Why Confidence is Both an Inner and Outer Game

When it comes to confidence, or the lack of it rather, people just want more of it.

Because they have to little of it, everything in their lives seems to be held back, so much so people feel a void within themselves.

The negative thoughts in your head go awry as you keep putting yourself down.

You don’t dare to talk to people too. You hold back and not do a thing.

And you feel like you’re being cheated out of your own life just because of confidence. Just one thing.

Do you ever feel like that?

The problem with gaining confidence

I personally find that people think confidence is a game only played from within.

They try to explore their thoughts and feelings to see what’s wrong and what they need to do to improve themselves.

From there, they expect their lives to improve.

I think that is flawed as confidence is also about literally getting out there and exploring things you can do outside of your mind, thus letting it work for you within.

The unexpected trial by fire

So… it kind of works like how you’re thrown in a position in your life and yet you came out fine.

Ever had a time where you were faced with a daunting task and felt you weren’t ready?

Yet… it all worked out fine.

Confidence isn’t just about working from within with your heart and mind. It’s about working on the outside too.

How to work your inner and outer game for confidence!

Inner confidence

1) Get rid of the negativity

It’s all in your head.

Negativity simply comes from negative thoughts.

“I don’t have confidence”, “I’m scared”, or “I’m not good enough”. Get rid of all of them.

Whenever you catch yourself thinking like that, simply replace it with a more positive thought.

Negative thoughts work like a train. Once it starts, it keeps going until it crashes and causes a wreck.

You got to stop it.

2) Find passion

Nothing works better than on your confidence by having something to love.

It’s called passion.

Passion is something you can always look forward to in life, something which you can hold dear to and nobody else can ever take that away from you.

With love, that’s how you get rid of all the inner negative chatter and well, basically just feel a whole lot better about your life.

How do you find passion? Simply note all your interests and what you’re naturally good at. Then try out all sorts of different activities until your heart and mind clicks!

3) Stop blaming yourself

It’s not always your fault you know.

Sure, you lack confidence. Maybe you held back and didn’t achieve your goals, but that doesn’t mean you need to blame yourself as if you’re the worst.

Always try your best, learn from it and grow. Recognize the progress you’re constantly making.

You’d surely see improvements.

Outer confidence

1) Meet people

Face it. This is life. You’re going to have interact with people whether you like it or not.

Confidence is largely based on dealing with people.

Start meeting people more and talk to them. This would help open up your life as you realize everyone else too, has their own flaws.

When you talk to people more, you’d realize there’s just more to life than just the inner chatter within you.

That being said, remember not blame yourself. The other party could be completely disagreeable to you and your values, and that’s not your fault!

Sides, you’re definitely not the only one who is suffering from a lack of confidence.

2) Gain experience

Above all, confidence is about gaining experience in life.

You can learn as much as you want in life about confidence, be it through reading blogs, attending courses or meditating, but you’re going to have to get out there start experiencing life.

Experience is what going to set confidence within you in stone. It’ll be with you forever.

3) Just try and do something

Once you feel ready, just do something.

All you got to do is try.

It’s start of your confidence game. How you play it is up to you. But get these basics in mind.

What little steps you take now will bring you a long way.

It’s going to be all good.

Just for Pick the Brain readers

If you reach to the end of this article, that’s awesome!

I just wanted to tell you about a free book I wrote about how you can START getting inspired. It’s all in here, the Revival Kit.

– How to find passion

– Gain confidence to do what you love

– Learn how to stop caring about what others think.

This free book is only available through this link to Alden-Tan. Check it out!


Alden Tan keeps it real at his blog and writes about motivation in unconventional ways. He tells it like it is, to heart of the matter. Check out his free report, Revive Your Life on “waking up” in life to start doing what you love.


Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.

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