“One who asks questions is a fool for 5 minutes, one who does not ask questions remains a fool forever.” – Chinese Proverb
I have always been a very competitive person. I have always been inspired by competition and it has always helped me do my best, but for me to win, someone else has to lose.
This is what I have always been taught which has made it difficult to be happy for others successes. Whenever someone else does well it raises the bar for me, making my success even more difficult.
When I first heard of an abundance mentality;
That there isn’t a limited amount of success, that even if I succeed others can too and if we co-operate success will come a lot easier and faster for us both. Not even my competition has to be my enemy. I can partner with them to use their strengths and let them use my strengths to compensate for their weaknesses.
When I first heard about this I laughed. I didn’t believe that I could work together with my competitors, we were going after the same customers and they have a limited budget, so any money that goes to my competition is money that doesn’t go to us.
My realization – Service to others will make you successful
It took me a long time to understand but with help from my mentor and from personal development books written by people like Stephen Covey and Brian Tracy I started believing in an abundance mentality.
In business I realized that everything was about serving your customers as well as possible. When you make a customer overjoyed they are willing to buy more, to listen to you more, they trust you more and therefore you make more money.
A great way to service your customers better is to partner with a competitor who is good at the things you are not and weak in the areas you are strong.
That way you can service the customers as well as possible.
The 3 things that help me remember the abundance mentality
1. I do sometimes need help
Sometimes I don’t have the answers; sometimes I don’t have the solution. It is okay to ask for help. If someone else has the solution you are looking for, the logical thing is to ask them for their input and if possible some help.
Just be prepared to give back in return in the future.
2. Think Win/Win
In every situation there can be one winner and one looser, two losers or there can be two winners.
In most negotiations one side “wins” and the other “loses” but long term what does this mean?
The loser will feel defeated, angry and over-run.
Next time you get into a negotiation they will not be so kind, they will want to get back at you for the loss they got last time.
If you “Win” over your colleagues by getting your ideas accepted while theirs get rejected they will try to get back at you, they will want to see you fail.
In reality winning when someone else looses just means you will lose in the future.
By finding a Win/Win solution you can often find a solution that actually is better for all parts then the original ideas.
You can use the knowledge and ideas from both parties to find something that really works.
If can be hard to find a Win/Win solution when the other part is thinking Win/Lose but if you stay with it, fight for your point, listen to their thoughts and ideas and prove that you are in this to find a solution that works well for both, it is possible to get to a Win/Win situation.
What is important though is that you don’t accept a loss on your part. If your “opponent” won’t give you an offer you can consider a win, go for “no deal” accept to disagree and part your ways so that you in the future can work together.
3. Seek first to understand then to be understood
When others feel listened to and respected they will be more willing to listen to you and respect you.
By taking the time to listen to others they will start listening to you.
This really helps when working on a Win/Win solution and when asking others for help. If they feel comfortable with you and respect you they will be more willing to help you when you need help and they will know that you always will be there for them in return.
Our society is an interdependent one; you cannot go around trying to beat everyone else. Instead bond with others, get their help and create something wonderful.
As long as you seek Win/Win solutions, listen to others, respect them and aren’t afraid to admit when you don’t have the answers, many doors will be opened for you and many opportunities will come your way.
Learn more Tips on Time Management and about The Success Principles from Daniel M. Wood at his blog lookingtobusiness.com join his free email course and start making Personal Developments and moving towards your success today.