If someone told you that they were ‘following their dreams’ what would you say to them? Would you mock and laugh or would you encourage and support them?
In May last year I declared to myself that I was following my dreams, to following my heart and my inner guide, to live a life of passion and to do something meaningful and purposeful with my life. Above all to fulfil my ambition of living with complete and utter freedom.
However, living your dreams can come at a price. Of course it is far easier to settle with the ordinary life, not rocking the boat or challenging the ‘way things are’. When you go for your dreams there can be a few downsides, criticism being one of them and lack of love.
Your dreams matter!
Firstly however, I really need to stress this point very clearly because it’s part of why I am here. You most definitely must, without delay, follow your dreams.
It’s what you were put on this earth for! Your dreams are the reason why you are here, why you live and breathe today. For you to be happy, fulfilled and in love with life you must follow your dreams because they matter!
There are no arguments here, just facts. Your dreams are of no concern to anyone else. They are yours alone and only you know what they are. Do not at any point share them with everyone, only to those you know who will support, encourage and lift you. Never be ashamed of your dreams. And always, always, always believe that they will happen.
Do this for you!
There’s always a downside…..
It’s true, with doing anything worthwhile there will be some pain. Except the pain you will experience will be temporary, however if you decide to not follow your dreams the pain will be far worse and will be permanent!
The biggest downside is loneliness. Take it from me this will happen. Its part of the process, part of change and stepping onto a new path to life you want.
You see when you live a life like everyone else. Doing the same old stuff year after year and moaning about life never changing then you’ll find you will have a lot of people to hang around with.
However do you want a life of the ordinary?
On the other hand, when you break free of that mould, do something a little different and don’t follow the crowd you’ll find that with this change, which will mean big changes, some relationships will fall by the wayside, friends, family members and personal relationships. This happens because you realise what you need to fulfil your dreams and that will mean leaving some people behind.
I can vouch for that. I slowly realised that people I had known for years, hung around with and wasted many a weekend with just weren’t going to support me on the path to following my dreams. I needed to surround myself with people who were on the same path, had already made their dreams a reality or just people who understood, encouraged and supported me. During the last 8 months or so, people I had in my life just no longer figure in my life either by my choice or theirs. It’s all part of the process and I’ve felt very lonely at times.
However, living and working towards a life of your dreams will mean spending time alone and being comfortable with that. It’s about changing your mind-set, changing the way you look at things and being mindful of the times when you will feel low and remembering why you are on this journey in the first place.
What to do when the friends disappear
First and foremost, look at it as another chapter of your life that we all have our own lives to continue with, some carry on with the ordinary whilst you take a new route. Be grateful for those friends because they were there when you needed them.
It’s time now to look at new ways of getting the support you need. For me I joined a few groups on Facebook and joined programs where I created new friendships and accountability partners with other members. I found this a great way of meeting like-minded people who were on the exact same journey as me, who each had their own doubts and fears plus they are always on my side as I am for them.
Secondly go out of your way to ‘advertise’ yourself. I don’t mean this in an ‘online dating’ kind of way, more of an ‘I’m a dreamer are you one too’ kind of approach. For example I set up a Meet up on Meetup.com and instantly met people who shared my philosophy on life and I continue to meet people. I’ve recently met a great friend, who I know I will have much in common with and who I can share the journey with its ups and downs with.
The best thing about these friends is that they ‘get me’ they understand my worries, my fears, and my anxieties plus also rejoice in my successes and give me the advice I may need just when I need it! You see the idea is that you don’t need a lot of friends; you just need those that ‘get you’ that want to be a part of your dreams and you theirs. That’s the exciting bit!
I am not saying loneliness wont’ crop up from time to time because it will, you’ll still spend a huge amount of time on your own, working hard and learning. But there is a thrill to this, the thrill of conquering the ‘impossible’ and by living this life you are almost there.
So tell me are you a dreamer and are you ready to change your life even if it means being lonely? (Lets’ face it you can be just as lonely with a lot of friends and not following your dreams – just saying!)
Paula loves people and connecting across the world. She has spent most of her life trying to fit resulting in years of pain. Now that she has found her freedom her work now is to share those experiences. It is her intention help others realise their uniqueness; that we are here to something magnificent with our lives and to do things only YOU can do. After all there is only one YOU on this planet. You can find her at PaulasWork