The Importance of Talking To Yourself

Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength which will always spring up if thou wilt always look there.Marcus Aurelius

I remember when I was ten years old, we were asked to write an essay on ‘My best friend’. I thought for a while about all my friends that I had and tried to find out one who knew everything about me. Surprisingly, in a group of very close friends there was no one who knew everything about me. None of them knew anything about how I felt at home and how desperately I wanted to grow up and much more. And few who knew.. never understood it thoroughly. After brief rumination, I realized that I was my own Best Friend as only I knew about my life completely. Hence, I wrote about myself and got a zero as my teacher thought I wrote the essay on ‘Myself’ and not on ‘My Best Friend’.

I have always been a very affable and friendly person and thus making friends was never difficult for me, then and even now. But whenever the thought of my best friend comes to my mind, I can confidently proclaim that ‘my self’ is my best friend.

Whenever I need someone to talk to, I turn to myself. My inner soul gives me the accurate answers to my questions. I ask myself about my actions, needs, desires and capabilities. And I get the right answers and reasons! Only thing needed here to carry on with the conversation is – honesty.

One has to be brutally honest with oneself if one wants to talk to ones inner self. Be firm about your questions, don’t evade even the most elusive ones because in most certainty you will find answers to all the doubts and all the questions you pose to your conscious.

Here are five things you need to do to be able to carry out an excogitative conservation.

1) Build a relationship with your inner self – we all have different relationships with different people. But do we have a relationship with our own self? If yes, what kind is it? Do we love ourselves? Or is our inner soul our best friend? Do we bully our conscious with our actions or do we keep preaching it new things by reflexive activities? Figure out the type of your relationship and improve it. Build a rapport where your soul is free to talk to you fearlessly.

2) Be honest – while seeking answers, try to recollect even the minuscule detail and accept the reality. Be true and genuine and try to reason with full honesty. You will get the right reasons and the absolute answers.

3) Take a moment with yourself – your inner self may not be comfortable everywhere and that is the reason many a times we say ‘I don’t know what I want..’ or ‘I am not able to get an answer’. Go to a place that gives you peace. Maybe on the roof top under the sky, a beach, next to a water lake, under a tree, in a dark room, while walking on the road or anywhere. Only you know which place lets you talk freely to your self.

4) Ask questions – excruciate yourself with all the questions you have in mind. Don’t just ask ‘yes’ or ‘no’ questions. Ask why you did something or why you want something. Get answers to questions like what if you had done it differently, how could you not do it, would you do it again etc.

5) Respect your inner self – there is no use of letting your conscious speak, if you do not listen to it. Because if you disobey your inner voice few times, it stops talking to you. So, start venerating your soul’s voice and next time whenever you try to listen to your heart, actually LISTEN to it.

After all, myself is nothing but my ‘self’ is all!


Surabhi lives in Andaman and Nicobar Islands, a group of islands in southern India, with her husband and nine month old daughter. She quit a corporate job to focus on her family and enjoy the process of being a mother and a home maker. She believes simply: ‘it is good to live’ and her blog is an attempt to prove it. It is a platform to share thoughts, ideas, happiness and sorrows. She would be delighted if you join it !

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