Self confidence is the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared out of your wits. Your perception of yourself has an enormous impact on how others perceive you. Perception is reality — the more self confidence you have, the more likely it is you’ll succeed.
Although many of the factors affecting self confidence are beyond your control, there are a number of things you can consciously do to build self confidence. By using these 10 strategies you can get the mental edge you need to reach your potential.
Talk To Somebody Now about building Self Confidence!
Build Self Confidence
1. Dress Sharp
Although clothes don’t make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don’t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. Use this to your advantage by taking care of your personal appearance. In most cases, significant improvements can be made by bathing and shaving frequently, wearing clean clothes, and being cognizant of the latest styles.
This doesn’t mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. One great rule to follow is “spend twice as much, buy half as much”. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality items. In long run this decreases spending because expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than cheap clothes. Buying less also helps reduce the clutter in your closet.
2. Walk Faster
One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about herself is to examine her walk. Is it slow? tired? painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. Even if you aren’t in a hurry, you can increase your self confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important.
3. Good Posture
Similarly, the way a person carries herself tells a story. People with slumped shoulders and lethargic movements display a lack of self confidence. They aren’t enthusiastic about what they’re doing and they don’t consider themselves important. By practicing good posture, you’ll automatically feel more confident. Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You’ll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.
4. Personal Commercial
One of the best ways to build confidence is listening to a motivational speech. Unfortunately, opportunities to listen to a great speaker are few and far between. You can fill this need by creating a personal commercial. Write a 30-60 second speech that highlights your strengths and goals. Then recite it in front of the mirror aloud (or inside your head if you prefer) whenever you need a confidence boost.
5. Gratitude
When you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you can’t have it. This leads you to dwell on your weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum. You’ll be amazed how much you have going for you and motivated to take that next step towards success.
6. Compliment other people
When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of praising other people. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you’ll become well liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.
7. Sit in the front row
In schools, offices, and public assemblies around the world, people constantly strive to sit at the back of the room. Most people prefer the back because they’re afraid of being noticed. This reflects a lack of self confidence. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over this irrational fear and build your self confidence. You’ll also be more visible to the important people talking from the front of the room.
8. Speak up
During group discussions many people never speak up because they’re afraid that people will judge them for saying something stupid. This fear isn’t really justified. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.
9. Work out
Along the same lines as personal appearance, physical fitness has a huge effect on self confidence. If you’re out of shape, you’ll feel insecure, unattractive, and less energetic. By working out, you improve your physcial appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive. Having the discipline to work out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day.
10. Focus on contribution
Too often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution you’re making to the rest of the world, you won’t worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world the more you’ll be rewarded with personal success and recognition.
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I think the biggest distinction is between temporary psych-up self-confidence and stable, longterm confidence.
The first can be manipulated somewhat by listening to driving music or mental techniques or a recent success whatnot, but the feeling will always go away.
Longterm self-confidence is more of a logical assessment of your abilities rather than a charged up emotional feeling. You just ‘know’ you have a certain value. You raise that by having real accomplishments and strengths, and by getting enough external feedback from the outside world that your positive self-assessment becomes another fact.
correct me if im wrong or give me some advices please. my problem is that im so afraid to spak something out when im in school because my english is a second language to me, and I feel that my classmates will make fun about me.
all of your fellow classmates will respect you 50 tmes more then they already do if you speak out. most of them probably dont say anything in class, and when they see a forgein person speakng about something in a language they know all too well – theyll be impressed.
i shake when i am reading in public. esp when am holding a mic.help
just look above their heads and take a deep breath and remember u are faaar better off than the peopl who are sitting there who will get scared to death by the mere thought f holding a mike..u r more dynamic n confident person than many others sitting down there..
No, many individuals want to hear other students speak from other countries, not that it is funny but because it is interesting. I actually bet you will find more friends in doing this because everyone wants a unique friend they can talk to and get a new prespective. Use your different style to stand yourself out in a good way!
i know how you are feeling, i’m going through that too. i’m really doing my best to change but it’s really hard. i think u should find some help, thats what i’m trying to do, because i know i can’t do it by myself. it sounds like i’m making a big deal out of this, but thats because it is a big deal. not only for high school but for everything else, beeig communicative is very important. and it might seem like i can speak english very good. but thats only writing and reading, because i dont like talking in english. for the same exact reason u said,”i’m afraid they r gonna make fun of me”. but u know what i realized this is more a selfesteem problem that a accent or difference of cultures like i thought. i really hope u realize that too, and that u always look ahead and be succesful!!
Look, we all can pretend all we want to say that “Oh, yeah, listen to some music” or “Oh, yeah, believe in yourself”. But you all know that is a bunch of crap and wenever do that.
What are we always running around the house saying?
How does my hair look?
Do I have something on my shirt?
DID I SIT IN SOMETHING?
And people do look at the clothes a lot.
So maybe clothes don;t make the man…
but you’re sure right about they make you feel good!
well i think ur right
come on i mean im one of those people…I GO CRAZY.
WHAT TOOK MY ATTENTION IS THE POINT WHERE THE WALKING STYLE WAS STATED!
I NEVER KNEW THAT WALKING FAST DEPICTS SELF CONFIDENCE:)
I believe walking fast does depict confidence. When you walk faster you have a drive to get more things accomplished and by accomplishing more things you possibly run into more people, you have brief converstations with each person, and the conversations that you have with each person are just feedback and confirmation that you are a very important person. These converstations usually consist of what is on your agenda and getting to know the other person’s agenda as well.
That was acually the most interesting thing when I read that, because I acually just came from the supermarket and when I went in this peticular time, I knew beforehand what I wanted and it was just 2 things, but get this, the interesting thing was that from the time I got out of the car I realized that I was projecting confidence by the way I was walking cuse I had something to do and was going straight for it. Now, weather conciously thinking it, or subconciously, I realized it therefore upon the realization, my confedence was even boosted more. but either way i knew it and it was surpizing to read that after that just happening
But at the same time, when I went to ask for help from the one girl, n she was kinda cute, I didnt have that same confidence.
so anyway if your wondering how such the coincidence,
well when I got home I googled the word “Confidence” so thats how I got here. Cuse I said to myself I said “self” your gonna get so self confidence.
And I believe that anything you want can and is possible to be attained but you need first to want it, then you need info., then you gotta disipline yourself, to what degree, I guess depends on how much you want it and how enjoyable it is for you.
ok way too much writing, but n e way i its interesting youll read it. so why am I writing this well… I guess i thought it might possible be might help someone out. You know im putting the 10 things into practice. thinking on others. and heck, I just felt like writing.
some feedback… “I feel you”, “ok” “interesting”, “shut up” you know anything.
I don’t agree with the walking faster bit. I suffer from social phobia, and whenever I’m on the street (very seldom) I tend to walk very fast, so that whatever it is I’m doing (e.g. going to the store, work, etc) will be over as soon as possible. I also do so because it gives me the impression that if I walk fast, nobody will have time to notice me.
hey, u know what that’s called, spotlight effect…i read abt that in a newspaper in india b4 i came here to san francisco…its a feeling u get that everyone on the street is looking at YOU ONLY and u feel very conscious abt urself that way…i had that problem too back home..sometimes do feel that way here too..but i guess over time u get over it…. cheers
I loved what your wrote.
Keep doing it.
Sincerely,
Ariella
I definitely agree with you. You cannot veil what is real. What you can do, however, is take a proactive approach. Sometimes it makes sense for our body to lead our emotions and thinking. Think about it: if you are sad, you can keep being sad or you can watch a comedy. I would love for you to check out my blog at http://increaseyourselfconfidence.blogspot.com
i do the same thing
It’s called agrophobia , I have it too , I totaly understand what you mean about walking fast so nobody notices you , But I have come to realise that that isn’t a way to live , all you should say to yourself when your outside is “Who cares if people are looking at me” I mean so maybe they are better looking , maybe they are more intelligent , but at the end of the day we are all human , we are born, we live , we die , so why waste your life thinking about what other people think? they are not worth it! And 90% of the time they arnt looking at you! and the 10% who do look at you don’t care what you look like. It’s one of the hardest phobias to get over but if you don’t you will get to the end of your life and regret not having done more. Email me at Ben.du11@hotmail.fr if you want to chat about it, I will be happy to help you .
Ben
i think i dont have enough self confidence to make friends and the worse thing is that i think i am not attractive to my friends.i am a youngh girl and i need to be attractive especially to my boy friend i would be grateful if you help me
If you want to chat about it email me at Ben.du11@hotmail.fr
hi can some one please help me.
i havent had a job for 2 yrs i have no confidece what so ever i dont like going out side my front door i have scars on my arm from where i was self harming and i dont want people to see i want to get a job but i fail underpressure and i cant wear short sleeves b’coz of my scars lately i been thinking if i dont do some thing now i will end up on my own for ever jobless and just living in my bedroom i havent been out sit for 2yrs and im only 19 please some one help me!!!
do not fear better days will come. put yourself out there and hopefully people will see the great person inside rather than the scars on your arms. that are obviously apart of your past.
Hi Kara, I am really suprised to see so many people here all looking for the same thing …. It relieves me to see that i’m not the only one with this problem …. I think we should be supportive with each other … Well i dont dare talk about it with people in my daily life because you cant trust that they will be supportive about it …
There should be some way we could build a support group with those who are willing …. I think its worth a try …
What I’ve been saying recently is that you never really know what’s going to happen. There is just as much evidence that you will succeed than there is that you will fail. Since you cannot predict the future, predict your own future, take action and see your life change.
i totally agree about having a support group. we all know what its like, the pain of not knowing if theres even a single person out there who would care to listen. i think that feeling compounds the problem because i dont feel like anyone would care or that i should even bother other people about my feelings. but i came here and its very apparant that im not alone. i will talk to and listen to anyone who needs a friend to do so. feel free to email me and we can start a dialogue. that goes out to anyone who needs someone to talk to.
kara dont be such an emo bitch Mmk?
Why did you come on this site if it was to say “dnt be such an emo bitch”? God some people are stupid :/ maybe you should look in the mirror before posting comments like that because noones perfect !
I’m not sure how good this is so late but the last comment you got was a bit much. And if that person was as tough as they made themselfs out to be they would have had a reply option on there comment. Forget people liek that. Lookinto yourself and give you a chance to go out and show poeple what you are about. There are people out there worse off so be thankful for that. Your scars dont make you who you are they just show a path that you had to go down to get ot the place your in. But it dosent mean that you will be in that place forever. Give life a chance to show you that it can get better.
I saw a girl at wendys the other day with cutting scars all the way up her arms. like she had sliced across her arm all the way up. she was wearing short sleeves and she was working. she wasnt smiling but she had a job and was doing a good job. fast food is where to start if you need a job and have no confidence. the fast pace will keep your mind off of other things.
well , I just wanne say that you are not to be afraid on whats on your body, since there are so many people out there lookong what you have got in your mind or your internal beauty just make sure that you have a good heart.when evrer meeting a new people
and be a strong girl mentaly and change this feeling in to some thing postice and powerful to come over
and good luck.
This may be a bit late , but email me at ben.du11@hotmail.fr if you need help
Hey,
I’m just trying to glean from this~ and wondering how to build from the ground up, basically. The last few years I’ve almost completely lost my mobility. I can’t drive, can only walk about 30 paces with a cane, wear a neck brace, ect. and live in a very isolated place.
I don’t have many opportunities to interact with people in real time anymore. My self confidence is constantly bombarded by terrible doctors who don’t want to take the time to understand my rare conditions (and for 20 years told me they were all in my head)
I used to enjoy a lot of activity, taught yoga and loved being athletic and out-going. Now I’m basically trapped most of the time and a burden to the people who agree to help me out- I can work on keeping a grateful heart and focus on my artistic gifts, but isolation just isn’t doing anything for my self confidence, which was never really very great to begin with, especially considering that I do have a mental disorder as well.
Is there a site you can direct me to for disabled people in regards to building confidence? I came here by way of a site on depression- and I imagine if I felt some self confidence I wouldn’t be depressed!
Anyway, thanks for listening.
From somewhere over the rainbow~
zoe
Good post.
Personally I like the point in relation to contribution.
If you constantly focus on and provide value to others, you will automatically gain cofidence.
great strategies for confidence building, some of the comments were very interesting. confidence and self esteem are very close together, that is why most of the time our confidence is based on our emotions and what we think about ourself rather than how confident we are.
If you suffer with low self esteem then your confidence is shaken.
Do you think that we should pay more attention to doing things we know we are good at to help build confidence instead of focusing on our weaknesses,
if you find all the things helpful that every one has suggested you should try learning some basic N.L.P. from chris howard, you can dl via bit torrent, hes changed my life and gives life skills for sucess, also vocabulary can change your life aswell, all sucsessful peoples vocabulary is vary high.
sincerely jaba jones
p.s. i hope some one looks into this, even just listening to it once through will give you many tools FOR LIFE
I totally agree with Chris here. Anyhow, whether one’s self confidence is temporary or longterm, it’s still a very good thing to have!
Yes, he definitely has a point. But I also think that if you regularly do things that build self confidence (even if it is temporary) that confidence boost will lead to concrete success and reinforce your self confidence even more.
There is no quick fix here, but by controlling your behavior I think a permanent improvement is possible.
correct me if im wrong but i believe that if someone walks at a normal pace looking aroung not in a rush, at least it appears to me that he is more confident than someone who walks faster
its about moderation,not too fast ,nor too slow,if we go by speed,someone running,then will be said to have a higer self confidence,Thats not the case,
Walking faster will not make you “more confident.” It’s the opposite. Walking fast makes you seem like you have obligations, for which people will be displeased with you if you’re late. As if they’ll downright leave you if you’re late. However, walking slow is more confidence thing. It says, “I don’t need to get their fast because people will wait on me.”
i dont think so
as it depends what you think while you walk..
first attitude
if you think tht u are going hurry somewhere; thn tht wnt hlp u as it passes a sense of inferiority in u.
bcoz if u were to be superior than u are nt answerabe to anyone
secoend attitude
u think tht u are goning for an innovation[accepting the fact tht u are most worthiest man on planet] at that time no one can stop u from becoming a highly confident person
It’s a combination of walking fast and having a posture (shoulders up, etc.) Think about walking fast, energetic with your shoulders up and ‘confident,’ as opposed to walking slow and confident, as you don’t give a damn, or fast with your shoulders down and hunched over, obligated to get places in time. Hope all you see the point – I’m new to this. G.
Dressing sharp always works for me. I used to take exams in slacks and nice shirt!
This desire to have self confidence is the bane of American society. The fact that people haven’t caught on to this is pretty sad. The fact that there are still lists of 10 ways to get more confident is even more sad.
In my opinion, coming to peace with oneself, the role you occupy in your own life is the key to having ‘confidence’. And even then, it is a form of confidence that is diametrically opposed to the one presented here.
Also, while being good at something sure does give you confidence, it also has the caveat of making everyone want to be the best.
I feel cheap to cite a book that’s been written over 3000 years ago (but people should read the Tao at least once in their lifetimes): “Oversharpen a knife and it will dull quickly”.
The point being that being bigger, better, faster, more is never going to lead you to ‘happiness’ until you learn to be at peace with yourself. To not equate your worth as a human to your worth to a corporation.
The Tao states: Care about people’s approval
and you will be their prisoner.
Do your work, then step back.
The only path to serenity.
There is no reason not to strive to be your best. We grow with our
He who clings to his work
will create nothing that endures.
There is a time for being ahead,
a time for being behind;
a time for being in motion,
a time for being at rest;
a time for being vigorous,
a time for being exhausted;
a time for being safe,
a time for being in danger.
Because he believes in himself,
he doesn’t try to convince others.
Because he is content with himself,
he doesn’t need others’ approval.
Because he accepts himself,
the whole world accepts him.
The great Tao flows everywhere.
All things are born from it,
yet it doesn’t create them.
It pours itself into its work,
yet it makes no claim.
It nourishes infinite worlds,
yet it doesn’t hold on to them.
Since it is merged with all things
and hidden in their hearts,
it can be called humble.
Since all things vanish into it
and it alone endures,
it can be called great.
It isn’t aware of its greatness;
thus it is truly great.
Tao
I appreciate your forwardness in bringing the word ‘confidence’ up as a term in modern psychology and peoples lives and devaluing it by definition. I have not studied the etymology/linguistics of the term but personally feel that we jump to a concept of embodiment without acknowledging the greater picture/holisitic approach. This could lead to a religious or other intellectual self-knowledge awareness but the term of ‘confidence’ is so widely used that I don’t feel we can fully decipher between ego, emotion, authentic self, etc.
There is that thought and truth within you that says go for it, be that strength … it is not power, it is not seeking power … it is the creator and all can prosper by feeling it and overlooking the simple linguistic terms our brain deciphers and place into commandments.
Gratitude and honor to all posts, because without we couldn’t discover together.
Peace and Joy,
Chris
AKA yuforik
Why is it sad? It’s a good place for people to read about feeling better, especially those who don’t have strong support groups and have spent a good chunk of their lives being abused emotionally and/or physically. Now, I’m sure you can think of a few hurdles you couldn’t do on your own and asked for advice. It’s the same thing. I think it’s sad that people are knocked on in the manner that forces them to have low self-confidence. I believe they can find faith in themselves. First, they need realize though that they’ve just had negative re-inforcements. Then they can realize those people are negative towards themselves first. It’s like that old english proverb, If you have one rotten apple in the bag, it spoils the rest.
I’ve already been practicing but comes just in hand for a everyday re-energizing method. Thanks.
I am not the most confident person at times even though I know that I am “worth it”. I don’t know why (well, i guess there are a million reasons, but I can’t seem to pick the right solution to it all) but sometimes, I just feel so insecure. I recently got a job at a really good company. It’s a very good job that I am proud to have gotten (I feel very lucky) and the people here are really terrific. I’ve never worked somewhere where the management didn’t have some sort of power trip. I’m treated as an equal – valuable to the company. I’ve been going to school for the past two years and now I have an internship with a terrific company in a perfect situation, but my insecurities are starting to come out. You know: I’m afraid to just be myself. To speak out of who I am without feeling scared. And the weird thing that I’ve noticed no matter who I am with is that when I start showing my insecurity, they start becoming insecure too. It’s like a disease and it prohibits people from enjoying life and the fun things in it. I don’t want to let this get the better of me now. I’m doing what I want to do and I feel so fortunate to be where I am. I’m going to do my homework so that eventually it will just be fun to be who I am, no matter who I’m around. Thank you everyone for what you’ve said – except of course the idiots who just enjoy mocking people.
Great comment Illusionist. Face it folks. You’re average. Don’t worry about it so much. It’s hilarious to see the latest kids coming into the workforce. They’re so confident and full of self-worth. They all think everything revolves around them because for some reason in the good ol’ US of A, the whole “you’re special and above average” BS has been pushed so hard in recent years. Get over it kids. You’re not that great.
Phillydawg obviously has some self-confidence problems. Instead of putting down others, why not examine yourself?
Not all young professionals think the world revolves around them, so I suggest you know what you are talking about before you make inconsiderate generalizations.
I am with you all the way! nreidy There are two ways of looking @ everything. in a good way or in a bad way. You are what you hate and what you want to be or cant be.
If you were so confident about your self you would not be reading this material in first place. I bet you do not make over 50K a year and complain about everything in life.
Young People tend to think that the world revolves around them to help boost themselves. imagine how they would feel if you were always bullied at school or at home and at work.
instead, young people do subconcious things to help themselves and i feel like people should live by the motto: “Think Before you speak”, but no one does that anymore really
10 Ways to Instantly Give Bad Advice. Most of these points just have to do with how other people view you. If you need people thinking you’re important to feel confident you’re deceiving yourself.
I’d say confidence is being happy with whatever you do and whatever happens. Self-image based on how you stand against other people is flawed.
As long as you’re alive you can think anything you want.
You must not look good at all. Maybe you should apply those 10 tips!
absolutly right
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This is a silly article, it’s a bunch of techniques that are forced into a ‘boost your self confidence’ context which makes sense … but really doesn’t work that great.
For instance, you could easily say that many confident people do not need to dress sharply because they rate themselves high anyway … that they are so confident they do not need the fab clothes to get things done. They can walk slowly because they are relaxed .. they are relaxed because they are confident that they’ll do things well. Walking fast could be a stress thing. Many performers who ooze confidence don’t rush.
So yeah, I’d agree with a bit of the advice on this in a loose way. But other than that, it’s a bunch of baloney! Confidence comes from within, and that manifests itself in various ways … some confident people walk slow, some fast … some dress sharp, some don’t. some work out, some are full of lard.
So yes. I wouldn’t take this article seriously. Nice try tho.
Tim.
Thoughts on other comments:
-In more naive self-help writing it’s not uncommon to see confidence talked about as a kind of cure-all (not saying this article is naive, making a general comment). The attitude is, “Don’t worry about specific problem X, just be more confident and everything will fall into place”. Not only is “Just be confident” easier said than done, confidence isn’t a magic bullet. You may still need to learn and hone specific skills or change the way you think. Not all the solutions spring out of high confidence.
-My last comment wasn’t an opinion on the original article either way, just throwing my thoughts into the mix. Some of the ideas are definitely good (e.g., dressing better, good posture – genuine improvements to yourself that will boost long and short term confidence). Some may work differently for some people than others (I personally feel more confident if I walk slowly. For me fast = stressed, nervous, and out of control).
I’m not so keen on this list of ways, they seem as materialistic and republished.
Self confidence has several components. First I feel confident because of how I manage myself. Centering my perception, feelings and reactions – i.e. seeing all possible sides to a problem, avoiding blaming my self and others, and being proactive rather than reactive or nonactive – helps to avoid embarrassment, disgrace, fluster, etc… – the kinds of self judgement that lead to self doubt, self criticism low confidence and low self esteem. By this self confidence is an expression of the least amount of negative thought about oneself.
Secondly, I might feel confident because of how others interact with me. If I am considered before a decision is made, to be on a team, or asked an opinion, or involved in a way as to be nontrivial, then I am more self confident after the interaction than before. I also like when people show interest in the things I have, but not as much unless it leads to a welcomed nontrivial interaction. Self confidence has a directly proportional relationship with external or social interactions.
This and many other “10 ways” lists are for the physical world where print or publishing costs were too high or when a blogger’s time, patience are too limited to list all the ways to build self confidence. Ideally all the parts of self confidence should be dealt equally and fully without the restriction to 10 which is entirely unnecessary being this post is in a virtual infinite space.
I found the comments about this post as interesting as the post itself. The strategies in this post can help boost a person’s confidence, but confidence or the belief in oneself comes from within. Everyone has a day when his confidence is low. If using these strategies helps great. I use some of the strategies listed when I am presenting in front of my peers. This gives me the boost I need at that moment.
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The only part that can be presented on paper, is 7. Sit in the front row.
That I agree with.
I have to do with business, manipulation and people evey day. If I would give you an advice, would be to look at Donal Trump.
Just make a search on the internet about him, or on YouTube . See his posture, the way he walks, the way he sits, the way he talks.
At a first glance, his posture for example, seems weak. But it isn’t. Very smart thing. He just makes you think he is a little weak, and he manipulates you from the shadow.
Anyway, good article. It would be 200% even better if you made a video article. So people can see examples of posture, voice, eye contact.
good luck!
I like your comment, can you explain more about how he manipulates you from a shadow! thanks bud.
You forgot the obvious: have sex with someone that loves you
do know about your area of operation i.e. confidence comes from the knowledge and knowledge comes from knowing things around you — be expert in your subject.
You could just try an oxytocin spray…
http://weirdscience.ca/2007/07/19/shyness-be-gone/
db
good one — we need more on this!!
Contribution is a great thing. We need to make each other stronger. Nice Article. Thank you for posting John Wesley.
[...] doesn’t need a self help book about confidence, this list (mirrored from http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-ways-to-instantly-build-self-confidence/ written by John Wesley) is right on the [...]
It seems that a few people, who commented, have missed the point of the article.
It is meant to build confidence, some one who is already confident does not need to build it in the same manner that some one who is not.
The point of the article is to help some one with out confidence to do things that will make them feel more confident. Confidence is learned, this is a start.
Setting and accomplishing goals incrementally is definitely goals is also essential to building confidence.
10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence…
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[...] I believe there is only one person in the world who EVER questions my self-confidence *cough*Crystal*cough*. That being said, I’m always dedicating time to figuring out ways to better myself whether it is through reading, observing others, etc. I thought this was a fairly neat little list for building self confidence…actually there is one item on the list that reminded me to do something I don’t do often…and that is actually to take the time to realize what I have achieved (#5 Gratitude). Anyhow, here’s the link. [...]
Confidence is sexy
Don’t you think?
My website is BUILT on confidence as a young american entrepreneur woman. I have to have confidence and I make sure everyone knows it.
Rep the brand,
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I agree with all of the points noted except number two: turns out that ‘important’ people (yeah, sure, that’s relative) like CEO’s of large companies etc all walk slowly. The psychology behind it is that they aren’t in a hurry; the world will wait for them and they have planned ahead well enough that they don’t need to hurry to get where they need to be on time.
Good article, but it’s “Dress SharpLY”
[...] 10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence (tags: self-improvement) [...]
[...] [source] [...]
Definatley a great start for some one who lacks much self confidence . For number two; at some point in their life they had to walk “fast” to be able to walk slow.
According to some of the posts, this must the fast-food version of developing self-confidence!
[...] by John Wesley · 35 Comments [...]
You forgot posture. It will make a huge difference, you literally will see more and people will look up to you. If people believe you are confident it will help reinforce that positive feedback loop, making it easier for you.
Good point Kurt, acting confident may temporarily give one the feeling of confidence. In return the person will have the courage to complete a task that they would have previously shunned.
Upon successful completion, you will now have a person that is actually more confident due to their success.
#1 should have been dump your girlfriend. I’ve never met a girl interested in helping you be more confident. If you’re feeling low, dump that bitch now before she dumps you and move on to something better.
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Self Talk Builds Self Confidence…
John Wesley, at Pick the Brain, is now suggesting we invest some time to create a mix of the two, a Personal Commercial….
Even if like some are saying we should know this or it sounds overused I think reminding ourselves every now and again is a good thing. It is very easy to get into a negative mind, being positive sometimes does take reminding and work. Thanks
After reading some of the rather vicious comments by the “self-realized” elite here, aren’t you wasting your self-important time with the ferocity of your protestations about a simple “ten ways” list? John has simply presented a few ideas to help the guy whose daily grind is selling, cold-calling, meeting and greeting. A lot of those guys need help in believing they can do it, and these tips help a guy believe a little more in himself, in spite of his lack of training, schooling, polish, expertise etc. Thanks for posting them, John. I know you did it out of concern for the common man, and not for the benefit of these ridiculous know-it-alls who live to carp.
David, I could not of said it better my self. I am one of those sales people you just described, I am 34 and made a ton of money in real estate, so my head is as big as they get heehee! I’ve been semi-retired for a year and a half. Now i am opening a used car dealer ship on my own, and I am trying to build that sales confidence again.
[...] 10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence: I loved this list. My favorite? “Focus on contribution.” I don’t know if it’s building my self-confidence, but I do know that with every volunteer action I take and “good deed” I do, I feel great. [...]
The most powerful self-confidence surely comes from within. But, I also believe that the way we walk affect the way we talk and the way we talk affect the way we feel, and how others perceive us, so, John thanks for the list. Especially I can’t agree more with pt. 1 – if you down on a particular day, dress up helps.
And, may I add one to the list?
# Always put a smile on the face – you yourself feel better and others feel warmer.
[...] http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-ways-to-instantly-build-self-confidence/ [...]
Illusionist is against confidence.
“Oversharpen a knife and it will dull quickly”
There is no such thing as an “oversharpened edge”, but you can use the wrong edge for the wrong job. Would you use a fillet knife to cut down a tree? The fillet knife would dull quickly and the tree would take forever to cut down. Would you use an axe to fillet a fish? The axe blade is much too thick and you will not be able to get thin fillet slices.
The point here is that if a tip doesn’t seem to work perhaps the situations for which it does and doesn’t work should have been specified clearly. It would be great to have tips that work in every situation but that is not always possible, just as there is no blade that can handle all cutting chores.
I disagree strongly with the notion that walking fast will boost your confidence (or other people’s positive impression of you). A fast walker is someone who looks harried- totally stressed out. Rushing from one thing to another is not going to improve your state of mind. I think better advice is to focus on posture and expression- try to walk upright, focus on enjoying your trip from point A to B, and work on bringing a smile to your face.
I’d have to agree with the guy above. I’m a fast walker myself and I feel much more relaxed and confident when I force myself to slow down.
People that walk really slowly though, they should hurry up a bit.
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IMHO, confidences brings about the things you have mentioned in the 10 points…
For me, confidence in workplace comes from being knowledgeable in your and possibly other areas… confidence in social life comes from knowing about things that happen around you, general knowledge, and a little extra cash in bank…
and, confidence in personal life comes from having some one who loves you…
peace…
Very good list. I’d like to see point 10 nearer the top though. Concentrate on duties and responsibilities instead of rights.
I find walking fast winds me up a bit. It is possible to walk in a relaxed and confident way: back straight, chest out, swing the arms a little (no need to go all military), fill your space, look others in the eye and say ‘hello/good morning/hi/ whatever’ to them. You acknowledge them as a fellow human, and their response (if they give one of course) acknowledges you. They feel better. You feel better.
Good day, all!
There’s a bit of voodoo in confidence. Something that’s not easy to break down into overt or perhaps even conscious behaviors or thoughts.
I had an interesting experience in the last several days that illustrated the subtle differences in the varieties of confidence one might project, knowingly or not. I live in Greenwich Village, New York, a few steps away from a long established bar that has live music (classic rock standards) every evening. On weeknights, there’s usually just one vocalist/guitarist. Most of the musicians have been playing here regularly for several years, some for decades. All are quite talented. I spoke with one the other evening after his musical set, and he was understated and affable, conversing easily about his career and loyal fan following with both humility and candor. He had the essence of a man who was comfortable in his skin.
I had a nearly identical encounter with another one of the bar’s musicians last evening. He too was affable and conversed about his career with ease, however spoke more pointedly–more confidently, perse–about which gigs he enjoyed and which he did not, and what the future held. On paper or filmed, both conversations and interactions would seem similar, yet the second musician left me with the distinct feeling that his confidence was of a far more superficial nature than the first musician did.
Why? It’s hard to pinpoint, though I’m sure a psychological researcher could identify why. The body language of both musicians was not grossly different. Human beings can often sense when confidence has bedrock within a person, and when it does not–even when there’s subjectively very little difference between them.
This speaks to the argument as to whether confidence is something you can actually possess or portray, or only something that’s conjured and ascribed to you by others after they feel that they have genuinely, sincerely perceived it. The latter is closer to true, I believe.
While there is much credibility in the notion that purposely acting in certain ways and doing certain things will make you think and regard yourself differently, confidence is far more enigmatic than that. Mr. Wesley’s article is as fine as or better than all other pieces I’ve read that attempt to prescribe greater confidence with a list of dos and don’ts, but the challenge is that we intuitively know that confidence can’t be distilled this way, because its quintessence comes from incalculable nuances. That’s what makes such prescriptive service articles ring both solid and simplistic, through no fault of the writer.
Hi Ron,
I admire you comment a lot.
The Objectivity of your analysis is very seducing.
As to the content, i broadly agree with you.
[...] Wesley provided a list of 10 ways to boost your self confidence on the Pick The Brain blog. Please read his full post to get the complete explainations but in [...]
Even for a normally confident individual, there will be times when you feel a little smaller, a little discouraged, or a little intimidated. I do think that the above points will come in handy as a quick-fix, when you still have to go out to face the world no matter how relunctant one is at that point.
There is no doubt that having self-confidence leads to greater well-being and positive emotion. Great post.
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Dance.
Seriously. Lindy Hop. East Coast Swing. Charleston. Blues. Balboa. Shag. With a name like Shag, who wouldn’t want to do it?
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The walking faster part is the total opposite of how it should be. Confident people move slowly and with ease when they walk, and have little to no movement when they sit.The person who moves the least has the most power.
I’d day that walk faster tip can be very counter productive.
Walking faster likely leaves you less breath and ability to concentrate, or to keep good posture for that matter; it may also make you a bit nervous on a crowded sidewalk with a lot of slow strollers.
Confident people are not in a hurry; I personally found out that I feel more confident if I slow down my pace considerably and walk normally and not extremely quickly as I usually do.
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Thanks
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If you’re in a hurry, go slow!!!
) So she called a friend and he came around. She went all the way on her computer to show him what will happen- it did not work. He said do it again, slowly!!! Surprise- well gone.
Once a woman had no chance to get some stuff via inet- download. MS, HP, all the gurus + hotliners- they had no solution (but hugh bills
How came? She used to use a habit: add the spacebar after typing the emailaddress…
If you’re in a hurry, go slow!
Olaf
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[...] 原文链接：10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence [...]
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I stumbled upon this article and I liked it a lot. Gave a reference to this in my article “14 Simple Things To Do For A Better Body” here http://www.kumito.com/articles/14-simple-things-do-better-body
[...] 10 Ways to Instantly Build Self-Confidence by John Wesley [...]
this is excelent
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Did it bother anyone else that it’s all “herself”?
What about the men? Equal rights does not mean women get more.
there were 10 things on the list, could have done 5 of “herself” and 5 of “himself”.
Of course the author could have followed proper English writing rules and just stayed consistent and gender neutral but directing the comments to “yourself” as they did at the last of the article.
[...] 原文作者：John Wesley原文链接：10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence译者：ibidjh [...]
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nice, but practically will it be easy to follow?
omfg this person is actually getting their infor from professionals…..you guys obviuosly lack confidence and didn’t really tried it.. I heard this from many couselors, therapists…so ppl like chris shut it what do you guys have backing what you say.. what are your sources I have tried these things and they do work… My teacher once told me if you lie to you self and say your confident many times over you are…..now I kinda agree with you this isn’t a quick fix there is never a quick fix for building your confidence everyone has to build their confidence if you commentors are looking for a one time permanant fix ghood luck cause I don’t think there is one. I personally find these to always rebuiold my confidence
[...] 10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence (simple confidence boosts – dress smart, sit in the front row etc.) [...]
If I had to give just ONE advice, to those who lack self-confidence and are experiencing some of the troubles we as people go through everyday. It would be to DEVOTE your life to Christ. And everything else will fall into place. Ask and you will recieve, seek and you will find, knock and he will answer. For the most part of my life I have tried to do things my way or mans way. Whether it was trying to build self-worth, being successful, financially stable, staying fit, being like by others, etc. etc. . I found that all those worries put way too much pressure on me as a person and sooner or later I would fail ( I didn’t show it physically through actions more so mentally, where I would bottle things up and it would eventually cause me to crumble).
I personally feel that many, not all, of us put on a front, a different image of who we really are …( basically a costume we wear everyday to survive the struggles in life ) rather than being genuine & real. That right there takes a toll on many people, whether you’d like to admit it or not.
I’ve been there before in my life and still am, but this time I am not doing it alone. I have God in my life, who is stronger than I am to help take away the burden and worries that have plagued my life. Now, with his help, teachings, values, morals, and support I am able to worry less about me, less about money, what I look like, what people think of me, if I should fail, etc. and just live and love my life.
I am starting to appreciate the things I have and the people around me alot more i.e. family and friends. I focus on the positive things and solutions rather than the negative and looking for reasons to make me upset.
I am by no means, trying to portray an image that I am better than others, rather that is the very cause of many self-conscious fears we have today. We directly & indirectly compare ourselves with others, thus creating fears and doubts within ourselves.
I am still going through this trouble everyday, but I am making great progress and far from the person I was just a few years ago. I am sharing this with others so that some may come to understand that you deserve this, YOU deserve to feel good, YOU deserve to be loved, YOU deserve to be happy, YOU deserve the good things that come your way. Even if your a good or a bad person, we all deserve room for change, we all have made mistakes in the past and present.
We ahould try and stop fufilling our emptiness with materialistic things such as, the most expensive cars, clothes, homes, jewelry, money, satisfying our emptiness with drugs and alcohol.
And instead replace those things with something real like kindness, compassion, understanding, patience, happiness, and most of all LOVE.
These are the things God has to offer us and through Christ we may recieve these gifts and draw closer to him.
I know I’ve wrote alot and many might be turned off by all of these words lol, but I honestly believe this is the sole answer to everyone and anyones problem. I have alot more thoughts to share and will be more than happy too, for now I leave everyone with this. Your Life reflects how much you love God…. think about it.
Anyway Jimmy j have appreciated your advice;surely devorting to Jesus, is the only standing way to succeed in life, as he clearly say,’am the way, truth and the life’ actualy to have confidence, u have to be possesing life and Jesus is life. Brotheren let us take JESUS as our immediate kin and others will follow.keep up to JESUS.
whoever you are…i really like what you wrote here and when i read it, it makes me feel better about myself by saying all those nice words on how to feel confident about yourself. i myself sometimes i have problems communicating with people around me because im always afraid that when i talk to people they will make fun of my accent. im always worried and afraid about people what they think about me.
i hope someday i can gain my confidence just like others…i guess it will take time and like you said prayer and just have fait in god and he will guide and help you around your needs…
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In my opinion,appearance is the most important thing to get confident.
If you like your face & dressing,you’ll get sociable & you’ll be brave enough to show yourself to the others & you’re not shy anymore.
(That’s what I’ve experienced myself)
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I recently migrated to a new continent..new culture, new people…suddenly lacking self confidence at work struck me..and i am trying to figure out how i can win this debacle…and i came across this article or blog as you may call it. The comments did add some enlightenment. And I would say I have been walking slowler than before since I got here. It made me think twice if walking really has something to do with confidence. Now I will try to walk fast on Monday to work
) Sure it wont hurt to try 
) To build confidence one needs to read more and fill up ones tiny little mind each day with something new. So you may be able to communicate with others…I think that is the best but the hardest way.
[...] 10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence [...]
good ways
I hope that i got benifits
those 10 stratigies are pretty impressive but a person unconsiously does these things when he is self confident, and the point here is that when ever you do something you just think that how would a confident person will react in this kind of situation and just react that way. after some time you will get used to these habits and will develop a habit of doing this.
other thing about walking pace is that should not walk too fast nor to slow because if you walk too slow it describes that you are confused about something and wondering aimlessly and if you walk too fast,it means you are in some kind of pressure and fear (fear from boss, instructor for being late). it is also a sign that you have somekind of unstability in yourself does’nt look mature.
[...] read more | digg story [...]
There are some great tips and strategies here.
You are right to say that clothes do not make the man and yet dressing sharp can affect the way we feel about ourself.
I very much like the concept of gratitude and saying thank you to people or events that have helped you each day.
Exercising and working out, too, are important. There is an old saying ‘healthy body, healthy mind’ which I feel is apt in resect of confidence too.
In my work I see many people who feel that a lack of confidence holds them back in life. These strategies I’m sure would help many of them.
Thanks
Doug
http://www.dougwoods.com
[...] words, be grateful with your life. I happen to google around for self improvement and stumble upon website. A betterman has a necessary self confidence and one of the way to achieve it is [...]
i say its better to walk more slowly, and be more accepting of your journey! this takes confidence i think, more so than rushing around
[...] 10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence [...]
[...] Link Resource: Pick The Brain [...]
There are some great tips here but I really do think that the most important factor is number 6 – Compliment other people. It really does help with your presentation and thinking if you are positive about your work colleagues.
thank u .i have a huje lack of self confidence. but when i tryed to think about it i found myself that in most cases i have been modest and people judjed me that im weak, and i don’t believ in my self. peopel around me tell me and all the time try to convince me that im good and i have to be proud of who i am because it is me and i couldn’t have been someone else.but i find it hard to believ them because i don’t truste people that much . they all say that i want to be perfect and do something outstanding,whereas my objective is to do someting correct for once. im 19 about to get my 20s and i still don’t know who i am what am i going to do .i still think of my life as an accident ,unwelcomed accident.my familly loves me my parents and brothers and sisters care about me .sometimes i feel im the center of their lives. that’s why i try to do my best to make them proud of me .however no matter what i do i never achieve the degree to make them satisfied that’s what i think.i miss motivation in ly life .if i am motivated i believ i can reach the moon.my lack of responsibiilty is the most tornment to my soul. all the time i seem sad and furious and i laugh ,however,i immidiately regret it. always i care about peopel and say to my self’ what would be their point of view about me?” what me for them?” why don’t they treat me well ? eventhough they ‘ve done nothing wrong. i study english at university and i feel so inferior to my classmates .at class when a teacher launchs a certain idea .i get some stupid answers in my mind while the answer when it is said tottaly faaaaaaar from what i thaught about.STUPID.and i am a bit fat well not very fat but full shaped .which is sth that disturbs me. i believ in god but i don’t feel like satisfying god.when people think of loving god and his prophet. i just find hard to feel that love which is sth i wish i can achieve one day.i am so carismatic. and i believ in hard working and responsiblity. plz comment.thank u
mona
reading your post it looks like you are caught up in self doubting thought processes.
don’t worry about age most peeople never know exactly what they want to do. why should you? we live in an age of uncertainty which is why it is a very hard time to be a student. i am too a student.
i must say, a breakdown, even though horible, was what i needed to smack me in the face and provoke me to think for myself.
i say this because it has provoked me to learn to find time for myself. see what i like, what I want and what i want from life.
your life is your own, you should stop worrying what your mates, your family or ANYone else appears to ‘want’ from you and find time to learn to love yourself.
trust me im no hippie, this i have learned through experience.
‘a wise man learns from experience, an even wiser man learns from others’ experiences’ -plato
oh and do you excercise or do many hobbies? it is important to do things that interest you.
dw, “self doubting thaught proccesses” wonderfull sentence.u mentioned sth about time? well i make u sure that time which is preserved to my privacy and life and inner thaughts is more than any other thing.i believ in contemplation and wondering in the world and people .but i never thaught this will lead me to be a prisoner of a wrong immagination.anyways.about hobbies, i used to draw profiles and human’s faces meanwhile i try to see my self through that painting .i succeeded, but i faced horrible reactions that say “it’s against our religion” .well no comment?. later on i stopped and i used to write well not correct poetry but well verses that expresse me. i enjoyed them but unfortunately this abilty to writing wasopressed because of an accident that i feel sad and humiliated to talk about.so i better keep it for my self.now i gave up all my hobbies ad i live to live. and my main concern is to reach my last day and leave this world peacfully. as long as i do noth in return ….anyways Mr dw thanks for ur answer.it was helpfull .but still words shape that clutter image in my mind and thaghts seem foggy and takes time to be cleared up .and as usual putting sth into practice is harder than emptying the sea.thank u so much.
[...] Wesley 原文链接：10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence [...]
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I certainly agree with your pointers. Thank you for your tips.
Truly Yours
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Hey, just wanna say thanks
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As a recent graduate of philosophy who came accross this article in a “next-step” search, i must include a few observations. I have spent years listening to the people around me, studying identity and trying to comphrehend the springs from which a person’s concept of being flows, and i have discovered that so many share a link. When i consider the people i know who are thought confident, myself often one, many of them do have the traits described. And none of them think about it.
A past lover once told me he thought i seemed confident. Really? i asked. Why? He shrugged, and this has been the basic response. Confidence is not fixed, it is a processural stream which people may step in and out of which is in a constant state of flux. And they do this unknowingly.
What is amazing about confident people to the unconfident person is that they seem to be without a care in the world, or at least, their cares seem not to bog them down. And that is their choice. The human mind can overcome anything. Once you realize that only you control how you experience the world, confidence will no longer be an issue. You can take things in stride, take them with a grain of salt, or not take them at all. Life’s possibilities are endless. Go.
agreed, seeing confidence as fixed is not a real idea.
this is something ive been getting at but haven’t quite realised before now… ta danielle!
do you think the realisation of that you control your world means ‘understanding’ it.. after all people are apparently afraid of what they do not understand?
It’s interesting that you connect the idea to fear, however, that people often fear what they don’t understand is a very general sentiment. I think of how often heterosexual people who are homophobic, for example, are claimed to be afraid of homosexual persons, that is afterall implied in the term. And this is linked to the idea that they fear what they don’t understand. However, i do not think it’s fear, and i don’t think it’s that they don’t understand. The problem in this example is that they do think they understand, and they have done so within a limited construct. When i claimed that people often don’t realize that they control their world, ie, their perception or experience of the world, i didn’t mean that they lack an understanding of it. What I meant was that they often are not aware of the possibilities of their experience, that they control what they perceive, and as such they can overcome said barriers and choose how they feel about whatever occurs in their life irregardless of the given circumstances. Any barriers people percieve in life, that maybe they need ‘confidence’ to overcome, are usually only perceived by them. And to many people this realization may seem “easier said than done,” due to a number of factors, maybe even fear, like you suggest. But if fear has any place, it is in that part of ourselves that knows, deepdown, that there are no barriers in life other than our minds, that we can go forth as we please, and that we are responsibile for the choices we make.
cool, understood… almost
so for someone who thinks they lack confidence, it is more so the failure to see opportunity in front of them
do you mean this article is wrong, cos it thinks it understands ‘confidence’
I think the article is surface level. It is addressing the symptom rather than the cause. It gives options as to improve one’s confidence, so to speak, but it ignore’s my initial point. I spoke about people who appear confident, and noted that they basically aren’t occupied with whatever may mentally ail them. My second passage elaboarted on the concept, locating their not being preoccupied with such things in their choice to not be preoccupied. These are the things that help/hinder confidence. This article isn’t wrong, per se, but it’s kind of like of get-rich-quick scheme for the mind. All along however, a person is working towards achieving what i have been positing all along: don’t worry, brush it off, go forth. If this is done, then confidence seeking becomes moot, because you’re mentally in the clear.
i really wanted to understand but it seemed a little bit shallow. what u said about understanding the fact of being “confident”. amazed me. but the question of fear in’t really clear. talking about myself, i ‘ve a terrible lack of confidence but i read the comments written above and i learn step by step. Actually, i would like you to talk a bit about the milieu and its effet on the person. how friends n responsibility n familly ,to some extenct, can affect the person… , ur anlysis is really impressing but personnaly i believ that what is scientific and professional can’t easly get into everybody’s mind. people ain’t all the same. unless the speech is adressing a specific category of people. thank you so much
.
i notice everything ive come across has all pointed to that . ways to let go –
suppose the question is what is the best ways to do that
and i take it when the reasons are more disturbing thats when proffessional help fits in.
Thank you, Mona. You say you have a lack of confidence which indicates to me that you are not sure of yourself for one reason or another. It sounds like you have a tough situation going on, that you’re really struggling in some respect. Although i was not writing to a specific audience, as i think my ideas apply to all, I was not writing about people who have barriers outside of their control. Some people have physical or mental disabilities, which are hard to overcome but not impossible, I promise. Some people, especially young ones, feel trapped or that their lives are not in their control when they have issues with their families or peer groups. But even these situations can be changed. There is a tendency when we are young and have yet to experience the world to look inward for the solutions to our problems. However, that is the source of the problem. Do not think I am placing blame or directing shame. I am simply saying that people often get so wound up in whatever is holding them down that they don’t realize that it usually is only within them that the barrier exists. In your situation Mona it seems like you have spent alot of time trying to find the answer yourself, which is quite admirable considering so many people never even try, but that is not the only way. You should reach out to a counselor. If you’re in school, talk to a teacher or counselor there. Your friends and family can’t give you the help a trained professional can. Also, you should have someone help you locate a social service agency that could help you find more resources. If there’s one thing i’ve learned, it’s to never be afraid to ask for help from those who can give it. And take pride in knowing that the fact that you’re trying to better yourself is proof that you have the strength within to do it. Be well.
hey dannielle, love philosophy but wasnt brave enuff for the degree!
what do you think the best way to think is?
e.g. i was thinking earlier its probably best to:
1. elliminate inner dialogue
2. focus on what you want
hey dannielle, love philosophy but wasnt brave enuff for the degree!
what do you think the best way to think is?
e.g. i was thinking earlier its probably best to:
1. elliminate inner dialogue
2. focus on what you want (as opposed to what you dont want)
Amazing. i appreciated .but let me focus on few palces where u mentioned respect.i believ i couldn’t make my
self clearer,but still have a chance to do so. my lack ofconfidense is what i was told to have not what i discovered myself. in class at home ..let me tell u something. i always say things that somebody else woudln’t dare to reveal.for instance.i always have that fear of failure,looking diffrent,expressing my real feelings but never afraid of saying the truth.many around me translated this to my eager for perfection. which is absolutly the opposit. i express my worries openly before all my friends,actually, no specific person .however i discovered this is not a successful outlet to feel good . cus backbiting hurted me so much. but now things has changed to the best. it is said that “ne pas cherchez a contenter les uns et les autres car les gens sont pas les memes’. i really believe in this saying. not everybody are safe not to fall in self doubting confidence. no body is perfect.i believe in a “change” but time palys an important role which i do respect.in fact, i lost many people because of my being stern. mayeb this artical is not realy well organized, but i decided not to erase a single word ,believing that it’s a step toward building selfconfidence. and excuse my english because it’s not quiet good. plz respond. All in all “repsected Danielle” . the time ur giving to this site trust me is very worth to be spent for. im so glad i recieve such analysis from a professional. because i acually have no well trained prcon in this field to criticise or analyse who be am..just carry on this actvity it’s a helpfull way u r affording to “poorish” people like me. Thank you.
mona please have a look at:
http://www.uncommonforum.com
anxiety2calm.com
Asking a philosopher ‘what is the best way to think,’ is probably one of the most complicated questions one could ask! To respond to your suggestion, i don’t know how one could eliminate inner dialogue, as thinking is basically a conversation with yourself, unless you mean second-guessing yourself. And second-guessing yourself needs to be distinguished from one’s conscience, which is that manifestation of inner dialogue.
That’s a tough call. In the Anglo-American tradition, the best way to think would be to consider all repercussions of an action before you act. However the continental philosopher would argue that in such a case they are not acting naturally, whatever that may be, and are in fact restraining themselves in some fashion. The continental philosopher would argue the best way to think would be with spontaneaity, to say and do whatever comes to mind. And this, the Anglo-American would say, is foolish. That’s what the greats think. Now I’ll leave it to you to decide.
i suppose i am refering to second guessing; as without second guessing you would act without questioning yourself at every turn. its all good and well having a conscience as it can help, but i believe second guessing can not help as it may help provoke what we call mental illness.
my point of focusing on what you want as opposed to what you dont want must mean elliminate second guessing also.
by the way i definetly agree with the anglo-american, why act spontaniously when your mind may be full of hate.
cheers
d
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[...] Do You Need To Build Your Self Confidence? Entrepreneurs need the self confidence to pick themselves up when they fall down. Check out these [...]
[...] Do You Need To Build Your Self Confidence? Entrepreneurs need the self confidence to pick themselves up when they fall down. Check out these [...]
The points covered here r very good to build your selfconfidence. My confidence loosed over the years while knowing the people and their attitute especially in very personl relation as well as work envionment and ur boos. The way your boss treats you. So I would say guys just call yourself that “I am the best” and should not allow anyone to decrease your morale and and confidence. Believe in one thing, “If u belive urself people ( world) will believe in you.”
[...] or shy. Even if you are a shy person, try holding her gaze for one to two seconds during conversations. Make sure she knows that you are paying attention to what she is saying and not to the food on [...]
good point SONICA. thx
I agree, except I’d add that you have to make sure you don’t cross the line into arrogance like this blog points out: http://sophiasparx.blogspot.com
I cant believe i am reading these negative comments from you guys! some comments do make sense like the walking fast. Here is a quick profile on most of you guys who think one or more of the 10 tips are stupid. Your all or most of the following!!!! “Single” some college, over weight, “NEGATIVE” not sure of what you want in life, never really achieved anything, making no more than 25K, hates their job, or jobless, does not really get along with anyone. And need to hide behind a computer to make silly comments,very insecure of themselves, I make over 100K and still looking to refine my sales skills. Your supposed to learn from good and bad. I love this diggs.com see you all laters
Please do not offense by my comments! But here are my 2cents.
To Phillydawg: Your average cus you say you are! Dont think of yourself like that!
To Tim Smith: Your right in someways! But Its obvious your lifestyle does not require you to dress up. I highly recommend everyone to look nice! You do not need to buy clothing from Chanel, Eddie Bauer, or Versaci. Walt Disney said, “image is everything”. Joseph Kennedy, father of J.F.K. and R.F.K. Said “its not what you are but what people think you are”.
Confidence can be applied differently, for instance! Homeless have to be the most confident people alive! why? Because not everyone can approach people to give them money. Now that takes confidence. But look at their appearance its repulsive. You should dress nice and look nice because you care about your self. Not because you want people to think your confident. I have to admit when I dress sharp. I turn more heads than usuall and I feel like a million bucks! I do belive in some small way that how you look is how you feel about everything. I tend not to socialize with people whom turn positives into negatives. I think these are the best ten tips I have read so far this year. I will apply them to my new business venture. I used to be negative about EVERYTHING in life. When i turned it around I tripled my income, kept more friends, and became overall a better person.
I really don’t agree with what you say. All that you talk about are things that are temporary. Sure everyone should wear neat clothing etc but it doesen’t enhance the way we perceive ourselves. Confidence is the feeling that you have the ability to do something. By wearing nice clothes you’ve eliminated the fear or atleast lestened the fear of looking bad style wise, but whose to say that you aren’t worrying about your weight, your voice, your posture, your acne, your stutter, your one leg, whatever. There are a million things that could be influencing that persons confidence, some of which are unchangable but could still be accepted by the individual. Confidence is the ability to accept who you are regardless of what inabilities you may have. The only thing which i can truely agree with is the speak up part because it conditions you to have an equal part in conversations.
I look forward to any replies because i am extrememly interested in this area of peoples lives
You are right that some of these things that are temporary, but they also do affect our self perception.
If you dress sloppily, what does that say about the opinion you have of yourself? Do you consider yourself important?
None of these things will cure all your woes, but I do think they can help. Something as small as taking better care of your appearance will make others see you in a different light and change the way you see yourself.
Yeah i agree. I guess my post wasn’t all that clear on it but i believe that clothing, colognes etcetera do impact upon your self confidence but there is also something i believe much deeper than that. Its like the person who has millions but can’t get in front of a crowd of a thousand people and give a speech. More than likely he has the finest colognes, clothing and equipment but in an instant its worthless. I don’t know if it seems like i’m talking in riddles but in different situations the boost that his look gives him is so minute that its worthless. I have a mate who is blonde and has a six pack but has absolutely no confidence around women. So what i want to know is what is ‘it’ because to me it can’t be found in appearance.
Looking forward to your reply.
Well, I guess that’s the million dollar question. Maybe there are no words to define ‘it’.
Broman, I hate to say this but I truly believe you pretty much described yourself in oneway or another. Everything in life is temporary we would of never evolved into what we are now if we did not seek change in our lives .We are wired to constantly be on the move. I truly believe people really do not understand human evolution. Part of living and surviving is adaptation. Example: Ellis Iland was the T.J. of today 100+yrs ago, humans will constantly look for change so temporary should be a part of everyones lives. I truly believe everyone on this website has issues, because if you were not looking to better yourself you would not be on this website. Confidence is a double edge sword confidence is something that just does not happen, it takes time and you will hit the floor many times before you understand it. Confidence is something good and bad. People like and dislike confident people. I learned that 99.9% of people are really good a giving advise and have wisdom but, less than 1% of us actually practice what we preach. infact I really do not know anyone whom does or practices every piece of advise they give but its really good. I am truly happy that I found this website. I just got divorced i had to give up 3/4’s of my assets and liquid capitol, I have to start from the bottom again I didnt think I would be able to get to level i was, making 7figures, but I will sure try and all of you will help me get there. I was a real estate developer in Riverside California, but when you create money you also create a whole lot of other issues taxes, disgruntle people, lending money, the money goes and comes but the problems seem to always remain. I may have to look for a job soon if i dont liquidate some of my left over assets. So in a nut shell I need the courage and confidence to be a sales person passout flyers, and talk to people like I did 5 yrs ago. I know what to do but I need the courage and confidence to do it. Wish all of you luck and success.
Hi Oscar,
I truly appreciate your honesty in describing your situation and hopefully we can help you, just as you help us
I believe that yes i did in some ways describe myself. I am a confident person in many situations, i’ve spoken in front of crowd of two hundred for 8 minutes, played jack johnson to a crowd of seven hundred but some things just throw me like being in social situations and approaching groups of people i’ve never met before. I guess everything we are confident with we have become familiar with so you are right when you said ‘it takes time and you will hit the floor many times before you understand it’
Looking forward to your reply
I truly like your 2nd post to John, Anyways Confidence in my opinion is not what people think you but how you dont care about what people think of you. I need to put it together better but you catch my drift. broman, I truly believe and I could be wrong but most of the people online have a fear of been in public or are more to themselfs. I havent pin pointed it but!!!! Every single person online is very confident about typing their problems away on a keyboard, all we need to do is somehow figure out a way to carry this confidence throughout the day. I still havent got the courage to go out and pass out flyers for the car dealer ship, its a small lot but its a start. I did speak with three people at a gas station this morning because I was filling up a car and it had the for sale stickers. Tomorrow i will stand outside of wal-mart and pass out my flyers, I keep printing them but not passing them out.
I welcome your advise and thank you for replying back…
your bud oscar
Glad you liked the post. I guess my only advice that i could give to help you out is don’t perceive your customer as this amazing thing that is greater than you. Just before you are about to go out and hand out the flyers stop and think about how everybody has insecurities and hopefully it will boost you confidence with approaching people. I know it works for me
Also you might want to think about looking at body language because maybe you are giving off a ‘vibe’ that you don’t want to be approached.
Not sure if this helped or not.
All i am saying is how can you be confident looking like crap! Usually people bring down other people. you are who you hangout I never seen donald trump hanging out with people we tend to discriminate. It kinda sucks that some people here can turn the 10 tips into a negative. Everything in life, nature is temperary you have to stimulate what ever it is you adapt. Even when you work out you can lift the same weight all year long but when you change the angle you will stilmulate growth. You can be confident for maybe 8hrs with new clothes, but that is why you need to understand that anything in life you adopt will need maintenance.
confidence?? many tips r being given to tell n help people how to ameliorate their selfesteem right?.great. but weird when most of the given advice works all on the side of how that person is accepted by his surrounding;while it ignores tottaly how that person is ready to reach an understanding to his situation.is it through people that we make it to build our own self confidence. but why it is said “celui qui connait l’art de vivre avec soi_meme ignore l’ennui”….also there is a point i admired but never could to express however Mr OSCar has just benn to the point saying” I learned that 99.9% of people are really good a giving advise and have wisdom but, less than 1% of us actually practice what we preach. ” pretty good expression.
Mona, I am not sure what angle your coming from but it sounds like your not happy with somethings in your life. I learned from a business partner 10yrs ago something I will never forget. He said, No degree no schooling, no college etc, will teach you what another persons life experiance can. Dont make all the mistakes your self learn from others. This guy is a millionaire, I dont even think he is legal in this country, but he owns like 50 99cent stores. Desdemona, you are obviously online for a reason you need to accept the fact that you are like ALL of us online seeking help to be motivated and have get that bounce in our step again. I learned that the first step to tackling a problem is to recognize it and of course to accept it. mona let let your anger out that is part of recognizing you have an issue, I dont believe in the word problem. You guys, 100 yrs ago we did not have to remember 20 passwords, indentity theft, car loans, payments, and if you live in California, social status is a must “keep up with the jones’es” I am still wondering why? but i fell for it.
So our brains really cannot handle all of that over load. So we lashout at what ever we do not understand Especially old scool people like most of us. I will repeat my self, we all have somekind of issue otherwise we would not be having this discussion. Mona are you french or is that just a prop! I am the first to admit that before, alcohol gave me the confidence I needed to take on everyday tasks. But then, it started creating more problems than I could handle. So now I am seeking a natural supplement. You guys know what is sad but true… Most of us if not all of us feel somewhat better to see that other people have the same if not worse problems than us. “SO LET IT OUT” heehee
Hi again oscar,
When you said that you use to use alcohol as a way of taking on everyday task it triggered something which i have always thought about for a long time. I’m from australia and we are fairly big drinkers as a society, but every party i use to go to i would get smashed as a way of being able to be confident around people. I never really thought about it that much when i did it but now i have come to realise what i was doing. I was simply covering up how inadequate i felt with alcohol. Now when i go to parties i’ll either have nothing or try to limit myself. Thought you would find it interesting.
Well you dont have to tell me about alcohol, I am Mexican 2nd generation in the states, My parents arrived in the states in 1951. My girfriend is white and her family drinks, so I learned that alcohol does not discriminate. Our brain functions are chemically triggered, I am researching exactly what chemical reaction triggers us to be so social when we drink. I know Alcohol suppreses our shyness part of the brain. Or if anyone here knows please share it with us. Sad part is that all it takes is one bad incident to throw away a year of confidence building. OMG I dont even go to parties anymore, usually all my old drinking buddies try to hug me and they stink wreak! all they talk about is non-sense. I am over that hurdle.
SIR oscar .one thing, THANK YOU SO MUCH .n thanks for joining this cite wot u r saying in general makes sense n ur thoughts are a spice that makes our discission more delecious . cus u r kind of analysing each one’s situation in a simple way everyone can get it. gracias.
broman, you and i share the same problems, Its taco tuesday here in cali, so i am out to have dinner. I enjoy talking to you. So like the terminator./; I’ll be back! You have the same thoughts i have, we must of had the same life experiences training or share the same background somehow.
thanks bud. I truly believe that sharing ideas thoughs and experiences is all a person needs to get through their issues. I always seek ideas from day to day people who actually work, and sweat as i do. No offense to Psychiatrists but I think they can tell us why and the hows the brain works but I would never ask them for advise. They live in a world thinking that everyone that goes to them is phsyco. Atleast that is what I think. I am off to my tacos. 3 for a dollar at del taco. cant beat that if I wanted to.
Glad i’ve helped
I don’t think i would go and see a psychologist but i love reading books on psycology. I’m reading one now called called change your thinking by Sarah Edelman and i’m finding it really helpful. Not sure if you can get it in the states because its by an australian psycologist.
I know its going to take a while to read the following but this is from the book and i thought it was pretty cool.
‘All events are causally determined – this is a basic scientific principle that applies to human behaviours as well as the laws of nature. Everything that happens in the universe occurs because the circumstances that prevail at the time cause it to happen. Whether a volcano erupts or a leaf falls from a tree or your computer crashes, it is because all the factors that were necessary for those events to occur were present at the time. This same principle also applies to human behaviour. Everything we say and do, including those things that turn out to have negative consequences, happen because all the factors that were necessary for them to occur were present at the time. We could not have behaved differently given all the factors that prevailed, including our limited knowledge and awareness at that point in time, and if all those circumstances recurred we would do exactly the same thing. In retrospect, we can see the consequences of our actions and realise that it would have been better to have done some things differently. After the event, we can learn from our experience (new knowledge and awareness) and try not to repeat our mistakes. However as we did not have that knowledge and awareness at the time blaming our past actions is both irrational and self defeating.’
hi guys maybe im the new born here trying to digen himself with these words but let me share my view too.
well,self estmate is one of the most hurting issue in everybody’s life if somebody doesn’t trust or lost his word of trust i think (s)he would close all the doors of life and see the world in a very limited view whereas (the world is bigger than we can imagine) how???ok if we went through our imagination,we would never stop cos our dream has not an end so this can take us away from what we call loose of hope or luck of trusting the other.all what we see and live has no sense!! yeah no sense as long as we’re limited minded.i think if we do not tend to understand facts,people,ideologies…we’ll never make any good that we all dream to realise it.one thing more, it is the weak of humain being. yeah this play another big role in distructing our hope n trust as well.it has to do with the first one cos when we can do anything we excuse and try to escape cos again we dont have the ability to face and confront and which makes our situation more puzzling than what it was in the beginning.well as they said dont take life too much serioously,we won’t get out of it alife means things has simple order is GOD to him we’re going back so there is no need to desire things you can’t have and then say i can’t trust if you want to trust get to start by yourself dont depend on others to do it for you everything done in your own world must be controlled by you cos your the god in your world under the supremecy of the LORD of everythings .
well that was me miko every single damn idea is from me n evil whereas all the great n good point is from him the Almighty thanks gentleme for listening n reading.
couldnt quite understand what your sayin miko but interesting.
if we are talking about being a good business man i am sure the tips on this page will help you look good for a speech and such like. you dont necessarily have to carry these tips in all your life ‘cos i dont think it is healthy to do so.
everyone is different but everyone can learn to realise that you are responsible for your own actions. the more this happens you can let go of so called insecurities.
finding cruches is not the way for a healthy mindset IMO
thx mona, john, broman… I was visiting my parents yesterday,
welcome mico but WTF are you talking about Miko, I am new to this and i love it, we all are different in everyway on this post but we share the same issues, we all lack confidence, and courage which I think is pretty much the same thing. broman i went out to radio shack last night and I took one of the cars from the lot, I think i sold my first car! I want to thank everyone who posted and replied to my crys for help!!!!. I could not of done it without you!!! I swear my confidence went from negative one million to positive ten trillion to the 10th power. MIKO; It seems that you obviously read a lot, but it seems like your living in an authors shoes, or a fantasy world… you need to understand what works for someone else oes not mean it will work for you!!! I have a twin brother the only thing we have incommon is we both like attractive lesbians. heehee “miko” live simple, we are our own worst enemies. I am with “d” i did not understand your post! keep it simple i live by that. Their is answer to every problem and usually the simples is the best one. My girl thinks i have an online relationship because all day i check my email, i told her I have several of them heehee…. laters
Please no one take offense with this post.”BUT”
I read most of these posts and it seems like most of them are posted for the wrong reason. Let me explain! I could be wrong but it seems like, most people post comments from literature they read and not actuall experiences. Most of us like to escape reality by reading and imagination which is a result of lack brain stimulation. The mind tends to make up stuff on its own when there is nothing to stimultate it. miko; its sounds like you need to go out more…! It sounds kinda like let me impress you with crap I really dont understand and maybe it will make me seem more intelligent. We are all intelligent, and the reality is that we tend to mask things we do not understand with crap no one understands. Like, maybe if I confuse the hell out of everyone they may think OH! this person really knows what he’s saying or doing when in reality that is not the case. Also it seems like all the advise or comments posted are from some kind of best seller book or something! You guys again 99.9% of us are pretty good at giving advise but we tend not to use it ourselves. I like to have reality checks now and then. Again I dont mean to offend anyone. I trully dislike but like it when someone critizises me! Because, that is like grinding the burrs and defects from my life to make my days easier.
Hi Miko,
I haven’t really spoken to you yet and my advice is to get some lessons or coaching on sentence structure or similar because i feel that you can’t articulate what you truly feel. I can understand that you have issues but i can’t truly grasp the full extent of your problems. I’m not trying to be mean i’m just being honest.
Hey oscar,
Not sure if the literature comment was aimed at me or not so i’ll give you a real life situation so you can be happy
I have a huge fear of being rejected by women. Fucked if i know where it comes from but anyway. At like every party i go to there always seems to be someone i want to be with but every time i go to approach them i fuck up. I tense up, sweat, all that shit, you know the fight of flight response. But i’ve read heaps of books which you seem to have a hatred of
and it helps a lot. I now realize that i was focusing on how fucked up my body was which only made it worse and i was also catastrophising which means seeing the worse in every situation, the worst thing being completely shut down and having others see it happen. So now whenever i’m in that situation instead of focusing on how bad i feel, i focus on how good the situation could be and all the times that i’ve had with other women that have gone smooth as fuck 
Hopefully that isn’t to bookish for you
Hey broman, I can tell you what, if you act like if you own the world I dont care what you look like heads will turn, trust me!!! Women like confident men! I get off like I own the universe. I do pretty good in that department, I was horrible thoe, i was so shy. IF i tell you what someone was doing to me while i was typing earlier It would BLOW your mind.
Yeah i get what your on about
I’m heading out to a party tonight and I’m so keen for it. I’ve been thinking about a bunch of times where I’ve been so smooth and confident and I’m in a mindset that anything is possible tonight!!
I’ll tell you how i go tomorrow but i’m quietly confident i’m going to have an awesome time tonight
Hmm i’m curious have any of you read ‘The Game’ or any books similar to it ???
aha!
that is why i said i think its not healthy. we all do it as you say though
Miko, i trully do not mean to offend you non of us do. We are all here for the same reason. Pretty much all of us like to feed off of others problems../ Look at Britney Spears, thousands of people go through that daily where is the media? I think I actually know why people like to see others down. Number one it tells us WOW i am not the only one that is screwed up! and two we love to come to the rescue of others its our nature. It some how makes us feel like we mean or meant something to someone. miko} I sense you’re not happy something dramatic happened recently let it out!!! talk to us or email me or someone! hey “d” you were onto something with miko. thanks bud oscar
woww wow wow guys? what is this adversed attack on miko?? u keep saying we r all here for the same reason that we lack something or need help.n i believe this will be reached through trying to understand if not pick up points that indicates what that person really is trying to say. everyone here has a message has an idea .some have the ability to expresse it somehow , others get confused and expressions just fail them. and i believe that this guy here “miko” said he is the new born. so let’s respect his excitement to join this site n this discussion…trust me ,i see many ideas in miko’s comment, so confused, a mixture of thoughts that explains a certain stance toward one’s life. and those ideas just give a foggy picture unable to be contemplated.simply sir”miko” would u please emphasize what do you really want to say .because it’s too vague up there. we would appreciated .SIR Oscar. u said u felt a huje change from negative to posetive. well thanks to this site me too i really have many things which have taken another direction.for me i believe that to find somebody to talk to is the best remmedy to ones suffering.Befor, i used to chatt n say whatever i ‘ve deep inside ,however,i feel worse than before;but once i got in this conversation i started to feel better .then i said to myself”AT LAST SOMEONE TO UNDERSTAND”. also, whenever i switch on my PC ,the first thing i do is: “yo girl GO TO PICK THE BRAIN’S MAILS” unavoidable action.guys i trully wanna thank ou for all and keep on helping eah other becuse nobody’s perfect. GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU.
heehee… We are all here for the same reason trust me! to somehow better our lives, and second to feed off of each other, besides i have nothing else better to do::miko:: I stand by my earlier post! There are two ways of taking things. Good or bad! IF anyone here thinks you can post something that dramatic and not get both negative and positive feed back!@ You truly do have issues, I though i understood he was new born to this blog. If you want symphaty I dont think you’ll get it ere. miko is kool reply miko, i just think he or she has really deep thoughs he or she wants to let out! Take the Bull by the horns and ride em. I am opening my self to critism to so you have to take the good with the bad and land in between. I guess we were kinda mean!!! but again us as humans we tend to deal with new and different people in different ways, I am not religious at all, but I do believe something is outthere and not the X files type of stuff. I am a huge science fan!!! LOVE YA!!!
And besides i wrote please do not get offended, I probably have more issues here than anyone else. smell ya laters.
“d” i was the rude one not you, i guess i got caught up in the exitement… I truly believe I havent chatted with such an intelligent group of people before… Hey you guys I am a kickboxer so here is another good site for confidence. You guys will love this one to but pickyourbrain is better. info@martialartslegend.co.uk
hi guys im here again nevermind i dont get angry about this i hate sympathy too so if you see in me sth just let it comes up i know when you criticise sb you’re pretty sure that (s)he made sth wrong. concerning me i dont have that big problem that you all said just i tried to give you my view not depending on books or imagination i said i’ve seen in my life n my experience n what i’ve done with pp in my life up till now also i dnt limit myself in such limitation i always go trough things far from me in order to get full understanding to the facts cos this is what i learnt from a sychologist who thought me to depend on several views before getting into my own this is why it looked like that i read more n not concentrating on real life in the oppostie i always tried to be real rather than unreal maybe this view that i’ve given is my reality but again doesn’t mean that is wrong cos i beleive in a saying NOBODY IS PERFECT n nobody is wrong n nothing has come from nothing it is from our memories n experience
miss DESDEMONA i wanna say it’s not a mixture of ideas but rather my personal view on things.well self confidence is our own problem not for anybody cos we who lock themselves into these ideas that is when we need things we dont go stright foraward to it we keep on turnin arround n assume that we went for it.yea it’s nice to think simply so as to get a simpple reaction but not all the time is true cos if you keep living simply it won’t give you much n you know we’re from the category that wants to get n to acheive what our sorroudind did or less then. things we really can do unlike if we do it in a simple way i know to be easy in life is nice but we dont know cos sometimes we got enthusiastic eager to do things we want thing we dont want we say ok TAKE IT EASY !!!???
I am not sure what is going on but who needs writing skills here… I am so lost
sympathy!!!euuuuh anyways those who miss sympathy sees it everywhere…no comment i don’t wanna go any further repeating the same thing.one thing is if anybody has something to say why can’t he or she say it straight n share what is rolling in his head instead of being metaphysical about facts.knowing that we learn from each other hereand that’s the point of this forum isn’t it.”MIKO” what kind of comments u r making? r u here for help or to give advice cus we tried to understand but u said in your last comment:”concerning me i dont have that big problem that you all said just i tried to give you my view ….”.is there anything we can do to get on the same ligne.”of course in case ur interested in sharing !!”
sir Broman im interested in reading .so what kind of books is “the Game”.plz
Mona, i knew there were deep issues with “M” miko you lashed out at us the other day!Sorry bud! but regardless of what other people comment or try to defend you, you have SEROIOUS ISSUES MAN! all were trying to do is help one another! Hey MONA how did it go the other day at the party!
I didn’t know Mona went to a party i thought it was me
It was ok it rained all day yesterday so a lot of people ditched the party and only about 6 girls went that were single. There were 2 girls standing by themselves so i approached and noticed one of them had their arms folded which is something i’ve learnt about from learning about body language so i used that as my opener and then i talked to them for about 10 minutes but it was fairly painful as both of them were on the extreme side of being shy. Later we were all dancing and i tried with them again but got no where and then one of my friends said that they were just rejecting everyone. So yeah that’s pretty much my night just getting shut down and drinking beers. Also i fucked up because i offered one of the girls a beer and i don’t know if you guys believe this but its pretty much like saying i’m a pussy and if i give you this gift will you stay with me. Thats what i beleive anyway.
I would love some feedback or advice!!
sir Oscar what do you rreally want to say that i have issue with “M” . i don’t wanna have any thoughts untill now. . alos i dont appreciate not facing me .believ me oscar i am not trying to defend anybody here i am not anybody’s lawyer. i don’t try to be sympathetic or nice or being a wamon at all.im kin dof trying to understand and test my ability of respecting others.trust me if it was me to whom u responded the way u did i will never get into this site cus i will net feel comfortable as long as u don’t try see me. im disapointed cus i thought this site allow us to face each other but this thing i dunno whether it is fear of facing or . . i just dunno. but still i can say nothing more but thanks.
Hi Desdemona,
The Game is about picking up women but its also about your confidence, approaching people and things like that. Its by Neil Strauss and i highly recommend it. I lent my copy to a mate and i haven’t seen it for about 3 weeks so i’m guessing he liked it. Its one of those books that you have to read 2 or 3 times to fully appreciate how much information is in it. He also wrote a book called rules of the game which is a 30 day challenge to increase your confidence, posture, voice and image. I’ve also bought it but i’ve only done about 5 days so far.
hi guys im sorry for what i said just did not mean sth bad to anyone i tried merely to answer what i understood it is was a question risen up explicitly to me that’s all but again im sorry.yeah i need to share too about my confidence dont k,ow but it seems but im always lost into my world which is not that wnderful that anyone can have im trying hard to find my reason but no way out.well MR broman i see your looking arround you to get your desire toward girls but not all the time what you know is the best way to get them cos maybe they’re familiar with them n got fed up try another style acts speech n see if it works
Hey Miko,
Yeah i guess your right, i have to stand out from the other guys. I mean everyone starts conversations the same way. I can do a pretty cool trick with a zippo lighter which impresses everyone i see so maybe tonight i might use it to get into a group in the clubs. But make it fun so say hey if i can impress you you owe me a drink, deal??? I’m pretty keen to do it now. Last night i left my zippo at home and i was going to show a few people the trick, i feel naked without it now because its become a part of me just like my rings and bracelet
“picking up women!!!!!” interesting…let me ask u about this issue u have with “women”,as long as u try always to chase any chick you see at a party you’llnever be satisfied .i wish i am not interferring in ur personal stuff but “have u ever been left down by a woman” ,also have you ever had a specific wamon in ur life? why couldn”t u try to find one lady who can offer you all what u need “love ,carring,time,understanding. . .” u mentioned something like “rings bracelet..” what kind of styles u have.hip hop or punk or rock or hard or metal … or u can be simple. brief, what i try to say is that ,many girls seldom have that stereotype about appearances.look around you ,maybe outthere, there is someone who deosn’t mind to spend an honest ,serious time with you. i believ that trying to make urself famous and try to attract girls by showing them tricks or stuff like that absolutly will succeed .but it won’t last.if u r looking for love or a constant relation with an honest girl.this will be reached only if that girl loves you for who u are not for the tricks u can do.im teling you this because changing girls like T-shirts or trying to spend time with any girl you meet always ends up with a frustrating and hopless look at things.don’t say that ur rejected by women .ofcourse not,because GOD created both men and women so as any one of them can think of words like ‘together .”me & you”.”, to allow each one of us to look for perfection in the other, that nobody can “be” without the other.but it requiereds time n experiences to find the one you think both of you belong to the same world. i hope what i said makes sense.
and oneother thing broman ” women worth all what u can think of it possible to have them in ur armes even the impossible!!.because once they r in you’ll be treated the king of your era.”
i believ my english in’t really correct but i guess the meaning can be deciphered.
cheers
Hey Desdemona,
I understand what you are saying about searching for just one girl and being in a long term relationship but I’ve thought about it and its just something that doesn’t really appeal to me at the moment. You asked if i’ve ever been let down by a women and yes i have but i believe its something which happens to everyone who’s ever been in a relationship and its never been anything which has left me bitter or anything like that
I can’t really think of a way to describe my style but i think its sort of says that i want to party and have fun and i also believe that it gives people a sense of my personality without me having to say a word.
And i also realise that the tricks are just a way of getting into a conversation with someone and then letting your personality come forth.
well broman i wish you all the best.
OK! mona no one is even talking about you! “M” has issues. And now I trully believe so do you, you are a hostile person so keep my name out of your post. I already know your problem, and its attention defecit and paranoia, I could honestly careless about you now.
lol
its all nonsense really. the mind loves imagination, creating stories.
stop eating sugar
narrow minded. nobody really is carring for each other here we all try to see ourselves in each one’s situation. i believ you are the one with limited self respect.trust me you have problems. for me i am never ashamed of saying the truth. yes i have issues but i am proud i could talk about them im so proud i could make myself feel better .and all the crap u said, trust me will reinforce the idea that some people really lack something of being polite. . about your name.hehe it’s just a name who the hell cares about your name. i don’t log here to see names ,i read these comments to pick what’s good to me an dpost whan can be helpfull to some..true your name has been but will never be . holly cow you know my problem???!!! but plz tell me do you know urs ??? that’s a question u should think of . paranoia HAHAHA? no comment.listen let’s keep this blog clean and neat of small scummy missunderstandings like u try to creat.and carring or not carring its your own problem.if this will make you feel good.trust me i am the most pleased not having any response from you to any of my comments i’ll be so glad.but one thing.everyone should respect his limits.if you don’t mind no more “bla bla bla.for me i really wnt to apologize to this blog and express my deep sorry for things like these. because this blog aims to hold a group of people all together helping ad understanding each other .not focusing on black spots in everyone’s comment. thanks people.it was nice, spending time with you all without exception. one other thing “good morals help to build one’s personnality “.
narrow minded. nobody really is carring for each other here we all try to see ourselves in each one’s situation. i believ you are the one with limited self respect.trust me you have problems. for me i am never ashamed of saying the truth. yes i have issues but i am proud i could talk about them im so proud i could make myself feel better .and all the crap u said, trust me will reinforce the idea that some people really lack something of being polite. . about your name.hehe it’s just a name who the hell cares about your name. i don’t log here to see names ,i read these comments to pick what’s good to me an dpost whan can be helpfull to some..true your name has been but will never be . holly cow you know my problem???!!! but plz tell me do you know urs ??? that’s a question u should think of . paranoia HAHAHA? no comment.listen let’s keep this blog clean and neat of small scummy missunderstandings like u try to creat.and carring or not carring its your own problem.if this will make you feel good.trust me i am the most pleased not having any response from you to any of my comments i’ll be so glad.but one thing.everyone should respect his limits.if you don’t mind no more “bla bla bla.for me i really wnt to apologize to this blog and express my deep sorry for things like these. because this blog aims to hold a group of people all together helping ad understanding each other .not focusing on black spots in everyone’s comment. thanks people.it was nice, spending time with you all without exception. one other thing “good morals help to build one’s personnality
According to me, self confidence is must in every individual, as it tells not only to you but the infront person who is watching you that how much you are living life fully.
living life is another thing and loving life is another. if you have confidence on you to make a difference you love yourself, or life will become only a journey.
the steps given above are really important to build up confidence in all aspects like walt, talk, speech or whatever.
a small suggestion to all the readers of this article, please apply all possible ways to make you confident.
enjoy life. allah hafiz
I agree with you Rabab.
i suppose you can pretend to be confident. but it doesnt work… not until you come to realise that you already are confident
as i think a few people mentioned earlier on this board -i dont think you can learn to be confident by applying these things. you have to BE confident in order for these things to happen.
in other words all these things may be things that describe what a confident person may do but not that what creates them.
in my very first posts .i was so desperat and so needy for help.but if you have the will to change to the better ofcourse .you will absolutly do it.i am till working on myself .but i noticed that the offspring of selfconfidence is just like rabab said “it is a must in every indidvidual”. i believ that first thing in building one’s self confidence is to be sure of what he or she is doing.for instance. when u doubt about sth .just don’t do it.and be confident that every choice u make is what u r poetive it is good for your ownself.adopting these tips given above.is pretty helpful.but you have to watch out not to forget who you really are deep inside .learn how to be brave to defend your actions.u don’t really have to justify what u r or what u do.live it simple. accept yourself the way GOD had created you.and always remember that every creature has what makes it special.so be proud of what you have special in you. don’t wait for the external world to deliver it to you . wherever you are keep your head up high.and show the world all the modesty GOD has put in.just be human and be yourself.and if selfconfidence is for some based on what the other sees in you. then working on the appearance and visual stuff would do it.God bless you all.
i do not agree with looking for GOD as the answer;
however everyone of us is different, and as you say, different people need different stimuli to find the answer.
absolutly being diffrent is the answer to the mistery of the harmony GOD had put in his creatures.and i repsect being disagreed.BUT what i this thing that you really don’t appreciate in having god as part of the answer. i just couldn’t see your stance.
Well, what you gave us in the post is 10 great advices how to appear self-confident to others… in other words useless marketing bullshit… walk faster, sit in the front row…sheesh, give me a break…
Nobody is going to make fun of you for not speaking perfect English. And anyone who does is immature and not worth your time. Everyone who learns a language has to begin somewhere, and it takes a long time to become fluent and able to speak like a native speaker. Most people will appreciate your effort and overlook your mistakes, some will correct you (don’t feel bad – if they’re being polite about it, they’re trying to help), and some people will even find you endearing. Don’t forget that the more you practice, the better you will become.
true
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it’s funny how with self confidence, if you fake it for long enough by your apperance and doing things that people with high self confidence do, you actually start to feel more confident for real.
I’m also into self improvement and discuss it on my blog, come check it out if you have a chance.
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the more you try different things and realise you have all the time in the world to do what you want… the more you’l be free from apparent lack of confidence
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My future father in law gave this website with me because I am having a problem regarding myself confidence…I’m sure I starting to like this page and I will learn a lot from it…got cha!
I improved my self confidence by the great book Speak as a Spokesman on http://www.SpeakAsASpokesman.com.
Try it.
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One of the best ways to learn how to be self confident is the military, especially the Marine Corps. If you can get through basic and the rest, you will find yourself full of confidence in yourself.
I really thanks to all these above comments which really help me to strive on self confidence but my problem is something different as english is second language for me as well this is an international language so i have to use it very precautiously so no one laugh at me and at this age i think i have to speak in good manner what i am using should be goood enough to talk about
so pls give some comments regarding this subject as this demotivates me and decrease my self confidence
I have also got problems with my English. The level of it varies so much. I have studied in England for four years. I cannot say that I have learned the language during these years as I have probably been exposed to the language throughout my life, though American English has had bigger influence. The level has, however, improved quite a lot though over here, but I’m still getting these “very bad” English days very often. Then, the other days I feel almost like it would be my first language. I don’t know what causes this (it’s probably something psychological) but it really bugs me and makes me depressed. Has anyone else ever experienced these same kinds of feelings?.. And does anyone know how to build up self confidence regarding second languages?
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I enjoyed reading about your tips on self confidence. For me, I haven’t always been confident. In high school I was extremely shy. I slouched and was not proactive. I was this way because I knew of no other way to be. Later on in life, what has helped me is finding my purpose in life and making the decision to be confident and successful. I am amazed that by making a simple decision to pursue success that my confidence is also increasing. By taking steps in life to find your purpose, believe in yourself, build yourself up, and give back to other people, you will then begin finding confidence. Ultimately, make the choice to take life head on and don’t look back.
P.S. Look at examples of confident and successful people. They are proactive and go-getters. “The Rock”, “Bill Gates”, “Michael Jordan” just to name a few.
Finding Confidence – take the time to research, and then make a decision to be confident. Stand up and say, “I am confident”. Then act confident. Believe in yourself. I believe anyone can be confident if they simply choose to be and take the steps necessary to become so.
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i think i dont have enough self confidence to make friends and the worse thing is that i think i am not attractive to my friends.i am a youngh girl and i need to be attractive especially to my boy friend i will be grateful if you help me
Hi Sevil, if you have a boyfriend already then obviously he has found you attractive in some way otherwise he wouldn’t be with you. We all tend to think that people are judging us but when you think about it how much do you judge other people … my bet is you hardly ever do, i know i don’t. So if no one is judging you then you have nothing to worry about. Also having a boyfriend should give you a fair indicator that your an attractive person.
Hope this helps
i realy enjoyed your 10ways to instantly build self confidence i am trying to be more confident but i need a help because lack of self confident makes me feel that i am not attractive to my friends especially to my male frinds im a young girl and need to be attractive
You have to remember that this is how to INSTANTLY build self confidence not how to become a confident person. To me personally this article contains some valuable information, such as; dressing well, having good posture and being grateful for who you are as a person.
Dressing well: It goes without saying that you should have pride in your appearance. Often the clothes your wearing, the way you have your hair, or your smell (wearing colognes and perfumes) has a dramatic impact on the overall way you feel about yourself. I spend a fair bit of time everyday working on my appearance. I wear nice clothes (this does not mean expensive clothes or brand name clothes), i wear a cologne (Reaction Thermal by Keneth Cole), i style my hair with Gel or wax and i make sure that i am clean shaven and my teeth brushed. After this i feel great.
Good posture: I’d like to change this a little and say have good body language, there are many books on the topic and one i have read is by alan and barbara pearce. It says that something like 70 percent of what we portray is non verbal. Like when you say you felt a vibe that someone was angry with you or attracted to you it was more than likely because of their body language.
Being Grateful: Perhaps grateful is a bit over the top, you can’t be happy with everything about yourself. I believe this is impossible. But you can accept who you are. This will dramatically change your thinking and self confidence. If your a bit over weight you accept it. You might not like it but you acknowledge that its a problem. When you come to a stage of self acceptance you will feel better about yourself. Maybe not because you have a problem but because you acknowledge it is a problem or maybe it isn’t a problem and by focusing your attention on it you can come to this realisation.
thanks Broman your reply made me very happy especially your well dressing advice it is a really practical one but i dont have boyfriend
Yeah thats ok. I’m only 18 at the moment and i’m doing the single thing by choice
Next time you see a guy that you think you want to be with instead of focusing on all his good characteristics focus on the bad ones. It will give you a confidence boost because you then realise that he has faults just like everyone else.
hi broman to be honest,your suggestions works very well,at least they are so usefull for me thanks
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please give me a practical advice.i have a suiter in university who isnt a logical boy he loves me for 4 years but after 1.5 years i feel that he isnt suitable for me but from that time up to now i cant undrestand him that i dont like to speak with him and when he want to talk with me i cant do anything and when i escape from him he follow me and can find me and can stop me every where.
dear leila escaping will never solve your problem try to talk with him and explain that you can not be happy couples and frankly tell him you dont like him as a husband let him understand your feeling about himself
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Self confidence is great! My confidence was quite low, but i thought it was ok, because i had some. But i got a little confidence and it got a good response and i felt great for a week, now i am slowly building my confidence and being the person i want to be. Music helps alot for some reason, buying clothes help aswell. If these material things help to build your great personality that you and everyone likes, then why not.
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I tend to be able to speak out with a small group of friends that i feel comfartable around but when it comes to other groupsof people which i often find myself doing ifeel uncomfartable and barley say a word and people notice that and say stuff to me and i dont really express myself and say somthing back i say yes or no answers. If i used to hangout with another group and then i will go to another and i hangout with the old group i feel weird and dont want to talk. What should i do?
Those who say these tips don’t work are wrong. Self confidence is all about how you feel. These things will help make you feel better about yourself, and when you feel good, good things happen to you.
thank you all
This is great and it inspires me a lot, i have just subscribed to this website and foud this very helpful and uplifting. Neatness, tidyiness and my outer-look has an impact to my self-comfidence. I get often discouraged wheni get negative comments about the colour selection of my clothes. I am an individual that is not fond of bright colours, i don’t know why people are always judgemental. Inner-talk helps me a lot to boost my confidence through any challenge that i am facing whether work or personal related.
t’s a hard thing to explain but it has to do the way you were raised and what things u were allowed to do…and also people believing in u.
if ur parents always gave u bad comments about wat u do and stuff of course u lose self confidance.
i say fuck what people say and do what u want, if its “wrong” and people said why u did it, say” because i can…..bitch”
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[...] ConfidenceJul 25, 2007 … Learn to build self confidence with these 10 strategies.http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-ways-to-instantly-build-self-confidence/Confidence WorldAn online resource centre designed for people who want more confidence and self [...]
[...] really understand how you feel unless you are willing to open up and share thoughts and feelings. Counseling therefore effectively helps reduce the symptoms of anxiety disorders such as irrational fear, heart [...]
[...] confidence: Give your self-confidence a boost and get rid of negative thoughts that harm your spirit and prevent you from doing the things that [...]
I Really like this Boy called Tom and he recently asked me to meet up with him and i was really down because i didnt want hi to be dissappointed with what he saw – but the speech idea really worked for me and now i cant wait to see him! x
I definitely agree with number 8 but I’m not too sure about number 2. Confident people have a certain pride in their step but not necessarily fast walkers. More a normal, positive stride from what I’ve noticed.
[...] confidence: Give your self-confidence a boost and get rid of negative thoughts that harm your spirit and prevent you from doing the things that [...]
well i dont know how you tell yourself your not attractive cuse that just can’t be true. You are attractive to God, cuse he made you. And God himself said that you were fearfully and wonderfully made and knowing just that, that theres a God closer than far, thats loves you more than the beautiful earth He created, so much that on account of us He sent here to this earth His own Son, to die on account of us because we are born into sin. And that through Him, His Son, soly on believe in him, we are given eternal Life instead of the jugment and wrath of God and it is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.
But if you were the only person to have ever lived, He still would have went through all the suffering and punishment, for you.
So with that kind of Love aimed at us, we should never think of ourselves as unatractive.
dear All,
As 31 years male fellow i have tried number of times to build self confidence by way of self motivation that is my past expiriance etc., but it is in vain. Pls anybody tell me how to improve self confidance because as a managerial cader i have to supervise no of peoples, for this cause iam loosing my value with my subordinates
k.Venkat
Great articles and clears steps on building self confidence. We have to implement it after reading it!
[...] 10 Ways To Instantly Build Self Confidence [...]
[...] John Wesley at PickTheBrain.com Self confidence is the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared out of your [...]
Hello. Well, I’d like to know if there are any strategies for a good way of communicating in society: how to express things in an attractive persuacive way… How to control the voice, the tone, the volume, the vocabulary.. Thanks in advance
I run a dating advice company and this article is actually pretty accurate, unlike many I find on the internet
http://www.confidencedynamics.com
Very nice article. For years, I have struggled with self-confidence. Just today, I have notice myself having the slump shoulders, walking slowly, etc. I have put myself on notice for doing things like that.
[...] an alternative, for those of you who find 25 tips too daunting, there is another excellent article on confidence at the Pick the Brain website. This gives 10 tips for boosting your self confidence [...]
Good….)- everybody should have self confidence, then the world will turn and see U. This article is very excellent unlike other. The 10 tips are very nice, it shows that v should create more self confidence in us…
[...] poszukujesz dodatkowych informacji rzuć okiem na: 10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence (@Pick the Brain)Building Confidence Podcast (@Steve Pavlina) Jak zwiększyć własną samoocenę i pewność siebie? [...]
Another great article on building confidence.
it is good for writting home work
10 out of 10, wonderful article
“However, if John Wesley over at Pick The Brain is right and “(s)elf confidence is the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared out of your wits”, I might still have a problem
[...] by John Wesley Print This Post [...]
[...] YOURSELF “Ten Ways To Instantly Build Self-Confidence” http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-ways-to-instantly-build-self-confidence/ Find more like this at => [...]
[...] YOURSELF “Ten Ways To Instantly Build Self-Confidence” http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-ways-to-instantly-build-self-confidence/ Find more like this at => [...]
[...] (1) Know who you’re audience. Who are you talking to? How do you need to deliver your message? This becomes difficult when you have a mixed room of personalities. For example: A “D” personality type…driven…likes to hear a results driven pitch. An “I” might like an inspiration and personable interaction. An “S” could like an more loyalty driven/caring approach. Finally, a “C” wants as much detail as possible…the more spreadsheets and thorough details the better. (reference post on personality profiles) (2) Confidence – one of the greatest fears people have is to speak in public. While some people or born with enough confidence for a dozen people. Others have a limited amount. If you don’t have, practice. There are plenty of speaking and communication opportunities around. Seek out opportunities in church, local colleges, local business meetings, and other places. If you can schedule one session per month, you’ll have done 12 sessions in a year and be much better prepared.It’s also good practice to find a mentor that will do lunch or meet with you. This allows you to “step up” from your peers and dialogue with someone on a higher level. Typically, your dialogue will be notch or two higher than you are accustomed. After several sessions, you’ll notice some changes in your thought processes and communication style. (10 tips for self confidence) [...]
Self confidence is having faith in yourself and your ability to handle whatever situations are presented to you. You are blessed with freedom from doubt in yourself.
If you have faith in yourself, you are able to laugh at yourself. You trust and believe that you’ll be able to deal with whatever life throws you, good or bad. If you know what you want and where you’re trying to go, you have self confidence. If you stay calm under pressure, because you know it’s only a matter of time until you figure out what to do, you have self confidence. Another good indicator of having adequate confidence is a sense of purpose and a willingness to take risks.
The amount of success you achieve in life has a lot to do with how much self confidence you have. Making the decision to work at improving your self confidence could be the most important decision you ever make.
Life is a wonderful journey. So, enjoy it my friend
Definitely a great start for some one who lacks much self confidence. For number two; at some point in their life they had to walk “fast” to be able to walk slow.
Great pointers for anyone in need of help with their confidence.
I think dressing sharp is a good point – if you know you look good, you feel good!
Hy i am farhan from pakistan,and my national language is urdu so it is hard for me to speak a right english and i lose my confidence infront of other who is a good english speaker
Trust yourself. Act on that instinct and get to know yourself. Once you are comfortable with you, you can be comfortable with anything.
Knowing yourself and understanding yourself will give you an internal place of refuge when there is no other place to go.
agree! know thyself
it may take some doing if you are covered in bad habits and covered up sense of self. but once you get there anything is possible
Like previous commenters I would agree that some of these tips will work for some people in some situations, but none of them are likely to work for everyone, all the time (that’s life…).
Thing is, we’re all different and the situations that make us lack confidence are different, so there is no cure-all. But that doesn’t make the tips any less valid.
I think dressing well CAN boost your self confidence, but I think it’s more about finding styles that suit you and make you feel good, rather than watching the latest trends. When I was working there were certain things I would choose to wear when I knew I was in for a difficult day and wanted to boost my confidence.
Not everyone who follows fashion looks good! And the fact that famous people dress very badly at times yet still ooze self confidence shows it’s all relative.
Another tip I picked up years ago was to stand up if you’re making an important or difficult phone call as it makes you feel more confident about it.
If you have mastered a skill to any degree, whatever it is, it will boost your self confidence because it’s something you know you can do successfully.
And if you lack confidence in social situations try focussing on the other person and asking them about themself. It takes the pressure off worrying about yourself.
Examples of extremes from my own experience:
I’ve stood up in front of a couple of hundred parents – without much notice – and advised them how their children should choose school subjects, without batting an eyelid.
Then at the start of 2008 I moved to Greece with my partner, and this usually confident person suddenly got nervous about even going to the local supermarket on her own. I was in a new environment that I was struggling to get to grips with, and things that hadn’t been a problem before suddenly were.
Great tips. Thanks a bunch.
[...] Here are 7 Ways to Instantly Build Self-Confidence: [...]
[...] Pick the Brain [...]
Im Tanya and im 19 years old,I live in Nova Scotia Canada.Self Confidence is having eye contact,having a friend saying to show you can.Helping an alcohol,without judgement,Im not alcoholic.Helping people become open minded.Helping people look on the inside instead of looking outside.Its important to love your imperfections.
Its good to take a hobbie,art,sing,smile and look in the miror and say I love you!!!Good Hygene is important.,Im still working on it.Treat yourself for a bubble bath.Im not always right or wrong.Dont follow me.Just be yourself then you will have the self confidence.But most of all God will make you shine your confidence.
love always Tanya
Do not hold grudges,and people should not haunt the past in your face!!!!!
Tanya
Im not a true Christian,but I love God..but not as much as i should.
Drinking alcohol relaxes you,But dont become an alcoholic.If you cut down on it,It will change your self confidence.I just worry about the world.I love money,but there are down sides and good sides.The good sides is you buy alot of things like cell phones,Cds,give to the poor.But money is not the true happiness,Its about being a good person trying to be nice.Its important to have a good job that supports the family.Dont have to listen me just understand that its from my heart.
love Tanya
love Tanya
Down sides of money
jealousy greed
[...] up. What made you successful before? What are your strengths? Frequently, this exercise will build self confidence, help you figure out what went wrong, and generate ideas for success in spreading Christmas [...]
I think substance helps a lot in giving confidence, such as having abundance of knowledge and experience.
You know what you do, if not, your head will be down.
I would do more and learn more to have my head up toward the sky!
[...] Hale presents 10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence at The Change [...]
[...] 10 Ways to Instantly Build Self-Confidence – Pick the Brain [...]
Sophia Loren once said, “Getting ahead in a difficult profession requires avid faith in yourself. That is why some people with mediocre talent, but with great inner drive, go so much further than people with vastly superior talent.”
I love your mention of Gratitude. It has a magic beyond imagination. Great post. Thank you.
Style, Physical Fitness, Walking, Dressing sense… if all this matters means everyone can easily build their confidence…
Hi,
It’s really amazing to read different people’s perspective and point of views .. everyone see the world from a different angle .. from a different point ..
I like the 4th piont (Personla Commercia) .. Keep reminding yourself of what u have accomplished in the past years .. motivate ur self .. n -take this advice from me- DO NOT WAIT FOR A MOTIVATION FROM OTHERS .. coz u’ll be w8ing for ever !! .. if u want somethin .. get it ur self !
I do consider my self as confidence .. I wasnt suprised when I read this artical since I’ve been practicing all the 10 points since I was 11 years old ! (thanx to dad)
I learned that we shouldnt spend time thinking about wt people r thinking abt us ! .. if we want people to accept us .. then we should accept ourselfes first !
OK .. am sounding like Dr.Phill now .. lol
Anyway .. Thanks for the artical .. n thanks for every1
I resent that last one … I dont always concentrate on myself in fact i think more about others than i do myself. (you spelled “your” wrong in step 10) Thanks for the tips!
Dressing sharp sure does get me sucked everynight.
Hahaha, true that my good sir, well said
I have always done better in life when I was at a “confidence high”. However, the key to my successful living relies on being able to maintain that confidence during stressful life situations. We all have problems now and again and maintaining myself through physical exercise, appearance, believing in my abilities, etc. has really helped me get back on track so to speak.
Well,you see in my situation. I thought I lost self-confidence. When I indeed never had any. I started school in September and I was very loving nad very social. But after some time. A kid got transfered to my class and well he started being nasty to me. You see,I’m openly gay. And It seemed that this kid was homophobic. and on the SECOND week of school. Everything changed for me. i was picked to be in his grouped and he was angry and fustrated that he had to work with me. He through a fit. Which made me feee like nothing. Then the next week he make friends with this other kid in my class. Imagine how they become friends. He became friends with the other kid by talking about me. And after he made this group,which all of them picked on me. Well,behind my back. Not to my face. Each time I turned around they stopped talking and they looked downed.I was frequently absent to school. My fear was to get talked about. Or to see them. I actually cared for what they say.And I still do to some very small extent. But I’m working on it.Through vacation. I did a huge improvement on myself. And I learn how to self-accept myself. And I’n still going to the struggle . But I’m still reaching for my dreams and finding the light at the end of the tunnel.
)
Alot of seen my improvement. But I still not on what I want. But I have to keep going and I will see if this steps will help me more.
P.S. I’m doing alot better in school and I’m not going to fall like I did before.
Sincerly,
Richard
Very well written. You have described each point very nicely. The most important part is “TRUST YOURSELF”. Say you are the “BEST”.
I have always a cronic anxiety.I fell something pinch me in the back if I am among group of peaople in social activities and sometimes certain situations make me panic ,I do not what to do .I sometimes believe the avoidance of people is the best solution,any body can help me,????
I’ve lived on this Earth for 56 years and can tell you that there are only 2 factors that influence how you feel about yourself. One is how you look and the other is the KNOWLEDGE of how other people know you look. There is a famous tip that I recall from some unknown source. It tells you how to feel confident when standing in front of an audience of other people who are listening to you…… imagine them all naked.That might work if you have the body of a Greek god but if you have the body of a geek or you are fat it doesn’t work does it.? If like me you are a thin boned skinny guy then any body looks superior to yours.Does that matter? Hell yes , especially in today’s body conscious society. Oh listen…Ispent years trying to convince my 2 daughters that they need’t spend hours in front of a mirror angsting over their looks because everybody else was so busy doing the same thing that they wouldn’t be noticed. Truth is I was lying. People DO look at you and compare your looks to theirs. People ARE repulsed by people who do not live up the now accepted norm of beauty….they just don’t show it. How do Iknow this .because these same people would, if allowed rush outside and roll around in the newly fallen snow or autumn leaves just like kids…if they knew they could get away with it. We are all just children…we just suppress our instinct to behave like one when we mature..but it,s still there.
I think this article hits it on the head as far as what we can do which is in our control. The only other options are ingesting chemicals and most people dont need to do that.
I started my website, http://www.networkingnotecards.com, because I wanted to help people with their conversation confidence. Check it out and let me know what you think.
These are all good tips. If any of you are interested in more inspirational articles, visit Joan Marie Whelan’s blog. Joan Marie is an amazing life coach who has helped me through a lot of difficult times. i encourage all of you to check out her site!
I feel like i need to boost my self confidence. I read this article and I walk fast naturally, I always make it a point to sit up straight to the extent of people complimenting me on it. Although somethings in life get me down, I’m aware of the fact that I am very lucky and greatful for all that is around me. I compliment other people all the time as a few positive words don’t cost me anything but can make someone else’s day and I feel that focusing on contribution not only tie’s in with gratitude and really does help us to appreciate what we have but it helps to bring me up when I am down.
So why is it that I can’t seem to present myself well at interviews? I went for a job interview the other day and really wanted it. In the end someone else got it. I asked for feedback and the person said that they had nothing negative to say.. that i presented myself well and they found me very nice. I honestly think that it was my lack of enthusiasm. If I wasn’t so shy, I would have been a bit more bubbly and jumped up to show the person how much i wanted this job! But something was holding me back.. something was holding me down in that seat.
I guess that I’ll read the other things in this article and try make the change.
Thanks for listening
Hey Beverly,
Please don’t underestimate yourself. Definitely there is some big opportunity for you and you have to show them that YOU are the BEST. Just face everything confidently.
Wish you good luck for your future.
Thank you Hemlata
I appreciate your words
There are so many comments, I read many, but not all.
I just left my new husband because of my dwindling confidence. I liked the article, but I liked what others shared more.
The part about walking was interesting. I have a lot of pain when I walk and that wears on my confidence because I am not able to do what I love anymore with out pain. I also liked the part about not gossiping and being negative about others. I find that I do this a lot. Not meaning to, but more just for idle conversation. My husband would tell me not to, and I never realized until now how weak that does make a person seem. Although he did not help me to feel better about myself and often made me feel much worse, I enjoy thinking that he had a good point now.
To those who are afraid to even go out, I wish you all the strength in this world. It is a dark and lonely place to not want to enjoy even a few moments outside your home.
I think that the trick is to push yourself to. Even if everyone hates you, it is never about them… enjoying a few moments out of the day to smile and see the beauty that is there right in front of our noses is what is more important.
I’m plagued with boredom, and a sullenness that often keeps me indoors, but I always feel a little bit better when I got out and breath fresh air.
A serious problem I have is sometimes talking to people I know. I always feel awkward around others. I am a survivor of all sorts of abuse and I think that that is the reason why. Perhaps a trust issue?
Does anyone have any suggestions to help me build self worth so that I’m not so uncomfortable sharing my time with people I like or already know. I always feel like such a burden. It is funny because I’m attractive and smart and funny, I even love to dress well and usually carry myself as though I’m very confident. Inside I just clam up if I have to get close to anyone.
Thanks and Bless you all.
A
Confidence really helps with many different aspects of your life. It’s honestly one of the things in life that you must have.
Great article!
i care too much abt wut ppl think abt me!!help
Well i don’t think that Sharp Dress is a good idea to get self confident, Because If a person who is handling his office work from home no need to get Sharp dress…
I would disagree with that Mukesh. When you dress up you feel good about yourself whether you are home working or out at an office. When you feel better about yourself you perform better as well.
Great article.
Dressing up is so important! When you look good, you feel good. When you look great, you feel great! When you feel great you perform better in all areas of you life.
It is imporant to dress well all the time so that you feel comfortable. It is easy to spot someone wearing a suit who is not used to it. Dress up often and you will be more comfortable. When you are comfortable you will be more confident. We all know how important it is to be confident!
[...] 10 ways to build up self confidence (via Lifehacker) [...]
Great Ways to increase your self confidence…I simply appreciate.
This is just great..I love it.Thank you!!
I have a problem that everytime i woke up for college i was feeling sick, and beeing sick everyday because of my nervs and because i wasnt that confident so now i have droped out of college, but now need a job and im scared that the same thing is going to happen before i go to work? any advice please!
Im not disagreeing with the 10 things, I think they could deffinatly help someone on the road to self confidence, just stating some personal thoughts.
Ive been in a highly looked up to position,I have a thin tone muscular build from exercise,I walk fast,Have good posture,Have had many “female relations” and, I like the way I dress.
At times Id feel on top of the world. Even mabe a little over confident.
Some of these things have come and gone and come back but through it all I realized it wasnt confidence I was feeling……. it was EGO.
Strip all or a few of these things away and you feel even worse.
Ive came away with a new way of thinking. Im not going to be truly happy until I feel comfortable in my own skin,With or without clothes,alone or surrounded, accepted or completely un-understood and,at peace with my inner-self. To the point where the thought of having confidence or not never even crosses my mind.
I enjoyed reading everyones opinions and on the road to inner peace I will practice steps #6 and #10.
Thank you!
thanks a lot … im gonna practice all the 10 of the above given points and would surely succeed in my life Thanks again
I always give second thoughts to EVERYTHING! i’m always so scared to try new things and to challenge myself. I feel self confident at first but then i just lose it!
[...] or shy. Even if you are a shy person, try holding her gaze for one to two seconds during conversations. Make sure she knows that you are paying attention to what she is saying and not to the food on [...]
so how can i get the exact tought about this topic “self confidence” which is the best for me please contact me and i wanna to reach @ the exact tought for my life.
My problem is that i wanna do more things in life life n i can do also bt i dont wanna show to my family that i am smart worker in my field.i try to hide from my family that i am a very fast in my work.pls help me
jus try to find out that u wanna proof anything to ur family or
hi its makala i like this webside
Hi, i read the page on how to be confident its just that i never feel confident even when things are good, could somebody please help me?
Have you checked out the website:
http://www.thinkandgrowballs.com
At the site you will find an excellent discussion on how to build self-confidence… or as J.D. Bloodstone puts it, “How To Shrink Your Fear & Enlarge Your Courage”. Check it out. This book will become a handbook for daily goal-striving.
hi!
nice tips
from now on I’ll try to walk faster
thanks!
Hello
I always make an opinion about a person at first meet, an opinion that remains forever. that’s why I’m afraid always when I meet a person.I don’t want to desapoint so I prefer to not speak very much, and when I speak I say things usual, nothing important. Then I feel bad and my self respect is decreased. what u recomand me to do to disappear my fear?
thanks
[...] post, that I’ve often come across first appeared 21 months ago on Pick the Brain. Titled 10 ways to Build Self Confidence – by John Jorgensen – it currently sits at the top of Googles page one for “self [...]
i loved this it helped me within seconds, thanks:D
Walk Faster is BS!!
confident people walk slow, because they own their time!
Great ideas. Lift up your chin, pull back your shoulder, stomach in and you already feel better.
Exercise can help to build your confidence. There are certain hormones in the body that can be released by exercise and give you temporary “happiness”.
I would add smile to the list. When you smile at somebody it’s hard not to get the same response back to your kindness and friendliness.
Heyah
Can anyone help me? I’m only 12, but I’m ver self-concious, The thing is, I over react. Like, for example, Boys, If i had to kiss one, i think “Wait, what if i do it worng, or if hee says something” .
I think about whats going to happen and exagarate the situation. Please help me, I’m always scared of what other people think, and mainly because of my looks. Thanks for your help
x
[...] Sources: Pick The Brain July 25, 2007 [...]
[...] http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-ways-to-instantly-build-self-confidence/ Published [...]
[...] [10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence] [...]
I like your rule about being grateful. It would definitely help if we focus on positive things instead of judging ourselves and others in a situation.
I liked and agree with Chris’s comments.
Long term confidence is something more valuable.
As a surfer i have many degress of selfconfidence they are the feeling of drowning , you may think it accours
with big waves ,but that is not the case .I have been in situations of drowning at a safe beach break and other times getting dumped on waves that are large.
I’m sorry if my not story is not releavent.
The only thing thats gets me through the fear of
drowning is not to pannic . I know it sounds weird .
but in every situtation in life when i feel i need control . I push my fear a little harder.Please , fear is also good . Take each step at a time .
I wish you all the best
Well I do really have a big problem on self confidence, the fact that my girlfriend is talking with a new guy and she just says that he’s just a friend just make get jealous and feel me bad becuase I really think he’s looking in another guy who is giving more or i really dont know, I accept I’m a nice looking guy but i Really dont have self confidence.
I hope somebody could help me
Andrew, you have to increase your self-esteem, never think negatively about yourself,think that you are good enough for your girlfriend, and be sure that you are the one who can love her a lot, think about all your positive points, that would help you a lot.
Avoid thinking negatively about yourself and not having self confidence, that will be frustrating yourself
Hope this will help a little
Han
im afraid to try new stuff say if im doing a sport i hate messing up and if i wanna try something i get to scared and hesitant i either dont doit or i just dont give it my all and get hurt or mess up again.
here has another 10 tips for confidence. let check it out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yO27wPFZZG0
This is really, really good advice; things we should all be paying attention to for ourselves and sharing especially with children.
Thank you very much for the reminder.
good stuff…
I read all the stuff in this entire site. It was really helpful. Keep up the good work.
Very good tips to groom a person. I will try to apply them in my life periods. Thanks
I perfectly agree with you that perception is reality—how you see yourself will most definitely be how others will see you and how people see you equates to how much they will respect you. Thank you for your tips on how to ! It’s amazing how we can actually build self-confidence by modifying our behavior. True, these strategies entail discipline, but hey, improving self confidence is surely our ticket to success—and I guess anyone would agree that a few lifestyle checks would definitely be worth it, especially if it’s your whole life on the line.
I perfectly agree with you that perception is reality—how you see yourself will most definitely be how others will see you and how people see you equates to how much they will respect you. Thank you for your tips on how to improve self-confidence! It’s amazing how we can actually build self-confidence by modifying our behavior. True, these strategies entail discipline, but hey, improving self confidence is surely our ticket to success—and I guess anyone would agree that a few lifestyle checks would definitely be worth it, especially if it’s your whole life on the line.
http://www.selfmademiracle.com/motivationmodel/how-can-a-person-improve-self-confidence/
am not confident enough, most of the time am talking I fear the confusion of R and L, this makes me feel bad I tend to talk less, making me uncomfortable
I was once a timid, anxious , scared yong woman, who would always sit in a corner and not say a word.
At the age of 30 that changed, I decided to walk through the TERROR BARRIER and I got CONFIDENCE on the other side.
I now equip, encourage and empower individuals to get the same personal power.
Be ENCOURAGED!
To your SUCCESS!
thanks for this !
it really helps out a lot.
I believe very STRONGLY that PURE CONFIDENCE COMES from taking ACTION. Courses are great, however I teach clients how to step into their personal POWER and stay there.
You can too, if you want me to work with you, I can , I have been there , so I can resonate with how you FEEL.
I have ovecome and am soaring with CONFIDENCE and SELF BELIEF!
To your SUCCESS!
i am a student and i just moved to usa and for the time i have been here i am realising that i am very bad at english well actually i can speak english in my mind but when it comes to speaking to other person i am all gone, i cannot find what to say and whenever i try to speak i always and ya always i speak up wrong and stupid, i know it is because of lack of self-confidence but what should i do i have tried for like hundred times to get over my this fear or phobia whatever and i can feel that i cannot survive here… or anywhere without this language…. unless i learn to open up and get over my fear. please help me out..
You must FEEL THE FEAR and DO IT ANYWAY, Susan Jeffers.
Take COURAGE and step out.
Your CONFIDENCE will then be birthed into your personal power.
[...] 10 ways to instantly build self confidence – Pick the Brain [...]
ok,so i kind have a fear of talking to new people and like opening up to people, especaily like when i meet a new girl or a girl i like then just blush or get nervous an don’t know what to say plz help thanks
hi,
well i didnt read all of posts, but its interesting though. I wonder what does it depend on. I mean a real super stable selfconfidence. cuz i felt very confident sometimes, but it goes away. dont know how to make it stable. and ps for all who think they are not good looking so they dont have high self confidence> first, good looking is not prerequisite for good self confidence but just the opposite!!! trust me, when i look back at “pretty” ppl in my life i can see that they were all just really self confident but most of them not really pretty, and this guy i know, he is a cripple and very much not so pretty, but he is probably one of the most selfconfident ppl i know and i tell you, he probably had more chicks than some stunning looking guys. just because he really belives in himself…..still i wonder, what is it based on??
[...] lack of it holds you back. Absolutely NOTHING is more attractive to people than confidence. Work on building your self confidence every day. And if you don’t have it yet? Fake it until you do. W.C [...]
This an excellent post. Building confidence actually comes from doing. Like they say “act like a man of thought”. So if you have a fear of rejection and feel inferior to anyone or any task that you have in your way.
Just act! By just acting you dissolve the fear with in your conscious mind and start to grow into a confident individual.
Confidence is a HUGE area, however it usually comes down to two BELIEFS…
Can I do it?
Am good ENOUGH?
f you keep walking through your fear, keepm taking action.
Or hire someone to walk you through your barriers, then let them come down and you walk in your own POWER.
[...] lack of it holds you back. Absolutely NOTHING is more attractive to people than confidence. Work on building your self confidence every day. And if you don’t have it yet? Fake it until you do. W.C [...]
Whenever i face crucial time then i lost,mainly in games
such as i played well and reached to the finals and then in finals i played like a novice,
dont know what happened to me in final situation
First of all, I dont agree that confidence is always attractive, some people a frightened by confident people and hate them for their confidence.
But in saying that confidence is a good thing to have, it gets you the things you want in life.
For all those people who have placed posts, slagging off the people discussing how to gain confidence, there are plenty off people like you out there.
The people who pay out people who try to improve them selfs are the types of people who hold others back so they can feel better about them selves.
First rule of being confident, ignore these people.
Second rule, learn not to worry about things, worring is “A WAY OFF THINKING” that is a learnt behaviour, have faith that things will work out even if it does not seem to be the case.
Third Rule, when talking to your self in your mind, dont say “I wish I was popular” (example), say “I Am Popular”, If this feels uncomfortable, like you are lying to yourself, That is where you are doing good in your mind, keep doing it, your subconsious mind is objecting, eventually the sub counsious will follow what the consious mind is saying. If you say I wish all the time thats all you will ever do.
Fourth rule, dont care what people think about you, go out there with clothes with holes in them and be proud that you are going against the flow, wanting everyone to like you will never happen, there fore you will never be happy if you are hoping this will happen. Be happy with the people who do like you for you and if no one likes you, work out why ?(eg.maybe you compain to much)
Fith rule, learn as much as you can, where ever you can, knowlege is power.
Sixth rule, if someone pays you out, dont respond directly or in your mind. They are nothing, calling them this and that, is an acknolegment that their comment had power over you, that makes you feel weak inside.
Usually these people are loosers and they will eventually hang them selfves and when you see it happen you will say nothing to prevent it from happening, then have a good laugh when it does.
Seventh rule, dont get upset if you make a mistake, evryone does it, learn from it, hide it if you can, from others, no one needs to know (dont draw attention to your mistakes)
eight rule, dont do things that are morally objectionable, that way you cant feel guilty for them later.
ninth rule, love yourself, strength comes from within,
Tenth rule,try to be the best, but never expect to be the best, there is always someone who can lift more or has a bigger doodle.
Thats a summery of what I think it takes to build confidence, I am sure that there wil be people who post responses paying me out, I say bring it on, I laugh at you, Hahahah I laugh because I am not you, hahahah and to those who are trying to improve yourself I say, I hope all your dreams come true, you are awesome, because alot of people dont even bother to try or worse still put others down to feel good.
[...] Too often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution you’re making to the rest of the world, you won’t worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world the more you’ll be rewarded with personal success and recognition. sumber: http://www.pickthebrain.com [...]
Last week in was in Romania for holidays. Then i was self-confident. But now when i am back in my home country i think that everyone is locking at me. So i cant walk normaly.
You did good job for me
you boost my confidence and mental energy to do well in my day
Thank you very much
keep doing and keep encouraging people like us
have a great day
its really a good pack of things…………..
power of thinking big id s good book which tells the same thing by david schwartz. interested people can read that one………..i myself is a sufferer of low confidence ,,,at times i am loiw of confidence and not feel like to so anything ,,,even to meet my dead lines i dont feel energetic…….
of cpurse the tips given helps atleast 80 % … i agree totally with the author……
Your article Motivates me alot .
[...] Celebrating The B-Day on May 9!! September 25th, 2009 at 6:26 pm http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-ways-to-instantly-build-self-confidence/References [...]
[...] Self Confidence – PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement. Leave a [...]
Hi guys, i have a small tip that i can share with others in
order to improve self confidence.Every single man on this world should have a moment that he should be proud and happy about himself.So if you are loosing any confidence when getting close to do an important or unavoidable things.In these times you should remember the instances that i have mentioned above.I also want to say that one donot want to be more concious about what others things about you.Such foolish thoughts will only harm your self confidence and courageness.In this time I also want to
remember you about one proverb saying “What others will thinks about you reveals that you are a slave of that man”.So guys always be your self and you should have your own style of expressing things.So always keep your Identity wherever you are in this whole world.
[...] Instantly Build Self Confidence [...]
as always awesome
Great post, and I would choose Work out as my favorite..
Once you get fit…
All the best
this is tut how to look like a sc person, and not becoming one.This 10 steps are just one step i the real scale.And they are not necessary.
The post is very good. I noticed that each time I put reddish nail polish I feel more confident. So, now before an important meeting I invest time in my nails and looks. I sometimes feel like a different person in these moments. Sometimes, I would buy something new just for an important event.
Also, the fact that I exercise often makes me happy about myself and about my self-discipline and helps me to avoid some time-consuming activities.
It is true that these are temporary boosters and I still have a long way to go, but I make progresses in this field and I am happy about this.
Thank you for the post!
This post is very useful. I am already subscribed for this. I love to read the new users feedback comments.
[...] 10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence Friday, March 21, 2008 By Apedia July 25th, 2007 by John WesleyYou can reach the original source at PickTheBrain.Com [...]
hey u shouldnt think like that, firt of all because if you think about it,YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND, and if he is going out with you he must have his reasons, i dont know what they are, but they have to be good reasons, people dont go out with somebody if they dont like them. and if they do it’s probably kuz they dont know what they r doing. so i just think u just need to think of what u have and how great u are.
[...] Articolul nu apartine niciunei categorii.http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-ways-to-instantly-build-self-confidence/ [...]
iam a MBA student, where i need to prepare a lot of presentations though english is my 2nd language but that doesn’t bother me but i don’t have confidence to go up on the stage and start talking about the presentation. Its something very hard for me and iam losing so many things in life.
Can some one please suggest what should i do to come over this problem of mine
cheers
I have this problem where I always take things that people say about me to heart. Can someone help me and tell me how to start believing in myself?
you need to know first who you are and love yourself and just be yourself . dont mind what other people saying as long you know that you dont hurt other peopl..
hi, i understood whats written here bout self confidence and i thank you for that, the thing is i really cant speak fluent in english and understand all of it.