Divorce is a very stressful period in one’s life. As your whole world is being turned upside down, following the top five divorce survival tips will get you through the turmoil faster. Your whole world is turned upside down. If you were blindsided, your course of action is often motivated by your anger.
Yes, divorce is hard. Yes, there are decisions to be made. However, by following the simple top five divorce survival tips you will find that you are more at peace and able to make clear logical decisions regarding the rest of your life.
Divorce Survival Tips #1) Take care of yourself.
This includes, exercising, eating healthy and getting plenty of sleep. You may also choose to read, pray, meditate or pamper yourself with a massage. Taking care of yourself may be the most important of the divorce survival tips because when you take care of yourself physically, you are better equipped to handle any stressful situation that arises and are able to think rationally.
Divorce Survival Tips #2) Get support.
Many people are shocked by how many of their so called friends, seem to flee once they hear of your divorce. Other people may be so full of rage that they constantly talk about their divorce to anyone that will listen. Well-meaning family and friends may say things like, “It’s his loss,” or “He never deserved you,” or “You’re so much better without him.” This does nothing to help you heal the pain you are in. Seek out one or two people that you can trust and pour your heart out to them. If your friends are unable to listen or give you unbiased advice you may want to seek out the help of a therapist or divorce coach.
Divorce Survival Tips #3) Play nice.
Regardless how angry you are at what your ex did or did not do, keep it to yourself. There is no reason at all to give your ex a dirty name or spread his or her dirty deeds all over social media. If your ex is spreading vicious lies, be the bigger person. Don’t let him or her push your buttons. Don’t get caught up in an emotional discussion. Release your feelings in a safe nurturing environment.
Divorce Survival Tips #4) Choose your battles wisely.
A lot of anger and hurt is stirred up during a divorce. As you are going through the legal process, keep in mind that your decisions will affect you for the rest of your life. For example, many women choose to keep the family home. They fail to see that their husband will get the equivalent value in money. She may find that she is unable to keep up with the mortgage, taxes and upkeep and be struggling financially while her ex is gaining interest on the money he kept.
Divorce Survival Tips #5) Be willing to compromise.
In dividing up your physical property, don’t demand something just because you know it will hurt your spouse. Demanding that you get the pink on your ex’s classic Corvette just to hurt him, is serving no good. Likewise, demanding your ex’s heirloom china or jewelry is not justice. Know what you need to survive and what you want. Both of you will need to learn to share, give and take just like you would ask children to do.
Though the above divorce survival tips will not create a drama free happy divorce, it does place in motion, the ability to have an amicable divorce. If you have children, it also is a very good start to having a successful co-parenting relationship. Speaking of children, do not place them in the middle of your divorce. Do not badmouth the other parent in front of them. They have a right to love and to be loved by both of their parents.
Cindy Holbrook is a certified divorce coach and founder of CoachingForDivorcedWomen.com. She understands your fear, despair, loneliness and confusion as she left an emotionally abusive marriage after 20 years. Sign up for her “Coping with Divorce” newsletter to receive encouragement, tips and support throughout your divorce.