting boost up

  788. govi says:

    it is really true, i will apply it, thanx

  789. Joshua says:

    Everything you have said here will work to create a better self esteem. I love it!

    I especially like what you said about “your perception of yourself will have an enormous impact on how others see you”. This is SO true.

    If you change the way you see yourself, you can most defitely help to change the way others see you too!

    What a great blog!

    To discover my #1 secret for breaking out of a negative self image, visit the my website link below!

  790. galaxy kumar says:

    if anyone acts upon it,,,he wuld surly gain confidence

  791. stella maris says:

    How inspirational, thanks for helping us discover how best we can motivate and carry ourselves i see a great change in me.

  792. raj says:

    well by reading the article itself i feel that it will work good,,,,,,so i will implement all things into my life,,,thank you people for supporting this article

  793. revathi says:

    Really i inspire when i read these all things.

  794. monik says:

    Well…all suggestion are good.


  795. sumit kumar gupta says:

    its very nice msg for every one .thanks

  796. seen says:


  797. akbar says:

    its really great msg towards confusion…..

  798. ram says:

    its good word’s for people who devlop self confidence

  799. rajitha says:

    i learned a lot very thankfull to u……..

  800. farhan says: helped me a lot

  801. raza says:

    i also lack self confidence..confuse in front of people, especially who are elders.i hope this page will help me in building my confidence..thanx a lot

  802. Keshav Ghimire says:

    thanks a lot.. because i got useful suggestion.

  803. tabu says:

    it is very helpful for me.thank you so much

  804. dennis says:

    gr8 advice! Am prolly gonna maximise dem.

  805. Pingback: 7 Ways to Overcome the Fear of Failure

  806. Jabbu says:

    Excellent Tips !!!! I learned a lot from this article, hoping more …. Thanks !!

  807. Pingback: 10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence | Kevin Powell-Self Improvement

  808. krishan dhanwaria says:

    great teaching in this site…..gud work!!!!!!!

  809. Cas says:

    Tanx alot, nw am proud of my self cos my self confidence is high

  810. Ravish says:

    Thanks a lot for your it really is neccesary to tell the people the correct things which help them improve themselves thanks a looooooooooooooooot

  811. kishor says:

    hy…….this is very nice messange
    thanks lots

  812. hypnopardis says:

    (Video) How Much Self Confidence Do You Want?

  813. George says:

    Was a short, but helpful points to grow one’s selfconfidence

  814. cody says:

    thanks hope this work cause i need this before i go to college

  815. nazima says:

    thanks a lot..this is really helpful for me to increase my confidence…

  816. Jaffar says:

    V should have self confident but of some resons we will lost it so by reading this sentence i got my confident back dude

  817. Najib says:

    thanks alot…hopn more

  818. John Walley says:

    I agree. Believe it or not many people struggle with low self confidence. Many would be surprised to know the level of value that exercises like these provide to the average Joe and the Entrepreneur.

  819. Chris says:

    Good post. Only thing I have to disagree with is the moving fast part. While you shouldn’t walk too slow, moving faster makes you look like your in less control of yourself and time. Working out is great advice though. You don’t have to go overboard but its good to stay in shape.

  820. waseem asif says:

    those people who want to improve yourself its good for them . every one should
    be improve our abilities like selfconfidence, wellpower,comunication,knowledge,personality and so many other things

  821. anuradha.N says:

    Its good and very useful

  822. Arun says:

    Its realy nice

  823. Mario says:

    thank you very much for the motivation… one question, if someone lacks confidence does it make them depressed?,beacuse latey i feeldown about eveything for no reason at all just watchin other people and not being able to come close to wat u want to be.
    but anyways thankz again PEACE

  824. ritu says:

    hey, thanks for this wonderful’s really worth it.

  825. Vinay says:

    This is very good. Please should follow above mentioned points and improve their self confidence.

  826. Farooq says:

    i have to read it artical throughly i like it thank you very much for posting keep it up

  827. Jeff Criswell says:

    This all sounds like a lot of BS to me. Like when a mother wants a uncooperative kid to eat all their vegetables they will say things like’ “Eating you vegetables will make your eyesight better.” I think most of these suggestions is from someone who likes to dictate how others dress and act but can just come out and say it so instead he/she uses the above. “If you dress better…etc.

  828. Sam says:

    Thanks for your great blog, I just subscribed to your blog so that i won’t miss any thing new nor do i forget the URL.
    best wishes, keep up this nice blog

  829. Pingback: A timely reminder…. « Dailymulling's Blog

  830. G.boy says:

    I see an improvement in my self leaving a comment. Thumbs up


  832. Khalid Mitchell says:

    Thanks for taking the time to do this article

  833. joshe says:

    felt that my self esteem was improved after reading this

  834. Fahad says:

    Its really a good can i print it.

  835. Khan says:

    Really! impressive tips which would help me to get out from difficulties.

  836. PATTUGALAN says:

    two thumbs for this blog!!! Helps me a lot..Thanks

  837. lotty fitzpatrick says:

    Hey great blog but i suffwr very badly with self confidance i work out eat healthy and well most of the things on your list i feel very depressed sometimes about myself i dont understand why becuase i am forever gettimg compliments and even have a great life with my fioncee and his family but i just cant seam to feel good about myself :(

  838. Rahul Maan says:

    ohhh….I Knew That All….

  839. rik says:

    very good advice.

  840. chrysanthus says:

    wow is really great to hear this,i’m just a web suffer and was wanting to get such a message,hope it helps me because i lack it and its very annoying.i sweat alot when i talk to almost everybody,lack words to say,and also become conused,which makes me look like a fool.

  841. Akhil RV says:

    Thanks a lot

  842. Shahnawaz says:

    very nice ,all 10 points r very effective,

  843. chakravarthy says:

    Reaaly Good One @ Every One Should Follow These Steps

  844. avantika says:

    SO sweet it increase confident & we never shy to express thoughts in front of anyone

  845. avantika says:

    When u happy change your life by its own easily & your confident & self esteem is increase that ‘s god gift for u. So be happy ever.

  846. anita says:

    Its very good artical if we should appy on our life we will be successfull person in the life

  847. zenith says:

    it is absolutely nice article.

  848. Manpreet says:

    Very nice article

  849. aymen says:

    i agree its realy so nice.

  850. kshitij agrawal says:

    self confidence is very important for a man to be a perfect man.

  851. sriya says:

    nice ………………………………………

  852. vinod kumar says:

    good one………….

  853. Akhilesh says:

    Thanks 4 this topic..

  854. Lucy says:

    yaya bitch

  855. fasahat says:

    It really works if u follow that points.

  856. cas says:

    am realy grateful cos dis has truely helped me in building my self confidence, my advice 2 people is 2 imbibe dis ten ways cos it rily worked 4 me.

  857. shameen says:

    nic e article

  858. Norine says:

    Just reading this helped me out. Reading this made me have thoughts on when i felt uncomfortable with myself. It made me realize that i don’t need anyone to look up to, when the one person i should look up to is myself. I don’t know why i didn’t see it before, but i am my own leader.(: This is really good advice and i am going to use it. Thanks so much.

  859. Gauri shankar says:

    This is very needful for own life

  860. Anusuya says:

    very good article for the betterment of attitude and confidence level…

  861. Archna says:

    Nice post…I really enjoy this..
    And definitely going to adopt these steps…


  862. Michael says:

    Good tips.

    Another good tip I can give is to *face your fears*. The more fears you face, the more confident you will become and your character will become much stronger.

    Try it and you’ll see 😉

  863. sadikshya says:

    i feel shy 2 grate my deep con fidence but now i feel grave confidence,,,,,,, Zoot

  864. sanyukta says:

    hey!!!!!!!really it works

  865. phrank says:

    I’m happy I ended up on this page somehow, dint regret time spent reading this points on how to boosten self confidence, clicked in my head and I know its going to work for me. This is priceless but thanx a milli……TeGa from Nigeria

  866. Rod says:

    I really need this. I’m 24, and feel a little low about myself at times, but glad I came across this page.

  867. Vicky S. says:

    Great tips! Key is to take the focus off ourselves to see how we can help other people. When we are driven by the desire to help others, we will find a source of strength and confidence that we never thought we had.

  868. Kushum says:

    Why didnt i read this article b4? I am very grateful to these tips

  869. Laura says:


  870. Suraj Mokal says:

    This tips is very nice…..
    It is very useful for myself….

  871. Emily says:

    i just wanna say that i’m currently going through anxiety and i’m going to try and follow these things. I’ll see if it works. sounds like it will though. :)

  872. Jay says:

    hi friends
    u r here for knowledge about self confidence from my opinion this article abt self confidence is one of the better. In that way we can understand how to build self confidence …………..

  873. Tmeadows92 says:

    I appreciate this article. I am already doing a few of these things but there are some things I never really thought about that effect self confidence. I didn’t think about making a little speach to tell myself in the mirror, some mornings I could really use a confidence booster and I think that will work wonders =)

  874. Akhil says:

    Such a great article. This will definitely help towards boosting self confidence.  The ways enumerated are really very practical.
    Akhil Srivastava, Lucknow

  875. Helpmeguys says:

    Hi ppl ! M 16 and I just came from another country and ma accent is totally different I tried hard to pickup wit American accent ! Ma mates in high school made fun of me and I laughed wit tem too ! But at the end of the day I do care wat ppl say ! I was the most popular girl in ma native-school and it’s not even abt being popular but i dnt hav many friends and tat make me feel worse ! I dnt talk to ppl a lot .. I became kinda reserved here … Plz help if u can

  876. A2022750 says:

    who re-upped for two Eagles Michael Vick Authentic Jersey years, as a joker type who can play either strong side linebacker or defensive end.

  877. JONAOBELLA says:

    jona, fortunately this implies that confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.

  878. Pingback: Are You Inspired To Lead With Confidence? | Keenan Dijon

  879. I'll help you says:

    Hey dont worry its not a big problem i had it once also, but it can be removed like a hair from a surface of milk. contact me on my email (

  880. I'll help you says:

    Hey dont worry its not a big problem i had it once also, but it can be removed like a hair from a surface of milk. contact me on my email (

  881. please….help me… all my life i have been overweight now i have to start my story from the beginning i was born in Manhattan and i lived there for a few years and then i moved to the Bronx at age 11, in a neighborhood heavy of Jamaicans and puerto ricans, im Dominican. i couldn’t afford much, me my mother and  brother (No father he left me when i was 2 years old) were living under section 8 housing even with the city’s help it was tough paying the bills, i was living in a very tough neighborhood, i saw my first dead body when i was 12 from a shootout across from my building, either you was a bully or a punk that’s the way it was, so imagine school. now i been a good kid when i was growing up in Manhattan i knew the neighborhood had lots of fun etc so when i moved i changed the way i think , spoke etc school for me was ….well picture yourself in a class full of bullies some were doing there school work others was fighting for a drop of a dime this was elementary school, my life changed though when i went to middle school….

    now i was in the most dangerous middle school in the city Richard R Green MS113  (here’s a review     )  i was a 13 years old 6th grader in a class full of 14,15,16,17 year old’s . i passed my classes and still to this day i have no idea how i did it…all i did was sit in class and do NOTHING my class would go CRAZY!!! during the day. if a teacher walks into class all the students would curse out the teacher , throw tables  across the room,  fight alot etc and the school wouldn’t do a thing about it, I was in the middle of this this would continue for all 3 years 6th,7th and 8th grade, NOW…

    i always been overweight, every-time i would get in an argument in class they would target my weight at first it didn’t bother me but overtime it gotten very serious , i gotten into fights when i was made fun of and i won them but i wasn’t the same, i then became very insecure about my weight.

     now lets fast forward to high school, im 15 this is where my life turn upside down, i made alot of friends in High School during my freshman year i was the class clown type. then one day on my bus ride back home my friend met up with two girls who knew him from back than they took one look at me and starting going on and on and on AND ON about how fat i am my friend told me don’t listen too them and we went home all there disses stayed in my head running back and forth i started missing class i said later to my mom than i went to the roof and stayed there all day by myself i started missing so many days of school it was like each time i would go to school as the months go by , sooner or later i was targeted for my weight, since my high school was the type that i could leave at ANY time and the school wouldn’t care i usually did and of course i ended up repeating the 9th grade

    it gotten so drastic that i just stopped going to school all together,  my house phone would ring alot it would either be the school calling about me or my friends wondering why  i aint showing up, of course i didn’t tell them my problems i gotten on a diet and started working out i ended up dropping outta high school im 17 at this point i started getting depressed i tried suicide multiple times  didnt work i ended up just staying in the house for days and days until February of this year. 2011 Im 19 now with no GED or High school diploma scared to go outside because i think everybody is looking at my weight most of my friends is in rikers prison or dropped out as well. in February i up my diet and workout i was weighing 234 pounds  its now august and i am weighing 187 pounds and still going i also put muscle on my arms and legs i went from a size 38 to a size 32 in jeans, so there’s that but MY FEARS ARE STILL THERE!!!  i am still scared of going outside im going to study for my GED this September but im scared i wont be able too because of my thoughts , i still see myself fat in the mirror even though EVERYONE I KNOW tells me i am skinny i  cant see what they see, this is my life at this point and i don’t know what to do my mom helped me alot on this journey,  but i don’t think i will be here for long as the urges to commit suicide appear again i feel like my life is ruined, i don’t have any confidence at all  no matter what nice things people tell me Help me what can i do to get out this slump in my life.

  882. please….help me… all my life i have been overweight now i have to start my story from the beginning i was born in Manhattan and i lived there for a few years and then i moved to the Bronx at age 11, in a neighborhood heavy of Jamaicans and puerto ricans, im Dominican. i couldn’t afford much, me my mother and  brother (No father he left me when i was 2 years old) were living under section 8 housing even with the city’s help it was tough paying the bills, i was living in a very tough neighborhood, i saw my first dead body when i was 12 from a shootout across from my building, either you was a bully or a punk that’s the way it was, so imagine school. now i been a good kid when i was growing up in Manhattan i knew the neighborhood had lots of fun etc so when i moved i changed the way i think , spoke etc school for me was ….well picture yourself in a class full of bullies some were doing there school work others was fighting for a drop of a dime this was elementary school, my life changed though when i went to middle school….

    now i was in the most dangerous middle school in the city Richard R Green MS113  (here’s a review     )  i was a 13 years old 6th grader in a class full of 14,15,16,17 year old’s . i passed my classes and still to this day i have no idea how i did it…all i did was sit in class and do NOTHING my class would go CRAZY!!! during the day. if a teacher walks into class all the students would curse out the teacher , throw tables  across the room,  fight alot etc and the school wouldn’t do a thing about it, I was in the middle of this this would continue for all 3 years 6th,7th and 8th grade, NOW…

    i always been overweight, every-time i would get in an argument in class they would target my weight at first it didn’t bother me but overtime it gotten very serious , i gotten into fights when i was made fun of and i won them but i wasn’t the same, i then became very insecure about my weight.

     now lets fast forward to high school, im 15 this is where my life turn upside down, i made alot of friends in High School during my freshman year i was the class clown type. then one day on my bus ride back home my friend met up with two girls who knew him from back than they took one look at me and starting going on and on and on AND ON about how fat i am my friend told me don’t listen too them and we went home all there disses stayed in my head running back and forth i started missing class i said later to my mom than i went to the roof and stayed there all day by myself i started missing so many days of school it was like each time i would go to school as the months go by , sooner or later i was targeted for my weight, since my high school was the type that i could leave at ANY time and the school wouldn’t care i usually did and of course i ended up repeating the 9th grade

    it gotten so drastic that i just stopped going to school all together,  my house phone would ring alot it would either be the school calling about me or my friends wondering why  i aint showing up, of course i didn’t tell them my problems i gotten on a diet and started working out i ended up dropping outta high school im 17 at this point i started getting depressed i tried suicide multiple times  didnt work i ended up just staying in the house for days and days until February of this year. 2011 Im 19 now with no GED or High school diploma scared to go outside because i think everybody is looking at my weight most of my friends is in rikers prison or dropped out as well. in February i up my diet and workout i was weighing 234 pounds  its now august and i am weighing 187 pounds and still going i also put muscle on my arms and legs i went from a size 38 to a size 32 in jeans, so there’s that but MY FEARS ARE STILL THERE!!!  i am still scared of going outside im going to study for my GED this September but im scared i wont be able too because of my thoughts , i still see myself fat in the mirror even though EVERYONE I KNOW tells me i am skinny i  cant see what they see, this is my life at this point and i don’t know what to do my mom helped me alot on this journey,  but i don’t think i will be here for long as the urges to commit suicide appear again i feel like my life is ruined, i don’t have any confidence at all  no matter what nice things people tell me Help me what can i do to get out this slump in my life.

  883. Simple_kizz28 says:


  884. mohit says:

    very good and motivational .i rellay inspired thank u so much

  885. mohit says:

    very good and motivational .i rellay inspired thank u so much

  886. Caroline Redden says:

    Your story has really touched me because like you I let fear stop me from moving forward in my life for many many years until I got the courage to take small steps toward change -which take a lot of effort, when in your mind negativity is ingrained…you’ve made a start with the changes so a big well done to you!!! There’s a fabulous confidential helpline call the Samartains that you can e-mail, that can help you with your feelings and help you focus on moving forward and leaving old demons behind to live a more healthy and happy life. I wish you every success with this Michael because your power comes from within and I’ve a hunch you have it! Blessings from Ireland

  887. Dylcoxy says:

    Just speak,thats the only way you will be able to learn,coz then you will be able to know what is right and wrong,they will correct you or God will give you a friend who will help you and not laugh at you.

  888. AJ says:

    Self-confidence comes from self-belief  and self-belief only comes when you truly know within you what you are. 

  889. thank you Caroline i need all the strength i can get new york city is a Huge town i know so many places in this city im so used to it by now and yet im scared … scared of people i guess… i have to break free soon Sept, 1 is right around the corner, i need to start my life, i am so tired of all my fears, once again thank you i truly mean it i will come here from time to time and post updates

  890. Xxmilo360 says:

    thanks.I’m twelve years old and ever teacher I had told me to speak up.I had so much to say but I had the fear of being judged in a good or bad way and having my expectations to high or low  for me to handle.I guess I was just scared.

  891. Scarlet says:

    I think that this is really helpful. Not only did it piont my life in a good direction but it opened up my shell and helped me express the things that i thought were not okay until now

  892. Britts says:

    i have ‘orrible self confidence. 

  893. Hillary says:

    great post. love #4 + 6 good tips. i have found that self confidence also comes from loving your body and doing whatever you want no matter what the voices say. 

  894. jyoti says:

    hi….my problm is dat i dnt feel nw dat i luk great anymre,in colg dys i was more confident abt every thing nd mainly abt my luks,,,,,i do every thing which u mention abv bt aftr sm hrs i feel i m nt lukng good bcz of dis i m loosing my confidence….help me out before i give up…..

  895. Sango_9314 says:

    Since everyone is putting their problems down, I might as well put one of my own

  896. sangog says:

    So since everyone is posing their problems, I figured, I might as well put my own out there. I am very envious of other people and I feel that their accomplishments are worth more than my own. I’m extremely jealous basically. I get jealous over my boyfriend all the time. I get mad when people flirt with him. I get mad at the slightest thing. I don’t want anything bad to happen. please help!

  897. kiran says:

    thank u!!!

  898. kiran says:

    thank u!!!

  899. mai says:

    well, self confidence is a fact.. it helps me a lot.. just want to share something, before i don’t believe in my self..but because of this simple steps and tips it helps me to improve and face other.. I can say “i am grown”

  900. Lemon says:

    i have this problem.. every time i walk in the public i always feels that people are staring at me and laugh at me.. and when i attend parties my mind says that “I DON’T BELONG HERE, they are too social.. pls. give some advice..

  901. KRISHNA says:


  902. liam yhlgaygdl says:

    hi i saw u know alot about this stuff soo i am 15 n i find it hard to speak out and take unless im angry butt i used to be very outgoing and confident now if i see a person i know my belly will go in nots,start to feel sik i also have bad paranoyer both my mum n dad suffer from depression and take drugs i think that could be a little bit why,will u help me if

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